Born Free
by weedom
Summary: Lara is Bobby's niece, Sam's best friend, Jimmy's daughter, Cas' ward, Gabe's favorite human, and the love of Dean's life.  If Zachariah never came into Lara's house to kill her family this is show Dean and her's life should have been.  Starts preseries then goes on into a slight AU.
1. Chapter 1

A/N this is intended to be an AU for Becoming Free. It's the way their life was supposed to be before Zachariah robbed Lara and Dean of it. You don't have to have read Becoming Free to read this story but you might enjoy it more if you do.

Lara's POV

This is going to be the most exciting week of my life. Mommy and daddy have let me spend the night and the occasional weekend with Uncle Bobby and Aunt Karen but this time I get an entire week. An entire week of baking cookies with Aunt Karen and playing around the cars with Uncle Bobby. Uncle Gabe and Uncle Cas are sitting next to me in the car. Mommy and daddy can't see them and it freaks them out when I talk about them but they are always with me. There used to be more angels that watched me but I didn't like the other ones. I just want Uncle Gabe, Uncle Cas, and sometimes Uncle Balthazar but he talks funny.

Mommy turns around and grabs my free hand. Suzy my pink stuffed rabbit is always in other hand. She's my favorite stuffed animal. "I am going to miss you honey. We will be back in a week and I will call you every night. Be good for Uncle Bobby and Aunt Karen." I smile back at her. "I promise I will be mommy."

I lean my head on Uncle Gabe's shoulder and yawn. I know I told my mom I didn't need a nap but I am tired. Daddy looks back and must see that I'm leaning on thin air because he doesn't look happy. I know it scares him sometimes but I love them and they love me. My angels aren't always invisible. Sometimes they come in bodies and sometimes Uncle Gabriel will go into my mommy but that scares me and he doesn't do that anymore.

We pull up to Uncle Bobby's and I wait restlessly in the car for them to undo my car seat. Uncle Gabe gives me a kiss on the cheek. "We'll be back later darling. You will be safe with your uncle Bobby." I pout at him and they disappear. For some reason they don't feel has worried when I'm with them. But when I'm with my parents they are always around. Daddy gets me out of the seat and I run to the porch and jump into Uncle Bobby's arms and he gives me a kiss. "UNCLE BOBBY! WE ARE GOING TO HAVE THE BEST WEEK EVER!" He lets out a laugh and puts me down and I run over to Aunt Karen.

Mommy brings my suitcase inside and takes it upstairs to my room. The last few times I was here Aunt Karen and I have been putting the room together. Uncle Bobby painted it light blue and we got little mermaid bedding. Aunt Karen even painted little fishes on the wall so I can feel like I'm underwater. I have a real big girl bed too. At home I have a twin bed for little girls but Aunt Karen got me a big bed.

Before mommy and daddy leave I give them each big hugs and kisses and let them know I will be ok. I will miss them but I will be fine. My parents leave and Aunt Karen brings me cookies and milk. I finish them and I start to yawn and before I know it I'm sound asleep.

I wake up a bit later in my bed. Uncle Gabe is back and standing in the corner of my room. "You're back!" I say happily. He smiles at me and hands me a lollipop. "Honey you are going to be having some visitors soon. It's best if you don't tell them you can see us. You might not see much of us over the next few days but I promise you we will be here every night when you sleep."

The tears well up in my eyes and I try to fight them back. "Why aren't you going to be around?" I don't mean to cry but I do. He gets in the bed next to me and gives me a hug. "The people coming will be able to take good care of you and it might scare them if you tell them you can see us."

I shake my head. At least they will be here when I sleep. They will watch over me like they always do. I get up and walk downstairs and I see Uncle Bobby and Aunt Karen talking quietly in the kitchen. I walk in and jump into the chair. They look at me and Aunt Karen smiles. "Hey sweet heart we are going to have some guests coming to stay for us for a few days."

"I know Uncle Gabe told me. And don't worry he already told me not to tell them that I see angels." They both give me a smile. They are never has freaked out by it has my parents. They just accept it and sometimes even ask about them. "Do we still get to bake and play with the cars?" I ask really worried that their guests will ruin my week.

Uncle Bobby laughs and kisses me head. "Of course honey. Two boys are coming so you can play with some kids too." That gets my attention. Mommy and daddy don't let me play with a lot of other kids because I once told a little girl that I see angels and she thought I was lying and I hit her. That's the last time I told anyone that I see them and that's the last time I had a play date.

The game is around here somewhere. I start to dig through the bookshelf. There it is. I pull it out and bring it to the kitchen. "Can we play Chutes and Latters?" I ask hopefully.

"How about after dinner we play. Maybe the boys will want to play with you?" That would be fun, it would be nice to have more people playing the game. I drag a stool over to the counter and stand up on it and help her finish dinner.

I love cooking with Aunt Karen. She never treats me like a kid and lets me help. She's making macaroni and cheese and hot dogs tonight, my favorite. She never makes out of the box macaroni and cheese but only the real thing. She lets me help grate the different cheese and put them over the noodles. She already baked a pie but we prep some cookies while we wait on the macaroni and cheese. Uncle Bobby is cooking the hot dogs outside on the grill.

_Knock Knock Knock._ "Bobby can you get the door. Our hands are a bit messy." Aunt Karen yells to Uncle Bobby who is coming in with the hot dogs. Our hands are covered in cookie dough and I giggle.  
>"I got it sweet heart." And he kisses her. I make an icky sound and they both smile at me.<p>

"Let's get you cleaned up honey." We clean our hands up in the sink and I grab Suzy. I put her in her seat while we were cooking because she's not very good at it. Last time she helped Aunt Karen had to give her a bath and Suzy does not like baths at all.

Uncle Bobby comes in with three strangers behind him. I wave and walk over to them and extend my hand. "Hi my name is Lara. What is yours?" I ask extending my hand to the older man standing in front of me.

He gets down on his knee and shakes my hand. "My name is John Winchester. What is your rabbit's name?" He asks pointing towards Suzy. "Oh she is Suzy." He smiles, I like him.

I look behind him and there are two boys. The one is a lot older than me I think. He's pretty tall and the picture on his t-shirt kind of scares me. The kid next to him is only a bit older than me I think. I walk to the older one and extend my hand and he just looks at it for a minute. John lightly hits his shoulders, and he shakes my hand. "I'm Dean."

"Hi Dean." I say with a big smile. He seems kind of sad. I look around him and wave at the other boy. He smiles at me and shakes me hand. "I'm Sam." He doesn't look has sad has his brother.

"Aunt Karen and I made macaroni and cheese with hot dogs if you guys are hungry." That seemed to put a smile on the older ones face. I feel a hand on my shoulder and I turn around to see Aunt Karen standing behind me. "We also made a pie for you Dean." She gives both the boys a hug and a kiss. She seems to know them.

Dean's POV

It's been a long time since we've been to Bobby's and Karen's and I really like spending time here. It feels like a real home unlike the countless nameless hotels we stay at. Sammy has been ridiculously excited to get here. He could hardly sit still in the car. When we knocked on the door Bobby pulled dad and I aside while Sam finished getting his books together. "I have my five year old niece staying here for the week. She doesn't know about our life and I don't want her to know about her life. So don't slip up." We both agree. I want to laugh. If there is one thing I can do is keep this a secret. I've been keeping it from Sammy for years. He's just starting to comprehend what's going on but I still keep the worst of it from him, and that's pretty good considering he's nine and still isn't afraid of the monsters that could be under his bed.

I didn't know what I expected from a five year old girl but this definitely wasn't it. Sam was so shy hell still is and she just walks right up to my dad and shakes his hand. She looks so innocent. She has really dark hair that is pulled up into sloppy pig tails on either side of her head. Her eyes are just a tad too big and really blue but they make her look even more innocent. She is clutching on to a little pink stuffed rabbit with floppy ears. I don't even notice that she's standing in front of me talking until dad hits my shoulders. I immediately extend my hand. "I'm Dean."

I think she said her name was Lara and she looks around me and introduces herself to Sam. I'm not sure how long we are going to be here but I have a feeling that dad is going to make me watch Sammy and this little girl too while we're here. He needs to talk to Bobby and they aren't going to let the kids around while they talk. I hate how they treat me like I am a kid too. I'm 12 and have been an adult for a long time, probably since the day my mom died. I've been raising Sam since he was a baby and taking care of dad since then too.

The little girl gives me an excited look. "Aunt Karen and I made macaroni and cheese with hot dogs if you guys are hungry." My stomach starts to growl. It's been a long time since I've had a real home cooked meal and Karen puts my out of the can dinners to shame. Karen looks at me and smiles. "We also made a pie for you Dean." I can't help but smile. She always remembers to make me an apple pie when I come.

"Thanks Karen." I say quietly. We drop our bags at the front door and all take a seat around the dinner table. Bobby takes the head of the table with Karen next to him. I sit next to Karen and dad takes the side opposite Karen. Sam and Lara take a seat next to each other and seem to be hitting it off. Poor Sammy doesn't get to play with a lot of other kids. I know she's a lot younger than him but it's good for him to play with kids. Lara keeps looking at my shirt and turning away quickly and burying her head in her bunny. She looks like she's scared. I look down. Shit, I forgot I was wearing my Pantera t-shirt and there are skulls all over it. The girl is practically still a baby she must be scared shitless of me. I excuse myself from the table saying I need to use the bathroom. I quickly turn my shirt inside out and go back to the table. If anyone notices they don't say anything but Lara gives me a smile and seems to relax.

After dinner dad gives me a look and I know he wants me to the take kids to the other room so he can talk to Bobby and Karen alone. Karen must notice has well because she hands Lara a board game. "Honey why don't you take the boys into the living room see if they want to play while we clean up in here." She jumps out of her seat and grabs the games and drags Sammy behind her. I let out a little chuckle and follow them.

When I get in the living room she is already setting up the game and letting Sammy pick his game piece. She hands me the box. "What color do you want to be? I like to be red. Suzy likes the yellow but if you want yellow she'll be green."

I look at the pieces and pull out the green. I can't believe I am going to play a board game with a five year old and a bunny. "So what are the rules Laura?"

She gives me a slightly pissed off look and I'm surprised. "My name is Lara not Laura. And it's easy. If you get a chute you have to follow it down and if you get a latter you get to go up. The first to the end of the board wins."

"Sorry Lara I won't make the mistake again." Sammy rolls his eyes at me and she hands me the dice. I guess she forgave me. "You start it out Dean, then you Sammy, then me, them Suzy."

We play the game twice and I am surprised that I actually had fun. It's a pretty stupid easy game but it's kind of nice to see Sammy having fun. I notice that Sammy and Lara seem to be getting sleepy. They both can't seem to stop yawning. Lara is pulling another board game out and setting it up has I go in to talk to dad.

The adults all stop speaking and look over at me. The fear in their face dissolve when they see it's just me. "Hey, the kids are getting sleepy. Where are we all sleeping so I can get them to bed?" Karen's face softens and stands up. "I was going to put you and Sam in Lara's room. Lara has a pretty big bed and one of you can share with her and I have a sleeping bag we can put on the floor. Is that ok?"

"Yes of course it is." Karen follows me back into the living room and Lara lets out a loud sigh. "it's time for bed isn't it Aunt Karen?"

Karen laughs and picks her up. "Yes darling it is. Let's get your teeth brushed and ready for bed." They head upstairs and I can hear Lara giggling at something that Karen is saying.

I grab Sammy's and I bags and he follows me upstairs. We go into the first bed room and I'm surprised to see the changes. The last time I was here there were two twin beds one with girly bedding that I made Sammy sleep in. Now the room is painted a light blue and there are fish painted all over the walls. There is one big bed and there are more fish and I think a mermaid on the bedding. I drop our bags and hand Sammy his pjs. "You're going to share the bed with Lara but I'll be on the floor right here." I said pointing to the spot in front of the door. I know that we are at Bobby's but it's still my job to watch him. I feel safer being near the door. No one can get in without me knowing about it.

"I don't want to share a bed with a girl Dean. What if I get cooties?" I laugh at him and tussle his hair. "Sammy in a few years you're going to be begging to share a bed with a girl. It's just for a few nights." He resigns himself to his fate and changes and heads to the bathroom to brush his teeth.

I take a few minutes to scan the room. I can see the salt on the window ledge. I wonder how Bobby explains that to her. Karen comes in carrying Lara and has a sleeping bag in her other hand. She hands to it to me. "I will bring some extra blankets and pillows in a few minutes Dean."

Karen puts Lara down in the bed and kisses her forehead. "Sing me a song Aunt Karen!" Lara says excitingly. She beings to sing a song I don't recognize and I feel a little twinge go through my heart. I miss this. Sometimes I can remember my mom and she would sing me to sleep every night too. By the end of the song she is sound asleep. Sammy comes in and crawls into the other side of the bed and Karen walks over to him and tucks him. She kisses his forehead and he gives her the biggest smile I've seen on his face in months. "Good night Sammy. We're downstairs if you need anything."

Before she can come back Sammy is asleep to. She brings me a bunch of blankets and pillows and helps me set up my bed. She starts to knell down and help tuck me in and I allow her too. She kisses my forehead. "Night Dean."

I lay there awake for about an hour. I can hear my dad through the floor boards. I hear him come up the stairs and he opens the door slightly to check in on us. I wave at him and he waves back. He gives me a smile and shuts the door again.

"No, no, don't touch me! HELP!" I hear in my sleep. I quickly jump up. I look over at the bed and Lara is thrashing around screaming in her sleep. Of course Sammy isn't waking up. That kid could sleep through a nuclear bomb. I run over to the bed and shake her awake.

Her eyes slowly open but they focus on a stop behind me. "Uncle Gabe." She says pitifully. She sits up and I rub her back. "No Lara it's Dean." She stops looking behind me and meets my eyes.

"Dean?" She says confused. Her eyes start to well up. "You promised to wake me up." She says quietly. She buries her head in my chest and starts to cry. I am not sure what I'm supposed to do. Sam usually just goes back to sleep when he wakes up from a nightmare.

"You ok Lara?" She looks up with tears in her eyes but she shakes her head yes. "What were you dreaming about who is Uncle Gabe?"

Her eyes get wide and she looks over my shoulder again. She looks like she is listening to somebody but then she meets my eyes again. "I was just dreaming sorry I was confused. I'm not supposed to talk about my dreams it upsets mommy and daddy."

"It's ok you can tell me." What could she possibly be dreaming about that upsets her parents. She shakes her head no and grabs her rabbit and buries her face in it. "No I am not supposed to talk about it."

She pushes away from me and lays back in the bed. I go to get up but she grabs me. "Can you stay with me until I fall back asleep?" She asks me kind of scared. Dammit her pouty face is even worse than Sam's. I nudge her over. "Scoot over squirt."

I only intended to stay until she went to sleep but before I could get up she entangled me like an octopus from her wall. Sammy would sleep like this when he was really little and was scared or sick. He liked to have me close. It's funny how different little girls smell from boys though. Sammy always smelled like chips and spaghetto's, well maybe that is because all I feed him. But she smells like cotton candy and apples. She starts to squirm around and hits my head lightly with her fist then she calms down and falls back to sleep. Her little hand has a vice grip on her bunny and her bunny just so happens to be in my face. I can't help but smile and I fall asleep too.

a/n tell me what you think. It's just a starting point idea. Does it make it to confusing to have both paths written out? I'm still going to work on becoming free but I thought this could be kind of fun.


	2. Chapter 2

Sam's POV

Dad said we can stay the rest of the week so that makes me really happy. We have been here four days already and I can feel the days ticking down like a clock to my execution. I hate traveling around all the time. I hate sleeping in hotels and changing schools every other week. I just want a normal life like Lara gets.

It's been really fun. Bobby and Karen pretty much let us have free reign over the house and salvage yard minus the basement. We are not allowed down there. I tried to sneak down there once and Dean nearly skinned my hide.

Even Dean has been having fun. We've been playing tag, hide and seek, board games, all kinds of fun stuff. Lara maybe a little girl but she's alright. She is practically fearless, until it's nighttime. She doesn't like the dark and she sure doesn't like bed time. The first two nights I went to sleep with just her and I in the bed and Dean sleeping on the floor but woke up with Dean in the bed with us. Last night he didn't even bother with sleeping on the floor and Lara snuggled down between us. Dean told me not to push her but apparently she has nightmares. I can't imagine what that girl could possibly be dreaming about, her life is perfect.

"Whatcha doing Sammy?" I hear to my left. I look over and down and Lara is standing there smiling at me with her bunny clutched in her hand. Her hair is down instead of in pig tails and she has on blue jean cover all's and a pink t-shirt. I smile at her and pull a chair next to me and she climbs into it. "I have some homework to catch up on. I'm working on math."

She looks over my work and scrunches her face. "I don't understand it at all." She says, defeat creeping into her voice. "Can you read Lara?" She shakes her head no.

"We can start there. Do you know your alphabet?" Her whole face breaks into a smile and she starts to sing the alphabet song. Hey I have somewhere to start.

Three hours later I look down at my watch I'm shocked to see how long I have been hanging out with her. I've showed her how to write her letters out in capitals and lower case and I showed her how to spell her name, mine, Dean's, dad's, Bobby's, and Karen's.

"What are you two up to?" Dean asks from the door jam leaning against it like he's to cool to study. Lara looks up at him and waves him over and points proudly at the papers in front of her. "Sammy is teaching me how to read and write. Look Dean I did the alphabet and my name all by myself." She shoves him a paper. "I did your name too! It's for you."

I give Dean a glance. I don't want him to make fun of her like he would normally make fun of me. He meets my gaze and I know he understands me. "That's great Lara." She smiles and leans back over her paper. She's finishing up Aunt Karen's. She insisted on putting drawings in with their names. Mine has my name in the middle with books and random letters all around it. Dean's has cars, pretty well drawn actually, all around it. Bobby's has car parts and Dad's has what looked like U's when she informed me they were smiles because she likes dad's smile so she added two dots for eyes so it makes more sense. She's putting cookies and whisks around Karen's. She made me help her spell out two others but I don't know who they are, Uncle Cassie and Uncle Gabe. I'll ask Bobby later but I have feelings its imaginary friends or something.

I haven't had time to get a lot of my work done. I've had fun with her but I have a ton of work to finish. It's not I actually have homework but every school I go to is at a different part so I just teach most of it to myself so I'm always caught up if not a little bit ahead. I give Dean another begging glance and he gets my drift. "Hey squirt why don't we go give them your other drawings."

That seems to make her excited and she jumps up and collects her papers. I hear them go into the kitchen and give Karen's hers. She lets out loud happy squeal. "I love it Lara. How did you learn your letters?" I wish I had a mom who got excited about things like that.

"Sammy taught me Aunt Karen. He's really smart." I smirk and go back to my work.

Dean's POV

I was headed out to change the oil in dad's car and make sure the engine was going well but Sammy and Lara distracted me like they have been doing all week. He had taught her the letters of the alphabet and she seemed so excited about it. Great now I have two dorks around me. I can't help but smirk. The drawing she did for me is really kind of cool though. I like cars so it kind of fits me perfectly. I fold it up and tuck it in my pocket.

"I'm going to head out and do some stuff with dad's car." I say to Lara and Karen. Lara looks up at her aunt then at me. I can tell she is going to give me her pouty face and I know I'm going to agree to it before she even says anything. "Can I go with you?" She asks. I shake my head and she grabs her bunny and follows me outside.

"Uncle Bobby lets me help so I can help you. I know about wrenches and screwdrivers and all kinds of stuff. Suzy doesn't like to get dirty so I will put her inside the car so she can stay clean." I shake my head laughing and she follows me to the car.

We work in a good rhythm for awhile. I get under the car and I ask for tools and surprisingly she knows which ones I asked for and hands me the right one every time. I guess Bobby has been working with her on them. After I finish the oil I spend a good amount of time just checking the engine out. Some of the filters need cleaned out and some of the parts need a fine tune so I work on them too. After awhile Lara stops responding to me and I look over and she's asleep on a spare seat sitting out the scrap yard. Sammy used to fall asleep like that when he was her age.

I grab her bunny and put it in her arms. I know she'd want her. I continue to work on the car by myself. I'm not quite sure how long it's been but she starts to groan in her sleep. I get out from under the car and I can see she is crying and thrashing around on the seat. I run over to her and shake her a bit. She doesn't wake up.

"Stop crying you little bitch or I will gut you like a fucking fish!" I hear come out of her throat. It sounds nothing like her voice at all but I saw her open her mouth and it came out of it. It's a dark menacing voice. I hear her whimper in her voice. I shake her again and her eyes pop open and she lets out a little whelp. She looks behind me gets up and runs over to another extra car seat and jumps on it. She buries her head in the seat and for a moment I swear I see her hair move. Well no shit Dean, we're outside it's probably just the wind. Every few minutes she whimpers out and says what I think sounds like "Uncle Cassie."

I let her cry into the seat for a few minutes without asking her what's going on. Once she seems to calm down I go over to the seat and knell in front of her. "What's going on Lara? Who said those bad words in front of you?" I know it wasn't Bobby or Karen.

She gives me a really scared look and looks straight up has if something should be there. I remember Sammy have imaginary friends when he was younger so maybe that's what's going on. "I can't tell you Dean." She says sadly.

I reach out and touch her shoulder. "You can tell me Lara. I won't tell anyone. Does your Uncle Bobby know you have bad dreams?" She shakes her head no and whips her eyes with the back of hand. "Mommy and Daddy told me not to tell anyone about it."

I clench my teeth. I don't like not being able to help. "You can tell me." She looks at me and for a moment I think she's going to talk then she shakes her head no. "I'll tell you when I'm 18."

"What? Why when your 18?" I can't help but laugh it just wasn't what I expected to come out of her mouth.

"I heard your daddy tell Uncle Bobby that you couldn't do something till you 18 cause then you'd be an adult. So when I turn 18 I'll be an adult and I can tell you and mommy and daddy can't get mad." She is smiling again, apparently pleased with her rational.

I shake my head a little frustrated but that's a move forward. "Who is Uncle Cassie? You asked for him or Uncle Gabe before."

Her eyes grow large and she looks up again and seems like she is listening to someone or something that isn't there. She looks at me with a tight lipped expression. "They are my friends. I can't tell you about them. Only I can see them." Yep they are imaginary. That's fine has along as they aren't demons or something.

I stand up and knock the dust of my jeans and walk back to the car. When I turn around she jumps out and grabs my hand. "Can we go back and get some food? I'm hungry?" I laugh and let her drag me back to the house.

We get back to the house and sure enough Karen is making us all a snack. She has grilled cheese sandwiches cut up in fours sitting on three plates and apple slice with peanut butter on them in the center of the table. She gives us a smile when we come in. "I was just going to call for you two. Lara go get Sammy and you guys can have a snack."

Lara goes bounding through the house yelling for Sammy. I laugh and look up at Karen. I'm still a bit worried about Lara. "Karen who is Uncle Gabe and Uncle Cassie? Lara talks to them sometimes."

For a moment Karen looks worried then she relaxes and gives me an easy smile. "They are her imaginary friends. She doesn't spend a lot of time with other kids and I think she gets lonely sometimes." I shake my head, that's what I thought.

They both come back into the room and climb into their seats and start to eat. It's nice to have someone make meals for Sammy. I would never admit it but I like it for me too. I look over at him and he's smiling away eating his sandwich. I wish he could have had this.


	3. Chapter 3

Three years later

John's POV

"John you know it is for the best. It's what Sam really wants." Bobby has been pleading with me for hours now. I know it's what Sam wants but it would take him away from me. I let out a sigh and look out the window. Sam is playing with Lara out front and Dean is out there doing something with the car.

I look over at Karen. "He's my son. I can't just leave him." She gets up and sits next to me putting her arm around me. "You're not abandoning him John. You're leaving him with Bobby and me. You know we will take care of him. We love your boys just has much as we would our own. He wants a normal life and he wants to go to school. I talked to the principal and he even said he would let Dean finish school with correspondence classes has long has he comes in once a month with his homework assignments and takes his tests."

"Dean hates school. He made me swear to him he could quit when he was old enough." I will not be winning any parent of the year awards I know that. I let my oldest make the rules.

Karen gives me exasperated look. "That is ridiculous John. He needs to at least get his high school diploma."

Dammit they have thought it all out and they are right. "I need time to think about this guys. You just threw it on me a few hours ago. I need to think that's all. Where would he stay anyway?" Dean will be heartbroken if I do this. He raised Sam more than I did. I know Sam hates hunting. He's just not like Dean. I've taken him out a few times and he hates it. It's not he's not good at it, that kid is good at everything he puts his mind too. He put down his first werewolf last month and I was so proud of him but he was so upset he didn't talk to me for three days.

"We have rooms John. He can take Lara's room or your room. School starts in a week so you need to decide soon. We already bought a couch bed for the den for you or Dean when you stay." They really have thought it all out. "You know it's for the best. How often do you guys fight now?"

He got me there. "At least once a day sometimes more." Dean is more of a referee than a son and brother. He is constantly trying to break us up. I don't know when my youngest and I got so bad. I love him so much but we can't seem to stop bickering. If this keeps going on he will begin to hate me and I'll never get him back. "I need to talk to Dean first. He isn't going to take this well." Bobby can tell he's won and he gives me a weak smile.

Outside Lara and Sammy are huddled over something talking. They look up at me when I come outside has if they were caught doing something bad. I wave at them and head out to find Dean. He's under the hood of the impala like he normally is. He loves that car more than I do. He doesn't know it but when he turns 18 I'm going to give it to him. I've been trying to fix up a truck here to use when it's time. Dean hears me coming a mile away, kids a natural hunter, and whips around gun in hand when I come up behind him. He sees it's me and relaxes. "Hey dad what's up?"

God I have no idea how to tell him. "Dean we need to talk about something." He gives me a nervous glance and slams the hood shut. He turns around wiping the grease off on his cover alls. "What's up pop?" He asks casually. He has no idea I'm about to turn his world upside down.

"Bobby and Karen have come to me with an idea. They would like Sammy to move in with them to finish school." Dean's face falls and for a moment I think he might cry. But he doesn't, he's a Winchester, he puts on a hard face. "Do you think that's a good idea dad?"

I shake my head yes. "You know it is. He hates this life. We will still take him out a few times a year and we'll take him with us for the entire summer. But for the school year he can stay here and go to school. Karen talked to the principal and set up some kind of deal where you can finish high school with correspondence classes as well."

Dean is pissed but he would never back talk me. "Dad you said I didn't have to finish school. I'm 16 I'm old enough not to go anymore if I don't want to."

"I know son but they are right. You need to get a diploma. You can bring your work with you. Then once a month you turn it in and take a few tests. It will be fine." He sighs and I know he'll do it.

"What about Sammy? You're going to just leave him here? I'm supposed to watch over him. That's going to hard to do if he's not with me." Guilt floods over me. I have made my oldest a father. He raised Sammy not me and he's going to be the one having a hard time letting go.

"Bobby is a great hunter and so is Karen. They will take care of him. You know this is going to be better for him. He'll be happier." He shakes his head. He loves his brother and will do what is right.

"I told the kids I would take them to town for ice cream. I'll tell him." I shake my head. I know I should be the one to tell him but well I lost the right to when I made Dean raise him.

Sam's POV

"Did you do say just the way we practiced Lara?" We are huddled on the front porch trying to make sure no one over hears us.

"I did it just like we practiced. I said Uncle Bobby why don't you and Aunt Karen ask Sammy to move in so he can finish school. That's all I said. I didn't push or anything." Good, we had to make sure it seemed like their idea.

I give Lara a quick hug and she hugs me back. Ever since that first time we meet her she comes over and stays with Bobby and Karen when we come. Once a year dad lets us stay here for a week and just relax and she always stays. "Thanks Lara, I hope they let me."

"Me too! It will be great to have my best friend here with me." I nudge her a bit. "I thought Dean was your favorite."

She gives me a wide mouthed shocked look. "No! You're my best friend; you're like my big brother. Dean is my other best friend but you are my brother." I smile at her. She's my only friend and my sister. "You can take my room when they let you stay. It's bigger."

I shake my head no. "That's your room Lara. I will take the smaller one." She tries to protest but I cut her off.

Dean starts to walk to us and he looks kind of angry. He stops in front of us. "Hey squirt you and Sammy ready to head out?" Dean has just gotten his license and he has been looking for any excuse to drive.

We all pile into the car and drive to a small dinner in town and get out getting ice cream. I think dad talked to Dean because he seems tense. Luckily Lara always brings a good side out of him so I'm really glad she's here. When I finish my last bite Dean looks at me and frowns. "Dad and I have talked it over and you are going to stay here when we leave and you are going to go to school full time."

My mouth drops and I grab Lara's hand under the table and she squeezes it tight. "That's awesome! Thanks Dean!" He looks sad and Lara pinches me. "I mean I'll miss you but I am glad to be able to go to school and not keep changing around."

Dean hands me twenty bucks. "Why don't you go pay Sammy." I get up and look down and he looks sad. Lara gives me a get going look and I leave.

Lara's POV

I may only be eight but even I can tell that Dean is sad. Sammy can be so stupid sometimes. When he said, "That's awesome! Thanks Dean!" I could see Dean's face fall and his heart break. I'm glad Dean sent him away so I can talk to him for a minute.

Once Sam leaves I jump to his side and give him a hug. "It's going to be ok Dean. You know he loves you and will miss you but this is better for him. He's not like you. He needs normal and boring." I still don't understand why their dad can't just stop being a traveling sales man and just stay put but apparently that isn't an option.

"I know squirt. It's just going to be weird that's all." He's really sad and there is nothing I can do to make him feel better. I give him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Now you will have reason to visit me more often. I promise I'll take care of Sammy when you're not here."

He gives me a weak smile and I know he's a bit better. "You better watch him. He is a trouble maker." He says with a laugh. At least he is able to laugh. I don't want him to be upset. I have only two friends that matter and that's him and Sam. If one of them is sad it makes me sad. Mommy and daddy don't like that I am so close with them but Uncle Cassie and Uncle Gabe told me not to worry about it.

*one week later*

"Sammy get your butt in the car! We are going to be late and it's the first day!" I yell up the stairs. Dean already came and picked me up at home and brought me back here. He said he would drive us to school on our first day. It took me three hours of crying to convince daddy to let Dean take me but he caved. The water works usually work.

"Lara I am coming. Calm down!" I give Dean a frustrated look. It's his first day too. He is going to go in to meet the principal and the teachers. He is going to spend the first few days at school then they are going to give him his assignments. Apparently this is highly unorthodox but they are willing to try and make an exception. I hope he doesn't mess it up.

I look in the corner of the room and Uncle Gabe is standing there. He is coming to school with me today to make sure everything is alright. I smile at him and wave. I don't mind school but I do like having one of my angels with me. It makes me a little less nervous.

Sam finally comes down the stairs and grabs a piece of toast off the table and we head out. Dean drops me off at my school first. He gets out when we get there and hands me my book bag and lunch. "If you need anything I'm at the high school. If anyone gives you a hard time let them know they will have Sam or me to deal with." He gives me a quick hug. "Have a good day squirt." I smile and run inside to my new class room.

When the school bell rings I'm excited to see Sammy and Dean waiting outside for me. I run over to them and give them big hugs and Dean takes my book bag and throws in the back seat. "How was your first day squirt?" He asks.

"It was great! My teacher is really nice. Her name is Miss. Trunbell. I am really going to like school this year I think." I look over and Uncle Gabe is still there. He stayed all day with me. He even came to lunch with me but I sat with my new friends. I asked him if he was mad and he said it was alright that I ate with them and that it was good for me too. "How was your first day?" I ask them both.

Sam starts to laugh. "Oh my day was fine but Dean's was great." Dean hits his brother and I give him a puzzled look. He refuses to look at me and I drag on Sam's arm. "Why was his day so great?"

Dean gives him a dark look and Sam starts to laugh again. "Oh no reason, Romeo here hooked up with Megan in the janitor's closet today apparently." I laugh with Sam and Dean gives us both a frustrated look. We both make kissy sounds at him all the way home.

Mommy and Daddy said I could spend some time at Uncle Bobby's and Aunt Karen's after school has long as I'm home before bedtime. We head back and I let out a yawn. "You need a nap squirt?" Dean asks me.

I shake my head no. I'm a big girl now I don't need to sleep after school. Sam helps us with our homework and Aunt Karen gives us all a snack. I don't mean to but I fall asleep.

Dean's POV

So school might not be that bad after all, especially if Megan is still around tomorrow. I can't believe Sam told Lara, she is definitely going to tell her aunt and uncle and they are going to tell dad and they are all going to harass me for the rest of the week.

Lara claims that she isn't tired but it only takes her about 30 minutes to fall asleep at the dining room table. She doesn't sleep much at night and sometimes she just needs a little pick me up to get through the day. Sam helped her with her spelling homework and she was sound asleep before he could help her with the math. Karen came in and took her upstairs.

Sam is helping me with chemistry and I am getting frustrated. "Why do I need to know this shit Sam? How will this help me kill a ghost?" He groans and makes me focus back on the paper. "Dean just focus. Look at this way salt is a mix of sodium and chloride and somehow they make ghosts go puff!" I give him another hour of my time but I can't do anymore. Why does my little brother have to be a freaking genius? And how the hell did he get so smart? Makes me feel stupid sometimes.

Bobby got a couch bed in the den off the living room for me to stay in while I'm here but it's too loud down here with everyone. Karen is making dinner and Bobby is on the phone yelling at some hunter that messed up a hunt. Dad is talking to Sam about his first day of school. They have been getting along a lot better in just a week. I think it really was the right decision to let Sam stay here. I need some peace and quiet and some time with my walkman. "Hey Sammy I am gonna use your room for a bit."

He waves me off and I head up the stairs walk man in hand. I don't even want to think about the history I have to go over later tonight or even worse the math. I walk by Lara's room and it sounds like someone is in there with her.

I stand by the door and listen in. "Shut up bitch or I will skull fuck you till you shut up!" That's all I needed to hear, I slam the door open, pull my gun out, and brace myself for the attacker but no one is there. It's just Lara. She is laying in bed thrashing around. I realize the voice is coming from her again. "I am going to fucking kill you, you little cunt!" She screams in the same voice. I shove my gun back in the waistband of my jeans has she thrashes around.

I run over to her and shake her awake. I don't know where she hears this stuff. When her eyes finally open she looks around the room panicked and like normal focuses on a spot behind me. She doesn't say anything for a minute then lets out a sob. "You want to talk about it?" I ask her knowing her response.

She shakes her head no and her body slowly starts to stop shaking. "Not till I'm 18." She looks behind me again and I feel her start to relax. "Lara this is getting ridiculous can you just tell me what's going on."

"No Dean. I promised mommy and daddy." I stand up and try to steady my hands. This is starting to piss me off, and there is nothing for me to fight. "Wait here." I order her. I run down the stairs into my make shift room and dig through my duffel. I know I put it in here somewhere. My hand grabs it and I run back up the stairs.

"Here take this. If you won't talk to me about it then use this." She looks at the journal in her hand and gives me puzzled look. "It's a dream journal. Just write it down and maybe it will make it better. I swear I will never read it unless you tell me I can."

She clutches it to her chest and grabs a pen off her night side table and starts to write furiously in it. She writes nonstop for about 10 minutes and doesn't look up once. She slams the book shut and puts it in the drawer of her table. "Promise me you won't read it Dean."

I extend my hand and she shakes it. "I promise I will never ever read it unless you let me." She smiles and gets out of the bed and gives me hug. "Thanks I think it will help." I'm glad I got it for her. I hope it helps.

a/n I am going to be jumping around years a bit to start off. Hope it doesn't frustrate you too much there's just a lot of time to cover! Are you guys still liking it or is it to confusing?


	4. Chapter 4

Two years later

Dean's POV

"Sam, Dean, you have 15 minutes to get over to Lara's. You promised her parents you would watch her tonight so they could go out for their anniversary. Get a move on it!" I hear Bobby yelling up the stairs at us.

I look around Sam's room and laugh. He keeps his room so freaking clean it's creepy. He has a bunch of sports and music posters on the walls and all of his books and lined up in alphabetical order and his bed is perfectly made. I'm just waiting on him to finish up in the bathroom.

Graduation was last night and the principal let me walk. I really didn't want or need to but I did it for dad. I know he's really proud of me and wanted me to walk. When they called my name I could hear Sammy and Lara screaming their heads off in the bleachers. They know what a miracle it was that I actually graduated. I looked back and dad was giving me a big grin. He looked so happy and proud.

The last two years haven't been that bad. I would do my work while I was hunting with dad and Sammy would help me on the phone at night. It's kind of embarrassing needing your little brother to help you with your homework but there are things I help him with, like asking his first girl out. I'd come back once a month turn in my work and take some tests. Got to hang out with some of the local girls, well I guess do more than hang out.

It wasn't has hard as I thought it would be without Sammy either. We talked every night and saw each other a few days a month. Every other month or so dad would pick him up and we would take him on a hunt nearby. He didn't complain about them he just did them. He and dad have been getting along so well it's almost hard to believe they are the same people that were at each other's throat. The first summer we took him with us all summer but last summer we only went with us for the first half.

Last night Lara insisted on throwing me a graduation party at Bobby's. Her parents, my dad, Sammy, Karen, Bobby, and some of the kids I meet at school came over. It was more for Lara than for me but I actually had fun. Hooked up with Sarah finally. It took my entire senior year but she finally agreed to hang out in the back of the impala with me.

Sam is finally ready and we head out to the impala. Dad gave it to me has birthday/ graduation present. I couldn't believe it when he gave me the keys. He also said I could try a few hunts on my own now if I really want to. I am going to try it out but I like hunting with him we are great team. We work in unison with each other and don't need to talk much. We just know what the other is going to do.

When we pull in at Lara's her parents are already at the door. I know they don't like me much but no one can say no to Lara so they tolerate me. They seem to like Sammy a lot more now that they have spent the last two years with him. Bobby says that Lara and Sammy are practically inseparable and hang out all the time. They stay over at each other houses, which apparently took Frank, her dad, months to agree too. He thought it was weird that his daughter's best friend would be a boy who is four years older than her but he's adjusted. Bobby insisted that Sam was a good kid and Lara gave him the silent treatment until she was allowed to hang out with him. I guess I can't blame them. They know what we are and what we do. I don't know if I'd want my little girl to hang with two older hunters. Frank and Betsy gives Sam a big hug when we come in, so I guess they are getting along a lot better than I thought.

"Money is on the table for pizza later." She says more to Sam than to me. She looks up and yells. "Lara the boys are here come down and say good night."

Lara comes jumping down the stairs and gives her mom and dad a big hug and kiss. "I love you both! Have fun tonight!" They are a very happy family and the love they feel for each other is obvious in the easy way they give each other hugs and kisses. We all stand at the door and watch them leave then we head back inside. Lara gives me a devious look. "Did you get the goods?" She asks me while she runs over to the TV.

I hold up the tapes. "Of course I did. But I swear to god if you tell your parents I let you watch this they will hate me more than they do now and will probably ban you from ever seeing again. And no amount of water works on your part will fix that." She gives me a smile and I hand her the tape.

Sam gives me an anxious smile. "What did you do Dean?" I smile and plop down on the couch and Lara comes back and snuggles in between us. When the opening credits start Sam moans loudly. "Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Really Dean? Like her nightmares aren't bad enough already?"

Lara elbows him in the stomach. "I will be fine Sam. I want to see it and I promise I won't get scared or cry. And I don't have nightmares." She says quietly at the end with a pout. We try not to mention it too much but she still does have them, almost every night. They are one of the few things that actually scare me. Demons, vampires, shape shifters all have nothing on a 10 year old girl who wakes up screaming in her sleep. Sometimes if you don't wake her up enough she talks in these menacing voices saying horrible things. I have eight more years till she tells me what's going on with her.

Half way through the movie I call for pizza. They bring us two large pizza's one veggie for Sam and a meat loves for me. Lara takes a bit of both. She's true to her word and she doesn't get scared or cry in the movie. To my amazement she actually yells at the characters not to be stupid and laughs when they do something so obviously stupid that they get themselves killed.

When the movie and its sequel are done I look down at my watch and it's about 12. She was supposed to be in bed 30 minutes ago; her parents don't need any other reason to hate me. "Ok squirt time for bed." She rolls her eyes at me and I follow her upstairs.

"I'm not five anymore Dean, you don't have to call me squirt." She says slightly disgruntled at me. Sam laughs, "He still calls me Sammy and I'm taller than him now so don't even bother trying to change his mind."

I give him a playful hit. "You're only taller than me because you must have taken steroids. Now get your ass in bed." I notice that she has the dream journal next to her bed. I've been true to my word and never read it but it kills me every time I see it. Every question I have about what she sees is in that book.

She brushes her teeth and gets into bed. Sam has a sleeping bag set up on her floor and he goes to bed without fighting me. He knows if he doesn't Lara will throw a fit and we'll both loose and she'll stay up. When her parents come back I'll get him up and we'll head home.

I sit on the couch watching late night TV waiting for them to come home. They were just going out for their anniversary I am kind of surprised it's taking them this long, it's already 2 and they don't strike me has the lets go to the bar and dance all night kind of couple.

Knock, Knock I hear at the door. I jump up and answer it. Why are they knocking they have keys? I open the door and there is a cop at the door. "Is this the home of Betsy and Frank Maywin?"

I shake my head yes. "Yea I'm Dean I'm watching Lara while her parents are out." The cop gives me a nervous frown and looks down at his clipboard. "I'm sorry to tell you this but they both passed away tonight around 11pm. They were in a car crash and died instantly."

The air is knocked out of my lungs. Her parents are dead. They were just here a few hours ago. "Are you sure officer?" He shakes his head yes. "My partner is good friends with them and indentified the bodies. She has an aunt and uncle she can stay with right?"

I shake my head yes. He leaves and I shut the door and I'm in a daze. How is this possible? I look up stairs. What do I do? I go over to the phone and dial Bobby's number. On the second ring Karen picks up. "Karen I need to talk to Bobby it's an emergency." She quickly hands the phone over. "Bobby it's Dean. The cops were here and Lara's parents were killed in a car crash. I need you guys to come over right now."

"Mommy? Daddy?" I hear at the door to the kitchen. I look over and Lara is standing there in her pajamas with tears in her eyes. I run over to her and knell in front of her. "I'm really sorry Lara." She looks at me and instead of bursting into tears she passes out.

Lara's POV

It's been a month since my parents died. I can't speak, I can't eat, I can't sleep. I can't do anything. I just sit in my room at Uncle Bobby's and Aunt Karen's holding on to Suzy. I thought I had retired her but since that night she has been in my arms.

I sat through the funeral. The priest kept trying to talk to me but I refused to look at him. What does he know about heaven? I have two angels that can tell me anything I need to know. It was a rainy day when they put them in the ground. I'm glad they are together at least. It would have been too hard on them if they were separated. Dean helped me put a note and a picture into each other their coffins. I wanted them to have pictures of us with them and I wanted them to know how much I miss them and love them.

Dean and Sam take turns sitting with me but I don't talk. Uncle Cassie and Uncle Gabe have both stayed with me every moment since that night. They stand over my bed and wake me up before the nightmares get to be too much. They let me sit in their laps and cry whenever I want too.

I've heard them all talking. Uncle Bobby and Aunt Karen have adopted me and I am going to live here from now on. They packed up my stuff from my room at home and moved it in here. I put it all back in their boxes. I can't see it right now. Aunt Karen let out a little shriek when she came back into the room and everything was packed up. Dean gave her a hug and helped her out of the room and thankfully explained that I had done.

How can they be gone? They were only gone for a few hours. How did they just die? I want them back so badly it makes me sick to my stomach. Sammy is sound asleep at the end of my bed and Uncle Gabe and Cassie are standing next to me. I look at Uncle Gabe. "Why didn't you save them Uncle Gabe?" It's the first I've spoken in a month.

He frowns at me and gives me a hug. "I can't change their paths sweet heart. I promise you that they are in heaven and looking down at you. They miss and love you very much darling." I cry into his shoulder and I hear my door open. I look over and Dean is standing there. He feels guilty because he's the one who told me about it. He didn't know I was standing there, but I'm glad it was him. I wouldn't have wanted anyone else to tell me.

He walks over to me bed and kisses my forehead. "How are you doing squirt?" He asks me not expecting an answer. "I'm sad Dean." He gives me a shocked look; I haven't spoken in a long time.

"I know you are squirt. It's hard to lose your parents. My mom died in a house fire when I was four and I still miss her. I know what it's like." He puts his hand on my heart. "It hurts right here doesn't it. You know you can talk to me about it anytime you need too."

I start to cry again. "But I can't! You are going to be leaving soon just like your daddy." I want to be strong and not cry but I can't. I lean into him and cry. Uncle Gabe and Uncle Cassie step back, I still haven't told the Winchesters about them and they made me promise not to.

He pets my head. "How about this, I won't leave until you tell me I can." I look up at him not quite believing him. "When you're ready I'll leave but not before then. I promise." I relax, he promised that means he'll do it.

"Do you think your mommy is with my parents right now?" I hope she is. Dean's mom seems like she would a sweet lady and I want my parents to have someone nice talking to them around right now.

He smiles. "I bet she is. She's showing them all the good spots to hang out and making sure they are adjusting."

That's good. I want them all to be together. I push back and pull my covers back. "Will you stay with me till I fall asleep? Make sure I'm safe?" I ask him hopefully.

He picks Sam up and puts him in the bed next to me and pulls the covers back over me and sits at the end of the bed on my side because Sam is so tall now there is no room for him at the end on his side. "Of course I will. You go to sleep I'll make sure safe."

I fall asleep easily for the first time in a month. I know he won't let anything happen and will wake me up if the angels forget too. I snuggle into Sam's side and clutch Suzy. "I miss you mommy and daddy." I whisper to them has I close my eyes.


	5. Chapter 5

Sam's POV

I don't know how Lara pulled it off but she somehow got Karen and Bobby to let me have a huge birthday party at the house for my 16th birthday. They are letting me have boys and girls over even though all the girls have to leave by 11.

"Sam get your ass out here! I want to give you your gift before you douche bag friends come over!" Dean yells from the front porch. Lara is so excited she can hardly stand still. She is jumping up and down at the front door anxiously waiting for me.

"CLOSE YOUR EYES SAM!" She yells at me has she drags me out onto the porch. I obediently keep my eyes close while I let my best friend drag me outside. She guides me down the stairs, "OPEN THEM!" She screams out.

"Holy shit Dean! This is awesome!" I say in shock to my brother. I knew he would fix me up some kind of wheels I just figured they would be some trashed Honda civic from before I was born. In front of me is a relatively new black ford bronco. It's perfect. I can get all my friends in it and store all my sports and class stuff in the back.

"You needed wheels Sammy and Lara and I decided this suits you. She helped me put it together." I look at Lara and give her a big hug. "You guys are seriously the best." She smiles and opens the front door and I climb in.

I love living in South Dakota, I've already had a legal drivers permit for 6 months and I'll be getting my license soon enough and I will be able to go anywhere I want too. Dad couldn't make it but I'm not too surprised. He is usually pretty busy.

"You guys going to stay for the party?" I ask them hopefully. It's rare that my friends get to meet my brother and Lara is just as close with most of them has I am since she is always around, perks of a small school.

Dean shrugs and looks at Lara who is pleading with him with her eyes. "We'll stay for a bit then I'll take the squirt out and you and your friends can hang out." At least he'll stay for a bit.

Karen and Lara had been preparing food for days. They have homemade pizzas, wings, burgers, hot dogs, and potato salad set up for the party. Not to mention a huge birthday cake. It takes about an hour but all of my friends, which is most of the school, have shown up and the party is in full swing.

The guys can't get over how awesome my new car is and the girls can't seem to stop flirting with Dean. He seems to be eating it up even though I know he's not dumb enough to try to hook up with a high school girl.

Lara is hanging out with my most of my soccer team by the bronco. She goes to all my games and brings food to practices so they all know her and treat her like a little sister. Somewhere along the line she became the unofficial mascot/cheerleader. She gets along great with them since she is such a tom boy. They have the hood up and she's showing them all the things that she and Dean did to the engine. "We supped up the engine. This baby will be going faster than any other SUV out there. It will make OJ Simpsons chase look like the car was a turtle. Not to mention the suspension he can take this thing out like it's a hummer." I try to stifle a laugh. She does love her cars.

I walk over to her and she gives me a big smile and hug. "Happy birthday Sam." She says quietly just to me. I hug her back. "Thanks Lara, this party is all you."

She smiles up at me and heads back to the house. She never says anything but she knows she is a lot younger than everyone and wants me to have time with them. She knows she's still my best friend at the end of the day and doesn't get all clingy when I want to hang out with my other friends.

Dean catches my glance and smiles at me. He's still surrounded by jail bait but he slowly starts to brush them off and walk over to me. "I think I'm going to take Lara and head out. We'll be back later tonight. I'll crash in your room since Bobby said a bunch of the guys are going to be staying over in the living room tonight."

"Thanks for coming Dean. I'm really glad you got to spend my birthday with me. And the car is totally awesome." He slaps my back and heads inside after Lara. He's good with her. He has never once messed up and even slipped about what's out there. This is good because none of us want her to be scared of the world.

Dean's POV

It's so crazy to see Sam so adjusted and normal. I just figured he would end up like me, but this life is best for him. I can tell by the way he seems to flourish in it. I climb the stairs and look in on Lara. "Hey squirt you ready to go?" She rolls her eyes at me and puts down her dream journal. "What you doing?" I ask pointing to it.

She shrugs her shoulders. "Just putting in something that I forgot about last night." I frown, last night wasn't a great one. Luckily I heard Sam get up and shake her out of it around 2 am. "Hey Dean, can we go to the movies?"

I shake my head. "Sure thing squirt." She punches me in the arm. "So you want to watch Final Destination or Bless the Child?" She has a sick love for horror movies and that's about all she will watch now.

"Freaky kid wins any day so Bless the Child." We run out of the house before I can get stopped by any of the girls in Sam's class and head to the theater. Watching Lara watch a horror movie is one of the funniest things I ever get to see. She gets so into it and gets so mad when she doesn't agree with what the characters are doing. Some of the people around us get a bit irritated but one glare from me keeps them quiet. Lara loves food. She might rival me in my love for food and insisted that we get the largest popcorn at the theater with the largest drink too. At point she almost spills the drink all over me but she quickly catches it. Girl has natural hunter reflexes.

After the movie we head out to a dinner nearby to get some desert. The waitress comes over and hands us the menus and it takes me a minute but I remember her. "Hey Sarah, long time no see. How are you been doing?" The last time I saw her she was sprawled out naked in the back of my car after graduation.

She starts to blush, she must remember the same thing I do, and smiles at me. "Well it if it isn't Dean Winchester. I'm doing good. Just got back for the summer and I'm working here this summer trying to save up some money for school. What brings you into town?"

"My little brother's 16th birthday, that's one I couldn't miss. He's having his party tonight back at the house so I took Lara out to escape the smell of stinky teenage boys." I hear Lara chuckle across the table but Sarah doesn't look over at her.

"Well if you want to escape babysitting duty call me up later. My shift is done in an hour." She then turns around trying to shake her ass for me has she walks away.

Lara gives me a really pissed off look. "Babysitting duty my ass! I'm smarter than that bitch!" I laugh and look over my menu.

Sarah comes back a few minutes later and I can tell by the look on Lara's face she has not forgiven her. "So what can I get you guys?" She asks smiling at me suggestively.

"I'll take the apple pie with ice cream on top please." I look over at Lara who is still pissed as hell. "I'll take the chocolate sundae with vanilla ice cream, extra whip creamed, and two cherry's please." Sarah doesn't look over at Lara but jots down her order and walks away.

"Can you believe her? She won't even look at me?" Lara gives me a pouty look and shots daggers at Sarah who is handing the order to the cook behind the bar.

It doesn't take her long to bring our order back. She puts large piece of pie in front of me with ice cream on it and puts a sundae in front of Lara. Oh this isn't going to go well. When she orders food she is specific because she can be a bit picky. "Hey Sarah." Lara says too sweetly.

Sarah finally looks over at Lara for the first time and smiles at her. "Maybe you should stop trying to eye fuck Dean here and learn how to write down an order. This is just chocolate ice cream with caramel sauce on it, none of which I asked for. So why don't you sashays you ass back to the kitchen and get me what I ordered which is a chocolate sundae with vanilla ice cream, extra whipped cream, and now for the mess up three cherries."

Sarah's face turns bright red and she looks at me for support but I just shrug my shoulders. "Squirt knows what she likes." Is all I offer her. She grabs the ice cream up and runs back to the kitchen. "Not to take away from how much fun that was but where did you learn to talk to like a sailor squirt."

Lara shots daggers at me with her eyes. "First of all stop calling me squirt. Second of all between you, your dad, and uncle Bobby there aren't many words I haven't heard." Fair enough, I probably do talk like a sailor in front of her without even thinking about it.

After the ice cream fiasco we head back Bobby's house. Sarah did slip me her number on the receipt but I don't plan on giving her a call. She was a bitch to Lara and I just won't stand for that. Squirt is like family to me and no one messes with my family. By the time we get back all the girls have been kicked out and the guys are outside kicking soccer balls and throwing footballs around. It's getting late and I assume they will all be crashing inside soon. Sam waves at us has he comes in and I head up to his room.

A/N I know this is a really really fluffy chapter but it's just like normal every day stuff which has to happen too.


	6. Chapter 6

Sam's POV

"God Dammit Sam! What the hell is your problem?" Lara yells at me has she slaps me across the face. I lunge at Steve Larkin again but Lara holds me back. "Stop it Sam!" She yells at me again. My date tries to grab my arm and pull me back to the dance floor but I shake her off. I keep myself between Lara and Steve and lunge at him again.

"Keep your fucking hands off my sister ass hole!"I yell at Steve has he holds his bloody nose. I've known the kid for years, he knows better. Lara rolls her eyes and pushes me away. "Dammit Sam he didn't do anything."

I look down at Steve and raise my fist again and he flinches. "That's bull shit Lara. I looked over and his hand was on your ass." She's only 14 and he's 17. I warned him if he touched her inappropriately I was going to kill him and he laughed and promised to be good. That's the only reason I let him take her to prom. I promised Dean and Bobby I would keep an eye on her and make sure nothing happened. So I made sure nothing happened and punched the ass hole out.

She hits me upside the head. "My hands were on his ass too you dumb ass!" I look down at her with a shocked expression. "Don't give me that look. It's not like you're not going to leave here and fuck your date." She looks over at Katie and gives her an apologetic look and throws her wrath back at me. Maybe I should have taken Dean up on his offer to chaperone the dance.

"Come on Steve we're leaving." She says helping him back to his feet. Once he stands he shakes his head and walks away from her. "Thanks Sam, he hates me." She throws her arms up in the air and runs out of the dance.

Great now she's pissed at me. She's only a freshmen and one of the juniors from my soccer team wanted to ask her to prom. He asked me first then he asked Bobby then he asked her. I thought he would be smarter than this but he wasn't. I thought I made it pretty clear to every guy in school that Lara was off limits. Dammit if she didn't have to be so fucking pretty I wouldn't have to fight guys off of her. Just last week I heard some sophomore talking about her in the halls and I had to beat the shit out of him. I would put a bag over her head and make her wear sweat pants if I thought I could make her. She doesn't act slutty or anything it's just she bloomed kind of early. She dresses like a tom boy even, always in jeans and flannel shirts, hell half of her clothes are mine and Dean's hand me downs, but they just keep flirting with her.

"Sorry Katie I need to go talk to her." She rolls her eyes at me and goes back to her friends at the other side of the room. She doesn't like how protective I am of her sometimes. She's my little sister and my best friend of course I am going to protect her.

It takes me about 30 minutes to find her. I find her outside sitting on the hood of the impala in her prom dress. Dean is sitting next to her with his arm around her shoulder and she is crying. Of course she called him. She always calls him when she's pissed off. I walk up quietly and I hear her complaining to him. "He didn't do anything Dean and your brother just hit him." When she calls me your brother I know I'm in trouble. Usually it's Sammy or our brother not your brother unless she is really pissed off.

Dean gives me a sympathetic look and thumbs up for hitting the guy but goes on consoling her. When she notices I'm there she jumps up to punch me. Bobby hasn't told her the truth about what's out there but he has started training her. She can shoot better than anyone I know and she can fight, girl is scrappy. I catch her fist has she throws it at me and she falls off balance. "God damned high heels!" She screams in rage.

"I'm sorry Lara. I may have overreacted but I kind of freaked when I looked over and he was touching your ass." Dean's face lights up. "Squirt you said he didn't do anything. He was touching you?"

Lara gives him a pissed off look and he quiets down letting her rage fly at me. "I'm not a baby and I can defend myself. Maybe I wanted him to touch me. No one else will because they are too afraid of you to even look at me! Between you, Dean, Uncle Bobby, and John always taking me to and from school no guys will even look at me let alone talk to me!" We just want to keep her safe. It was fine when she was in middle school but guys in high school have one thing on the brain and Dean and I can vouch for that.

"You ruined my night Sam! And I bought this stupid dress and shoes and even got my hair done for this. It took me two months of helping Uncle Bobby at the yard to pay for this stuff and I didn't even get to be at the dance for 2 hours." She does look nice. Karen took her dress shopping and they picked out a nice floor length dark blue dress and silver high heels. 

"I'm sorry Lara. I'll be at school in a few months and I promise I won't be able to do it again. I'll buy your dress for your next prom ok?" Dean groans behind her. We really don't like the idea of her fending for herself next year when I go. If the boys can't stop looking at her with me around I can only imagine how bad they will get when I go off to Stanford in the fall.

"It's bullshit Sammy! I should be able to deck your date for kissing you on the floor and touching your ass too!" Dean starts to laugh. She turns around and gives him her pissed off face and he tries to quiet down but keeps chuckling. "I don't think you need to hit Katie Lara." I say quietly.

She flings her hands up in the air. "What I don't get to defend your honor? I mean you sure have hell have kept mine in tact! I know you lost your virginity to Melissa two years ago in the locker room after your soccer game ass hole. Maybe I should go punch her too." Dean can't stop laughing and Lara turns around. "And you were hooking up with girls in this high school when I was still in diapers probably." She yells back at Dean.

Shit she has me there and she definitely has Dean. I give Dean a pleading look, he can usually calm her down, but he just keeps laughing. "Ok Lara, I think it's time you forgive Sammy. Did you even like this guy all that much?"

She tries to stay mad but ends up cracking a smile. "Not really." She says quietly. He pokes her. "It's just all my friends were going and no one would ask me because they were too afraid too. So I said yes." I can tell she is starting to calm down around the time she laughs at herself. "Anyways he was a horrible kisser."

My rage starts to boil again and I can see that Dean's is too. We are both ready to go back in there and kick some ass. She looks up and laughs. "I was kidding. Jesus you two calm down. I never kissed him or any guy for that matter. I just want to go home. Dean, will you take me back home please?" He agrees and gets back in the car.

Before she can leave I give her a hug. "I'm sorry I ruined your night Lara." I really meant it. She smiles at me. "I know you are you big jerk. And you if you're not I will make sure you are before the month is over." And she gets into the car. I head back into the dance and Katie is dancing with her friends and Steve is complaining to our soccer team.

I walk over to them and they all move away from Steve. "I'm sorry I punched you but you were touching my sister man." I look at the rest of my team and they shake their heads. Some of them have little sisters they know what I'm talking about. And most of them have known Lara since she was just a kid so they can be protective of her too. "So new rule, no one touches her, no one gets hurts." Everyone agrees and I know they will tell everyone at school on Monday. Not that it really matters cause I'll be graduating in a month anyways. I head back to Katie and slide in behind her. She pretends that she's mad for few minutes then kisses me and dances with me. Just like Lara predicted we hooked up after the dance.

I sneak into the house the next morning but Lara is sitting on the couch waiting for me. I wince when I see her and she gets up and hits my arm, hard. "That's for being an ass last night and for having sex with your date when mine couldn't even hold my hand." Then she gave me a hug. "And that's for caring and being a good big brother." She turns around and runs back up stairs. Sometimes I don't know what to do with teenage girls. They are just crazy.

Dean comes out of the den laughing at me. "She has been pissed all night. It took Bobby and I an hour to convince her not to go back out there and surprise you with a fist in the face." Well she's ok now that's all that matters. "I didn't get to say it last night but good job man. He shouldn't have been touching her ass especially not when you were around."

"Yeah he knew better. Well I am going to take a shower then go to bed, I'm exhausted." I say with a wink and Dean just laughs at me. When I get to the top of the stairs I peak in on Lara and she's laying out on her bed writing in her dream journal. Ever since Dean gave her one a few years back he gives her a new one for her birthday and she writes in it every morning once she wakes up.

Sometimes I wish she was still that five year old girl with the little mermaid room but she's not anymore. She's growing up and is going to be a woman soon. It's going to be hard to protect her from everything for much longer. I knock on the door and she looks up and waves me in. Her room matches her personality. It has light grey walls with white stencils all over the wall that reminds me of something from a palace. I think we saw the same pattern in a book once. Her bed is icy blue and all her furniture is white. It's feminine without being soft and pretty without being frilly. "I just wanted to apologize again Lara. But that guy is a jackass."

She laughs and makes room for me to sit with her on the bed. "I know he is I just wanted to go out on a date. You guys need to calm down I can take care of myself."

I shake my head. "I know you can but you're always going to be my little sister and I'm always going to protect you." She laughs at me and kicks my side and I get up and head out. I look back and she is laying in her bed writing in her diary again.

*One Year Later*

Lara's POV

What the hell is that noise? I don't want to move but I know I should. The neon letters from the clock say its 5:45am and the light coming into my room tells me that it's almost dawn. I look over half expecting to see Uncle Gabe or Uncle Cassie. But they stopped watching over me. A few months after my parents died they sat me down and explained that I would be safe with Uncle Bobby and Aunt Karen and they weren't going to be around has much anymore. I cried for days but they said they had to leave. They promised to visit me sometimes, but they haven't. Sometimes I wonder if I dreamt ever seeing them or maybe they were just figments of my imagination. The only time I think they might still be around is when I feel a jolt go through me and I wake me up from a nightmare. Sometimes I can still smell them in the room. Uncle Gabe always smells like candy and Uncle Cas smells like the ocean. When I smell them I know I didn't imagine them and I just know they were watching over me.

Jesus Christ what is that screaming! I get out of bed and throw on my sleeping shorts. I hate sleeping with things on my legs and normally just sleep in a t-shirt. I look outside and I see Dean's car. When did he get here?

I head downstairs and follow the stifled screams. Uncle Bobby left a few days ago to help John with some business and it's just been me and Aunt Karen. I walk into the kitchen and I am not prepared for what I see.

Dean is laying on the table blood soaked and screaming. His looks like it has been ripped open by a mountain lion and he has large gashes coming down his chest. His face looks like he has gone nine rounds with a grizzly bear but his leg is even worse. His pants leg is soaked and I can see the bone sticking out through his leg. It's just a nub of white sticking out of a sea of red. I feel myself start to pass out but I shake it off and run over to them. "What the hell is going on?" I yell at them.

Aunt Karen looks at me and hands me a towel and I put pressure on Dean's chest wounds. "I got in a car accident. Sorry to wake you up." He says through clenched teeth. I can tell he is full of shit but I'll call him out on it later. His car is out front and it looks perfect like normal.

"Dean I can try to stop the bleeding on these gashes but we are going to need to take you to hospital. I can't do anything about your leg and these gashes are really deep." He groans but he knows she's right. Aunt Karen looks up at me and I grab the medical kit about the fridge. Uncle Bobby is a real survivalist and makes me learn how to shot guns, fight, and stitch up wounds. I open the kit and pull out a bottle of hydrogen peroxide and hand it to her. I quickly rip off undo his belt and rip it off his pants refastening it around his leg above the bone and tying it tight. I need to stop the bleeding there too. "Dean this is going to hurt." She points to top drawer and I pull out a wooden cooking spoon.

"Open your mouth Dean." I say gently. He does and I put the spoon in and he bites down on it. I put my hand on his forehead trying to keep him calm. When she pours it over his chest I can see the pain in his eyes. For a moment I think he's going to pass out but he doesn't. I grab clean towels and try to keep up with my Aunt and get the blood cleared away. It's just so much blood and I can see down to his muscles in some spots.

Once she gets it has clean has she can she picks up all the gauze we have. "I need you to let me wrap this up. It's going to hurt like a bitch when they take it off but it's too much for me to stitch up." She says sadly. He tries not to scream out and keeps biting on the spoon. I hold his hand and he tries not to squeeze too hard but I can tell he is in pain.

I have no clue what could have done this to him. He keeps going in and out of consciousness but Aunt Karen gives me reassuring glances. Once we wrap him up Aunt Karen points to her purse and I grab the keys. She gets his left side and I help him on the right and we start to move him towards the door. Shit his shoulder is dislocated. I have fixed Uncle Bobby's before so I know what to do. Aunt Karen braces him. "I'm sorry about this Dean." And I pop his shoulder back into place. He lets out a little groan then seems to pass out again. I shake him and we try to move again.

He can't even move his good leg. He is really out of it. "Come on Dean I need you to move. We gotta get you to hospital." I tell him. He groans slightly and tries to help.

There is a loud crash I look up and someone is barreling through the front door. I recognize the look on this man's face. I've seen it on TV and movies. It's evil, he wants us dead. After I notice the look of death in his eyes I am surprised to see he is naked. Not a stitch of clothing on him. He is covered in blood and dirt and has a few scratches on his body. His hands look strange though. They are curled in and look like claws. Dean drops his arm and tries to grab his gun but can't seem to get his hand around it. Years of Uncle's Bobby training kicks in. I grab the gun and pick it up. "SHOOT HIM LARA!" Dean yells out.

I take aim, one chest shoot, one head shot, just like Uncle Bobby taught me, always double tap Lara you never know if you'll miss the heart. The man goes down. I drop the gun and look over at Aunt Karen who is shocked. Dean is barely conscious. "We got to get him to the hospital hurry!" I yell to Aunt Karen.

We get to her car and I get in back with Dean while she races to the hospital. I can't think about the man I just killed. I can worry about that after we get Dean help. Am I going to go to jail? Fuck what did I do? I had to do it I couldn't let that man kill Dean, well I guess mean kill all of us. I look down at Dean and he is passed out on my lap. The blood is soaking through the gauze and I am covered in it. It looks like I have take in a bath in his blood and his skin is getting really pale. He is going to die soon if we don't get him help. We pull up and Aunt Karen comes back with help. "He was hurt by a wild animal. He was out back in our salvage yard and came in like this." Why is she lying?

They carry him into the ER and take him into surgery. He's lost a lot of blood and his leg is really fucked up. A sit in the waiting room in a daze. I look down and I am still in my pajamas and I am covered in blood. I start to panic then I remember it's not mine, it's Dean. God what if he dies? I don't know how long it has been but I look up and John and Uncle Bobby are standing in front of me. "Uncle Bobby I killed someone." I say then it goes black.

When I wake up I am back at home in bed. I jump out of bed frantically and I see Uncle Gabe standing next to my bed. I latch on to him and start to cry. "Uncle Gabe!" I scream out. He grabs me into a hug and rubs my back and lets me cry it out in his shoulder. "Uncle Gabe Dean might be dead and I killed a man last night."

He continues to sooth me. "Darling you may have killed something but it wasn't a man last night. Your family is going to explain it to you later. I just wanted you to know that we are here, evil may be real but so is good. Now sweet heart I want you to get dressed and go talk to your Uncle Bobby."

I look down and I see that I am cleaned up. Aunt Karen and Uncle Bobby must have cleaned me up last night. I grab my jeans and throw them on and pull a sweat shirt that Sammy sent me from Stanford. "Will you be here when I get back?" I ask him scared of his response.

He shakes his head. "You may not see me sweetheart but I am always watching you. Your Uncle Cassie is too. We miss you and love you very much darling. Now go downstairs." He disappears in front of my eyes and I catch another sob.

I run down the stairs and Uncle Bobby is sitting at the table. "Is Dean dead?" I ask him frantically. He shakes his head no and grabs my hands and pulls me down to the table. "The doctors have been in surgery with him for hours but he is alive because of you darling. We need to talk about last night."

I shake my head no. "We can, just not now. I need to see him for myself. Make sure he's alive. Have you called Sammy?" Shit how did I forget to call Sam. That should have been my first instinct.

"John called him last night. Everything is alright Lara." I stand up and grab his car keys and throw them at him. "I want to go to the hospital now Uncle Bobby."

He reluctantly stands up and we head out. I don't want to think about the dead body that should have been on my floor this morning and where it went. I need to make sure Dean is ok. He's one of my two best friends and if he's not ok I am going to lose my shit. God I hope Sammy comes. I need him right now.

I practically run to Dean's room and I am relieved to see he is alive. He is pale, asleep, and has tubes and wires all around his body but he is alive. I can see the rise and fall of his chest. John jumps out of the chair when he sees me and runs over and pulls me into a tight hug. "Thank you for saving my boy Lara. I will always be in your debt."

What is he talking about I saved Dean. I killed someone I didn't save anymore. I hold him back though. He lets go and I walk over to Dean's bedside. I pick up his hand and start to cry again. "You better wake up Winchester or I am going to kick your ass."

A/N so what do you think? Like it? Hate it? Review about it.


	7. Chapter 7

Dean's POV

God damn fucking werewolf got my fucking leg and I don't even want to think about what that mother fucker did to my fucking chest. He just got the upper hand and ripped me to fucking shreds. Jesus Christ where the hell is the pain pills when you need them.

"Dean are you awake?"

I roll my head over and open my eyes. "What the fuck Lara. How did you get here? Am I dead?" I shot up in bed and look around. Lara is standing next to my bed with her big eyes opened wide. My dad is standing at the end of the bed with Sam and Bobby and Karen are by the window. "I'm in a hospital aren't I?" I ask kind of stupidly.

Lara chuckles and looks at Sam. "I would ask the doctor if he had any brain damage but he's normally this stupid."

Shit if they are all here and I'm in the hospital that means the werewolf got me pretty bad. Dammit I don't even know if I killed it. They all know the drill so that means they should have told Lara I was in an accident. "How you doing Dean?" She asks me.

I shake my head and look at the morphine drip. "I'd feel better with more morphine and a hot nurse but hell a car accident won't get me down."

She shakes her head and rolls her eyes at me and sits back in her seat. I can tell she is pissed off. I look at Sam and he gives me a warning glance. Oh fuck. I remember some of it now. I showed up at Bobby's but he wasn't there. Karen and Lara patched me up and got me here. That means that Lara saw my car and knows it's fine. Shit.

Bobby moves over to Lara and puts his hand on her shoulder. "Now that Dean is awake we need to talk darling. You said once he did we could." She looks at him and grabs his hand and starts to cry. I try to sit up. If she's crying it probably has something to do with something my dumbass did but Sam pushes me back down.

"I need to talk to him alone for a moment first." Lara says through her tears. Bobby tries to say no but she gives him a pouty look with tears coming down her face and he can't deny her. Not that any of us can. "Ok, we'll be in the hall just come get us when you're done."

They all file out and Sam tries to tell me everything in a glance but to be honest I'm too stoned from the morphine to understand what he is saying. Once they leave Lara just sits there quietly for a few minutes. I can see the gears turning in her head has she sits there. "How long have I been out?" I ask trying to break the silence.

She looks over at me and her eye lashes have tears clinging to them. "One week. I'm surprised you haven't woken up. I haven't left this stupid room and I have been screaming my head off every time I close my eyes."

Once again I try to sit up but she stands up and pushes me back down. "Why have you been screaming? Is it the normal dreams?"

She shakes her head and actually laughs. "No Dean, these were not the normal dreams. I killed someone. I killed them with your gun at Uncle Bobby's. Based on the fact he looked right at you with hate and violence in his eyes I assume he was the one that did this to you. So do you want to explain to me why you said you were in a car accident? Or why Aunt Karen told the doctors you were mauled by a wild animal?"

Shit, we have worked so hard to keep this from her. "Lara, I think you should bring them back in." She shakes her head no almost violently. "No Dean, I want to hear it from you. Not them, you."

"What do you want to know?"

"Everything."

After three hours of trying to explain everything I know about the supernatural world and trying to convince her she didn't' kill a man but a dangerous werewolf, she decided to finally let them all back in the room. Sam can tell by just looking at her she knows. He runs over to her and gives her a tight hug and she pushes him back. Bobby, Karen, and dad take the hint and stand back. "Where the hell do you all get off lying to me my entire life? Is anything you guys told me real?"

Bobby looks like she hit him in the stomach. "Darling we were trying to protect you. It's what your parents wanted. I tried to tell them to tell you but they wanted you to grow up normal. So I respected their wishes."

Her rage is taking over her body and I can tell she is going to lose it soon. "They are dead! Their wishes don't fucking matter anymore. You should have told me! Especially you Uncle Bobby. You know what I have seen how could you keep this from me? What happened when I was a kid? I heard you mention it once to Aunt Karen but I wrote it off has something stupid or silly." What does she mean what you she has seen?

Bobby lets out a loud sigh. He looks at John, Sammy, and I and pleads with us with his eyes not to freak out. "Karen was possessed when you were a toddler. You somehow managed to exorcise her. I don't know how you did it but you did but I think you can guess how you did it." He gives her a knowing glace and she shakes her head in understanding. "That is when we found out about this world. Your parents freaked out and told me never to mention it to you. They didn't want you to know about this world."

"So what were you guys going to do if one of you died? Just tell me it was an accident?" I start to turn red and I can't look at her. She catches me and looks at Sammy who is doing the same thing. "Holy shit you guys were all going to lie to me. You had it planned out didn't you?" I can't look at her, she got us. She grabs my shoulders and shakes me. "Dean how could you? So what were you going to tell me if you all died?"

I look at Bobby and he shakes his head. "We had it planned out so we wouldn't give you mixed stories. If one of us died we had the story planned out. If dad died it was because he was mugged. If I died it was a car accident. For Sammy it was a brain aneurism. For Bobby he got in a bar fight and died. For Aunt Karen we weren't has worried but her back up story was she got hit crossing the road."

Her eyes started to fill with fresh tears. "Car accident? Really Dean? You thought I would handle another one of those?" And she runs out of the room. Sam tries to grab her but she hits him square in the jaw and dad holds him back from trying to go after her.

She doesn't come back into the room after she left. I'm in the hospital another week and I don't see her at all. Sammy had to go back to school and dad even left to go on hunt with the promise from Bobby that I can recover at his house. With my leg I won't be hunting anytime soon. Bobby says that Lara just goes to school and comes back. She hasn't spoken a word to anyone not even Sam when he left to go back. He says she screams in her sleep and he wakes her up but she kicks him out of her room before he can calm her down. We all messed up plain and simple.

I'm finally getting out of the hospital. Karen picks me up and gets me back home. She has me set up in the den since I can't do stairs. Lara isn't home when I get back and I can be thankful for that. I'm afraid to see her again after everything. We should have told her, we should never have lied to her.

By 11 pm she still isn't back. Bobby and Karen are pretending they aren't worried but I can see it written all over their faces that they are scared shitless. At around midnight I hear a knock on the front door and I hobble over to open the door. When I open it I don't see anyone. I step out on to the porch and no one is there, but it oddly smells like the ocean out here. I step out further and my foot hits something. I look down and it's Lara. I try to lean down but with my leg I can't. "Bobby! Lara is on the porch!"

She rolls over and starts to laugh. That is when I can tell she is drunk. Bobby comes out running out and looks down at her. She is wasted and laughing like a lunatic. He picks her up and carries her inside and drops her on the couch. "I'm going to bed. She'll have a fun morning." He says has he slams his bedroom door shut. I hear him and Karen fighting behind it.

Has predicted she is bowing down to the porcelain god come morning. By mid afternoon she has made it 10 feet from the bathroom and is lying on the couch. I come down and sit next to her. "Punishing yourself isn't going to help squirt."

She kicks me in my good leg and slowly lays down on me. "It just hurts Dean. It really hurts." I can see by her face she is in pain and it's not because of the alcohol. We hurt her.

"I'm sorry Lara. We didn't do it to hurt you. We wanted you to be safe and happy."

She shakes her head in my lap and I can tell she is about to start crying again. "Safe and happy. That's a funny idea. How can I be safe if I don't know what's out there? How can I be happy if you all are dead? I want you teach me."

"Teach you what Lara?"

"Everything. I want to know what you know. I want to do what you do." I look down at her and shake my head. "Don't you dare tell me no Dean. Not after you all lied to me. I want to know."

"Squirt if Bobby says you can I will but not without his permission." I can't go against him.

"Oh you will teach me everything."

Lara's POV

I knew he would cave. He caved quicker than I thought even. Since he has been on the mend he started teaching me small things. Exorcisms, lore, how to kill things, all the things he could on paper. Once he got better he started teaching me how fight, how to kill.

He knew I was pissed and did the one thing he knew that would gain my trust and make me forgive him. That was to give me what I wanted. I have forgiven him and did forgive him. He was just doing what Uncle Bobby, Aunt Karen, and my parents wanted him to do.

I stood outside his door every night to make sure he was ok while he was in the hospital. I wouldn't go in the room because I was still mad but I had to make sure he was alright. So I sat by the door has long as Uncle Bobby would let me making sure nothing came to get him in his sleep. Dean and Sam are two of the most important people in my life and I don't know what I would do if I lost one of them. I love them both so much that it hurts me to even think of a world without them in it.

"I hate knives Dean. Can't I just always have a gun?"

"No Lara you can't always have a gun. Do you know how often I actually use a gun? Barely ever! You have to be able to use anything around you. That includes knives, swords, stones, chairs, glass, hell even a pencil. You need to be able to kill with anything." I know he's telling me the truth. He told me what he has done and with what.

I grab the knife again and I try to attack him and in two moves I'm on my back again. "OK again." He yells at me helping me get to my feet.

When we're done I'm pretty bruised and sore. We have been telling Uncle Bobby and Aunt Karen that we are fixing up an old VW beetle convertible for me but I don't know how long I can hide the bruises from them. There's only so far into the summer I can pull off long sleeve shirts and jeans without them getting worried. Maybe I'll start up a sport just to have the excuse. We have actually worked on my car so it's not a total lie. We've completely redone the engine. This baby will be able to go 100 mph easily. He even helped me paint it. I wanted it fire engine red with tan leather seats and that's exactly what I got. I managed to convince him to help me put in a CD player with the condition that for my birthday he gets to fill my car with music so I don't listen to "any crap like Sammy." He still feels guilt about lying to me so he's trying to make it up to me where he can, which is fixing up my car and teaching me how to kill things.

I have been keeping one thing from Dean though, my angels. Not only their existence but that they have started to visit me again. They help me train. Uncle Gabe and Uncle Cassie are really talented warriors and have been teaching me how to use what they call an angel sword. They gave me one and told me to hide it and not let anyone see it. When they are done training with me they usually heal my bruises so no one sees them. They don't mean to hurt me they are just so much stronger and faster than me. I keep my sword hidden in the salvage yard in a trunk of a car that has been there since before I was born.

We limp back to the house, mostly because his leg is still recovering and I just got my ass handed to me. Aunt Karen is making dinner in the kitchen and Uncle Bobby is reading a book on some kind of Celtic Gods and I'm pretty sure on how to kill them. Sammy isn't coming home this summer because he got a job at school and it's a bit lonely not having him here. I thought I would get him back for the summer. "Uncle Bobby when can I go visit Sammy? I miss him!" I try to give him my best pouty face hoping he will fall for it.

Uncle Bobby looks at me and laughs. "I don't have the time to drive off to California on a whim sweet heart. You are going to have to wait until I have time."

I look over at Dean and try to guilt him into it. It's not like he doesn't miss his brother just as much as I do. "Please Dean. Take me to see Sammy." I can see him caving. He looks at Uncle Bobby and he shakes his head.

He puts his head in his hand and shakes his head. "Ok I will take you on a few conditions. Number 1 if I tell you to do something you do it. I don't want a fight about you going to some frat party the first night we are there. Number 2 I pick the music and the restaurants on the way there. And number 3 you will not even think about looking at alcohol. Rule number 4 I have final say on everything."

He still hasn't forgiven me for stealing a bottle of Uncle Bobby's vodka and getting plastered in the salvage yard a few weeks ago. "Deal, deal, deal, and deal! I'll go pack." I run up the stairs to call Sammy and to pack.


	8. Chapter 8

Dean's POV

How did I get roped into taking Lara on a road trip to California? Oh yea now I remember because that girl has all wrapped around her little finger. We pack up and I convince her to calm down enough to wait until morning. Sammy sounded really excited on the phone to have us coming out and he claims he has room for us at the apartment he is staying at this summer. There is a couch bed and one of his roomies is out of town for a few weeks so he has an extra room.

I'm not fully recovered yet but I am doing so much better. I can bend over and I can move my leg again which a few weeks ago wasn't even on the table. It only took Lara one week to convince me to teach her about hunting behind Bobby's back. On one hand I feel guilty lying to Bobby and Karen but on the other she does have the right to protect herself. I'm not dumb enough to think that I can keep this from them forever but I'm hoping I can be a few states away when they figure it out.

It's morning and I'm a bit sore. I have some ibuprofen and water next to my bed to take before I even try to move. I look at my clock and it says 7 am. Dear god it is early. From the living room I hear Lara jumping down the stairs. "Come on Dean it's morning we got to get a move on it!" I try to stifle a laugh. Nothing is going to keep her from Sammy much longer so I better get a move on it.

An hour later we have hit the road. Bobby made me swear on anything he could think of that I would keep her safe and Karen made us swear to call in 3 times a day. It's summer but even summer in South Dakota isn't too hot yet so we just roll down the windows and enjoy the day. She is scribbling away in her dream journal next to me in the car. She has on jeans to cover the many bruises and scrapes she has gotten the last few weeks on her legs and one of Sammy's old sports t-shirts with an even older flannel over it that may have been mine. When she's done scribbling she throws it in her bag and just stares out the window for a while.

"You doing ok over there squirt?" I ask her kind of worried because she is normally a complete chatter box.

She jumps at the sound of my voice, obviously lost in her own world. "Oh yea I'm fine. Just thinking about stuff."

"What you thinking about?" I know it probably has to do with hunting but maybe I'll get lucky and it will be a normal teenage problem like she has a crush on some boy.

Lara doesn't say anything for a minute and keeps looking out the window. "I want to do what you, Uncle Bobby, and John do."

Well so much for a normal problem. I think I would rather deal with the I love a boy talk than this one. "That is not an option squirt. I'm not teaching you this stuff for you to do it I'm teaching you to keep you safe. After high school you'll have college then you can start a real job just like Sammy. This life isn't good for anyone."

"That's not what I want Dean. I don't want college and a normal life like Sam. I want to do this. It's what I was meant to do I can feel it. I'm good at it. I can out shoot you and anyone else for that matter and I'm learning how to fight pretty well. I just want to be able to help."

I guess I took for granted that I never had to worry about Sammy wanting to do this life because he hated it. I never thought I'd have to convince someone not to follow this path. "You have a nice happy life ahead of you. This kind of life will just wear you down and put you in an early grave. You don't get to have a normal life with this kind of job. You don't get to have a lot of friends, a home, a family. Is that all stuff you think you can give up?"

She shrugs her shoulders at me. "You have friends, you have a home with us, and you have a family. Not a great argument. When I'm 18 I can make the decision myself you know."

"Not if I have anything to say about it. I'll tie your ass down in some college dorm somewhere and make you go to school." I say with a laugh.

She rolls her eyes at me and gives me a playful punch. "That's ridiculous Dean! I have three more years to change your mind and I will. I'll just be too good at it for you to say otherwise." I have no doubt that she will try her hardest to change my mind and I have no doubt that she will somehow convince us all to let her do what she wants and make us think it was our idea.

We drive long and hard the first day but I'm exhausted and can't keep my eyes open anymore. I'm still recovering from getting my ass handed to me. So maybe a trip to California and relaxing on the beach is just what I need to recover. I find the least sleazy motel I can find and pull over. We order a pizza but it doesn't take too long for us to be settled in bed.

Lara falls asleep fast and I do a quick check on the salt lines and fall asleep myself. "No, please, not this again! Please just stop!" I hear outside of my dream. It takes me a minute to realize it's not part of my dream just Lara's nightly nightmare.

I roll over, jump out of bed, and shake her awake. Her eyes flip open and she scans the room and I can see she is petrified. Once she feels secure she starts to relax and grabs her journal and starts to write furiously in it. "Want to talk about it?" I ask her knowing her answer.

"Not till I'm 18." Is all she says has a response. I roll over and try to go back to sleep but I can't until she turns off the light and goes back to sleep herself. After that day in the hospital where Lara told Bobby that she can't believe that he lied to her after what she had seen I have been trying to figure out what that meant. Maybe it's just to do with her aunt's possession. Maybe all of these horrible dreams steam from that one incident. It makes since. Even if she was a toddler something like that is bound to creep into your subconscious. And it was only a few weeks ago that she killed her first creature too.

She sleeps calmly throughout the night and we wake up early and head out. I drive a little faster than most and take a lot of back roads to avoid getting caught. We are pulling up to Sam's apartment late that night. Lara is so excited she can hardly keep still in the seat next to me.

When we pull up we grab out bags and Lara goes running to the apartment entrance and rings the bell. Within a few moments I hear Sam's big body running down the stairs and in a flash he is out the door grabbing Lara is a fierce hug spinning her around. He was really upset when he left after I got injured and she wouldn't even say goodbye to him so I know he has missed her. "I can't believe you got Bobby to let Dean bring you out here! You're going to love it here!" Lara gives him a quick kiss on the cheek and he puts her back on her feet and walks over to me giving me a one armed man hug. "Hey Dean, I'm really glad you came."

I smile and we head upstairs. "I'm staying here this summer since the dorms are closed. I live with 4 other guys. The couch bed is open and my roommate next to me is out of town for a week so one of you can take my room and I'll take his." We open the door and I see beer cans all over the place and three guys looking back at us. In one moment I can tell we might have a problem. Their eyes linger on Lara. They all do an all over body glance and I see them make eye contact and smirk. They are undressing her with their eyes and I am about to kill someone.

"Lara will take your room." I say quickly. Like hell I am going to let her sleep out here with those morons. Don't they realize she's 15? I know Sammy wouldn't be dumb enough not to give them the low down before we show up.

He leads us to his room and we throw our stuff down and head back to the living room. Sam points to his roommates. "That is Clint, Jack, and Mike. We all have internships or jobs this summer so they won't be around much during the day. I took a few days off but for the most part you guys will need to entertain yourselves." That won't be a problem I have heard that the girls are easy to get out here.

There's a knock on the door and Sam's face lights up and he runs to answer it. I can't see who is behind his frame but it sounds like a woman. When he turns around I'm surprised to see a lovely blonde behind him. He grabs her hand and brings her into the room. "Dean, Lara, this is Jess, my girlfriend." Lara and my jaws drop but we recover quickly. Little bro apparently does have some game.

Jess runs over to Lara and gives her a tight hug. "I have heard so much about you Lara. I am so excited to finally meet you." Then she turns around and gives me a hug. "Same goes Dean, your brother loves telling me about all the stuff you get into."

She puts a bag down on the kitchen table. "I brought dinner over for you guys because I knew that Sam wouldn't think ahead like that. I have some left over spaghetti and meat balls." That get's my attention. She plates us our meals and we all sit down.

Lara and her are chattering away about God knows what so I get a moment with Sam. "Good work Sammy. I didn't know you had it in you." He turns red and shakes his head. "She is pretty amazing."

"Can I please Dean?" Lara asks me from my other side.

"Please what?" I ask back.

"Jess said she would take me shopping and get some clothes for California weather while I'm here. Can I please go with her?" She is just sucking up to me now. Rule number 4 though I have final say on what does down.

I look at Lara's pleading face and then at Jess. "Fine, just don't get anything that would make Bobby mad." Lara lets out a squeal of excitement and faces Jess again and they start to talk a mile a minute.

After our late dinner Jess heads out and Lara retires into Sam's room for the night and it's just Sam and I left. "So how has she been doing?" Sam asks me kind of worried.

I let out a long sigh. I can lie to everyone else but I need someone to talk to about this. "She's doing fine during the day but her nightmares have gotten worst. I assume it has to do with the shooting. And Sam…" I pause for a moment and look at him kind of worried about his reaction. "I'm teaching her how to hunt."

His eyes get large and I can see the anger go over his face. "What the fuck Dean! That is totally irresponsible and stupid!"

"I know it is trust me. But she wanted to know how to defend herself and she convinced me to teach her. I haven't let her go on any hunts, and I won't, but I'm teaching her. And to be honest she's good. Well not good, great actually. She is a natural. She can shoot better than anyone I have meet and she is turning her body into a really deadly weapon."

Sam shakes his head in frustration and lets out a moan. "Dean what if she gets hurt? Does Bobby know?"

I don't look at him for a moment. I have been worried about her getting hurt every day. "I have thought about it and with all of us and Bobby around her she needs to learn how to protect herself so she doesn't get hurt. And no, Bobby doesn't know."

Sam punches my arm. "Are you stupid or do you just have a death wish? Bobby is going to kill you when he finds out!"

"I know he will. So I am just hoping he doesn't find out till I am very very very far away." Sam rolls his eyes at me and gets up to head to roommate's room. "Dean just don't let anything happen to her. If something does I'm taking it out on you." I know he's honest about his threat. Lara and him are ridiculously close and he would never let anything happen to his best friend.

I get ready for bed and before I can fall asleep I hear screaming coming from Sam's room. It's Lara, again. I run in and shake her awake. When she wakes up she latches on to me. "I killed him Dean. I shot him in the chest and face."

The only time she tells me about her dreams if it's about killing the werewolf. I'm just glad she'll talk about that. I rub her back. "I know squirt. The first kill is always the hardest. But he was evil and he killed a lot of people. You did the right thing. Why don't you try to fall back asleep ok? I'm right outside on the couch if you need me."

She shakes her head in agreement and slowly lays back down on the pillow and tries to fall back asleep. For the first time I notice that she has Suzy in her hand. She hasn't had Suzy out since her parents died. This must be harder on her then I ever imagined. How could I be so dumb? She killed someone, no shit she is going to be a bit fucked up. "Do you want me to stay until you go to sleep squirt?" I ask her softly.

She grabs my hand and shakes her head. "Please." She says full of fear. She scoots over and I get into the bed next to her and wait till she falls asleep. Poor kid has been through a lot. My first kill I was 7 but I knew what I was killing and why I was doing it. Dad was on a hunt and I was watching Sammy at a hotel, he was only three at the time. A shape shifter attacked us and I shot him without even blinking. I called dad immediately and he had me pack up Sammy and we got him out of the room before he could see the body. Dad took care of the body but I knew I did the right thing. I couldn't let anything happen to my little brother and I did what needed to be done. Lara didn't know what she was killing. She went a week thinking she killed a man since she wouldn't let them talk to her about it until I woke up. That's a long time to go thinking you committed murder. I know she understands now that he was evil and wasn't human but it's hard to tell yourself that in your sleep. It's the one place that some of my hunts come back to haunt me. They don't bother me to much because when I wake up I know I did the right thing but they aren't pleasant.

a/n if you like this story please review!


	9. Chapter 9

Lara's POV

I haven't spent much time around other girls in my life. There are my friends at school but a lot of them are surprisingly boys, who wouldn't dare look or touch me, but they are boys. So my knowledge of girly stuff is kind of limited. Which is why I am so excited to go shopping with Jess today. I also want to get a feel for her. She seems really nice but I want to know her better.

"Lara do you have some money with you?" Dean asks me has I finish up in the bathroom.

"Yeppers, I have some money I saved helping Uncle Bobby at the salvage yard." Dean pulls out his wallet and gives me a 20 dollar bill. "I don't need your money Dean."

He rolls his eye at me. "Just take it, you might need food or something while you're out."

I give him a quick hug. "Thanks. What are you going to do today?" He gives me a mischievous smile. "I think I am going to go evaluate the woman situation in California. So don't be surprised if I'm not home when you get back, but Sammy should be."

The door opens and I go running into the living room to see Jess coming in the front door with a big smile on her face. "You ready to go?" She asked me.

I shake my head yes and wave by to Dean. I grab my cheap canvas purse, throw it over my shoulder and head out. Jess is really beautiful and I feel a little frumpy next to her. She has on a beautiful blue sundress with white sandals and I'm wearing a worn out white tank top with even more worn out jeans. I know Aunt Karen and Uncle Bobby don't have a lot of money so I try not to buy too many new clothes to put a stress on them. I wear a lot of Sam's and Dean's old t-shirts and I wear my jeans till they are in tatters.

Jess looks over at me and smiles. "I am so glad to finally get to spend time with you. I have heard so much about you I feel like I know you. Sam talks about you all the time. In fact you're kind of the reason we meet in the first place."

I give her a confused look. "How was I the reason you guys met?"

Jess chuckles "Sam's roommate was a friend of mine from high school. We would meet up sometimes and chat and he kept telling me about his roommate. He said Sam was a cool guy but every day at 5 he would call his little sister and talk on the phone for an hour with her. He said no matter what he was doing he made sure to call her at 5. I thought it was really sweet. So I made sure I meet him. Anyone who can be that sweet to their little sister should be a good guy and I was right."

I smile thinking about our conversations. Despite the fact I don't need much help anymore he does call me every night at 5 his time under the guise of doing homework. Even when I was mad at him he would call even if it just went to voice mail. When I first found out about everything and he went back to school I had a weeks worth of voice mails that were all left at exactly 7pm for me. "You know were not actually related right?" I ask Jess.

She smiles and shakes her head. "Yea Sam said you guys meet when he was 9 years old and you guys became friends. He said he didn't have a lot of friends growing up and was moving a lot and you were his constant. Then when he moved in with your Aunt and Uncle you guys got closer."

We arrive at the mall and Jess and I head into the first store. "I know that South Dakota isn't that warm but you are going to need some dresses or shorts while you're out here. It can get hot." She picks out a ton of clothes for me to try on. I try on the first dress and look at myself in the mirror. I feel a bit silly. I usually don't wear dresses. I walk out and Jess makes a happy squeal. "You look great Lara."

I look down at the price tag and wince. Jess catches me and shakes her head. "Don't worry about the price I got it. My parents are loaded." She says off handedly. After she picks me out a few outfits she takes me to the shoe department. "Do you have any sandals with you?" She asks me.

I shake my head no and look down at my old chucks. "These are all I have with me."

Jess puts her arm around my shoulders and starts to pick out shoes. "I will be solving that problem." She picks out sandals, high heels, a ballet flats for me to try on.

"Jess you really don't have to get me all this stuff. I'm only here for a week."

She laughs and waves it off. "I want to do it. I always wanted a little sister would let me torture her in the mall but all I got was a little brother! Besides you can bring them back with you." After a few more hours at the mall we head back to Sam's apartment. Jess insisted that I wear one of my new dresses. I'm wearing a white sundress with small dark blue flowers on it and white sandals. I have a new brown leather purse over my shoulder and makeup on my face. Jess almost had a heart attack when I told her that I didn't own any makeup and insisted on buying me some.

I'm a bit nervous to see Sam and Dean's reactions. They are going to make fun of me for sure. We walk up the stairs I notice that Jess has her own set of keys, they must be a lot closer than I thought. She opens up the door and Sam's roommates are the table eating pizza. They all look up at us and give me really uncomfortable glances. I see Sam in the living room sitting on the couch and I quickly walk around his roommate and over to him. To my surprise Dean is sitting on an arm chair drinking a beer instead of out with whatever new lady he thought he would find.

Sam looks up at me and for a moment I don't think he recognizes me. "Lara?" He asks me really surprised. I blush and lower my eyes. "Holy shit Jess what did you with squirt?" Dean exclaims from his seat. I look over and he's starting to get up.

Jess smiles and puts her arm around me. "I just got her some feminine clothes. She needed some of her own clothes not just you guys cast offs. We have more bags in the car if you guys can go get them." Sam and Dean both give me surprised looks and head back downstairs to get the rest of my bags. "Don't let them raze you. You look beautiful and they're just worried that you're growing up."

Once all my new stuff is in Sam's room Dean suggests that we all go out to dinner. "Is it alright if I invite my little brother? He can drive but his car is in the shop so we are going to need to pick him up is that alright?" Jess asks. Dean shakes his head and she calls her brother and we agree to pick him up.

We take Sam's car, the one we got him for his 16th birthday, and head out to pick up Jess' little brother. We show up at her house and she wasn't kidding when she said her parents were rich. This isn't a house it's a mansion. She jumps out of the car and runs to the front door. "Jess' brother is about your age Lara." Sam says has she brings her brother back to the car.

"Lara, Dean, this is my brother Tyler. Tyler you know Sam this is his brother Dean and his best friend Lara." He smiles at us and gets in the car. I wasn't expecting him to be so attractive. I start to blush and I feel uncharacteristically nervous. He's a bit shorter than Dean and had Jess' blond hair and blue eyes. He has a nice smile and an athletic build.

I stay quiet for most of the drive there listening to Sam and him talk about sports and school. Tyler is a soccer player just like Sam was. We pull up to the Mexican restaurant and I jump out of the car. We head in and has we are seated I try to sit between Sam and Dean but Jess maneuvers me to sit next to her brother and she gives me a wink. He gives a shy smile and looks down at his menu.

Sam, Dean, and Jess start to chat and I start to relax. Quickly we are all laughing and telling stories from all of us growing up. Tyler has started to relax too and we are talking easily about school and our friends. We have a lot of the same tastes in music and movies to my surprise. "Have you seen the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre yet? It just came out on dvd." Dave asks me.

I shake my head no and look over at Dean. It was the first horror movie I ever saw and the worst night of my life. Dean frowns and looks at Tyler. I don't want to talk about my parents tonight, it's been fun. Tyler must catch on to Dean's look and brings up another one. "How about Underworld? I heard it's pretty good and it's out now."

I release the breath I was holding. "No I haven't seen that one yet either. I wanted to though I remember it coming out."

Jess looks at Sam and he nods. "How about after dinner we rent it for your guys while Sam, Dean, and I go out to a bar nearby?" Tyler looks at me and I shake my head yes and he does too. "Great there is a blockbuster near your apartment anyways Sam."

Has we get up to leave Dean grabs my arm and pulls me away from the group. "If he tries anything you kick his ass then you call me. Ok squirt?"

I laugh and playfully hit him. "Dean you are being ridiculous, it's Jess' brother nothing to worry about." Even though secretly I kind of hope there is something there. Sam and Tyler run into the blockbuster to get the movie and then they drop us off at Sam's place.

"If my roommates are in the living room I have a TV and DVD player in my room." Sam says has we leave. Dean gives Sam a death glare and Sam tears away from the curb before Dean could get out and say anything stupid. I guess Jess has been better for Sam than I thought. He's not being as ridiculously over protective has normal.

I take out Sam's keys and open the front door and sure enough his jack ass roommates are all watching basketball yelling at the screen. They all turn around and smile at us has we come in. "Sam not coming back yet?" One of them asks.

"No, him, Jess, and Dean are going to a bar. This is Jess' brother we're going to watch a movie in Sam's room." They all wave at him and we walk past them to Sam's room. "I'll be right back. I just got to run to the bathroom and I'm going to change." I tell him handing him the movie.

Once I get in the bathroom I close my eyes and let out a sigh. Beside Sam and Dean I haven't even spent time alone with a boy and I'm nervous. I open my eyes and Uncle Gabe is there. I stifle a scream and hit him. "What are you doing here? You almost scared me to death!"

He smiles at me and gives me a hug. "Hey darling. Just thought I would drop in a check on you. So I see you have a boy with you."

I start to blush. "Please don't stay in the room with us. It will be weird to not to talk to you." He laughs and shakes his head. "I'm going to stay around a bit cause I don't trust those morons in the living room but I won't be in there with you. Can I ask a favor though."

I shake my head yes. "Just promise me that you will stay a virgin till your wedding night." My eyes shoot open and I know I must look like a deer stuck in the headlights. "Uncle Gabe I just meet him I wasn't planning on sleeping with him!"

"I know darling but I am beginning to realize you're not the same little girl. I just need you to promise me that you will."

"I promise. Now please don't embarrass me anymore tonight. Now get out I want to change." He leaves and I change into one of my old Guns n Roses t-shirt and a pair of black sleeping shorts. I feel a bit more comfortable out of the dress even though I liked it. Why would he ask my something so crazy has that? I've never done anything with a boy and he should know that. I shake it off and head back to Sam's room.

Tyler looks at me as I come in. "Nice shirt, I like the a lot too." He says when I come in. I shake my head and sit down on the bed. He puts in the movie and we sit down on the bed. I'm a bit nervous and I make sure to sit has far from him has possible.

"Tyler I think I should explain something." I say nervously. He turns his head to me and smiles. "What do you need to explain?"

I can feel myself start to blush but I can't stop it. "When you asked me about Texas Chainsaw Massacre I know I must have acted strange. I'm sorry about that. The first night I ever saw a horror movie I was 10 and Dean brought over the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre. That night my parents died."

I see shock fill Tyler's eyes but it quickly fades and he his eyes become sad. "I am sorry about that Lara. I didn't know."

"I know you didn't. I'm glad you found another movie for us to watch though." I can hardly look into his eyes has I say it and I know my face is turning bright red.

"I'm glad I did too." He mumbles out and we both lay back onto Sam's pillows and start the movie.

I can't pay attention to the plot. I'm just too distracted by the attractive guy sitting next to me. I can feel him staring at me as well. We slowly inch closer to each other throughout the movie. By the end of the movie my entire right side is pressed against him and he is holding my hand. I'm nervous but I like how it feels.

When the movie is done neither of us move to turn it off and we pretend to watch the credits in complete rapture. Once the credits are done rolling I reluctantly move to turn off the movie and I flip it to the television. I grab the remote and crawl back to my spot on the bed. When I get to my spot and turn around he moves his arm and puts his left arm around me and pulls me into him and I lean on his shoulder. I've never been this close to any man that wasn't my father, Uncle Bobby, Sam, or Dean and I like the way my heart is pounding and my stomach is filled with butterflies.

"Lara, may I kiss you?" He asks me quietly. I turn my head and tilt it. I close my eyes and I feel his lips cover mine. The butterflies in my stomach start to flutter even more and my heart nearly pounds out of my chest.

I hear the laughter before they open the door. I quickly jump out of Tyler's arms and slide to the far side of the bed and he does too. The door flings open and Dean and Sam come stumbling into the room laughing. Jess comes in behind them rolling her eyes at them. "Tyler you are going to need to stay here tonight. They are too drunk to drive and I'm not much better. We left Sam's car at the bar and walked home."

Tyler looks at me and smiles and smile back at him. "Where will I stay Jess?" He asks her. Sam starts to pull Jess with him to his room kissing her neck has they walk. "Where ever you can find a spot Tyler." Jess says to him with a laugh.

We both stay put hoping that maybe they will forget that he is in bed with me so we can go back to what we were doing. For a moment I think we got away with it. Jess and Sam have left the room to go back to his and Dean starts to stumble out. At the last moment Dean turns around and grabs Tyler's shirt and lifts him up. "Up you go boy. You're coming with me." Tyler flashes me a grin has Dean drags him out of the room.

Even after he is gone I can't stop smiling like a fool. All my friends have already had their first kiss, some of them have even already lost their virginity. Now I know what they were all talking about. I get ready for bed and grab Suzy. I feel silly needing her when I sleep but the dreams have been so much worst. They have been unbearable because unlike normal they are filled with the real me. It's me killing that man. NO LARA! It wasn't a man it was a werewolf and he was going to kill Dean. He almost did kill Dean. I can't get how Dean looked lying there on the table bleeding out from my mind. Every time I close my eyes two images fill my mind. The first is Dean bleeding to death on my table the second is the look on that werewolf's face when I shot him. I killed him, he was my first kill. If everything goes has planned it will not be my last kill. I will be a hunter just like Dean and his father and my uncle and I will kill more of those monsters. Hopefully the more I kill them and the more good I do for the world the easier it will be to forget them. Dean says it gets easier. He said the more that I see the evils that those monsters do, the more I see the things that they do to good people, the easier it will get. I pull back the blanket and curl into a tight ball and pull Suzy close to me. I fall asleep quickly.

_I have Dean slung over my shoulder and I am trying to get him to the hospital. I need to save him. The front door flings open and the man comes through gnarling at us like a rabid dog. Dean tries to grab his gun but he can't. I pull it out of his holster that is still on his side. "SHOOT HIM LARA!" He yells at me. I aim and I pull the trigger and the man dies. I fall to the floor hitting my knees has I crumble and I can't stop screaming. The blood from the dead man is creeping towards me and slowly starts to soak into my pajamas until it is around my neck choking me._

"Lara wake up! Lara is it is a dream wake up!" I jump awake and Dean grabs me and holds me.  
>"It's alright squirt. I am here. You are safe. I'm here. I won't let anything happen to you squirt. I have you. Just calm down and breathe." He mutters to me has he runs his hands through my hair and down my back trying to calm me down.<p>

A/N I hope you liked it! If so review it please!


	10. Chapter 10

Dean's POV

Sam wants me to allow Squirt to do what exactly? He knows what boys are like at this age and he knows better than to suggest such a preposterous idea. A date. Letting our Lara go on a date with Tyler. I thought we were both on the same page about Lara dating. Not until she's 30 was our agreement and now he comes to me saying that Tyler has asked her on a date and she said only if we say it's alright and he wants me to go along with it. Jess has that boy pussy whipped. There is no way that I would ever have a woman control me like that.

"Dean come on. It's not like he is some strange boy it's Jess' little brother. If he does something stupid we can easily track him down and beat the shit out of him. He is a good kid. I've known him awhile now and he's a decent. He came to me specially to ask permission to take her out. How many boys do you know do that?"

My brother is too gullible. "Didn't that foolish boy who took Lara to prom ask you and Bobby for permission before taking her out?"

"That was different Dean. He was a team mate of mine and he knew he had to ask us first. Tyler doesn't know Lara or you and doesn't know how protective we are of her. He is a good kid. She really wants to go. She has been giddy all morning and Jess has been helping her all afternoon with her hair and makeup. Just let her go." Sam pulls out the big guns at the end and gives me his little lost puppy dog look. Damn him and Lara and that stupid look. They know I can't say no to either of them when they do that to me.

"Fine! He can take her on a date! But I swear to god if anything happens to her I will kill him!" Sam rolls his eyes at me again and leaves me alone. I huff over to Sam's bedroom to see what Jess and Lara are doing.

Lara is sitting on the bed laughing while Jess curls her hair and puts the finishing touches of her makeup on. Once Lara notices me she gives me her pouty face. "Can I go Dean? Please can I go?"

I shake my head yes and she lets out an excited squeal and Jess laughs with her and gives her a hug. "Thank you Dean." She exclaims through her excitement. I feel a bit better letting her go now because she is so excited. I haven't seen her this excited in a long time. We've been here a week and just like back at home she cries out every night in her sleep. I want her to forget that werewolf and be happy again.

The laughter from Sam's room continues for another hour until Jess leaves the room and brings Lara with her. Lara keeps her head lowered for a moment and I can tell she's shy, but she doesn't need to be she looks lovely. She looks like a young lady. Quite frankly it scares me. Squirt it growing up and she is going to be a woman, hell I guess technically she is a woman. She slowly lifts her head and makes eye contact with me. I know she wants my approval. "You look lovely Lara. Have fun on your date." She smiles at me and I see her relax in front of me. Jess put her in a dark blue summer dress that matches her eyes. Luckily the dress isn't to low cut or too short but it is still a bit sexier than I want her to be. I wish I could put her in a turtleneck and jeans but I need to let her grow up I suppose.

There is a knock at the door and Sam runs to answer it. Thank god his brainless roommates aren't home. Those boys are wearing on my last nerves. They never stop staring at Lara has if she a meal they can eat. Sam insists that they are harmless but if they so much has move a hand towards her they will no longer have hands.

"Hey Tyler come on in." Sam says to Tyler has he ushers him into the apartment. I look up at Lara and she is blushing. Tyler crosses the room quickly and grabs her hand and kisses it gently. I want to jump up and hit him but I guess it is very gentlemanly to kiss her hand and Sam put his hand on my shoulder to keep me seated. He then hands her a bouquet of flowers. Lara blushes over them and Jess takes them to put them in water.

"Be home by 11. We are leaving tomorrow." I say to Tyler briskly. Lara gives me an incredulous look with a pout at the end of it. "Ok fine. Have her home by midnight."

Tyler looks at me and I see him swallow nervously. "Yes sir. I will have her home by midnight." Lara laces her arm in Tyler's and they head out.

"Calm down Dean. My brother is a good kid. He was raised well and he knows how to treat a woman. He knows if he is anything but a perfect gentleman I will kill him myself. Now let's go out. It's the last night you and your brother are together. Let's go have some fun." Jess says to me trying to convince me everything is alright.

"Fine you win! You don't have to twist me arm lets go get drunk!" Sam grabs Jess and we head out to the local bar.

Lara's POV

Tyler brought me a really nice restaurant. I've never been on a real date. Jess has been really awesome making sure Tyler has been around and invited to go with us places. We've had a week to get to know each other and we have even had a few stolen moments alone together. He has kissed me three more times.

I excuse myself from the table and head to the bathroom. I look over my shoulder and I see that Tyler is watching me and I smile at him. I'm not paying attention to where I am going and I run straight into someone. "Excuse me sir I wasn't looking where I was going." I look up, "Uncle Cas! What are you doing here?" I ask my Uncle Cas who is standing in front of me in his vessel.

He gives me a kind smile. "My dear I am just here to check on you. I decided to wear my vessel so that no one would look at you funny talking to air."

He follows me to the bathroom and I give him a quick hug. "Are you to remind me of what I promised your brother? I don't understand every ones obsession with my virginity lately."

Cas breaks into a grin. "Darling I don't worry about that. You are a good smart girl. I know you will do what is right when the time comes. I just wanted to make sure you are safe. We get nervous when are without your uncle or one of the Winchesters."

"Uncle Cas believe it or not I can take care of myself. I have been training and I can keep myself safe. I don't need a man to make sure I am safe." None of the men in my life are willing to trust me.

"Oh darling I do know you can take care of yourself. I have been watching over you since your mother was pregnant. I will always worry about you and so will my brothers. You are the closest thing I will ever have to a daughter and I will always watch over you darling. I just wanted to make sure you felt safe and that you are having a nice evening. I am always just a prayer away. I will not hover over you and your date I just want to make sure you are safe."

That's my uncles for you. Always watching over me and making sure I am safe. Uncle Gabe has assured me that even when I don't see them they are always watching me. I suppose it should make me feel safe and it does but tonight I kind of wish I could have some alone time. "I am going back to my date Uncle Cas. I will be fine."

I leave Uncle Cas in the corridor in front of the rest rooms and head back to Tyler. He smiles at me when I return and I see that he has already paid the bill. "Shall we?" He asks me has he stands up. He takes my arm again and escorts me out of the restaurant. "We still have two hours. Do you want to go on walk?"

"I would love that." We walk the streets in the warm evening air not caring where we go. I have no problem talking to him anymore. I still feel the butterflies in my stomach but my tongue is no longer tied. After we have been walking for about an hour he brings me into a gelato shop and we have desert together.

We take our cones and walk the streets again. I try not to make a mess but I drop some of the ice cream and it starts to drip down my chin. I stop to clean it off and Tyler sees it and smiles. He takes his hand and wipes the melting ice cream off my chin. We meet each other's gaze and we both stop smiling. He doesn't ask me this time he just leans down and kisses me. Our ice cream is quickly forgotten and the cones fall to the ground.

He wraps his arms around my back and I wind my hands around his neck. I know he is about to truly kiss me and I'm nervous about it. He slowly deepens in the kiss and enters my mouth. I can taste the chocolate on his tongue flavoring my mouth. I pull away though. I smile at him and he kisses my forehead. That kiss is enough for me to start with. "Will I see you again Lara?" He asks me.

I nod. "Of course, Sammy is still here and will be here. I live in South Dakota but that isn't too far. And there is a ting called a telephone. You may have heard of it. I hear the technology has even made it this far west."

He laughs and that and grabs my hand tightly and walks me back his car. When we pull up to Sam's apartment it is 11:50. We spend the next 10 minutes kissing in the car and promptly at 12 he escorts me to Sam's door. Before I can knock Dean opens the door. "Good timing. A moment later and I would have had to hunt you down."

I hit him in the chest. I turn around and Tyler kisses my check good bye and Dean grabs me into the apartment and slams the door. "Dean calm down. It's not like you have never kissed a girls cheek before."

His face gets bright red and he points to Sam's bedroom door. I laugh and walk towards the room and slam the door in this face. I walk to the window and wave at Tyler has he gets into his car. Dean waits a minute then flings the door open. "I told Bobby I would look after you."

"I didn't do anything wrong. It was just a kiss. Beside when is the last time you just kissed a girl?" I got him there and he knows it.

a/n I hope you liked it sorry it was so long before I posted again. Leave a review!


	11. Chapter 11

Bobby's POV

They should be back any moment. And when they do get back they have some major explaining to do. It's not that I was snooping. I didn't have to snoop to find this one all I had to do was hear Karen scream while she was doing laundry.

The familiar roar of Dean's car fills my driveway and I know they are back. They both look happy but they have serious explaining to do. Lara gets out of the car and runs over to me to give me a hug. "Uncle Bobby! How are you? I missed you."

I push her back and hold her at arm's length and pull the gun and knife out of the back of my jeans. "Explain." Is all I say. She looks down at them and her eyes get wide with shock and she quickly turns around and looks at Dean. That one look is all I needed to see.

"You're a dead man!" I yell at Dean has I push Lara out of my way and attack him. He doesn't fight me back. He tries to protect himself but he doesn't raise a hand to me. He knows he's wrong. Through my rage I hear Lara yelling at me. "Stop it Uncle Bobby! He didn't do anything wrong!" Yes he did. He's been teaching my baby how to hunt.

The rage has fully taken over me and I can't stop hitting him. My fist gets caught and I feel a cold, sharp, metallic object at my neck. "Stop it Uncle Bobby you are killing him." Lara says forcefully. I look down and sure enough Dean's face is swollen and black and blue. His eyes are swelling shut, his lip is busted and bleeding, his nose maybe be broken, and his jaw if it isn't is definitely cracked. I went too far. I take a step back and raise my other hand in the air. That's when I notice Lara has a sword to my neck.

"Where the hell did you get that?" I ask her. She flashes a warning at me and I know not to ask again. This has something to do with the angels I just don't know what.

Lara keeps the blade to my neck and guides me back towards the house. "He didn't do anything wrong. I demanded that he teach me and I hounded him every day until he did."

She has no idea what she is truly asking for. "No Lara. He had no right to teach you any of this. This isn't a joke and this isn't a world that I want you part of."

"A world you want me part of? I am part of this world regardless of you want. I've been part of it since I was a baby!" She yells at me with a laugh. I know she's right. For some reason the angels have been guarding her and she can see them. That makes her part of this world whether I want her to be or not.

I turn my attention on Dean. "So what do you have to say for yourself?" He spits out blood and that's when I see Karen come running out of the house. I was hoping she missed this. She runs over to Dean with a wet cloth and tries to blot his face. She looks back at him. "Bobby Singer! This is not how we handle problems in this house!"

I turn bright red. "I'm sorry Karen but he was teaching Lara how to hunt behind our backs." She shakes her head at me. "You have been teaching her how to hunt since we 10, she just didn't know what she was training for. It's not different."

Maybe she got me there but I still feel like what I was doing was different. I just wanted her to be able to protect herself. I look back at Dean I still want an answer. "She wanted to learn and I couldn't say no. And Bobby she is really good." I guess his jaw isn't broken.

No shit she's really good she's my niece! "Alright if she's so great prove it!" I look at Lara and she drops the sword at my throat and I hand her the gun Karen found under her pillow and I look back at Dean. I walk to the trash can and pull out a can and hand it to him. "If she is so great then you won't mind standing still while she shoots a can off your head."

He doesn't even hesitate or show any signs of doubt. He grabs the can puts it on his head and faces Lara. She doesn't look to concerned either. I move away from her and bring Karen with me. "Bobby this is ridiculous what if she misses!" Karen yells at me.

Lara flashes us a dangerous look. "I won't." She says angrily. She quickly lines up the shot and with deadly precision hits the can right off his head. Dean doesn't even flinch when she pulls the trigger, he stands there like a statue.

I pick the sword up off the ground and I throw it at her. She grabs it by the handle with cat like reflexes. I don't have a sword but I do have a knife. I attack. She reacts like a hunter and meets all my attacks with a block and even manages to add in some of her own offensive moves. He's trained her well. I quickly look over at him and he is shocked to see her moving so swiftly with her blade and I know that he hasn't been the one teaching her how to use this foreign blade. That one moment of not paying attention is all she needed to disarm me and throw me to the ground. "Anything else?" She asks me.

I jump up and grab her arm bringing her into the house with me and slamming the door behind me. "Who's been teaching you the sword? And what kind of blade is that?"

She turns red and looks down at her feet. "Uncle Gabe and Uncle Cas have been training me with it. It's an angel blade. I wasn't suppose to show it to you yet but when I thought you were going to kill Dean it was the closest weapon I had." Those assholes have been in on this too? Has she asked everyone but me for help?

"Lara why didn't you come to me? You had no problem asking Dean and the angels but you couldn't ask me?"

"I didn't think you would cave and teach me. I knew Dean would cave and the angels came to me. They offered to teach me what I needed to know. I want to do this Uncle Bobby. I am good at this." She is good at this.

"No, absolutely not. I am not letting you go into this life." She stomps her foot turns around and tries to run up to her room but I grab her arm before she can run off. "This is a dangerous life and I don't want to lose you to it. I don't know what I would do or what your Aunt Karen would do if we ever got the call that something happened to you."

"Uncle Bobby this is what I was born to do. I can feel it in my gut and my in my soul. I'm not asking to do anything but for what I know I am good at." I let her go and she runs up the stairs.

I slowly walk back towards the door and open it to see Karen and Dean standing on the porch. "So this is the life she wants?" I ask him coldly.

Dean shakes his head yes. "I told her no. I told her that she can learn to protect herself but there is no way in hell I'm letting her live this life." I laugh. There is one thing that Lara doesn't take well and that's no for an answer.

I head back inside and slam the door leaving Dean outside. I think he can take the hint that I want him gone. I know I will forgive him but for right now I need to just stay mad at him. I head down to the panic room and I do something I have never done before, I pray to my nieces guardians. "Uncle Cas and Uncle Gabe I need you to come down here right now and talk to me."

10 minutes go by and I begin to think they aren't coming then two men appear in front of me. One is a bit older maybe in his 30's with light brown hair. The other is about Dean's age maybe a bit older with scruffy dark brown hair and blue eyes. Holy shit those are Lara's same eyes and hair color. "This isn't what I expected angels to look like."

The older one smiles at me. "You cannot see us in our true form only your niece can. We are wearing vessels. Why have you called us? You have never done so before?"

I take a deep breath and try to calm myself. I don't need to piss off any angels. "Why were you guys training her behind me back? You had no right. I am her guardian and her uncle. I should have been informed or at least asked."

The younger one starts to blush. "Technically this vessel is her father. I believe that gives me the right to decide how to protect his daughter."

"Her father?" I ask confused and angry.

The older one puts his hand on the younger ones shoulder. "I am the angel Gabriel and this is my younger brother the angel Castiel. Your sister in law's husband was barren. Betsy was one of my vessels and I wanted her to have a daughter. So Castiel and I asked his vessel if he would donate his sperm to give my vessel a child. He agreed and Betsy and Frank got their child. We were only trying to help her protect herself. She is in this life whether you want her to be or not. They will come for her Bobby and she needs to be able to protect herself. We have always known that she is safe with you and the Winchesters. That is why we have been so scarce since she has moved in with you. I am sorry but we cannot risk telling you more and changing hers, yours, or Dean's path."

I open my mouth to ask another question and they are gone.

Gabriel's POV

I hit Castiel upside the head. "What is wrong with you telling him that your vessel is her father?" My little brother can be so stupid sometimes.

He blushes and lowers his eyes. "I am sorry Gabriel it just came out. I wanted him to know that I, we, have the right to train her. Do you think he bought our whole story? We cannot tell him what she is destined for."

I shake my head yes. "Even if he didn't it won't matter because he can't find out. We just need to keep her has safe has possible until it's time."

A/N Please review. I feel like maybe you guys don't like this one that much!


	12. Chapter 12

Lara's POV

So close to the end of my senior year I can taste the freedom. Dean has refused to answer any of my calls about wanting to go hunting with him. I have been trying to get him on the phone so we can talk about when I can join him. I am 17 dammit and I'll be graduated in a month and 18 this summer. I can make decisions for myself.

School is out for the day and it's finally getting warm in South Dakota. Sam and Jess are coming to visit for a week and I get to go pick them up tonight at the airport. My friends Chelsea and Hillary are walking with me outside. Their cars are parked in the parking lot and I am looking for Uncle Bobby. He had to do some work on my car this afternoon so he dropped me off and said he would come pick me up.

I'm not really paying attention but Chelsea nudges me and I look up at her and Hillary. Hillary is pointing down the school lot. "Who is that hottie?" She asks. I follow her pointed finger and squeal with excitement.

I take off running not caring that I am in a jean skirt and cowboy boots. I haven't seen the asshole in about a year. I finally get to him and jump up on him giving him a tight hug. He hugs me back tightly and puts me back down on my feet. "You asshole!" I yell at him playfully hitting his arm. "I haven't seen you in a year and your hardly return my phone calls and you just show up out of the blue at my school."

He smiles at and gives me another hug. "Sorry squirt, I was following orders. Bobby and my dad told me to let you be your senior year. They wanted you to have a normal high school experience to make decisions on your own without my dumb ass trying to persuade you."

God I have missed Dean. After Sam went to college he made sure to visit me once a month because he knew I missed Sammy. Then this year he just stopped coming by and his phone calls have been so infrequent that I started to forget the sound of his voice. "Are you kidding me? They told you that you couldn't see me?" I am getting a bit pissed. They have been keeping me from one of the most important people in my life.

Dean shakes his head no. "Not quite squirt. They just didn't want me to influence your decision on going into my line of work. They wanted you to have a normal senior year without any of my craziness flooding it. But I know that you only have a month left and I wanted to see Sam and Jess and I have a surprise for you."

Before he can tell me my surprise I hear Hillary and Chelsea behind me coughing. I turn around and they are blushing and I know they want to know who the man is that I went running across the parking lot like a crazy person for is. I look back at Dean. "Dean these are two of my girl friends Chelsea and Hillary, Girls this is one of my best friends Dean." They both shyly smile and wave at him and Dean smiles back.

"Come on squirt we got to get back." He says has he gets into the car. I give my friends a hug goodbye and climb back into the car sinking into the familiar leather chairs that I haven't been in for a year.

"So what's my surprise Dean?" I ask bubbling over in excitement. Dean looks over at me and flashes me a grin. "Well first of all does your uncle know you left the house looking like that this morning?"

I look down at my clothes. They have changed a bit since the last time Dean was around. I am wearing a skirt which I used not to do and it's shorter then he would have allowed me to wear. I have taken a bunch of his and Sam's old band tshirts and cut and sewn them to fit my much smaller frame. I still have the clothes that Jess got me two years ago and last summer she went crazy going shopping for me. I had to get a new suitcase just to get it all home. I shrug my shoulders. "Dean don't be such an ass. Uncle Bobby knows I can take care of myself and none of the boys in this school bother to even look at me. I haven't been on a date since Jess' little brother Tyler took me out again last summer. So he doesn't care what I wear has long has I don't get sent home." I have gone back to visit Sam just once and it was last summer for a week. I stayed with him and Jess in their new apartment and Tyler took me out a few times. We like each other but has long as I am here and he is there, especially now that he is finishing his first year of college I didn't want him to get tied down with a long distance girl friend. We decided not to put any pressure on it and officially date. So when we see each other we go out but we're free to meet other people too.

He looks back at me. "Holy shit squirt! Is your nose pierced?" My hand flies to my nose instinctually even though I know it is pierced. "Yea I got it done a few months ago."

"How did you get Bobby to agree to that? I mean it's a hole in your head!" He says laughing. I give him a stern look. "Uncle Bobby lost a bet, and besides it's very popular in India. Most women have them."

Dean shakes his head in disagreement and continues to drive. "I gotta hear what bet he lost. Well Bobby called me and told me that you have been bothering him to get an anti possession tattoo. He has decided you can get one and that I can take you this afternoon before Sam and Jess get here."

I have been bothering Uncle Bobby nonstop about getting one all school year. I know I want to hunt and even if I didn't I would still need to be protected. I clap my hands together and smile. "Finally! Can we go now? We still have a few hours before we need to drive to the airport."

"Already taking us there squirt." He opens his glove compartment and pulls out a bottle of bourbon. "Take a swig of this before we go in. Tattoo's can hurt and this will help with your nerves."

I open the bottle and look over at Dean. "Where is yours Dean?" I ask wondering where he hides his tattoo. He pulls the collar of his shirt down on the left side of his chest and tilts over so I can see it. I forgot how built he is. It's just a hunter's body though. Sam is the same way and I am working on toning mine too. I don't want to look like one of those weight lifting girls but I need to be able to defend myself. I have always been lean but I am trying to put on some muscle, which isn't working to well. "I want to put mine on my lower back."

Dean starts to laugh hysterically. "You want a tramp stamp squirt. You are lucky that Bobby said you could pick the spot because I don't think he has any idea you want it there."

I smile and take a quick swig of the bourbon. I haven't had alcohol since that night I drank the vodka and woke up with a hangover. It burns going down my throat and I stifle back a cough. We pull up to the parlor and I take one more shot and throw it in the glove compartment.

The tattoo parlor looks shady but I know this guy is serious about his work. He's good and I also know that he did Dean's and Sam's tattoo. Dean walks in and shakes the guys hand and I come in behind him. "Travis this is my friend Lara. She wants the same tattoo that my brother and I have."

Travis looks at me and extends his hand. I take it and shake it quickly. He has two sleeves on his arms and even his neck has a tattoo on it. "Where you want it?" He asks me.

I turn around and lift up the back of my tshirt and point at my lower back. He takes a look and escorts me to the back room. "Can Dean come?" I ask hesitating for a moment. I don't want him to think I am weak but I don't want to go alone either. Travis laughs and shakes his head and Dean comes in with me.

"Ok kiddo take lift up the shirt and take off your skirt and lay on your stomach. This is going to take awhile so if you want to take off your boots to be comfortable you can to. I have some towels back there if you want to put one on your upper back or legs. I'll be back in a minute. I want to get the design for the tattoo and get a clean gun." Travis leaves us in the room and he heads out.

There is what looks like a doctor operating table in the middle of the room with a few towels folded up on a chair next to it. I kick off my boots and stuff my socks in them and place them under the chair near the wall. I take of my skirt and check my panties to make sure they are low ride enough to not impede him doing the tattoo. Has I go to lift of my shirt Dean stops me. "Squirt just roll it up. You don't need to take it off. Then lie down." He looks uncomfortable.

I do has he says and I roll up my shirt and lay down face first on the table. Dean takes one of the towels and spreads it out over my butt and thighs then takes the seat next to the table and I grab his hand. "Thanks for staying with me. I am bit nervous."

Dean smiles and squeezes my hand. "Did you think I would let you get your first tattoo without me? I wouldn't have missed it for anything. Now just relax and let him do his thing. He's good and he's quick."

Travis comes back into the room and takes his seat and sets up his equipment. Travis tries to move the towel on my lower body down a bit but Dean actually makes a growling sound at him and he drops the towel and picks up his gun. He starts the tattoo and I try not to flinch or move. I want Dean to see that I can take pain and I am strong. "So what is it with you guys and this tattoo? You all in some kind of cult or something?" He asks half kidding.

Dean and I make eye contact and laugh. I don't turn around to look at him but talk into the table. "Better believe it. We like to sacrifice cats during the full moon and run around the woods naked while tripping shrooms." Travis starts to laugh and I try not to giggle because I don't want to move. Travis continues to work on my tattoo and doesn't ask about the pattern again.

It only takes about an hour and half and I'm relieved when he is done so I can move again. Travis leaves the room so I can get redressed. He hands Dean saran wrap to put on it once I get to take a look at it. I get off the table and stretch feeling all the bones in my back crack. "God that feels good. I was getting locked up just sitting there."

Dean laughs at me and takes me over to the mirror. I put my back towards it and turn my head over my shoulder and look down at my lower back to see my new ink. It's still bleeding but I like it. I don't care what Dean or Sam will say it's not a tramp stamp. I turn my head towards Dean. "Mind putting the saran wrap on me?"

"Not a problem." He says twirling his finger so I know to turn around. I face the mirror and I watch him put the plastic wrap over my lower back. He looks like he is blushing but that doesn't make any sense.

When he's done I go back to the chair with all my clothes and get redressed. Dean hands me a bottle of pills and a bottle of water. "Take 4 of those it will help with any pain you might have later." I open the bottle and take some.

"Thanks again for staying with me." I tell him has I put my socks and boots back on. Dean looks like he is blushing again and brings his hand to his mouth and shakes his head and looks away. "Not a problem Lara. I'm relieved you have it now. I can cross one thing of my list of things I worry about with you."

"Can I get another one?" I ask hopefully. Dean laughs and shakes his head. "When your 18 you can get has many has you want. For right now I was only authorized to get you one." That's fair enough I guess.

We pay and head back to his car and I roll down the windows and close my eyes has we drive back home. He blares his music and it feels like old times again, hell it feels like home. I have missed this lot. We pull up to the house and I jump out of the car. Uncle Bobby and Aunt Karen are in the kitchen. I show them my tattoo and they seem to like it. I knew Uncle Bobby wasn't too excited about me getting it done.

Dean comes in through the door and it swings shut and Aunt Karen runs over and gives him a hug followed by Uncle Bobby. I guess I wasn't the only one who missed him. "So what is this I hear about you losing a bet and squirt getting her nose pierced?"

Uncle Bobby turns red and looks at my proudly. "Girl played me like a fiddle. I lost a shooting bet to her. Girl is like Annie Oakley."

"You lost to squirt?" Dean says with his mouth gapping open in shock. "You lost a bet to squirt over shooting a gun." Bobby shakes his head and Dean looks at me. "I don't believe it. You're getting old Bobby. I bet I could still outshoot you."

I laugh and shake my head. "Wanna wager?" I ask him. He shakes his head yes. "OK if I make it you have to take me to get my belly button pierced and help me set up the trunk of my car for hunting." Dean looks at Uncle Bobby and Aunt Karen for approval and they both shake their heads yes. Aunt Karen laughs at me. "She will be 18 in a few months and she would just get it done then anyways."

Dean winces and thinks for a minute. "If I win you have to take me to and from the bar for the rest of my visit here and you have to do it in a uniform like my own personal chauffer." I shake on it even though I know I'll win.

Uncle Bobby laughs and follows us outside. He sets up the targets in our practice field and explains it to Dean. The goal is to hit the bull's-eye on all 4 targets. They are at different distances and you are moving at different directions for them. The first is straight on but it's about 100 yards away. The second is high up and you have to run through an obstacle course before you shot. The third is low to the ground and you have to do a somersault and aim on it right away. The last one you have to spin around 10 times and shoot it.

Dean goes first and he makes the first bull's-eye with no problems. The second he hits about a quarter inch off, the third about 3 inches off, and the last is just at the edge of the target. He looks pretty cocky and sure of himself. Yes that is good for most people and even most Olympic marksman couldn't have done better, but they aren't me.

I aim the first shot and it goes right in the center, I do the first obstacle course aim has I'm moving not stopping and seamlessly drop into the somersault for the third and aim and shot has I come up. I quickly spin 10 times aim and shoot it. I look back at Dean and he is shocked. I look at my targets and they are all bulls-eyes except the last one which is an inch off. "Dammit I missed it again."

"How did you do that?" Dean asks me in complete shock. I smile and shrug my shoulders. "What can I say, I am just that bad ass. Still have a problem with taking me hunting with you after graduation?"

Dean shakes his head no completely speechless. Uncle Bobby puts his arm around my shoulder. "That's my girl." He says proudly.

"So Dean want to take me to get my new piercing now or tomorrow?" I ask with a cocky grin. Dean looks at Uncle Bobby and he shakes his head. "We'll go tomorrow we got to get Jess and Sam soon."

I come up beside him and put my arm around his waist and wiggle my way under his arm. "So what should I bet Sam for?" Dean chuckles and shakes his head. "Make him take you for a mani-pedi and he has to get one too." I burst out laughing. It's a great idea and he'll fall prey to me just like Dean and Uncle Bobby did.

"Can we work on my trunk too?" He shakes his head yes and I'm excited to get my car all finished up. We spend the rest of the afternoon at home and Dean unpacks in the den where he stays while he's here. Jess is going to be staying with me and Sam will have his old bed. Uncle Bobby says he refuses to let Sam and Jess stay in a room because he doesn't want them having sex and corrupting my fragile innocence or something like that. He can be so ridiculous sometimes.

At around 8 I grab my purse and pick up my keys. "You coming Dean?" I ask him while he's sitting on the couch. "Yep, but we are taking my car. Yours is too small for all of us and their luggage." I follow him to car and get in. We talk about nothing special on the way to the airport and I'm so excited I can hardly keep still. The last time I saw Sam was for Christmas break. He came home for two weeks and spent Christmas and New Years with me but left right after to spend the rest of his break with Jess.

We park at the airport and go to wait at the arrivals. We are only there about 10 minutes when I hear, "LARA!" Being screamed out from the entrance. I throw Dean my purse and run at the man screaming my name. He drops his carry on and catches me has I fly into him arms. "Sam! I have missed you so much!" I squeal at him has he spins me around.

Sam finally puts me back down and I give Jess a tight hug. "Don't think I have forgotten about you Jess. I have missed you too. I am so glad you are coming to visit." Jess hugs me back and we make our way to baggage claim. Sam only has one bag since they will both be going back to school after their visit. Jess has three suitcases. She points to one of them. "I know it may have been presumptuous of me but I brought you some more stuff. I just love shopping for you. You're just so pretty and petite." I blush and we roll the bags out to Dean's car. I am really glad we took his and not mine because we never would have fit in it.

Once we are all back home Sam and Dean help get the luggage upstairs and Sam goes to his room to unpack. I show Jess the closet and the dresser space that I cleared for her to use while she is visiting. She opens up the suitcase of clothes she got for me and starts to pull them out. They are really awesome. Different shorts, pants, shirts, dresses, skirts, and shoes. "Jess I can't accept these. It is really too much."

Jess gives me a big hug. "Please take them. I love getting them for you. I always wanted a little sister and you are like the one I never got to have." I smile and try on a few of them while she puts her clothes away. The text message alert on my phone goes off and I jump across the bed to read it.

I pick up the phone and I see it's from Hillary. "Lara you are not going to believe this. Kevin just told me that Sam has been paying him and Ryan $250 a semester to watch over you and make sure the boys don't give you any problems."

I have to read it two times for it to sink it. I jump off the bed taking the phone with me seeing red. I turn the corner and barrel in to Sam's room and hand him my phone. "Explain!" I yell at him. He looks at my phone and reads it quickly. "I can explain Lara." He says calmly.

I leap on him and start to hit him. "How fucking dare you Sam! I am going to fucking kill you!" He tries to push me off of him but I keep hitting him. Someone pulls me off of Sam and tries to keep my arms down. "Squirt calm down. What's going on?" A voice says into my ear.

I turn my head and I see Dean trying to restrain me. "Did you know about this?" I ask him angrily. He looks at me confused and Sam hands him my phone and he reads it. His eyes get large and he shakes his head no. "I didn't know squirt I swear."

Jess comes in behind Dean. "What is going on in here?" She asks kind of afraid. I shake free of Dean and put up my arms in surrender so he knows I won't attack Sammy again. "You're boyfriend has been paying two guys in my grade $250 a semester to keep boys away from me! I wasn't even asked to prom!" I can feel tears welling in my eyes.

Jess hits Sam. "You are an idiot Samuel Winchester." She puts her arm around me and takes me back to my room. She sits down on the bed with me and lets me cry. "I am so sorry he did that sweet heart. He is such a fool, but he only did it because he loves you. Has prom happened yet?" I shake my head no. "You let Jess fix everything for you. I promise that you will have a wonderful prom and a date. Now let's just relax and we can go shopping for a dress tomorrow."

She spends the rest of the night calming me down. I feel foolish for being so upset but I can't stop crying. I had begun to think I was an outcast or some kind of freak because none of the guys in my school would look at me. All of my friends were going on dates all the time and I wasn't asked once. Every day for the last two months I kept thinking one of them would ask me to prom but no one did so I figured that guys just didn't like me. I can't believe that Sammy betrayed me like that.

Jess and I finally go to bed around 1 am. After an hour of tossing and turning I get up and head to Sam's room. He is sound asleep and snoring on his bed. I shake him awake. It only takes him a minute to realize it's me. "Lara I am so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. I just wanted to protect you."  
>I shake my head. "I don't want to hear it right now Sammy. You just go head in with Jess. I'll sleep in here and you can wake me up in the morning before Uncle Bobby figures it out." Sam gets out of bed and gives me a hug. "Thanks Lara. I am really sorry again, I'll make it up to you."<p>

"Damn straight you will. You are going to be paying for my dress, a limo, and my hair and makeup." I say to him has we switch spots. I get into his bed and he kisses my cheek. "I love you Lara you know that. I was just worried after what happened with Melissa at prom my senior year."

"Sam, if you had bothered to ask after Kyle went to juvenile detention and he came back I kicked his ass for what he did to Melissa. After I was done with him a few of the other guys took a turn too. He quit school and moved to a new one. I can take care of myself and the fact that you didn't think I could, hurts." I don't understand why he couldn't trust me.

Sam lowers his head. "I know you can but you're my best friend and my little sister. I don't know what I would do if anything ever happened to you."

"You won't have to find out. Now go back to your girlfriend. Be careful she isn't has forgiving has me." He turns around and leaves waving at me has he leaves the room. My stupid giant best friend, he is just such an idiot sometimes.


	13. Chapter 13

Dean's POV

My poor little brother, the idiot. Did he really think that Lara wouldn't' find out? Actually I can't believe that she didn't figure it out earlier. This has been going on for three years so I guess Kevin and Ryan were doing it right if she never figured it out. She looked so upset last night.

Jess is taking her dress shopping after school today. The prom is on Saturday night and this is Thursday. He is lucky that she can still get the tickets or she may have killed him. I couldn't sleep in because I wanted to make sure Lara is alright this morning. I heard her get out of the shower and I assume she'll be coming down soon. I head into the kitchen and pour myself a cup of coffee. Karen is making breakfast and Bobby is eating at the table. "Has she calmed down yet?" I ask them.

Karen shrugs her shoulders. "I don't know yet. She hasn't been down. I think Jess calmed her down pretty well last night though." Bobby doesn't comment. He is kind of happy that Sam kept his little girl out of the dating pool 0but he also knows that Sam went overboard.

Lara comes into the kitchen wearing a pink summer dress and sandals. Squirt is growing up and it makes nervous. I hadn't seen her for a year and she is all grown up now. The last time I saw her she was still like a kid, she was squirt. Then I come back after a year and she is a young woman, she is Lara now. It's strange. "You doing alright?" I ask her hoping she won't bite my head off.

She shakes her head yes. "I am doing alright. I am just so mad at Sam. I can't believe he paid two guys to make sure I didn't go out on any dates. I had thought that I was so ugly and unattractive. Now I just don't know what to think."

Lara is anything but ugly and unattractive but luckily Karen saves me from having to say anything. She brings Lara into a hug. "Oh sweet heart you are so beautiful. Don't you ever think that you aren't regardless of how boys treat you. You have bloomed into a gorgeous young lady. I know what Sam did was stupid but he did it because he was worried about you. He has always been protective of you and he was so scared about leaving you at school alone."

I follow Lara out to her car; I just want to have a chance to talk to her before she goes to school. Her car suits her. I thought it was a strange pick when she told me that's the one she wanted me to help her fix up 3 years ago but now that it's done I see that it's perfect for her. The old bug is small enough that it doesn't overwhelm her. Has she climbs into her car I stop her. She looks up at me quizzically. "I am sorry that you thought you were ugly and unattractive squirt. That wasn't what Sam meant to do. He feels horrible that you felt that. He was just scared because you are so beautiful and neither of us would be able to have your back in school. Teenage guys are horny and think of only one thing, and that is getting in your pants. He just wanted to save you from getting hurt. When he was there he was beating guys up left and right. They kept talking to him about how pretty you were and how they wanted to get you in the back of their car. He was just trying to protect you."

Lara lowers her eyes and looks at her steering wheel and I see her take in a deep breath. "I understand that he was just worried about me. I just wish that you all would start trusting me. You guys didn't trust me to handle the truth about what you do, you guys didn't trust me to be able to fight those creatures, which I am awesome at by the way, then now you guys don't even trust me to go out on a date with a guy. I just want you guys to trust me. I trust you guys even after all that is it too much to ask for you guys to trust me?"

I put my hand on her right cheek and make her face me. "Lara I promise that we trust you and we will start to trust you more."

"What angers me more is that you all think that even if a guy thinks I'm pretty that I would just jump into bed with him. I made a promise to God that I would wait till I was married and that's not going to change because some guy gives me attention."

"You made a promise to God? I didn't know you were religious squirt." I feel relived though that she isn't planning on sleeping with the first guy she meets.

"I'm not religious per say but I have a great faith. I know God is real and I know his angels are real too. I made a promise and I don't break my promises." She smiles at me and I know she's on her way to being alright again. "So can we go get my belly button pierced today?" Of course she couldn't forget that bet.

I shake my head. "Meet me back at Travis' after school I guess. Then you and Jess have some shopping to do. Have fun at school squirt." She gives me an exasperated smile at me calling her squirt and peels out of the driveway. She definitely got her driving skills from me, fast and slightly reckless.

I crash back in my pull out couch to sleep some more. I haven't slept well lately. I have been hunting like crazy and I just need to relax for a bit. Dad and I have split up to cover more ground. I just need rest. I hate to admit it but it was hard on me not talking or seeing Lara for a year. She and Sam are the most important people in my life and I had to cut half of it out. I would never tell anyone this but I would sometimes listen to her voicemails when I was alone in a hotel. It helped me feel well less lonely. I wake up a few hours later and I hear Jess yelling at Sam in the living room and I can't help but laugh. She is not going to forgive him and I think she is going to be mad at him longer then Lara will be. Lara can't stay mad at us for long, maybe that is to her determent.

"Sam, she is getting a hotel room. You have ruined her high school experience and the least you can do is allow her to have a wonderful evening. She is a smart girl and she won't do anything stupid. She deserves this." I better get in there before Sam gets his arm ripped off.

Sam looks at me for backup when I come in. "Dean please tell Jess that Lara getting a hotel room after prom is not going to happen. A hotel room means one thing, sex. And I am not letting some guy take advantage of her in a hotel room because it's prom night!"

I promised Lara that I would start to trust her. "Sam we have to trust her. She told me that she is going to wait till she's married. So we just have to trust that. Anyways who would be stupid enough to force her into anything with you and me standing behind her?"

Jess gives Sam a smirk and he looks defeated. Jess cocks her hip and puts her hand on her hip. "I am flying my brother Tyler in. I promise that he will treat her like a princess. He will not do anything to her that she doesn't want, but she is 17, almost 18, and she can handle herself to be alone in a room with a guy without ripping her clothes off. How many nights did we share a bed before we actually slept together Sam? I managed to keep my pants on, don't you think that Lara can too?" With that last retort I knew that any of Sam's defenses were shut down. Looks like he has to pay for a hotel room for Lara after prom.

I meet her after school and she sits there like a trooper while Travis pierces her belly button. I got a bit queasy looking it which is stupid with what I do for a living. I have cut off vampires heads and ran through skin walker goo but seeing a needles poke out a bit of her flesh in her stomach made me sick.

2 days later

Jess took Lara to the salon to get her hair and makeup done, all with Sam's debit card. I can't stop laughing at all the expenses that Jess is making Sam pay for this night to be perfect for Lara. Lara doesn't know that Tyler is flying in has a surprise. Sam and I are supposed to go pick him up in a few hours and surprise her with him at home.

Sam's phone rings and he picks up. I can't hear the other side but it can't be good. "What do you mean he can't come?... Just his flight?... You have got to be kidding me!... No I don't know anyone who can take her… Don't worry Dean and I will figure something out. Just act normal and let her have a nice afternoon." He hangs up the phone and throws it on the couch.

"So apparently Tyler's flight has been cancelled. First the pilot was drunk and they got a new one and now the engine won't turn on. It's one catastrophe after another. So Tyler can't make it which means that Lara won't have a date for prom." Karen and Bobby come into the living room following the commotion.

Karen dries her hands off on a towel and looks between Sam and I. "Don't you have any friends who could take her Sam? Some of the guys in school still remember you from soccer." Sam shakes his head no. "All the ones I still know have dates already."

Bobby points at Sam. "Can't you just take her?" He asks. Sam starts to laugh. "Oh yea that would go over well. She is still mad at me and that last thing I think she wants is for her big brother to take her to prom. "

Everyone looks over at me and they look me over for a minute. Sam looks like he is thinking and I don't like it. "She doesn't think of you has a brother nor does anyone else in school." Sam looks over at Bobby and Karen. "He does have his FBI suit that he can wear. And he won't let anything happen to her." Bobby says.

Karen cocks her head to the side. "It might work. Call Jess and run it by her." Sam picks up his phone and dials Jess and walks out of the living room. When he comes back he is smiling and I look at all of them. "Does anyone want to fill me in on what's going on?"

Bobby claps my back. "Boy you are going to prom!" He says with a laugh. I am going to what? Prom? That is absurd. I look at Karen. "Will they even let me in? I am 26 which is totally illegal!"

"Only if you sleep with her! And your birthday was just last month so you can still tell them your 25." Sam points out. I turn around and shoot daggers at him with my eyes. "You're sick Sammy. Only if you sleep with her! I am just thinking about how the school would handle a 26 or 25 year old man showing up at a prom with a 17 year old girl."

Karen thinks for a moment. "It will be fine. I think that there is an 18 year old in her class that just got pregnant by a 30 year old." Is that supposed to make me feel better?

I look back at Sam. "I don't have a tux." He smiles, "You have your FBI suit. That is good enough. And Jess is bringing you a corsage to give Lara that matches her dress." Dammit if jess agrees then Sammy is just going to go along with it.

"Fine, but if Lara gets mad or says no then we are dropping this whole thing." They all shake their heads in agreement and I sulk back to the den. How did I get roped into this? The people at her school are going to think I am some kind of pervert who preys on young girls. I hear a knock on the door and Sam comes in.

"You better get ready. They are going to be back any minute and you have dinner reservations with her in an hour." Sam says with a smirk has he darts the shoe I am throwing at him. I dig through my duffel and pull out my suit. It's not a tux which is what is customary for prom but I guess it will do last minute. I change quickly and head back out into the living room and sit on the couch.

Lara's car pulls into the driveway and I hear Lara and Jess chattering to each other up the steps into the front door. "Now Lara I don't want you to be disappointed but your original date fell through. So we found you a backup." Jess opens the door and Lara walks in. She looks apprehensive at Jess' warning and scans the room. Her eyes land on me standing by the couch wearing a suit. For a moment her face doesn't reveal any emotion and I'm worried she is going to get really upset and run to her room and cry for the rest of the night, which would be a shame because she looks lovely in her dress. She doesn't look like a high school girl that is for sure.

"Dean?" She asks me. I shake my head yes and shrug my shoulders. "Really? You are willing to take me to prom so I don't have to go alone?"

"Of course squirt. Now apparently we have dinner reservations so we should head out." She laughs and I take her arm and escort her outside to the limo that Jess had insisted Sammy get her. Before we get in Jess discreetly slides me the corsage and I take it out and put it on her wrist. It matches her dress perfectly. Her dress is sapphire blue with silver beads and it fits like a glove. The corsage is a white rose with blue dyed tips. Jess really knows what she is doing.

We sit down in the back of the limo and she grabs my hand and smiles at me. "Thank you so much Dean. I know this isn't what you thought you would be doing on a Saturday night but it means a lot to me that you are willing to go so I don't have to go alone. I know you would rather be at some bar hooking up with bar sluts but you're giving that up to go spend the evening at a high school dance."

"It may not be what I planned on doing but now that I'm here this isn't anything else I would rather be doing. Now let's enjoy the evening, and remember it's all on Sammy so the sky is the limit." That gets a laugh out of her.

Dinner goes well and no one asks me if I am pedophile which is good. Jess made reservations for Lara at the only fancy restaurant in the area. It must have been booked up for months but by the way the waiter sucked up to us I think that Jess may have dropped a bit of money on them to make the evening special for Lara. Jess really is one of the greatest girls ever. I am so glad for Sammy that he found her

I'm not sure who is more nervous about actually going to the dance, her or me. I never went to my prom so this is totally new to me. I think she's worried that people are going to look at her with pity because she couldn't get a real date where I am worried they are going to call the cops on the old guy dancing with the teenager. As we exit the limo and head into the school gym she stops and look up at me. "Dean I think I should apologize now."

I laugh. "What could you possibly have to apologize for Lara?" I ask her. She starts to blush. "Well all of my girl friends have been harassing me about you since they saw you in the parking lot at school a few days ago. They might well flirt with you."

I can't stop laughing. "Lara don't worry about that." I start to get serious she seems like she's getting a bit upset at my reaction. "It won't matter if they swarm me I am here with you. So let's go in and have fun."

Has she predicted once we go in we are swarmed with her friends. They are giving me really sultry looks that are making me slightly uncomfortable. They are all underage. One of the girls I recognize from the parking lot comes up and gives Lara a big hug. "I am so glad you came Lara. I am really sorry about what I texted you. I think all the girls in this room are lucky you didn't come in and announce you could go to prom because most of them would have lost their dates to you."

Lara looks up at me with her big blue eyes filling with confusion. She really doesn't think she is pretty does she. I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket and I pull it out while Lara is talking to her friend. It's a message from Sammy. "Dean somehow Tyler made it and we are going to drop him off at the dance. Once he gets there you are free to go." I kind of don't feel like leaving I'm a having a good time, but this is better for Lara. I text him back. "Sounds good can you take me home to change?"

I grab Lara and take her to the dance floor for one dance before Tyler comes. "Jess has one more surprise for you tonight Lara." I say to her. She laughs. "I don't think I can take much more surprises Dean."

The song changes to a slow song and Lara looks at me uncomfortably. She has never slow danced with a guy before. "It's alright Lara." I say reassuring her. I put my arm around her back and take her free hand in mind and dance to the rest of the song. I see Tyler come in and I twirl Lara into him.

When Lara notices Tyler she goes still for a moment. She looks at me waiting for my response. I push her forward a bit and she reluctantly goes to Tyler. He catches her in a big hug and I see her relax. Before she can say or do anything I slip out of the prom. At least she'll still get the prom she deserved.

Cas' POV

"Gabriel!" I yell out frustrated until my brother appears next to me. "Zachariah is messing around with Lara's life again!"

Gabriel looks angry but he still tries to calm me down. "Brother he is just doing what he thinks is right."

I shake my head no. "He had no right to mess with Tyler's plane." I understand why Zachariah takes it upon himself to keep Tyler from Lara but he has no right.

"Brother it is alright. He made it in the end thanks to you and she will have a wonderful evening." I watch her dancing with the young man. He isn't her soul mate but she does like him and I want to her to enjoy him.

"Yes Gabriel you are right. We should stay since Dean has left to make sure she is alright." Gabriel shakes his head in agreement.

a/n hope you liked it! If you did please review!


	14. Chapter 14

Lara's POV

Seeing Tyler at prom after Jess told me he wouldn't be able to make it was a huge shock. What was an even bigger shock is that I didn't want him here. It's not I don't like him and don't want to see him it's that I knew that him being there meant Dean would leave. Lara get a grip! Of course you wanted Dean to stay he had left for a year it's nothing more than that.

I look around and I know it's no use, Dean has already left. I feel a little pang on my heart. Stop it Lara. You are being stupid. I focus back on Tyler and kiss his cheek. "I am so glad you could make it Tyler." I say to him.

He leans down and kisses my lips. "Of course babe. I wouldn't have missed it for anything. Jess told me what Sam did. He's a bit of idiot sometimes." He says with a laugh, but I don't like him calling Sam an idiot even if he is one.

If I thought everyone was focused on me before they definitely are now. It's not every day that someone changes date mid prom. I introduce Tyler to my friends and many of the girls give me jealous snarls. I really don't care what they think though. I will be out of this joint in a month and hopefully hunting with Dean.

After prom Tyler escorts me back to the limo and we take it to the hotel. I still don't understand why Jess insisted that I get a hotel after prom. I honestly think it's to prove a point to Sam that I am grown up and a responsible adult. I take out my overnight bag and Tyler breezes by the front desk. I can only assume Jess has already arranged everything and he had the key.

I follow him to the elevator and I'm shocked when we get out on the top floor and walk to one of only three doors up there. He opens the door and I am even more shocked to see that Jess had booked a suite. I can't help but laugh at the fact this is all on Sam's credit card. He deserves it that bastard.

Once he shuts the door Tyler grabs my arm and spins me around and kisses me. I kiss him back missing this. He continues to kiss me has he walks me backwards to the bed where he lays me down and covers me with his long body. I put my hand on his chest and push him up. "Tyler." I say and wait for him to look at me. Once he does I talk again. "I don't want to send mix messages but I'm not having sex tonight."

Disappoint floods his eyes but he pushes it away quickly. "That's fine Lara. I just missed you that's all. Can we still kiss?" I respond by pulling him back down to my lips. We continue like this for awhile and I even let him unzipped my dress and touch my breasts but that's as far as I am willing to let it go.

I'm not sure how much time passes but I reluctantly separate from Tyler. Honestly a few hours of making out with him makes me regret promising my angels I wouldn't have sex. I give him one last kiss and go to my bag and pull out my pajamas and head to the bathroom to change. I can hear him let out a frustrated sigh. I think he hoped I would change my mind. When I come back out he has changed into his pajamas to and is in bed. I climb in next to him and rest my head on his chest and fall asleep.

I can hear Tyler yelling for me to wake up but I can't. I need to stay under just a bit longer. I need to get the information I need from the dream. "Lara please wake up you are scaring me!" He yells again. I can't wake up yet.

That's when I hear my angels. Tyler doesn't know they are here but they are, they always are when I'm not when Uncle Bobby, Sam, or Dean. I feel Cas' presence on my forehead but I brush it off. "Gabriel I can't get her to wake up!" Uncle Cas yells at Uncle Gabe. I can hear them through my state but I can't seem to wake up. "It's alright Castiel Tyler is going to call Dean."

_He's here in me. He's killing them. He's evil. He has yellow eyes._

I need to get more information and I go back into my never ending nightmare. Before I go back under I hear Tyler yelling into the phone. "Jess I don't know what to do. She is asleep but she's trashing around, screaming, and crying! Please send Sam or Dean."

I have a bit of time before one of them show up I know that. I slip back into the dream fully trying to get the information I need. I know from experience that some of these dreams are real.

_My heart is breaking. The death of that child is just too much. He is roasting alive. I have never seen anything like it before. I try to fight him and save the child but I can't. I can only watch them burn. I didn't know it was possible to smell in a dream but it is. The smell of burning flesh is sickening. The demon in excited by the smell and it licks its lips in excitement. Through his essence I can smell what he likes. It smells has mouthwatering to him has a memorial day barbeque does to me but I want to throw up. The sound of crackling flesh will haunt me in my waking hours I can feel it. _

_ Focus Lara. Get the information you need. I look around for anything that can tell me where this dream is. I can't tell where I am until we walk by the kitchen counter. There is mail sitting there thankfully. 415 West Maple St. Cleveland Ohio. I got it. I can come back._

"Lara wake up!" I hear being screamed at me. I come to in a thrash of anguish. I scream out louder than I ever had and I choke on a sob but there are strong arms around me. I allow them to guide me back to reality. "It's alright now squirt. I got you. You are safe. I got you nothing can get you." He whispers reassuringly into my ears has he rubs my head.

Dean's POV

This isn't the way I thought the evening would go. After Jess and Sam had me go to prom I didn't think I would end up at the bar. I'm enjoying a drink and I'm talking up the girl next to me. She's fairly attractive and I think she is probably going to be inviting me to her place any minute now.

Before I can get us another drink my phone starts to ring and I pick it up seeing it's Sam. "Hey Sam what's up?" I ask him casually.

"Dean! It's Lara! Tyler called and she's stuck in a dream and he can't get up! We are headed to the hotel please come!" Lara is in trouble. "Be there in five minutes Sam." And I hang up the phone. I don't say anything to the girl who just a few minutes ago had been my focus and I throw down some money and run out of the bar.

I know I am going has fast as I can but it doesn't seem nearly fast enough. I pull into the hotel and I know it's only taken me 5 minutes but it feels like an eternity since Sam called me. I don't bother parking my car and leave it out front of the main door and run inside.

Sam texted me the room number and I hit the elevator button but it's not coming fast enough so I find the stairs and run up them faster than I knew I could. I get to their floor and I bang on the door but Tyler opens it up before I have to hit it again. "Thank God!" He exclaims.

I take a moment to examine what is going on around me. Tyler is pale and shaky. Lara is on the bed. The blankets and the sheets are ripped to shreds. She has pieces of the sheets bawled up in her little hands. Her face is pale but she is shaking and sweaty. I can see blood on her palms from her fingers digging into her hands and blood on lip where she must have bit down. Her next scream of pain brings me to action.

I run over to the bed and jump in next to her. I start to shake her and pull the shredded sheets from her hands. "Lara, I'm here. It's Dean. You need to wake up squirt." I say into her ears has calmly has possible. But she isn't responding. I know her dreams are bad but they usually aren't this bad. I can usually get her out of them. "Lara wake up!" I say more forcefully.

Her body shakes and for a moment she is completely still. Then she comes to. She lets out a blood curdling scream then she starts to sob. It's unlike any sob I have ever heard come her mouth. The sob is the sound I imagine God would have made when he found that Adam and Eve had betrayed him. Why did that idea come into my head? "It's alright now squirt. I got you. You are safe. I got you nothing can get you." I whisper into her ear trying to calm her down. I rub her head and back like I used to when she was a kid.

There's another knock on the door and Tyler runs to answer it and I see Jess and Sam coming in behind me. I look at Sam's hands and I am glad to see her dream journal. He hands it to me and gives me a nod. He is going to take Tyler and try to calm him down. Jess looks at Lara and I know she wants to comfort her but Sam pulls her away with him and takes Tyler to the couch in the other room.

"Lara, Sam brought you dream journal. Do you want to write in it?" I ask her, hoping it will bring her back to reality. She shakes her head and I move to pull away but she grabs me back to her. Without letting go I maneuver her to get a pen off the night stand.

Lara keeps her face buried my chest but she shakily grabs her journal and opens it on her lap and grabs the pen like a life line starts to scribble into her book like a mad woman. I don't look down and read what she is writing even though I would give my legs to know what has upset her so much. After writing furiously for 10 minutes she rips out a piece of paper and shoves it into my hands.

I look down and I read _415 West Maple St. Cleveland Ohio. _"Lara what is this?" I ask her looking down at her. That's when I notice that the stress of the dream has caused some capillaries in her eyes to burst and they are blood shot. It's never been this bad before.

She tries to speak but it comes out has a sob. She takes a minute and gets herself back together. "Dean…he is there… go now." She says to me through sobs. I shake my head no. I am not leaving her like this. "GO!" She screams at me while she holds onto my tighter.

I give her one more squeeze and let her go. She allows me to move and I stand up. "Go find him." She says then she lays back in the bed and rolls on to her stomach and starts to sob again. I leave the bedroom and I find Sam trying to explain to Tyler what just happened.

"So this happens a lot?" Tyler asks still kind of confused. Sam shakes his head yes. "She has been plagued with night terrors since she was a little girl." Sam tells him. Sam sees me and jumps up over to me. I see Jess slink out and go to Lara. I am glad she will be there for her.

I show the address to Sam. He looks at me confused. "Lara said he is there and I need to go. I don't know what she means but I am going. I'll call you when I get there and see what is wrong."

Sam shakes his head at me and runs his hands over his face. "Call us in a few hours in case I need to put Lara on the phone with you. You are the only one who could ever truly calm her down after one of her dreams."

I agree and I head out. I need to know who he is and how she knows he is there.

a/n if your reading this one please review!


	15. Chapter 15

Lara's POV

"No Dean! I told you that you have to wait! It's just like two months now! Besides I'm graduated now and I'm ready to go hunting with you!" I yell into the phone at Dean. It was a little over a month ago that I gave him that address to find the yellow eyed demon that killed his mom so long ago.

"Dammit Lara! You are being so god damned stubborn! You need to tell me how the hell you knew about this place and all the others you have told me about since I left!" Sammy refused to go back to California until my dreams stopped being so violent and he was here for another month. One day they just stopped staring the yellowed eye demon and I told Sammy he had to leave. He stayed with me every night. I was really bad off. I tried to avoid sleeping because it was so scary when I finally shut my eyes. I managed to stay awake in three day intervals. I think my teachers graduated me on pity alone, they could see how messed up I was. I could hardly recognize myself in the mirror. But I'm better now. I haven't had a dream that violent in two weeks now.

"Get your ass back to South Dakota Dean and pick my ass up! I will tell you when I turn 18 just like I always said I would. Now stop being a fucking baby and come get me!" I yell into the phone has I hang it up. He tells me I'm stubborn well I must have learned it from him because no one is has stubborn has him. He is like a dog with a bone trying to get the information out of me. Honestly I don't think my explanation will help him figure any of it out anyway. It doesn't make any sense to me and I've been living with it since I can remember.

There is one thing I didn't tell him though. I had to tell Sammy but he made me promise not to tell Dean until we know what it means. One night I had woken up screaming and crying and Sammy was able to snap me out of it. This is the same demon that killed his mom but that's not it. He bleed into Sam's mouth. He did it to all the other children so why not Sam?

_3 weeks ago_

_ "Lara please honey wake up!" Sam yells at me has he shakes my shoulders. I don't want to wake up. The moment I do I have to accept what I just saw. That piece of filth has been bleeding into babies mouths. "Lara please wake up!" Sam yells again._

_ I come out of it and I shoot up and grab onto Sam like he is a life preserver and I've been floating alone in the ocean for weeks. "SAM!" I yell through my sobs. He holds me tight and rubs my back trying to calm me down. I haven't been allowed to sleep alone since that night. The one night I did we all found out that I sleep walk. Aunt Karen found me in the kitchen with a knife which she luckily got away from me before I could do whatever it is I was going to do. "Sammy…" I cry out weakly._

_ "It's alright squirt. I'm here. Don't worry I am not going anywhere." I'm not worried about him leaving. I am worried about having to tell him what I saw. _

_ "Sammy I saw something about you." I whisper to him through me sobs. Sam pulls me back and looks at me quizzically. "Sammy this yellow eyed demon I am seeing is who killed your mom right?" I know it is I need him to be on the same page has me. He shakes his head yes still not knowing where I am going with this. "Sammy he didn't just kill your mom. Before he killed her, well he… he….dammit… Sammy I think he bled in your mouth." I finally spit out._

_ Sam's eyes grow large with confusion and then acceptance wash over the confusion. Somehow he knew this happened. He pulls me close to him again and holds onto me. He needs me now just like I needed him a few minutes ago. "Sammy?" I ask him_

_ He kisses the top of my head. "Lara I need you to promise me you won't tell Dean about this until I have time to figure out what that means." He looks at me and I shake my head. This isn't my secret to tell this is Sam's secret. _

_ "Sammy you need to tell Jess about all of this though. Not that blood thing but everything else. If you love her you need to let her know about your life." I saw the ring in his room. He wants to ask her to marry him. She deserves to know the truth before she says yes._

_ Sam shakes his head no furiously. "I can't bring her into this Lara." I push him back so he has to look at me. "Sam she was brought into this the moment you asked her on a date. You need to tell her before you propose."_

_ "How did you know about that?" He asks me. I shrug hoping he won't figure out I was snooping. "You were looking in my stuff?" Dammit he caught me. "Alright I will talk to her about our life, but Lara what if she thinks I'm crazy and leaves me."_

_ I know that is why he hasn't talked to her already even though they have been together for over three years. "Sam she won't leave you. She might be upset and think you are crazy but she will eventually believe you. I promise. If you need to tell her to call me." _

_ Sam shakes his head and I know he will try to tell her. I just don't know when. _

It only takes Dean about three days to make it back to Bobby's to pick me up. We had decided that I could start hunting once I graduated and I am now so I can do what I want. Aunt Karen is worried sick about me leaving and Uncle Bobby seems a bit hesitant too but this is what I want. I carefully arranged my favorite weapons in the trunk and threw my duffel in on top of it. "You sure about this squirt?" Dean asks me.

I give him a devilish grin and shake my head yes. "I know this is what I want Dean." He shakes his head and gets into the driver's side. I run up to the porch to say good bye to Aunt Karen and Uncle Bobby. I have my cell phone and we plan on coming back when we can.

Aunt Karen pulls me into a tight hug. "I am going to miss you so much darling. I love you." She says has she holds on to me. "I will miss you to Aunt Karen and I will call home has often has I can."

She lets go and Uncle Bobby grabs me. "Lara this is a lot different than training. It is difficult and scary. If you need me call me." He says to me. I kiss his cheek. I am not so naive to think this will be easy. I am going to be taking lives and saving lives. Nothing is easy about that.

Aunt Karen and Uncle Bobby gave Dean their lectures last night about me. So I know they don't need to talk to him again. I lost count how many times Uncle Bobby threatened to kill him if anything happens to me but I know he is glad I am going out with Dean to start. Dean's a good teacher and will take care of me. It's better than me just going out on my own. I jump in the passenger side and give him another smile. "Ready to hit the road?" I ask him.

He rolls his eyes at me and turns the car on, music blaring out of the speakers. I'm excited to be on the road. Doing what I have always wanted to do. Uncle Bobby helped me get all of my fake id's in order and Aunt Karen helped me get a suit. I took care of my weapons on my own. I got a holster to put a gun on under my jacket. I got another holster that slips a small gun into my cowboy boots along with a knife. I slipped my angel blade in the trunk in case I need it. I know Uncle Cas and Uncle Gabe will be watching over me but they don't worry about me with Dean too much.

We aren't on the road long when Dean's phone starts to ring. He picks it up and hands it to me. "It's my dad see what he wants." I pick it up and answer it. "Hey John, it's Lara." I say cheerfully into the phone.

I hear John laugh on the other end. "So you finally managed to convince him to take you with him I see. Well I got a lead for you guys. Should be a simple salt and burn in Minnesota. There's a ghost terrorizing the folks of St. Paul. I'm emailing you guys the information has we speak. Talk to you later." I hang up the phone and look at Dean.

"Your dad says he has a case for us in St. Paul. Some ghost acting a fool. He is sending us an email with information." Dean smiles a bit and I think that maybe him and his dad planned this. They didn't want my first real hunt to be anything to crazy or scary so they found a ghost for me. Bastards. Well I will show them.

a/n I hope you guys are enjoying this! I promise in a few chapters you will know what her dreams are about. If you have time please leave a review!


	16. Chapter 16

Sam's POV

I can do this. I can do this. She will understand and she will not break up with me. She will not think I have lost my mind and try to commit me into a mental home. I can't do this. She will not understand. She will break up with me. And she will probably try to commit me to a mental home. Dammit though Lara is right. If I want to ask her to marry me I have to tell her the truth about me and what my family does. It would be unfair to marry her and not let her know the truth.

I pick up my phone and dial Lara, she picks up on the second ring. "Have you told her yet?" She asks. "Not yet." I respond back quickly.

"When are you going to tell her Sammy?" She asks me kind of whiney.

"Tonight I swear, but you're going to be in town right? So if she thinks I'm crazy I can call you and Dean over to talk to her?" She promised they would be here.

"Yes, we are pulling in to the hotel down the street now. I told you we would be here and we are. If Jess takes everything alright I have plans to go see Tyler tonight. He has a birthday surprise for me or something. Are you still planning on going out with us tomorrow?" Tomorrow is Lara's 18th birthday and that is the other reason I made Dean bring her into town. I wanted to be with her for it.

"Has long has Jess doesn't have me sitting in a mental home I plan on being there tomorrow night. Dean says he got you a fake id and we are going out." I say with a laugh.

"Oh yea we are going to get plastered. I am going to need to after I tell him what's going on." She has kept tight lipped about her dreams since she was a kid but she promised to tell Dean on her 18th birthday and he has had no problem reminding her of that promise every day. It has been driving her nuts.

I hear a key doing into the lock and I know Jess is coming home. "Jess is getting home I will talk to you later."

"Good luck, I love you, bye." She says has I shut the phone. Jess comes in and drops her purse and school bag on the table and comes over and gives me a kiss. "How was your day?" She asks me has she opens the fridge and pulls out a bottle of wine.

"It was good." I am being stupid I need to tell her. "Jess I need to talk to you about something." She looks at me and nods waiting for me to talk. "It's really important and I think we should go sit in the living room."

"You're scaring me Sam. What's wrong?" She asks me with fear in her voice. I guide her to the couch and pull her down to sit next to me. I grab her hands and try to think up the best way to tell her. I have thought about it all day and nothing seems like the best way to start this conversation.

"Jess, there is some things about my family, about me, that you don't know. I have been terrified to tell you. It is going to sound crazy and you are going to think I have lost my mind but I promise you everything I am going to tell you is 100 percent the truth."

She looks at me and her eyes are scanning me for a sign of what I am talking about. I take in a deep breath. "Jess my family hunts things. We, well more they, hunt and kill supernatural creatures who hurt humans. My dad has been hunting them since a demon broke into my nursery when I was a baby and killed my mom."

"What are you talking about Sam?" She asks me confused.

"Demons, werewolves, ghosts, vampires, and so much more are real. They prey on humans and my family are all hunters and they hunt them down and kill them. Dean and Lara do it to. I didn't want that life and I begged my father to let me have a normal one and he agreed and I grew up with Bobby and Karen, living a mostly normal life. I went with my father and brother on the weekends and during the summer to hunt and I trained just to be able to protect myself. I don't want that life but I know I have to tell you about it." It feels good to have this off my chest.

"You said that Lara is involved in all this? Like petite itty bitty Lara?" She asks me with accusations riddled all over her tone.

"Do you remember a few years ago when Dean got hurt and I had to fly home and when I got back Lara was mad at me and wouldn't answer my calls?" I ask her.

She shakes her head slowly yes. "Dean was attacked and almost killed by a werewolf and that night Lara found out about this world. She was furious at me and everyone else for not telling her. That is why she didn't answer my phone calls. Once she graduated she insisted that Dean take her with him so that she could help."

"Sam this is crazy. You want me to believe that all those horrible things that I read about in books and saw in movies are real? They are make believe Sam not real." She is not going to believe this easily, I wouldn't either if she was telling me this is what her family does.

"I know it sounds crazy Jess but it's real. I have grown up in it and I have seen it firsthand so many times that I can't even remember all the things I have hunted down and put down. Last summer when I had to leave to help Dean with some problems he got into I was actually helping him clear out a vampire nest in Montana. There were too many of them and he needed back up. And before that when it was finals and I had to go away for two nights I was helping him kill a chupacabra that was killing people in the desert. And about four months month ago I had to go help him exorcise a demon who was killing kids. "

"Is this why sometimes when Dean calls you leave the room?" Jess asks me.

"Yes it is. Dean sucks and research. So he will call Bobby, or Lara, or me to do it for him. When he has a hunt and he can't figure out what it is he calls me to see what I can find and what I can find on how to kill it. Now that Lara is with him he won't need to call me about this stuff anymore. It can truly be out of my life." God I hope that is true. I just want a nice peaceful life with Jess.

"Well I guess this explains some of the weird stuff you do. Is this why you sleep with a gun under your pillow and you have a weapon on you at all times?" She asks me. I shake my head yes. "Is that why you have that strange tattoo?"

I lift up my shirt and show her my anti possession tattoo. "This is so I don't get possessed by any demons. If you are willing to I think it might be a good idea for you to get one too." Her eyes nearly bug out of her head but she doesn't say anything for a moment.

"So what is up the with the salt that you pour all over the apartment? Or those symbols you painted under the mat?" She is much more observant than I ever gave her credit for.

"The salt is so demons and ghosts can't get in. They can't pass over it. The symbols are devils traps. If by some fluke they managed to get in the apartment and they stepped on it they would be stuck." I hope she believes me.

"Ok." She says. I look up at her hoping she will elaborate. "If you believe this then I believe you. I love you and I trust you."

I grab her and pull her into my arms while kissing her face. "Thank you so much Jess, thank you for believing me. It has been killing me not telling you this for all these years. I thought you would think I was crazy or you would break up with me."

She laughs. "I think you are crazy but I also know you. I know you wouldn't tell me all of this unless you absolutely believe it is true. But I swear if you ever keep something like this from me again I will kill you." And I believe her threat.

"I will never keep something from you again like this. I was so afraid. We have never told someone about this stuff unless we were saving them from something. I love you so much Jess."

"I love you too Sam." She says has she leans in to kiss me.

Castiel's POV

"Gabriel we can't let her go in there." I say to him has we watch Lara climb the stairs to Tyler's apartment. Dean just dropped her off and has sped off to the local bar. Gabriel doesn't say anything he just watches her climb the stairs. "Gabriel!" I yell at him has I shake his shoulder.

He shakes me off and crosses the street. I follow him hoping that he will stop her from going into Tyler's apartment. I am going to kill Zachariah, he has officially gone too far. "He had no right to trick that boy or that girl." I say to Gabriel.

Gabriel finally stops and whips around and looks at me. "There is nothing we can do about this now. Just follow me and keep quiet."

"Nothing we can do? We can stop her and not let her go in there. He went too far this time trying to keep her in line. A cupid really!" I shout at my brother.

"I know that he shouldn't have tricked that cupid but he honestly thinks he's doing the right thing." Only Zachariah would tell the cupid that Tyler is supposed to be with some blonde girl from one of his classes and trick him into making Tyler fall in love with her and vice versa.

"It's not fair Gabriel. It is not fair that she is being punished because she had to meet her soul mate when she was 5 years old. He doesn't keep Dean from hooking up with all the women that he sleeps with!" I yell at him.

"I know it isn't fair Castiel and I want her to have a good life but she did meet her soul mate at 5 and there is nothing we can do about it. We both know that she has promised us to stay pure but not everyone trusts a promise from a human so he was just doing what he thought was best to insure that she stays pure. And well with Dean, it doesn't really matter what he does right now."

He's right and this pisses me off, but it doesn't make the situation right. "She has been through so much already. Can't we keep her from seeing this?" I ask him. I don't want her walking in to Tyler's apartment for her to see her boyfriend having sex with another woman on his bed. That isn't something I want my girl to ever have to experience.

"Even if we try to stop her our girl is curious. She will barrel her way through us to see what is going on. Just let her see it and then go back to Dean and Sam. It will hurt but something like this was going to eventually happen because she is not meant for Tyler."

I resign myself to waiting outside the apartment building. Gabriel is right, something like this was going to happen eventually. We sit and watch Lara come running down the stairs and out the front door. Her eyes are bright with fury and her hands are clenched at her sides. I want to run to her but Gabriel stops me. "This isn't our time brother." He says quietly.

He nudges me to look down the street. Sure enough Dean is coming back and he stops and picks her up. We can hear them from across the street. "What's wrong squirt?" He asks her.

"Nothing just drive." She says angrily.

"It isn't nothing Lara. I dropped you off 10 minutes ago and now you are calling me and you look pissed like you need to beat someone up."

Lara looks at him and for a moment I think she is about to cry but she pulls herself together. "He said to come over if I got the chance so I did, but…" She stops for a moment and looks at her hands. Dean puts his hand on her shoulder and she looks back at him. "He was screwing some slut when I got there Dean." She says sadly.

Dean puts his car in park and starts to get out. Lara grabs the back of his shirt. "Where are you going?" She yells at him.

He looks back at her and his eyes are wild. "To kick that punk's ass. No one and I mean NO ONE fucks with you while I am around." He shakes her off and goes to his trunk and pulls out a tire iron.

Lara jumps out of her side of the car and grabs him. "Dean please just let it be." She pleads with him.

"I can't Lara. He is cheating on you and he needs to be taught a lesson." He snarls back at her. She grabs onto him. "Please Dean I just want to leave. Please just take me back to the hotel and let's get out of here. It is one hour to my birthday and the last thing I want to start my birthday off is Tyler and his new slut. So please let's just go."

Dean looks at her and back at the apartment building. He slams the tire iron back into his trunk and stomps back to the car and jumps in. Lara follows suit and he peals off. I look at Gabriel. "It's still not fair brother, it will be years before they admit to each other how they feel."

"I know brother, I know." Is all he says back.

a/n if you're enjoying it please leave a review!


	17. Chapter 17

Lara's POV

I wasn't has angry has I should have been. I was going to break up with him anyways. We had started dating seriously after prom but I didn't like him the way I should. I would rather hunt down a ghost with Dean then make the time to call my boyfriend. It's really much more that he didn't have the decency to break up with me before he started banging some slut. He was all I couldn't stop myself I just saw her and I knew she was the one blah blah blah. He was just such a fucking liar.

"What do you want to drink?" Dean asks me. I can tell he is trying to keep his anger in check. He wants to explode but I won't let him. I can't let him beat the shit out of Tyler when I was going to break up with him anyways.

"Whiskey or bourbon I don't care which and I don't need a mixer." Dean keeps one hand on the wheel and throws his other arm in the backseat. He starts to swerve a bit and I grab onto the wheel. "Dammit Dean you're going to get us killed! What do you need?"

He finds what he wanted to and he put it in my lap. "Thanks." I say sheepishly has I pull the bottle off of my lap and take a quick gulp.

"Are you alright?" He asks me.

"Yea I am fine. I'm just pissed off that he was blatantly cheating on me. I was going to break up with him anyways. I didn't like him that much I'm just pissed that he was like come over and we can hang out and he's fucking some bimbo!" I feel better getting it off my chest to Dean, I usually do when I'm pissed.

"Sorry squirt. I don't know what else to say. Wanna go out or head back to the hotel and get wasted?" I can't help but laugh, alcohol the answer to all of Dean's problems. "Just take me back to the hotel. We're going out tomorrow night with Sam and Jess to some local bars so let's just keep it low key." I know we should just hang out in the room because tonight is a big night for me. I am going to share my dreams with him.

We get back to the room and I grab the bottle and collapse on the bed. I can't stop watching the clock. 11:35, 25 minutes till I tell him something my parents didn't want me telling anyone. They said people would think I was crazy and probably try to have me committed or at least go through a lot of therapy.

I get decent buzz going. I am going to need it. 11:59, fuck. I get up and I walk to my bags that are at the end of my bag. I pull out all 7 of my dream journals. I have never let anyone read them and no one has broken my trust and read them yet. 12:00, happy birthday to me.

Uncle Gabe and Uncle Cas appear in the room and wave at me. They know I can't acknowledge them with Dean in the room but they give me a wave and I see them drop something in my bag that is wrapped. I smile at them and sit down next to Dean on his bed. I hand over my journals. "Do you want to read them first or do want me to try to explain first?" I ask him. My voice is trembling and he knows I'm scared.

"Are you sure about this Lara? I don't want to force you to do anything you don't want to." I shake my head yes. "Yea I'm sure. It will be a relief to be able to share this with someone." And I hand over my life line.

Dean picks up the first journal and starts to read. I know what he is reading but he has on his poker face. I know him, he needs to read it first before he reacts. Gosh that first entry was made so long ago, but I knew things I shouldn't have had any clue about at that age; murder, rape, torture.

I pull my knees up to my chest and rest my forehead on my knees while he skims through my journals. He doesn't say anything he just keeps reading. After about 15 minutes I feel his hand on my knee. I look up at him and he grabs my hand. "Lara this is what you see at night?"

I shake my head yes. "I want to read them but I need to know what is going on. What is the red pen with some of them with names and dates?"

God how do I explain something I don't even understand. "Dean I should start with the fact that I don't totally know what's going on. The first time it happened my parents said I was just a toddler. It started when I was about two years old. I don't remember any of the dreams that go that far back but they said I would wake up screaming every night. They hoped I would grow out of it but has you know it just got worst."

"What happened when you were two?" He asks me.

"I don't think anything. The first traumatic thing to happen to me was when my parents died when I was 10. The dreams always feel like real time and Dean I know it's me in them." I saw quietly at the end.

"What do you mean it's you in them? Like you're the person doing it and you're watching?" Jesus this is hard to explain.

"No Dean not quite. It's me only it's not me. If you flip through you can see that some nights nothing happens I'm just asleep. I'm dreaming of me sleeping in a cell. I know it's me because I've seen myself in mirrors and I recognize my hands and my legs and my feet but it's not me. It's like a different version of me. This version of me has scars in places I don't, this version of me lives in a cell, and this version of me get's possessed quite frequently." This sounds crazy.

"So it's you but it's not you?" He sounds so confused.

"Yes I think so. I have seen this me every night since I can remember. After I found out about the supernatural world I started researching and some of my dreams coincide with actual things Dean. I can pick up on clues and I can try to research later. Some of them are impossible to track like the dreams when I am getting raped or I am stealing a soul but the ones where I kill someone I can usually find them. That's the name and the dates. Those are the names at the dates that what I saw myself do to them happened and to who. I know it can't be me but some of them happened."

"So what happened when you saw the yellow eyed demon?"

That was the worst two weeks of my life. "He possessed that me for two weeks and he did what he did to your family to babies every night. Dean every single one of them were real. Not dreams but actually happened." I can hear my voice starting to crack but I need to stay calm until I get this out.

"Well you weren't there if that's what you were thinking. There were only a few witnesses and they all saw a man leaving the house. Sounds just like the man my dad saw. So it's not you doing these things in your sleep." He is trying to reassure me.

"I don't know what these dreams are but they scared my parents. They became very worried when I started talking in my sleep, which you have heard. It's like those demons voices would go through me. Some nights are better than others. The days that I am sleeping in my cell are peaceful enough. I feel anxious the whole time I am asleep and I can hear people around my crying. Some of the people I have heard crying out at night I have found on missing persons websites. I don't know what's happening totally but some of the things I see happen and I don't know what to do."

Dean puts his arm around me and pulls me into him to comfort me. "You should have told me about this Lara. You needed someone to talk to about this. We could have tried to figure this out together."

"My parents were afraid that if anyone heard me talking about these dreams why would commit me. It sounds crazy. I mean what 5 year old has dreams of themselves getting violently rapped by sleazy men to steal their souls. Something is wrong with my head Dean." I say crying into his shoulder.

He tries to comfort me and I just cry it out. I feels good to finally have it off my chest. "Alright we will figure this out. I will read through them and see if I can find anything about the ones you couldn't trace. I will also try to find out what I can about the ones you could identify. It is going to be alright. We are going to figure this out."

If Dean is going to help me then we will figure it out. He's too stubborn to let it go. "Thanks Dean. I was afraid that you would think I was crazy or possessed of something."

"Squirt I know that you're not crazy and I know you're not possessed. But you're sure that it's you?"

I shake my head yes. "I know it is me but like I said it's not me at the same time. It's my body, my face, my soul, but it's not me. This is a me has been through things that I have never been through. This is a me that has never meet you, doesn't know my parents, doesn't know Uncle Bobby and Aunt Karen. It's a totally different me." I'm not sure if that makes since.

"We will figure it out. Don't you worry about that. We are going to figure this out and we are going to make this better." I really hope he can do this.

He stands up and I want to hold on to him a bit longer but I can't depend on him to keep me together right now. He digs through his bag and hands me two wrapped packages. "Happy birthday Lara." He says quietly.

I rip them open and the first is a new journal. I look up at him with tears in my eyes. "Thank you. They help me keep a record of what happened." I rip the smaller package open and I give him a big hug. "I love it Dean!" I say to him has I am hugging him. I pull out the necklace and hand it to him. "Put it on me." It's a delicate necklace, it is a small dream catcher made out of silver. He clasps it on me and I jump out of the bed and look at it in the mirror. It's perfect.

"I saw it a few months ago while I was hunting in New Mexico near an Indian reservation. I just thought it could help. I even had a shaman bless it." He says with a slight blush. He is so bad at doing something sweet because he hates to be emotional.

"Dean it is perfect. I Love it. I will never take it off." I say looking at it again. I hope it can help me with my dreams.

"Do you want me to tell Sam or do you want to keep this between us?" Dean asks me.

"We should tell him probably. He would be upset if I didn't tell him. We probably have to tell Uncle Bobby and Aunt Karen too but I don't know how to explain it any better to them. It just doesn't always make sense to me." I have asked my angels about it and they always try to avoid it. I don't know how to fix it because I don't understand what it is.

Dean collects the books and picks up the first one and starts from the beginning. "Can I keep these for awhile?" He asks me. I shake my head yes. "I have a new one so I don't need them right now. If you find anything out keep me in the loop."

"I will don't worry."

Dean's POV

I have waited so long to hear what has been haunting her dreams and I am shocked at what it is. I figured they would just be bad dreams, I never imagined that she would be seeing herself. These journal entries are horrible and quite frankly terrifying. I can't believe squirt has been seeing this stuff her whole life. I don't understand how she keeps herself together. I have just skimmed them but she has experienced firsthand through her dreams some of the most terrible things a person can go through. She should be a blubbering mess. I don't know how to fix this.

"You ready to go?" Lara asks me from the bathroom. We are going out tonight to celebrate her birthday. "Yea I'm ready." I say to her. She's finishing getting ready. I've been ready for 45 minutes and reading her journals.

She comes out and grabs her purse and I look up. Wow she looks great. She's wearing a tight black halter top that has a plunging neckline and her back is completely exposed, a jean skirt, and her cowboy boots. Stop it Dean it's squirt. "We're gonna walk since I don't think any of us are going to be able to drive later on tonight." I say to her and she laughs at me.

We head out and there is no problem with her fake id which is good. I didn't think we would have any problems but you never know. The bouncer couldn't keep his eyes off her chest and I had to stop myself from punching him and throwing my jacket on Lara to cover her up.

Sam and Jess are already here and sitting at a booth near the back of the bar. Lara goes running off and jumps on Sam and gives him a big hug then jumps onto Jess and gives her a big hug. "Happy birthday!" They both say to her.

I told Sam not to let Tyler come but we haven't told them what happened yet. Sam fingers the necklace she is wearing. "Who got you this?" He asks her. Lara looks back at me and smiles. "Dean got you this? Wow Dean good pick." He says to me. I feel a bit uncomfortable with him making a big deal about it.

Sam and Jess hand over a gift bag and a wrapped box. She pulls the tissues out of the bag and pulls out a leather purse. I don't get the big deal but Lara gets excited and gives Jess a big hug. She opens the box and I'm shocked when I see a gun and a holster. I guess Sam's talk with Jess went well because this is pretty obvious. Lara gives Sam a hug and quickly hides the gun in the bag she just got.

Lara goes up to the bar to get some drinks and I see her do a quick shot, girl sure can drink. Sam grabs my shoulder. "Why didn't you want me to bring Tyler?" Sam asks me.

I look over at Lara and I wait for her to come back. She comes with her hands full of drinks. "Lara do you want to tell them about Tyler?" I ask her. If she doesn't want to tell him I will but I don't know what she wants.

Her face becomes slightly flushed and she looks nervously at Sam and Jess. "Well last night Tyler told me to come over if I had time. Which I wasn't sure if you guys would need me." She throws in casually hinting at what Sam and Jess talked about last night. "Well I showed up kind of late and his front door was unlocked so I went in and well… he wasn't alone."

Jess faces turns bright red and jumps up. "He was with another girl!" She shouts out. Lara nods and looks away. "I am going to castrate my stupid brother!" Jess screams out. Sam jumps up too and starts to leave the table.

"Where are you going Sam?" Lara asks him grabbing on to his arm. "I am going to go kill that fucker. He cheated on my little sister and he is going to die."

"Sam please just let it go. It's alright. I didn't let Dean kill him and I'm not going to allow you guys to either. I was going to break up with him anyways so just let it go." Sam doesn't sit back down but he doesn't leave the bar. Jess grabs on to Lara and gives her a big hug. "Honey I am so sorry. I never thought my brother would be that stupid."

Lara hugs her back and when she pulls back Lara grabs her hand. "Holy shit Jess! Are you guys engaged?" Lara asks jumping up and down. I look at Sam and he is blushing. Sly bastard proposed to her.

Jess smiles at looks back at Sam. "Yes, he asked me last night." Jess gives Sam a quick peck. Lara gives them both a huge hug. "This is the awesome. We are so celebrating tonight."

I grab Sam's arm. "I'm proud of you Sam." I say to him. He lowers his head and shakes it off. "I want to have a life with her Dean." I know he's saying that he's out of the life and I am happy for him.

We have a fun rest of the evening. We ignore the bad stuff of Tyler cheating on Lara and her dreams for a night. I will talk to Sam about it tomorrow, tonight is for having fun. We get kicked out of the bar when it closes and Lara and I stumble back to the hotel. I'm glad she had a good night, with the way her birthday started she needed something fun.

"Thanks Dean, I had a great birthday." Lara says has she collapses in her bed laughing.  
>"I'm glad you had a good night. Don't get used to it we got a hunt in Oregon we got to get to tomorrow."<p>

Lara smiles at me and tries to get her boots off but she falls back over. She must have gotten drunker than I thought. "A little help here Dean." She says with a laugh. I help her pull off her boots and she crawls under the covers in her clothes.

"You going to change there squirt?" I ask her with a laugh. She pulls her halter off and throws it on the floor and slides her skirt off and throws it next to the skirt. I was thinking that maybe she would up on pjs but apparently that's not going to happen. "OK get some sleep." I say getting changed for bed myself and I fall asleep quickly.

"No please! Please don't! AHHHH!" I hear Lara screaming from her bed. I jump up and look over at her. She is wrapped up in her blankets and is thrashing around. The sheets are pulled out and her bed looks like she went nine rounds with a sumo wrestler. I jump over and shake her awake.

"Lara wake up. It's a dream." I say to her hoping she will wake up. She wakes up with a start and launches on to me and starts sobbing. I pull her into my lap and let her cry on my shoulder. "It's alright Lara. It's alright." I say to her calmly hoping she calms down. "What happened?"

She looks up at me and her eyes are filled with tears and she looks petrified. "It was horrible Dean. I was possessed by some demon and I tortured a family in their home Dean. I killed their children in their bed and I raped the wife with a baseball bat that I then used to kill the husband and the wife. It was horrible. I could feel myself fighting to not kill anyone but I couldn't stop it. I tried to save the children but the demon pushed me back and brutally killed them. The first one slept through it but the brother woke up and was begging me not to hurt him. Dean I saw and felt everything." I hold her and just hope that she can forget it but I know she can't. I keep her in my arms and I carry her to the end of the bed and I pull out her new journal and give it to her with a pen. She starts to scribble in her book.

"Get it all down and we'll see what we can find out about it." I've read some of her entries she tries to put down any detail no matter how unimportant it seems to make sure she doesn't miss anything. When she's done she puts the journal down on the bed and buries her head in my chest. I move to tuck her back into her bed and she clutches on to me. "Please." She says pathetically.

I pick her up and put her in my bed and I climb in on the other side of her. Once I'm in bed she wraps herself around me and cries herself to sleep.


	18. Chapter 18

Sam's POV

We all got pretty drunk last night. I would be lying if I said I wasn't feeling a bit hung over. I left Jess bowing down to the porcelain god also known has our toilet. I know that Lara told Dean her big secret about her dreams before they came out last night but Dean told me that we would talk about it later that Lara needed a normal night. I still can't believe that fucking ass hole cheated on her. He knows how protective of her we are and he willingly slept with another woman. I don't care that Lara doesn't want me to kill him I am still going to beat the shit out of him once she is out of town.

Dean told me to stop by in the morning to talk about what is going on in Lara's mind. They have to check out at 11. It's 9 am, I should have plenty of time to find out what is going on before they have to leave. I pound on the door but I don't hear any movement. I pound on the door again and I hear a muddled "Who the fuck is that?" From the other side of the door, Dean has never been a morning person.

He opens the door and I give him a shit eating grin, I love waking him up because I know he hates it. He rolls his eyes at me and opens the door enough for me to come in. He quickly shuts the door and mutters, "when did the fucking sun get so fucking bright." I chuckle to myself and allow my eyes to adjust to the dark room.

Lara isn't in her bed. Her bed looks ripped to shreds. I scan the room and I find her sleeping in Dean's bed. She groans and rolls over. Her arms are bare and her back in naked. If she wasn't wrapped up in a sheet her chest would be exposed. I am going to fucking kill him. I grab Dean by his neck and slam him again the wall. Brother or not he fucking violated my little sister. "She just turned 18 yesterday you ass hole! You couldn't wait more than 24 hours since she became legal? I am going to fucking kill you!"

Dean gives me a confused look and I slam my free fist into his face. That gets Lara up. She jumps out of bed and to my elation she is not naked like I thought she was. She is instead wearing a strapless black bra and boy cut black panties. "What the fuck Sam?" She yells at me.

I drop Dean and he slides to the ground clutching his nose, which is now bleeding. Lara kneels down next to him inspecting the damage. She looks up at me with fire in her eyes and she stands up and decks me in the eye, it will be swollen by the time I leave the room I can tell. "What the fuck is your problem Sasquatch?" She runs into the bathroom and gets a wash cloth and runs back to Dean. She blots the blood that is pouring out of his face.

"Sorry, I saw you in bed and it looked like you were naked. I figured he slept with you." They both shot daggers at me with their eyes. Lara keeps one hand on Dean's nose and fumbles around the ground with her other hand until she comes across Dean's discarded t shirt. She quickly puts it on it continues her nursing on Dean.

"Sam you are fucking ridiculous. Even if he had sex with me I'm 18 now. You need to calm the fuck down!" Lara snarls at me. I know I over reacted but I couldn't stop. I thought he had touched her.

Dean takes the wash cloth from Lara's hand and storms out of the room grabbing the ice bucket. Once he slams the door Lara hits me upside the head. "I don't even know what to do with you anymore Sam!" She yells at me.

I give her an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry Lara. I just thought he took advantage of you and you were wasted last night. You have to admit that you looked naked and you were in his bed." I respond to her.

She throws her arms up in the air and I flinch ready for her to strike me again. "I had a nightmare last night Sam. He woke me up and I couldn't imagine the thought of going back to sleep alone in my bed so he let me share with him. Nothing happened you freak!" She yells at me, with a tinge of regret at the end. What is that about?

Dean comes sulking back into the room. He puts the ice bucket down and Lara runs to the bathroom to pick up a clean wash cloth and fills it with ice and holds it to Dean's nose. She manages to get him to sit down on the bed and relax with the ice, it looks like he has stopped bleeding a bit.

"Sam if you ever sucker punch me again I will fucking end you. Do you understand?" He asks me with a chill in his voice. I resist the urge to shutter and shake my yes. "Good because I don't really want to kill my only baby brother, but I swear to God Sam, that was the last time you get away with that." I should have thought before I acted. I am usually the sane one but she is my baby sister, my best friend, and no one not even my big brother is going to take advantage of her.

We sit in silence for about 15 minutes while Lara carefully watches over Dean's broken nose. Once the bleeding is stopped and Lara is convinced that Dean and I won't kill each other we get down to business. Dean hands me her journals, and I start to skim through them.

I almost can't believe what I am reading. What she has seen, what she has been through. I can feel my blood beginning to boil and I want to lash out and punch someone again. My little sister, my best friend, has been dreaming the most awful dreams imaginable. I can't even comprehend how these thoughts filtrated her mind and took over her dreams. I start to shake in anger has I flip through the pages. Lara grabs my arm gently and I look at her. "Squirt why did you tell me about this? I could have helped you?" I say to her sadly.

She frowns and puts her head on my shoulder. "I didn't know how to explain to you Sam. It doesn't make sense to me either. I tried to explain it to Dean last night and it just doesn't come together. My parents said that since I was a toddler around two years old I would wake up with these nightmares. It took me awhile but I realized that I am me in the dreams. It's not the me you know but a version of me. I live in some kind of prison and I sleep on a sleeping bag in a cell. I get possessed and I go out on missions. I know it's me but it's not me. Everything happens in real time. If it's 3 am on March 21st here than it is 3 am on March 21st there. Sometimes what I dream actually happens, like when I woke up screaming after prom. Dean was able to find all of those victims. But sometimes it doesn't or I just can't prove it. I don't know what's happening but my parents were afraid enough to make me swear not to tell anyone because they were afraid I would be committed." She cries into my shoulder.

I look up at Dean and he nods at me. We are going to figure this out and we are going to stop these dreams. She cannot continue to live like this and I refuse to allow one of the most important people in my life to continue to see these horrible images in their dreams. "Lara we will figure this out and we will fix this, even if it means I'm still in the life a bit longer."

Lara jumps up and grabs me. "You will not stay in the life a moment longer regardless of what my dreams are. You are engaged to Jess and that is your responsibility. Dean and I will keep you posted and you will get married and have a wonderful life with your wife. Do you understand me?" I have never heard her so adamant. I shake my head yes, not planning on actually doing everything that she says. "Good because you deserve that life Sam. Dean and I can figure this out and we don't mind this life. You just worry about school. I know you have a big interview with Stanford law coming up in a few months and after that you have law school. So just keep focused on that." How can she expect me to let her go through this without my help? Dean will let me help on the sidelines and Lara will be none the wiser.

"Alright Lara." I say agreeing to what she wants me to. I leave them in their hotel getting ready to go on their next hunt. They said something about a bunch of dead bodies in Oregon that they are going to go investigate. I definitely don't miss that. Running around the country based off newspapers reports but they seem to actually enjoy it. More power to them.


	19. Chapter 19

Dean's POV

So it's not like my dad and I are attached at the hip. I mean I'm 26, I'm an adult. We have gone a long time without talking before. We tend to just do our shit and talk when we have a chance. BUT anytime one of us calls the other one and asks them to call back we always do. Especially now that I got Lara with me. He always calls back. He just has fiercely protective of her has the rest of us and wants to make sure she is alright.

"Why are we here again?" Lara asks me has we pull into Jericho, CA. I look at her and I try not to look nervous. "Dad hasn't been calling me back and this is the last place he was."

Lara shrugs her shoulders trying to look casual and not nervous but I know she is just has worried has me. These last few months have been awesome. She is a great hunting partner. She is fast, lethal, hella smart, and a great researcher. I almost can't believe I tried to talk her out of this, she was made for this. We are having a blast too. I can't remember the last time I've had so much with someone. It's been fun hanging out with her. We get ourselves into all kinds of messes. She is a great poker hustler while I get our money from pool. She plays innocent and sweet with the guys and takes all their money. She even manages to make them ok with it. I don't know how she does it.

I find the cheapest hotel in the town and pull up. Lara rolls her eyes and gives me a stern look. "Can't we once stay somewhere where the sheets aren't alive with bacteria Dean?" She asks me. I laugh and shake my head no. "You know the drill squirt. We gotta keep these credit cards working has long as we can." She shakes her head and we jump out of the impala to check in.

The guy running the hotel is old and a bit dirty. When we open the door the he looks up and he definitely isn't looking at me. His eyes go right to Lara, then right to her chest. I fight the urge to cover her up with my jacket. We have been down that road and it usually ends up with me having a black eye. She has one of my old band tshirts on only she had to make modifications. She's sewed it in so it hugs her body like a glove. She then had to cut a plunging neck line into it. She's wearing a pair of holey jeans and sneakers. I snap my fingers in front of the guy's eyes and when he comes out of his stare I make a whistle sound and point from her chest up to my face. "Up here buddy. I need a room with two beds." Lara lets out a snort behind me and the guy gives me an uncomfortable smile.

I hand him my credit card and he looks at the name. "You guys having a reunion or something?" He asks me. I look at Lara and her eyes are large. That means dad is here. "Another one of you guys checked in a few weeks ago. Paid the room up and everything."

I smile at him. "Yea we're meeting up. I still need a room though please." He runs the card and hands me a key. "Oh what room was he in?" I ask.

Lara and I head to our room and throw our shit on the bed and catch each other's glance. "Lets see what kind of shit he got himself into." Lara says has she cocks one of her guns and slips it into the back of her jeans. We walk down to dad's room and I quickly pick the lock.

We open the door and slowly walk in. "Holy shit. Your dad has lost his shit Dean." Lara stutters out to me. I quickly take in the room and I think she is right. We both walk around the room and take in everything on the walls. This hunt doesn't seem like a big enough deal to cause this kind of obsession in my dad. Lara and I only get this crazy when we're in some deep shit, and even then we've never covered an entire hotel room with a stream of our own consciousness.

I scan the pictures of the victims on the wall while she goes over dad's theories. "Well I guess we do have a hunt after all." I mutter. She looks at me and shakes her head. I pull out the newspaper article on the most recent victim and pin it up next to dad's list. I see dad's journal on the table. He would never leave this behind. I pick it up and carry it out with me.

A few days later.

We are getting a whole lot of nowhere. This is not the kind of hunt that dad wouldn't be able to finish. Yes we don't run into women in white often but it's not something he should have a hard time handling.

"I'm gonna go get a pop and some chips from the vending machine. Want anything?" Lara asks me on her way out of the door. I shake my head yes and continue to look at the walls. "Just get me what you're having." I say without looking at her. She knows what I like. What am I missing? This hunt can't be what messed him up.

My phone starts to ring and I look down and it's Lara. I pick it up. "What can't go 10 feet without talking to me now?" I ask with a laugh.

"Dean it's the police get out. Finish the hunt and we'll meet back up after." She says then the phone goes dead. You have got to be fucking kidding me. How much worse can this day get. I jump up and look out the window.

Two cops are walking up to Lara. She is standing there cocky has ever, I can't help but laugh. "You are in some serious trouble miss." The cop says to her. She smiles and looks at him sweetly. "What seems to be the promise officer?" She asks him while she actually bates her eyelashes at him.

The cop starts to blush and stutter a bit on his words. Damn that girl is good. "You have been impersonating a US Marshall and you have been using a fake credit card. Where is your partner?"

Lara smiles almost seductively. If this works I am going to be happy she's not arrested but pissed that I can't pull that off. "What partner officer? I am here all on my lonesome." She actually walks up to him and trails her finger down his chest. I feel the urge to go out there and hit that fucking cop. How dare he flirt with my Lara! Where the hell did that come from?

The other cop elbows the one talking to her and it seems to bring him back to reality. "What's your name?" He asks briskly.

"Tawney Kitean." She purrs out to him. Both officers give her a frustrated sigh. One throws her on the hood of the car and starts to read her the Miranda rights while the other one comes towards my door . Time to make my escape. I'll get her out later. She can handle herself till then.

I make it out just in time and luckily they didn't take my baby. I wait till they are gone and sneak into my car and head out. I head to the cemetery that she is buried in and I see that dad has already salted and burned her bones. What the hell is keeping Constance Welch here then? God damn woman in white, nothing can be has simple has a salt and burn these days.

I jump back in my car and pick up my phone. Time to get her a distraction. I dial 911 and wait for the operator. "This is 911, how can I help you." The operator asks.

"There was a shooting, I think everyone is dead, come quick to Glen Crest Dr." I say making my voice sound out of breath and excitable then quickly slam my phone shut. That should get the police all out there. Now all I got to do is wait for Lara to call me and tell me she is out.

It doesn't take long, only about 15 minutes, and my phone starts to ring. I pick up on the second ring. "How was the big house squirt?" I ask cheerily.

She lets out a laugh. "Thanks for the distraction Dean. It was fine. Where you at? Let's gank this bitch."

I laugh into the phone. "I'll come get you. Meet me at the diner where we meet with the vics girl friend." I'm not paying attention to the road and I look up just in time to see a woman in white standing in the middle of the road. "FUCK!" I scream has I tear through her. I look back and there is no body in the road.

"Dean what's going on? You ok?" I hear Lara yelling into the phone.

"Yeah Lara I am fine. Just ran into…" I look in the rearview mirror. "FUCK!" I yell and the phone goes dead.

"Take me home." Constance says from the back seat. I look back at her in shock. "Umm… no…" I stutter out. Wow I sound like an idiot.

"Take me home!" She demands. I slam the brakes on and move to get out of the car but the locks come down. I quickly face forward to take the keys but the god damn ghost is moving the fucking car and there is nothing I can do about it.

The drive is long, silent, and tense. I don't speak and that Constance bitch sure has hell isn't saying much. We slowly pull up to a rundown house and the car turns off. "I can never go home." She says sadly. I turn around and she's gone. I let out a sigh of relief. Maybe she's gone. I throw my head back on the seat and take in a deep breath.

The car gets cold and there is a pressure forming on my legs. I look up and Constance is straddling me. "I'm so cold please warm me up." She says to me while she throws her tits in my face. I try to push her off me but she keeps telling me how cold she is and rubbing herself up on me.

She moves the seat back and starts to move towards my mouth. I definitely didn't think I would have a ghost trying to take advantage of me when I woke up this morning. "You can't kill me Constance. I'm not in relationship so I'm not cheating."

Constance smirks at me has she lowers down getting ready to kiss me. "Oh I think you are. That dark haired girl I saw you with on the bridge. You love her and I think she loves you back. You're about to cheat on her." She moans into my ear. She moves her cold lips to mine and I try to resist her. She is fucking freezing. She moves against my mouth and tries to force entry into my mouth. I try to push her off me but she continues to kiss me.

She finally disappears and I let out a sigh of relief. Bitch must have gotten the hint I wasn't interested. What was she talking about Lara? We aren't together? I wasn't cheating on her? Why would she think we are together? Why did she say I like her? I mean yeah lately I haven't been hooking up with every woman I see at a bar but that's not because I like Lara. I just can't be bringing back bar sluts to a hotel room I'm sharing with her. Pull your shit together now isn't a time to have a soul searching debate with yourself.

OH MY GOD! The pain in my chest is intense. I can't breathe it hurts so bad. I grit my teeth hoping to find a way to stop the pain. Constance. Dammit! She appears again and she is straddling me and she is digging her hand into my chest. I try to get to the keys of the car. If I can get the car into the house maybe she'll get the fuck off me. I let out a scream.

BAM! "Get the fuck off him bitch!" I hear after the shot gun blast that tears a rock salt filled bullet into the bitch currently trying to kill me. "Dean you alright in there?" She yells.

I claw at my shirt and lift it up. The spot over my heart is red and angry. "Yea I'm fin…." Constance is back on me trying to rip my heart out. I manage to grab the keys and slam the gas. The car goes flying through the front of the house and she disappears.

"DEAN!" Lara yells somewhere behind me. I shake off the crash and start to stumble out of the car. Lara is next to me in instant helping me out. "Holy shit! What were you thinking?"

"What was I thinking? You just shot the window out of my baby!" I say sarcastically back at her. She rolls her eyes at me. A dresser comes out of nowhere and pins us up against the car. I look up and Constance is coming at us. Lara dropped the shot gun in the impact and is frantically trying to grab it.

"Mommy?" I hear from behind Constance. She whips around and is confronted with two little girls. I look over at Lara and her eyes are nearly bugging out her head. The girls grab their mom and after a terrifying ghost death she dissolves into a puddle on the floor.

"What the fuck." Lara groans next to me. I look at her and laugh. "Still glad you went to work with me?" I ask her.

a/n so sorry it took me so long to post this. I have finals at school, my house is torn up, and tons of hours at work. But finals are coming to an end and work is calming down. If you got time please review!


	20. Chapter 20

Lara's POV

"I am going to kill your dad when we find him! I don't give a fuck why he ran off he is going to get his ass kicked!" I yell has I slam the door to our hotel room shut and fling my tired body on the mattress.

Dean lets out a laugh behind me. "It wasn't that bad Lara." He says with a chuckle. "Says the guy who was making out with a ghost!" I retort back.

"I was not making out with her. Bitch totally raped me!" He says pathetically back. I can't stop laughing at him. I snuggle into my pillow and close my eyes for a moment. "Wanna go out?" He asks me from the bathroom where he is washing his face, probably trying to get ghost saliva off his mouth.

I let out a moan. "I want to go to sleep. I spent most the day in a police station getting questioned and threatened. So I want to stay in bed." He always likes to get plastered after we finish a hunt.

Dean is over at my bed in a second, sitting next to my face. "What do you mean threatened? Do I need to go back there and kiss some ass?" He asks moving the hair off my face.

"The cops were just trying to get a rise out of me. They played a little bad cop good cop. The one guy told me if I didn't cooperate they were going to send me to prison and become some lady named Bertha's bitch." I say trying to get him to laugh but he doesn't seem to be having any of it.

"Oh that would be quite the sight." He says cupping my cheek.

"Not to mention when they found all the shit in your dad's room they thought I was some kind of Satan worshiper. The one cop actually… it doesn't' matter. " I just enjoy him touching my cheek. Somewhere along the way, I'm not really sure when, I realized I love him. I feel in love with my best friend, my hunting partner, like an idiot.

"What doesn't matter?" He asks me angrily.

I move slightly and take off my jacket pulling my tshirt's arm up a bit exposing a big hand shaped bruise on my upper arm. "He didn't like the answers I was giving him and he got a bit rough." I say softly.

Dean's jaw clenches and I can see him battling for control over his anger. He balls up his fist and holds it tightly for a moment before slamming it down on the nightstand. He stands up and goes for his gun. "I am going to fucking kill him!" He states.

I jump out of the bed and grab his arm. "Dean it's fine. I'm a hunter. This is hardly the most horrible thing that has happened to me. Hell it's not even the worst bruise I've gotten this month. Calm down, let's just go to bed alright." I beg him trying to calm him down.

Dean throws his gun back down in his bag. "Fine I won't go kill that fucker but if I see him again I am going to beat the shit out of him." I let out a chuckle and start to dig through my bag for my pajamas. I find my favorite sleeping shirt, an extra large Stanford tshirt, that is ridiculously large on me but it makes me feel happy and safe. Sam had given it to me for my birthday a few years ago. I pull out a pair of yoga pants and head to the bathroom to change.

When I come out ready for bed Dean is still dressed checking himself out in the mirror. He looks at me and raises his eyebrow in a question. He wants to know if it's alright with me that he goes out. I shake my head and try not to frown. "Have fun, just don't bring back any bar sluts to the room. I need my beauty rest." I say at the end trying to cover up my jealousy.

Dean smiles at me and picks up his keys. "I'll be back later. I have my phone if need you need anything. You going to sleep alright?" He asks me nervously. Since I have told him about my dreams he has really consciousness of all the issues that come with them. He helps me track them down in the morning and helps me wake up from them.

I shrug my shoulders. "The last few nights I've been in that cell so I have to assume I'll be back out there soon." I like the nights when I'm in the cell far better than the ones I'm not but it still fills me with dread knowing the next night I might be out. 

He shakes his head knowingly and gives me a weak smile. "Salt the door after I go." I wave him off and quickly salt the doors and windows behind him.

I throw myself on my bed and let out an angry moan. Why does he have to go out and try to hook up with random sluts? Can't he tell I am crazy about him? Dammit! He just looks at me like I'm a little girl. I'm his squirt and that's about all I'm ever going to be to him. It's better to be his squirt than nothing at all. God I wish I wasn't 8 years younger than him. Hell for that I guess I wish he didn't think I was his kid sister because I definitely don't have sisterly feelings towards him. I never really did. Now with Sammy I always saw him has my older brother. For some reason even when I was kid I never thought of Dean has my brother, I thought of him has my cool older friend. Then along the way I started to think of him differently. He was my hot friend. Then he was my hot friend that I liked. Now he's my hot friend who I can't seem to think of anything else but him all the time. DAMMIT LARA! GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!

I finger my dream catcher necklace for a moment. I have been with him nonstop for a few months now. It's great in the sense that I am always near him but it sucks in the sense that I am always near him! I think he's calmed down his manwhore tendencies a bit since we started hunting together but he still hooks up with random girls from time to time. Thank god he's considerate enough to not do it in the bed next to me. He usually just hooks up with them in bathrooms, the car, or their place. So it's not totally up in my face but still I have to hear him sneak in to the room in the middle of the night.

I have no one to even talk to about my ridiculous crush. No crush isn't right. Crush insinuates that this is childish flight of fancy. That in a few weeks I'll be over it. This is something that I can tell will come to define me. Oh that's real dramatic Maywin! Uncle Cas and Uncle Gabe are definitely out. They are angels for heaven's sake and I can't bother them with human love interests. Thinking of them makes me touch the ring they gave me for my birthday. They said they blessed it so it would offer me some protection on this new journey called hunting. I just wish I could talk to Sam about it, I talk to him about everything, but this would be ridiculously awkward. I can just imagine that talk. "Hey Sammy guess what I'm in love with your brother." Then Sam's response, "I am going to fucking kill him after I get you some profession help." I guess maybe Jess would talk to me about it. She would not betray my trust and talk to Sam about it and she wouldn't get all over protective big brother on me and try to beat Dean up like Sam would and has done.

My purse is on the floor near the door. I get out of the bed and stomp over to my bag and dig in it for my phone. I finally find it and carry it back with me plopping down on the bed once again. I flip it open and search through my contacts. I hit dial and within 4 rings she picks up. "Hey Lara, what's up?" She asks me cheerfully.

I let out a smile at her voice then tense up. "Is Sam with you?" I ask her.

"No he's at the library studying for a big test he has Tuesday and prepping on some stuff for his big interview he has tomorrow for Stanford law." She says proudly.

I let out a sigh of relief. Good I can be open with her. "Jess can I talk to you about something and you promise never to tell Sammy?"

She lets out a laugh on the other side of the line. "Of course sweet heart. You can tell me anything."

Deep breathe Maywin. Deep breathe. "I love Dean." I just blurt out quickly wincing at my confession. It's the first time I've ever verbalized it.

There's a slight pause on the other side of the line. "I know you are."

"What you know?" I ask stunned. So much for my big revelation.

She chuckles quietly into the phone. "It's obvious Lara."

"Shit does he know? Does Sam know?" I ask getting excitable.

"No Dean and Sam are oblivious, but I've known for a while. It's just so clear to me. I've known since prom. When you were with Tyler in that hotel room and you had that nightmare. It was only Dean that could bring you back. I mean come on Lara you became a hunter for him."

"I did not!"

She laughs into the phone. "If you want to believe that him being one didn't play a small role in your reasons to become one then please continue living in denial but you called me for a reason so I think you know that it definitely factored into your decision making process."

I practically snarl into the phone. "It's not the only reason. Those things have haunted my dreams since I was baby and I'm great at this."

"I know you are Lara but if Dean was a mechanic do you think you would still have become a hunter? Or do you think you would have offered to open up a shop with him. Not that you don't have mad skills with engines too but you know what I mean." Well doesn't she just think she knows it all.

"Ok so say you are right and I did all of this because of him what do I do now. How do I make myself stop liking him?" I whine into the phone.

"Well you have a few options here. First of all you could just tell him how you feel and see what…"

"NOT HAPPENING!" I yell in to the phone which is followed by a loud laugh on her end. "Second you could just do what you're doing now and ignore it. Or thirdly you could watch him and realize he likes you too."

"Uh?" I ask her confused. Him like me?

" Jesus you Winchester, Singer, Maywin crew are dense as hell! Don't you see how he acts with you? He gets jealous and overprotective over any guy that hits on you, holds you when you have a nightmare, and according to Sam he has been manwhoring himself a lot less lately. You both need to just need to get drunk and hook up!"

Him like me? That's not possible. "I'm 8 years younger than him Jess. He looks at me like I'm his little sister." I say pathetically back to her.

"Oh honey he looks at you but he does not look at you like his little sister that is for sure. He looks at you like a man who was wandering the desert for a month looks at water. So what if you're younger he's emotionally 12 anyway!" She says trying to make me laugh.

I laugh into the phone. "Thanks Jess, I knew I would feel better if I called you."

I can almost feel her smiling at me. "Anytime sweetie. You know you can call me for anything. Hey hold one for a minute I think Sam just got home." She pulls the receiver away from her but I can hear her in the back ground.

"Sam? Is that you sweetie? I have some cookies in the kitchen if you need something sweet after your study session… Sam? Are you alright….. "

"JESS!" No answer. "JESS!" No answer. Dial tone.

For a moment I sit there stunned and panic. Then my hunter's instincts kick in. I quickly dial Sam. He picks up after a few rings with a laugh. "Hey Lara what's up?'

"Sam, go home right now. Something is wrong with Jess." I blurt out to him.

I can hear his chair slide on the floor and him moving out of the room. "What's wrong?" He asks me, fear creeping into his voice.

"I don't know Sam. We were on the phone then she thought she heard you come home then she started screaming and the line went dead. I am going to call Dean. We are headed down right now." I tell him while I quickly pack our bags and throw them over my shoulder heading for the door. Thank god the bar is close by and Dean decided to leave the car here and not drink and drive.

"I'll call you when I get there. It is probably nothing." He tells me trying to reassure himself just as much as me. Then he hangs up. I get in the car and drive a little too fast to the bar. I pull up to the front door and don't bother parking and jump out running by the bouncer still in my pjs.

Dean is at the bar talking to some bimbo blonde. She is leaning into him trying to give him a good peak at her tits, real classy slut. He must have heard me come in because he makes eye contact with me has I run up to him and he puts his hand up to shut up the blonde. He may be trying to score but at least anytime I really him he is there for me. "Lara what's wrong?" He must be able to tell I am freaking out.

"It's Jess. I was on the phone with her and something happened. We need to go now." Dean doesn't even bother saying bye to the blonde. He pulls out his wallet and flings money on the counter not caring what he left and we head out the door.

I throw him in the keys and he slips into the passenger side. He turns the car on and hits the gas. After about 20 minutes my phone rings, it's Sam. "Sam?" I ask him. Nothing. "Sam?" I ask a little more afraid.

"Jess…dead…demon…mom…" He mumbles to me almost incoherently into the phone. I can tell he is barely holding it together and is about to break down.

"Sam we will be there has soon as we can. Please just stay put."

"Jess gone." He says pitifully into the phone.

"Sam I want you to go somewhere public and safe and wait for us. Go back to the library and we will be there soon." I demand him. He doesn't respond and I hear his phone fall down and hit the ground. The sounds of him weeping can be faintly heard in the background.

Dean grabs my arm looking for answer. "I'm not sure Dean. I think that the demon that got your mom just killed Jess." Dean's face pales and he hits the gas a little harder.

We get there in record time and we storm the library looking for him. We don't have to go far, he is sitting right out front. He's in shock. His face is pale and his body is shaking. His eyes are glazed over. We run over to him and I knell down in front of him while Dean stands in front of him. "Sam?" We both say at the same time.

He looks up at us but doesn't focus on us. "Jess is dead."

I pull him to me and hold him tightly. I can feel the tears coming down my cheeks. He holds on to me and starts to cry into my shoulder. Dean rubs his back and doesn't make fun of him for crying. Once he cries himself out he stands up and shakes it off and looks at us. "I want back in. We have work to do." He says coldly.

I shake my head in agreement and look up at Dean. His face is tight and I can tell he wants to kill or at least punch something. Dean grabs Sam's arm. "We'll find that fucker and annihilate him."

Sam's POV

She's gone. My world is gone. Pain, anger, the need for revenge become all I am in a matter of moments.

a/n if you get a chance reviews are really appreciated!


	21. Chapter 21

Dean's POV

When I say Sammy has been a bit off I guess I mean he has been a complete mess. It's been a few weeks since Jess died and dad still hasn't made contact with us. I think it is making Sam even more upset and quite frankly it's starting to piss me off. I'm not asking dad to fix it because he can't but the least he could do is pick up the god damned phone and tell his youngest son that it will be alright and he knows what he's going through and he will do everything to find that asshole and kill him. During the day Sam is strong almost borderline jaded. He wants to hunt, he just gets shit taken care of. He wants to kill everything we come in contact with, it's his big revenge plot. He wants everything and anything that knows what killed Jess to die. At least we have a name now. Lara's dreams have given us a name, Azazeal. Sam has tried some pretty crazy shit trying to summon it but nothing has worked so far.

Then the night time comes. Lara gives me a meaningful look and I know it's time to leave. I head out under the pretense that I am going to go to a bar, get drunk, and fuck some bar fly. Sometimes I do just that and sometimes I just sit outside the hotel room in my car. Lara and I have an unspoken code that when Sam finally goes to sleep she turns off the light and I know it's good to come back in. I would sit there with them but I know that Sammy won't get all emotional with me and quite frankly I don't want to go all chick flick with him so I allow Lara to take over this one.

Once the light is turned off and I know I am safe to go in I make my way back into the room. The nights I actually do go out to the bar I come back it's easier to handle. The nights I am sitting outside I head right in and I see the aftermath of his breakdown. Lara is usually propped up against the headboard rubbing Sam's back. He is curled into a little (well little is relative term for a giant) ball pressed into Lara's side. I can see that his eyes are red and blotchy and so are Lara's usually. She gives me a nod that everything is alright and I slip into my bed. Usually after a few hours Lara starts screaming bloody murder and I go wake her up, bring her to my bed, and try to go back to sleep. I usually can't seem to fall back asleep. I just lay there listening to both of them breathing heavy. They both toss and turn and usually in the morning both beds are messed up if not torn to shreds.

Well I guess when I said that Sam is a mess I meant that all of us are a mess. Lara and Jess were really close and Lara isn't handling it well. I liked Jess a lot but my bigger problem is seeing my brother and Lara being so upset.

This night I have decided to just drink in my car. I got myself a 6 well I shouldn't lie I guess 12 pack and I have set up shop in my impala. I have been out here for two hours now but finally the light turns off. That's my sign that it is safe for me to come back in. I put my key in the door and open it. They look the same as they always do. Lara is wearing the old Pantera tshirt that I was wearing the first day we meet and a pair of black shorts. She's propped up against the headboard and if I didn't know every facial expression on her face I might think she was just relaxing but I do know all of her facial expressions. She is heartbroken and she misses the best girl friend she ever had.

Lara looks up at me and gives me a pathetic excuse for a smile and motions down at Sam for me to be quiet. He looks rough. His face is red and splotchy and his head is on her lap. She is running her fingers through his hair and every time he starts to mutter she holds him closer trying to bring him comfort. She is doing a great job taking care of him but no one is taking care of her. She looks tired. I cross the room quietly and touch the side of her face. "You doing ok Lara?" I ask her in a whisper.

She shakes her head, turns her face into my hand, and I see her face tighten up. Lara is fighting not to start sobbing and a single tear escapes her eye. I lean down and kiss her forehead. "Squirt do you need to talk?" Sam starts to mutter and flinch and Lara quickly pulls him closer and rubs his back. Once he calms down she looks back up at me.

"It's alright Dean. I know you don't like to have heart to hearts. I am fine." I can hear her trying not to sob and I want nothing more than to shake my head and sit back down in my bed and pretend she's fine.

"Lara if you need to talk you know you can talk to me." She just stares at me. "I'll even let you do my nails while you talk. I hear red looks good on me." I say with a quiet laugh hoping to bring a smile to her face.

I get the desired response and she gives me a weak smile. "I am fine Dean. I just loved Jess. I miss her. She was like a sister to me and I miss her. I was on the phone with her Dean and I could hear her die. I heard it. I could have saved her if…" She just stops and looks behind me. I quickly turn around and I don't see anything.

"Lara?" I ask waving my hand in front of her face. She quickly looks up at me and starts to blush. "Sorry, I am fine. Go to bed, we need sleep." Lara pushes herself down under the covers and Sam rolls into her. I change and get into my bed, close my eyes and quickly fall asleep.

"Please stop. I don't want too." Lara starts to mumble. My eyes fly open and I sit up. "GOD PLEASE DON'T!" She starts to scream. I jump out of bed and grab her shoulders. I shake her hard and her eyes flutter open. "Dean?" She cries out.

I put one arm under her naked legs and another behind her back and lift her out of Sam's bed. She curls into me and puts her head over my heart and starts to sob. I can feel the tears on the skin of my chest, they kind of tickle. "Hush now Lara. Go back to sleep." I saw softly into her ear. She continues to cry but its silent tears now and she's not screaming.

Sammy flails around but quickly falls back asleep spreading himself out over the bed much like he used to do. I have no clue how Jess could sleep with him when he apparently thinks he's a star fish when he sleeps.

I drop Lara softly on the bed and she pulls the covers back up over her. I do a quick room check and get into the bed next to her. She's back asleep in minutes. Sam may think he is a star fish but Lara thinks she's an octopus. Within moments I am ensnarled in her limbs. I know I should untangle myself and take the floor but I can't help but let out a laugh and try to fall back asleep myself.

Ring, Ring, Ring,

"Dammit can someone turn off that god damned phone?" I yell into my pillow.

"Hello?" Sam asks into the phone. "Dad?"

*a little while later*

"Sam don't do this. Don't you leave." Lara pleads Sam has he grabs his stuff and gets out of the car. Sam looks back at her. "Lara I am sorry but I can't stay here and do what dad wants because he told me to. I am going to California and I am going to find dad and find that demon and kill him."

Lara gives Sam a defeated look and runs up to him and gives him a big hug. She whispers something into his ear that I can't hear and runs back to the car getting into the passenger seat slamming the door. "Sam don't be stupid." I tell him bluntly.

He rolls his eye at me and starts to walk down the road. "Sam get back in the car. I am leaving in 5 seconds with or without you."

"See yeah Dean." He yells back not turning around. Dammit! He is so god damned stubborn I could scream! I do the same thing that Lara did just a minute ago and get into the driver's seat and slam the door shut. "FUCK!" I yell has I hit the steering wheel.

Lara puts her hand on my arm. "It's alright Dean. He'll be back." I whip my face around and look at her. "How can you be so sure?" I yell venomously back at her. She winces at my tone of voice. I didn't mean to yell at her like that.

"I just know these things. Now take that attitude and shove up your ass Winchester!" She barks at me slumping into her seat looking hella pissed off. I know better than to piss her off.

We drive in silence for a while until we come into the town that dad told us about. Has I pull the car in park and we get out I grab her arm. "Lara I'm sorry." She gives me a smile. "I know you are asshole." Then she gets out of the car.

When Lara and Sam investigate they are only ever two rolls partners in whatever bureau they work for or siblings. For some reason Lara and I are always either partners or a couple. She runs to my side of the car grabs my hand pulls me to the shops.

The only restaurant in town says Scotty's café and there is a surly looking gentleman sitting outside of the restaurant. Lara puts on her charm and drags me with her to the gentleman. "Hi sir, I was wondering if you could help my boyfriend and me. Our best friends came through here about a year ago and we haven't heard from then since. We are trying to find them and I am really hoping you remember seeing them."

No man can withstand Lara's charm and he breaks into a smile. "Call my Scotty little lady." He says with a wink. I want to roll my eyes I know Lara will sense it and elbow me in the stomach. She hands him the pictures and he looks over them. "Sorry little lady I can't say that I remembering seeing this folks come through here but a year was a long time ago. I hope you can find them."

She flashes him a smile and pulls me with her to the gas station. There is car with New York tags at the service station and Lara gives me a nervous glance. Whatever is going on here it looks like they may have found their next out of town victims.

A bell rings when we enter the station and we are greeted by a husband and wife. They are a bit standoffish but Lara charms them like she does everyone. I honestly zone out for a few minutes while she talks to them and look around the store for any kind of clues. I run into a young girl coming into the shop with a box. "Did he have a tattoo?" She asks Lara. That gets my attention back on track.

"Yes he did." Lara hands her the picture and the girl looks at it. She shakes her head and I can see her thinking. "Yea they were here. We fixed their car and gave them directions."

Lara turns around to the father and puts on her best smile. "Do you remember what time they left and where they headed?" Within 20 minutes of her talking to the townies we are on to our next spot. Girl is good.

We are driving down a Orchard Rd which is probably named after the giant orchard we are passing. "DEAN! Stop the car!" Lara yells. I slam on the breaks and give her an incredulous look. She rolls her eyes at me and we climb out of the car. I don't know what made her want to stop but there must have been something. We search the orchard in silence until I hear Lara let out a muffled scream. I run over to her and she is covering her hand with her mouth and pointing up at a scarecrow.

I grab the latter and climb up it going to where Lara is pointing. Holy shit. This thing is wearing the dead guy! "We got ourselves a problem here." I say back down to Lara.

We get back to the impala and she starts to go through all the pagan books we have. She brought quite the collection along with her and I thank my lucky stars that she likes to research because I sure as hell don't.

The last few hours have been spent in a foreclosed house in the next town over. I guess that girl was right when she said that other towns weren't doing so great and they were blessed. We are holing up here while Lara researches what we are up against. "Call him." Lara tells me without looking up from her current book.

"No."

"Call him."

"No." We have been doing this for hours now.

She slams her book down and looks up at me. "Call him this second Dean! He is your brother and you need to understand why he needs to do this."

"No." I say back to her.

"You call him this moment or I will shot a hole through your favorite shirt." She says with a smirk.

I look down at my shirt. It is my favorite gray shirt and she knows it. It's nothing special I just like how it feels. I look up at her and meet her gaze. "N, O, spells NO!"

She quickly grabs her gun aims it at my arm and shots. I jump out of reflex and sure enough I look down at the sleeve of my shirt and there is a long tear along it. I look at her and she blows over her gun and I look behind me and there is a hole in the wall. "What the fuck Annie Oakley! You could have killed me!" I yell at her ripping my shirt off.

I throw it at her and she catches it laughing at me. "I told you to call him or I would shot a hole in it. Now call him or I will shot something else and you know I will!"

God damn her she is crazy. I grab my phone and dial Sam and wait for him to pick up, I don't even know if he will. After 6 rings he picks it up. "Dean?" He asks me.

"Yea Sammy it's me."

"What do you want Dean?" Sammy asks me obviously pissed off. Lara gives me her best I will kill you face.

"I just wanted to make sure you were alright. Lara threatened to shot me if I didn't call. She already shot a hole through my shirt." She aims her gun at me and mouths, fix it.

I hear Sam laughing on the other side. "That should teach you to get her mad. I'm fine Dean. I am at the bus stop. The next bus leaves tomorrow."

We are both quiet for a moment. "Sam I just want you to know that I understand why you had to leave. I really do even if it doesn't seem like I do."

"Thanks Dean."

"Just… just…" Dammit I hate this. "Just think about coming back when you're done. I mean Lara really misses you."

"Tell Lara I miss her too and Dean, I miss you too. Bye."

"Bye Sammy." I hang up the phone and look at Lara. "You happy now?" I snap at her. She smiles at me. "I am thank you. Now come over here I think I found something."

This orchard is sure has hell creepy at night. That couple should be stopping by here any moment and we need to save them. We are across the street afraid to enter the orchard until we know how to kill it but we need to save the couple. Sure enough their car breaks down in front of the orchard and the couple gets out. They start walking into it like a couple of idiots from a bad horror movie. I look at Lara and we both take off after them.

Shit, the pagan god has them both. We both lift up our guns and shot that god. He drops the couple and we grab them and high tail it out of there before he can get us. We throw the couple into the back seat and take off to the next town. "What about my car?" The man whines at us.

Lara jumps up on the seat and turns around sticking her butt out. "Are you fucking crazy? Your car? That is what you are worried about?" I force my eyes to stop staring at her ass and look in the review mirror and the guy is blushing. When did Lara's ass get so attractive? When did she start wearing tight jeans for that matter? "You almost got killed tonight. We will take you back tomorrow." She sits back down and rolls her eyes at me.

The next morning we drop the couple off at their car and head back into town. We still aren't sure how to kill it but we know that the town is in on it. Their yearly sacrifice is what is keeping their town successful compared to the rest of them.

Lara heads to Scotty's café hoping to snoop around with the locals some more. We open the door and Scotty points to an open table and comes over to us. "What can I get you guys?" He asks Lara with a smile not even looking at me.

"How about two coffee's and two slices of that wonderful apple pie I have heard so much about." Scotty smiles and heads back to the kitchen. Lara looks back at me and I can see her mind turning. "Fire."

"What?" I ask her a little confused.

"We need to burn the original tree that the scarecrow is attached too. It has to be in that orchard we just got to find it." She says looking around making sure no one is listening to us. I shake my head in agreement. That makes sense.

Scotty brings back two coffees and two slices of pie and puts them down in front of us. He offers us milk and sugar but we both say no and start to eat. "This pie is really good Scotty." Lara says with a smile.

"Thanks, it's the apples in this area they are better than anywhere else." I don't feel so great, I feel really sleepy. I guess we didn't sleep to well last night saving people from getting eaten by pagan gods and all. "But I think you both already know how special our apples are don't you?"

I try to stand up and Lara reaches for her gun but I fall over and Lara doesn't seem to have any control over her body. "Dean?" She asks me then it all goes black.

My hands hurt. I slowly open my eyes and I am in that orchard. Fuck. I look up and my hands are tied above my head. Double fuck. I quickly scan the area and Lara is still sleep next to me. They tied her hands above her head. Triple fuck. I can just about touch her with my foot if I try. "Lara." I say kicking her with my foot. She slowly opens her eyes and looks around frightened. "Lara, it's ok. We are going to get out of this." I say trying to reassure her.

"It's not going to be alright guys. You are going to fix what you ruined last night." A man's voice says from the orchard. Slowly we see the townspeople surround us.

"You guys are sick you know that. Killing people for your own gain." Lara snarls at them. They all laugh and look at the both of us. "We don't actually kill anyone we just allow the god to take his due."

"You are killing them for that stupid tree of yours." Lara spats at them. I follow their eyes and they all look at the large tree that is next to Lara. That is what we need to burn.

"It doesn't matter what you think. You'll be dead soon anyways." The man who owns the garage says and they all leave.

Once they are gone Lara looks at me and I can tell she is worried. "Dean what are we going to do?" She asks me. I look at her and smile. "Don't worry I will think of something."

Dammit it is dark and I still don't have a clue how to get us out of here. We are going to die. "Dean, do you have that idea yet?" Lara asks me.

I try to smile at her but it comes off more like a grimace. "I'll think of something I always do." I try to sound cocky and sure of myself but Lara can read me like a book and knows I'm afraid.

"Dean I want you to know something before we die."

"We aren't going to die Lara!" I yell at her.

Lara looks around. "Dean it looks like we are about to die, time to face that. I just wanted to let you know that I…that I…. well Dean I…"

"Lara! Dean!" I have never been happier to hear my brother's voice in my life. "Sammy over here!" I yell at him.

Sam runs over and cuts us down. Lara reaches into her pocket and grabs the lightly she always keeps with her. She looks over at me and Sammy. "Give me yours!" She demands of us. We throw them to her and she breaks the lights open and spreads the little bit of fluid in them on the tree.

I feel something grab me and throw me. Well I think it found us. I slam into a tree and try to stand up but it throws me back down. "QUICKLY LARA!" I yell at her. The creature finally starts to burn in front of me.

Lara runs over to me and leans down. "Dean! Dean are you ok?" She asks me. "I am just a bit banged up let's get out of here."

Sam helps me up and we stumble out of the orchard and start to walk to town to get our car back. "What were you going to tell me back there Lara?" I ask her.

Her face turns beet red. "Nothing Dean. I just wanted you to know that I didn't blame you for what was about to happen." I know she is lying but I don't want to force her to tell me what's actually wrong.

a/n so what do you think? You guys still like it?


	22. Chapter 22

a/n So sorry guys! I have totally neglected this story I just got really into the other one but now I feel like getting back into this one. I sound like a cracked out kid on a sugar high don't I? This chapter is for MyEffect who wanted me to redo faith under my altraverse (made up word I know) so there are some differences. Enjoy!

Lara's POV

I can't believe I almost told him. I have been cringing at the idea of weeks now. Every time I look back at that moment I think to myself, what the fuck was I thinking? I try to rationalize my stupidity. I thought I was going to die. I thought I would never get a chance to see Dean again. So why not tell him I love him before we die. Sounds reasonable right? Dean knows something is up. He has been giving me weird looks and asking me if I am alright. Just last week I thought he had it figured out.

_"Lara. Lara. Lara? LARA!" Dean screams at me. I look up at him startled. I obviously wasn't paying attention. "What Dean?" I yell back at him._

_ He smirks at me and throws me a beer. "You ok? You have been acting weird since we torched that scarecrow."_

_ I look him right in the eyes. He looks concerned. He looks like he knows. Oh god what do I do? Shit. Shit. Shit. "I'm fine Dean."_

_ "It's ok if you're not. I know you say that you want to be a hunter but that was your first brush with death. If you want out no one will blame you or make fun of you." Relief floods over me like cool water on a hot summer day. He thinks I am just worried about almost dying. _

_ I smile at him and take of the top of my beer bottle with the bones in my arm, a little trick I learned at a bar along the way. He smirks at my trick and waits for me to answer. "I am fine Dean. I don't regret anything. I was just a bit shaken up thinking I was gonna die and I was worried about you too. I'm fine." He relaxes and takes a sip of his beer. He seems to buy it._

"For the love of God Lara pay attention!" Dean yells at me from the front seat of the car. I kick the back of his seat. "Now that you are back with us are you ready for this?" He asks me throwing me a taser.

"Jesus Christ Dean! Do you always have to be such an ass hole?" I yell back at him. He turns around and gives me incredulous look. "Seriously squirt? You have been off in la la land for weeks now and you're asking me if I have to be an ass hole? I can't get you to pay attention unless I am yelling like a banshee. Now are you ready for this hunt or not?"

Sam is looking back at me trying to apologize for Dean's behavior with his eyes. "I am fine let's go electrocute us some rawhead!" I say jumping out of the car and slamming the door. I don't have to look back to know that Dean is wincing at me slamming the door in his precious baby.

It starts out pretty standard. We find the kids holed up in a closet and they cling to Sam like he is Santa Claus. For some reason kids love him. He must look like some kind of tree they can climb on. It never ceases to amaze me how children and our women victims seem to flock to him. He could really start a cult someday if he wanted too I think with a smirk.

Dean is stalking the basement looking for our most reason hunt. These bastards are fast and they are a pain in the ass. They is only way to kill these fuckers. 100,000 volts of electricity is the only way we know of. I hear movement behind me and I twirl around with my taser hoping to see the bastard. Nothing.

Crash

Plop

Boom

I follow the sounds of the creature and I see Dean holding his taser in front of him as well ready to attack. Why is it that every time we end up in some abandoned house with no power? Why for once can't there be fluorescence lights illuminating the entire basement? I can sense him behind me. I spin around and I see him. I release my taser and at the last moment Dean pushes me out of the way and grabs the taser. "MOVE LARA!" He yells. I fall to the side and look over. To my horror Dean is standing where I was. In pool of water that he is sharing with the rawhead. Has the rawhead is dying the power is flowing through him, through the water, and hitting Dean.

"DEAN!" I scream out. After a few minutes it's silent. There are no sounds except the sound of me breathing. I run to Dean roll him onto his back. I check his pulse and his breathing. Shit. I start chest compressions and breaths. This isn't how I imagined it would be touching his lips from the first time. I want to stop and call for Sam but I can't. If I stop Dean will die.

*days later*

The doctors informed us that Dean is not going to survive. His heart is shot and he is going to die. When he told us that I went into shock, Sam freaked out and punched a wall, and Dean acted like we told him nothing more daunting than the fact that the diner is closed and we need to keep driving.

We lied to the doctors so they would allow me to stay with him even when visiting hours are over. We told them that we are married and they have allowed me to stay with him and be in the room anytime I want. We've been here a few days and Dean is a horrible patient. He is always fighting the doctors and trying to act like he isn't freaking out.

Uncle Bobby and Aunt Karen said they couldn't come. They wouldn't tell me why but they said they can't come. I think someone is wrong at home but they don't want to add to my stress by telling me what it is. I call Aunt Karen after Dean goes to bed and I talk to her every night. I can't help but sob on the phone with her. I killed the love on my life. I try and stop myself form thinking like that. When did he become the love my life? I'm not old enough for that. But deep down I know he's it for me. Even though I know he will never think of me like that. At least I'll be able to pretend he is my husband before he dies. Wow I am pathetic. Playing wife. I should probably see if there is a psychologist on staff who can treat me because I obviously need help.

I called my uncles. I prayed for them until they finally showed up once Dean went to sleep one night. I begged them to heal him. I promised them I would do anything they wanted from me but they refused. They said they can't heal him. That God won't allow them. I cried, I begged, I even hit their chests but they wouldn't give in. I could tell they were upset that they couldn't help me but they still didn't heal him.

Dean has been flipping through daytime tv while I sit on the chair next to his bed. To keep up appearances for the hospital staff and for my own sick pleasure I hold his hand whenever I can. This is my fault. I got him killed. I was reckless. If I would have looked down I wouldn't have fired. He is dying for me.

There is a knock on the door and Sam comes in. He has been combing the internet and trying to find some kind of miracle cure. The life we have lived has lulled us into some kind of false sense of safety that there is always a way. I don't know why we were lulled into this but we were. Sam gives Dean a fake smile, trying to show his support but Dean just smirks at him and keeps watching TV. "Dean we have options. I have found some leads that might be able to help us."

Dean flicks off the TV and stares at Sam. He looks so weak. He's pale and a bit shaky. "What options Sam? Cause the only options I see are burial or cremation. And you damn well know I don't want my ass rotting in the ground somewhere."

I flinch and squeeze Dean's hand. Dean looks at me with an apologetic smile but I know he's not really sorry. I look back at Sam and he is rubbing his face with his hands. His eyes are bloodshot just like mine and Deans. None of us have been sleeping and we are all freaking out. "Dean come on man. We can do this."

"Sam don't be stupid. There is no way to fix this. Just let me die in peace alright." Sam storms out of the hospital and I know he is upset and wont' be stopping his quest to save Dean though.

Dean pushes me after Sam runs out. "Go check on him. You need a night in a real bed anyways." I squeeze his hand and shake my head no. "Go get some rest Lara. I'll see you tomorrow." Before I can fight him on it he lets go of my hand and turns the TV back on ending the conversation. He wants me to leave and that's the end of that. I pick up my bag and follow behind the footsteps that Sam took just a few minutes before.

I knock on the door at the hotel and Sam opens the door surprised to see me. "He kicked me out. Said I needed to rest for the night and that I would see him tomorrow." Sam shakes his head and goes back to his laptop set up on the cheap table. Sam looks like shit. His biting his nails and hunched over his computer. He looks like he hasn't slept in days and now that I am in enclosed space with him he doesn't smell too hot either. I lie down in the bed and close my eyes. Before I know it, it's morning.

It felt like I have only slept a few minute when I hear knocking on the door. I jump awake and look over the clock next to the bed. I have been out for 10 hours. I look at Sam and he puts his finger to his mouth to silence me. No one knows where we are. Sam looks through the peep hole and all the tension in his body relaxes and he opens the door. "What the fuck are you doing here Dean? You need to be in the hospital."

Dean makes a pathetic attempt to laugh and ends up coughing instead. "I am not going to die in a hospital where the nurses aren't even hot." He says trying to make light of the situation but he starts to fall over. Sam catches him and helps him to a bed.

"I think I found a lead Dean. I found a faith healer." A bit of hope springs up in me. Dean looks doubtful but I know he'll at least go along with it for a bit for Sam. Sam has been trying to call John for days now and he still refuses to call us back. When I finally find him I am going to kick his ass. How can he abandon his sons like this?

The next morning we all pile into the impala. It feels strange having Sam driving and not Dean. I put some pillows and blankets in the back seat to keep Dean comfortable. He wasn't to keen on me dotting on him until I decided he was comfortable but he puts up with it for me.

As we pull up I give Sam a leery glance. This place doesn't look like much. It's an old farm house and the ground is covered in mud. It's not nearly as glamorous as I thought the residence of a faith healers practice would be. We pull up and park the car and Sam and I help Dean out of the car. He tries to fight us but he can't because he knows he can't walk without us.

I hear a man next to us talking to his mom. I don't know what his aliment is but I know he is here to be healed. His mom is trying to dote on him too but he keeps brushing her off. I watch them move into the tent and Sam pulls all of us into the tent. Dean gives me a pissed off look. He is not happy about us dragging his ass here.

We take our seats and wait for the healer to make his appearance. I am a bit shocked by who comes out. The man is blind and he is a bit over weight. Not the look I was expecting. He starts his spiel but I can't help but look around at all the poor people hoping to get healed today. How can we hope for Dean to be the lucky one to be chosen?

The man from outside is sitting in front of us and his mom keeps putting her arms around him and patting his back. "It's alright Cole. They have to call you today." She keeps reassuring him. I feel guilty that we are here trying to take this kids spot but I need Dean to live. I can't imagine a world without him.

"Dean. Dean Winchester come up here." The healer says and it brings me out of my funk. I look up at the healer shocked. Dean is trying to say no and keep seating but Sam pushes him out of the seat and the healer refuses to take no for an answer. Dean stumbles to the front of the makeshift church which is no better than a circus tent and the healer pushes him down on his knees. Cole's mom doesn't look happy, but I can't help but be ecstatic. This man might be able to save Dean.

Roy, the healer, asks the people to start praying and everyone does. There is a weird feeling about all of this but I can't quite place it. I know something isn't right. I look around and I start to fumble with the ring on my finger. My Uncles blessed this ring for me and I can't stop myself from clutching it expecting them to appear and put me at ease but they don't.

The praying gets louder and louder and I have to keep myself from clutching me ears and falling to the ground. I fall into Sam and he grabs me. "What's wrong Lara?" He asks me worried about my strange reaction to the one thing we have been hoping and praying for since Dean got sick.

I shake my head no sure. Then I see it. A reaper. "Sam there is a reaper." I whisper into his ear. Sam looks around frantically. "Where?" He asks me.

I point next to Dean. There is a reaper leaning over Dean. Oh my god please don't hurt him. Don't take him away from me. I start to push Sam off of me and I run to Dean. I need to save him. If that reaper touches him he is dead. I get about half way up the aisle and the reaper makes eye contact with me. "How do you see me?" He yells at me. I start to shake my head that I don't know and then I pass out.

I come to in a hotel bed and I'm not sure how long I have been out. I jump out the bed and search frantically for Dean. He is lying down on the bed next to me and I lunge on to him and grab him flipping him over. "DEAN! DEAN! Oh my god! You are alive! How the reaper?" I yell at him. I don't mean to but I being to sob.

Dean shakes off his confusion of being woken up and grabs me into a fierce hug. "Everything is ok now Lara. Calm down. Hush now. I am fine." He says trying to calm me like he does when I wake from a nightmare.

I look up at him with tears dripping down my face. "There was a reaper Dean. I saw him leaning over you."

"I know Lara. I saw him. Once Roy started to heal me I saw the reaper too. He didn't kill me, he healed me. How did you see him?" He asks me moving the hair off my face.

I start to shake. "I don't know I just did." I have no idea how I saw him but at least now I know I am not crazy Dean saw him too.

Sam comes into the room and he looks shaken. "It's like you thought Dean. I went and checked. Someone died with your same symptoms. They somehow have a reaper transferring the death of the people they heal to others."

I look up at Dean and he looks sick to stomach. I am worried for a moment that he is going to throw up on me. I grab his face and make him look at me. "This isn't your fault. We didn't know." I tell him. He doesn't look convinced.

We spend the next few days researching and tracking down all the information we can find on what is going on here. I talked with Cole, Roy and his wife. Dean is depressed. I can tell that he is really upset about the woman that died for him. I keep trying to tell him that it wasn't his fault. He acknowledges that I am talking but he doesn't allow it to sink in.

I am going through another book when a symbol jumps out at me. "Sam!" I yell out. He runs over to me and looks at the picture. "That symbol. Doesn't Roy's wife have something like that?" I ask him pointing to the strange looking cross.

Sam shakes his head yes. "She does. It has to be her". When we talked to Roy he seemed to actually believe he was healing people. It was his wife that looked strange. "We have to go there tonight. Cole and his mom are meeting with them. We can't let them kill anyone else." I feel bad stopping all of this before Cole can get healed but it's not fair for someone else to die no matter how nice and wonderful he seems. If I knew the truth about it when we came here I like to believe I would not have allowed Dean to go through with it either.

We show up at the house at dusk and Cole is pacing around outside. I run up to him and grab his hands. "Cole, I know this sounds crazy but you can't go in there." I plead with him.

Cole frowns at me. "Listen Lara you seem like a real great girl but this is my chance. Your boyfriend got healed why can't I?" He asks me.

I want to shout back that Dean isn't my boyfriend but that was part of our cover story here to explain why I was traveling with them. "You can't Cole. Whenever Roy heals someone he passes the death on to someone else. Do you want to live with that? Knowing you killed someone?" I ask him.

"Lara this is crazy. I am going in there and I am going to be healed tonight. I can't go through all the treatments anymore. This brain tumor is not only killing me but ruining what little bit of life I have left." He gives me a weak smile and turns around and walks up the stairs into the house.

Shit! I want him to live. He is a great guy. No one deserves it more but not like this. I can't let that woman kill anyone else. I run back to boys. "He won't listen. He's going in tonight to get healed. This whole thing sounds crazy even for me and he won't listen." Dean shakes his head and we all separate trying to find the altar that Roy's wife has to have set up somewhere. I take the house, Sam takes the tent, and Dean takes the grounds.

I walk around the perimeter of the house. I see Cole, his mom, and Roy starting the ceremony. I don't have much time. I find a small window the basement of the house and I look into the small window and see Roy's wife knelling at the altar praying. That's it bitch, you're done. I think to myself and I quietly open the window and slip in like a cat. I'm lucky Sam or Dean weren't the ones to find this. They are too big and would have made too much noise. Being 5'4" and skinny as well finally paid off. I slink up behind the lady and I hit her over the head heard making her stumble over. I hit her again hoping to render her unconscious but the bitch has a bit of fight in her. "How dare you interrupt my work!"

"Your work!" I yell back at her. "You are killing people you bitch and it has to stop!" She runs at me and I push her back flinging her into her altar. She stumbles into it and the pieces start to fall over.

"I am doing God's work. There are some people who don't deserve the lives they have. Like your boyfriend. We healed him but he has to put his ungrateful nose where it doesn't belong. Now I am going to give that nice young man, Cole, his life for your boyfriends."

Oh no the bitch just didn't. She just threatened Dean's life. I run at her and throw her down to the ground and punch her over and over again until my hands are sore and my knuckles are bleeding and she is almost unconscious. Once I feel good that she is not going to be fighting back anytime soon I jump up and push over her altar watching all of the pieces scatter and shatter on the ground. "Still want to play God bitch!" I yell at her.

It only takes a moment and I feel him enter the room, death. I turn around and the reaper is standing behind me. I start to move backwards but he isn't looking at me. He is looking at Roy's wife. He moves past me and touches her face. He is not happy. He hasn't enjoyed being tethered to her like a dog. It only takes a moment and she's dead. The reaper turns around and makes eye contact with me. "You are special aren't you Lara." He says with a wink then disappears.

I run back out of the basement through the window and find Dean stumbling to the house. I run up to him and pull him into a hug. "Are you alright?" I ask him.

He shakes his head. "I am fine. The reaper was going after me. Did you get her?" He asks me.

"I destroyed her altar then he came back and killed her. It's over Dean. It's done." I say falling onto his chest relieved he is still alive.

We spend the next few hours trying to explain to Roy what his wife was doing. He handled it alright. He accepted it but I can tell he is crushed. It's not every day you find out that your wife is killing people. And to top that off it's not every day you find out your wife has forced a reaper to make you a healer. Poor man, he actually thought he was healing people and doing God's work.

Before we leave Cole shows up at our hotel. Sam and Dean give me a look and they know that I want a few minutes to talk to him. They leave the room and leave Cole and me sitting on the bed. "I'm sorry I didn't believe you. It just sounded so crazy."

I give him a hug. "I'm sorry Cole. You are obviously a great person and if anyone deserves this it's you. I wish there was something I could do. I am so sorry." I don't mean to start crying but I do.

Cole holds on to me. "I have accepted my fate. I will keep up treatment and if I am meant to live I will. If I am not well I won't. Favor though?" He asks me. I shake my head. "Anything."

"If I don't make it name something after me. I like the idea of something being named after me out there. Even if it's just a pet dog or rabbit." He says trying to make light of the situation.

I pull back and kiss his cheek. "If I ever have children I promise you I will name one of them after you." I say with a smile trying not to cry.

"You don't have to do that. You don't need to name your first born after me or anything. I'm not Rumplestiltskin." He says with a laugh.

"Ok how about second born then?" I say with a smile. He shakes his head. "That sounds fair. If you are lucky enough to have two sons the second one can be named after me." I give him another hug and leave the room.

I get to the car and the boys are ready to go. I climb into the backseat. I look up at them and lay back and smile. We are all alive and healthy what else can I ask for. Not far from our last hunt Sam is sound asleep in the front seat and I am on my way to being asleep in the back. My phone starts to ring and I see it's Uncle Bobby and I pick it up. "Hey what's up?" I ask him.

"Honey you need to come home." Uncle Bobby says quietly.

"What's wrong?" I try not to sound afraid but I can't. Uncle Bobby sounds weird. Dean looks back at me through the rearview mirror and I make eye contact with him.

"It's your Aunt Karen honey. She is really sick. You need to come home."

"I'll be right there." I say hanging up the phone. Dean stops the car and turns around. "What's wrong?" He asks me.

I look down at my phone like it is a snake about to bite me. "It's Aunt Karen. Uncle Bobby said she is really sick. I need to get home Dean."

Dean shakes his head. "I'll get you there in no time."

a/n I hope it was worth the wait. If you liked it or even if you didn't pleas review!


	23. Chapter 23

Lara's POV

I can't believe they didn't' call me the minute they got the news. I should have been the first person they called. Uncle Bobby says that the reason they didn't call me was because they knew I was already stressed about Dean being so sick, but I could have handled it! They treat me like a child and I am not one any longer. I am a hunter for Christ's sake and they can't even tell me the truth!

Aunt Karen said it started with a lump. A lump? How the fuck is it possible for a lump to turn the world upside down? I have been back home for a month now and I have seen Aunt Karen go from the strong woman who raised me to someone destroyed by chemo and radiation treatments. When Sam and Dean dropped me off Uncle Bobby meet me at the door.

_"Lara!" Uncle Bobby cries out. He looks relieved that I am here. I jump out of the car knowing that Dean will get my bags and I run up the stairs and latch onto my precious Uncle. He leads me inside and Aunt Karen is lying on the couch. She looks tired. "Honey, you're home." She says weakly._

_ I run to her and lean down on the floor next to the couch. "How are you Aunt Karen?" I ask her trying not to cry. _

_ She waves her hands at me trying to act like it's nothing. "I told Bobby not to worry you. I will be fine." I looked up has Dean walked in and one look on his face and I knew that everything was not fine. He tried to hide it and make me feel safe but I know what is happening. This is the moment everything changes. _

They left, Dean and Sam, they left the day after the dropped me off. I couldn't ask them to stay. Dean asked me if I wanted them to stay and I told them to go. I know the work they have to do. I can't stop them and keep them here with me because I am sad.

My Angel Uncles have assured me that now isn't Aunt Karen's time. They tell me this is just one of the many trails of her life. I can rest a bit easily knowing that she is going to die but at the same time I see her withering away in front of me. I just hope they aren't lying to me to keep me calm.

"Lara!" Uncle Bobby yells up the stairs. I jump out of bed and run down the stairs quickly worried that something has happened to Aunt Karen. "Honey, I need your help. We need to make up Sam's old room and the couch bed. One of your Aunt Karen's old friends is coming to visit today and I want to make sure the house is ready for them."

I shake my head yes and run to the closet to pull out the vacuum. Uncle Bobby catches my eye and shakes his head no. "Your aunt is sleeping honey. Don't bother with vacuuming." I immediately drop the handle to the door and start to clean up and ready the beds for Aunt Karen's friends.

It's evening when they show up. I am in my bed writing in my dream journal. I never got to write in it this morning. Dean has been helping me research what I have been dreaming and disturbingly more dreams are real that not. I hear their car coming down the drive and I sit up in bed and walk downstairs to hear Aunt Karen greeting a woman at door. "Oh Ellen! What a lovely surprise!" She yells out. I get to the bottom of the stairs to see my Aunt hugging a dark haired woman with her blonde daughter hiding behind her.

Aunt Karen notices me and turns around extending her arm for me to come to her. "Lara honey I want you to meet my friend Ellen and her daughter Jo. She went to school with your mom and me and we were all best friends. Your mom and Ellen were actually pregnant around the same time." She looks back at Ellen. "But it has been a long time since I have seen her." I can tell by the look they share that they were close. I vaguely remember her from my mom and dad's funeral. I remember her crying with my aunt at the gravesite.

"I think we have met." I say unsure if she would remember me. Ellen smiles at me and crosses the threshold to give me a tight hug. "We did, it just wasn't under the best of circumstances."

"Why don't I go get our stuff mom? You hang out with your friend." Her daughter says at the door nervously. Ellen and Aunt Karen seem to be ok with that and they head inside to talk. I follow Jo outside to the car. "Can I help?" I ask her. She shakes her head yes.

We pull all the bags out the car and I lead her back into the house. "We have a couch bed and Sam's bed upstairs is open too."I tell her.

"Sam?" She asks me kind of confused. I smile at her. "Sam Winchester, he moved in when he started middle school. He's my surrogate brother I guess you could say."

"Winchester? As in John Winchester?" She asks me. I shake my head yes. She shakes off whatever is bothering her. "Why don't I stay in his bed and mom can take the couch bed down here to be closer to your aunt." I lead her into the den and we drop off her mom's bag. I see one of Dean's tshirts that I must have missed when I was picking up the den. I grab it and Jo catches me and raises her eyebrow. "It's Dean's, Sam's brother. This is where he stays when he's here." I say casually. Jo seems to clam up. Maybe she and her mom know the Winchesters.

We walk up stairs and I throw Dean's tshirt on my bed has I pass my room to go down the hall to Sam's old room. I turn on the light and look over at the nightstand where there stands a lone picture of Jess and Sam. I should remove that before he comes home. I don't want it to upset him. "The bathroom is down the hall. If you need anything please feel free to ask." Jo smiles at me and throws her stuff down on the bed. She follows me out of the room and we head back downstairs.

Aunt Karen looks up at me has we come down the stairs with a big smile on her face. I haven't seen her this energetic in a while. "Hey honey why don't you and Jo go out. Ellen and I are going to catch up." I look at Jo and she shakes her head in agreement. I grab the keys to my bug and we head out.

"Nice car." She says admiring my refurbished bug. "I love my car. Dean helped me fix her up when I was younger." I say patting my car's hood. We head to the bar in silence. I'm not sure why she is so nervous anytime I mention the Winchester's but her demeanor changes when I mention them.

I pull up at a local bar and dig through my glove box to find my fake id. "Do you have one?" I ask her. She smiles and pulls out her own fake id from her purse. We share a devious smile and head to the door. We show the bouncer our ids and head to the bar. I order us a round of beer and shots to start the night. "So what brought you guys here?" I ask her.

"Your mom, aunt, and my mom were best friends in school. There is actually a picture of the three of them in my living room. When your uncle called my mom dropped everything to get here as soon as she could." She responds throwing her shot back and taking a sip of her beer.

Not to be out done I quickly down my shot and take a sip of my beer. I motion to the bartender to refill our drinks. "So why do you tense up every time I mention Sam or Dean?" I ask her just cutting to the chase."

Jo blushes and looks down. "That obvious am I?" She asks. I laugh and take another gulp of my beer. "You better believe it." I say trying to laugh it off.

Jo shrugs her shoulders. "You're uncle said you were a hunter so I know you're in on what our families do and have done. I know it's not their fault but their dad fucked up on a hunt and got my dad killed. I've never meet them."

I want to lean over and give her a hug. I know what it's like to lose a parent but because I know I know not to hug her. I hate it when people act like they know what I need and give me fake sympathy. "I think you'd like them if you meet them. They are fun. Dean and I have been hunting together for the past year or so and Sam and I were raised together. Sam's like a brother to me." I say wistfully. I miss my boys.

Jo smiles at me. "And Dean? Isn't he like a brother to you?" I can't help but blush. I have only ever talked to Jess about this. I don't know why I feel so comfortable with Jo. Maybe it's just that she comes from hunters too. "Well Dean isn't my brother." Jo laughs and we both down our shots.

"So you like him?" She asks slightly mocking me. I blush again and wave for more drinks. If we are going to be having this conversation I need to be a hell of a lot more drunk. "I've known him since I was 5 years old." I say trying to end the conversation. She raises her eye brow at me asking "and" with her eyes.

"And… I have been in love with him since I knew what the feeling meant." I respond blushing into my drink. Jo claps my back and we both chug our beers and wait for our refills to appear in front of us. We enjoy each other company in a way only females can. I have missed this. I haven't had this since Jess died.

"Squirt!" I hear being yelled at me from the door. I turn around and to my drunken shock Dean and Sam are at the door showing their ids. I start to turn red and Jo grabs on to my arm. "Is that Dean?" She slurs into my ear.

I turn at her and glare. "How did you know?" I bark at her. She laughs and almost falls off her stool. "Because you smiled before he even said you name and you're blushing like a school girl." I give her a pleading look. "Don't worry I won't say anything, and I don't go after marked territory. But Sam…." She says looking him over. I hit her lightly and she laughs.

The boys come over and give me tight hugs. "You trashed yet Squirt?" Deans asks motioning to the empty beer bottles and shot glasses all over the bar in front of us. I laugh and shake my head no. "Whose your friend?" He asks me nodding his head to Jo.

"Dean this is Jo. Jo this is Sam and Dean." I say motioning the introductions. They shake hands and say that formalities but I can tell that Jo is a bit uncomfortable. She grabs her phone and smiles at me. "I am gonna call me mom and tell her to move out of the den I guess."

"Tell her that you and she can take my room, Sam can take his room, Dean can take the den, and I'll just pass out on the couch." Jo agrees and takes her phone to a quieter spot at the bar.

Before I can get another drink Sam grabs me in a tight hug and I'm quickly passed off to Dean. "How are you doing squirt?" He asks me genuinely concerned. I shrug my shoulders and he gives me his no bull shit look. "Come on Lara don't pull that shit on me."

I want to bury my face in his chest and sob but I restrain myself. "It's been rough. Aunt Karen is really sick and Uncle Bobby is a mess. Most of my time is spent at the hospital with my aunt. Her friend Ellen just showed up a few hours ago with her daughter. Apparently Ellen, my mom, and Aunt Karen were best friends in high school. I think it will do her some good to have her friends around her right now."

Dean shakes his head listening to what I have to say. "Well that is why we came. We figured it would be good for you to have some friends too." I give him and Sam another hug. "Thanks for coming guys."

Jo starts to walk back and Dean nudges me. "So what's her story?" He asks raising his eyebrows a bit. Fucking Jerk! Hold on a minute Lara it's not like Dean knows you are in love with him. "Don't try anything Winchester." I say pretending to be defending her.

"Lara? Lara Maywin is that you?" I hear from behind me. I turn around and I'm shocked to see a face from my past. "Steve?" I yell out giving him a hug.

"Sam get your ass over here!" I yell in Sam's direction. He turns around and gives Steve a smile. "I haven't seen you in years man. What's up?" Sam asks giving him the man hug.

Steve seems a bit nervous around Sam. I am not surprised though. The last time they did speak Sam did punch him in the face and broke his nose for touching my ass at prom. "I just got out of school and I'm back home before grad school. I am going to be getting my MBA in the fall at Boston College."

Sam seems a bit sad. That should have been him. He should have been starting his law degree in the fall at Stanford. Steve looks at me and smiles giving me an up and down appreciating glance. I can feel Dean humming with anger behind me. "So what about you Lara? What have you been up too?"

I turn around and grab for Dean. "Well you remember Dean right?" I ask him. Steve thinks for a minute and shakes his head. "Yea you were Sam's older brother right? I think you graduated a few years before us."

"Yep that's him. Well when I graduated I starting travelling around with him picking up the trade. We take odd jobs here and there in security. We just enjoy traveling around." That has been our cover for awhile and in reality it's not a lie. We just don't let them know what we are securing them from.

"So you and Dean huh?" Steve asks me. Dean drops my hand immediately. "Nothing like that." He states to my dismay. I want to pick up the phone and dial Jess and tell her she was wrong when she said Dean likes me too but I can't. She's gone.

We all take a bigger table together and hang out. I have Dean to my right and Jo to my left. Sam took the seat next to Jo and they seem to be hitting it off. Steve is across from me and some of his friends are around him. We are all drinking, laughing, and having a good time. Well everyone except for Dean who seems like he is in a pissy mood. I'm in the middle of a conversation with Steve about something stupid he did in college when Jo grabs my arm and makes me go to the bathroom with her.

When we get in she winks at me. "So you trying to make Dean jealous?" She asks. I give her a shocked look. "Dean isn't interested in me like that." I stutter back to her.

Jo lets out a loud laugh. "He might not know it but he is. He can't stop shooting that boy daggers with his eyes for talking to you."

"That's ridiculous. When Steve asked if we were together Dean dropped my hand and told the kid it wasn't like that. And before that he asked me what your story was." I retort.

Jo shrugs her shoulders. "Men are idiots. They never know what they want till they can't have it. Keep it up I want to see if he breaks." She says mischievously. "So what is Sam's story? He seems fun." She says slapping on some lip gloss.

I hit her with my hip and steal her lip gloss and put some on. "He's single. His fiancé died a while back, a demon got her. So please go easy on him." I say looking at her in the mirror. She gives me an innocent look and we head back out.

Before I can take my seat Steve grabs my hand and takes me to the makeshift dance floor. "Will you dance with me?" He asks. I smile and shake my head yes. "This time I just hope Sam doesn't break my nose. I didn't breath right for months after!" He says trying to make a joke. I look behind me and Sam and Jo are dancing together too, so hopefully he will not freak out and punch Steve again.

After two faster songs the music turns a bit slower and I can't help but smirk. The song just reminds me of Dean and his ridiculous music tastes as Guns n Roses Sweet Child of Mine blare through the speakers. I feel someone tap my shoulder and I turn around to see Dean smiling at me. "Can I cut in?" He asks innocently. I shake my head yes and I hear Steve let out a sigh of defeat has he lets go of me and I turn around and go into Dean's arms.

"That kid is pathetic." He whispers to me. I laugh and shake my head. "And why is that Dean?" I ask him mockingly.

"He's been flirting with you all night trying to impress you with all this stuff he has done in school and things like that but I doubt he could even beat you in a fight. You need a man not some boy." Dean spats out. I want to tilt my head to the side and say jealous much but I let it go. This is what I wanted anyways. To be in his arms so I am not going to say anything to risk that.

As the song ends I hear Sam yelling at us. "Hey guys we should get heading back it's late." I look down at my watch and sure enough it's almost 2 am. I let out a sigh, I really don't want this moment to end but I know it has too.

I go back to the table to grab my purse and Steve stops me before I can leave. "So can I call you and ask you out before I head to Boston?" He asks me.

I look back at Dean whose paying our tab at the bar. "Sorry now isn't a good time Steve. My aunt is really sick and this is honestly the first night I have been out in a long time and once she's better I am going to be heading back out with Dean. But thanks for the offer." I try to let him down easy.

Steve looks at Dean and smiles shaking his head. "I don't care what he says it is something like that." Steve whispers under his breath. I pretend not to hear him and run over to catch up to Dean whose leaving the bar.

I walk over to my car but Dean grabs my keys. "Ain't no way in hell I'm going to let you drive after the amount of alcohol you have consumed tonight. Get in my car squirt we'll come back tomorrow for your baby." I want to fight him but he's right.

Sam and Jo have gotten in to the back seat and I see they are snuggled up together a bit. I feel a moment of anger. He's emotionally cheating on Jess. Then I calm down. She has been dead almost a year now he can't keep in a constant state of mourning. He needs to move on. Hell I need to move on. I can tell neither of them wants anything serious so I'm not too worried.

When we get back to the house we all take turns brushing our teeth and getting ready for bed. Jo gives Sam a longing glance and heads into my room to sleep with her mom and I see Sam wait a moment at his door before he goes into him room and shuts the door. Dean is already in the den and the lights are out by the time I get back down to the couch. I grab a throw blanket and curl up and fall asleep fast.

_At first it's not that bad. Some ass hole just sold his soul to have a threesome with his wife but it's not as bad as it could be. They seem to love each other and no one is being rough on me so I don't have much to complain about. I can even block most of it out. I'm not getting hit or beaten at all so it's easy to go somewhere else. I can ignore sexually what they are doing to me._

_ Once they are done and we all pass out in our post sex slumber the demon in me starts to get restless. This wasn't fun enough for it. It wants more! I notice now how careful the demon was not to get any of our DNA on them. The demon made them wear condoms with us and didn't let either of them scratch us in ecstasy like they did each other. That should have been a clue. Normally the demons don't give a fuck what happens to my body. _

_ We head to the kitchen and I am praying against all the odds that we are just going to get a drink of water but we don't stop at the sink we stop at the butchers block. The demon pulls out the biggest knife and heads back to the bedroom. It doesn't take long to slit the wives throat. The demon looks down at the blood on our hands and she starts to lick off our fingers. I want to vomit but it's in control of my body not me. We wipe off the blade and put it in the husband's hand. Before we leave the demon smirks at her prey. "See you in 10 years." She whispers has we leave the house._

"Wake up Lara." I hear being whispered into my ear. I jump awake and throw myself on my rescuer and start to sob in the crock of his neck. "It's alright you are awake now. It's not real it was a dream." He reassures me knowing that more than likely it is real though.

"It's been hard without you." I stutter out like a scared child. I finally get the nerve to look up into Dean's face. He frowns slightly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…" He puts his finger up over my lips.  
>"I know you don't. Come on lets go to bed." He says picking me up in his arms.<p>

The dreams don't go away with him but he can wake me up before they get to bad. I do better when someone is next to me and can console me after one. When I was younger I would crawl into Sam's bed all the time at night but Dean has always done the best job of it. Where I would sob into Sam when I woke up Dean would always try to wake me up before the dream got to the point I needed to sob.

When we get back to the den he lays me down on the side of the couch bed and pulls the covers up over me. "Try to get some sleep. It will be morning soon." He whispers brushing a piece of hair off my face and leaning down to kiss my forehead.

"Thanks Dean." I say has I close my eyes and try to go back to sleep. "I can't stand to hear you that upset Lara. I will always wake you up. Now try to get some rest."

a/n please review if you get the time!


	24. Chapter 24

Dean's POV

This week has been a mess! I don't know what the fuck has come over me. It started the first night I got in. Sam and I showed up at the bar that Bobby thought Lara would be at. I haven't seen her in a month and she looked good. I wanted to hit myself, I can't think Lara looks good. But she did oh my sweet jesus did she. She was in a tight pair of jeans with a dark blue tank top and high heels. Her hair was cascading down her back. She definitely didn't look like squirt anymore. She looked like some kind of sex goddess. Then when I got to her I wanted to blurt out that she looked hot and hook up with her in the bathroom. Instead what does my dumb ass do? I ask her what's up with her blonde friend. Real smooth Winchester.

Then that stupid Steve Larkin showed up. I hadn't thought of him since she was 14. Dammit Dean she's only 18, no going to be 19 tomorrow. Oh and you're what 27? Not creepy no not creepy at all! I think to myself. Well that Steve kid was all over her. Flirting with her trying to impress her then he had the nerve to ask her to dance. I know that I told him Lara and I weren't a item but what kind of foolish guys dances with a girl like that with Sam and I around? I mean Lara said we work and travel together regardless of what we said I would just assume we were together I guess. Not only that the last time Steve saw Sam he was getting punched the face by Sam! Man has balls, or man just really wants to get a piece of Lara action at all costs.

Steve was practically dry humping her on the dance floor and she didn't seem to mind. I have to remember she's a woman now. So I changed the song and cut in. It was completely innocent until I starting thinking of doing a different kind of dancing with her… Dammit Dean get your shit together. Lara is squirt, the same little girl with pig tails that you used to take care of. The same little girl that used to come crying into your bed when she had nightmare. Well I guess she still is the girl that comes into my bed after a nightmare only now she is an adult woman.

That night when I woke up her up from her nightmare it was hard to keep my hands off her. She had short shorts and a black tank top and her face was flushed and I could imagine her naked under me with that same flushed face only with a happier expression on her face. Holy Shit Dean! Stop thinking about Lara like that!

The next morning wasn't much better.

_I get out of bed early and find Karen and her friend sitting at the table. "Good morning." I say stumbling to the coffee._

_ The friend gets up and grabs me in a tight hug. "Don't go brushing by me like you don't know me boy!" I look at her face and I think for a moment. "ELLEN!" I shout out pulling her into tighter hug._

_ "It's been a long time Dean. How are you doing?" When Sam and I were little like Sam was just a baby sometimes Dad would drop us of at Ellen's while dad and her husband hunted. The last time I saw them Ellen just had a baby girl. "Holy shit that blonde girl is your daughter?" I ask._

_ Ellen starts to laugh. "Yes you meet Jo again. Last time you saw her she must have been an infant." Then it dawned on me the last time I saw her at their house dad took us out of our beds in the middle of the night while Ellen was crying and yelling at him. What did he do?_

_ Bobby comes in behind me and pushes me out of the way to get to the coffee. "There a reason my niece is passed out in your bed boy?" He asks me with hint of accusation. _

_ I don't mean to but I clam up and feel my face getting red. Pull your shit together Winchester! I mentally kick myself. "She had a nightmare last night. I woke her up and she wouldn't let me go so I brought her back into my room." Bobby glares at me for minute. "What! Nothing happened I swear it's totally innocent. It's like when she was a kid." Only I wish it wasn't. Stop it Dean before Bobby reads your mind and pounds your face in with his fists._

_ Bobby lets out a laugh. "Yeah I know I just wanted to razz you a bit. I know I can trust my baby girl with you and your knuckle headed brother." Maybe you shouldn't I think but keep it to myself. _

_ Then Lara comes stumbling into the room. Her dark hair is wavy mess around her face and her eyes are still a bit sleepy. Her blue eyes look great hooded over like that. She looks sexy. Her legs look long sticking out of her short shorts even though I know she's only 5'4" and her chest, stop it Dean. She slams me with her hip to get in between Bobby and me to get some coffee too. "Sleep well honey?" Bobby asks her._

_ She smiles and leans her head on her uncle's shoulder. "Not at first but Dean woke me up and I didn't have another nightmare." She says sleepily. _

It's been a week like that. I had to go down to the bar twice this week to hook up just to get the sex out of my system. Got desperate enough to hook up with Sarah last night. I can't be around Lara right now without wanting her. She knows I went out those nights but she thought it was for me to go see some old friends. It didn't feel right bragging about my conquests in the morning. Just a few months ago I had no problem doing just that but now it seems wrong. Doesn't mean I don't stop though. I'm weak and I have needs and right now my needs seem to bursting out of me. Besides it's better than the alternative any time she's around me popping a boner like a 12 year old boy.

I promised I would take her out for her birthday tonight. Sam, Jo, Lara, and I are going to go get dinner, then to the movies, then I think hit up a bar afterwards. I just hope I can keep my thoughts and more importantly my hands to myself.

"Dean?" Bobby asks from behind me. I turn around and smile at him. "I haven't been able to find anything about that demon Meg you were asking me about." We told Bobby about it hoping that he could find something on her that we couldn't. I haven't told Lara about her yet. I know she would just worry. She doesn't need to know that we had all been attacked either. We finally got dad to meet up with us and it didn't go well to say the least. It was a fucking disaster that almost led to all of us dying. But hey we're all still alive and we're staying apart for now. I know Sammy wanted to run off with dad to get revenge at the thing that killed Jess but he had to stay with me.

"Well keep looking I need to know everything there is to know about that bitch." I take a moment to look over some of the books he has strewn around his so called library. "You sure you are ok with Lara going out to a bar with us?"

Bobby lets out a loud laugh. "She's 19 so she's old enough to smoke, vote, join the army, die for her country, and she is a hunter. I am not going to tell my niece who kills shit on a regular basis she can't go to the bar when she feels like it. Besides you and Sam will be there. You guys would never let anything happen to her. You guys are the big brothers she always wished she had. I know I should be worried every time she leaves the house with you especially with your past history with women but I know you will take care of her. Just make sure the local riff raff doesn't try to do whatever it is 21 year old males do to beautiful young woman."

I need to remind myself that she does look at me like her brother. It's been hard reminding myself of that lately now that she looks like a woman. I shake my head in agreement. "Don't worry we will take care of her." With that I hear the sound of high heels coming down the stairs. Leopard print high heels and legs are the first thing I see. Lara comes down the stair with all the confidence in the world. She's wearing a ridiculously short black dress and I want to send her upstairs to change and stare at her all night all at the same time. It takes me a minute to notice that she is talking to me. "Dean? Hey Dean you alive in there?" She asks me smiling.

"Yeah sorry I was just thinking of something." She smiles believing that I was distracted. Jo is behind her in similar outfit but she doesn't look half has good to me. Sam comes pounding down the stairs and puts his arm around Jo's shoulder. I am glad to see him have an interest in a woman since Jess. I don't know what those two are up to but they have been flirting all week. "Ok ready to go?" I ask.

We all pile in to the impala. I take the driver's seat and Sam takes the passenger side while the girls pile in back. We aren't but a few miles out of the house when Lara lets out a happy squeal. "What's going on back there?" I ask her.

"I found my favorite tshrit. I had no clue where I left it!" Then she lets out another squeal. "And my favorite bra!" I turn around laughing has she's holding up a Guns N Roses tshirt and a hot pink bra. "What I practically lived in your car for a year."

I feel her digging around under the seats more. "Digging for more treasure back there?" I ask her with a laugh. She lets out snort and keeps digging under the seats. Then she pulls out a black lacey thong. "This is most definitely not mine." She says holding them up like they have the plague on them.

Shit, those are most definitely Sarah's. I remember taking them off last night. I shrug my shoulder and she throws them out the window. Jo hands Lara a present. "I can't wait till the restaurant just open it!" Jo says happily.

Lara digs through the paper and pulls out a box. "Jo please tell me you didn't." Jo starts to blush and shakes her head yes. Lara leans over and gives her a hug pulling a bottle out of the box and sprites herself with some kind of perfume. "Jo got me that bottle of perfume I was drooling over when we went shopping but I couldn't afford." Lara said happily.

Sam throws his present back too. "If we aren't waiting for dinner I guess you can open mine now too." She digs into the paper and pulls out a different kind of journal than the kind she has been getting from me since she was a kid. "It's a hunting journal like Uncle Bobby's and my dad's. Since you insist on hunting I insist you do it right." He says with a laugh. Lara holds up the red leather spiral journal and shows it to me. Her name is embossed on the front of it.

"Look Dean my own journal! I can't wait to put all the scraps of paper I've been writing shit down on in it." Only she and I would ever be excited about getting something like that for our birthdays. "So what did you get me?" She asks me jokingly.

I throw back two presents. She shakes the box and opens it knowing it what it is. I always get her a new dream journal. This one I found at a store in Maine. It looked tranquil. It has a moon on the front and the pages are a soft blue. She leans up and gives me a hug. "Thanks." She says softly. Jo pulls it out of her hands. "What is this?" She asks.

Lara meets my gaze in the rear view mirror. Only a few people know the truth behind her nightmares. "I get really bad nightmares and since I was a kid Dean has been getting me dream journals to write in." Jo accepts that and Lara starts to open the other box. I don't know what it is about her that makes me want to get her nice gifts. Last year I got her the dream catcher necklace and she hasn't taken it off since. I never get my girl friends jewelry but for some reason I like to get her things that she will think of me when she wears.

Lara holds up the bracelet and lets the light catch the crystal charms. I had seen it in a store a few months back and it just reminded me of her. She seemed like someone who would like a charm bracelet. I put a few charms on it already. There is a car for all the time we spend in this one, a silver cross for protection, and an Eiffel tower charm. She told me once that before she died she wanted to go to Paris so she could do one normal vacation in her life. "Dean I love it." She exclaims. She throws her wrist up front and insists I stop driving long enough to put it on her. She pulls her wrist backs and jingles it a bit. "Thank you." She words when I look back in the mirror.

Sam gives me a shocked look. He knows I don't do sentimental gifts. Hell growing up for Christmas I would give him a pack of slim jim's and baseball cards and call it a night. Before he can say anything we pull up at the restaurant. It's just a small pizzeria in the center of town near the theater. The bar is in between the two.

Sam sits next to Jo so Lara and I sit next to each other during dinner and the movie. Sam and Jo can't seem to keep their hands off each other and it is making it difficult for me to keep my hands to myself around Lara. We are finally out of the dark theater and we head next door the bar. The girls show their fake ids and we all get in with no problems.

"What do you want?" I ask Lara as she finds us a high top table to sit at. She shrugs her shoulder. "Get me something girly." She says with a laugh.

I head to the bar and come back with a beer for myself and a cosmo for her. If it wasn't her birthday I would mock her relentlessly for having one. "Thanks Dean." She says mocking me knowing how much it pained me to order that at the bar.

"You owe me one squirt." I laugh back at her. She smiles at me and takes a sip of her drink. Sam comes back with two drinks for him and Jo too. They barely sip on them before Sam takes her out to the dance floor. "So they seem to be getting along well." I remark to Lara.

She gives me a sad look like she might start to cry. I immediately put my arm around her shoulders. "What's wrong Lara?" She leans into me for a moment and I lean down and kiss the top of her head wishing it was her lips. STOP IT DEAN! I mentally hit myself again. If these mental hits were real I would be black and blue by now.

"It's hard for me to see Sam with someone else. I know that sound stupid but I keep thinking of Jess. I am happy he is happy and it's been almost a year that she has been gone but it's hard for me." I don't know what to say to her. "I know about the werewolf girl Dean. Don't worry you're not breaking any bro code. I guess it's just hard for me to accept Sam moving on when I still miss her."

Lara looks out at Sam and Jo dancing and I can see what she means. Jo is grinding up on Sam and he seems to be enjoying himself quite thoroughly. "Do you think if I ever get lucky enough to have what Sam had and I die he will be able to forget me so easily?" She asks me almost in tears.

I let go of her shoulders and move in front of her and wait for her to look at me. "First of all I will never let you die." She looks away and I shake her shoulder until she looks back at me again. "Got it?" I ask her. She shakes her head yes. "Second of all whatever guy is lucky enough to land you could never get over you." She slumps her head and I don't know if she believes me but she heard it at least.

"Dance with me?" She asks standing up and extending her hand. I take her hand and shake my head. I will do about anything to get her out of her funk right now. She knows I can't stand to see her sad. By the time we get out there it's a slow song and she rests her head on my chest. "Did you mean what you said Dean?"

"Of course! I won't let anything happen to you. You're not going to die anytime soon. Not on my watch." I assure her. She shakes her head no. "Not about that. When you said that if I guy was lucky enough to get me he wouldn't be able to forget me."

Shit, I think I messed up. Did that sound like a pick up line? I freeze for a moment not sure how to continue. Fuck it, it's her birthday I'll just tell her the truth. I shake my head yes. "Lara when you find the one, and I know this is dangerously close to a chick flick moment so if you ever tell Sam about this I will deny it and say you were drunk, but when you find the one that's it. There is no getting over them. Look at my dad and mom. She was his soul mate. He never got over her. Has much as it pains me to say it I don't think Jess was Sam's soul mate." Am I growing boobs? I would never admit it not even to Lara but I can use my parents has a test for real love is. They were truly and utterly in love. You could tell by the way my dad looked at my mom and she looked at him. Dad never got over her. I know he has had sex since she has died but I know he has never loved someone again. She was his one and only.

Lara looks up at me and for a moment I want to lean down and kiss her but I feel a hand on my shoulder and I let go of Lara and turn around. You have got to be fucking kidding me. "Hey Dean, mind if I cut in?" The blonde asks me in a way she thinks is seductive.

"Actually Sarah I'm a bit busy right now. I'll come find you later." The blonde's smile drops for a moment then is plastered back on. She points to a seat by the bar. "Come find me in a bit, we can pick up where we left off last night." I can't believe she just sad that. For all she knows Lara is my girl friend and I just made a bad judgment call last night and cheated on her.

Sarah saunters off and when I turn back to look at Lara, she looks pissed. "Who was that?" She asks me. "Remember my graduation party?" I ask her. That's the first time I hooked up with Sarah. Girl is easy what can I say.

She shakes her head then realization dawns on her. "Oh wait a minute. That was the girl that was a bitch to me at the diner that night for Sam's 16th birthday party!" I had forgotten about that one actually. Then her eyes grow large and she gives me an angry look. "Let me guess, that was black lacey thong girl wasn't it?"

"Yeah I was. I went out last night and meet up with her. It had been awhile and things got out of control." Lara takes a step back and for a moment she looks hurt. She knows I hook up with girls, we had hunted together for a year and that's how I often times celebrated the end of a hunt.

Before she can respond I see a man come up behind her. "Lara Maywin?" The man asks. Is there a reason every time we go out some guy decides to hit on her? Lara turns around ignoring me. "Brad!" She shouts out giving him a hug.

"How long has it been? Two, three years?" Lara asks him still refusing to turn around and look at me. He smiles and shakes his head. "Yeah I think three years. You were nice enough to help out the only senior in your Latin two class. I was way over my head." Lara lets out a laugh and I can imagine her face without even having to see it.

Brad motions at me and Lara finally turns around. "Oh yeah sorry. Brad this is Dean Winchester. You might remember his brother Sam Winchester. He was two grades ahead of you. The boys are in town for my birthday which just so happens to be today."

"Sorry if I am interrupting something." Brad says motioning between Lara and me. Lara shakes her head no grabs Brad's arm and goes off to the bar to get another drink. Leaving me alone in the middle of the dance floor. Sam makes eye contact with me and nods to the bar where Lara and Brad are now getting drinks. I shrug my shoulders and he takes Jo's hand and comes back over to me. "What's going on?" Sam asks.

"I think his name was Brad." Oh I damn well know his name. "I guess they had Latin together his senior year." Sam shrinks his face together and I can tell he is thinking for a moment. "Oh yea I remember him. His brother graduated with me and was on the soccer team with me. They were nice boys."

For once I was hoping for over protective Sam to rear his ugly head and go over there and kick some teenage ass. Sam points to Sarah who is waving at me. "Who is that slut?"

I sigh. "Her name is Sarah. I hooked up with her a few times since high school. Last night being one of those times." Sam laughs at me and Jo hits me in the stomach. "You're an idiot." She says with more venom then I think the situation warrants.

"What! It's not like she's married or I'm married. Were two single people who hooked up a few times." I defend myself. Jo rolls her eyes at me and grabs Sam to take her back out dancing. Sam gives me I don't have a clue what is wrong with her shrug and resumes his horizontal attempt at sexing up Jo.

Lara is in deep conversation with Brad and she keeps brushing up against his chest, laughing, and brushing her hair off her shoulder. Every once in awhile she makes eye contact with me and quickly looks away. I give up and walk over to Sarah's table. "So what are you up too?" I ask nonchalantly.

Sarah gives me a sly smile. "I was hoping to run into you again. I had a great time last night, just like I do every time you come into town." I want to roll my eyes but I know it would probably blow my chances at a sure thing to mock her now. "So who's the girl?" Sarah asks me motioning towards Lara.

That's a question I don't want to answer. Saying she's my business partner just doesn't explain her. Sayings she's a close family friend doesn't either. "It was awhile ago but do you remember a few years ago when you were working at that dinner and a little girl and I came into the restaurant and you were working?"

Sarah thinks for a moment. "That was the brat that told me to fuck off wasn't it?" She asks me getting angry. I let out a chuckle. "Yeah that was her." I don't like her calling Lara a brat.

"So what she your kid sister or something like that?" Wow this woman is dense. Does she really think I would dance with my kid sister like I was just dancing with her?

"No, were not related. I've known her since I was a kid. Her Aunt and Uncle took in Sammy when he started middle school so he could stay in one place instead of traveling around like I did. When she graduated she started working with me but she had to come back home for a family emergency." Sarah doesn't seem to register Lara has a threat and continues to flirt with me.

Four drinks later Lara comes up to me and grabs my arm. "Hey I am going to go over to Brad's for a bit. He'll bring me back later."

I stand up and tower over this Brad kid. "I don't think that is such a good idea Lara." I state blatantly boring holes into the kid with my stare. Lara pushes me back a bit. "I don't think you have much say in it Dean. Why don't you and Sarah go hook up in the car and I'll see you tomorrow."

Before I can respond she grabs Brad's hand stomps out of the bar. Dammit if she doesn't' look sexy pissed as hell! I love how her legs look stomping out of the bar in those leopard print heels. STOP IT DEAN! I turn around and Sarah raises her eye brow at me. I pull out my wallet and put some money down for our drinks and walk over to Sam and Jo who are currently making out in a booth. I cough until they both stop and look at me. I throw Sam my keys. "I am going to walk back to Bobby's you guys come back when you are ready." Sam gives me a questioning look but Jo brings his face back to hers before he can become too concerned.

I walk over to Sarah's table. "Mind giving me a lift? I gave my brother my car for the night." Sarah smiles grabs her purse and I follow her outside. We get to the car before she jumps on me and starts shoving her tongue down my throat. I don't want to but I reciprocate. I turn her around and shove her roughly against her car while I fumble with her keys to unlock the back door and shove her in.

Sarah pushes herself back into the seat and smiles at me lifting up her skirt. "Couldn't find any panties after last night." She smirks at me. I don't say anything back and pull out a condom and pound her in the back of her car.

When we are done I roll off her and start to pull my jeans back up. I didn't even bother to get us naked. I feel dirty. I don't even like this girl. When has that stopped me before? This can't be about Lara, she is only 19 and she thinks of me has her older brother! This whole situation is a mess. Sarah smiles at me and rubs her hands up and down my chest. "One more round before I get you home?"

I shake my head no. "I need to be getting back." If she's hurt she doesn't show it. We move to the front seat and she drops me off at Bobby's. When I put my hand on the handle she grabs me and kisses me. "Call me sometime?" She asks.

"I am leaving tomorrow. Maybe next time I am in town." She shakes her head and drives off. I see my car sitting the drive way so I assume Jo and Sam are back. Has I walk by it I notice the car is moving and is quite steamy. I don't have to look in the back seat to know what's going on. I go up the stairs and wait inside on the couch.

Around 2:30 Sam and Jo come stumbling into the house both moon eyed over each other. Sam stops when he sees me. "What are you doing up?"

"Waiting for Lara. Go to bed." I tell him. Jo grabs his hand and they both head upstairs. I hear Lara's door open and close then Sam's door open and close so I assume Jo is doing the smart thing and sleeping with her mom.

I look at my phone and it's almost 4 am. I hear a car come up to the front door and a door open and shut quietly. I hear Lara's heels clacking on the gravel and up the stairs and hear her fumble with the door. She opens the door and gives me a shocked look. "What you doing up?" She asks me angrily.

"Wanted to make sure you got home alright." I wait for her to come in and she runs up the stairs to the bathroom. 15 minutes later she comes back down in her pajamas. This time it's a white cotton spaghetti strap sleep dress that stops right below her thighs. "Have fun?" I ask her sarcastically.

"Probably a lot less than you did Dean!" She spats back at me. I start to say something but she cuts me off. "We didn't have sex if that is what you are so awkwardly trying to ask me." Then she gets on the sofa and pulls the blanket over her head.

I stomp off to my own bed and lie down trying to sleep. After an hour I hear her start to moan and another hour she starts to scream. I don't care if she is pissed off at me I am going to go wake her up. I go into the living room and her face is scrunched up in pain. I grab her before she can let out another scream and I shake her awake. Her eyes flutter open and she focuses on me. "Dean?" She says breathlessly.

"Yeah it's me." I say pushing her over until she is lying on my lap. "Wanna talk about it?" I ask her.

Lara looks up at the ceiling for a moment then sighs. "It was bad Dean." She goes quiet and I start to run my fingers through her hair trying to calm her down. It's been a few minutes and I don't think she is going to elaborate. "There was a frat boy. I think I was in California. The demon in me makes a deal with him but of course he doesn't know he made a deal at all. He wanted to have the and I quote most awesome rush ever. So he buys me and another girl with his soul. He gives us up to the all new recruits. Letting each of them fuck us in their frat house. After they agree to the join the frat the other girl and I…" She closes her eyes and starts to cry. "They gang raped us Dean. I could feel it." She rolls into me and cries into my stomach.

I do what I can to comfort her wishing that she could just forget this whole thing happened. "Are you still mad at me?" She asks me pathetically through her sobs.

"I was never mad at you Lara. Now come on lets go to bed." I say helping her stand up. She stands up and gets on her toes and kisses me cheek. "Thanks Dean." I help her into my room and we both lie down. After about 15 minutes she rolls over and looks at me.

"Are you still mad at me Lara?" I ask her. She shakes her head yes. "I'm not mad Dean. You know I can never stay mad at you. I am just hurt." Then she rolls over and goes to sleep.


	25. Chapter 25

Lara POV

"Lara we need to talk honey." Uncle Bobby says has he comes into my room. He sits down on the bed next to me. Ellen and Jo headed out yesterday. Sam and her spent all morning in his room doing only god knows what and they both reemerged looked a bit messy and love struck. Everyone pretended not to notice but it was obvious especially when they both had hickies on their necks. "Honey do you remember Danny Elkins?" He asks me.

"Of course I do! Is he coming?" I love when Danny comes to the salvage yard. He is a great hunter. He would help me train and do all kinds of awesome shit. He taught me how to use piano wire to decapitate someone. He is a bit of an expert on vampires. He trained me on how to kill them with just a few movements. He told me that they were practically extinct but he wanted me to know how to protect myself.

Bobby shakes his head no. "Honey I just got news that he is dead. He was attacked and killed in his home."

This isn't possible. Danny was too good a hunter for that. "I am going to go check it out." I state. Bobby looks at me and shakes his head in understanding. "I knew you would say that. Take the boys with you. I don't want you going alone."

I don't want Dean going with me. He hurt me. I know he didn't mean to but he did. I have no right to be jealous. I have no right to ask him not to hook up whatever woman he wants to but I want to have that right. Then I came home early yesterday morning and he acts like I did something wrong. I just went home with the guy for a bit. We put in a movie kissed for a bit then I came home. Nothing more than he copping a bit of feel. We made up but the last thing I need is for us to go out on a hunt have him hook up with some bar slut and me have to deal with it again. But I know I can't say no to Uncle Bobby.

It doesn't take long for us to pile back in the car ready to go. Uncle Bobby promised to call me if anything happened with Aunt Karen while I was gone. I feel bad leaving her but I have to. Danny was killed and I have to find out why.

We don't talk much on the way there and I just relax in the back of the impala. This car has always felt like home to me even though it wasn't ever my car. I love how it smells and how the leather feels under me. It's coming up on midnight when we pull up at Danny's shack in the woods. We get out and look around.

The inside is a mess. Dean catches me eye and I can tell he is trying to see if I am doing alright. He knows I was friends with Danny. The ceiling has two sky lights blown through and there are broken pieces of furniture and blood everywhere. SHIT! I almost forgot about his most prized possession. Uncle Bobby doesn't even know about it. I run for his safe to find it is already open. "SHIT!" I scream out and I fall to the floor.

Dean comes running over to me and puts his hands on my shoulders. "What's wrong?" I look at the floor refusing to look up so Dean doesn't see the tears in my eyes. This isn't how I wanted Danny to go. And whatever killed him took the colt. I look down at the ground when I see scratch marks. "Give me a piece of paper and a pencil." I demand. Sam hands them to me and I trace the floor and hand it up. "It's a post box." I state.

Sam and Dean both try to get me to talk the whole way to the post office but I'm not ready yet. I know what did this but they won't believe me. We pull up and I put the combination in and pull out a letter. There is one name on the letter. Lara.

He knew I would come. We head back to the car and the boys look at me expectantly. "You going to open it?" Dean asks. I sigh and before I can respond there is a thud on the window and I scream pulling out my gun and facing the source of the noise. "JOHN!" I scream out.

I jump out of the car and give him a tight hug. Then on second thought I slug him in the jaw. "Where the fuck have you been? We have been calling you for almost a year now! Sam needed you!" I scream at him.

John looks back at the boys. "You didn't tell her?" He asks. I whip back around to look at them. "Tell me what!" I yell at them.

Dean flinches and moves closer to me. "We meet up with a dad a few weeks ago but we decided to stay apart. He's been hunting the demon that killed Jess and mom."

I want to punch Dean but I restrain myself. "We will talk about this later! What have I told you about not telling me shit?" Dean moves backwards knowing I will punch him if he comes any closer. I turn my gaze on John. "So do you agree with me?" I ask him knowing he knows what I am thinking.

"Yes, it was definitely Vampires who took him out." He says sadly. That gets a rise out of the boys. Dean looks up. "Not possible. You said they were legend." Dean says to John.

"No I said they were extinct. It would appear I am wrong and they just got revenge on Danny for almost eradicating them. Come on I got a room in town already. We are going to need each other if we plan on getting this done."

Sam gets in the truck with John I know he wants to talk about the demon that killed Jess and I get in the car with Dean. I slam the door and the moment we are alone I glare at him. "Why didn't you tell me about seeing your father Dean?" I ask him trying to keep myself from killing him.

"I am sorry Lara. When we meet up it didn't go well. We got attacked and realized it was better if we stayed apart. Sam and I are dad's greatest weakness just like you are… and Sammy are mine." I can tell he is sorry for lying to me and I can't stay mad at him for long anyways.

"You lie to me again and I'll start by cutting off your toes." Dean lets out a chuckle and I look at him and laugh too. "I missed you." I say sadly.

Dean gives me a questioning look. "We were together nonstop for a year than Aunt Karen got sick and when you came back this week you didn't act like you. I have missed you Dean." I can't say what I actually feel but this is close enough. I want to say I love you and being apart from you physically hurts me and when you hook up with other women it feels like my heart is being ripped out of my chest and pissed on. So I stick with I missed you.

Dean leans across and puts his arm on my shoulders. I love how I feel when he touches me. "Don't worry Squirt. You'll always have me. Now let's go kill us some vamps."

The rest of the night is spent by John and I explaining to Sam and Dean how to actually kill a vamp. Most all the writings about them are fake and there is only one way to insure they are dead, cutting off their head. If you want to stun them the only way is dead man's blood. Dean did not take them not being afraid of sunlight very well.

The next morning John wakes us up saying he heard it something on the police scanner. We didn't get enough sleep for me to even have a nightmare thankfully. "Come on guys we got vampires to kill!" He says kicking out beds. Dean lets out a chuckle. "Vampire, it really does get funnier every time you say it." I give him a glare warning him not to joke about it. These fuckers are deadly.

We get to the site and find out that two people were taken from their cars. Shit. I look at John and I know he knows. "We have a few hours max before they are dead." John states. When Dean and Sam run ahead I run up to John. "I think they have the colt John."

John looks at me and I see him wince. "I knew that bastard had it." I shake my head yes. "Fuck we got to find it before they know what they have."

I catch up to the boys and John looks at the car and yells at Dean. "Fix the car Dean. There is rust all over it! I wouldn't have given it to you if I thought you'd trash it!" Dean looks hurt but I know it's John's way of dealing with his anger. I grab on to Dean's arm and squeeze giving him an apologetic smile. "Don't worry about it. No one loves baby like you do, except maybe me." I say to him hoping to keep him calm.

Sam doesn't get back in the truck with John and we all pile into the impala. I guess they are back at each other's throats. They always did fight. It got better after Sam moved in with Uncle Bobby and Aunt Karen but they still fought when he came by. They just don't see how similar they truly are. That's why they fight so much. Especially now that they have both lost their women to that demon they are even more alike than before. I take the back seat and Dean gives me a worried look. "What were you and dad talking about?" He asks me. I was hoping he missed it.

I look out the window refusing to answer. "What were you guys talking about Lara?" He asks again. I look at them. "It's… it's something that not everyone believes Dean."

Dean looks back at me from the mirror. "It's a gun Dean. A hunter named Samuel Colt made a gun and made 12 bullets. He shot it 6 times so there are 6 bullets left. Danny got it. I was the only person he ever confided in about it. He told me he couldn't risk telling other hunters about it because of what it can do. John always suspected but wasn't sure.

"What does the gun do Lara?" Dean asks again.

I take in a deep breath. "It kills anything Dean." Sam takes in a deep breath. "Can it kill what killed Jess?" He asks.

"It kills anything." I state again looking out the window. My phone rings and I pick it up. John gives us directions to the barn he thinks the vampires are hiding out. We get there right has the sun is coming up and we hid in the bushes waiting to see if they are there.

After about an hour a vampire comes driving up and walks to the door when another vampire comes out. "Shit, they really aren't afraid of the sun are they?" Dean swears under his breath.

I laugh at him and hit him with my hip. "I told you so. Danny knew everything about these fuckers and he told me never to believe anything he didn't tell me directly. That letter he left me included everything he ever learned about them. I put them in journal before we left actually." I miss Danny. He was so lonely. He wife was killed by vampires and that's what got him into the business. He also included a personal letter to me but it's private. I'll let Dean look over Danny's notes on Vampires but not that. I have the note in my pocket. I read it so many times I have it memorized.

_Dear Lara,_

_ If you are getting this I have passed on. Don't you fret over me little one I am finally back with my wife. I know I have left a great burden on you. You are the only person who knows about the colt. Keep it safe and don't let it fall in the wrong hands._

_ I never told anyone but when my wife died she was pregnant with a little girl. We were going to name her Daphne. She was 6 months pregnant when she died. You reminded me of the girl I always wanted. Spunky and intelligent. _

_ I have left you a copy of everything I know about vampires. Only believe what I have written. Most of what's out there is crap. _

_I love you little one,_

_ Danny_

Dean shakes my shoulders and look up at him. I must have zoned out thinking about Danny. I pull out my journal and have him read what Danny left me about vampires. When he is done I put it back in the impala. We wait until it seems like they are all sleep. John looks at his boys knowing I know this. "They are asleep but they will wake up. So be quiet." We start to dig through our weapons and supplies and Dean hands me a machete but I grab my angel blade too. I always feel better with this in my hands. I don't like most blades but this one feels like second nature to me. It moves with my arms in a way no other blade ever could. I still prefer guns but no gun except the colt could ever hurt a vampire. I know Danny never used it. He died with 6 bullets in that gun, enough to probably kill whatever attacked him. I will kill those fuckers for killing him.

John looks at me and points. "What kind of weapon is that?" He asks. I smile at him knowing he never has and never will see a blade like this again. "This is a gift from some friends." I say smiling. John knows that all the hunters fall head over heels for me. They have since I got into the world. It's why he wasn't surprised when Danny only ever told me about the Colt and why he isn't surprised now that I have some crazy looking weapon.

We all creep up to the barn and start to walk in. We get quiet and tip toe through the beer bottles and the bodies. I have to find the couple first then we can kill the vampires. I find the man torn to pieces on the floor. Sammy makes a waving motion and I look over at him. He found the woman. He gets down low and I pull out my blade ready to attack if anything comes after him.

"Wake up." Sammy says quietly. "I am here to help." The woman opens her eyes and starts to scream. She's been turned. Our instincts take over and we run. Dean is at my side in a moment grabbing my hand and pulling me out of the building. Sam is close at our heels. When we get to the top of the hill where our cars are we are panting. We look back and for a moment I am worried they got John but he comes running up the hill.

John looks me. "They have our scent."

"Until they die or we die." I respond.

Sam looks between the both of us. "What do we do now?"

John and I look at each other and respond at the same time and smirk at each other. "Dead mans blood." I think I could used to hunting with John Winchester. Man is cold as ice but he's efficient.

We get back to the hotel and Sam stays with John while Dean and I go break into a funeral home. "So why do all these hunters trust you so much? You know about the colt you have that blade. And I know you've had that blade since we started practicing. Hunter's don't trust anyone but they all seem to bend over backwards for you."

I smile. "I was 10 when I started meeting all of Uncle Bobby's contacts. They trust me for some reason and feel the need to confide in me. Most hunters live solitary lives and they get lonely. They just need to get stuff off their chests Dean. For some reason they like to talk to me. I can't tell you how many hunting secrets I have up in this head of mine."

"I want you to tell me them all someday." He says with a smirk. I shake my head yes and he accepts the answer and we break in and get has much blood as we can.

When we get back to the hotel it's easy to see that the air is thick with emotion. My angel blade could actually cut it if I brought it out. Sam and John must have had a serious conversation when we were gone. They look at each other and I can tell both of them got a lot of their chest. I'm glad. They needed to talk. We drop the jar of blood on the table and John gives me a proud smile.

*A few hours later*

"Dad I really don't like using Lara has bait!" Dean whines at John. I give him an incredulous look. "Dean I am a hunter and you'll be right there you dumb ass! They went after a couple last time so we are going to try and use the same ploy to get them to take us.

I manage to push Dean out the door and wink at Sam and John on our way out. We get in the impala and in the middle of the woods we pull over. I put on my best southern accent. "Well Dean I am just so scared the car broke down." He laughs at me and gets out of the car pretending to work under the hood.

It doesn't take long for the vampires to show up. "You folks need some help?" The girl asks us. I smile at her and bat my eyes. "We are visiting from down South and our car broke down. I was told you northerners were all rude but my my aren't you guys the friendliest folks I've meet in awhile stopping on the side of the road to help strangers like ourselves."

I hear the whoosh of two arrows go through the air and puncture the vampires. They give us confused looks and I turn off the southern charm. "Dead mans blood, isn't that poison to you?" I ask swinging my machete at the male vampires head.

Dean raises his hand and takes the machete over the woman's head. I look at him and smile. "See not so hard is it." I say with a laugh. He laughs back at me. John and Sam come out of the woods and John gives an appreciative glance. "Didn't think you had it in you kid!" He says proudly.

"We better cover our scents." I reply. We all get into the woods and start to burn saffron and skunk cabbage. Danny assured me this is the only way to cover our scents. It smells horrible but if we want to stay alive we have to breath it in.

I start the fire and Dean starts to cough. "This smells like shit!" He says with a laugh. "That's the point Dean. Don't' want them to smell us."

Sam and John start to fight behind us. "You aren't coming back are you?" Sam yells at him. John glares at him. "I am going after the demon alone Sam."

"No dad! I have just as much right to kill that fucker has you do. He killed my Jess!" I haven't heard Sam this angry in a long time. "No Sam! I lost your mother and almost died under the grief of it all. I can't lose my boys either. It would kill me." He leaves no room for debate. I can see his heart breaking in his eyes at the thought of losing his sons. For the first time I understand why he left. He didn't want to risk the demon getting of his sons.

That seems to shut them up and Dean and I look at each other. "Let's finish up with these vamps and we can fight about this later." I tell them all. "So what's the plan?" I ask John.

He smiles at me but it doesn't reach his eyes. "I know we don't usually like to separate on a case but there are 4 of us. So I think Sammy and Lara you guys go to the barn and kill the nest. Dean and I will get the leader away from the nest and get the gun."

I shake my head no. "They will only leave a few left at the nest. The best fighters will go after you boys for killing the leaders mate. You three stay together and I'll take care of the nest." I pull out my machete and angel blade and swing them around for effect.

Dean starts to speak up to say no but John puts his hand out. "She has a point Dean. They will only leave a few back there and only the weakest ones at that. The leader will come after you for killing his mate." Dean doesn't look happy but he never defies his dad so I know he'll go along with this.

The boys take off in the truck and I look at the impala with love in my eyes. I caress the side of the car. "Finally baby, I get to drive you." I say with a laugh and get into the driver's side. I hit the gas and pull up the barn. She feels amazing under my control. I understand why Dean never lets anyone else drive her. If I had this feeling everyday no one would ever take her from me.

Like I thought they only left a few of the weaker vamps back here. I kill them quickly and turn around to see the leader frame the door way. "Fuck." I mutter.

He crosses the doorway and walks up to me. "You killed my nest." I stay still like a statue. "But your boy friend killed my mate." He snarls. "What do you say we go pay him a visit?" He knocks me upside the head and it all goes black.

I come too and there are two vampires drinking from my wrists. I slowly raise my head and look around. The leader looks at the vampires drinking from me. "Stop. I don't want her dead before the fun begins." He says coldly.

He yanks me up out the chair until I am face to face with him. My feet are just dangling in mid air. "I am going to make your man wish he never fucked with me."

My eyes start to roll back in my head but he shakes me awake. "Don't even think about it"! He yells at me. I start to scream. "Uncle Cas! Uncle Gabe! Please help me!" The vampire looks around and no one appears. "UNCLE CAS! UNCLE GABE! Please!" I scream out again.

"I guess no one is coming now are they little girl." He says throwing me backwards. I worry I am going to be thrown into a wall but I fall down onto a mattress. The leader, Luther, stalks towards me with a knife in his hand. He takes the knife and drags it across his wrists. When he's right on top of me he puts his wrists to my mouth. I try to fight him but I know some of it got in. Fuck! Does this mean I'm vampire now?

Gabriel's POV

"Zachariah! Let us out this fucking instant or I swear to our father I will destroy you!" I scream out pounding against Castiel's and I prison.

"You know I cannot do that brother. This is her path and you must let it unfold. Do not fear she will not be turned." He says sickeningly calm.

Castiel slides down the wall putting his hands over his ears. "She is begging for us Gabriel. She is begging." He sobs out. I can feel the pull as well. She is petrified and she wants us to rescue her.

"If something happens to her you will not be able to hide from me!" I yell at the angel on the other side. He laughs. "You know nothing will happen. It is not the way it goes. She will be fine. Once I don't have to worry about you running to her I will let you out."

"You know that if we don't get out and stop John will kill her!" I scream back.

"That is risk I am willing to make if it keeps you from doing something stupid." He says walking away.

Castiel looks up at me with tears in his eyes. "He contaminated her."

"Balthazar will feel it. He will save her. He would never risk something happening to hurt Daphne." I say as much for myself as for my little brother crying next to me.

a/n so do you like it so far? If so review it! I barely got any last time!


	26. Chapter 26

Dean's POV

This isn't right. We know we set a good trail for them. They should be all over us by now but nothing. Not one vampire has come within a mile of us since we left. We made it obvious keeping what was left of that bitch in our truck hoping the smell would lore them out but nothing.

"Calm down Dean. Everything is fine." Dad says next to me in the truck. We are all three shoved in here like sardines and I had to take bitch because Sam and Dad don't get along.

"Where are they dad?" I ask angrily. I knew I shouldn't have let Lara go off alone. When dad suggested her and Sammy going off I was going to suggest her and I go together. Then at least I knew she would be safe. Then she came up with the idea to go alone and everyone just jumped right on board with that dumb ass plan. When I tell Bobby about this he will kill my dad. Then I won't have too!

Dad looks in the mirror to see if anyone is following us. "They will come Dean. We killed Luther's mate. He will come to exact revenge. They probably just have a trap set for us up the road a bit. You boys have your machetes and dead man's blood?"

Sammy mumbles something that resembles a yes but he is still too mad at dad to talk to him. I have a bad feeling about all of this. Something is wrong. I can feel in it in my bones. Lara should have texted me to let me know she was done by now.

We keep driving in silence all of us constantly visually combing the area trying to find them. After another 10 miles or so I see cars blocking the road up ahead. "DAD!" I yell out. He looks at me and nods pulling the car to a stop.

We all get out of the car. Sam pulls up his bow and arrow aiming it right at Luther his machete attached to his hip and I hold my machete with my bow on my back while dad starts to approach him. "I don't want any problems. Give me the colt and I'll be out of here. I'll even give you your mate back."

Luther lets out a laugh. "I know she's dead. I'm not stupid." He spits out at dad. "And you will be soon too. In fact I plan on letting my newest vampire drain all but one of you." He looks behind him and motions to some vampires hiding in the woods. Two males are holding up a smaller figure between them dragging it into the middle of the road. In the dark I can't quite make out who it is.

The males stop behind Luther and he grabs the figure and I can see his fingers digging into her chin as he lifts her face. "LARA!" I scream out running towards her. Dad puts up his arm stopping me. They have Lara.

Luther looks at me and smiles. "You killed my mate it only seems fair." He sneers at me. They have Lara. They are going to die. He cuts his wrist and puts it to my Lara's face. He holds her nose shut and shoves his wrist in her mouth. I can see her fighting but she is exhausted. I can see the bite marks on her arms. She is near drained herself.

"Give her back and we will let you live!" I yell at them. He lets out a laugh and grabs Lara by the throat and lifts her head up to his mouth. He licks up the side of her face licking the blood that was dripping down from a cut on her eye brow. "Her blood taste marvelous. I almost don't want to turn her. I could drink this for eternity. She tastes unique." He then looks at me noticing I spoke. "There are three of you and what 10 of us with a soon to be newbie I don't think you have any way of making demands Dean."

I lunge forward again but Dad grabs my arm and pulls me back. Luther breathes in deeply at Lara's neck. "Interesting." I give him a questioning look. "She is still a virgin. That will be nice to have a nice tight fuck until I am done with her."

"DON'T YOU FUCKING TOUCH HER!" I scream at him raising my own bow and arrow. Luther moves his free hand up and under Lara's shirt squeezing on her breasts. She lets an uncomfortable moan and I see her shudder.

"I am going to touch her all I want for as long as I want. I will fuck her until she is so crazy she thinks I am you and past that. She will become a play thing for this nest. Being passed from one vampire to the next. Hell maybe I'll even let other nests we come across fuck her. There is a nest a few states over of just males. They pick up stray females and pass them around even after they are dead. Imagine how much fun they will have with her nice tight cunt. Don't worry Dean she will adapt. They all do. She will start to enjoy it and crave it. Then when her mind is truly broken I will bring her to you. And I will watch has she drains the life out of you one sip at a time." He squeezes her breast again and rips open her shirt. The rage builds in me. How dare he touch her naked skin? He rips her bra open and sinks his teeth into her chest. "Hmm tasty!" He moans into her chest.

I give dad a glance. We have to kill them before he can hurt her anymore. Dad makes an eye motion and I know he has a plan. I just have to distract them. I put down my bow and arrow. "Take me instead. I promise I won't fight any of you. Take me and leave her." I say hoping dad can use this distraction.

Luther lets out maniacal laugh. "I don't play that way Dean. Never have much enjoyed dick much unless Kate wanted a threesome and even then it was just for her." I can't believe I am going to do this but it's for Lara. For Lara I can do and will endure anything. This is for Lara, I remind myself again. I walk up to the vampire and kiss him as passionately has I can. I want to throw up but I try to imagine it's Lara and not some sick fucking male vampire. I feel him relax against me and I shove my tongue in his mouth. He bites into my tongue a bit and I can feel blood fill my mouth followed by the horrible iron taste of it. Keep going Dean, this is for Lara. I hear him drop Lara. That's all I needed. I pull back and give him a cocky grin. "Maybe we can use you." He says with a smirk.

I take the blade covered in dead man's blood out from under my shirt and slam it in to chest. "Or maybe not!" I scream ripping it out of his chest and sawing at his head. His blood sprays out of his body like a hose and covers me but I don't care I keep sawing until I get his head off. He hurt Lara, he deserves to die.

Sam and Dad are taking out vampires behind me. I can hear them dying all around us. Once Luther's head is sawed off I fall on the ground next to Lara pulling her into my lap. Her shirt and bra are ripped open and bloody. I take off my jacket and cover her with it. "It's alright Lara. I am here. He is dead." I whisper into her ear rocking her back and forth.

The sound stops. I can't hear any more fighting and I look up to see dad aiming the colt at Lara's head. I immediately cover her with my body. "What do you think you're doing?" I scream at him hoping my body is hiding her enough. Sam moves in front of Lara as well. "She was given his blood Dean. She is going to be one of them soon."

I shake my head no. "There is always a cure. We just need to keep her from killing a human and we can save her." He will get to Lara over my dead body.

"Dean don't be stupid you know when she wakes up she won't be able to stop herself. We have to kill her now before she is too powerful." He slams the gun into Sammy's head pushing him out of the way trying to get the gun to her head. Sammy falls over unconscious next to us.

"Dad please don't do this!" I beg him. I know I sound pathetic but I'll beg for her. She is worth the loss of my dignity. "Dad I am begging you not to kill her. I will find a way. "

Dad frowns as he looks at me. "I am sorry son. I see the way you look at her. It reminds me of when I meet your mother." He stops getting lost in his own mind then realizes where he is and starts talking again. "I am going to use the colt, it will be quick and painless. I will do it son, I wouldn't ask you to kill her." Dad cocks the gun and moves it toward Lara.

I quickly move and grab the gun pulling the barrel to my forehead. "If you want to shoot her you will do so through me dad!" I scream at him. "She can fight it I know she can! We don't even know for sure if the blood got in her mouth!" I try to reason with him.

Dad tries to pull the gun free but I keep my grip on it holding the barrel to my head. "Son don't be stupid!" He yells at me. I keep my grip on the gun while I cradle Lara with my other hand. "Dean, I'm sorry I didn't know you were in love with her. It is for the best. She wouldn't want to become one of those things." Before I can respond there is a cough behind dad. Dad drops the gun and turns around to see who is still standing pulling his machete back up.

There is a man standing in the middle of the road. He is only a bit older than me. He has blonde hair and has a vee neck tshirt on under a blazer. "She is no infected. She cannot be infected I promise you that John. Wait until morning and you will see." The man says with a British accent.

Dad starts to walk towards him. "Who are you?" Dad stutters out. The man smiles and looks down at Lara. "It is not important who I am. If you kill her you will set in motion a chain reaction that will end in the end of the world. Do you want to be responsible for mankind not having any weapon against the apocalypse John?" The man asks my father.

Dad looks at the man and shakes his head. "But she was given his blood." He states. The man in front of us keeps his gaze on Lara and smiles sweetly at her. "She will wake up tomorrow weak from blood loss but I promise you she will not be a vampire."

The man turns around and walks down the road and then disappears. None of us move for a moment. Dad turns around and scrambles to grab the colt but I grab it first. "I am sorry Dean." He says stumbling to his truck. He gets in leaving us in the middle of nowhere. Typical John Winchester. I shove the colt in my pocket.

Sam starts to move next to me and I continue to cradle Lara's head while I move over to Sam to make sure he is alright. He opens his eyes slowly and looks at me. "What happened?" He asks.

"I'm not sure. Dad hit you and tried to kill Lara then some guy showed up and told him to stop then disappeared. Let's get in one of these cars find the impala and get the fuck out of here." I leave out that dad said I was in love with Lara. Where does he get off accusing me of that? I get up holding Lara in my arms. I get us to a car and get in the back seat with her. Sam gets up front and drives us back to the barn where Lara should have left my car.

We ditch the vampire's car and get back into the impala and drive as far from this place as we can. I can't let go of her. I almost lost her tonight. I allow Sam to drive much to his surprise. I need to feel her in my arms and hear her breathing. If I get a moment alone I might break down but for now I need to focus on her. About two hours out of town Sam pulls over to a motel and gets us a room. I carry Lara inside and put her on the bed while I run her a bath.

I know I shouldn't be getting any enjoyment out of bathing her but seeing her naked body in the water is definitely a turn on. I try not to focus on her perky breasts but it's so hard not to sneak a peak while they are right there. I definitely try to keep my eyes above the belly button but that is just as difficult. Her body is amazing, even if does look like the vampires made a meal out of her. Once she is clean I put her in one of my shirts and a pair of my boxers and tuck her into bed. I run out to the car and grab our medical kit. I start to sew up the wound on her head and the larger ones on her arms.

I find the tie off I had been looking for and tie it around my arm. "What are you doing Dean?" Sam asks me. I hit my vein trying to bring it to the surface and stick the needle in. The needle is attached to a clear hose that has a needle on the other side that I put in Lara's arm. I watch my blood go into her before responding to Sam.

"We have the same blood type Sam and she is weak. She needs blood." I move to the bed and lay down next to her cradling her head on my chest again. "Once I pass out take out the needle. She should have enough of my blood by then." I lean back against the head board ignoring Sam's pleas next to me. I kissed a male vampire tonight does he really think giving her my blood is too much?

a/n so what do you think? I am getting barely any response on this story so if you like it or if you hate tell me so I can work to make it better.


	27. Chapter 27

Lara's POV

Why do I feel so weak? My body feels like it's filled with lead and I can't seem to move my limbs without a lot of effort. I moan and try to roll over slightly when I feel a warm body under me. I snuggle into it for a moment and slowly open my eyes. "Dean?" I ask quietly.

He slowly opens his eyes and when he sees me looking at him he jumps up with excitement almost falling over himself. "What's wrong?" I ask him afraid. He looks a bit pale and shaky. Dean knells on the bed next to me putting his hands on my face checking for wounds. What happened to him? His skin is almost translucent and I can see dark purple bags under his eyes.

"You don't remember?" He asks me. I try to think back. Everything is really hazy then it comes back. The vampires! They got me. Oh no, they gave me their blood. I start to panic and I jump back from him afraid I could hurt him. Before I can get too far Dean has me pinned to him. "It's alright you weren't changed." He reassures me while he crushes me to him. It's hard to breath under his force. I start to calm down and feel my heart beating wildly into chest. If I was a vampire I wouldn't have a heartbeat.

Sam starts to move next to us and jumps up as soon as he sees I'm awake. "Lara! You gave us quite the scare. You haven't woken up since we got back here last night and Dean had to give you a blood transfusion."

I give Dean a confused look. "Where did you get the blood?" I ask him. He looks down at his arm and scratches the back of his head. "Please tell me you didn't risk yourself to give me blood." I say hoping he will tell me I'm crazy.

Dean turns red, not quite bright red because he has blood loss too. "You were really hurt Lara and we have the same blood type. You needed it to survive." I roll my eyes at him and lay back down into the pillows.

"So what happened?" Dean and Sam lock eyes and I can see they are trying to decide what to tell me. "Just tell me the truth." I growl out at them.

Dean gives me a defeated look. "It was a trap. I knew I shouldn't have let you take out the nest alone but you and dad insisted it would be fine! We were miles out of town before they showed up. Luther was going to turn you and we thought he gave you his blood but as you can see it didn't get in your system. So we took them out and then dad…" He looks at Sammy and Sammy gives him a look to keep going. "Dad thought you were going to turn and tried to kill you…"

My eyes grow wide with shock. "But I wouldn't let him do it! I told him he'd have to kill you over my dead body!" Before I can yell at him for being an idiot he starts back up. "Then the strangest thing happened. A British man appeared in the road and told dad not to kill you. He said you wouldn't be turned and that if he killed you he would start the end of the world or something. It was weird and dad bolted after." That sounds like Balthazar. I haven't seen him in years but he always came in a British vessel.

"So what now?" I ask them. Dean shrugs. "You need to rest." I give him a pointed look and he smiles. "OK we need to rest. Then we will get you back home with your aunt and uncle."

I don't want to fight him on that now. I want to go home but I also want to hunt with him again. He comes back into the bed and I cuddle into his side. He doesn't fight me off but holds me tight against him. I think he thought he almost lost me for a minute and I guess he almost did. I really thought the blood got into my system. It's a miracle I wasn't turned. Sam is already sound asleep snoring away happily on his bed. It takes awhile for Dean's heart beat to calm down and his breathing to even out. I finally feel calm enough to fall asleep myself.

I wake up and I can sense something is off. I pull myself out of Dean's embrace and am shocked when he doesn't move. He's a light sleeper he should have woken up. "Lara!" A figure calls out running to my side of the bed and pulling me into a tight embrace. "Oh sweetheart we had to make sure you were alright."

"Uncle Gabe?" I cry out. Then I look behind him and Uncle Cas is standing behind him. "Uncle Cas!" I can't help but start to bawl. I had wanted them to save me so badly. I begged them to come and save me in that barn. "Why didn't you come?" I cry into Uncle Gabe's chest.

He pets my head and I hear Uncle Cas sigh behind him. "We are sorry darling we were held in heaven. We tried sweetheart we did but another angel held us against our will. He reminded us that we cannot interfere with your path in life. The only time we can interfere is if you are about to die."

I pull myself back and look at the two angels I trust my life with. "Only if I am about to die? That vampire gave me his blood! I should be one by now! He then touched me and drank from me! John tried to shoot me! I was about to die!"

Uncle Cas moves quickly to the bed and sits down next to me. He grabs my hands. "Your path is set dear. That moment was always going to happen. These experiences are what form you and the relationships in your life. It had to happen that way. We were able to get word to Balthazar though. They didn't think to lock him up since he hasn't been as a major aspect of your life."

They were held prisoner for me? "We're you hurt? Please tell me you weren't hurt." Uncle Gabe laughs and shakes his head no. He leans in and kisses my forehead. "No darling we were not hurt. We were just locked in a room. We have something for you." He pulls out a package behind his back and hands it to me.

I had almost forgotten that my birthday was just last week. I look at the package and open it slowly. I pull out a vial. I give them both a confused look. They both just smile at me. "Um.. thanks?" I say really confused.

Uncle Cas and Gabe chuckle and give me hugs. Uncle Gabe grabs the vial and lifts it in front of me. "You are special Lara, your blood won't allow you to be turned into a vampire or a werewolf or whatever other creature might try to attack you. We made sure of that when you were born. This vial is for you to give to anyone you choose so that their blood is like yours. They will be protected. It won't keep you them or you from dying but it will keep them from turning into anything." I grab the vial and hold it close to my chest. I look down at Dean sleeping next to me.

"Why aren't they awake?"

They both chuckle again and Uncle Cas walks to Dean's side of the bed and touches the side of his face like a father would their child. "We put them under so we wouldn't be interrupted. It is not time for them to know about us yet dear. When the time is right we will allow you to tell them."

I let out a yawn. "I am sorry." I say laying back into the bed. They both take turns kissing my forehead. "It's alright darling now get some sleep." I fall asleep clutching the vial. I know just who to give it to who, the only person I can't imagine this world without.

The next morning I get up and start the coffee maker. I pour three cups of coffee and make sure to pour the vial into the one that is just black. I give Sam his one cream no sugar, I take my one cream and one sugar, and give Dean his black coffee. I watch him like a hawk until he finishes the entire thing. Then I let out the breath I didn't realize I was holding and lay back in the bed.

We spend a week in the hotel. Dean and Sam are petrified to take me back to my Uncle's house looking like I am. I look like a zombie. I'm pale shaky and I have open wounds all over my face and arms. They are afraid to tell Uncle Bobby about John trying to kill me. I told them not to tell my uncle but they are worried that Uncle Bobby will find out anyways.

"You ready to go?" Dean asks me from the bedroom while I take one more look at my face in the mirror. I unbutton my button up and pull down my cami to look at the bite mark on my chest. I hate how it looks on my skin. It makes me want to scrub my skin until I rip it off. I feel tears well up and I can't stop myself from letting them fall. I feel marked by that bastard. "Lara?" Dean knocks on the door and comes in.

He takes one look at my face and he panics. "Hey there, woah, why you crying huh?" He asks pulling me into a hug. I cry into his chest not wanting to talk yet. "What's wrong?"

I pull back and pull my cami down and point at the bite mark on my breast over my heart. "He marked me Dean. These are all going to scar. He has a piece of himself on me for the rest of my life. I'll never scrub him off." I pause for a minute not sure how to explain how much it hurts me to see his mark on me. "He touched me when I was at the barn."

"Did he…?" Dean doesn't want to say did he rape you. I shake my head no. "He said he wanted to wait for that until I was turned so that I would be tight for him." I can feel Dean's hands tense behind me. I know if he wasn't holding me he would be shoving his fist through a wall right now.

"How about once they are healed I take you to the tattoo parlor and we'll come up with something to cover them?" He sounds hopefully and honestly it's not a bad plan. I look up at him. "Really?"

He shakes his head. "Yep, we'll get something to cover them up. Something that you want on your body forever instead."

"I like that idea." I say drying my face of on his tshirt. "OK then let's get out of here. Sammy has all the stuff on the car already."

I start out in back but after a few hours Sam makes me switch seats with him so he can spread out and take a nap. We have been listening to the same ACDC tape for a few hours now and I need a change. I pull out the box of tapes under the seat trying to find Led Zepplin. I still can't believe he hasn't updated the music player in this car. "What you looking for squirt?"

I roll my eyes at my nick name and put the box of tapes back down on the floor. "I want to listen to something else. I want to hear the Immigrant Song. Where is the Led Zepplin tape?" I whine slightly getting ready to get in the back seat and start digging around back there.

"I think it's in the glove box." I sit back down and open the glove box and start to pull out stuff. We have quite a stash of fake id's and other nonsense in the there so it's hard to find anything. I keep digging and I come across a manila envelope and I pull it out. I don't bother asking him what it is because I'll just go through it anyways.

I open the envelope and pull out some papers. The first one is familiar but it takes me a moment to place it. I unfold it and I stare at it for a moment then it dawns on me. It's the paper I drew for him when I was five. The one where I put his name on it and drew the cars around it. I did a bunch for people that day that Sam taught me my letters. Behind it are a few other letters and pictures I drew for him over the years when I was younger. I look at Dean and he's still focused on the road. "Find it?" He asks me looking over for just a moment.

Dean does a double take and sees what I'm holding. "You kept these?" My voice barely above a whisper. Dean starts to blush. He would kill me if I said it out loud but he is. He looks back at the road for a moment then at me and starts to stammer. "Yea I did. I liked all the stuff you used to send me when you were just a tot."

I move over on the seat and give his cheek a quick peck. "It's sweet. It's the normal person equivalent to putting something on the fridge you keeping it in the car." Dean turns ever redder. I remember when I was younger and I would sit at my parents' kitchen table drawing him, Sam, and John pictures and cards and sending them out. I always did more for Dean though than any of the others.

"I'm gonna stop and get some gas maybe get some snacks from the 7-eleven. Do you need anything?" I shake my head no and look back and Sam and shake him a wake. "Hey Sam, Dean is gonna get some snacks you need anything."

Sam mumbles a no and sits up looking a bit disoriented. Dean starts to pump the gas and goes inside. It's the first time I've been alone with Sam since I got attacked. "Sam can I ask you something?"

"Yeah." He responds rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. I laugh in response. "What happened that night? I remember getting attacked at the barn but I don't remember anything from the road and Dean doesn't want to talk about it."

Sam gives me a worried glance and looks out to see Dean in deep thought over the snack food. "It wasn't good Lara. I don't think I have ever seen him so freaked out before. You know how Dean usually is. He's cool under pressure and cocky to a fault. When Luther pulled you out he lost it. He tried to blindly attack a few times but dad held him back." Sam stops and looks at Dean who is in a conversation with the clerk. "Luther started talking about how he was going to be with you and let his nest do whatever they wanted you and so forth and then Dean told Luther to take him instead. I know him and dad had a moment and there was a plan but he walked up to him and…"

"And what Sam?"

"If I tell you this and you tell Dean I swear to God I will cut off all your hair and pawn off all your clothes Lara." Sam says dead serious. I look back at him and laugh. "I swear Lara, promise me you won't tell Dean I told you this!"

"Fine Sam! I swear I won't say a word!"

"Well he told Luther to take him and to leave you. So he walked up to Luther and well he umm… well you see he thought it would be a good idea I guess too… umm…" Sam keeps blabbering on like a fool.

"For the love of god Sam what did he do?!" I can't believe Sammy the want to be lawyer isn't able to form a sentence right now.

"He kissed him! He walked up to him and French kissed him to distract him to drop you. Once Luther let you go he stabbed with dead man's blood and sawed off Luther's neck. Then while dad and I killed the rest of the vamps Dean covered you up because Luther had ripped your shirt off and shielded you. I have never seen him talk back to dad but he did that night. He told dad he would have to kill you over his dead body. Dad knocked me out before I knew what was happening but Lara I vaguely remember Dad pointing the gun at your head and Dean grabbing the barrel and pointing it to his forehead saying if dad wanted to kill you he would have to kill him first."

Holy shit! I jump and turn around in my seat to see Sam's face and he is dead serious. Dean kissed, no French kissed a male vampire to save my life. Before I can comment Dean opens the door and Sam gives me a shut the fuck up face and I turn around and sit down. Dean hands me some twizzlers and a slurpie. "Figured you might be hungry." And he passed back a banana and a bottle of water for Sam.

Sam falls back to sleep quickly and I keep thinking about what he told me. I can't believe Dean did that for me. Dean snaps in front of my face. "Earth the Lara. Are you in there Lara?" He jokes with me. I slap his hand away and laugh. "I'm here Dean."

"What's got you a million miles away?"

I turn my head to look at him. "Just thinking about that night. I don't remember anything after the barn. I just don't like not knowing what happened you know." What I want him to do is pull the car over and tell me that he realized he loved me when he thought I was going to die, but I know that won't happen. I'm his squirt nothing more.

Dean's jaw tenses. "That night was one of the worst nights of my life. I thought for sure you were a goner. I was never more afraid. But we got you out and you're safe now so no worries."

"If I had turned what would you have done Dean?" I have to ask that question. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and faces me.

"I wouldn't have let anything happen to you. I would have kept you from killing and found a way to turn you back. I wasn't going to let dad kill you and I wasn't going to let you turn into some kind of monster." He's serious and I know he would have done what it took to turn me back.

I sigh and look him in the eyes. "Can I ask you for a favor and not have you read anything into it or ask me why?" I don't know where this little bit of bravery came from but I don't want us to get in a fight again like we did a while back.

"Sure squirt, anything."

I take a deep breath. "When we are on the road together or you're at my house can you not hook up with random bar sluts or I guess just girls for that matter. It's awkward for me when you do." I try to find a reasonable reason for asking this of him. "I hate when you go off and hook with some girl and I'm left wondering if you are safe and stuff like that."

He doesn't respond for a minute and I'm worried he's going to accuse me of liking him and put me down easy. I just almost hear him saying _Now Squirt I am flattered that you have some kind of crush on me but I'm 8 years older than you and look at you like my sister. You know that I love you but only like a guy likes his sister._ But instead he smiles at me. "Ok I can do that. Do you think you can promise me the same thing? I was freaking out when you went home with Brad that night and I didn't know where you were and if you were safe."

"Deal!" I say happily. I don't want to read too much into it but he asked me not to hook up with guys when he's around either so maybe he could someday kind of just a little bit like me. I relax back in my seat and day dream the rest of the way home.

a/n thanks for all your awesome reviews last chapter. I got so few for a few chapters that I thought you guys got bored of this story. It's kind of funny when I started it I thought I would never like it as much as becoming free but the more I write it the more I like this one just as much.


	28. Chapter 28

John's POV

It's been 20 hours since I got Bobby's message. He left it on my voice mail while I was finishing up a hunt and doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out why he left it. "John you have 24 hours to get your ass back here or I am going to hunt you down and put a bullet through your fucking head!" I would be angry to if he tried to kill my niece the closest thing to a daughter I'll ever have.

What the fuck was I thinking that night? I love that girl like a daughter myself. I figured she was done for. Officially one of things we hunt. Honestly I didn't want her to have to go through the pain of being a vampire and the pain of dying as one. If I could get her before she changed she wouldn't even know what happened to her. I am alright with everyone hating me if I saved her from that pain. She is so sweet and kind and it would have killed me to see her as a blood thirsty killer. I shiver at the thought but I can so clearly see it. Lara waking up in Dean's arms on the side of that road. Her eyes blazing with that crazed look that's in the eyes of all the hungry predators we chase and kill. She wouldn't mean to but Dean would be cradling her body and he would be the closet to her. She would just have to lift her chin and sink into his neck. He would have died in minutes. Dean wouldn't even have fought her off, he would have been too worried he could hurt her. Maybe Lara would have snapped out of it after her first meal, in my nightmares she does at least, and she realizes that she killed him. She goes into shock and starts to sob on top of his drained body. For a moment I think that she won't kill again that maybe the pain of killing Dean will keep her from ever killing again, but I'm wrong. The calling in her body would start to hum again and she would turn around and see Sammy standing there in shock. It would only take a minute and his neck would be snapped and she'd be latched on to his jugular. The scene is so clear in my mind and I have woken up in a cold sweat for a week with that playing in my dreams.

Dean's response was a shock to me even though I assume it shouldn't have been. I should have seen it, but I guess I haven't been around a lot since she's grown up. My fault for being negligent. The moment he pulled that barrel to his head I knew he was in love. I don't think he knows it yet though. He'll figure it out someday but he's a stubborn bastard just like me. I knew Mary a few years before I realized I was in love with her. The moment I realized it though it changed my world. It was like everything realigned. I was living but after I realized what Mary was to me it was like everything beforehand was merely going through the motions. God I miss her. Every day I miss her, every night I miss her more. I can keep my brain moving enough during the day to sometimes forget about the aching in my chest for a few minutes maybe even an hour if I'm lucky but come night fall when I'm alone in some sleazy motel the pain is crippling. Sometimes I can still imagine her next to me in bed. Sure we had our fights what couple doesn't but I knew regardless of what we said during them that we loved each other and nothing could ever change that. I want my boys to have that and I think Dean could have that if he takes his head out of his ass.

Poor Sammy might live like that now. We should get disability or something, because living without the love of your life truly is disabling. When I think of how I raised my boys I wonder if I should have just been committed into a mental hospital. I was, no am, a crazy man on a mission. I won't be able to stop until it's fulfilled. But then again I have seen Sammy since Jess died. I thought she was it for him but I have seen him flirt with other women. He doesn't seem as totally destroyed by her death like I have been by Mary's, how I imagine Dean would be if Lara died. Some people are lucky enough to have more than one true love in this life and maybe Sam will be lucky enough to be one of those people. I wonder if once the demon is dead if I will truly be able to rest. I like the idea of sitting on a porch somewhere drinking a beer in the sunset. Just relaxing, no hunt on the horizon. Sometimes when I see that little fantasy I can even imagine grandkids running around. I guess it's better that I realized how royally I have fucked up now rather than never but the guilt of it…

I pull into Bobby's salvage yard and I see the impala parked out front. I don't know if it's better for me or worse that they are all here. I don't get two steps out of my truck before Bobby comes barreling out of the house with a shot gun pointed at my head. "You have 1 minute to explain why my niece almost had her brains shot out by you!"

Shit, I think he'll actually do it. "I thought she was a vampire Bobby. The vamp gave her his blood. She should have turned. I was trying to save all of us a lot of pain and suffering. If I thought even for a minute that she wasn't changing I wouldn't have done it. Then that British guy showed up out of nowhere." Please be enough my minute is almost up.

Bobby lowers the gun walks over to me and punches me in the jaw. I don't fight him back, he deserves that punch. "If you ever pull a gun on my girl again I will shoot you without question." Bobby looks back towards the house and sees no one coming out but they are all at the window looking at us. "I need to talk you in private."

I follow him deeper into the salvage yard until we are away from all prying eyes. "I will not be completely honest with you but I will tell you enough that if you ever think to do something stupid like that again you will stop. My niece is special John. And I know that look on your face I don't mean she's my niece so she's special. I mean she is special. She has guardians that you don't even want to begin to fuck with. From the sound of it you are lucky that British guy didn't just kill you for threatening her in the first place. I don't know what she is destined for but from the gist of what I have gathered she's plan B for the world if it goes south. If you ever try and hurt her again if I don't get to you first you will have all of heaven and earth after you."

What the fuck is going on? He makes her sound like the second coming of Christ or something. "Bobby what are you talking about?"

"I told you I can't tell you everything I know. I am not allowed too and neither is she and quite frankly I doubt she knows any more than I do and I think I know more than she does at that. She is protected and she has friends in high places John." Bobby keeps looking around like someone is lurking in the shadows to jump us. He looks around the yard then meets my eyes again. "Before you get your panties in a twist she is still human and will always be human. She isn't something to hunt she's just a very special human." I have learned my lesson he doesn't need to remind me.

"Bobby I truly am sorry. You know I love Lara but I was afraid. I thought she was a vampire and that she would wake up blood thirsty and dangerous. I was trying to do what I could to help. I knew that you and Dean would never be able to do it so I was trying to save you both that guilt. I would never have pulled that gun on her if I knew she was still human." I haven't been close to tears in front of another human for a very long time but at this moment I think I could be.

Bobby shakes his head at me. "I believe you. But you need to believe me when I say if it happens again I will kill you myself. Now let's get back before they all come searching after us to make sure I didn't bury you back here."

We walk back to the house and Bobby goes ahead of me into the house. I turn my head and I'm greeted by a fist flying at my face. I take a step back and look up in shock to see my oldest coming at me again with Lara holding him back. "Dean stop it! He's your father!"

"He tried to kill you Lara!" Dean screams out trying to get free from her and lunge at me again. Lara grabs on to his arms tighter making it so if he tries to break free and get to me he'll just hurt her. She whispers something in his ear that I can't hear. He starts to go slack and when it looks like the fight is out of him she slowly lets go.

"Come on John." Lara says walking past me towards the porch. When she gets to the door she turns around and looks at me. "Are you coming or what?" She asks me. I get in line and follow her outside. We walk to the end of the stairs and she takes a seat and pats the spot next to me.

We don't talk for a few minutes and just sit there in silence. Then she takes in a deep breath and gives me a tight hug. "Thank you John."

I keep my hold on her but I pull her back slightly and look at her. "Thanks for what?" Has she gone crazy? Everyone else is trying to kill me and she's thanking me.

"Thank you for being willing to do what needs to be done. If I had become a vampire Dean would not have been able to kill me and I would have killed him and Sam. Everyone may be pissed that you did it but I think it is brave and honorable. You were doing for me what any hunter would want, which is not to turn into what we hunt." She falls in to my chest and I kiss the top of her head.

"Honey I didn't want to. I know the boys have probably told you what happened but it was breaking my heart to pull that gun on you. I would have done what was necessary but I can guarantee you that when your Uncle and Dean would have found me I would have let them execute me without a fight because I would have known I deserved it. I let you go to that barn alone and it's my fault any of this has happened."

Lara looks up at me. "That wasn't your fault. I was my idea. And Uncle Bobby and Dean would not have been able to kill you because they would have realized what a gift you gave them. It would have been too hard for them to see me like that and they never would have been able to kill me. You are a strong man; don't let them tell you otherwise." Then she falls back into my chest and relaxes into our hug.

I thought of it that night in that split second before I pulled the gun. None of them would have come back from it. I was going to do it but not planning on having to live with the guilt for too long. If they couldn't kill me I could have easily died on a hunt. Gone out in a blaze of glory. "I know they wouldn't have been able to do it. I know that a bad reason for why I was going to but It's the only one I got. You are Bobby's niece and more than that you are like his daughter. Sam looks at you like his baby sister and he would have given you his own blood to keep you alive. And Dean well you are the center of Dean's universe." That gets a reaction out her. She pushes herself away from me and gives me a questioning look.

"What are you talking about?" Wow, the girl doesn't know. These two have got the densest humans on the planet.

I smile at her and look back at the house to make sure we don't have an audience. "You can't tell me you haven't realized that yet."

"Realized what?"

"What you mean to Dean. When you guys were kids and I would go to our PO box he would be giddy with excitement to see if you wrote us or more importantly him. And you never failed to have that box filled with stuff for him. When Sam moved in to Bobby's I wasn't' sure who Dean was more excited to see sometimes you or his little brother. Then when you found out what we do and what is out there and didn't talk to him for a few weeks or visit him in the hospital I thought he was going to crack."

Lara snorts. "I'm his squirt John, or course he has always been excited to see me." I let out a deep laugh laugh. "You were his squirt for years Lara but I think that's changing."

She shakes her head in disbelief and I continue. "When Bobby and I told him to leave you alone for your senior year so you could truly make your own decision he threw a shit fit. After screaming at us and fighting with us for hours he relented after we convinced him it was best for you. I never told him this and the boys never gave me credit for knowing what was going on with them but I knew he was missing you. When he thought no one was looking he would listen to your voicemails on his phone over and over again. He never deleted them. He kept all your letters since you were a kid. That stack in the glove box is just one pile of them." She finally looks up at me with hope in her eyes. "That night when I pulled the gun on you he grabbed the gun and put it his head telling me if I wanted to kill you it would be through him. You're the center of his world whether you want to be or not."

"I think you have misread the situation." Lara says trying to convince herself of it more than me but I can hear the hope in her voice. She loves him too. Only she knows it unlike my oblivious son. "You like him don't you Lara?" I ask her softly.

Her head jerks up and she makes eye contact with me. Her eyes are filled with fear. "What? How… umm… don't… oh god." She buries her head in her hands. I pull her into me giving her a hug. "Don't worry s_quirt_ I won't tell him." I won't have to. The boy will come to his senses at one point.

I wait until she has calmed down a bit. I dig into my pockets and pull out a box and hand it to her. She opens the box and peeks in at a pair of sapphire studs. "What are these?" She asks me.

I smile at her and pull them out of the box putting them in her little hands. "There wasn't much left from the fire. I few photos really. Every night during Mary's evening preparations…" I think back to how she would wash her face, brush her teeth, put on her face creams, and take off her jewelry. I used to love watching her do that from the bed. "She would take off her earrings, her wedding rings, and her necklace and put them in a tin on our sink. It was a tin from her mom's kitchen. I used to laugh that it was ugly but if she didn't put them in that tin I never would have found it after the fire. I gave Sam the necklace his mom used to wear and I know he gave it to Jess so I assume Jess died with it on. I gave Dean his mom's wedding rings and I just held on to her earrings. I realized that you are family. I gave my other children each a piece of their mother so I should give it to you too. You are everything to my boys and I wanted you to know that I love you like my own little girl and that I never would have hurt you intentionally."  
>Lara puts the earrings in her ears and smiles at me. "I love them. I will cherish these." She grabs onto the sapphires and twirls them a bit. "They look better on you then in a box in my duffel."<p>

We get up and walk back inside the house. Dean looks up at me from the couch and I'm worried he's going to try to hit me again. I won't stop him. Lara walks over to him and plops down on the couch. "You will stop giving your dad those looks Dean Winchester! He did what he thought was right." I still can't believe she actually agrees with what I did.

Sam is standing near the tv looking nervous. I wave at him and he waves back. That's better than a fist in the face I guess. "Hey I found some info on the demon. You boys ready to go with me tomorrow?" I ask them hoping they both say yes.

Dean grumbles something that resembles a yes and Sam's head darts up and he looks me in the eye. "Really?" He asks me hopefully.

"Yes. I can't do this on my own." I reluctantly tell him. I don't want them near the demon but I can't do it alone and Sam has just as much right to kill it as I do.

"Hell yea I'm ready. I want that fucker dead." Sam replies.

"Come on Dean. Let's talk." I say casually pointing back outside. Every time I get back into the house I have to leave again. Dean gives Lara a leery glance and she practically kicks him off the couch and he follows me outside. We walk to the impala and stop.

I don't bother waiting for him to talk. If we do I'll be there all night. "I'm sorry Dean. I really am." There isn't much left to say.

Dean looks at me. I've never seen that much disappointment in his eyes. Not even after the numerous times I left him in a hotel for weeks at a time or fought with Sammy. "How could you dad?" I take in a deep breath and try to organize my thoughts. I have never had to defend myself to my oldest son before. He has always just accepted what I have done.

"Dean when I saw Luther give her his blood my heart stopped. I knew, or I should say I thought I knew, that she would be turned. What I knew for sure that I still don't doubt is that it would have killed you to have to kill her. She was supposed to wake up a blood thirsty vampire and you never would have been able to put her down. I would have had to watch her take you and Sammy out and that was something I couldn't do. We discussed this a few weeks ago when we talked about our family being out biggest weakness. Lara is yours Dean just like your mom would have been mine if she was still alive. You will never be able to rationally hunt with her because you will always be worried about her. I saw it that day in the barn when that girl woke up screaming. You ran to Lara, grabbed her hand, and got her the fuck out of there."

Just like a Winchester I see Dean battling with himself over this revelation. "So you're saying I need to drive out of here and leave her here like you left Sam and me?" Ouch, I can take that one.

"No Dean, that is not what I am saying. What I am saying is that you are in love with that girl and you need…"

"I am not in love with her dad. She is squirt. I have known her since she was in pigtails." Dean cuts me off nervously.

I can't help but smile at him. "Son she will always be your squirt but you have to admit that you are starting to feel differently for her. It is alright to fall in love despite what I may have told you in the past. I am trying to fix all this shit I fucked up for you and your brother and this is how I'm trying. Be smarter than me Dean. Don't let your weakness for her actually be a weakness. Let it be a strength and don't let anything happen to her." He looks up at me and I know he won't disagree with me but he won't agree yet. "Don't let anything happen to her or you'll end up like me." I quickly turn around and walk back inside leaving Dean to think.

The living room is almost vacant when I come back in. I can hear Bobby talking to Karen in their room off the living room. She must not be feeling well. Sam isn't in the room either he must have gone off to bed. Lara smiles at me when she comes in. "Why don't you take my room and I'll take the couch tonight. You could probably use a good night sleep on a good mattress."

"No Lara, I'll sleep in the den and put Dean out here. You head up to bed." Dean comes in I finish telling her to go up. She shakes her head no. "You boys never get a real bed. You two fight out who gets my bed and the den and I'll sleep on the couch. I don't mind honestly."

Dean starts to speak up but I shut him down. "Do you still get nightmares Lara?" I ask her. She shakes her head yes and looks over at Dean. I don't know what is up with her nightmares but whatever it is she must have finally confided in Dean about it. I look over at Dean. "Do you still end up waking her up every night?" He shakes his head yes.

"Ok then enough of who sleeps where when we all know by the end of the night Lara is going to have a nightmare, Dean you are going to wake her up, and then you both are going to end up in bed together. You guys take upstairs and I'll take the den." I don't wait for them to fight me. I just walk off to the den and shut the door. Let that help them on their way to admitting their feelings. When did I become all touchy feely? Who the fuck knows but those two need a swift kick in the ass.

A/N sorry for the delay I have had some unexpected family stuff come up. Everything is fine but I had some things to do and was out of communicato!

So what did you think of this chapter?


	29. Chapter 29

a/n so I am mixing up the time line a bit but it's because it works better for my story to mix it up so sorry about that if it bothers you!

Dean's POV

Dad is lucky that one of us didn't kill him. I know Bobby wanted too. I can't believe all Bobby did was hit him and let it be done with. I figured he would have at least shot his leg in a warning. He came back looking fine, well minus the red spot on his face that will bruise soon thanks to Bobby. I tried lunging at him but Lara stopped me. I thought she would want to hit him too but she seems to have forgiven him. I was trying to get her to let go of me so I could attack him but she kept a firm grip on me and made it so the only way to hurt my dad was to hurt her. When I stopped fighting she stood on her toes and whispered in my ear. "Dean it is fine. Stop fighting me on this. Let me talk to him." I don't know how she did it but she managed to calm me down.

They went outside for a bit on their own. I'm not sure what was said but they don't seem to have any problems between them. Her eyes were a little red like she may have been crying but she doesn't seem angry at my dad at all. While they were outside I managed to sit on the couch and focus on the TV instead of them out there. She sat next to me and demanded that, ""You will stop giving your dad those looks Dean Winchester! He did what he thought was right." I did what she said because she asked me too and because I knew Karen wasn't feeling well and needed to rest. I didn't want to cause any more problems for her.

Our conversation outside was borderline ludicrous. He thinks that after pretty much abandoning us for a year after years of neglect that he can just dole out advice? He never felt like having a fatherly talk before unless you count the talk on how to kill werewolves effectively or the top 10 pit falls when dealing with demons. Now he wants to have a heart to heart with me. I am not in the mood to be having some chick flick moment with him right now especially about Lara.

He thinks because he saw us for a few days while we were hunting those vamps that he has a clue about what I think and what I feel well he is wrong. Yeah so what if I am starting to be physically attracted to Lara? I would never act on it. She's my squirt and I'm her best friend Dean. I would never risk that on some lust not with Lara.

Then he comes back in and pulls this shit. Why don't you just go upstairs and sleep with Lara? Yeah dad real cute. Too bad I can see right through your bullshit. Who does he think he is? Some kind of fucked up matchmaker.

Lara comes back in from the bathroom and she's ready for bed. Great of course she has to be wearing her own pajamas instead of one of my old shirts and boxers, not that those aren't sexy either, but her hot pink spaghetti strap night dress is just dangerous for me. "Bathroom is all yours." She tells me with a smile.

I need a few minutes by myself so I head out and brush my teeth. I may have taken a little too long but I needed some time. Come on Dean, this is no different than every night the last week at the hotel. You're just sharing a bed. Only your dad has to go and make an ass out of himself by putting ideas in my head. Fuck! I grip the sides of the sink and shake off the ridiculous feeling taking over me.

For just a moment on the walk back and I think about going downstairs to the couch but I stop myself. If I do that she'll know something is up and will come down to check on my for sure. I open the door and she's plugging our phones in on her side of the bed and her night gown is creeping up the back of her thighs and the bottom of her perfect ass is just barely showing through the thin material. Her side is the only side with an electrical outlet.

I pull the covers back and get into the bed. Lara fiddles with some things then gets under the covers herself. She turns off the light and I hope she will just let us go to sleep. "You and your dad alright now?"

"Yea we're fine. We just needed to get some stuff off our chests. You doing alright?" Lara chuckles and rolls over to look at me. I can see her through the moonlight shinning through the window. "I am not mad at him Dean. I actually thanked him."

I sit straight up and reach across her and turn on the lamp. "You thanked him? Are you fucking crazy?" I hiss at her hoping I don't wake Sam up.

Lara sits up and smiles at me trying to calm me down. "Dean, you and Sam weren't going to put me down. If I came back a blood thirsty vamp the only person who was going to keep me from killing everyone I care about was your dad. So yea I thanked him for being brave enough to keep me from turning into one of those things."

"And if he would have killed you he would have killed the actual you! You didn't turn Lara!" How can she be so calm about this and how can she thank him?

"It's not an issue anymore. He didn't kill me and I didn't turn. So can we just get some sleep?" When she rolls over to turn off the light again I see a sparkle in her ears. I extend my hand and brush my hand over the blue stone in her ears. "Where did you get those?" Did one of those idiot boys give her jewelry now? I am going to have to up my game. Hold on a second? I am going to have to what? I don't care of is she wearing jewelry from another guy she's squirt. Fuck I do care! I want her to be wearing my jewelry like the necklace she hasn't taken off or the bracelet I just gave her that is still on her wrist as well.

"Your dad gave them to me. He told me that they were your mothers." She explains to me with a smile. Both her hands fluttering up to her ears to touch them. "He said that he had given Sam your mom's necklace, you your mom's wedding rings, and he wanted me to have something of hers." I don't know what to say. I can't believe dad would give something of mom's away. "Are you mad? If you want them you can have them? I guess you might want to give them to some lucky lady some day." Lara says with hurt in her voice raising her hands to take them out.

I stop her hands. "No Lara. You should keep them. They look good on you. It just surprised me that's all." Lara smiles at me and turns off the light. I must have been more tired than I thought because within moments I am asleep.

Tonight is not a good night. Lara keeps having nightmares. Every hour or so she starts to moan or shout out in her sleep and I have to nudge her awake. She hasn't gotten to a point where she is full out screaming or ripping the sheets but I can tell it's not going good for her.

Ring Ring Ring

I roll over and cover my head with the pillow.

Ring Ring Ring

"Lara get the phone it's on your side." I mumble into the bed. Who the fuck would be calling at this hour? I don't know if it's my phone or hers but I swear to god if it's one of those boys trying to booty call her in the middle of the night I am going to fucking kill them.

Lara flails around on the night side table for a few moments and her hand finally makes contact with the ringing phone. She flips it open and holds it to her ear. "Hello?" Her voice croaks. It's obvious she was woken up. I can't hear the person on the other line but I can hear Lara. "Yeah just let me get him." Lara rolls over and hands me the phone. "Dean wake up, the phone is for you." I don't really feel like talking right now I'm fucking exhausted but Lara won't relent. "Dean come on get up. It's your phone not mine."

I reluctantly roll over and grab the phone. Lara's eyes are slightly glazed over and she wants to go back to sleep. I put the phone up to my ear. "Dean here." I state angrily. Whoever called this late couldn't wait a few more hours? I mean hell it's 3 am.

"Dean?"

That's a voice I never thought I would hear again. "Cassie?" I reply shocked that she is on the phone with me.

"I'm sorry to be calling so late. Am I interrupting something?" She sounds nervous. I look over at Lara and her head is already back down on her pillow and her eyes are shut. "No we were just asleep."

"We?" Who does she think she is asking me who we is? "Yeah we, my fiancé and me." What the fuck did I just say? Lara's eyes pop open and she gives me a confused and utterly surprised glance. I wave at her that I will explain in a minute.

"Oh, I'm sorry to be calling, umm can we talk about something."

"Cassie what do you need it's 3 o' fucking clock. I doubt you called just to talk." I am losing my patience here.

"Dean it's about what you said you do…." I see now why she is nervous. She thought I was bat shit crazy when I told her. "It's ok to talk, she knows what I do." I reply assuming she doesn't think I will talk in front of my "fiancé" about my work. Again what the fuck was I thinking?

"My dad was killed and I think it's something like what you said you do. I am so sorry I didn't believe you but I need help. It has already killed one other person and it seems like the mayor is trying to cover it up but I know something is wrong. Please Dean, I know we didn't leave on the best of circumstances but I need your help." She is practically begging me. That isn't the Cassie I remember.

"Ok, I'll be there in a few hours. Just hang tight." I hang up the phone and reach across Lara to turn the light back on. "Fiancé?" Lara asks me utterly confused.

Shit, how do I explain myself out of this hole? "So awhile ago I hooked up with this girl for a few weeks." Lara gives me a pissed off glare. "OK so not hooked up as much as dated." Now she is giving me an utterly shocked stare. "I know it's not my style but I meet up with her after a hunt and we kind of hit it off. Well I told her what I, what we, do and she freaked. She didn't believe me and broke it off. So when I heard her voice on the phone I just wanted her to know that I had totally moved on and was doing way better without her I guess."

Lara does the unexpected and starts to laugh hysterically. I give her a questioning look and she gets out of bed still laughing. "What's so funny?"

"Well Dean if I don't laugh I just might hit you." She says opening her drawers and packing a bag. "What do you mean you might hit me?"

She whips around and gives me an incredulous look. "You told this girl the truth after a few weeks of dating and it takes you 10 years and a life or death situation for you to tell me the truth. Sorry if I am a bit pissed off right now."

"So you're laughing because?" I shouldn't have prodded her. Her eyes flash anger at me. "I am laughing because the Dean Winchester I know normally couldn't give a fuck about what some girl thinks so it's cracking me up that you want her to think you're engaged and on your way to a happy life."

Ok seems reasonable. I normally don't care what women think. So why do I care what Cassie thinks? I guess because she is the first girl to ever get under my skin. "I don't like her or anything I just want her to think I won the break up! She was a total bitch to me when she broke it off so I want her to think my life is way better without her! So what are you doing?"

"I am packing and so should you. You said we would be there soon." She never turns around just keeps pulling out clothes and shoving them in her bag.

"We?" I ask confused.

Lara looks back at me finally and laughs. "Yes we dufus. Your fiancé and you need to go save your exes life so get a move on it. Tell your dad we'll meet up with them afterwards to dispose of the demon. Oh and give Sam the colt. They'll need it if they run into it."

"You'll come with me?"

"Or course I am coming. Do you think I would let you go after something that has already killed two people on your own? Sammy is going with your dad regardless of how much you beg and you know that. And besides it wouldn't be proper for me to let my soon to be husband run off to hook up with an ex. Now get a move on it!" She never ceases to amaze me.

I slip into Sam's room and wake him up gently and tell him where I am going and give him the colt. He's too tired to ask to many questions and rolls back over and goes back to sleep. I run downstairs and sneak into the den to grab my bag. Dad stirs just a bit and jumps up. "Dean?" He asks me confused.

"Go back to sleep dad. I had a friend call with an emergency. Lara and I are going to take care of it and I'll meet back up with you and Sam when it's done." Dad must be too exhausted because he doesn't fight me. He just shrugs his shoulders and lies back down.

By the time I got my things Lara is dressed and in the living room. She has on a tight back tank top, a pair of tight jeans with boots, and my green jacket on. "Stealing my clothes are you?" I ask with a laugh.

She glares at me. "No dumbass. If you want this girl to believe you are happily taken off the market we might as well look the part so I temporarily borrowed one of your iconic pieces. Now get a move on it."

It's still dark when we hit the road. I know we can make it there by noon. Lara has fallen asleep in the passenger seat. She kicked off her boots and is curled up into a ball. Every 30 minutes or so I have to nudge her a bit. I don't know where she is in her dreams but they are really bad tonight.

Right has the sun is coming up Lara starts screaming and shaking. She falls to the floor of the impala and starts to pound into the seats. Her eyes are closed but every other part of her body is animated. I quickly pull over on the side of the highway and jump out of the car. I run around to her side and pull her out of the car. Her jaw is clenched shut with sounds coming through her clenched teeth and her hands are balled up in tight balls. There is actually blood coming out of her hands from her nails cutting into her hands. Tears are pouring out of her closed eyes and an earth shattering scream just came out of her mouth. "Lara! Please wake up! Lara!" I shout trying to shake her out of her dream. "Lara come on baby! I'm here it's safe. No one is ever going to hurt you. Come on baby wake up."

It takes her awhile but she slowly wakes up. The screaming subsides and the tears continue pouring down her eyes. This is one of the worst episodes she's had in quite a while. Her eyes creep open and she makes eye contact with me. Her blue eyes have never looked so scared before. "Dean?" She asks me so quietly that if I haven't seen her lips move I may not have heard her.

"Yea Squirt it's me." I reply trying to calm her down. I have her incased in my arms and I'm rubbing circles into her back. She grabs fistfuls of my tshirt and buries her head in my chest and begins to sob. Her body is wracked with pain has she cries into me. I look down and my grey tshirt is smeared with the blood from her hands. "It's alright I'm here baby." I whisper to her trying to calm her down. After the sobbing starts to subside I shift a little so her face is facing me. "What did you see Lara?"

Lara's eyes grow large then she squeezes them shut trying to forget what she saw. She shakes her head no. "Please, I need to write it down first. Then we can talk." I don't let go of her and stand up cradling her in my arms. I never realized how perfectly she fits in them. I walk to the car with her in my arms and dig through her bag until I come up with the new dream journal I got her. The tranquil moon was easy to find amongst her clothing. I sit back down and put the journal and a pen in her hands. Her hands are shaking has she writes but she slowly gets all the words down. I don't read what she writing. She will tell me when its time. She is so shaken up she doesn't notice the blood on her hands dripping on the paper or smeared all over the pen. I don't know how long we have been sitting by the side of the road but she finally shuts her journal and buries her head back in my chest. After a few minutes she pulls away and looks at my tshirt. "Oh my god Dean you're hurt!" She screams trying to take off my tshirt.

I grab her wrists with my hands. "Lara the blood isn't mine. It's yours." Her eyes grow large with fear and she starts to look over herself. I gently pull her hands open and show her the cuts on her palms. "Your nails bit into your skin."

"I did this?" She sobs out. I shake my head yes and stand up taking her with me. I place her softly back down on the passenger seat and I run to the trunk to pull out the first aid kit. I am back with her in less than a minute. I pull out the antiseptic wash and run it over her hands. She doesn't flinch, she just stares at her hands in shock. Once I get the clean I put a gauze bandage in her palm and wrap gauze around them.

"Are you ready to tell me what happened?" She looks at me and shakes her head yes. She pulls her legs back in the car and I run to my side and get in. She doesn't say anything for a few minutes then she rolls her head over laboriously to look at me. "It's was horrible Dean. It was like the dreams I had with that demon that killed your mom. It was just so real. Sometimes I am lucky and they feel like a dream and sometimes I can't disassociate myself with what is happening. I looked down and I saw my body. It looks so much like me but it moved differently. The movements were more seductive and fluid. It screamed sex." Lara stops and looks out the window. I can't imagine her body being any more seductive.

"I was in a big city. I couldn't recognize it though because it started in a club but it has to be the west coast because of the timing. I was looking for a specific kind of mark. I knew what I craved what I needed. I finally found him and I was like a pit bull with one goal in mind. Get this man to take you home. I don't know how the demon knew he had a child but the demon knew. We danced and flirted with him all night. We even gave him a blow job in the bathroom stall to get him to bring us home." Why does she see these things? "He liked me enough to bring me to his home. I knew his child was important but I couldn't figure out why. The demon was able to close its mind of to me." Tears start to silently pour down her cheeks.

Lara's bandaged hand reaches across the seat and finds mine. She squeezes tightly. "We hooked up again in the cab in the way to his apartment. When we get there he pays the babysitter and tells me I need to be quiet until we get to his room. We fuck like wild animals for awhile. I didn't like it. It was too rough. I know that if I went to the hospital after a bout like that it would like I was raped." Her mind is disjointed but I allow her to take her time. She pauses and looks out the window for a moment. "Once he goes to sleep I get to work. I use my demon strength to get him up and tie him to a chair. I sneak into his child room. It's a little girl's room. She is maybe 2 years old. Just a toddler and she is beautiful. She has dark blonde hair and rosy cheeks. She's wearing a pink one piece footed pajamas. She is perfect." She refuses to look at me and she slowly drops my hand and pulls her knees closer to her chest and rests her forehead on her knees. "I grab her by her hair and drag her out of bed. She starts to scream. She's scared and wants her daddy. She doesn't understand why someone is hurting her. I carry her into her dad's room and he finally wakes up. He is confused at first then he seems to recognize me. What are you doing? He asks me. I just laugh. I have an altar set up in his room." She stops and stares out the window.

It's been 15 minutes since she last spoke. Lara is just sitting there silently crying. Her back is shaking. I move over to her side and pull her back into my arms. "I slit her throat has an offering. I lift her body above me and bathe in her blood. I throw her corpse down like a doll." She starts hysterically crying in my lap. "I kill the dad finally. But not before he sees his beautiful daughter dead." Lara continues to sob but she finally cries herself to sleep.

I start driving again. I am going to try to find us a hotel and get her into bed for a bit. She needs to rest and then shower. I know how she is after one of these dreams. She needs a hot scolding shower. The next highway exit promises a motel 6. That's all I need. I get off and reluctantly get out of the car to go into the lobby. I pay quickly and run back to the car and drive to our room. We'll leave once she's alright because we need to get to Cassie but Lara needs this right now. I carry her into the room and pull the covers back and put her in the bed. I crawl in next to her and cradle her body into mine.

Lara wakes up about an hour later. "Dean?" She asks frantically. I squeeze her from behind and she relaxes. "Do I disgust you?"

I jump up and roll her over. "How can you ask me that?"

"The things I see in my sleep Dean…" She doesn't finish her thought. I know what she is trying to say. I should hate her for what she sees. I lift her into my arms. "Squirt you could never disgust me. Why don't you take a shower and we'll hit the road again."

She slowly gets out of bed dropping layers has she goes. By the time she's at the bathroom door she's just in her bra and panties. "LARA STOP!" I shout out. I jump out of the bed and run to her body. I trace the outline of scratch marks on her back. "What are these?"

Lara walks backwards to the mirror and sees scratch marks trailing down her back. She looks at me frantically. "I have no idea!" She screams on the verge of another panic attack. I trap her in my arms trying to keep her from falling over and hurting herself. "Is it possible your dream was so real your body has some of the marks from it?" This sounds crazy but it's the only thing I can assume.

"I don't know Dean." I finally let go of her and she walks into the bathroom. After a few minutes she starts to scream. I barrel into the door and find her next to the shower screaming. She thrusts her bloody panties at me. "Dean my period was last week! What is this?" I have never heard her so scared before.

Despite the fact she is naked and I should be avoiding her naked body at all costs I grab her and pull her into the shower. I am fully clothed but I know she needs the hot water right now. She continues to sob in my arms and after a few minutes the hot water does it's work and she starts to calm down. By the time the water is turning cold Lara is nothing but a rag doll in my arms. I turn the water off and wrap a towel around her. I get us out of the shower and dry her off. She doesn't move or react to me. I pick her up and carry her back to the bed and cover her with the covers still wrapped in the towel.

I am soaked to the bone and I run out of the room to the car. I grab our bags quickly and run back to the room. When I get back she is muttering. "Uncle Gabe? Uncle Cas?" Like some kind of chant. I kick off my wet boots and socks and take off my jeans and tshirt and run to her side of the bed. "Lara?" I ask moving the wet hair from her face. She finally looks at me and her eyes slowly fixate on me. "Dean?"

"Yea Lara it's me."

She doesn't say anything else and her eyes slowly shut. Her breathing starts to even out and I know she is asleep. I put on warm clothes and text Cassie that we are going to be late. I sit down in the chair across from the bed so I can keep an eye on her. After another 2 hours Lara starts to move. She sits up in the bed and looks around confused. "What happened?" She asks me.

I stand up and move to the bed and sit down next to her. "Lara you had a really bad dream. Then we came here and found some of the physical trauma from the dream on your body. You are safe now." I don't want her to freak out again. I don't know if I can handle it.

Lara looks past me and focuses on something behind me. I turn around and I don't see anything. After a few minutes she places her hands on my shoulder. "Thank you for taking care of me Dean." She says softly.

I lean over and kiss her forehead. "I will always take care of you Lara. Now let's get dressed and head out of here."

a/n so what do you think?


	30. Chapter 30

a/n thank you everyone who reviewed last chapter. It makes my day when I see a new review. Sorry I didn't get a chance to send you all pm but I have to post this quick before I head to work! have a great weekend y'all!

Btw I am assume y'all know this episode as well so I don't feel like retelling the hunt part of it so I'm kinda just gonna gloss over that part and get into the meat of the story. Sorry if that's annoying I just don't feel like rewriting what we all already know.

Lara's POV

I quickly grab my clothes from my bag and clutch my towel around me tighter and run to the bathroom. "Uncle Gabe? Uncle Cas?" I whisper hoping Dean doesn't hear. I could sense them in the room when I woke up. There is a flutter of wings and I know they are here. They appear almost instantly. I fall in Uncle Cas' outstretched arms and Uncle Gabe walks out of the bathroom for a minute. I continue to sob into Uncle Cas' chest assuming that Uncle Gabe is just putting Dean to sleep.

He comes back quickly and pats my back while I cry. "What happened sweetheart?" Uncle Gabe asks me. I can tell he is nervous about my response. I grab my clothes and slip on my panties under my towel. I turn around and expose my back before dropping the towel.

"The dream world… it was so bad… my body…I don't understand." I can't form a coherent sentence yet. I'm must to shaken up. "My vagina…it's like… rape." I can't say it. I don't know what is going on.

Both the angels behind me gasp loudly and I feel a tickle of one of their hands on my back. I wrap the towel around my body again and I turn around. Uncle Cas points to the bite mark above my chest. "What is that from?" He asks me horrified.

I clutch the towel closer to my body. "Vampire." Is all I need to say. Uncle Cas frowns and puts his hand to my forehead. I feel my body healing and when he's done I look down and the bite marks are gone. I know if I turn around and look in the mirror the scratches would be gone too. "How is this possible?" I croak out.

Uncle Gabe pulls me into his arms and I lay there content in the safety my Uncle's provide. "Honey I think that it is possible that the dream felt so real to you that your body manifested physical parts of it believing it actually happened. Has this ever happened before?"I shake my head no refusing to leave the warmth of my uncle's embrace. "Did your last dream feel different?"

"Yes it felt more real. Everything seemed like it was happening to me instead of happening to a version of me." I can't explain it but it did. It felt like I was actually there and not lying in a bed sound asleep.

"We had hoped that you would grow out of these dreams but it's obvious that is not going to happen and in fact they are getting worse. We are going to try and figure this out but honey I want you to sleep with Dean until we get back to you." I start to protest but Uncle Gabe cuts me off. "If you have another episode I don't know what could happen to you. What if you got killed in a dream honey? I want you to keep Dean with you so he can keep an eye on you." He is steadfast in that order.

"I can't Uncle Gabe… I… it hurts to…" I am still shaky. Uncle Cas puts his hand on my shoulder and I turn my head to look at him. "We know how you feel about him darling. Now get dressed and just please make sure to sleep with him until we have this resolved." I can't tell them no. They have never led me astray before.

"I am going to wake Dean up now. So I need you to get dressed and head out there. We love you very much honey. If you need us please just pray and we will there in a moment." Uncle Gabe reassures me. They both give me a kiss on the forehead and they are gone. I put my bra on and shimmy into my tight blue jeans and pull on my black tank top. I throw Dean's green jacket back on and pull it tight to my body. I inhale his scent and relax into it. I can do this. I say to myself in the mirror.

I leave the bathroom and Dean is pacing the room like the angels had never come and interrupted our life for a few minutes. He whips around and looks me up and down. "You alright?" He asks covering the space between us quickly and putting an arm around me. He leads me to the bed and hands me a clean pair of socks. I put them on and then my boots. I shake my head yes slowly. "I thiinnnkkk so." I say shakily. He puts his arm back around my shoulder and squeezes.

"Do you want me to take you back home? You don't have to go on this hunt with me." I look at him and shake my head no. "I can do this."

We head back to the car and pile in. I relax into the seat. I feel more comfortable in this car than I do in most homes. Dean turns his music on just loud enough to soothe me but not so loud the car is pulsating with it. I move my hand across the seat and grab his and squeeze it. "Thank you again." I say weakly. He squeezes my hand back and we drive in comfortable silence the rest of the way to Cassie's house.

When we pull up to the house I breathe in a much needed breath. There is a 1000 ways this could go wrong. I move to get out of the car but Dean grabs my hand before I can open the car door and starts to dig through the glove compartment. He must find what he is looking for because he brings his hand back out with a small box. He opens it and pulls something small out of it. He grabs my left hand and slips a ring on to my ring finger. "If we are going to keep up this charade we might as well do it right." He says with a nervous smirk.

I look down at the small tear shaped diamond my finger. It fits perfectly and I know it's his mom's ring. I look up at him in shock. "Are you sure about this Dean? It's your mom's."

He smiles at me and gets out of the car. I guess that's as much of an answer as I am going to get. He comes around and puts his arm around my shoulder and leads me to the door. We get to the front door and Dean's arm tenses on my shoulder. He quickly moves forward and rings the door bell.

After just a moment a panicked woman opens the door and throws herself on to Dean. He stumbles back and lets go of my shoulder. "Oh thank god you are here! Another one died late last night into this morning!"

This must be Cassie. She remembers herself and stands back and smoothes her shirt down and gives me a sheepish smile. "Sorry I am just really relieved you both made it."

I know this woman just lost her dad. I reach my hand out and grab her hand. "It's ok we are going to figure this out." I try to reassure her. I could tell her it is all going to be alright but I know it won't be. She just lost her dad. That is not something you get over easily. I know that and Dean knows that. We don't give her false sympathy because we both know we didn't want to hear it when it happened to us. Losing a parent isn't an open invitation to stupid comments about how the world works.

Dean finally starts to speak. "Cassie this is Lara. She is my hunting partner and the woman you spoke to on the phone this morning." He says hoping that will explain everything.

Cassie scrunches her face up like she is thinking. Whatever she is thinking so hard on doesn't seem to dawn on her and she opens the door for us to come in. We follow her into the living room and she ushers us to the couch. "So you hunt too?" She asks me.

I shake my head yes. "Aren't you a bit young?" I smirk and shake my head. "I may look young and I'm a woman but I can kick some major ass."

Dean brings the conversation back to where it should be and soon we have discusses everything we need to know about that case that Cassie can give us. We are all seated around a small kitchen table and every so often Dean will just lean in and brush my hand or put his arm around my shoulders. I love how it feels. I just hate that it's an act. Dean stands up and puts his hand down for me to grab and I stand up. "We are going to go get settled into a hotel and we'll be back in a bit to set up a plan of attack." He states.

"No please, you guys can stay here. I called you and made you come the least I could do is give you a place to stay." She insists. I am bit nervous about this plan but its free and probably more comfortable than whatever seedy motel we would find. Dean shakes his head and runs out the car to grab our bags. After a few moments of awkward silence Cassie looks at me with a fake smile plastered to her face. "So how did you and Dean meet?" She asks me.

Shit I was so fucked up in the car we never discusses such things to get our story straight. Right at the moment before I had to come up with some crazy story Dean opens the door and comes through with our bags. "So where should we head?" He asks inconspicuously. Cassie leads us up to the stairs and ushers us to a spare bedroom.

"I'll give you guys a minute." Cassie tells us turning and leaving. I look at Dean who is dropping his bag on the ground. "So she wants to know how we meet." I tell him nervously.

Dean lets out a chuckle. "Let's just keep this simple and keep the truth. We've known each other since we were kids. Not like we'll see this girl after we leave here." Sounds reasonable to me. We drop our bags off and I take a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I look a bit rough but not enough to show what I have actually been through today. We head back downstairs and head out to investigate what is going on.

We spend the rest of the day running around town trying to get information on the killings. It's obvious two vehicles are involved in these accidents even if no one admit to it. Just like Cassie said it seems that the mayor is hiding something. We head back to the house and we collapse on the couch in exhaustion. I slept like shit last night and de facto that means Dean did too. "So what do you think this is?" Dean asks me staring at the ceiling.

I shrug my shoulders. "I want to say ghost but since when do ghosts drive cars." Dean laughs and shakes his head. "Well that lady in white could make my baby drive. Maybe it's something like that." Then he does something that really surprises me. He pushes me down on the couch and pulls my feet up into his lap. He takes off my boots and socks and starts to rub my feet.

"I don't think so. A lady in a white wouldn't just be targeting African American males. And she would be in the car with them not in a separate vehicle. Maybe it's an echo of an accident that just disrupts the cars driving on the road?" I say knowing it's wrong but I'm fishing here. He digs his knuckle into the ball of my feet and I can't suppress a slight moan that passes my lips before I throw my head back on the arm of the sofa and just relax.

Dean chuckles lightly then shakes his head no. "Again with why just African American males. That's not it. I don't think it's a demon either no sulfur."

Cassie lets out a loud sigh. "Listening to you too… is there anything that doesn't exist?" She asks us hoping we laugh and tell her that none of it is real. But instead Dean looks at her with a serious expression on his face. "It's all real. Every strange story you have ever heard its real."

I can see the fear creeping over her face but she does a good job covering it quickly. "And you guys choose to do this?" Cassie gets up and grabs some beers and hand them out. I start to sit up but Dean keeps a firm hold on my legs and just lets me sit up enough to drink but not enough to move my feet off his lap.

I give Dean and quick glance letting him know I don't feel like answering that question. Dean takes a deep swig of his beer and I follow suit. Then he looks up at Cassie. "Yeah, we couldn't imagine not doing it. We know this shit exists. We have to do it. If not us who would protect people from these monsters?"

"Is this how you guys meet? Doing this? Not the most romantic way to meet your fiancé." She chuckles out.

His eyes meet mine and he smiles. Dean pulls my legs down until my butt is sitting on his lap. He puts his arm around me and kisses me softly. I know this is fake, we are acting, but my lips are electrified. I have wanted him to kiss me so badly and now that he is I know it means nothing. I allow myself to get lost in it for a moment. I close my eyes and sink in to the kiss. There's no tongue but this is the hottest kiss I've ever had. I suck softly on his lower lip and he leans back into to take mine. Dean pulls back slowly, he slips his hand behind my neck and pulls my head up to kiss my forehead. "I've known Lara since I was 13 years old. It just took us some time to realize what we wanted."

Realization brightens her face and I can actually see a light bulb turning on. "Wait a minute. This is the Lara? Squirt?" Dean gives her a confused look and shakes her head. Cassie lets out a laugh and moves the hair from her face. "Wow I feel like I am meeting a celebrity." She chuckles out.

What the fuck Dean? I ask with my eyes. He shrugs his shoulders at me. Cassie looks at our interaction and laughs. "When we were dating he talked about you nonstop. He would take your phone calls even during a date if you called. I feel like I know you already. Hell anyone that has ever meet Dean probably feel like they know the famous Lara. Hell I knew more about you then I did about him!" Dean and I look at each other and he looks confused. "Isn't she a bit young though? I thought she was like a kid or something. I mean I was expecting a little girl in pigtails and instead there is a gorgeous woman sitting in front of me."

That gets a laugh out of me. "Well I was a kid but I'm all grown up now." The comment should have been threatening, but for some reason the way she said it wasn't. It's just a statement. "We started hunting together when I graduated over a year ago now." I respond hoping that clears that up.

Dean's eyes get large and he looks from Cassie to me and back. "We didn't get together until she was 18 Cassie. I wasn't hooking up with jail bait. We were hunting together and I guess our real feelings just came out." Dean reaches around me and nuzzles into my neck.

"I think I should have seen this coming even from back then." She says smiling to herself. Dean stands up and grabs my hand pulling me to my feet. "We should head to bed we have a long day ahead of us tomorrow."

We all mumble our good nights and Cassie leads us up stairs and points out the shared bathroom and where things are. I grab my pjs and some toiletries and head to the bathroom. I change quickly into one of Dean's long discarded band tshirts and an even older pair of his boxers he left at my house years ago. I stare at myself in the mirror and try to shake off the fear that is pulsing through me about going to sleep.

I grab the handle and turn it but stop when I hear talking outside the door. "So you two are really serious aren't you." Cassie states.

"Yeah, I mean we are engaged." Could he sound anymore sarcastic? I let out a quiet chuckle and wait for them to stop. I want to go our room but I don't know want them think I was standing here listening to them.

There's silence for a moment followed by a sound I know fairly well being on the road with Dean for over a year. They are kissing. There's a puckering sound followed by a slurp. That fucking bitch! She's kissing my fiancé! Ok so he's not actually my fiancé but she doesn't know that! Then there is thud. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Dean snarls out.

"I…sorrrry… I guess I've missed you?" She stutters out. I can't believe Dean pushed her away. That isn't the Dean I know. He told her no.

"You missed me? You're the one that told me to get lost. And now I show up to do you a huge fucking favor and you kiss me with my fiancé in the next room. You're unbelievable." He actually sounds pissed! I cough loudly and open the door and enter the hallway.

"If you need anything my room is right there." Cassie says pointing to her door. She then slips into her bedroom and shuts the door. She is slightly shaking and her face is flushed.

"The bathroom is all yours." I tell Dean with a grimace on my face and I head back to our room. I look at my phone and I have a quick message from Sammy just telling me that he and his dad are safe. I also have a text message from Jo asking me if I could convince the Winchester's to make a pit stop at the Roadhouse because she needs to get a hit of her Sam fix. I chuckle and respond to her that I will try.

Dean comes back into the room all ready for bed. He is wearing just his undershirt and a pair of loose light weight sweatpants that hang off his perfect hips. "You alright?" He is obviously worried about me trying to sleep.

I shake my head slowly. "I think so. Just please don't leave." Dean jumps into the bed and pulls me into a hug. "I wouldn't dream of it. Now try and rest. If you need anything you know where I am." He gives me a wink and I lay down. Dean pulls me into his arms and I can feel the warmth of his chest going up and down my back. I close my eyes petrified of what I will see on the other side of my eyelids.

_The club is thumping. The noise from the bass is shaking my core. My entire body is vibrating. The same demon is wearing me so I know what it wants. It wants a dad and it wants to kill his child. I am helpless to stop it. I fight it every inch of the way but the demon pushes me back. For every push I shove at the demon it slams back into me until my consciousness is nothing but a tattered girl sitting in a cell. I can't win. _

_ The demon locks in, target acquired. I fight harder but it slams me back into the darkness. I've lost control and power over my own body, like I have since I can remember. I don't know how long I am out. I know it is a long time because by the time I come to again the room isn't pulsating. I come to by the sound of moaning and my body is writhing beneath this man's body. He is pounding into us but it's not as painful as it often is. He finished and collapses on me. He doesn't do the gentlemanly thing and roll of me. He just lets his weight lay on me. That is how most of these men treat me, like a piece of meat, like a whore they paid for. Actually I don't even know where I get the idea they should roll off of me and pull me to their chest. That's not what happens after a bout of fucking. _

_ I lay in wait until the man is asleep. The demon wants the baby. It can sense the baby like a missile locks on to a plane. It wants that baby and I can't let it hurt the child. I throw my entire self at the demon. "LEAVE THE CHILD!" I scream and bombard the creature. I can't handle another death on my hands. I'm losing but I'm stopping the demon. I can't hit it any harder but I keep throwing myself at the demon. _

_ The demon unleashes it's power on me and I get thrown back into my own mind. "Back off six! That bitch in that crib is mine!" I get control for just a moment. The smell and the sounds of the baby gives me power. I manage to slam my body into a corner of the changing table just hoping to hurt myself. I keep slamming into it trying to disable my body or make the father wake up at least. The demon and I are in an all out war for my body. I slam it into walls and doors while it tries to fight me for control. "What the fuck are you doing?" A man yells at me pulling a gun up. _

_ "SHOOT ME!" I scream out!_

"Wake up!" I hear through my dream. There is a pair of hands shaking my shoulders into the bed. "WAKE UP LARA!" Dean screams out. My eyes flicker open and I look around. "Dean?" I sob out.

He grabs my body and pulls me into a tight hug. I feel his hands rubbing over my back trying to calm me. "It's alright. You're awake. It's done."

The door to the room flings open and I jump back into the headboard slamming by body as far from the intruder as possible. "What is going on? Is everyone ok?" Cassie asks out of the breath.

"It's nothing. Just a nightmare." Dean assures Cassie but never takes his gaze off me. "Can I get you guys anything?"

Dean flaps his hand to get rid of her. "Maybe just bring us some water but I got this." I can tell by his body language that he just wants her to get out of the room. That's what I want too. I don't need her watch me break apart. I just need Dean to make me feel safe and I will be fine.

After a few minutes Cassie comes back up stairs and hands Dean a glass of water. She gives me a genuinely concerned look. "You alright Lara?" I can't hold the glass of water and Dean holds it to my lips so I can take a sip. I drink slowly and lean back against the headboard hardly able to keep myself together. "I am fine." I stumble out.

Cassie gives Dean a really nasty look. "If this is what hunting is going to do to her don't you think you should get her out of it?" She hisses at him. Dean's eyes bug out of his face. "What the fuck are you talking about?" He yells.

"Obviously this life is too much for her. How often does this happen? If you love her you need to get her out of this life!"

I put my hand up trying to keep them from fighting. "It's not this life Cassie. I don't want to talk about it but me hunting or not hunting would not change my nightmares. Thank you for your concern but it's not warranted." Cassie storms out of the room and I lean back against the headboard once again. "Well that was fun."

Dean pulls me into his side and kisses my temple. "You need a shower? I know that hot water helps." I shake my head no. I move to slide down the bed but I let out a wince. I lift my shirt up and sure enough there is a large bruise above my right hip. Dean's fingers dance over it. "I was trying to keep the demon from killing the baby. I guess I'll never know if I was successful."

Maybe it's that we have been playing a couple all day, maybe he actually wanted to do it, I'm not sure why but Dean leans down and kisses the bruise forming on my hip. I run my fingers through his hair and I close my eyes and relax on my pillow as he continues to lay kisses on my hip. I let out a content sigh and at that moment I must have brought Dean back to his senses. He sits up quickly and refuses to look me in the eyes. "Sorry I guess I got a little carried about from our show earlier."

My eyes are brimming with tears. Why can't you like me that?! "It's alright. It felt good against the bruise. What do you think is going on with my body?"

Dean plops down on the pillow next to me and moves the hair from my face and our eyes meet. "I think it what I said. The dreams are feeling too real and your body thinks it's actually happening. The mind is a confusing place. I think you should be waking up every 2 hours from now on just in case. I am going to set an alarm on my phone to go off. I don't want you getting any more injured."

"That seems reasonable." I yawn out. Dean fiddles with his phone and moves my body to be closer to his and I fall asleep. Luckily my dreams are pitch black. There is nothing there. I can sense my mind but I'm not seeing anything.

The next day is rough. It hurts my side to move too much and Dean is constantly hovering over me like I could break at any moment. I guess that is a legitimate worry now. Who knows when my dreams could take over.

This hunt will not go down as one of my favorites. I had to deal with Dean's ex girlfriend. I guess I never thought he would actually have a real girl friend. Then we had to drag a huge fucking truck out a lake. It was a rusted piece of shit. Oh then I had to drive the impala like some kind of stunt car driver while Dean tried to figure a way out to salt and burn the thoroughly soaked truck. Luckily I am a genius and remembered that not too far from where the truck attacked us was the remnants of the church that the bastard Cyrus burned down. By the time I pick Dean back up at the lake all I want to do is get back to Cassie's take a shower and go to bed.

We get back to Cassie's and she's relieved to see us. Oh and once again she launches herself on him like some kind of bitch of heat. Yea this enjoyable. She lets go of him and gives me a hug too thanking me for helping her. I don't really want to hear it. I know what she wants. She wants Dean. I don't have any real claim over him though.

The stairs seem to go on forever. I take them one at a time and get to the spare room. Dean follows me into the room. "You going to take a shower squirt?" He asks me pulling out his own pjs.

"Yeah I am." I spit out. I dig through my duffel bag and pull out a clean pair of pajamas. It's one of my few pair that is just mine and not hand me down. Actually Jess had bought it for me. It's a dark blue silk night gown that goes down to my knees. It's not overly sexual but it's not totally prudish either. The cool silk is going to feel great on my skin. The bruises are dark purple and my body just aches.

"What's wrong?" Dean asks me putting a hand on my shoulder. I wince slightly then I twirl around and I push him back. "If you want to hook with her I understand. You guys used to be a thing and now you are stuck here with me." I yell motioning down to his mom's ring on my finger. I wouldn't betray him not to her by yelling out that this is a farce but I can't keep my voice down and end up yelling at him. "So please feel free to fuck her!" I don't want for his response and I push past him into the bathroom.

I love how the hot water feels going over my sore muscles. After my worst dreams its one of the few ways to calm me back to reality. My body is so sore from two nights of traumatic dreams. I just want to sink into the bottom of the shower and fall asleep like this. I roll my shoulder and let out a wince again at the pain. My body is a god damned mess right now!

The water feels so good that I decide to stop the shower and plug the drain up and take a bath. I find some nice bubble bath under the sink and put a ton of it in the water. I really want to relax. I even manage to find a few candles in the bathroom to light. It's so much more relaxing to take a shower in candle light then in the harsh light of the vanity. I lean back and I sink into the tub. I feel all the tension of the day leave my body.

There's a knock on the door and I jerk forward. "What is it?" I yell out. The door opens and Dean pokes his head through. "You alright Squirt?"

I sigh and lean back into slight slope of the tub. "No I'm not. My body is in a lot of pain and I just need to relax for a bit. The last few nightmares have really jacked up my body. I'm so tense right now I think my muscles could snap like a rubber band breaking." I say with a smirk.

Dean always surprises me. I can never quite tell what he is thinking anymore. He grabs a wash cloth off the counter and comes to the side of the tub and knells down next to it. He puts his hand on my shoulder and moves me making me sit forward. I pull my knees to my chest and rest my head on my legs while he puts the wash cloth in the water and rubs it over my back. "Your back is really bruised. What happened?" He asks me quietly rubbing the warm water and soap into my back.

"I'm not sure. I think it has to do with the dream. I was fighting the demon so hard for control. I didn't want it to hurt the child. I think my body may have been flung around a bit." This feels so good I am actually wondering if this is some kind of hallucination. He's rubbing my shoulders and tracing the many bruises on my back and side with the tips of his fingers.

There's a sound of cap opening behind me but I don't care to move my body to see what is going on. I hear a squirt of something and then Dean's hands clap together. His fingers start to move through my hair. I lean back slightly giving him my access to my scalp but not fully exposing myself. I don't want to ruin the moment but I want to talk about it. "The demon wearing me was in a club again. We found our mark and I fought it so hard. I didn't want the man taking us home. The demon managed to knock me out."

Dean continues to rub the shampoo into my scalp then he stops reaching behind me. He doesn't say anything but puts his hand on my forehead and leans my hair back pouring a cup of water over my hair rinsing the shampoo out. "When I came to again the man was fucking me." I feel Dean's hand tense my forehead and he releases me. He reaches for something behind me that I assume is conditioner. Again he pours some in his palms and rubs it into my hair and scalp. "Once he collapsed on me the demon waited till he fell asleep. We went into the child's room. It was a baby. I could hear the baby's breathing in the room. It was so peaceful and perfect. I fought harder than I ever had before. I couldn't let the demon hurt another child. I fought it with every bit of power I had left. I slammed into corners, walls, and anything I could to make enough noise to wake the father up." Dean stops rubbing my scalp and leans my forehead back again washing the conditioner out. "I got free for a moment. The dad shows up in the room holding a gun and I tell him to shoot."

It's been a few minutes since Dean has said anything. He just continues to wash my hair our and pushes my head forward again to get back to my back. He moves the hair off my back so it's going down the front of my left shoulder."Did he shoot you?" He asks me softly. He sounds nervous. He starts to rub my shoulders and back again.

I shrug my shoulders. "I don't know. You woke me up before I could find out. When I went back to sleep it was just black. I guess anything could have happened."

Dean stands up and leans down and kisses the top of my head. "Take your time. I'm gonna get ready for bed." He turns around and leaves the bathroom. I lean back into the tub shocked at everything that had just happened. I don't want to read anything into it. I know he doesn't like me like that and we are acting right now. He must have wanted Cassie to think he was taking care of me.

I stand up and pull the drain to the tub. The water quickly goes down it and I step out wrapping a towel around my body. I work on brushing my hair and I braid it down my back so it won't tangle up during the night. I slip on my nightgown and go to the door. Before I can open the door I hear Cassie's steps on the stairs as the door to the guest room opens.

It's silent in the hallway for a moment I hear Cassie pad across the hallway to Dean. I don't know what happens for sure but it sounds like she kisses him again.

"She gave you the go ahead Dean. What's the problem?" I hear Cassie ask Dean. I don't know if she is trying to be loud enough for me to hear her of if she actually thinks she's being quiet. I don't hear Dean's response but I hear hers. "We could do a threesome? I know you've always wanted one of those. You did ask me like three times to do one with my college roommate and Lara is hot I think I could make an exception and hook with a girl just this once." I can actually see the seductive smile on her face as she asks that question.

"What the fuck did you just say?" I've heard Dean angry then I have heard him like this right now. If Cassie is smart she will turn around and go into her room. I have never heard Dean this pissed off before.

"I was just saying that you are hot, I am hot, and Lara is hot. So why don't we all get hot together?"

"Not happening." Dean growls through his teeth.

"We never would have worked out even if I did believe you would we have?" Cassie whispers.

"What do you mean?" Poor Dean sounds so confused.

Cassie lets out a quiet laugh. "It was always going to be her, it was always going to be Lara. All those girls you dated or I guess had one night stands with were just your way of waiting for Lara to grow up." Dean doesn't respond and I can imagine his gaping mouth trying to form a coherent sentence. I wish that was true. I would give a year of my life for that to be true.

I fling the door open. I shoot daggers at Cassie. She smirks at me. "See hot…" Cassie says pointing to me then herself. "To be honest I felt bad for you when he said he was engaged but I guess he's different than I remember." Cassie then proceeds to spin around and go into her room leaving Dean and I in the hallway.

Dean face turns bright red. "Sorry about all that. I'm not sure what she was thinking. A threesome really?" He laughs.

"Is a threesome something you really want Dean?" Would I really be willing to do that just to say I was with him just once? Dean's eyes turn dark and serious. He puts his hands on shoulders. "Lara that is not something I would ever even think to dishonor you with. You are not the kind of girl that a guy has a threesome with. You are the kind of girl that a guy spends the rest of his life worshipping and thanking his lucky stars he gets to spend whatever time he can with you."

I smile and let my forehead fall onto his chest. "That's the sweetest thing I think anyone has ever said to me." I feel my cheeks turning pink as well.

He tenses beneath my forehead but he raises his hand to my back. "Come on squirt. It's time for bed. We got a long drive ahead of us tomorrow."

We don't say anything as we do our well choreographed dance getting into bed. I sit up to turn off the lamp and when I lay back down Dean rolls over on to his other side facing away from me I don't get how just a few minutes ago he could tell me what he did and now he can't even face me. I try not to cry but I fall asleep with tears on my lashes.

a/n wow that is the longest chapter I have written to date on any story. So what do you think? Reviews are much appreciated and make me want to write more!


	31. Chapter 31

Dean's POV

What the fuck was I thinking last night? Seriously? I helped her take a bath? Am I fucking crazy? Jesus Winchester you need to get your shit together and keep away from her if you're not going to be able to control yourself. You went into the bathroom and bathed her. Yeah it may have started out innocent in your head but it definitely was not innocent by the end. If Bobby saw this he would have killed you! This is so far beyond fucked.

God she looked good. She was really hot. I didn't see anything really. She had enough bubbles that I couldn't see anything. I had a total chick flick moment washing her like that. I swear I must have grown boobs for a moment. I washed her hair! What the hell?! I have never in my life washed a girl's hair before in any situation. I couldn't see anything but that is probably for the best since our little performance has had me thinking of her more than usual. I just want to bury myself in her so deep that you can't tell where one of us begins and the other end. WHERE THE FUCK DID THAT COME FROM? Ok Dean calm down and stop thinking like that. You need to stop. She looks at you like her older brother and you're going in there and bathing her.

Then what fuck was I thinking about responding to her about the threesome thing. I told her, Lara that is not something I would ever even think to dishonor you with. You are not the kind of girl that a guy has a threesome with. You are the kind of girl that a guy spends the rest of his life worshipping and thanking his lucky stars he gets to spend whatever time he can with you. What the hell was I thinking? I was basically telling her that I want to be the guy worshipping her body. Great I bet that wont' come back to kick me in the ass.

Lara surprisingly slept fine all night. I still kept the two hour alarm on my phone but she was never on the verge of an attack. I am really beginning to worry about her. The nightmares on their own were nerve racking enough but what is happening to her body? How are these dreams making her body actually show visible damage? I'm worried about her and there is nothing I can do about it. Normally I could just go against the bad guy guns blazing and hope to hit my target but I don't even know who the bad guy is with her. I don't know what could be causing this and why. Once we finish up with the demon that killed my mom I am going to put all my efforts to trying to figure this out. I don't know how to but hell I usually come up with something.

I roll over and look at the clock its 7am. We need to get going. I sit up and I shake Lara awake. "Come on Lara we got to get going." She moans and puts her head under her pillow. I put my hand on her shoulder and shake her a bit more. "Lara I know it's early but we need to get going. Sam and dad are waiting on us. We need to get going." I remove the pillow from Lara's head and mess up her dark brown almost black hair that has slipped out of its braid over night. "Come on squirt. Meet me downstairs in 10 minutes. We gotta get going."

The house is quiet as I leave the room and head downstairs. I go into the kitchen and start fiddling with the coffee machine. If I can lore her awake with coffee I can bribe her with food down the road. I hear a set of feet on the stairs and I turn around to make sure Lara is awake. I'm surprised when I turn around and I see Cassie on the stairs. "We are headed out. We'll be out of your hair in a few minutes."

Cassie crosses the room to me and stops in front of me. "Thanks for everything you guys did. I don't even know how to thank you guys for what you did. Where you guys headed off too now?"

"We're heading to my dad and brother and we are going to work on another hunt. Thanks for the hospitality. It was nice to not stay in a hotel for once." Cassie closes the little distance still between us but stops right at my lips. "What are you doing Cassie? Haven't we been over this?" I ask her getting slightly frustrated.

She chuckles and takes a step back. "Just wanted to make sure, but it appears you are sure. It was nice knowing you Dean. You got lucky with that girl upstairs. Get her out of this life and be happy. This isn't a life to have with a wife. Good luck with everything. If someone had told me you were getting married I would have laughed my ass off, but seeing you with her I see that it could work." She turns around quickly and goes right up the stairs to her room.

A few minutes later Lara comes jumping down the stairs. She drops our bags next to the door and comes into the kitchen. "You better have a coffee cup for me!" Lara says has a joke running up to me taking the traveling mug from my hand drinking her coffee. "Perfect." She says with her eyes closed and smiling.

We head out and drive out to meet up with them. We drive in companionable silence. The music blaring and the windows rolled down. We drive about 12 hours before I give up and pull over. "We'll stay here tonight and head out tomorrow." I am exhausted.

"Sounds good. Give me the keys I am going to go head to the grocery store and I'll make us a real dinner tonight. These places tend to have at least some pots and pans." I hand her the keys and watch her leave out the parking lot while I go and get the room.

My phone starts to ring and I pick up. "Sam what's up?"

"Dean are you guys safe?"

"Yea of course we are. Lara just went off to the grocery store and I am getting our room."

"Dean I don't know how to tell you this but Caleb and Pastor Jim are dead. The demons are going after them trying to get the colt. You guys need to take every protection until we are all back together." Sam pleads into the phone. They are dead? I can't believe that. Before we had Bobby's place Pastor Jim's was home and Caleb was one of my favorite hunters.

"Don't worry we will be safe. I'll set up the precautions right now."

"Good, just be safe and get here tomorrow." Then Sam hangs up.

I go about the room laying salt and painting devils traps above all the doors and the windows. This should keep anything out or at least trap it till we can make our escape. I text Lara our room number and tell her to get back fast.

There's a knock on the door and I open it after checking the pep hole to make sure it's her. She comes breezing through with bags in her hands. "Hope you have a craving for steaks because I'm making those and homemade mashed potatoes. I lazed out and bought a store made pie though." She walks into the kitchenette but she stops and looks at me when I haven't said anything yet. "What's wrong?"

I take in a deep breath. "Sam called me while you were out. The demons are trying to get the colt and they have killed Pastor Jim and Caleb to get it from them. Sam wants us to be extra careful until we are all back together."

Lara stumbles backwards until she hits the counter. "They're dead?" She coughs out. She probably knew them. She knows all the hunters and they would all die for her. I walk across the small room and get to her quickly. I pull her into my arms and she cries into my chest. "I know get it out Squirt." I say trying to sooth her.

It takes a while but she calms down and starts cooking quietly. She needs to keep her hands busy to keep her mind busy. I sit down on the bed and I clean our weapons and make sure our guns are loaded. After about an hour I hear the clang of dishes and silverware. "Dinner is ready." Lara says quietly sitting down at her seat.

I take a few bites and I reach across and grab her hand. "You ok?" She shakes her head slowly. "This is really good. It tastes great." I say with a smile. She gives me a fake smile and goes back to eating her food.

It's still pretty early but we got up so early and it's time for bed. I know she is tired. "Let's head to bed." I tell her. She shakes her head and goes into the kitchen and cleans up the pots and pans. I come in behind her and put my arms around her and put my hands over her hands in the soapy water resting my chin on the top of her head. Her hands are shaking under mine. "It's alright Lara." I tell her. She leans back into my chest and starts to cry. "They were good people Dean, and I will miss them."

"I know squirt I know. It will be alright. We are going to find those demon bitches and kill them." She shakes her head and moves off my chest to start cleaning again. I kiss the back of her head and go into the bathroom to change and get ready for bed.

I climb into my bed and turn off the TV. "Dean?" Lara asks quietly from the end of the bed. She looks so sad standing there in my old tshirt and boxers. I look at her waiting for her to speak. "Can I sleep in bed with you tonight?" She says so quietly that I might have missed it if I wasn't listening.

"Sure thing squirt." I say pulling back the blankets on the other side of the bed for her to crawl in. She gets in and turns on her side so her back is to me. "How were your dreams last night?"

"They were black. Just black. Nothing happened. I hope tonight is like that. I need sleep." I reach up and turn off the lights.

I don't know how long we are asleep but there is a loud crashing sound that wakes us up. We both sit up and pull our guns out from under out pillow into our hands pointing it at the sound of the commotion. Lara reaches over and flicks on the light on her side. "Four?" Lara asks confused.

What the fuck is she talking about? I look up and it's Meg. That bitch found us. "Four it's me, six." I keep my eyes trained on Meg but look at Lara. "Lara that is Meg? Who is four? And what do you mean you're six?"

The demon looks uncomfortable. "How do you know about four? Your sure as hell aren't six I can garen-damn-tee you that. What are you playing at?" Lara looks at me then back at the demon and the haze that covers her eyes seems to clear up. "Dean that may be Meg but she is inhabiting Four. She lives in the body farm."

Meg fights harder against the trap. "What the fuck do you know about the body farm bitch!" She screams out. Lara flinches into me and I stand up slowly keeping the gun trained on her. "Lara grab your journal and get a exorcism ready." Meg starts to laugh.

"Do you think a little exorcism will stop my plan? I have a dozen demons outside waiting for my signal to come in here and tear you apart like I did to Caleb and your precious padre." I look at Lara and she is livid.

She holds her journal out in front of her and recites the exorcism coldly. Not even stopping when Meg threatens her. The demon leaves the body in a cloud of black smoke and the body hits the floor. Lara drops the journal and runs to her side cradling her head. "Four it's me. It's going to be alright."

The girl starts to cough up blood. "Thank you. She had been in me for so long I had forgotten who I was." She continues to cough and Lara just holds her to her chest. "You're not six though. Six is a man right now. How do you know about that place? No one has ever made it out."

"Hush now. We are going to get you some help." Lara tells her trying to keep the girl calm. I know that she isn't going to make it. I can sense death coming for her. It doesn't take long for the life to slip out of her body and for Lara to be sitting there holding a corpse. I wish I could allow her more time to mourn but we need to get out of her.

I grab her hand and lift her up. I have already changed while she was comforting the dying girl. "We got to get out here now." I say handing her duffel over. She shakes her head and kicks off the boxers and slips on a pair of jeans. She throws the boxers in the back and pulls out a bra and quickly puts it on under her shirt and we run out. We don't make it far. I guess Meg wasn't lying is my last thought before I' knocked out.

I come to slowly and the first thing I notice is that I can't move my hands or my feet. I pull at them but the rope just digs in deeper. I slowly open my eyes and I'm facing Lara. She is still out. We are on a bed and we are both tied up. Our hands are bound to the top of the bed and or feet our bound to the bottom of the bed. I can just roll from my back to my side but that's about it. "Lara?" I ask softly. She doesn't respond to me. "Lara come on you need to wake up." She slowly opens her eyes and starts to panic when she looks around.

"Where are we?"

"I don't know. I just woke up myself." I try to sound reassuring but I can't sound too great when I don't know where we are or how we are going to get out. She pulls at the restraints and she winces when they dig into her hands.

There is a loud bang and we both try to look at the end of the bed to see the door flung open. Two men come walking in. "It was easier to get you than we thought. Kind of a shame. I figured you guys would have put up more of fight."

Lara keeps staring at the guys with a confused look on her face. "Only one of you is a demon. Why are you helping them?" She asks the one who must not be a demon.

The man laughs. "They accept me for who I am and in return I help them." Great we have a psycho on our hands. That shouldn't make this any more complicated or anything.

"You're fucking sick you know that!" Lara screams at the man. He begins to laugh manically and the demon hits him in the arm. "Matt just fucking watch them watch them I gotta go. Don't do anything stupid. You know the rules. The boss doesn't want her touched until he has the honor." The demon turns around and leaves the room. Matt takes a seat on a chair across from us.

"It's alright Lara. We'll get out of this." I try to reassure her. She smiles at me weakly. We are both facing each other now on the bed but we can't get out of our restraints. "Oh isn't this sweet. You're trying to reassure your woman here that everything will be alright. We are just waiting for your dad and brother to hand over the colt then we are going to enjoy kill you Dean. Lara on the other hand we have other plans for."

I tense up and try to pull on my restraints. Matt comes over and brushes his hands over Lara's cheeks. She squirms trying to keep him from touching her. "Didn't your boss say not to touch her?" I yell at him.

He laughs and grabs her face keeping her from moving. "I am not allowed to fuck her is what he meant. The boss wants her a virgin when he gets his hands on her, but there is so much I can do with her and still be able to deliver her to my boss a virgin." What is it with all these fucking creatures wanting a virginal Lara? The man leans down and licks up Lara's face and she scrunches her eyes shut while pulling on her ropes.

He looks at her hand and points to the engagement ring I forgot to take off Lara's finger when we left Cassie's. "What is this? Are you engaged to this man Lara? Or maybe you are engaged to someone else?" He says jokingly slipping his hand down her shirt. I want to rip his arms off and beat him dead with them. "No matter no one is going to want you after we are done with you."

"That ring is a promise." I snarl out.

"A promise of what?"

"A promise that I will fucking kill you for touching her!" He starts to laugh again and leaves the room. I let out a sigh of relief. Maybe he is done. Lara's eyes are huge and wide with fear. "It's going to be alright Lara. Sammy will figure out where we are and come and get us."

She just shakes her head in agreement and keeps pulling at her restraints. I hear his footsteps coming back. Her eyes lock in with mine and I know she is petrified. I try to lift my head up to see him coming into the room. He has a pair of scissors and a gun. He stops behind Lara and puts his hand roughly on her shoulder. "Don't move too much. I don't want to knick your perfect body now do I?" That just makes her want to fight harder and she squirms even more. He hits hard in the back of the head. "Keep still bitch!" He screams at her.

Matt flips her on her back and takes the scissors to her jeans. He cuts up her left leg to the top of her jeans then goes back down to her right ankle and cuts up her right leg and rips the scraps off her jeans off her. Lara screams out and rolls her head to look at me. "Dean!" She screams out. I have never felt so useless before. I fight even harder against my restraints. I have to get free and kill this fucker! He then takes the scissors to her shirt and cuts it open.

"Perfect breasts don't you think so Dean?" Matt asks cutting through the center of her bra and ripping it off. "Don't touch me!" Lara screams out. Matt slaps her across the face. "SHUT UP BITCH!" He screams at her.

"Leave her alone!" I scream at him. He throws the scissors down on the side table of bed and grabs her breast roughly. Lara lets out a scream of pain and I fight against my restraints even harder. I can feel the blood dripping down my wrists but I don't care. "Don't you wish you fucked her when you had the chance?" Matt asks while he licks up Lara's chest.

Lara's body starts to shake and I know she is about to start to panic. "It's alright Lara. I am right here. Look at me squirt. I am right here." I try to get her to focus on anything but that man on top of her. She slowly rolls her head until she is looking at me. I keep my eyes locked on hers but I can see Matt roughly grabbing her breasts and kissing up and down her torso. Lara's eyes start to pool up and a tear slips from her eye lids.

"Uncle Gabe, Uncle Cas, help me please." She whispers. I remember her talking about them when she was a kid. There were imaginary friends. Why would she be asking for them now? Maybe it's for the best. Hopefully she has gone somewhere else in her mind and doesn't know what is happening to her.

Matt grabs her face roughly and pulls her to look at him. I see him undoing his pants. He pulls his cock out and Lara starts to hyperventilate. He comes closer to her and pulls his gun out and points it at my head. "You are going to suck bitch and if you bite I am going to blow his fucking head off! Do you understand me?" He screams at her. Lara shakes her head slightly yes and he shoves himself in her mouth.

I fight the rope trying to pull my hands out. It doesn't matter if they cut me. I have to safe her. I kick at the foot of the bed hoping to break the foot of the bed to get my feet free. If I can get them free I can kick this man in the face and hopefully knock him out. Lara's whole body is wracked with sobs and she is trembling. I am going to kill this man and I am going to like it. It doesn't matter that he is technically human I am going to fucking kill him!

Lara starts to gag and I can see vomit and cum coming out of the side of her lips. He pulls at quickly and hits her across the face. "You stupid cunt!" He screams. Matt grabs her roughly and rolls her on to her stomach. Her hands twisting so painfully she screams out. I can see the blood dripping down her arm. "You can't! The demon told you not to touch her!" I scream out while I try to wiggle just one hand out of the ropes.

" Don't worry she will still mostly be untouched." The rip of her panties echo through the room like a bomb just went off. "Oh what is this? An anti possession tattoo? Well that just want do." Matt says picking up the scissors and cutting a line through the center of her tattoo. Lara screams out in pain.

"Look at me Lara!" She turns her head and her eyes slowly focus on me. "That's right Squirt. Ignore him and just focus on me. This is going to be over real soon." I feel the rope slipping on my hands. It's a miracle. They feel like they are falling off my wrists. I get my hands free and before he can plunge into her I grab the lamp and I hit him over the head with it. Before he can get back up I jump over the bed and straddle him. I bring my hands to his neck and choke him. He claws at my face and tries to wiggle free but I keep my hand firmly around his neck. The fight slowly goes and he is dead beneath my hands. I keep my hold on his neck a bit longer just to make sure. I don't know if it's I'm afraid he's really alive or if I just want to keep killing him over and over again in my mind for what did to Lara.

Her whimpers are what break me from my mission. I let go of his neck and I pick up the scissors to cut her ropes. Once she is free I grab her and pull her into my lap. She begins to sob loudly into my chest. Only now that I have her in my arms and I know she is safe do I notice how much pain my hands are feet are in. They feel like are being pricked with thousands of pins and needles. It's a familiar feeling when your limbs have been bound. I pull her back slightly and move the hair from her face. "I am going to get you some clothes and we're out of here." I say kissing her forehead. She shakes her head yes then she starts to jerk. I quickly let her go and she runs into the bathroom. I hear her vomiting in to the toilet. I search the room for any clothes I can put her in and I find a pair of sweats and plain white tee in the dresser. I pull them out and head into the bathroom. She has a bar of soap in her mouth and she's trying to wash out her mouth and rinse it in the sink.

There's a loud whooping sound that I recognize has the fire alarm. "We got to get out of her Lara." She looks at me but I can tell she isn't with me. I help her step into the sweats and I lift her arms to slip the tee shirt on. "They got your hands free." She says in a daze. "I knew they would come."

I don't know what she is talking about but I grab her hand and I start to run to the front door. There a loud banging sound then the door is broken open. I put Lara behind me ready to fight who is coming through the door. Two fire fighters come through the door and when they see us throw off their helmets. "DAD! SAMMY!" I scream out .

We have a quick reunion and Sammy looks at Lara. "What happened to her?" He asks obviously referring to the fact she is shock. I shake my head no. "We will talk about it later." I pick her up and carry her out of the apartment. We run down the stairs and out the back door.

The truck is right out front. The impala is still at the hotel I assume and we have to all cram in to a three seater. Dad takes the wheel, Sammy takes bitch, and I take the window seat keeping Lara in my lap. She is in shock and I wouldn't be surprised if she has no clue what is really going on around her. She has buried her face deep in my chest and can't seem to stop shaking like a leaf. Once we pull over I can start trying to figure out how to make it better but I can't do that right now.

"What happened back there?" Dad asks me not looking away from the road. I look over at him and Sam who both have questioning looks on their faces. I shake my head no again. "Not now, later." I don't want to talk about it in front of her. She shouldn't have to live through it twice.

We pull up to an old cabin that one of dads contacts must have hidden. We get out of the truck and I carry Lara in to the house and dad flicks on the lights. I try to put Lara on her feet but she doesn't seem to be able to stand yet so I keep my arm around her. Lara raises her hand to move her hair out of face when she freezes and looks up at me. "Dean. Dean! It's on me! He's on me! Get it off, oh god get it off!" She starts to panic clawing at her hair and face.

I grab her and run to the bathroom. "Sammy get me some clothes for her to change into!" I scream at him as I carry her into the bathroom. Lara is still panicking in my arms so I don't bother striping her before turning on the water and throwing her in. I try to soothe her. "It's alright. We are going to wash it off. It's almost gone."

Lara is shaking under the water and I'm afraid she is going to pass out. I kick off my boots and step in with her to make sure she doesn't fall over. "It's going to be alright now. We're going to get you all nice and clean." She doesn't say anything and just stares at the corner of the bathroom in a daze. I grab a bar of old soap off the ledge and lather it up to clean Matt off her face and hair. I don't blame her for freaking out. After what she just went through finding him still on her a little panic is expected.

There a knock on the door. "Come in." I say towards the door. Sam enters holding a tshirt, sweatshirt, and a pair of running shorts that must have come out of his bag since all of our stuff is still in the impala back at the hotel. "I'll just leave these here." He says quietly then turns around and leaves.

Slowly yet surely Lara stops shaking. "Do you want me to draw you a bath?" I ask. She shakes her head yes. I stop the plug up and try to put some soap in it so she can have bubbles and get out of the water now thoroughly soaked. "I am going to be right on the other side of that door. If you need me just holler." I tell her softly. This morning I told myself to stay away from her and the bathroom and somehow I just ended up back here.

Lara shakes her head in understanding and as I leave the small bathroom she starts to strip out of her wet clothes. When I leave the bathroom Sam throws me dry clothes. "Thanks man." I reply. I peel off the soaking wet tshirt and jeans and put on a dry tshirt and sweatpants. "So what happened?" Sam finally asks.

I take in a deep breath. "We were attacked at the hotel and they kidnapped us. We were at the apartment complex and there was a human there."

"A human?" Sam interrupts.

"Yes a human, he worked for the demons. He said they let him be who he was so he helped them out. Well he liked Lara and well he…. He kind of…" Dad puts his arm on my shoulder. "We get it son no need to finish it."

I shake my head glad I don't have to say it. "He didn't have sex with her but he well yeah. So I got loose and I killed him right before you guys got here." There is a crash in the bathroom. I jump and run to the door and knock. "Lara you alright in there?"

"I am fine. Just ran into something." Lara replies. She is probably just a bit shaky on her feet still. I walk back to my dad and brother when the door opens and she comes out swimming in Sam's clothes. "Thanks Sammy I feel a lot better."

"Not a problem Lara." Lara walks over to him and nods. "Can I see the colt?" She asks. Sam gives her a strange look and starts to reach into the back of his jeans were I assume he has the colt.

Right before he hands it over he stops. "Why do you want to see it Lara? You've seen it before." Lara shrugs her shoulder. "I just want to see it Sam does it really matter why?" She doesn't sound like herself. She sounds colder.

Sam drops his hand and starts to take a step back. "Oh Sammy, come on don't be like that." Lara snickers out and that's when I notice, her eyes are yellow. That crash in the bathroom, it was that fucking demon getting in her. That anti possession tattoo was cut and I was too stupid to think about it and give her a hex bag.

We all immediately tense but Sam quickly responses and pulls the colt out and aims it at Lara's head. "What are you going to do Sammy? Do you think you can kill Lara? She's your little sister." The demon mocks Sam with Lara's voice. I run to get to her but Lara's hand flicks up and I fly against the wall. Dad tries to attack next and he's flung against the opposite wall. "Come on Sammy either kill me or give me the gun!"

Sam cocks the gun and looks at me. His face reading _ I don't know what to do Dean!_ I know he wants to kill the demon that killed mom and Jess but he would kill Lara if he did that. "Sam don't pull that trigger! We can exorcise him!" If he kills her I don't know what I will do.

The demon continues to taunt him. "Come on Sammy give me the gun. You're not going to hurt me I'm a body that is way too precious to you." Sam's trigger finger tenses when dad shouts out. "Don't kill her Sam!"

My eyes lock no to dad. In the past he would have no problems taking collateral if it meant killing the demon that killed mom. What has changed? Maybe he realizes now that the living matter too.

Lara's body starts to contort uncomfortable and her hands start to claw at her neck. "Do it Sammy! This is your only chance to kill him! I can't hold him off much longer I can't be possessed. Do it!"

Sam's eyes flash and his trigger finger tenses and pushes the trigger and the bullet escapes the chamber. "NO!" I scream out in unison with my dad. The bullet lodges itself in Lara's leg and dad and I hit the ground. I scramble to my feet to get to her but I can't. There is a thick black cloud of smoke pouring out of her body. Once it has escaped I crawl over to her and check her out. Her leg is bleeding but she will live. "What the hell were you thinking telling him to kill you Lara?!" I yell at her in frustration.

Lara winces and grabs towards her leg. "I couldn't stand him in me Dean. It was like my dream. He's been in my before in my dreams and I couldn't let him stay. I would rather be dead that have one of those things in me. I wanted him gone." She cries out.

I look at her leg. The bullet is lodged in her leg we have to go to the hospital we can't fix that. I look at dad and he's talking to Sammy quietly on the other side of the room. Sam eyes are lowered and he looks ashamed. "We need to get her to hospital." I tell them grabbing the wet tshirt I discarded a while ago and ripping it up to wrap around her leg so she doesn't bleed to death.

"Let's go." Dad states and I pick Lara up and we head to the truck. We get back into our seats with dad driving, Sam sitting bitch, and Lara sitting in my lap. She is coherent this time unlike the last time but she is in a lot of pain.

I hear it before I see it. I have spent most of my life on the road and road sounds were like nursery rhymes to me. I used to fall asleep to the sounds of big trucks and horns. I recognize the sound a tractor trailer truck from my right ear but it takes me a moment to place it. The truck shouldn't be coming at us like that I think as it slams in to us.


	32. Chapter 32

John's POV

I had to talk to Sammy immediately. Was the only thought running through my mind when he pulled that trigger and shot Lara. Once the bullet escaped the chamber all hell broke loose. Lara's body hit the floor, the demon poured out of her, and Dean attached himself to her. Sam lowers the colt and his eyes glaze over. I quickly run over to him and shake him. "Sam! What the hell were you thinking?" I scream at him.

"The demon killed mom, killed Jess. He had to die." He responds to me in a trance. I give him a tight hug then pull away and shake him. "You cannot risk hurting Lara. Your brother will never come back from that." I explain to him. I'm not quite sure when I stopped being the man I always was. A few years ago I don't think I would have cared who died if it got me the demon but I then I saw the way Dean looked at Lara that night on the road with the vampires. I saw myself and I just can't risk him turning into me.

Sam pulls away from me and scrunches up his face. "But you were going to kill Lara on the road that night." He accuses me. I lower my head in shame and shake my head. "That was before I knew."

"Knew what?" Sammy might be blinder than the two fools currently fawning over each other on the floor.

"That your brother is head over heels in love with Lara and she is with him." Sam starts to speak, to fight with me but he looks over at his brother. I know he is seeing what I am seeing. Dean's whole world is Lara right now. Nothing matters but her. I doubt he even knows we're still in the room. It was the same way with his mom. When Mary was in the room no one else mattered. "Shit…" Sam stutters out.

"It's alright Sam. You didn't kill her. But you need to realize if something happens to her your brother will stop being the boy that raised you and turn into me. You understand?" I grab his neck and force him to look me in the eyes. He thinks about what I said and slowly shakes his head. "We can't allow him to be like us." I say quietly.

That's when I notice that Dean is talking to us. "We need to get her to a hospital." He says on the verge of a panic attack. I know what that panic feels like. The feeling that the person you love most in this world is going to die in front of you.

We quickly load into the truck and are back in our seating arrangements. No one is really speaking unless you count the little nothings that Dean is whispering to Lara trying to keep her calm. Bobby is going to kill me for sure this time.

SLAM!

I wake up slowly and to the sounds of men shaking me. I sit up quickly and look around. "Where are my boys! Sam? Dean? Lara?" I scream out.

A man pushes me back down on the bed. "Sir you need to calm down. You were in a car accident. Sam is alright he is in triage right now for a cut on his forehead."

"Lara and Dean?" I fumble out afraid of his response. The man doesn't even look me in the eyes. "They are in surgery." He says quietly.

"I need to see them!" I try to get up but he keeps me on the bed. "Sir you need to calm down. We need to treat you and once they are out you can see them."

Fuck! "You need to keep them in a recovery room together. It will help. I know it sounds crazy but it will." The man tilts his head and gives me a confused look. I remember seeing Mary's ring on Lara's finger. I doubt my son got smart and asked her to marry him and it was more than likely a prop for their last hunt but it will help me now. "They are recently engaged. They are each other's world. You need to keep them together." I know the only thing that would have helped me come through something like this was Mary.

"Sir lay back and I will see what I can do when they are out of surgery. Just relax, you have stitches keeping your forehead together and your arm is broken." The man pushes me back down and I relax slightly knowing I can't do anything right now anyways.

After an hour or so Sam joins me in my room and we wait for news on Dean and Lara. "Sam?" I ask him. He looks totally lost in his own mind.

"I should have seen it. I mean Dean is my older brother and Lara is for all intensive purposes my little sister. How didn't I see it? What if I would have killed her dad? Dean never would have forgiven me. He would have hated me." Sam doesn't look up just keeps that dejected kicked puppy look on his face.

"It's alright son. You didn't kill her and in the end you got the demon out of her. We will figure it all out once they wake up." I try to reassure him but I know it won't do any good. He won't feel better until Dean tells him it's alright. I am so sorry Mary. I really fucked up with our kids. I should have raised them better, different. But I was so consumed with rage and revenge that I created this situation.

"Mr. Winchester?" I young male doctor asks coming into my room. Sam and I both sit up straight and I nod at the doctor. "Mr. Winchester I have news on Lara Maywin and Dean Winchester who came in with you." The man pauses and looks from Sam to me and back. I know this isn't going to be good. "They are both out of surgery but they are both in comas. There was a lot of damage done to their brains and in my medical opinion they will not be waking up. I have taken your advice under advisement and I have them in the same recovery room. I suggest that you and your son say good bye and call any other family members that you would like here because I doubt they will make it."

Sam grabs my arm and I look at him. He is scared. His eyes are filling with tears that I am not going to allow to fall. I can fix this.

Lara's POV

Why is everything so cloudy? I feel so airy and wispy. It reminds me of that time I had nitrous at the dentist's office. I force my eyes open and I look around. I am in a hospital. I can tell that right away. I sit up slowly and look to my left. Dean! He is laying in bed next to me with wires coming in and out of him. I'm in one of those thin hospital gowns and I can feel the breeze on my back. "Lara!"

I look up and Uncle Gabe is standing in the doorway. He isn't in a vessel it's a controlled version of his true self. "Uncle Gabe! What is going on?" My voice is shaky but I am determined not to break down. Uncle Gabe runs to the bed I am still sitting on and pulls me into his arms. I relax into him. I know everything will be alright now that he is here. "Did you help Dean in that apartment?" I cry into his neck.

He pulls back and looks me in the eyes and kisses my forehead. "Darling I am so sorry that had to happen to you. The demons angel proofed the entire complex. Your Uncle Cas and I focused our grace and were able to loosen his ropes so he could attack. I promise you that man is in hell and will suffer greatly for what he has done."

I shouldn't be happy that someone is going to be in hell for eternity but he deserved it. "Have you figured anything out about my dreams?"

Uncle Gabe sighs and closes his eyes for a second. "Darling there is a lot going on right now. Do you want to talk about that?"

"What do you mean a lot is going on?" I'm so confused. I just woke up in a hospital. He leans over and holds me again. "Honey you and Dean are in comas." He says softly. I pull back and try to push him off me. That's not possible. I'm right here. I try to fight him and manage to stand up. HOLY FUCKING SHIT! I am looking down at my own broken body. I start to hyperventilate. My soul is out of my body.

"Uncle Gabe am I dead?" I start to shake and step back until I hit Dean's bed. I lean over and caress his face. "What about Dean?"

Before he can respond to me there is another call from the hallways. "Lara!" I hear a familiar voice screaming. I run out to the hallway and Dean is standing there. He's in a hospital gown too and he looks pissed and confused. I run to him and he holds me close. "Are we dead?" I ask again.

"I don't know Lara. I just woke up like this." I hear footsteps behind him and I peak around him and there is a reaper. "Dean we need to run…"

"What's wrong Lara?" He asks me lifting me face to make me look at him. I point at the girl behind him. "That's a reaper Dean."

Dean turns around and looks at the reaper. "No that's Tess. She is in here like us." I shake my head no. "No Dean that is a reaper."

From our room I hear footsteps and I look and Uncle Gabe is standing there. "Who is that?" Dean asks me. How do I answer that? The boys aren't supposed to know about the angels.

"Go away reaper. You can't have their souls yet. This isn't their time." Uncle Gabe flatly says. He walks to us and puts his hand protectively on my shoulder.

The reaper laughs. "I am sorry angel but it is their time. I was sent and my boss doesn't make mistakes." Uncle Gabe's hand tightens on my arm. "In this case he did. Have your boss call my boss I assure you that he will confirm this." The reaper huffs off to talk to her boss I assume.

"Lara what is going on?" Dean asks me pulling me away from what he assumes is a threat. I give Uncle Gabe pleading eyes. I don't know what to do. He shakes his head slightly at me. "It's alright darling he won't remember any of this when he wakes up."

I turn in Dean's arms and bury my face in his chest for a moment to collect myself. "Dean you have heard me talk about my Uncle Gabe and Cas before right?" He shakes his head yes. "Just yesterday you called for them when we were in the apartment complex."

"Yes I have seen them since I was just a child. They have watched over my since I was a baby. They are my guardian angels only I see them." I know this sounds crazy.

Dean starts to laugh. "You want me to believe there are angels?" I give him a serious glance and shake my head yes. "They have been with me since I was born Dean. This is the archangel Gabriel. Castiel is the other angel that I see regularly. That night with the vampires when someone appeared to your father that was the angel Balthazar. I don't see him as frequently because I am closest with Gabriel and Castiel but I do know him."

"You're serious aren't you?"

Uncle Gabe pulls me back to him and I reluctantly go to him. "This little girl is very important and we have watched over her since she was just a sparkle in her mommy's eye. We have helped when we could but we cannot change her path. We helped you in the apartment. We found a way to loosen your ropes."

"Why?!" Dean screams out. Uncle Gabe cocks his head to the side slightly. "Why what Dean?" He responds.

"Why are you watching her? What do you want her for? I swear if you hurt her I am going to find a way to kill you!" I shrug off Uncle Gabe and hold Dean tightly. "They would never hurt me Dean. They love me and I love them."

"Dean we would never hurt Lara."

"Why are you watching over her? Balthazar told my father she was special and important. What does that mean?" I was out for this so I don't know what Balthazar told John.

Uncle Gabe gives me a sad smile. "Lara is special Dean that is all you need to know. Castiel, Balthazar, and I would die for her. In fact right now they are holding Castiel prisoner to make sure I don't do anything rash and change her path."

Uncle Cas is being held prisoner? "He is alright? They won't hurt them will they?" This is the second time they have been held because of me. "He will be fine darling. They are just holding him as an insurance policy. I promise you no harm will come to him."

Dean's arms tense around me. "What are they worried you are going to do? If they are holding collateral against you they must be worried about something."

"Lara's path is not always easy. It breaks our hearts every time she has to suffer even for a moment. I would have done anything to save her parents Dean. I would have killed every creature out there if I could have spared her what happened last night. I would even have destroyed the world to save your mother Dean but your lives are set and we are not to interfere with that."

"What is going on with her dreams?" I am surprised that is the next thought he has but he always surprises me. "They are getting really violent."

"We figured them out." He says sadly.

I grab Uncle Gabe's hand. "What are they? Why are they so powerful? Why have I been seeing them since I can remember?" I beg him. He shakes his head no trying to ignore us. "Please you have to tell me. It will help if I know and can understand it."

His hand tightens around mind. "Darling your dreams are of you."

"Yea I know that. They have always been of me."

He shakes his head no. "No darling they are actually of you. We found out that in a parallel universe your parents are killed and you're taken when you are two years old. They take you to a demon body farm and you are sent out on missions over and over again. But because of who you are your body and mind aren't failing. Most of them go crazy after 50 possession but you darling will never go crazy. Your body will fall apart long before your mind will. These things you see when you are asleep are actually happening to a version of you."

No, no, no! That isn't possible. I know I am shaking and Dean tightens his grip on me. "No that can't be. Those can't be real. I can't be going through this." My legs start to go out and I slip the floor. Dean helps me down and holds me on the ground while I sob wildly in his arms. Uncle Gabe kneels in front of us and caresses my face. "Can you get me out of there? I don't want me going through that! Please get me out of there! I thought they were myths, oh my god are they real here to? Meg that girl they are keeping bodies in there like a store!" I can't keep my mind focuses on one idea right now.

"I wish I could get you out of there but I cannot. It would be detrimental to our world and theirs if I go over there." I can hear the pain in his voice he wants to save me, but he can't.

"What are you doing here now then? Can you bring us back to life so we can try to find these places and shut them down?" Deans asks still holding me tightly.

"It would destroy the natural order of things. You and Lara and essentially dead right now. Your souls are waiting to cross over. John is going to make a deal to save you both. I am not to let the reapers take you but I am not to bring you back either."

"Uncle Gabe you have to stop John! You can't let him make a deal for us. Please Uncle Gabe please. I can't let him go to hell for us." I plead with every ounce of strength I have left.

"Lara if I do this there will be repercussions that you can't even fathom. I have a onetime shot at changing your world. If I do it once I will be closely monitored. This is onetime thing. Are you sure you want me to use it on this? There will not be another one. You will want me to intercede again but this will be the last time." I feel like he is trying to allude something to me but I can't figure it out.

I shake my head yes. "Yes don't let him sell his soul Uncle Gabe. I can't have him going to hell for me." He stands up and shakes his head. "So you know me saving him now will not keep him alive. This is his time but he will go to heaven and be with his wife. He will still have trade something for Dean. I can bring you back and keep him from giving his soul over for you but not for him. He will give the colt over for Dean and shortly after you wake up he will die."

"So be it. Just don't let him go to hell Uncle Gabe please." I beg him. Uncle Gabe smiles sadly at me and touches the top of Dean's head. "You won't remember this when you wake up son. But we will meet again someday." Then he is gone.

"What do we do now?" Dean asks me. I shrug my shoulders. "We wait."

John's POV

"I would like to make a deal to bring them back to life. I will give you my soul to bring them both back." I have been chasing this demon my entire life and now I am actually trying to reason with him.

Azazeal laughs at me. "I'm sorry John but you don't get two for the price of one. I am going to need more than your soul."

I know it wouldn't be that easy. "I'll give you the colt and my soul for them." I have to keep them together. If I only bring back Dean he will wither away and die like I have. "How long will I have?"

"You're a hunter John you will get mere moments. I can't risk you finding a loop hole." I shake my head in agreement. "I will want to see them brought back first then you can take me. But please don't let them know I made a deal."

"It will look natural." The demon promises me. He moves towards me to seal the deal but the atmosphere of the room changes and a man is standing between us. "I don't think so Azazeal." He smirks at the demon.

I have hunted demons my entire life but I have never seen one look afraid. He looks afraid. He takes a step back from the man in front of me. "Gabriel how unexpected." Gabriel? Who the hell is Gabriel. The man turns around and flashes me a grin. "You will take the deal with the colt and raise Dean but you will be leaving John's soul alone. I will take care of Lara."

The demon wants to fight him on this but he shakes his head in agreement. He takes the colt from me and nods. "Dean will be awake when you get back up there." The demons all quickly leave the room. The man named Gabriel turns around and smiles at me. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you. I hear you meet my brother Balthazar recently."

I have no clue what this man is talking about. He just smiles at me. "I am an angel John. I am the arch angel Gabriel. Lara's uncle told you that she was protected from high up, well she is protected from the highest. I am going to raise Lara but John I can't keep you from dying. Tonight is your time but I promise you that you will go to heaven and be with your wife."

"Why are you watching over Lara?" I ask him. Gabriel begins to laugh. "Your son asked me the same question not 5 minutes ago. Lara is special John just like Bobby said. She was created to be the vessel for God on earth. She will carry the second coming of Christ in case of the apocalypse."

There are a lot of things that he could have said that wouldn't have surprised me but that nearly sent me on my ass. "Lara is going to carry the second coming of Christ and be a vessel for God in case of the apocalypse?!" I shout out.

"Your boys are also deeply entrenched in the apocalypse John. Dean will raise the Christ child like his own when the time comes." I smile at that. Those two must eventually get their heads out of their asses and get together. The angel responds to me like he is reading my mind. "They do at one point get their heads out of their asses. Now go say goodbye to your boys John. I will see you on the other side with your wife." And the angel disappears. I am going to see Mary soon. He promised me I would be reunited with Mary.

I run back to Dean's and Lara's room. I am going to die. I am going to miss my boys but I will be back with Mary. Sam is standing outside the room pacing when I get up there. I run to him and pull him into a hug. Sam tenses up at first not used to me being affectionate but then relaxes into the hug. "I know I haven't always been around Sam but I love you very much. I have from the first moment your mom put you in my arms. I just wanted you to know that."

"I know you do dad. What's wrong?" He asks me. I shake my head. "Nothing I just wanted you to know that." I go into the room and Dean and Lara are both slowly waking up. I feel my heart skip a beat to see them alive.

"Lara?" Dean mumbles. I smile. Of course the first thing he would think about is Lara. "Over here Dean." She responds. I can hear the exhaustion in her voice. She looks up at makes eye contact with me. She knows. I go over and kiss her head. "I meet Gabriel. Everything is alright sweetheart. Take care of my boys." I whisper in her ear. She smiles at me while tears pour down her face. I see Mary's earrings in her ear and I smile bigger.

I go over to Dean and sit down on his bed. "Hey son how are you feeling?"

"Like I got hit by a truck! Oh wait I did!" Always a sarcastic ass even when faced with death. I can't help but smile.

I pet his head and he smiles at me. "I am glad you are alright Dean. You know how important you and your brother are to me right?" I ask him. He shakes his head yes. "Good. I love you son." I lean down to his ear. I don't want Lara to hear this. She won't understand. "Dean you need to watch over Sam. Something isn't right and if things go south you are going to have to take him down." I hate putting that weight on his chest but he needs to be warned. I know what that demon has in store for my son but I won't be around to protect him.

Dean grabs my arm. "What are you talking about dad?" I can hear the panic in his voice. I try to smile at him and grab his hand. "I hope you will never have to know but just watch him." I stand up and I feel the pain hit my chest. This is it.

It is quick. I don't feel much pain and it's overly quickly. I open my eyes again and Gabriel is over me. "I said I would see you on the other side." He tells me with a smirk. He helps me stand and walks me over to a door. He opens the door and Mary is on the other side. I quickly pull her to me. "Mary!" I cry into her hair.

"It's my John. It's me." She whispers into my chest. I turn around to thank Gabriel but there are angels flanking him now. "What is going on?" I ask him.

"I shouldn't have interfered. This is my punishment. But do not be afraid I will be fine and so will Dean and Lara." He reassures me while the angels take him away. I focus back on Mary.

a/n I hope you all liked it! After a guest reviewer I felt it was best to explain preciously who Lara is. I guess I took for granted that most of you had read becoming free already. Sorry for that. But don't worry you don't need to read the other one to read this one. Especially now that I have cleared some things up!

Oh yea please review!


	33. Chapter 33

Lara's POV

I wish Dean could remember. I feel like I am lying to him and I hate feeling like that. He wants to know about my dreams and I feel like I can't explain them. How can I? If I do explain it he will want to know how I know it. There is no way for me to explain it to him without telling him about the angels and they don't want me too. But they are gone now.

Uncle Cas and Uncle Gabe have been MIA for days now. I want to see them. I have to know they are alright. I made Uncle Gabe do something he wasn't allowed to do and I have to know they have not hurt him. All of this has taught me a valuable lesson. Do not trust the angels. I trust Uncle Gabe and Uncle Cas with my life but I can't trust the rest of them. How can they hurt him because he kept a man from going to hell? Isn't that what angels are supposed to do? I just don't understand! And even then Uncle Cas didn't do anything. He should be free. I keep praying to him hoping to just smell the ocean to know he's around but nothing. I would buy a bag of heresy's kisses to smell them if I thought I could actually trick my brain into believing Uncle Gabe is alright.

It has been a week now since John passed away. Dean brought me home. We are all recovering here. We may have been brought back from the dead but we weren't completely healed. He doesn't want to admit it but he needs to recover. He has nightmares at night that are starting to rival mine. It starts with low moans and goes into complete fits of rage. I am not 100 percent sure because he refuses to tell me but I think he is dreaming of what happened to me that night at the apartment when Matt was there. I know he doesn't want to remind me of that incident. It haunts me enough without someone reminding me of it. Sometimes I think he is dreaming of his dad though. He'll mummer dad in his sleep. It would be cute if he wasn't in so much pain. He's an orphan like me now. It's not a fun club to be part of.

"Hey Dean I am going to go out and shoot for bit!" I yell up the stairs as I leave the house. "OK squirt don't go too far!" He yells back down. He better be up there sleeping and not drinking. He isn't ready to talk about it yet but he is grieving for his father and that is how a Winchester deals with grief… drinking.

Shooting feels good. I like how it feels to take aim and be in control. This I can do in my sleep. There is no second guessing it just is. I feel the air change and I whip around hoping to see one of my angelic uncles. Instead there is a slightly overweight balding man in front of me. "Who are you?" I spit out keeping my gun trained on him. I don't recognize this man he could be anyone.

The man laughs and raises his hands in mock surrender. "I'm Zachariah. I am an angel and I will be looking over you for now. Your guardians are in big trouble." I shake my head no. "I don't need you."

I don't know why but I don't trust this man. I don't lower my gun and keep it trained on threat in front of me. "You do need me though Lara. You need an angel looking over you and I am going to be doing that. But there is going to be a lot of changes around here. First of all I am not going to be at your beck and call like Gabriel and Castiel were. I am in charge and you will do as I say. I need to keep you alive until your duty calls." His voice is grating and annoying. And I despise how he says my name.

"Listen, you can go back where you came from. I don't need you. I just want to be left alone. I will be fine with my family and the Winchesters. Uncle Gabe and Cas always trusted them to watch over me and I trust their judgment." I don't want this man, well angel, anywhere need me. He makes a move towards me and I send of a warning bullet that whizzes past his head. I meant to miss, if it wasn't a warning I wouldn't have missed.

He starts to laugh again. He snaps his fingers and my gun disappears. I take a nervous step backwards. "Oh yes because your so called uncles trust in those people have done you so well. In the last week of their guardianship you got kidnapped almost rapped and possessed. I don't know if I would trust their judgment." I take another step back. How dare he mention something he knows nothing about. I am not ready to talk about the almost rape and even if I was it sure as hell wouldn't be with this ass hole in front of me.

"Go away." I say sternly. The angel stalks closer to me and grabs my arm. "Not going to happen princess. You are my duty now and this is how it is going to be."

He squeezes me arm just a bit too tight and I wince. "Let me go!" I scream out trying to twist my arm free. If he wasn't an angel I know I would be able to free myself from his grip. I can tell I am going to bruise. Uncle Gabe and Cas never once so much as yelled at me let alone hurt me.

There is another change in the pressure and I feel myself silently praying for one my uncles. "Oh Zachariah! Really now you are resorting to this. Your lust for power really has no bonds." I hear from behind me in a crisp British accent. He's not one of my uncles but he will do. He saved my life once and I know I can trust him because my uncles do.

"What do you want Balthazar?" Zachariah spits out. Balthazar grabs Zachariah's wrist until he drops my arm and he lightly puts his arm around me and pulls me away from Zachariah. I can feel his grace coming over, protecting me invisibly from the angel in front of me. His wings cover my back and I know I am safe but he doesn't trust him either.

"I see that Lara hasn't warmed to you anymore now than she did when she was toddler. I think you know how this works brother." I have never been so glad to hear his British snappiness before. Zachariah lets out an angry scream and I curl into Balthazar and cringe. He gives me a supportive hug with his arms and his wings. His grace warms around me, he is getting angry.

"That is not how this works Balthazar. I am her guardian now! She is mine!" I flinch again. He sounds so possessive over me. This man doesn't own me! And I sure as hell don't want him guarding me. I can only imagine what that would entail with this so called angel.

Balthazar just laughs. "No brother she has final say in the end and you know that. Just like when she was a kid and you used to scare her and she was able to choose her guardians she can do that now." Balthazar kisses the top of my head and pulls me back a bit slowly getting further and further from Zachariah. "So honey does big bad Zach still bother you? If he does all you have to say is that you don't like him and want me to be your guardian now."

Relief washes over me. I have an out. "Yes Balthazar. Zachariah upsets me. I don't want him to be my guardian he scares me. Can't you be my guardian Balthazar? I would feel much safer and comfortable with you watching over me." I pout a bit like a school girl. I know it is not good to bate this foe but I feel like fucking with him like he had with me.

Zachariah's face turns bright red and for a moment I feel like I might see a blood vessel pop in his head. For a moment I am worried he will hit me if not kill me but Balthazar traps me between his arm and his wings. "You heard her brother. Leave."

In a flutter of anguish he disappears. I grab on to Balthazar's arm. "Thank you so much. I do not like him nor do I trust him. I don't want him near me again." He just smiles at me. "Don't worry darling he will not be coming around for quite some time now. He knows the rules. Once you say you don't want him he has to stay away."

"What now? Are Uncle Gabe and Cas alright? And what did he mean by do my duty?" I have so many questions I had been praying for my uncles for so long and I just want to know what is going on.

He lets out a chuckle. "So many questions!" He smiles and takes me to a car bench for us to sit on. "First of all your uncles are safe. I have seen them personally and they have not been hurt. They are being punished yes but not hurt. They are being held captive until a later date. I want you to know that I agree with what they did but there are a lot of angels not happy with them right now. We are all under specific orders not to change the paths of our charges lives. But luckily for us John was going to be released from Hell at one point and welcomed into heaven to be with his wife. So all they did was skip a step. But they are in trouble for that. They will be held in captivity for quite some time. We are lucky that Gabriel was involved. If it was Castiel I fear the punishment would have been much worst since he is so young. He has tried to change your path numerous times and have been reprimanded in much worse ways."

I gasp. "What do you mean he has been reprimanded in much worse ways?" The thought of someone suffering for me is heart breaking.

Balthazar sends a wave of grace over me to calm me. "Darling there are many of us who love you very much. Your Uncle Cas and Gabriel, me, and even Michael even though he used to scare you as a child. But he is a bit much sometimes." He seems a bit lost in his mind thinking of his siblings. "Well there have been a few times that Cas has tried to change your path and he has had to be restrained by Gabriel and sometimes by Gabriel and Michael. The night your parents died he was so afraid of the pain it would cause you he tried to stop it. Gabriel was torn on what to do. He wanted you to be happy but he knew that the death of your parents would be one of the defining moments of your life. Michael had to come down and restrain him. Castiel was punished then for his action. He was not tortured per say but he was not treated kindly but he knew the consequences. Michael and Gabriel did intercede on his behave though saying that you would need him and that they needed to release him."

I was in so much pain during that time that I never even noticed that Uncle Cas was hurt. "I should have noticed. I never want them hurt for me. You have to believe that. I would never ask them to do something that could end in them getting hurt."

Balthazar pulls me into him and gives me a hug and kiss on the forehead. "I know that darling. They love you so much and they don't regret anything that have done they just wish they had been able to help you more. They wanted me to tell you they are sorry."

"Sorry? What do they have to be sorry for? I am the one that got them in trouble."

"They wanted me to say sorry for something that will happen. They are not allowed to interfere again and someday in the future you will understand this apology much better. Once the risk of them interfering has passed they will rejoin you. As for your duty I wouldn't worry about that for a long time but dear this is something for your uncles to explain to you not me." He gives me one last grin then stands up. "It will be fine Lara. I am always a prayer away. I will not hover but I will always be near." Then he disappears.

I get up slowly and walk back to the house. I see that Uncle Bobby and Aunt Karen are still out. Her chemo treatment should be done but sometimes they have to stay at the clinic for a few hours after until she is feeling better. The impala is pulled out front near the front door when I walk up and Sam comes bounding out of the house with a duffel over his shoulder. "Where are you going?" I ask him.

"Dean said he talked to you. We have a hunt lined up and we're headed out." He tells me. I feel the fury build up in me. "No he didn't tell me." I say through my teeth.

"He's upstairs getting ready." That's all I need to hear. I rip the front door open and slam it shut taking the stairs two at a time. Even though my dreams have been pitch black since Cassie's we have both been nervous. I have been petrified every time I close my eyes in case it starts again. Dean has had the same fear. He has stayed with me every night since waiting for me to be attacked in my sleep again. He wakes me up every two hours just to make sure. If I even so much as moan he shakes me awake and checks my body to make sure I don't have so much as a nick. Between the precautions to make sure I am not getting marked again and him having his own nightmares we aren't sleeping much.

"What are you doing? Were you even going to tell me you guys were leaving?" I can tell by the look on his face he was hoping to leave a note and not have to face me. "How fucking dare you!" I scream at him stamping my foot down. "How fucking dare you not tell me you were going to leave me!"

Dean doesn't look me in eyes but looks down on his boots. "I knew if I told you we were leaving you would want to come with us and for right now you can't come with us Lara."

"What the fuck do you mean I can't come?!"

"Lara you can't come with us this time." He still won't look at me. I grab his arm and make him look at me. "Dean I am one of the best hunters out there why can't I come?"

He takes in a deep breath. "First of all Sam and I need some time together. With everything that happened with dad we just need some time as brothers. Second of all it's not safe for you."

"Not safe? Not fucking safe? Dean I knew that when I started this. Believe it or not I knew when I started training this isn't a 9 to 5 be home every night for dinner safe job." How can he tell me it's not safe? I'm not a child and I know what I am doing.

"In the last 24 hours we were hunting together you almost got killed by a ghost truck, you got kidnapped, you got… well with Matt, you got possessed, you got shot, and you got hit by a car and fell into a coma. For me to be able to focus on the task at hand with Sam and the demon I need to know you are safe. If I have to worry about you getting hurt I can't do that." Dammit if he doesn't sound sincere.

"Dean if you walk out that door without me don't you dare….."

Pain floods Dean's face and he reaches out and grabs my hand. "Please don't say that Lara. Don't tell me not to come back. I won't be able to survive that. I am not doing this to hurt you. I am doing this to keep myself sane. Please don't banish me." He sounds like he is about to crack.

I let out a chuckle and give him a tight hug. "If you would let me finish. Dean if you walk out that door without me don't you dare forget to call me every night. When you and your brother have done whatever it is you need to do you better call me immediately because I want my hunting partner back."

"So I can come back?" He asks me hopefully. I smile into his chest and pull back. "Of course Dean. You are always welcome here. Don't you ever forget where your home is. Now you call me every night and when you both do what you got to do I want back in. No excuses no stories I am back in."

Dean shakes his head slowly and leans down and kisses my forehead. "When we figure this out I promise you that you can be back in. No excuses. I will miss my hunting partner as well. Now stay safe."

"Dean wait!" I scream out pulling the ring off my ring finger. With everything going on I just forgot that I still had it. We haven't had a lot of down time since we left Cassie's. He turns around and I put his mom's engagement ring in his palm. "I almost forgot." I say with a stupid grin. Dean smiles at me and kisses my forehead and with that he leaves the room.

I don't want to risk sounding dramatic but has he leaves I can feel the room get a bit colder. Sleeping is going to be scarier than it was. No one will be there to wake me up and if I have another attack I don't know what I will do.

"I'll be here." I hear almost like a whisper in the room. I know it's Balthazar. He's letting me know he is going to take over for my uncles to watch over me while I sleep.

3 months later

"Are you sure you want to leave honey?" My Aunt Karen asks me petting my hair like she used to when I was a little girl. I smile and shake my head. "Alright, just make sure to call us when you get there."

It was a miracle. About a month ago all of Aunt Karen's cancer disappeared. It just up and left her body. Balthazar said it wasn't Aunt Karen's time and Michael cured her. I don't remember Michael much but I have a few vague memories of him. Balthazar claims its Michael's way of proving himself to me. I want to trust him but besides my uncles and Balthazar I have a hard time trusting the angels. Shortly after she got better I got restless. Dean calls me every day and so does Sam but they won't let me hunt with them right now. So I called up Jo and I am going to go work for her mom at the Road House. I'll be able to take a few simple hunts here and there but for the most part I am going to just help them with the bar. It will be fun to have a real job for a bit. Dean swears when everything is worked out I'll be able to hunt with them again so I'm trusting him on that.

Uncle Bobby comes out of the house with the last of my bags and puts them in the back of my bug. He gives me a tight hug and for a moment I don't think he's going to let go. "I'm not leaving forever Uncle Bobby I'll be home to visit soon."

"I know sweat heart it's just hard to watch you go off. Make sure to call us when you get there. Have you told the boys yet that you are going to be working there?" I roll my eyes and cock my hip to the side. "I don't have to ask them for permission."

He bursts out laughing and kisses my forehead. "Didn't say you needed too just thought that Dean will shit a brick if he shows up there and you are working there and he didn't know." He continues to chuckle and then gets a bit more serious. "Are you going to be alright?" I know what he is referring to. My nightmares are out of control.

I feel the air shift next to me and Balthazar appears and puts his arm around my shoulder. He feels fairly comfortable in front of my aunt and uncle but still won't let me tell the Winchesters. "I will make sure she is alright." He says squeezing my shoulders.

Uncle Bobby squints his eyes at the angel next to me. "You better feather boy! I don't want anything happening to my little girl." Balthazar laughs it off and jumps in my car. "Uncle Bobby I will be fine. As long as someone wakes me up a few times a night I am fine." He doesn't quite believe me but he lets me go. To be honest I don't quite believe me.

The dreams that were thankfully black unfortunately came back with a vengeance. I found out that in that other world I had been shot and I was in a coma that is why it was black. Once I woke up they put my body back to work. I try to avoid sleeping at all costs but my body fights me on it and I end up falling asleep regardless. Balthazar stays with me every night now and wakes me up every 2 hours. I wish Dean was here but I can't wish things for things that can't happen.

We drive in silence and I enjoy time with my thoughts. I am excited to start working at Ellen's. I will be able to help the hunters and she even said Jo and I could go on a few hunts together if she approves them first. I'm going to take over their kitchen. It just so happened the night I called them their cook quit and they needed someone.

"You doing ok over there?" Balthazar asks me turning the dial on my music down. I smile at him and shake my head. "I'm doing fine."

He grabs my hand and squeezes it. "Does your stomach still hurt?" Last night when he woke me up I had been kicked in the stomach really hard and it was really bruised and I coughed up some blood. He healed me and helped me fall back asleep. I thought it would help to know why I have these dreams but it's made it worst. I can't separate myself from them anymore because I know it's me.

"I'm fine. I was just a bit sore this morning but it feels just fine today. Thanks." He doesn't push it and we go back to just driving. I like Balthazar. He's more like a friend than family but I enjoy his company. He keeps me updated on my uncles too. He swears they are fine and he has even brought me some gifts from them. They sent me a charm for my bracelet. It's an angel's wing and they infused it with their grace. When I wake up from an especially horrible dream it gives me some peace.

We pull into the Roadhouse fairly late it's almost midnight. The bar is packed though so I take a spot in the back. "I going to go now honey but you know I'm watching over you." Balthazar says has he disappears. He is just as much as a mother hen as my uncles sometimes.

I feel around the back seat of my car for my leather jacket and pull it over my slightly modified Guns N Roses tshirt and walk towards the bar. Ellen and Jo are expecting me and I'll be staying with them tonight and tomorrow Jo and I are going to move into our own apartment next to the bar.

The bar is packed. I shouldn't be surprised this in one of the few hunter bars in America. There are some none hunters here too. You can tell by the way they let their guard down. A hunter is always stiff and ready to attack even when they are drunk.

My heart stops for just a moment. I wasn't expecting this. How didn't I notice his car outside? Of course he is flirting/dancing with some none hunter slut bar patron. "LARA!" I hear Jo scream my name from the corner. I turn around quickly and catch Jo in a tight hug. Sam is right behind her and he pulls me from her quickly and gives me an even tighter hug.

"I have missed you so much little sis." Sam whispers into my ear. I smile and refuse to let go of him for just a moment then I stand back. "Then why haven't you ass holes come to visit me?" I retort with a smile and a playful punch in the arm.

Before I can react there is a pair of arms behind me lifting me off the ground. I manage to kick the attacker in the shins and he lets out a scream. "Dammit Lara it's just me!" Dean moans out behind me. He drops me and I spin around and give him a hug. "Don't sneak up on me you idiot!"

"I have just learned that lesson." He says with a laugh. "What are you doing here?" He asks me genuinely confused.

I look at Jo and I can tell she won't be any help for me in this conversation. "Well I decided to come here and work for Ellen. They needed a new cook cause there's up and quit. And also joandiwillbetakingsmallhunts ." I try to run all the words together hoping and praying he will just move past it.

"What did you say there?" He asks me getting a suspicious look in his eyes. I take a deep breath. I am not doing anything wrong. "Jo and I will be taking some small hunts here and there while I am working here."

"LIKE HELL YOU ARE!" Dean explodes and grabs my arm roughly and drags me to the back office. Jo and Sam stand there for a moment in shock then follow us back. "I told you that I need you safe for me to focus on what I have to do with Sam and you are going to go on hunts with Jo!" He screams throwing me into the room.

I knew he would over react I just didn't think he would go full on fucking postal. I do the only thing I can think to do and slap him across the face. "How fucking dare you! I have been sitting at home waiting like a nervous wreck to hear from you and Sam everyday just to make sure you're alive! And what have you been doing while I sit at home? You're out hunting much more dangerous shit that Jo and I will be hunting! I have these horrible day dreams that you are dead in a ditch somewhere when apparently what you have been doing is coming to the Road House and fucking drunk bar sluts while Sammy hooks up with Jo! I am an adult Dean and if I want to hunt I am going to fucking hunt!"

He is shocked that I hit him and he stands there quiet for a minute. Sam walks up to him and starts to talk but Dean puts his hand up to silence his brother. "Get out!" He screams looking over at Jo and Sam. They both look at me and I nod. I can handle an enraged Dean better than most. They walk out the door and Sam mouths to me that he will be outside if I need him.

"Why didn't you call me and talk to me about this?" He asks me slightly calmer than he was a minute ago but I can tell he is still boiling.

I let out a sharp laugh. "Oh you mean like you asked me before you and Sam left me 3 months ago? I was just following your lead Dean." He closes his eyes for a moment acting like I hit him again. I can tell he is trying to get his thoughts together. "You should have called me regardless."

"Yeah and I bet you would have come back home and tried to talk me out of it. I haven't seen you in three months. Every time we talk you say you're too busy to come see me but I find you here hooking up with some girl when your supposedly to busy to come see me." I didn't realize I was so hurt until I started to feel the tears building behind my eyes.

The fire in his eyes burn out once he sees I am about to cry. He stomps his foot and gives me a hug. "Sorry I yelled." He says softly into my hair. "And for the record we have been busy. We finished a hunt near here and Jo needed us to come by."

"I need you guys to stop by too." I say pathetically.

Dean freezes for a moment. "You can't tell them I told you this because Sam will kill me. Jo made him promise not to tell anyone." I look up at him and shake my head in agreement. "We stopped by about 2 and half months ago on a way to a hunt and well a few days ago Jo called Sam in hysterics. She didn't realize she was pregnant and she was having a miscarriage. We had to come and see her."

My anger passes through my body. Poor Jo, poor Sam. "Is she alright?" He shakes his head yes. "She didn't know until she started to miscarry. She wanted Sam to come. He didn't sleep for two days before we got here. We are not avoiding you."

"I'm sorry I yelled at you too. And I'm sorry I didn't tell you that I was moving here and was going to start to hunting again."

Dean smiles at me and I know we are good. "It's alright, hey this makes it easier. Now we only have to stop at one place to see all our girls." I wish he meant our girls the way I want him too. "If you go on hunts you have to clear them with me too." I open my mouth to protest but he shakes his head firmly no. "I have been through way to much these last few months to have to worry about you Lara."

"What's going on?" I ask him. He hasn't told me much about what they have been hunting. He lets out a sigh. "We'll talk later. Let's go out there and let Sam know I am not in here chaining you to a radiator to make you stay put."

We head out and Sam and Jo are both standing in front of the doors like bouncers. When they see that we aren't fighting they both relax. "You good?" Sam asks both of us with his eyebrows raised. I shake my head yes and we head off to the bar.

Ellen is serving drinks and she runs around the bar to give me a quick hug. "Hey Lara! I am so glad to see you. We are in desperate need of a cook. You start tomorrow at 5." She has such a kind smile. I really like Ellen. "Are you going to stay with me tonight? Tomorrow we can get you girls set up in the apartment."

Dean shakes his head no to my surprise. "Sam and I are only in town for tonight and we need to catch up so she'll stay with us at our hotel. We'll help you guys set up the apartment tomorrow than we are headed out."

Ellen looks at Sam and Jo who are snuggled together at the bar. She looks a bit worried about them. "Just keep the girls safe." Ellen responds heading back to the bar.

We order a few drinks. Ellen is pretty lax on the age of drinking for hunters. Mostly because she knows well all have fake ids. Dean and I take a seat at the bar and it feels like old times. Jo and Sam come up between us. "Can I get the room key Dean?" Sam asks stumbling slightly. Dean hands him the keys to the room. "It's not far you guys can walk. We'll be behind you shortly."

They both head out all hands on each other. "How is Sam handling what you told me about?" I don't want Ellen to hear me because it sounds like they aren't telling anyone. Dean shrugs his shoulders. "He hasn't talked to me much about it. I think on one hand he is relived because he could not handle a kid right now. On the other hand I think he is really sad because I know deep down he wants a baby and a wife and a normal family."

The bar starts to close up and Ellen tells us goodbye. I leave my car here and get in the impala with Dean. I snuggle into the familiar leather and relax. "I have missed you baby." Dean laughs at me and we head to the hotel just a few blocks down the road. We get out of the car and as we reach the door we hear the sounds on the other side. We both take a step back and laugh and head back to the car.

"We can head back to Ellen's." I suggest. Dean shakes his head no. "I don't need her coming over and skinning Sam alive for sleeping with her daughter. You cool just sleeping in the car?" We have done it before. I don't mind it.

"Not a problem. I have missed the girl." I kick off my shoes and jacket then jump into the back seat and stretch out. I ball my jacket up like a pillow and lay down.

"Who says you get the comfy spot!" Dean jokes from the front seat. "You can come and join me in the comfy seat." I joke right back.

Dean gives me a serious look. I can tell he is torn between going into the back seat where the steering wheel won't be digging into his back and staying there. "Dean we have slept together since I was 5 years old. Get your ass back here."

He kicks off his shoes and takes off his jacket and joins me in the back seat. I move forward for him to slip in behind me. I give him my jacket and he stretches his arm out for me to use as a pillow while he uses my jacket. He drapes his jacket over us and we both relax. "How have you been sleeping?" He asks me moving my hair out of his mouth.

"Not good." Is all I say. I don't want him to feel guilty. It's not his fault, but I know he will blame himself for my nightmares. "Define not good."

I tense up and he rubs his hands up and down my arms. I don't want to remember them. They are so horrible but just the mention of sleep brings all the images back to my head. I don't mean to but before I can stop myself I feel tears going down my cheeks. Dean sits up and see's I'm crying. He rolls me over so my face is buried into his chest and just rubs my back and pets my hair. "It's alright I got you." He tells me over and over again until I fall asleep.

"Lara! Oh my god Lara! Wake up!" I hear from outside my mind. I want to push the voice away. It hurts. I hurt. "Lara wake up!" I feel my body being shook and finally I manage to open my eyes. It takes me a moment to realize where I am. I am in the back of the impala and Dean is petrified. The look on his face is enough to make me jump awake. I see Balthazar sitting in the front seat. He is hiding his true form and Dean can't see him. "You had a bad dream darling." Balthazar tells me from the front seat.

Dean is opening the door the car and carrying me out in his arms. I am not quite with it enough to know what is going on. Dean starts to kick the motel room door. "Sam let me!" He screams as he kicks the door.

There is a lot of movement behind the door and Sam finally opens the door in just a pair of boxers. Dean doesn't even take the time to acknowledge him as he brushes past Sam. Jo is in the bed wrapped up in a sheet but he just keeps moving to the bathroom. "Sam get my first aid kit." Dean yells back slamming the bathroom door.

I am not totally with it yet. I am still confused. I start to look down and I'm not understanding what I am seeing. "Dean?" I choke out. He stops what he is doing to look at me. "It's alright you are awake now." He reassures me. He turns on the bath and comes back to my arms.

They are small pin pricks all up and down the inside of my arms. That's when I notice that there is blood all over the front of Dean's pants. "Dean your bleeding!" I screech out. He shakes his head no and starts to help me out of my shirt. "It's all over your pants!"

He helps me stand and pulls my jeans down. That's when I see the blood is all over my jeans too. "It's coming from you Lara. I am going to get you cleaned up and I'm going to wash these wounds alright." There is a knock at the door and Dean rips it open. Sam throws in the first aid kit and Dean slams the door again.

Balthazar is standing in the corner of the small bathroom. "It's alright darling when he leaves I will heal you." Every morning Balthazar has to heal me.

"What happened in your dream Lara?" Dean lifts me and drops me in the water not bothering to take my bras and panties off. I try to remember but I just start panicking. I don't want to remember. "Shit." Dean mutters under his breath. I start to hyperventilate and I can't control my breathing. Dean kicks off his jeans and gets in the tub behind me. He pulls me into his chest and pets my hair. "Just breath Lara. Feel me breathing just take in a deep breath with me." I feel his chest expand with a breath behind me and I mimic him. "That's right now exhale." I exhale with him and we repeat the process until I calm down.

"I am going crazy Dean." I cry out as I turn around into the water to bury myself in his chest. "Every night this happens. I can't control it anymore."

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asks quietly. "I didn't want to worry you. I know you have a lot on your plate right now with Sam I just didn't want to add to it. I have always had nightmares. I can handle them."

Dean just keeps rubbing his hands up and down my arms and rubbing my back. I stay like this until my heart stops racing and I have full control over my body. Dean pulls the plug to the tub out and helps me dry off. He sanitizes the pin pricks on the inside of my arms. The demon last night likes heroine. The demon also liked anal. I think with a shudder. I won't let Dean help with that. Once he leaves I'll get Balthazar to heal me.

The rest of the morning everyone walks around me like I am glass. I hate when they treat me like that. It was a nightmare and I can handle it. Jo and I get the extra furniture her mom had for us into the apartment and we borrow a truck and head to IKEA for some other things we need while Sam and Dean are still here. We have a three bedroom apartment so we each get our own room and we have a guest room.

All day I have been avoiding the fact that Dean is leaving tonight. I want him with me. I want Sam with me too but dammit I am so fucking in love with Dean! Sam is saying goodbye to Jo in her room and Dean is waiting for Sam in the living room. "I will call every night I promise." He tells me without me asking him to promise. "Will you call me when you need me? Even if it's in the middle of the night?"

I shake my head yes. "Please take me with you guys." I beg quietly. Dean looks torn. He gives me a hug. "Lara I can't have you with us right now. There is too much going on. I promise you that as soon as I can I will have you back with me." He stops for a moment. "We'll be hunting again soon." For a moment I could trick myself that he misses me the way I miss him but he doesn't. He misses me like a hunting partner and a little sister.

"Ok just don't forget about me while you guys are out there."

He laughs and kisses the top of my head. "Lara I could no sooner forget a limb." Sam comes out of the room before I can respond and I can tell that they were talking about the baby. His eyes are slightly red and he looks sick about leaving. I give them both hugs and watch them walk out again.

a/n I hoped you all liked it. Please leave a review if you get a chance.


	34. Chapter 34

Dean's POV

I have really fucked up. Six months! It has been six months since I have seen Lara. She begged me to take her with us. She begged me not to leave her behind. I told her it wouldn't be that long and as soon as everything was figured out and fixed I would get her. But I abandoned her for six months. I know how horrible her dreams have been. Fuck the last time I saw her I woke up and she was bleeding through her jeans and through mine. When I finally changed and looked down I saw she bleed through to my boxers. And her arms that day. There were track marks riddling the inside of her elbows. I knew all of this and I left her.

The last six months have been no cake walk for me either. Everything has gone to shit and I am lost. I feel so alone in this because I can't put this on Sam. I can't let him know that dad told me to put him down if I need too. How can he ask me that? There are a few people that I would willingly kill or be killed for. That's Lara and Sam. Dad knows that so how could he ask me to kill Sam! I spent the first 12 years of that boy's life closer to his father than his brother. I raised him and I, just like dad couldn't kill me, can't kill Sammy. Then Sam drops the bomb on me. "There is demon blood in me." He tells me one day. If I didn't think I had enough to worry about my brother has psychic powers and did I mention he has demon blood in him!

Sam knows I'm stressed and has allowed me to indulge in my vices a little bit more. I want to drink till I pass out he doesn't say much. I want to hook up with some slut at the bar he doesn't say much. And thankfully he hasn't noticed or maybe he hasn't mentioned that he noticed that my taste in women has slightly narrowed in the past six months. It's narrowed to petite girls with dark hair and blue eyes when possible. There's been a few slip ups and normally the girls are drunk enough not to notice I call them by the wrong name but on a few occasions they have noticed that their names are surprisingly not Lara and I've been decked because of it. I really need to get a hold of that little issue. Usually if I see a girl I want I just go for it but I can't do that with her. She's a virgin, she's Bobby's niece, she's 8 years younger than me, she's one of my best friends no scratch that my best friend, and she thinks of me as her big brother.

It's been six months and my heart is pounding in anticipation. I've thought of her every day. I've thought of how her dark hair falls across her forehead and cascades down her back. Of how her eyes are wide and dark and remind me of the sapphires my dad gave her for her ears. I try not to think of how her hips sway and her breasts swell, I especially try not to think about that when I am alone in the shower.

In the time I have been gone she has become a hunters H.Q. satellite because Bobby will never give up the reins on that title. Hunters call her from all over to get help on hunts and to back up their stories. She has stayed true to her word and has called me about every hunt she has taken. When I have been able to I have taken some of the more dangerous hunts so she wouldn't go because it scared me to have her that kind of danger but I know she can handle herself just fine.

"Dean?" I shake my head a little and look over to the passenger seat almost shocked that someone interrupted my thought process. "Um Dean you plan on getting out of the car?" Sam prods at me.

"I'll get out of the car when I fucking feel like it." Sam throws his hands out and scrunches his face defensively. I didn't mean to jump down his throat I am just tired. "Sorry I'm just a bit edgy…bitch." I hate apologizing but I shouldn't have yelled at him. He has been through a lot too lately. He's just as exhausted and I know he has been near ecstatic to see Jo today. It's been six months for them too.

"Whatever jerk." Sam smirks at me as he jumps out of the car. He is practically skipping to the door. I can say a lot of shit about my brother but one thing I can't say is that boy isn't loyal. Him and Jo never officially said hey we're steady (wow am I in fifth grade?) but he hasn't cheated on her. If I was him I'd be worried my dick has stopped working.

I get out of the car behind him and follow him into the bar. I can hear my boots crunching on the gravel beneath them and for just a moment I want to turn around and run back to the car. I know we have talked every day but I'm worried she is going to throw a punch at me. She has gotten more distant and quiet on the phone every day. I don't know what I will do if she turns her back on me and asks me to leave.

Sam goes in first and he's like a missile searching out Jo. It doesn't take long for me to see him lock on to his target and run over to her. I scan the room for Lara as well. I don't see her. I need to see her. Dammit Dean get your shit together.

The door to the kitchen swings open and I can sense her before I see her. I turn slightly to watch her bringing food out on a tray. She's beautiful. No beautiful isn't the right word, it's too ordinary. Gorgeous is over used. Maybe stunning can fully encapsulate what I think and feel when I see her. I just keep staring at her unable to move. Any softness of childhood is now officially gone and there is a grown woman across the room from me. That's when I notice the purple that is marring her perfect face under her eyes. She's exhausted. She is walking with confidence balancing the tray on her arm that most people would say is executed with the grace of a dancer, but I know better, it's the fluidity of a damn deadly hunter. She is wearing an old ACDC shirt that is cut up to show off her midriff. I see a tattoo band just gracing the tops of her jeans. I'll need to see what that is about.

After she unloads her tray she puts it down to her side and lets out a sigh and looks up. Our eyes lock and for a moment I can't read her. Then her eyes lighten and her face softens and she drops the tray to the floor completely forgetting it. She runs at me and I don't even see the looks we are getting because she is running to me and smiling. All is forgiven, just not forgotten. She jumps up on me and wraps her legs around my waist and buries her face in my neck. I can feel her smiling into my neck but I can also feel her wet tears.

"Lara what's wrong?" I whisper into her hair so no one else can hear us. She doesn't respond and her legs and arms just clench tighter around me. "Come on baby what's wrong?" I ask her again. Her legs slowly loosen and her feet touch the ground again. She remains clutched on to me like she used to clutch on her to her rabbit Suzy when she was a kid. She slowly looks up at me and I can see her tears clinging to her lashes like she is clinging to me. Her mouth opens to speak but before can she can say anything there is a pair of arms pulling her from me.

"Lara!" Sam yells out as he grabs her and spins her around into a tight hug. I sometimes forget that she is his little sister in so many ways and he missed her as well. I think I hear her mutter Sam but she doesn't speak loudly.

Ellen comes out from behind the bar and puts her arm around Lara's shoulders. "Why don't you take a quick break and get these boys some dinner and catch up." She says cheerfully. Lara shakes her head yes and goes back into the kitchen picking up her discarded tray on the way. I can see all the eyes of the bar on us. There are a lot of men giving me envious looks right now. It definitely puts a cocky swagger to my walk.

Sam and I take a table near the kitchen door. Within a few minutes Jo has her hands filled with beers and she's bringing them to us at the table and she takes a seat next to Sam and rests her head on his shoulder. He turns his head slightly and kisses the top of her head while she intertwines her hands in his arms. He's different with her than he was with Jess. I think he still loves her the same amount but it's completely different. I don't know if I'm happy for him that he has been able to find someone else or angry at him for getting over Jess so easily. I know I would never have been able to get over Lara dying like that. Hold on a minute did I just say Lara? Fuck Dean you need to stop thinking like that. She doesn't like you like that.

Lara comes back out of the kitchen with a tray of food. She smiles at us but it doesn't reach her eyes. She puts down a salad and lasagna in front of Sam and a steak with a baked potato in front of me. She has a small plate of lasagna with a small side salad in front of her. "This looks great. When did the Roadhouse start serving real food?" Lara starts to blush but Jo smiles. "Lara has made quite a change in our menu. Mom has pretty much given her free reign over the kitchen and Lara makes a new menu almost every day. She felt that hunters still need to have a good home cooked every once in awhile."

I cut through my steak and take a bite. "It's great Lara. I can see why everyone likes it." Lara still hasn't spoken. It's like she is shy. She looks down at her plate and I can still see a slight blush making her cheeks pink. Jo continues to smile. "All the hunters have loved it… some more than others." She says looking out at some of the tables filled with men eating her food. Great so guys have been none stop hitting on her.

It wasn't as noticeable when she was moving but I can see that Lara is a bit shaky. Her hands are shaking just slightly has she holds her fork. She eats the salad slowly and when she gets to the lasagna she takes the fork to her mouth and it looks like she is fighting with herself to bring it to her mouth. She gets it to her lips before she drops the fork and puts her head down in her hands. Jo immediately forgets about Sam and moves closer to Lara and puts her arms around her shoulder and whispers into her ear. I look at Sam and he looks just as confused as I am. Lara shakes her head slowly and her hands stop shaking quite so violently. Jo looks up at me with a smile that is forced happiness. "Dean do you think you might want to swap your potato for Lara's lasagna?" I can tell by her tone of voice that she doesn't want me to read anything into it right now.

I shake my head yes and put my potato on an extra bread plate and pull her lasagna to me. I take a bit and let out a happy moan to tell Lara that I love how it tastes. She gives me a weak smile and slowly eats her potato. Now that it seems like the crisis is adverted Jo goes back to focusing on Sam and as soon as he's done they disappear. I know they are headed back to her apartment.

"I need to clean up some stuff in the kitchen then we can head over to my place." Lara says softly. It's the first thing she's said to me. I shake my head and she collects the plates and heads back to the kitchen. She comes back out a few minutes later with another plate. "I made apple pie this morning and I thought you might like it." The smile finally reaches her eyes and I relax just a bit. I needed to see her actually smile.

There is a bit of a commotion behind me and I hear two gruff voices. "Lara! Baby girl get over here!" They call out. I turn around to see two older rugged men. They remind me a lot of Bobby and dad. They both have salt and pepper beards and hats. I can immediately tell these men are hunters. I don't know how I feel about two hold hunters calling Lara baby girl. I'm also not sure how I feel about how fast she runs over to them and hugs them. She doesn't jump up and wrap her legs around them but I can tell she is happy to see them.

"Baby girl please tell me you got some of that lasagna tonight." The one to the left says. He's just a bit taller and a bit heaver than the man next to him. I can tell these men are brothers. They both have the same square jaw and blunt noses.

Lara shakes her head. "You know I make sure to have lasagna every Tuesday just to bribe you guys to come." Lara tilts to the one on the right. "I also have some apple pie for you too."

The man smiles and grabs her into another hug. "Oh my little chickadee we have missed you." These guys obviously know her and I know nothing about them. I don't like feeling out of the loop and I don't like that she made him my pie.

"Why don't you guys take a seat and I'll bring you both a plate. I am heading home in the next 30 minutes or so but you guys know where I live and I'll have the guest room ready for you." She tells them turning around and walking towards me. The guest room? They are that close? Lara stops at the table and puts her hand on my shoulder and squeezes it just a bit almost warning me to play nice. "Guys this is Dean. One of my oldest friends. Dean the guy to the left is Luke and the guy to the right is Rick. They are brothers." Luke is the guy who called her baby girl and likes lasagna and Rick is the guy who called her chickadee and likes my pie.

Lara lets go of my shoulders and the guys take a seat at the table with me. "So you're the famous Dean Winchester." Rick says to me grabbing a beer that Ellen put down on the table when they came in. I shake my head. "I can't say I have the pleasure of hearing of you though." I don't mean to sound like such as ass but I don't like these guys being so chummy with my Lara.

They both chuckle and Luke looks at me. "Lara said you were a tough sell sometimes. We meet her a few months ago here at the Roadhouse and we've ended up on some of the same hunts. Girl is good. I hear you trained her."

"Yea she came to me when she was 15 and made me teach her. She's lethal. We hunted together until about a year ago when my dad passed away." I don't feel the need to explain that further.

Both the brothers get a grim look on their face when I mention dad and Luke gives me a sad smile. "I heard about that. John was a good man we hunted with him a few times. We were sad to hear he passed. Thanks for not taking her with you by the way." I give them a confused look and Rick gives his brother a look like I would give Sammy when I want him to shut up. Luke just gives him a cocky grin and keeps talking. "Hunters talk Dean and you and your brother are in some serious shit. I feel better knowing baby girl isn't out there hunting Azazel."

I feel like I have been punched. "How do you guys know about that?" Rick looks around the room to see who is there and looks back at me. "Like he said hunters talk Dean. You need to be careful. I don't think anyone has figured it out yet about Sam but they are close." I push my chair back ready to attack them. They better not be threatening Sam. Rick shots his arm out and grabs me. I flick him off. "Lara loves you guys and because of that we trust you. Just sit down and calm down. I was giving you a friendly warning not a threat."

Luke shakes his head. "Like he said if Lara says you're cool you're cool with us. That's why we are telling you this. Don't let her know. It would cause her stress if she knew some hunters were after Sam." Before I can respond Lara comes out with two plates and puts them down in front of the men in front of me.

"I am going to take Dean back to my place and we are going to catch up. You guys have keys just come in whenever." Lara tells them grabbing me out of my chair and throwing on a leather jacket. Lara waves to everyone at the bar as we make our way out the door. I can feel the eyes of all her envious suitors boring holes in my back. I feel better once we are outside. I want to be able to talk to her without people around. I open my mouth to speak but Lara looks at me and shakes her head and moves to my side and wraps her arm around my waist and leans in. "We'll talk at home. I just want to enjoy the walk alright." I don't respond and we head to her place. I had only been there once before but I remember it.

Lara opens the door and I see that the place looks much more lived in from the one time I was there. There is an old leather couch in the middle of the living room with an easy boy recliner next to it. They have a large tv and behind that is the kitchen with a small table. Jo's room is the left of the living room and I can hear her and my brother. I don't want to think about what they are doing in there. Just some things I don't need to think about my brother doing. Lara's room is to the right and I know that the guest room she was speaking is next to her room. "Where do you want me to sleep tonight?" I ask her following her into the guest room. I see that they got two twin beds with a small night side table between them. There is an old dresser in there too. She turns on the lamp and puts a towel down on each bed.

"I was going to let you stay in our guest room but since they guys are visiting you can stay with me. Just like old times." She says with a slight smile. We head back out to her room and I drop my bag down at the end of her bed. She throws off her jacket and I'm reminded by the tattoo I saw around her waist. I reach out without thinking and trace the top of it. She stops and looks at me. "When did you get new ink?"

Lara smile brightens. I can tell she likes her tattoo. She unbuttons her jeans and pulls them down so I can see the entire design. It's a rosary that wraps around her hips and hugs low on her abdomen and trails right below her anti-possession tattoo that was fixed. The cross dangles down her left hip. Six of the beds on the rosary are colored in but the rest are open. "Why are some of the beads colored in?" I ask her fingering them.

"They are for the people who died." She points to the first one and follows up. "The first is for your mom, then my mom, then my dad, Jess, that guy Cole we meet at the faith healers, and your dad." She says softly. I grab her hand and smile.

"I love it. When did you get it done?" She pulls her jeans back up and buttons them and puts her jacket up in the closet. "I got it a few months ago when I got my tattoo fixed. I thought it would be another layer of protection and a nice memorial. I don't want one of those things in me again." I know she has dreamed about being possessed every night since she was a baby but actually being possessed affected her.

"So Rick and Luke?" I ask her hoping to find out more about them. Lara is picking some things up in her room and turning on her lap top. "I meet them at the Roadhouse a few days after you left and I ran into them on a few hunts. We just hit it off." I make a concerned face and she just laughs. "It's nothing romantic I just really like them and they let me tag along. They remind me of an older version of you and Sam." She says with a smile. "They stay with us when they come through just like a few other hunters. We have the extra space so why not use it."

I look down at my watch and I see it's near 1 am. "You ready for bed?" I ask as I dig through my bag to pull out some sleep pants. Lara shakes her head no and focuses on her computer. "You can go to sleep if you want but I have some guys to help out." She responds not looking back. I walk to the bathroom and change. I head to the kitchen to get a glass of water before heading back to her room.

The door to Jo's room creaks and Jo comes sneaking out wearing Sammy's tshirt. It looks ridiculous on her. It fits like a dress. "Oh you guys are back." She says with a slight blush opening the fridge and pulling out two beers.

"Yea but hey where are your cups?" I ask opening some of the cupboards. I am shocked to see that one of them is fully stocked with energy drinks of all kinds. There is a shelf of red bull, another of 5 hour energy, and another of amp. There are also a few bottles of Bee Alert on the shelf. It looks like a truck drivers emergency supply kit. I give Jo a confused look and she shuts the cupboard and opens another one and hands me a glass. "Those are Lara's. She doesn't like to sleep." She says leaving the room quickly before I can ask her more.

I get two glasses of water and head back to her room. I give her a glass and flop down on the bed. "So what's up with all the energy drinks Lara?" I ask her hoping she'll turn around and talk to me. Her fingers stop on the key board and she slowly swivels her chair towards me and I can see her face falling. "I don't want to sleep Dean. I'm going to finish these emails than we can talk alright." I shake my head knowing she won't talk to me unless she's ready anyways.

She has a small tv in her room and I find the remote on the night stand and I put it on and just channel surf for a bit. After about an hour I notice that I don't hear key strokes anymore. I look over and she has fallen asleep sitting up at the computer. I walk over quietly and pick her up and carry her back to the bed. I take off her shoes and put her under the covers and turn off the tv and the lights. After I get her comfortable I hear the front door open and I head to investigate. The brothers are coming through the door with duffels over their shoulders just like Sam and I do every night. I guess I can see how they remind her of us.

"Where's the girls?" Rick asks me. Before I can respond Jo yells out like some kind of porn star from her room. I feel like I don't need to explain that one. "Lara fell asleep." I respond casually.

The brothers give each other a glance and I see now why people get so frustrated when Sam and I have silent conversations. I cough and they both look at me. Luke then looks towards Lara's door. "She doesn't sleep often. We were just surprise that's all."

"Do you guys know what's up with all the energy drinks in the kitchen?" I hate having to ask them about Lara. There was a time when I there wasn't anything I didn't know about her. But that was before I left her for six months.

They both shake their head and Rick speaks up. "She tries to stay awake for as many days as she can. I think she once made it 5, but I'm not totally sure on that. She also tries to only sleep during the day. Something about it not being as scary. I don't get it to be honest. At first I thought being a hunter gave her nightmares but I have seen her take out monsters that normal people couldn't even imagine without blinking an eye and laughing about it over drinks later."

It's not my place to tell them about her dreams. If she wanted them to know she would have told them. So I stay silent. They drop their bags off in the guest room and we all meet up in the kitchen for a beer. We talk for about an hour about different hunts we've both been on and they even tell me everything they know about yellow eyes. I was a bit apprehensive about them but I think I could grow to like them.

The blood curdling scream fills the apartment like smoke. It creeps into every corner and the sound is almost deafening. It takes me a moment to realize it's Lara. We all jump out of our seats and run to her room. At the door the other men must realize I need to do this alone and don't try to come in. I hear Sam and Jo coming out of the room behind me both wrapped up in sheets and blankets obviously they were so worried they didn't even get dressed. I give them a look to stay put. Before I open the door there is another scream. I push through the door and for a moment I think I see a shadow of someone in the room with her but it must have been a trick of the light of her computer monitor.

I run to her side of the bed and am shocked by what I see. Her nose is bleeding and her soft normally lush lips are cracked and bleeding. I can see that her shoulder is dislocated and two of her fingers look broken even though they are pulling into gnarled tight balls. She lets out another scream and I run to her and try to shake her awake without hurting her shoulder. Lara doesn't wake up. She scrunches her face up in pain. "Please stop! Please just leave!" She screams out. A sound comes out of her mouth that isn't from her vocal cords in response. "Shut the fuck up six! I don't give a fuck what you want!"

There is a crunching sound and I see another finger breaking. Fuck I have to get her awake. I put pressure on her good shoulder and shake her harder. "Wake up Lara! Come on baby you need to wake up!"

With a gasp Lara's eyes fly open and she sits straight up. She tries to fight me off not knowing who I am yet. I catch her before she can hurt her fist by throwing it in my face and try to keep her shoulder stable. She sobs for a few moments then starts to realize where she is. "Dean?" She sobs out.

"Yeah it's me. You're safe I got you now." I respond trying to sound soothing as I rub her back. She lets out another sob and cries into my chest . I let her do what she needs to. We can talk about it once she is calm and I have a chance to fix her up. Why didn't she tell me it got this bad?

Time stopped having meaning and after awhile Lara's sobs slowed to hiccups and slowly from that just heavy breathing. Her nose has stopped bleeding and I don't think it's broken. "Let's get you cleaned up." I say softly standing up and helping her stand. She doesn't respond and just follows my lead.

When we exit her room everyone is sitting in the living room and they all look up as we exit. They all stifle screams of their own as they see the state of Lara's body. Rick and Luke stand up and for a moment I think they think I did this to her but Sam grabs one and Jo grabs the other. Lara buries her face into my chest and I lead her to the bathroom.

I start by cleaning the blood off her face. I dig through her first aid kit to find some rubbing alcohol to clean her lip with. Once I have all the blood cleaned up I take a deep breath to work on the hard stuff. "Lara I need to set your fingers and pop your shoulder back into place. Do you want alcohol?"

She shakes her head weakly no and I hold her shoulder. "On three, one, two.."and I push it back it in. I find it better to get it over with. She stifles a sob and I cradle her head with my hands and press it into my chest for a moment. "I know it hurts. I'm sorry."

Lara holds up her hand with the three broken fingers and I quickly put them back into place. When I am done I can see the exhaustion clearly on her face. "Why didn't you tell me it was getting this bad?" I thought before was bad but this is worse. I need to stop thinking we have reached the worst possible point because there is always something else just right around the bend.

She looks up at me and I feel like my heart is breaking. "I couldn't Dean. Not with everything you and Sammy have on your plates. I figured I could just wait it out till you guys were done. I try not to sleep and when I do I try to only sleep during the day. The chances of my body being out on a mission during the day is rarer."

"What about your body?" Lara clams up like she said something wrong and she starts to shake again. I can see the internal struggle she is fighting right now if she should tell me what she knows. I grab her good and look her in the eyes. "What is going on Lara?"

Her eyes start to tear up again and she looks nervous. "Dean I haven't been totally honest with you." She starts then takes a moment. "Dean these dreams are real. Just not here and now. It is an alternate reality where I got taken as a child and put in one of the body farms. It is happening Dean just not on this plane. Somewhere out there my body is being whored out to demons."

I don't think she could have told me anything that shocked me more. Even if she said she was being abducted by aliens. "What makes you think that?" I ask her slowly trying to figure out the best way to go about this conversation.

"It… it…it just is Dean. I can't explain it so please don't ask. It just it. You have to believe me." I grab her into a hug. "I believe you no matter what Lara. What can I do to help?"

She doesn't respond for a while. "There isn't anything you can do. I just have to not sleep at night and when I do need sleep I need to wake up every hour or so until I can figure something out." I stand up and help her to her feet. "Come on then. Let's go watch some movies until morning then we can see about getting you some sleep."

Lara smiles weakly at me and then winces when her lips crack. "I have all the Halloween movies if you want." She responds. I kiss the top of her head. "Sounds like a plan."

a/n I hope you are all still enjoying this story! Try to review if you have a chance it motivates me to post faster


	35. Chapter 35

Lara's POV

Sleep. It should be a simple thing. All humans do it easily every night. All over the world people go to sleep when they are tired at night and wake up in the morning well rested. Then there is me. Sleep is the most terrifying horrible experience of my life. Every night I try to fight it off. I fight it like I am fighting a demon. I try to sleep only every few days and even then only during the day time. Usually I am not out on a mission during the daytime but it happens. Sometimes I am. Sometimes just being in the cell is enough to destroy me.

"I'm not waking her up. You can wait till she's awake." I hear Dean tell someone through my sleep induced haze. I can't hear the other person's response but I hear Dean again. "She has been asleep 8 hours and she needs more." Then the door to my room shuts.

I move over and flinch at the pain in my shoulder. I raise my hand up to my shoulder and my fingers scream out in pain. What the hell is going on? Oh shit. Last night comes flooding back to me. The broken fingers, the dislocated shoulder, the almost broken nose, the split lip. I am used to Balthazar fixing me every time I wake up. It's been awhile since I have had to actually feel the consequences of one of my dreams. "Dean." I croak out through my dry throat.

He turns around quickly and runs to my side of the bed. "Hey you are awake. How are you feeling?" He asks me while handing me a bottle of water. I take a deep gulp and let the water coat my parched throat.

"I feel much better. I slept really well." I say giving him a meek smile. He runs his hands through my hair moving my bangs out of the way. "Good, you went to bed around 6 am and it's 2 pm now. I woke you up every two hours or so. You slept fine." He tries to reassure me.

I stand up and stretch popping my shoulder just a bit. "I am going to run to the bathroom real quick." I tell him heading to the bathroom. Sam and Jo are on the couch cuddled up watching a movie and Rick and Luke are sitting at the table. I wave at them all and I know they want to talk but I keep going to the bathroom.

The moment the door closes I hear the flap of wings. I turn around and Balthazar grabs me into a hug. "I am so sorry. I tried to heal you before Dean came in but he was too fast." He mumbles quickly trying to apologize for something that isn't his fault. "I can heal you now."

I shake my head no in his chest. "You can't, if you do they will notice. There is another sound of flapping behind me and I twist around quickly and see another angel in the room. This one isn't in a vessel but he is controlling his true form. I know for experience that angels' true forms are huge. Uncle Cas used to show me his to make me laugh has a child. I give Balthazar a scared look and he smiles at me. "Sweet heart you may not remember him well but this is Michael. He thinks he can help your dream problem."

Since Balthazar seems to trust him I relax just a bit. "I have not seen you in many years my child. I have been told that you are suffering greatly. I cannot totally alleviate your pain but I can make it more tolerable. My brother Gabriel and I discussed it and we believe that I can create a partition in your mind that will allow you to know that your dreams aren't real…"

I start to interrupt him. "But they are real. They are happening."

"No child they are real for her not for you. You should not be experiencing them. Those moments are her path not yours. I cannot completely erase them but I can make them feel less real. As long as you do not cross paths with her you should be alright. If you meet someone from this life there is a chance that your brain will have a hard time realizing it's not real but the chances of meeting up with someone are slim to none. Will you allow me to help?" I like that he asks unlike Zachariah who would just do. I shake my head yes and he gently places his hands on my head. It doesn't hurt but it feels a bit uncomfortable like someone is digging though my brain. When he is done he smiles at me.

"Why are you in your true form?" I ask him slightly confused. Usually angels come to me in their vessels.

Michael looks at Balthazar than back at me. "Unlike most of my brothers I am too powerful to go into just any vessel. Like Gabriel and Raphael I need a special person to be able to contain me. Anyone else and I would basically liquefy their brain. Castiel may only have one true vessel but if he inhabits someone else for a short time he will not damage them where I would destroy them."

"What about Balthazar?" I ask. Balthazar chuckles. "I am a special case. My vessel died a few years ago and I was able to take over him during his transition. I am one of the few angels who actually is there vessel. I don't have to share with the man who lived here and I am not robbing him of anything."

"Now you need to go back out there before they all start to worry." Michael says almost pushing me out of the bathroom. I give them a hug and leave the bathroom. When I leave the bathroom everyone crowds me checking over my most recent battle wounds but I push them off.

"I am fine. No need to worry. Dean got me all patched up last night." I tell them all trying to get them to stop hovering over me like a broken doll. Dean comes out of the bedroom and I give him a pleading look. He sighs and puts his hands up. "Come on guys stop crowding her." They all step back and I feel like I can breathe again.

I head into the kitchen and start to pull things out of the fridge to make lunch for everyone. I really enjoy cooking even if it's what I do for a living now. After lunch Rick and Luke head off. They said they were just stopping by in town for the night before their next hunt. I hug them both and wish them well. They promise they will be back soon and that they will take me with them next time.

Ellen calls Jo and me and tells us to take the next few nights off. She knows how much we missed the Winchesters and she wants us to be happy. Sam and Jo head and out for the evening and Dean and I stay in. Dean and I get situated on the couch and I throw in a movie. "So do you want to talk about last night?" Dean asks me turning down the movie.

I really don't but I know I have too. "Not really." He gives me his best impression of Sam's bitch face and I sigh. "Fine I just don't know what else to say. I know you probably don't believe me but those dreams are of me. It's just not the me you know. It's a me that is kidnapped has a child and forced into a demon body farm. That is why they are so real. When I sleep it's like I step into her shoes."

Dean doesn't respond for a minute. I can tell he is shifting through all the information I just gave him. "If you tell me that's what you believe than I believe you. But I have some more questions. First of all why didn't you tell me how bad it had gotten? Why did you start shaking at dinner last night when you tried to eat? And are you doing drugs?

My eyes bug out. "Drugs?!" I shout at him. Dean tries to calm me down. "Yes drugs. I saw the kitchen I know you are using energy drinks and bee alert to stay awake so are you using drugs? You are so shaky all the time so it's a reasonable question."

I have the uncontrollable urge to hit him but I restrain myself. "No I am not doing drugs. I just drink and eat has much caffeine as possible to keep me awake. I try to keep myself from sleeping at any cost and that is why I am so shaky. When I come down off the caffeine and I start to get tired I shake. And the lasagna was freaking me out. I have had a hard time eating meat the last few weeks. In one of my dreams the demon was eating humans and I can't stop thinking how it tasted and felt in my mouth. And I didn't tell you because I know you had enough on your plate with Sammy and the demon to bother you with more."

He looks sad. Like I should have told him regardless. But I couldn't put more on him. "You know you can tell me anything right? No matter what. You come first Lara not some demon." He leans over and caresses my cheek. "You and Sammy are all I have left and you need to tell me when things are getting bad so I can fix them."

I smile at him. "I think things are going to get better Dean." He smiles back at me. I can tell he is relieved that I seem positive. "And why is that?"

"Just a feeling." I say with a shrug and focus back on the movie.

Sam's POV

Lara is going to kill me. I can imagine how she will do it too. With a gun because that is just how she rolls. Fuck I am a dead man! I think her last words to me when we left them a few weeks ago was take care of yourself and take care of Dean since he won't take care of himself. And what do I do? I let him get taken. Shit! FUCK!

If I thought she was mad the last time I called her from prison and told her we meant to get caught then I don't know what the term for her wrath will be time. Maybe enraged? No needs more power. She will be filled with a furious rage that will cause death and destruction to my person. Yeah maybe that is the way to describe how she will react.

Well I can't put this off much longer. The longer I wait to get her help the more risk Dean is in. I pick up my phone and I hit her number. It takes all of my will power not to hang up and hide in a corner. Lara shouldn't scare me. She is like a foot shorter than me and I can bench press more than she weighs but dammit I know how mad that girl can get. And I am not dumb enough to see that she is head over heels in love with Dean. And he is with her for that matter if he would get his head out of his ass.

"Hello, what's up Sam?" Lara asks on the other end. I take a deep breath. "I need you to come to Illinois."

There is a long pause on the other side of the phone. "And why is that Sammy?" She asks me. I can tell her curiosity is piqued.

"Um I may have lost Dean and I need help finding him before a djinn kills him." I spit out quickly. There is a moment of silence and a deep breath on the other side.

"Please tell me that Dean didn't get taken by a djinn Sammy." Lara practically begs. "I am sorry Lara but he did. I need your help."

"DAMMIT SAMMY! Do you have any fucking clue what djinns do to you?" She yells in to the phone. I wince. Dammit if I'm wincing now what the hell will I do when she is in my face. "Um actually I was kind of hoping you could fill me in on that. I was doing research and Dean was looking for the thing before he was taken. We weren't sure what we were looking for and I kind of figured it out but I still don't know that much about them."

"You fucking idiots! You went out looking for something without knowing what it was or what it could do! When I get there I am going to kick both your asses! Djinns put their victims to sleep by making them live out their wishes so they are content to just stay there while they drain them of their blood. It seems like a full life to them when in reality it's just a few days." She screams at me.

Well that doesn't seem so bad. I mean compared to what these creatures normally do. "So how long do we have? You know to find him?" I can hear Lara throwing her shit together and I bet she is already in her car already. "A few days maybe a week max. I will be there in a few hours. I need you to research every abandoned building within a 50 mile radius and we are going to go find your idiot brother unless of course he doesn't want to leave his little fantasy world that is no doubt strippers feeding him pie in a beer factory somewhere."

I don't mean to chuckle but that is kind of a funny scene. "Don't you fucking laugh Sammy! You get to fucking work and I'll be there in a few hours." And she shuts her phone off. I can imagine her slamming it down on her chair like it is poisonous right now. I also know she is probably turning up her music to loud to help calm her down just like Dean would do.

I pull out a map and my lap top and get to work. I need to figure how where he could be and have a list of possible spots before Lara gets here in the morning or she will kill me for sure. I wonder what his fantasy world will be? I have feeling it's not strippers and beer anymore.


	36. Chapter 36

Dean's POV

What the fuck! I sit up straight in bed and I can feel my heart pounding. It was just about to get me. No wait scratch that it did get me. I immediately start to do a mental check of my body. I don't think I'm injured. I look down quickly and it looks like I am fine. I'm just sitting up naked in bed. Wait I'm naked in bed? And this sure as hell isn't some roach motel this looks like a nice house. I can tell because the sheets are scratching my ass up!

I look over in the bed next to me and there is a girl with dark brown hair that is almost black sprawled out naked beside me. Her face is in her pillow so I can't see who she is but she is definitely naked and, I lift up the sheet, has one hell of an ass. I think with a smirk. Ok Winchester focus. Where are you and what is going on? I get out of bed trying to be quiet as possible so I don't wake the naked sleeping girl next to me. I throw on my sleeping pants and a tshirt that are in a pile next to the bed. So I must be staying here if my sleeping clothes are on the floor and not my jeans and tshirt. I notice that the girl's clothes are thrown all over the room. I must have been excited.

I don't recognize the house but I recognize some of my things. There are some of my shirts and pants on the floor. I head out of the bedroom and into a hallway. That's when I realize I am upstairs. I pass closed doors and head down the stairs that opens to a living room. The kitchen behind it seems a bit torn up. Maybe it's under construction? My leather jacket is on the couch and I see my car keys on a table near the door. I dig through the pockets of my jacket until I find my phone. I flip through my contacts until I find Sam's number. I know I should call Lara but Sam was with me when whatever the fuck happened, happened. I hit call and wait for him to pick up.

It only takes three rings. "Dean? Are you alright? It's like 3 in the fucking morning." Sam says into the phone. It's obvious I woke him up.

"Um Sam where are you? What the hell happened?" I hiss into the phone. I hear a woman on the other side. "Is that Jo? "I ask.

Sam starts to laugh. "Are you drunk Dean? Who the hell is Jo? I am at home. Is child bride there? "

"Who?"

Sam doesn't laugh but gets really serious. "Dean put Lara on the phone." I don't say anything back. I don't know where Lara is. "Dean I am serious get Lara."

There is a sound on the stairs and I turn around quickly ready to attack whoever is in the house with me. I relax slightly when I see Lara coming down the stairs. She's wrapped in a dark blue silk robe and her hair is sex tousled. Wait a minute that is the girl from my bed. Lara was naked in bed with me?! "Dean?" She asks me sounding exhausted.

"Put me on the phone with Lara now Dean!" Sam shouts into the phone. I don't say anything and just hand the phone over. Lara takes it and gives me a quick chaste kiss on the lips.

"Hey Samsquatch, what's going on?" I don't hear what he is saying to her but she keeps responding with alrights and ok and yeas. After a few minutes she hangs up the phone and hands it back to me. "Are you having another episode honey?" She asks grabbing my hand and dragging me to the couch.

I follow her and I sit down next to her. She pulls my head to her chest and runs her hands through my hair. "What's going on Lara?" I ask her completely confused and a bit overwhelmed.

Lara leans down and kisses the top of my head. "Honey for the last few months, since your dad died you have been having these episodes. Your therapist thinks it's your way of dealing with your dad's death. You wake up and you seem to forget where you are and you think some creature is after you. Usually after a few hours you relax and everything comes back to you."

"Since dad died?" I ask turning around to look up at her. She lowers down and kisses me softly. "Yeah honey since your dad died. Come on let's get back to bed. We both have work tomorrow." I let her guide me back to what is our room I guess and she drops her robe and I can't stop staring at her naked body. I can see even in this light that I have left some love bites on her awesome body. She smiles at me and slightly blushes. "What?" She asks me getting back under the sheets.

"Nothing, you are just so beautiful." I say throwing off my shirt and getting into bed next to her. I pull her into me and she relaxes into my chest. "Come on babe we need to get some sleep." She yawns to me. I pull her to me tighter.

"Do you need me to wake you every few hours?" I ask kissing the top of her head. She looks up at me with a confused look. "No why would you?" Her hands darts out and caresses the side of my face. I grab her hand and bring it to my face. There is an engagement and wedding band on her finger. I look down at my hand and there is a metal wedding band on my finger too.

"Um no reason. Let's just get some sleep." I say letting go of her hand. What the hell is going on? This makes no sense. What was I even hunting before I woke up here?

The sun wakes me up the next morning. That and Lara shaking me awake. "Come on Dean it's time to get up." I slowly open my eyes and take her in. She is in blue garage coveralls. They are hung low and tied around her hips. Her crisp white wife beater tucked into them. God I want her right now. Dammit Dean it's still squirt regardless of whatever world you just woke up in.

"Um Lara I hate to ask but where are you going and where do I work?" I feel ridiculous asking this but she made it seem last night that this is a regular occurrence. She frowns slightly. "I am going to work at the garage and you have to get your ass down to the bank." She flings a suit onto the bed.

"Wait you work at a garage and I work at a bank? A fucking bank?" She smiles at me and kisses my forehead.

"Yes honey I work at a garage. Remember I started working at the garage with your dad and moved in with your mom and dad. And you are my little paper pusher. I never thought I would end up with a number junkie." She says with a wink. It's like a second set of memoires starts to flood my brain. It hits all at once and I can't process them. I will have to think them through later. "Mom?" I ask my voice shaking.

"Yes you're mom. Which I am meeting for lunch today. I am going to change her oil and we're going out to lunch for her birthday. We are also going to go over the tile selections for the kitchen. Don't forget that we are going out with Sam and Jess tonight for your mom's birthday." She says it so nonchalantly but she just turned my world upside down. Mom is alive!

Lara turns around to head downstairs. "Wait Lara!" I scream out. She turns around and smiles at me. "What happened to dad?" She stops smiling and I don't think she is going to tell me. I can tell she was close to him as well. "Please Lara just remind me."

"He was in an accident. You both were driving back to his house after a night out together. You were driving when a drunk driver hit you and killed your dad instantly. You were in a coma for a few days. It was the worst few days of my life. I thought I had lost you." She says quietly. I quickly jump out of the bed and grab her in a tight hug and kiss her softly. "You can't lose me."

She smiles at me and kisses me again. "Get dressed and I'll have your breakfast ready by the time you are down." The memories come back and I remember that she had been sick on Friday and missed work. She was also not feeling great Saturday and we spent all day in bed watching horror movies. Yesterday she felt fine and we spent all afternoon and evening making love in our bed. Wow I am making love to Lara on a regular basis.

I put on the suit begrudgingly. She said I work at a bank. That seems ridiculous. But memoires start to flood me. In high school I was like a math genius or something. I went to college and even went to business school. I graduated top of my class and I make a good salary and have a really comfortable life. It's like a whole other set of skills just flooded my brain.

I head down stairs and Lara is pouring coffee in a mug for me. "Why is our kitchen all torn up?" I ask. She chuckles to herself. "Don't think I am going to let your memory lapse rob me of the kitchen you promised me." I can remember it now. This was my house from before we meet. She always said it was a bachelor's kitchen and she convinced me to build her a new one so she could really bake.

Lara hands me a plate with toaster strudel on it. "This is my breakfast?" I ask with a huge smile. She chuckles and stands up on her toes and gives me a sultry kiss. She tugs on my bottom lip with her teeth slightly and goes back down on her feet. "You know it's the closet things to pie I let you eat for breakfast. And since my kitchen is a mess it's the only think I can make."

I can't help but let my shit eating grin take over my entire face. "You are the best wife like ever. Do I tell you that enough?" Lara laughs and pours herself a cup of coffee. "Aren't you going to eat?" I ask her stuffing my face with toaster goodness.

Lara lowers her hands to her stomach and shakes her head. "I am not feeling great this morning. I just don't feel hungry. But are you doing better?" She asks me. I shake my head yes. "Ok just a small test. How did we meet?"

I open my mouth to say that I meet her when she was five years old but new memories come to the surface. "Um, well… You moved here and started working at my dad's garage. I was away on business when you came then I had a vacation so I didn't meet you until you had been here a month. Mom told me that she and dad had a young woman staying with them and I thought you were taking advantage of them. Then I meet you at the house and it was love at first sight." I can see it. I drive up to the house I am bit apprehensive to meet this girl that is taking advantage of my parents. I walk in like I own the place and she is helping my mom set the table. She looks so sad and lonely but she is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She turns around and blushes when she sees me. I end up staying at home that night just to spend more time with her.

That gets a smile at out of Lara. "See honey it's coming back to you. Have a good day at work and when we get back from your mom's party I'll try to jog your memory on some other things." She says seductively.

Before I can think I spit out. "Where are Bobby and Karen?" All the seduction flees her eyes and she goes still. "I'm sorry I wasn't thinking." I spit out quickly trying to back track.

Lara puts her hand to my lips. "No it's alright. I know these mornings are hard on you, they are just hard on me too." I remember now. Bobby and Karen are her parents. They died in a house fire during the summer she graduated. That is how she ended up down here. She fled the memoires and stopped where the money ran out which happened to be Lawrence Kansas. Dad gave her a job because he felt bad for her then he realized she had mad skills at engines. Her father, Bobby, was a mechanic and she grew up with cars. She had nowhere to go and mom insisted she stay with them until she got on her feet. She had my family in the palm of her hands long before she had my heart. I now remember all the nights I have held her crying while she mourns for the loss of her parents. They were a close family and she felt lost for months without them. She just wandered the states and by a fluke ended up here. She says I was the one that put her back together but I tell her she's the one that made me whole.

I reach and grab her before she can leave and kiss her passionately. "I am sorry Lara." I mutter into her lips. I feel her smile into my kiss. "I know, I love you Dean." Then she grabs her keys and heads out of the house.

The drive to work is beyond strange. My conscious mind has no clue where I am going but there is a part of me that is propelling me forward. I just follow my instincts and it takes me where I need to go. I walk in through the front door and just follow my feet to my office. I notice a middle aged woman sitting at a desk in front of a door that is marked Dean Winchester. "Good morning Mr. Winchester! Is Mrs. Winchester feeling better?" I remember now that she called me from work and I left early on Friday.

I smile at the lady and shake my head yes. "She feels much better. Must just be a flu bug or something." She smiles at me and I head into my office and sit down. I look around the room and I am completely overwhelmed. I have an idea of what I am supposed to be doing but I am too confused to really delve in to it.

My desk is filled with things that I only vaguely remember. There is a picture of Lara and I on vacation somewhere and another one just of her. There is a phone on my desk and I decide pick it up and dial Sam's number. I am glad that hasn't changed at least. He answers in a few rings. "Hey Dean everything better today?" I take in deep breath and let out a long sigh. "That bad huh?"

"Yea Sammy it's not great. Everything is kind of blended together and I'm really confused." I hate having to admit my weakness to him but I'm really out of my depth right now. "Did talking to child bride help at all?" He asks.

"Who?" I don't get these weird nick names. Sam lets out laugh on his side of the phone. "Lara Dean, you know I call her child bride and she calls me Samsquatch." Once he says it I can actually kind of remember it.

"Why do you call her child bride?" I ask rubbing the bridge of my nose with my pointer finger and thumb. I can feel a headache coming on.

Sam laughs again and I can actually see the face he would be giving me if he was sitting in front of me. "I call her that because she was a child bride Dean. She was 17 when she started working for dad and you meet her when she was still 17. I think she told she was older though. Within a month of her turning 18, and two months of you both meeting, you took her to Vegas and eloped."

"I DID WHAT?!" I scream into the phone. The middle aged lady who I assume is my secretary turns around and raises her eye brow at me. I shake my head telling her I am fine and she goes back to her work.

"That what we said actually." Sam says with a mocking laugh. "You guys said it was love at first sight and I think the term soul mates has been dropped here and there. You both said you saw no point in waiting for the inevitable so you eloped. Mom made you guys renew your vows at a church shortly after though."

I can't believe what I am hearing. "So I married a 17 year old?" I choke out. Sam chuckles. "No Dean she was 18 when you guys got married. It was perfectly legal. I can't say if your first time was though…"

I just don't want to think about that right now. "Open your right desk door Dean. Lara has a picture book in there for mornings where you are confused. It usually helps." I open the drawer just as he said and I see a photo book. I pull it out and flip through the photos. It looks like a wonderful life. Pictures of growing up with Sammy, mom and dad, my graduation, a dog I don't quite remember, Lara and me, our ridiculous wedding photo complete with Elvis impersonator, even some current photos obviously at a recent holiday. I remember everything once I see them. This is crazy. "Listen Dean I got to go. Jess and I are just home for a few days and I need to do some stuff. I'll see you tonight?"

"Yea Sammy of course. Thanks."

"Your welcome." Sam replies and he hangs up the phone.

The photo book holds a lifetime of memoires that I kind of remember. It's really crazy. Yesterday I went to sleep and I was Dean the hunter then today I wake up and I'm Dean a normal guy. What the fuck is going on?

The morning drags on and I try to tap into my new memoires to figure out what to do at work. I seem to tap into something because before I know it I am doing work I don't even actually know how to do. At 1 pm my cell phone starts to ring and I pick it up. It says MOM in the caller id. MOM! I pick it up. "Mom? Christo." I whisper at the end.

She doesn't respond to that. "Oh honey I need you to meet me at the hospital." She says quickly I can tell she is nervous. "What's wrong mom?" I ask standing up. I throw my jacket on and grab my keys getting ready to run out the door.

"It's Lara honey. I was over getting my oil changed before lunch and she passed out. We couldn't get her awake at first and Caleb called the ambulance. We are on our way over. She is awake now but has a nasty cut and bump on her head. Just meet us there alright." I can hear Lara in the background and mom hangs up.

I look back at my secretary. "Hey Lara just got admitted to the hospital I am out." I don't give her time to respond and I run to my car. Thank god my baby made it to this world. I drive to the hospital in a daze and I know I am ignoring all kinds of traffic laws, but to be honest I dare a cop to pull me over right now. Lara is hurt. I park in the lot and run into the hospital.

It doesn't take long for the nurses to direct me to the emergency room where Lara is laying in bed in a triage room. I run to her and grab her hand kissing her forehead. "What's wrong babe? Are you alright." I ask running my free hand through her hair. She snuggles into me and shakes her head. "I think I am fine but we'll find out."

There is movement behind me and I turn around to be faced with a woman I haven't seen in 24 years. "Mom?" I choke out. She closes the space between us and gives me a tight hug. "Yes honey I am here. We just got in and they have drawn some blood and we should know soon."

I don't want to let go. I have missed her so much. "Thanks mom." I feel stupid I should say more but I can't. I feel tears building up behind my eyes. She whispers into my ear. "It's ok honey Lara told me about your episode last night. You are usually happy to see me after one." I shake my head and she kisses my forehead.

"You can go home if you want. I'll call you once we know what is going on. Don't you have a party to be getting ready for?" I tell her. She just laughs. "I will see you both later if you are feeling better. And call my once you know.'

Once mom leaves I take a seat next to Lara and grab her hand. She drifts off to sleep and I notice how tired she looks. I don't remember her looking this tired this morning. She looks so young and mortal laying in the hospital bed with an IV bag going into her arm.

I lose track of time and after awhile a young man in a white coat comes into our room. "Good afternoon Mr. and Mrs. Winchester. I am Dr. Reed I was the one to admit your wife. I have some test results here to go over with you. Do you want your husband in the room?"

Lara tenses up and squeezes my hand tightly and shakes her head yes. The doctor moves closer to the bed. "No need to be worried." He reassures her. A nurse comes in with a cart of equipment that I don't recognize. "Mrs. Winchester the reason you haven't been feeling well lately is that you are pregnant."

The rest of what he says blurs and all I can focus on is what he just said. Lara is pregnant. I can't seem to grasp that. I wake up in this world and Lara is my wife and she is pregnant. It's Lara squeezing my hand that brings me back to. I notice that I have a huge grin on my face. Lara is smiling at me too. "We're pregnant Dean." She says softly and puts our hands over her stomach. "We're going to have a baby." She says happily.

Come to find out the machine in the room is an ultrasound. While the nurse starts it up the doctor explains that Lara passed out because she wasn't eating enough and she is slightly anemic. He doesn't want her to go to work for a week and to just rest. She also needs to start eating more and taking vitamins. The ultra sound is finally ready and the doctor starts to check her abdomen. "Well this is a happy surprise." The doctor says. Lara and I both steal a worried glance. "Looks like twins!"

"Twins?" I say quietly looking at the screen to Lara's stomach. I can tell by the look on her face she is shocked, but in a good way, not in a demon jumped on me way. "You are about 2 months along and yes twins." The doctor prints out a couple copies of the pictures and gives them to us.

"I'll get the discharge papers and we can get you on your way home Mrs. Winchester." The doctor says leaving the room. Lara and I just stare at each other. After a few minutes we both break out into grins and I lean over and kiss her softly.

"Twins." We both say to each other and smile. After another 30 minutes an orderly shows up at the room with a wheel chair. "Do I have to do Dean?" Lara moans has I help her into the chair.

"Hospital policy sweetheart." I respond following behind them down to the lobby. I get her in the car and drive carefully to our home. I have three very precious passengers in the car with me right now. When we get home I run to her side of the car and open the door. I whisk her off her feet and Lara laughs. "What are you doing Dean?" She asks laughing while I carry her to our front door and open it.

"The doctor said you needed rest honey." I reply carrying her up the stairs to our room and laying her down on the bed. "Do you want to rest before dinner tonight? I think we totally have Sammy beat on mom's gift btw."

Lara laughs and gets under the covers. "I am actually really tired. Can you wake me up in two hours?" I shake my head yes and kiss her leaving her to rest. I go downstairs and really look at our home. The main floor is filled with family photos. How did I not see these last night? Is this real or am I losing my mind?

Mom calls while Lara is sleeping and I tell her that Lara is doing fine and we'll talk about it tonight at dinner. I go around the house trying to remember everything for the rest of the afternoon. Around 5 I go back upstairs to wake Lara up.

I slip into our bedroom and she her curled up in a ball on my side of the bed. She sleeps the same here as in the other world. All balled up and I know she likes to cuddle into me. I sit on the side of the bed and move the hair out of face and lean down and kiss her temple. She lets out a happy moan and slowly opens her eyes. "How are you feeling?" I ask.

Lara smiles and sits up and stretches. "I feel a lot better. So boss is it ok if I take a few days off work?" She asks me mischievously. I guess my face gives my confusion away. She laughs and kisses me softly while getting out of the bed. "When your dad passed away he left us the garage. I told you I just wanted to do the fun stuff like getting dirty in an engine not run the place. So you kept Caleb on and moved him up to operations manager and you are technically all of our bosses."

I follow her into the bathroom and kiss her shoulders while she slips off her robe to get into the shower. "You can have has much time off as you want. Do you want to stay home with the kids?" I don't know if we have talked about this before.

"I really don't know Dean. This happened kind of suddenly. We weren't exactly expecting kids I mean we weren't careful about it obviously but we weren't trying. Can we just see how it goes?" I shake my head yes and leave her alone to shower. Has much as I want to join her I can't seem to force myself. To the stronger part of my mind she is still squirt. The little girl that I have known since she was 5 years old.

We are the last to arrive at dinner and I am glad to see Sammy. He looks normal. Well not quite normal. He looks to happy to be normal. I give Jess a bone crushing hug. I have forgotten how much I missed her. Jess gives me a look and I know she must know about my episodes too. We all sit down and we look over the menu. No one seems to notice when we are all drinking champagne that Lara is sipping on ginger ale. I drop some holy water in the champagne bottle and no one seems to react. That's a good sign. At least I know demons are involved in whatever is going on in my head.

At the end of dinner when they bring out a cake for Mom's birthday we all hand her our presents. Mom opens Sam and Jess' first and leans over to give them both and hug and kiss when she sees that they got her a plane ticket to come visit them in California along with a day trip to a local spa. Lara and I are humming with excitement as we hand over our small package to mom.

Mom rips the paper slowly and pulls the present out slowly. She looks at it for a moment slightly confused then I see realization dawn on her face. She pulls the framed picture of our twins to her chest. "I am having grandbabies?!" She squeals out in excitement. Mom jumps out of the seat and runs over to Lara and gives her a tight hug and a kiss. I am glad to see that the silver on the frame doesn't burn her hands.

"Yes Dean and I found out today we are having twins." I can hear everyone around me congratulating me but there is a strange figure standing there stiffly at the edge of the room. I stand up and start to move over to her when Sam grabs my arm. I break eye contact from the girl for just a moment and when I look back she's gone. That was strange.

"Dean! Wow man congrats!" He gives me a tight hug and moves over to Lara. "Wow Lara babies having babies!" That gets him a playful punch in the arm.

Lara looks over at Jess and winks. "And I can only imagine how much fun Jess is going to have when Samsquatch decides to procreate." Sam laughs and we all finish our desert and ride home.

A part of me wants to stay at moms and hang out with Sam, Jess, and Mom but another part of me just wants to get home and get Lara to bed. I guess that part wins out. She was just in the hospital today for exhaustion.

On the drive home Lara keeps giving me sultry glances and reaching over and touching me softly all over. I pull the car into the driveway and all but run into the house after her. Whatever hang ups I had about being with her a few hours ago are quickly dissipating.

The moment I get in the house Lara grabs me and pushes me up against the door and starts an assault on lips. She grabs at my jacket and pulls it off and starts to loosen my tie. I reach to take off her tight blue dress that I have been dreaming about sliding off her shoulders all night but she stops me. "Not yet. I am not going to be able to wear this dress much longer…" She says with a wink.

Lara must be some kind of magician because before I know what is going on my tie is off my shirt is unbuttoned and my pants and boxers are down around my ankles. Lara is wrapped around me and it doesn't take me long to realize she isn't wearing any panties. "I want you now Dean." She moans into my ear.

God that is hot. Memories of being with her over the past 2 years flood my mind and I am harder than I thought possible. I quickly spin us around and hold her up against the door while she wraps her legs tighter around me. It feels like I have done this every night for the past two years but it also feels like the first time. I can't keep up with my emotions and I finally give myself over to them fully and plunge into her. She feels like I always dreamed she would. She feels like I belong in her. "Dean!" She screams throwing her head back into the door. I ravage her neck while I pound in and out of her.

It comes to an end to soon for me and we are both spent clinging to each other panting like we just ran a marathon. I tap into the last reserves of my energy and walk us over to the couch and lay down putting her on top of me. I kiss the top of her head and she cuddles into my further kissing my bare chest. "I love you Lara." I say into her head.

She kisses my chest one more time and looks up at me. "I love you too Dean." Then she lays her head back down on my chest.

a/n soooo…..what did you think?


	37. Chapter 37

Dean's POV

Every morning for five months now I have woken up and I have known where I am. I am in bed with Lara, my wife, my currently very pregnant wife. I have done every test I know how to do and no one is possessed or any other kind of supernatural creature. They are all just normal. This is my life. My other set of memories of some world where I am hunter are still there but they are secondary memories now and all the ones associated with my real life are my primary memories. My therapist says that's good and has reduced some of the medications I am on. He thinks that some of my memory problems stemmed from dad dying and some stem from the coma I was in. I must have had some lingering brain damage. I still see that weird girl sometimes but my therapist said it's still just my brain healing.

Having mom in my life is amazing. I can't believe even in my messed up brain I imagined her as dead. Not only dead but killed by a demon in Sam's nursery when he was a baby. What the fuck is wrong with me? She is just too great. When I think of this fake world I made up to deal with my coma I feel the need to just hug her. I went most of my fake life without her. She is going to stay with Lara and me for the first few weeks after the twins are born to give Lara a hand. Lara is so nervous about having our first child, well children, and my mom has promised to help her with it. I know Lara wishes her mom Karen was here to help her but my mom is trying to help as much as possible. She has also helped Lara finish off the kitchen, baby proof the house, and set up the nursery. Her and Lara get along so well. A lot of my friends tell me how their wives and their moms hate each other. Something about mother in laws being horrible but they are great together. Lara even calls her mom. I just like having her around.

Apparently a lot of my friends from work and my social life thought Lara and I would never last. They thought we just got together on a whim and the passion would run out. They are dead wrong. Every time I see her I want her more and more. Her friends thought the same thing apparently. She kept in contact with some of her high school friends and they all thought she lost her mind when she ran off to Vegas and married me. But some of them have visited over the years and three of them came just last month to spend a week with us. They all go to Kansas State and came to spend spring break with us. No one questions us anymore and they know we are going to last. Lara told me her friends liked me a lot and I joked with her they just like that I can buy them alcohol. I know one of her guy friends has a crush on her but I can tell that he knows it's not going to ever happen. I know in high school he had liked her and that last time he came to visit he kind of flirted with her a bit even though Lara denied in vehemently but this time he just knew he had no chance. Probably helped a bit that when he showed up she was literally barefoot and pregnant and in the kitchen. I know it made her happy to have her friends come and visit and well I will do just about anything to put a smile on her face even if it is entertain 20 year old college co eds for a week.

My primary memories are of her now. The night we meet changed my life. I remember the feeling like someone jump started my heart when I saw her for the first time. I made up some ridiculous reason to spend the night at home just to spend more time with her. Long after my parents went to bed we stayed up on the couch just talking. It soon turned to secret dates. I didn't know she was 17 at the time. She lied and told me she was 19. I knew dad was fiercely protective over her and had seen him scare of potential clients that were ogling her. So I was a bit nervous to let him know I was dating her. he knew my track record and I knew he would beat the shit out of me for even thinking about looking at Lara. Mom and dad had always wanted a daughter and they had found on in her.

On her 18th birthday I took her out to a nice dinner and we went back to my place. She told my parents that she was going out with some friends and would be staying at a girl's house that night. I could tell she was nervous about something but I was too. I had only known her for a month but I just knew. I knew she was it for me. This girl is my soul mate. I have never really seriously dated a girl. I mostly just fucked around with whoever was on hand but I know with her it's different. We hadn't even made love yet and I knew she was the last girl I ever wanted to be with. We get back to my house and I ordered a cake and I had a bottle of champagne on ice. I had two dozen red roses on the kitchen table waiting for her.

_"Are these for me Dean?" Lara asks me bringing her hands up to her chest and smiling. I come up behind her and wrap my arms around her and kiss her neck. "They are for you baby." She runs over to them and lifts the vase and inhales deeply._

_ "They are beautiful Dean." _

_ I can feel my hands shaking a bit but I know this is right. I feel for the box in my pocket and I grab her hands and get on one knee in front of her. "I know we have only known each other for a month Lara but I know you are it for me. I love you so much I can't believe I haven't known you my entire life. Will you marry me?"_

_ To my surprise Lara breaks out into sobs. I jump up and pull her to me. "I am sorry this is too soon. I am really sorry." I feel Lara shaking her head against my chest. "That's not it Dean." She mumbles into my chest._

_ I pull back and look into her sad blue eyes. "What's wrong love?" I ask her wiping the tears from her eyes. She turns into my hands and kisses them. God I love how her lips feel on my skin._

_ "I have to tell you something. If you decide you can't love me I will understand." She is so nervous I can feel her shaking beneath me. "There is nothing you could tell me that would make me love you any less than I do at this moment."_

_ Lara looks up at me and takes in a deep breath. "I lied to you. I am not 19 and this isn't my 20__th__ birthday. I was 17 when we meet and I just turned 18 today. I just liked you so much and I thought you wouldn't want me if you knew how young I was." She starts sobbing again and I pull her into me. _

_ I kiss the top of her head and wait for her to calm down a bit. "Is that it? I don't care Lara. I love you and you're my soul mate. Age doesn't matter. You sure you don't mind that I am so much older than you?" _

_ Lara's head jumps up and her eyes are wide. "I love you more than anything in this world Dean. And yes I will marry you." I pull the ring out of the box and I slip the ring on her finger. _

We made love for the first time that night in our bed. It was the most incredible night of my life. We were nervous to tell my parents and decided to just elope before we told anyone. Mom, dad, Sam, and Jess were all shocked since they didn't even know we were dating but after seeing us together they realized we were truly in love. A lot of people thought we would never last but we knew better. We knew we were each other's heart and soul.

Sam and Jess are moving to Chicago soon for Sam to start with his law firm which is good because he is going to be a bit closer. They are going to be getting married this summer. I can't believe the crazy shit I have dreamt up for him too. Demon blood really? I must have had more brain damage than the doctors could even imagine. Lara and he are close because he spent the summer at home when she moved in. I love listening to them banter on the phone. It's so carefree. He is so excited to be an uncle and him and Jess plan on coming once the babies are born. I swear once a week they are mailing us some package of baby stuff they found.

The nursery is really coming along nicely. Lara wants the twins to share a room until they are older. We found out that we are having a girl and a boy. We fought over names for a long time but we are naming them Alexander and Alexandra. We know it's a bit strange but we really like it. Alexander's nice name will be Alex and Alexandra's nickname will be Lexi. I am trying to get the last crib put together so Lara can come in a put on the finishing touches to the room. We still have 2 months to go but the doctor warned us that with twins they sometimes come early. So mom and Lara have been shopping like crazy. We already have a month's supply of diapers stacked up, baby wipes, clothes, hell even bottles.

"Dean!" I hear Lara calling from our bedroom. Recently Lara stopped working. The twins are heavy and her back has been killing her. She might go back to work for a few days a week after they are born but she's not sure yet. At first she was determined to go back to work but the first time she felt them kick she looked at me and said. "I don't think I can leave them." I knew what she meant and I haven't asked since. I don't want to pressure her one way or the other. Even though I love the idea of coming home from work every day and having Lara and the kids waiting for me, I don't want that if that's not what she wants to do. I am glad that I make enough that she doesn't have to go back to work if she doesn't want to. I jump off the floor and run to our bathroom. I had drawn her bath a while ago trying to ease some of the pain in her lower back. I get into the bathroom and she gives me a smile and shrugs her shoulder. "I can't get out Dean." She says with a laugh.

"I got you don't worry." I tell her coming around behind her at the bath. I put my arms under her legs and start to lift her out. "Dean you are going to get soaked!" Lara squeals out laughing.

I kiss her neck and place her on her feet next to me. I wrap my arms around her and pull her into me soaking the rest of my clothes. "I don't mind." I tell her while I start to kiss her lips. I start to move down her jaw towards her neck and I give it a slight nip. She shudders beneath me and grabs me as close as she can with our babies between us. I reach behind her and pull a towel up around her shoulder and start to dry her off.

Once she is dry I wrap her in a towel and pick her up again and carry her to our bed. I place her down gently and sit behind her and start to rub her shoulder and back. "How are you feeling?" I ask placing soft kisses her shoulder blades. She moans as I rub a knot in her shoulder and leans into me.

"I am feeling alright just a bit sore. I am honestly ready to just have them already." I keep rubbing her shoulders and try to relieve some of the pressure on her lower back. She is petite to begin with and even one kid was going to be hard on her body so I can only imagine what two kids must feel like.

She seems to have relaxed and I move out from behind her and let her lay down on her back. She lets out a slight sigh of relief has all the pressure on her lower body releases into the bed. "I love you so much Dean." She tells me quietly. Her eyes are slightly hooded and I know she is totally relaxed.

I lean over and cover her making sure to keep myself off of her body and I kiss her. "Are you sure you want me right now? I'm huge!" She says with a laugh. I chuckle and kiss down her neck to her collar bone and move down to the towel that I slowly unwrap. I place a kiss on her stomach. "You're not huge you are pregnant. And to be honest it's kind of hot that I know I knocked you up."

Lara chuckles and I continue to kiss her. I can't believe that in my mind she was some girl I meet when she was five and I thought we could never be together. We are perfect together. I move to Lara's side and help her roll on to her side as well. I make slow and passionate love to her and she reacts in a way that just makes me want to love her more.

When we are done we lay there for a few minutes. My arms wrapped around her while we relax in post sex bliss. "Dean?" Lara asks. I mumble some kind of intelligible response. "I am really hungry." She says with a laugh.

I jump up and throw my jeans back on. "Why don't you wait here. What do you want?" I ask her. Lara smiles at me and I throw her a tshirt. "I can get it."

I lean over and kiss her. "Yes you can but I don't want you to. So what do you want?" She puts one of my old tshirts and I put some pillows behind her a back and she lays back into them. "Peanut butter and banana sandwich and a glass of milk. OH and chips." She stops for a minute than looks back up at me. "Also a pickle!" I laugh and head downstairs.

On the top of the stairs I am faced with that girl. She looks worse every time I see her. "Who are you?!" I scream at her. The girl doesn't respond and I hear Lara waddling up behind me. I turn around to see Lara and by the time I look back the girl is gone. Lara puts a comforting hand on my shoulder. "Was it that girl again?" I can tell she is worried.

I grab her hand and shake my head. "Lay back in bed and I'll be back with your food in a moment." Lara squeezes my shoulder and I hear her go back to bed. I take the stairs with shaky legs. I always get a bit off when I see that girl.

Lara was right we did need a new kitchen and I love the one that she and mom designed. I get her snack together quickly and before I leave the kitchen I hear her screaming frantically. "DEAN PLEASE DEAN WAKE UP!" I leave the food on the counter and run to the bottom of the stairs. "Lara are you alright?" I yell up the stairs."

"Yeah Dean I am fine." She responds. She doesn't sound frantic or anything. I put her snack on a tray and head back upstairs. Before I get to the door I hear her again. "OH GOD DEAN PLEASE WAKE UP!"

I run to the door and burst through it but Lara is sitting up calmly in bed reading one of the baby books. I put the tray down on the bed and I move back and lean against the wall my arms shaking. It sounded like she was terrified. "Dean what's wrong?" Lara asks looking up from her book.

How do I tell her that I am hearing things now too? Not only am I seeing things but I am hearing things. How can she want to make a baby with me? I shake my head and stumble into our bathroom. I just want to splash some cold water on my face. I get to the sink and I splash my face with water and I look in the mirror. Yep looks like me. Well a happy well adjusted me but still me. I don't know why but my eyes are drawn to the light hanging above the sink. It's like I get stuck in a trance.

When I am able to move my head again I let out a shriek. I am in a dirty room with bodies hanging up around me. I take a step back and the trance is broken. Then I hear her again. "Please Dean don't die on me. I need you Dean! I need you!" I hear Lara sob. I run back into the bedroom but Lara is just sitting there eating her sandwich drinking her milk.

She turns her head and her face pales when she sees me. She jumps out of the bed and runs to me and puts her hands on my face. "Dean honey what is wrong?" I can hear the fear in her voice.

"I don't… it's… I'm not sure." I fumble over my words but she doesn't let go. Then it's like my mind separates and I'm looking at Lara but not my pregnant Lara. This is the Lara from the world my mind made up. She is crying in front of me shaking me. "Please Dean wake up." She turns her head and I see her talking to someone else. "Sam help me get him down."

Lara lips on mine bring me back to her. "Dean don't do this." She begs. What is talking about? Don't do what? The walls of the room start to flicker and I see the abandoned warehouse and it starts to come back to me. I was hunting a djinn and it jumped me.

"This isn't real is it?" I practically sob out. I don't want this world to be fake. I am happy. My wife's eyes fill with tears. "Please Dean don't do this."

I look over and that girl from my visions is tied up next to me and I think she is dead. There are other bodies around me and I can tell they are drained of their blood. Lara is sawing at the ropes that are holding my hands above my head. Then it's gone. "This has all been fake!" I scream out trying to come to terms with the last 5 months of my life.

Lara shakes her head no. "It hasn't been fake Dean. It's been real to you. Please stop fighting this. Stay here with me. Stay here with our babies."

"BUT THIS ISN'T REAL!" I shout out. I can see the tears flowing out of my wife's eyes. I haven't made her cry once in five months. "You're right but this is better than reality. In your world Sam is miserable, Jess is dead, your mom is dead, I am just your friend. Here Dean you can see Sam be happy and marry Jess. Your mom is a major part of your life and you have me. We have us here Dean don't leave that."

I think about what she is saying. "It's not real Lara. You aren't real. I have to go back." I feel like I am breaking her heart even though I am starting to realize this is all just some dream world I wished into existence

"Dean if you leave here you won't have me anymore. Don't you want to see our babies grow up?" She is practically begging me. I can't look her in the eyes right now. "Our babies aren't real." I say sadly.

Lara grabs my hands and pulls them to her stomach and I feel our twins kicking happily against my hands. "They are real enough." She responds. I look around the walls flicker again and I see the warehouse. For a moment Lara flickers out and I am faced with my Lara again. She is pressed up against me and trying to lower my body to the ground. I can see the tears pouring down her eyes has she takes the knife to the ropes. "I'm here Dean just wake up." She whispers to me. Then I am back in our room.

"I am dying if I stay here Lara."

"You may be dying but in here we will have a full life. We will have our children, more if you want. We will see them grow up and we will grow old together. This is your chance to live your dream life. Wouldn't you rather spend your life with me?" She asks pulling me to her lips. She kisses me passionately and I try to take a step back but she grabs me. "But you aren't real! You are part of my mind!"

"You're right I am better than real. I am the perfect woman for you." She grabs my hands and places them on her breasts. "Don't I feel the way you always imagined?" She kisses me running her tongue over my lips. "Don't I taste the way you always dreamed I would?" She rubs herself against me. "Don't I smell amazing like you always hoped I would when I lay next to you in our bed every night? When you are in me doesn't it feel like I was made for you? Think of your top 10 sexual encounters before you came here and tell me they haven't been all blown out of the water by the time we have spent together here. I am made to be your perfect woman Dean."

Dammit everything she is saying is true but it's not real. The room starts to shake and I hear Lara screaming again. "Come on Dean just try! Don't do this to me! Don't you give up! I need you to come back!" She screams at me. That Lara needs me too. I have been with her since she was 5 years old.

I pull away from Lara and walk into the nursery. I touch the cribs that I put together and I look over the beautiful room we put together for our twins. The walls are light green and Alex's side is all baby animals and Lexi's side is all butterflies. It is such a whimsical nursery. "Don't you want to meet them Dean? Our babies are going to be here so soon. We can raise them together." Lara tells me putting her arms around me. I grab a screw driver and try to conceal it and turn around.

I grab Lara and I kiss her. "I love you so much Lara. These last few months have been amazing and all I want to do is stay here with you and our babies." I lean down and I kiss her again. Probably for the last time in my life. I am so glad that right before this I had her again. These five months in my mind will have to be enough. They will have to last me a lifetime. "But Lara needs me." I say shoving the screw driver into my heart. I heard somewhere once that if you die in a dream you wake up. I can only hope that is true.

"Dean!" Lara screams out has I open my eyes slowly. I am really confused and I fall forward slightly and she catches me holding all of my weight. "Be careful!" She gives me a confused looks and I respond back. "The babies." Wait that's not real anymore.

"What are you talking about?" She asks. Before I can respond I feel a hand pulling me back. I am faced with the djinn. Sam pulls him off me and gets flung into the wall. I am too weak to fight him and I fall down on my knees. The djinn starts to attack Sam and Lara reacts quickly. She has a knife in her hand and she flings it at the djinn. It lands right in his heart. Sam immediately slams the knife home and twists it. The djinn dies quickly and I feel myself losing consciousness.

Lara is at my side in a second. "I got you Dean. Just lean on me." She tells me has she gets me to my feet. "Holy shit Sam. That girl is alive!" She yells out. I manage to see the girl they are taking about. She is the girl from my visions. I don't know what happens after that because I pass out.

a/n if you get a chance review and it might just help me post faster!


	38. Chapter 38

Lara's POV

Last night was not easy. I finally got here and after two days of searching we found the abandoned warehouse that the djinn was holding Dean in. Every minute he was gone I knew I could be just a minute to late to be able to bring him back. Djinns can make their victims live for awhile or they can just binge drink through them and we had no clue which type this one was! For a moment I thought he was dead. He wasn't moving and his skin had a sickly gray pallor to it. Then I saw his chest move. It just moved a little has he breathed in and I knew he was alive. I went to work. I had to save him like I know he has saved me numerous times.

The ropes were so tightly tied that his hands were almost purple. I can only imagine how sore they are right now. It's going to be a few days before he really has full use of his hands again and probably longer before the cuts finally heal around his wrists. I tried to get him back but he was too far under. I have read stories about djinn victims that liked the wish world that the djinn created for them and they refused to come back. For a few moments I thought that Dean wasn't going to come back. Then he opened his eyes. He opened his eyes and looked right at me and I knew he was back.

I have no clue what he was taking about being careful and babies. I will get him to talk about it once he wakes up. He passed out pretty quickly after waking up from lack of blood. Sam managed to help me get Dean out of there and we called 911 once we left so that they would come get the girl.

Dean needed blood badly and we have the same blood type. Sam tried to fight me on it but I knew he needed blood to survive and we couldn't go to the hospital. Especially not with the FBI still looking for them after they escaped prison a few months ago. To make Sammy happy I promised not to give him too much blood just enough that he will hopefully wake up a bit sooner. So once I got dizzy he pulled out the needle and gave me some orange juice and an iron supplement. He had a burger on hand as well. I already had my pjs on so I didn't have to worry about trying to move once I was done with the donation. Dean didn't wake up once last night.

I drifted off to sleep around 3 am ok so maybe I passed out but hell I had just given up more blood than the red cross could legally take from me. I can tell its morning because the light is coming in through the curtains and I heard Sam get up a little bit ago to get us some breakfast since he knew Dean and I wouldn't be in any condition to drive when we got up.

There is movement behind me but I don't feel like moving yet myself. Dean's hand comes around my waist and starts to trace lines over my stomach. Maybe he isn't awake. With this free hand he moves the hair off my neck and he nuzzles and kisses it softly moving slowly down my shoulder. "Good morning baby." His voice is dripping with lust but it is still sleepy. I don't think he is fully aware yet. I have wanted this for so long that I am not ready to stop him. I can always pretend I was still asleep.

Dean's hand starts to move up and under my black tank top to my breasts. For a moment I tense up. The last time someone touched me like this it was Matt and I was tied down. But I shake off those memoires. This is Dean. He would never hurt me like that. His hands feel so good on me. I can't help myself when a moan escapes my lips has his warm calloused hands cover my breast and starts to massage them. I should put a stop to this. He obviously doesn't know it's me and I don't know how much longer I can pretend that I wasn't aware either. I don't have the djinn excuse. But I have wanted this for so long dammit. He must feel me tensing up because he kisses my shoulder again. "Just relax baby I got you."

I lean into him and just let my emotions take control. Fuck what should I do? I want this so badly. I have been in love with him for so long. I can pretend I was still in a state of sleep and thought this was a dream. I don't care anymore. He continues to caresses my breasts and I seem to have lost control of my body has I move against him. I can feel him digging into my back.

His hand starts to trail down my chest past my belly button. He slips his hand down my shorts and underneath my panties. I should stop this. His fingers slowly slip into me. "God baby you are so tight." He whispers into my ear. I have to stop this. He will regret this if I don't. I take in a deep breath and roll over on to my back. His fingers haven't let me and I wish I could just let them stay there and that I could ride whatever amazing orgasm I guarantee he is about to give me. His eyes are still slightly shut and I can tell he isn't quite with me right now. I look up at him and try to make contact with his eyes but he is kind of glossed over. "Dean?" I ask quietly.

I can see the change in his eyes. First he smiles then he opens his eyes. His eyes grow wide and for a moment they are completely glazed over like he doesn't know where he is or who he is. Then comes the Dean I know. Shame, disgust, and embarrassment flood his eyes and his hands quickly leave my body. "Oh god Lara I am so sorry!" He cries out pushing away from me.

For a moment I don't move. Not quite sure what I should do. Then I can tell he is about to lose it. I jump up quickly and put my arms around him. "It's ok Dean. It's ok." I tell him over and over again. He shakes his head no against my chest and he tries to push me off of him but I tighten my grip. "It's alright Dean you have been through a lot."

"It's not alright Lara. Not to you. You have been through too much for me molest you in your sleep like that. I am so sorry." I have never heard him so upset before. He really thinks he took advantage of me. "I was just so confused when I woke up. I thought it was back in that other world and I had a wife there and I thought you were her. It won't happen again I am so sorry."

He had a wife there. In his dream world he had a wife. I feel like my heart is breaking but I keep myself together for him and kiss the top of his head. "Don't worry about it. I can only imagine how crazy all of this is for you. How long did you think you were there for?"

"Five months Lara. How long was I actually gone?" He asks looking up at me hoping I have all the answers for his confusion. "3 days."

His face falls and I can tell he is having a hard time coming to terms with that. "What happened there Dean?" I want to know even though it will break my heart. He shakes his head. "I'm not ready to talk about it ok?"

I shake my head. "Just tell me when you can alright." I notice Dean is slipping again. The blood loss is too much for him and his eyes slowly shut. I should have woken him up sooner. He is not going to handle this well. How can my body be so disgusting to him that he has a panic attack? His body is the most amazing thing I have ever seen and all I want to do is touch it and be touched by him. Stop it Lara. You are going down a dangerous path. You just have to accept that you are nothing more than his little sister. I saw the shame in his eyes when he looked up at me and realized what he had done.

Sammy comes back a few minutes later, thank god he didn't come back 10 minutes before. He smiles at me and I get up quietly and dig into the egg mcmuffin he got me. I take a quick shower and Dean still isn't awake yet when I am done.

After another hour Dean starts to move and I motion for Sam to leave. I don't think Dean will talk to me if Sam is the room with us for this conversation. Sam leaves the room quietly and Dean stretches out in the bed and slowly sits up looking around. He looks so confused. I jump up and bring him his coffee and sit next to him on the old mattress. "How you feeling Dean?"

He looks around the room and his eyes focus back on me but he still seems a bit out of it. He takes the coffee and drinks it. "I guess I am back aren't I?"

"Back?" I ask has I take his empty coffee cup and put it down on the night side table. He shakes his head and rubs the sheets. "The sheets they are what give it away. They are scratchy as hell."

I smile and get up and walk over to the table that Sammy left breakfast at. I grab the bottle of water and pick up his breakfast and take it back to the bed. "You lost a lot of blood Dean. You need to eat and rest."

He doesn't fight me and takes the breakfast I offer him and eats it quickly. I can tell he is still hungry and we are going to need to stop somewhere to get him more food. Three days is a long time to go without food. I reach across him for the bottle of water and he grabs my arm and brushes his fingers over the needle mark on the inside of my elbow. "You needed blood Dean." He starts to open his mouth but I chuckle. "Before you start to fight me you know you would have done the same thing for me. Hell you have done the same thing. Just the perks of your hunting partner having the same blood type. Just take it and say thank you."

His face reddens and he drops my arm. "Thank you Lara." I smile and pat his leg. "That's better Dean."

He sits there quietly for a few minutes and I can tell when the memoires of this morning come to him. "Oh god Lara I am so sorry about this morning!" I shake my head no. "No Lara it was really out of line I was just so confused and I am so sorry."

"Dean." I grab his chin and make him look at me. "You have nothing to be sorry for. We were both still asleep and you were confused. It was an honest mistake. Do you want to talk about it now?" I ask him.

He shakes his head no. "Not really." I smile and drop my hand. "I know you don't want to but you need to talk about it. I have done some research on djinn's Dean I know that they try to lull you into submission by creating a dream world around you so that you don't want to leave. Some victims can't leave the world even if they are rescued because they prefer it. So you need to talk to me about it. It's either me or Sammy and I have feeling you'd rather talk to me."

Dean stands up out of the bed and digs through his duffel bag that has been there for three days acting as a reminder that he was missing and pulls out a pair of clean jeans and a tshirt. "Let me shower and then we can talk." I shake my head in agreement and I hear him jump in the shower. I don't know what I would have done if he didn't want to wake up. It would have killed me.

The bathroom door opens and a wall of steam escapes ahead of Dean. He looks at himself in the mirror and looks at the cuts on his neck where the djinn was stealing his blood. He turns around and sits on the bed opposite me. "What do you want to know?"

I grab his knee with my left hand and give him a reassuring squeeze. "Dean what did you see there? To be honest my bet is on you owned a beer factory and hot girls feed you pie."

Dean looks up at me and starts to laugh. "No that's not what happened at all." I smile at him and he looks down at my hand almost studying it and goes quiet for a moment. "It was really beautiful. I was really happy there."

I can see the pain on his face. He was happy there. "My mom was alive, she had never died. Sam and I grew up with her and dad. It was a completely normal life. I even went to college can you believe that?" He asks me. I smile at him and get up and sit next to him on the other bed and put my arm around his shoulders.

"Dad was dead though but he died of normal causes. He and I were having dinner one night and on our way back we got hit by a drunk driver. He died instantly and I was in a coma for a few days. That is how everyone convinced me that world was real. They said that it was due to brain damage caused during the accident. That I made up some other world for some reason in my mind while I was in a coma. Sam and Jess were engaged and they were moving to Chicago for him to start at a law firm." He seems so happy talking about them.

"You said you were married." Dean looks at me and for a moment I swear I see his heart break. He shakes his head slowly. "Do you want to tell me about it?"

He takes in a deep breath and exhales slowly. "I am… was…married to the most amazing woman I have ever known. She is gorgeous and funny. The total package you know." He has gone somewhere else I know he is thinking about her. This perfect woman. My heart starts to ache. He loved this woman no I can tell by the look in his eyes that he loves this woman. "I woke up in bed with her. I didn't know where I was and I was so confused. She sat me down and explained everything. She is pregnant. We are having twins. I was working on the nursery. I thought I was married and having twins for 5 months." He is about to break. I squeeze his shoulders and pull him to me.

My heart is shattering. All I could think of was him this entire time. I was so afraid this djinn would take him away from me and I would lose him forever. This entire time he was with his dream girl and I wasn't even a blip on his radar. Dean doesn't cry but he just sits there for a few minutes completely lost. "You did a brave thing coming back than Dean. It sounds wonderful."

"It was wonderful. I thought about staying for a moment. She told me we could have our life there. She promised me everything. I just couldn't."

"Why couldn't you?" I ask him. Dean pulls back and looks at me. "It wasn't real in the end." He jumps up and goes to his bag and starts to through stuff in it.

"Was I there?" I ask him.

Dean stands up straight and looks at me his eyes darken for a minute and I see he is battling something internally. "You were there." Before I can ask anything else he starts back up. "You worked at my dad's garage. Bobby and Karen were your parents but they passed away. You traveled around the states until you ended up in Lawrence and started working for my dad."

Wow I really don't matter to him do I? Sam and Jess have this dream life in his world and I am just some lost charity case. If that was my dream world I would have woken up and Dean would have been my husband and my life would have been perfect. Not him I'm just some girl that parents passed away and worked at his dads shop. I can feel the tears starting to build behind my eyes.

"Can I join you guys yet?" I ask hopefully. I want to be back with them. Dean shakes his head no. "Give me one more month. I need one more month to finish this and I can't be worried about you while I do."

I stand up and grab my bag off the floor. "Don't worry I will make sure not to worry you." I snap at him and I run out of the hotel room. I don't want him to see me crying. I run into Sam outside the door and he tries to stop me.

"Lara where are you going?" He yells after me. I turn around and he stops in his tracks when he sees the tears running down my face. "I gotta go Sammy. Love you." Then I jump into my bug and drive away.

After a mile I pull over and start to sob. I am so stupid. How could I ever expect him to want me? I am his squirt. I am his little sister. I am just someone for him to worry about. No I'm not even that. In a world that he wished into existence I am just some orphaned girl that works at his dad's shop. I am not important. The atmosphere in the car changes and I roll into Balthazar who I know is sitting in the car next to me now. He rubs my head and kisses my forehead. "It's ok darling. Just let it out."

When I am done I pull back and wipe my eyes. I feel a bit dizzy. "Do you think you can heal me? I gave Dean some of my blood last night." He smiles and puts his hand on my head and I feel my body refilling. "Will you go to a bar with me tonight and get wasted?"

Balthazar chuckles and shakes his head. "If that is what you want. What has you so upset?" I don't want to tell him but I need to talk about it. It feels like it is killing me. "Dean." I sob out.

I look out the window and I see a storm coming. I want to be where ever we are going before that hits. "I love him Balthazar and he will never love me the way I love him." He sighs next to me and puts a hand on my shoulder. "I am sorry you feel that way dear. Life is strange sometimes. Just have faith."

I smile at him and put turn the car back on. I go a few miles and pull into the seediest bar I can find. I stop the car and he shakes his head at me and gets out with me. I know I can get has wasted as I want because he won't let anything happen to me. I just want to get so drunk I don't think about how Dean's perfect world is being married to some other girl while I am a lonely orphan.

a/n thank for all the great reviews last chapter! I am glad you all liked it. If it's not too much trouble let me know how you liked this chapter!


	39. Chapter 39

Sam's POV

Lara made me leave the room so Dean would talk to her. I know he won't get emotional and talk about his feelings if I am in the room so I leave once he wakes up. Lara was pissed as hell when she showed up that night and the only reason she will ever forgive me for letting Dean walk into that abandoned warehouse in the first place is because in the end he is alright.

They have been in there a long time and I left my phone in there so I can't even call Jo to fill my time up. I jump up when Lara comes storming out of the room slamming the door behind her. She slams in to me but keeps on running to her car. "Lara where are you going?" I yell after her, chasing her towards her car.

She whips around and I can see the tears in her eyes that have just started to break free and are pouring down her face. She looks completely heartbroken and destroyed. "I gotta go Sammy. Love you." Then she jumps in her car and drives away. What the fuck is going on?

I run back to the hotel and see Dean standing at the sink. He is leaning over it with all this weight on his hands and he is muttering to himself. "What the fuck did you do to Lara? She just went running out of here and she was crying." I ask him slamming the door behind me.

Dean shakes his head and slowly turns around. I take a step back. He looks like shit. "I don't want to talk about it Sammy." He snarls out.

"I don't give a fuck if you don't want to talk about it. Whatever the fuck happened in here had Lara running out of the room crying and I want to know why." I yell at him getting louder with each passing second.

Dean picks up a glass and slams it on the ground. "Fuck you Sam! I said I don't want to talk about it!" He tries to brush past me but I use my height and weight to block him and push him back against the sink. "And I said I don't give a fuck if you want to or not spill it Dean! Lara was upset and I typically don't like it when my little sister cries."

I take step back giving him space to breath. "She asked if she could get back with us and I told her not yet, that I needed another month and I couldn't have her to worry about while we were hunting down the demon."

"That is old news Dean. What else happened?" I am not dumb enough to believe that is what made Lara run out of her crying. Dean walks past me and sits down on my bed and puts his face in his hands. "I am really fucked up right now Sammy."

What did he just say? He has never ever let me know he was anything but 100 percent. Shit this isn't good. Any time he is willing to admit that it is bad then it is really bad. I take a seat next to him. "What is going on?"

He looks over at me and I can tell he is beating himself up over something. "That stupid fucking dream world has me all messed up. I was there for 5 months Sam. Five glorious amazing months and I thought it was real. I have two sets of memories in my head right now. The real memoires which is the world we both know and this entire other set of memoires that never happened. When I woke up there I was really confused. I woke up and I was in bed with a girl. My stuff was all over the house so I knew it wasn't a one night stand. I found my phone and called you right away. You were in asleep and in bed with Jess Sam. While I was talking to you the girl from my bed came down the stairs and you talked to her for a bit then she hung up. She sat me down and explained to me that I have been having these episodes for months now since dad died and that it was just some residual damage due to being a coma. In that world dad and I were hit by a drunk driver and he died right away and I was in a coma for days. Those fake memoires actually started to invade my mind and I thought they were real Sam."

I sit there quietly letting him get it out. "The woman took me back upstairs and that's when I noticed she had on a wedding ring and so did I. I was married to her for five months Sammy. Not only that mom was alive. It was her birthday that first day I was there and my wife and I also found out that she was pregnant with twins. You and Jess were there and we were all really happy. I spent the next five months thinking I was married with a pregnant wife. We picked out baby names, cribs, wall colors, hell we even got baby clothes for these twins that in my mind I still think I am having but in reality never existed. You and Jess were moving to Chicago because you just got a job offer at a law firm there and mom was planning on moving in with us once the babies were born for a few weeks."

This kind of explains why Lara was sad and near tears but not the heartbreak. "So what does this have to do with Lara?"

Dean looks up at me and for a moment I think he might actually break down but he coughs and the moment is passed. "She was there. She worked at dad's shop. Her parents were Bobby and Karen and they had passed away. She travelled and stopped in Lawrence to work with dad."

Something isn't adding up and he can tell I know that. "This morning when I woke up I was really confused Sam. I did something. I did something really stupid."

I groan. I don't like that sound of that. Dean and something stupid can never mean anything good. "What did you do?" I ask partially not wanting to know.

Dean starts to fidget but I give him my best stare and he stops and just looks down at his hands. "Like I said I was confused. I had gotten used to waking up in a bed with my wife every morning for five months so I thought it was her. I may have gotten a bit hands on and Lara had to stop me. After everything that happened with Matt and her dreams I can't believe I did that to her."

Still something isn't making sense. If he was so in love with his wife and spent five months living with her wouldn't he have realized it wasn't her when he woke up and started to touch another woman? Unless… no he… "It was her wasn't it?"

Dean eyes widen and he looks up at me. "Who was her?" He asks trying to write off my question as inconsequential. "Don't play dumb with me Dean you know damn well what I mean. You were married to Lara. That is why you thought it was your wife this morning because you have spent the last five months thinking you were married to her."

Dean jumps up and starts to walk away but I grab his arm. "Dammit Dean! You let her walk out of here thinking that all she means to you is some orphan who worked for dad in your dream world. How would you have felt if she went to what is literally a fantasy world based off your biggest wish and came back and told you she had meet and married her dream guy while you cleaned her pool and lived alone because your family was dead?"

He shakes me off but I grab him again. "You fucked up. Call her and tell her the truth!" I yell at him. Dean manages to shake me off again and looks me square in the eye. "You don't know what you are talking about Sam so shut it!" I can tell by the look in his eyes that I have hit the nail on the head.

"Whatever you say jerk!" I yell at him. "Shut the fuck up bitch!" He screams back at me. I know he won't talk about it but I know the truth. He is in love with Lara and his dream world is being married to her and playing house. I am going to make him tell her the truth if it's the last thing I do.

We get in the car and we don't talk for miles. After another 100 miles I turn off the music and he looks over at me. "You broke her heart Dean. Call her up and tell her the truth."

Dean reaches over to turn the music back up but stops and looks me. "You have no idea what you are talking about Sammy. We are fine she is just mad that I wouldn't let her hunt with us yet." I shake my head and look out the window. "You believe whatever you want to Dean but I saw the look on her face when she ran out of there."

"What do you want me to say Sam?" Dean asks me practically begging me to stop by the tone of his question. I look back at him and shrug. "I don't think it matters what I want you to say Dean. It matters what Lara wants you to say and I guarantee that after what she went through to find you that she didn't want you to tell her that she means so little to you that in your dream world she is just some random coworker with a sad past."

"What do you mean what she went through to find me?"

I sigh and shake my head. "I called her in the middle of the night telling her I lost you. She drove to us in less than five hours I am pretty sure she broke just about every traffic law there is. Then she gets here and she doesn't stop once. She didn't sleep or eat she just researched and investigated until we found you. When we got there she thought you were dead and I could see her dying inside until she saw your chest move. She didn't think you would wake up Dean. I tried to keep her from giving you her blood because she was already so tired but she refused to listen to me." Dean mumbles something and I hit his leg. "What did you say?"

"It was her that brought me back. I heard her begging me to come back telling me she needed me." He says quietly. I smile. "That is what I want you to say Dean. Call her up and tell her that."

Dean's POV

I am not dumb enough to know that I didn't hurt her. I just don't know how I hurt her. It's been three weeks now and she won't talk to me on the phone. I call and leave her messages and she texts me back. The first time I called I almost really fucked up. It went to voice mail and her voice came on. "This is Lara Maywin you know what to do." I was about to chuckle and leave her a voice message that went something like. "Honey it's been two years I think it's time to change your voice mail to Winchester." Luckily I stopped myself and was able to stutter out some message about calling me back.

A part of me feels like I will never heal from this. In my mind I am trying to reconcile the two worlds but that fake world seemed so real. Every morning when I wake up alone in bed I feel like my heart is being ripped out of my body. For a moment I think she's dead. That's what it feels like. It feels like Lara died in childbirth since our babies aren't here either. I feel like a widower. Only I can't truly grieve or Sam would start asking to many questions. The ass hole already figured to much out and I can't risk Lara finding out.

I know what I am to her. I am her older brother, her best friend, her protector, her hunting partner. If she ever found out the truth of how I feel about her it would destroy or relationship because she would feel awkward around me. Not that I would blame her. I would feel pretty weird too if the person I thought of has a brother starting to like me. But it's not just like it's love. And I know it's not just from that stupid world. That world is based on a wish so I obviously loved her before I got sent there. I guess my two biggest wishes are that my mom never died and Lara was mine.

a/n i hope you all like this chapter! thanks for all the great reviews last chapter!


	40. Chapter 40

Sam's POV

These past three weeks have sucked. They have been beyond horrible. Dean and Lara are having an argument without evening fighting. If I call one of them out on it they pretend they don't know what I am talking about and go on about their business like everything is alright.

Then there is a Dean. I don't even know how to begin to deal with him. He has been confused and ornery as hell. Not that I blame him. He went five months in his head thinking he was living a completely different life than the one he is living. Sometimes it's just small things others are so glaring that I can't ignore them. We might be watching tv and something makes him laugh and he'll look over and go, "Lara honey…" then he stops. He then gives me a pleading look not to mention it.

When we are at a restaurant he'll see something on the menu that I know Lara likes and he'll go to order it for her. He'll look at the waitress with his happy go lucky smile. "She'll have the…" Then he stops and shakes himself out of it. He'll give the waitress a fake smile and apologize claiming he is a bit tired or something.

Sometimes at night I know he dreams about her. He'll start moaning in his sleep and it doesn't take a Stanford graduate to realize he is dreaming about being with Lara. I don't know if it's about our Lara or his fake Lara but I guess it is the same woman even if he won't talk about it. It should totally creep my out that my brother is having some pretty hot and heavy sex dreams in the bed next to me but they just make me feel sad for him. He looks and acts so different that the man who left the motel that night. He is heartbroken. I have never seen him like this. He loved his wife and now it's like she died.

A few days ago was the worst one yet. We were walking around a Walmart trying to stock up our supplies. We needed salt, a ton of salt, new bandages, a shit ton of antiseptic, stuff like that. Our cart was pretty full and we were heading up to the check out when we walked by the baby section. I didn't think anything of it and just kept walking with the cart then I noticed that Dean wasn't next to me anymore. I turn around and he has two sets of coordinating baby clothes in his hands. I give him a questioning look and he gives me the shyest smile I have ever seen. He actually blushes a bit, yeah my older brother blushed. "What Sam, Lara said we needed some more new born clothes for when they come out of the hospital and we need to be careful of where they cut the umbilical cord and I think she would like these."

He puts the clothes in the cart and starts to walk off. Then he stops dead in his tracks. He doesn't move for a minute and I debate walking up to him. He turns his head slightly just so I see the side of his face. "I'll meet you in car." Then he leaves the store.

Fuck I don't know what to do about all this. In the past if I had a Dean problem I didn't understand I would call Lara and she would call him and it would be fixed. But right now they aren't even talking. I have tried to get him to talk to be me but he doesn't want too. I have told him if he loves her, being the wife from his dream world, so much then why doesn't he just tell Lara the truth. He just scowls at me and mutters things under his breath when I suggest that.

Dean leaves Lara messages and she sends him texts in response. If she needs to actually talk to one of us she calls me. I have told Dean he needs to apologize and fix it a hundred times but he won't listen to me. He keeps saying there isn't a problem and I am reading too much into the situation. She is busy and he is busy and they just haven't had time to talk. I know that is bullshit because they have always found time to talk in the past.

He has been drinking a lot more than normal too. He hasn't been sleeping around though. He has the opportunity, I have seen it. Different girls hit on him and in the past he would walk off with one of them and I'd see him in the morning. I have actually heard him tell one of these girls he can't because he is married. I didn't bother calling him out on that. Like I said I can't imagine if I was trying to connect two lives together right now.

My phone starts to ring and I see Lara's name cross the screen. I pick it up. "Hey what's up?" I ask her putting the phone between my neck and shoulder so I can keep sharpening my knife.

"Hey Sammy! It's good to hear your voice." She sounds sad. I put the knife down so I can focus on the conversation. "What's wrong Lara?"

I hear a deep sigh on the other side of the phone and I wait for her to talk to me. "I just miss you that's all. Can't a girl call her older brother because she misses him?" This doesn't sound like Lara. "Do you need me to stop by? We are only about 4 hours from you right now. I can be there tonight."

There is a quiet sob on the other end of the phone. "Lara are you crying? What is going on?" I look up to make sure Dean hasn't snuck through the door while I have been focused on Lara.

"I just miss you that's all. I had a rough day. I just wanted to talk to you guys and I am just so…" She doesn't finish her sentence, she doesn't have too. I know all she wants is to talk to Dean but she won't.

"Lara do you want me to have Dean call you when he comes back?"

"No." She responds quickly. "Why Lara? You know you want to talk to him."

She doesn't respond for a minute and I am worried she is going to hang up. "He really hurt me Sam." I can hear her crying on the phone and I assume she hasn't talked to anyone about this yet. "I was just some sad charity case to him in his dream world. How is that supposed to make me feel?"

This is what I have been trying to tell my idiot brother for weeks now. I rub my face and take a deep breath. "Lara you know that isn't all you are to him. Why don't you call and talk to him."

I can see her shaking her head no into the phone. "I can't Sam. I can't hear him to try to justify why I mean so little to him when he means so much to me. I just can't hear that. In my dream world you and Dean would be main fixtures not some side character. You guys are two of the most important people in my life and I mean nothing to the one person I thought I meant more to. Hell at least I could have been his best friend there that lived down the street or something. It hurts Sam." She adds quietly to the end of her rant. "I just.. Sam it's hard I just…"

"You love him." I add quietly. She doesn't anything but I can hear breathing on the phone. "Don't play dumb with me Lara you know that you do."

"Sam…" She responds.

"No Lara it's alright. How about we try to come by soon. We leave Dean and Jo behind and we have some time together. Just us. We will go out get a beer or something and we can talk. How does that sound?"

"Really? Just us?" I smile into the phone. "Yeah just us like old times."

"I would really like that Sammy." She isn't crying anymore so that is good thing. "I would too Lara. Now what why don't you call Dean and try to fix things over with him."

"Can't I have a date tonight." She adds sheepishly. I can sense her blush through the phone. "A date?"

"I can't wait forever Sammy. Listen I got to go. Jo is coming home soon and is going to help me get ready."

"Alright, remember when we come by next just us ok."

"Thanks Sammy. Love you. Bye." Then she hangs up to get ready for her date. I told Dean he needs to fix this. Lara isn't going to stand around forever while he gets his head out of his ass.

Balthazar's POV

I never really gave much stock to my brothers comments about being a guardian. They always said how difficult it was being a guardian. Most of my brothers that are "guardians" barely have to do anything. Every person has a guardian angel but very rarely do they have do anything. We are to let their lives go has planned and only intercede if their plans are going off course.

Not for Lara though. We have to keep her alive no matter what. She is also the only human in existence who can see us. It's impossible not to fall in love with her and not to want to protect her. I understand now why my brothers have risked so much just to keep her happy.

Right now I would do anything to shake that stupid Winchester boy and make him realize he loves her but I am not allowed too. I am not allowed to interfere and I must allow him to tell Lara how he feels at his own pace. Besides my true charge would kill me if I hurt her father. Daphne is fiercely protective of her family and has forced me to protect them already. I can only imagine the field day Zachariah would have if he knew how much sway my little charge really has over me. But it is impossible not to form some kind of bond with your charge. In my case she handpicked me, a completely unorthodox but very needed process. I would do anything for her. Even if that involves not dismembering her father for fun for hurting Lara's feelings, but I would put him back together eventually…

Castiel is one lucky bastard. Since Gabriel is one of the highest ranking angels he was able to make their house arrest a bit more comfortable than what Castiel would have experienced on his own. They are staying at Gabriel's house and minus the angels watching them like hawks they really do have a lot of freedoms. I am still allowed to come give them reports on Lara and as long as they don't try to leave they are free to give me advice.

Before I even get to the door they are both standing there with it wide open acting like a bunch of excited puppies. I would make fun of them but I know how I would feel if someone told me I wasn't allowed to see Daphne. I would be anxious and probably impossible to be around. "So how is she?" The both ask me at the same time.

I chuckle and head inside. "She is has well as can be expected considering she just had her heart smashed into a 1000 pieces." I tell them getting more serious. I hate how much pain she is in. What makes it even worse is that I know what Dean actually saw in that dream world and she is hurt over nothing!

They both scowl and I give them a sympathetic pat on the back. "She has been drinking more than normal and has resorted to only eating ice cream. She also got a new tattoo." That girl tends to fix her pain with some new ink. "I am really not prepared for this and I could use you both desperately. I just don't know how to handle an emotional young woman!" I'm not kidding either. They both have a way with her and are used to dealing with a young woman. I am just not equipped to deal with it.

"What did she get this time?" Cas asks kind of exasperated. He does not approve of her tattooing her body. Gabriel flashes me a smile. We both see no problem with it. I was the one who took her to get her wrap around rosary even. "She got angel wings on her ankle." I tell them with a smirk. "She misses you both terribly." She likes me enough but she loves them and they love her back. This year has been really rough on her. John, Caleb, and Pastor Jim died, she was raped, she was possessed, her nightmares took a whole new turn for the worst, the Winchester's have practically abandoned her, Gabriel and Castiel have been taken from her, and know she thinks she means nothing to Dean. The one man who means everything to her. If getting tattoos can help her with that I have no problem taking her. "She also got her tongue pierced." Castiel scowls at me and Gabriel just sighs and smiles.

"How are her dreams?" Gabriel asks me looking sick with worry. I relax. "They are going fine now. Whatever Michael did worked and she is able to disassociate herself. She still has them but they do not completely take over her body anymore. I have not had to heal her when she wakes up anymore. But I have another problem I need to discuss with you."

Cas' eyes nearly bulge out of his face. "What's wrong?" My poor little brother looks sick with worry. I put my arm on his shoulder to relax him. "It's ok I just need some advice."

"Today while I was watching over Lara from the corner of the bar a bunch of college boys came through on some kind of road trip. They were loud and very obnoxious. Lara was serving their meals when one of the boys grabbed her butt. She kind of freaked out. She turned pale and started to shake. I know she was having a flash back to Matt. The guy tried to flirt with her and she just shut down. They kind of gave her a bit of scare before another boy at the bar got involved and kicked them out."

"Oh poor girl." Cas whispers and I know he is thinking of that human piece of filth Matt who touched our girl. She has been so shy around men she doesn't know and has problems with trust because of that day. "So what is the issue?" Gabriel asks me.

"The boy is taking her on a date tonight and I am concerned." I don't quite know how to raise my concerns without my ability to guard her being questioned. I know that Zachariah would never have allowed them to even meet.

"There is no reason to worry Lara has promised us to remind pure until she is married and she is in love with Dean even if she is mad." Gabriel reasons with me.

I don't mean to act human and get flushed but I have spent so much time with them lately. "I am concerned brother because it is Adam." Both my brothers stop and give me a questioning look. "He hasn't heard from his father and he is searching for answers. Somehow he knew to come to the Road House to try and find him. Could he affect Lara's love for Dean?" Zachariah is going to have me removed from my position I can feel it.

Castiel looks nervous and sits down on the couch. They have spent too much time on earth has well. I can tell Castiel is thinking. Gabriel shakes his head. "I know that Adam is the back up for Michael if Castiel can't save Dean but it won't matter. He can replace Dean in some ways but he will not be able to overrule the overwhelming pull they feel for each other. Soul mates aren't replaceable."

Just hearing Gabriel reassure me I feel the boulder on my shoulders fall off. I didn't mess up. Being a guardian is hard. "Will Zachariah have me removed?" I know he will make it seem like I am unable to serve.

Gabriel smile and pats my back. "No, I have more supporters than him and it comes down to Lara. She rightfully doesn't trust him and wants you. It will be alright. Nothing is ruined brother. But please watch over her tonight. The next two days are going to be very difficult for her. She will need you and I promise the first moment we can we will come to her."

Before I can leave Castiel jumps up. "You should take backup with you Balthazar. Until we can get there at least. Uriel has told me that he would help if you needed it." That probably isn't a bad idea. Lara has made some demon hit lists lately and I have been splitting my time hunting and killing demon assassins and watching her.

"That is probably a wise choice. I will bring Uriel with me. Just having him hunt down the demons after her we be a huge help." The demons think that if they can kill her and the Christ child can't be born that they will win the apocalypse when it comes down to it. But we will all die before having to find that out.

a/n so what do you all think? didn't get many reviews last chapter.


	41. Chapter 41

Lara's POV

I don't know why I agreed to this date. Oh wait yes I do! Because Jo forced me! I am not ready to date yet. I am not over Dean enough to bring someone else into my bullshit but Jo has made it quite clear that she expects me to go on this date and to have a great time at that.

Today was not great. Well to be honest it was horrible. It was a long day and we had a lot of people coming through our doors. Ellen likes to joke that since I have started cooking we actually have a lunch rush and today was no different. We were quite busy and not just with hunters.

Around lunch time a table filled up with boys around my age, well maybe a little older since they had real ids to get drunk with. Ellen and Jo had more people than they could handle and I was helping out by serving the food once I was done with it. Two of our waitresses called out sick today and I know for a fact that they were hung over and not sick.

I was taking out two lunch specials, a burger, and a salad to a table that if the two "sick" waitresses were here would be more than happy to serve. I am just not that attracted to those kind of boys. I don't find a smart preppy guy attractive. Can he help me out if a werewolf attacks? Can he hold his own in a knife fight with a demon? Can I depend on him to keep my alive if I get knocked out by a crazy ghost? The answer to all that is no! So I don't find myself too attracted to them. And to be honest I haven' t found a guy attractive since I realized I am head over heels in love with Dean. Well these guys sure thought they were something special and obviously think that I should be attracted to them.

_I am going to kill those girls tomorrow when they show up. They have a party and invite us all there but then they are too drunk to come in today! Bitches! I get my tray of food and push the door open with my hip careful not to drop anything. I see the beer bottles on the counter for the same table I am heading for. I put them on my tray without spilling a drop and head over to the table. I roll my eyes when I see the guys wearing their polo shirts with popped collars talking about some sweet piece of ass they had the night before. _

_ "Oh come on you know she was hot." The short haired blond one says to the long haired brunette. Great one of those guys. "She may have been hot for bum fuck America but you know that the girls in California are going to be way hotter." _

_ They look up at me when I stop at their table and I can feel them undressing me with their eyes. I really don't need this right now. "Ok so who had the burger and who had the salad?" I ask after I drop off their beers. The red head waves at me shyly. "I have the salad and he has the burger." He says waving towards the short haired brunette. I put them down and then put the specials down in front of the two fucktards in front of me who were going on about all the girls they are going to get in California. _

_ "Maybe we don't need to make it the whole way to Cali to find the hottest girl in America." The blonde says with a smirk. I put my tray down and roll my eyes. Before I can walk away he puts his hand on my ass and I freeze. "When do you get off baby?"_

_ I don't know what to do. I feel like I did in that room tied to the bed with Matt touching me. I want Dean. "Dean." I whisper out before I can catch myself. I look up and Balthazar is in the corner of the bar. I give him a scared look and I know he is about to appear in front of them and start smiting. _

_ "Oh come on babe I can show you a good time." His voice makes me sick. How many woman has he touched like this. I turn around and I can feel my entire body shaking. I know I must be pale white right now and I'm nervous gosh how shaky my voice is sure to be. "Take your hand on my butt right now if you still want it attached to your body." I shake out. I try to sound strong and sure but I know it comes off as weak._

_ The blonde looks at me and just laughs. He grabs my wrist and I go rigid. "Some on sweet cheeks what's with the attitude. My name is Matt what is yours?" My head starts to spin. "You're dead. I saw you die." I say through chattering teeth. I can see Matt dead on the floor next to me on the bed and Dean strangling him. _

_ "What did you say sugar?" He asks standing up. I take in how tall he is now. He's not quite has tall has Dean and he sure has hell is no Sam but he's tall compared to me. I try to take a step back but he tightens his grip on my wrist. "Wanna take this somewhere more personal?" _

_ I know I should fight him off and possibly even indulge and kill him. I have the training too but I am to scared. I know I am not in the room but I feel like I am. Before I may have been the only one to know I was shaking but now I know everyone can see it. I can hear my tray hitting my legs has my knees hit each other. I can feel the tears well up in my eyes and I feel the first one slip down my cheek. "Please let me go." I whimper. I want Dean to be here or Sam. Even if Luke and Rick were here I know they would take care of these guys for me._

_ Matt seems to tense a bit and gives me a confused look. Then out of nowhere a guy appears and grabs Matt's arm and pushes him off me. "Dean?" I say hoping he actually came and saved me. For a moment the back of these man's head actually reminds me of Dean. Then I see that the faceless man isn't Dean. Why would he come anyways? I mean nothing to him. _

_ "Leave the lady alone. It's obvious she doesn't want you touching her." Matt pushes my hero and he lands into my chest. I keep my balance, if I wasn't a hunter I would have fallen over. That hit shakes me into action. I steady the boy that just got Matt off me and turn around and meet eyes with Ellen and give her a nod. She reaches under the bar and pulls out a shot gun and throws it to me. I catch it one handed and aim it on Matt. _

_ "I think it's time you and your friends leave." All the shaking, insecurity, and fear is out of my voice now. Matt clambers back and he and his friends leave quickly. _

_ Once they are gone I hand the gun over to Jo who miraculously appeared in front of me then I get dizzy and black out for a minute. I wake up a minute or two later sitting in a chair with a cold cloth on my forehead. Ellen and Jo are nervously huddled around me and I look around them to my hero. I wave them off. Jo knows what happened to me with Matt and she knows how unsure I am around men now but Ellen doesn't know. Jo and I tell each other everything. "Thank you." I tell the boy in front of me. He blushes slightly and shrugs his shoulder. "I don't like seeing woman getting hurt it was nothing."_

_ I shake my head no. "No it was really great of you thank you." Ellen and Jo stand back knowing that I am fine now. "Let me get you a free meal and desert for helping out. My name is Lara by the way."_

_ He smiles at me and for a moment I think I recognize him but I don't. "My name is Adam. And you really don't have too." _

_ "No please it's the least I can do." I tell him standing up. I am still a bit weak I guess and I feel my knees give out. He catches me before I fall down and I give him a shaky smile. _

_ "Let me take you out for dinner than. You know to show you not all guys are ass holes?" He says with a twinkle in his eyes and a crocked smile on in his face. _

_ "Shouldn't I be the one getting you food? You're the one who saved me not the other way around." He laughs and I relax a bit. I don't feel scared around him like I do most males I don't know. "Any girl who can handle a shot gun like that definitely deserves to be taken out." _

_ Before I can respond Jo chimes in. "She gets off at 5 you can pick her up here at 6:30. We live across the street." He smiles at me and heads off. I hit Jo playfully. "What the hell Jo!" _

_ She smiles at me and puts her arm around my shoulders. "You need to get over Dean Lara and the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else." She's lucky she is my best friend or I might have actually hurt her._

That's how I ended up having Jo cover my face in makeup and picking out my most feminine seductive outfit I have. A short tight fitting blue dress that hugs every curve of my body and makes my eyes look even bluer than normal. Jo then found my black heels, the once that make me 3 inches taller and kill my feet and forced me into those too. I grab my leather jacket and throw it over my dress. "You don't have to marry the guy just have a good time! Is your phone off?"

"Yes mom." I reply snarkly.

"Is your backup phone off?" I roll my eyes at her and shake my head yes. "And your back up back up phone?"

"How did you know about that one?" I snap at her.

"What don't I know about you Maywin. Now go have a nice night and do something stupid!" She tells me has she pushes me out the door. I know she wished Sam was here tonight. They talk every night but that isn't an adequate substitute to him being next to her. Once this Azazeal shit is done I am pretty sure they are going to lock themselves in a room for a few days and just fuck like rabbits.

I walk down the stairs at 6:35 and I see Adam standing in front of the Roadhouse. I walk across the parking lot slowly wanting to get a good look at him before he notices me. He seems nice and he did try and protect me today, maybe I can enjoy myself. Adam looks up once he hears the click of my heels on the pavement in front of him. He smiles at me and looks up and down my body appreciating it but not undressing me with his eyes like the guys earlier. "You look great."

I blush slightly and wave my hand brushing off his comment. "You just think that because I looked such a mess earlier." I was not only pale and shaky but my hair was in a messy unwashed bun and I was wearing holey jeans, really old chucks, and an old Pantera tshirt that was Dean's at one point.

He pulls out a single long stemmed red rose and hands it to me. I take it gingerly and bring the bud to my nose to inhale. "It's beautiful thank you." Like a gentleman he takes my arm and escorts me to his car. He stops and opens the door for me. I get in and I take it in. It's a Honda Civic. A bit of a normal car nothing special nothing manly. Not like the impala. Stop it Lara! You are a date with a nice guy just enjoy it.

Adam climbs into the driver side and turns the car on. The car is filled with the familiar sound of Maroon Five's Songs about Jane that I most certainly don't own but my annoying best girl friend does. Dean would never let something like this play in his car. Jesus Lara stop it! Have a nice night and forgot about Dean for a few hours.

"Do you like Italian?" He asks me turning the music down so he can hear my response. I turn to him and smile. "Yeah, there's a good Italian place in town."

"I was hoping you'd say that. I made reservations at it." The drive is a bit quiet but it's because we are both nervous. I haven't been on a date in such a long time I think I forgot how. I pull nervously on my dress so it covers my thighs. Jo had made me buy this dress a few months ago. She said it would stop Dean's heart the next time I saw him.

We pull up to the restaurant and like a perfect gentleman Adam jumps out and opens the door for me. "I'll be back in a minute I just go to park the car." I smile at him and has he pulls away Balthazar appears next to me. "Lara I have some things to take care of. If it is an emergency pray for me but I am going to be busy for the next few hours." Before I can respond he disappears. I feel a bit uneasy but if something was truly wrong he would tell me.

Adam comes jogging up to me and takes my arm to escort me inside. Once we get inside the host takes my jacket and I get the desired response from the dress just not from the right man. "Wow." I hear him choke out. I give him a smile and we are escorted to our table.

We both sit down and look over the menus and order. He orders us a bottle of wine and once they pour it he looks at me at smiles. "So are you from around here?"

I smile back at him. "No you?" He shakes his head no. "I am just passing through. I was looking for someone. So where are you from? What brought you here?"

How do I explain all those things. What brought me here? "I'm from South Dakota. My family is close to Ellen who owns the bar you meet me at this afternoon and they had an opening or a cook. I needed a change of pace and scenery so I came out here and have been working here ever since."

The rest of dinner goes well. We have a great casual banter going and before I know it we are done and heading out. He drives me back to my place and I direct him across the street to my apartment with Jo. He leans over and kisses my cheek and I smile back at him. "Do you want to come up? We could watch a movie or something."

He smiles and shakes his head yes. He follows me up the stairs and I put my key in the door and before I can push it open Jo flings the door open and leaps on me. Her eyes are red and I can tell she is in a panic. "Call Dean Lara. Something happened to Sam and I waited for you. You're one of the best and it was my fault I made you turn off your phone." She isn't making any sense.

I push Jo into the apartment and Adam follows behind me obviously worried. I grab my cell phone out of my bag and turn the ringer on. I see have I have missed 15 calls. Shit! My phone starts to ring and the name Sam comes across the screen. Maybe everything is alright I mean this is a call from Sam's phone. I pick it up. "Sam?"

"Oh I see I have been calling all night but you refuse to answer if you see my name but for Sam you pick up! Dammit Lara we have a situation here!" Dean screams into the phone. I flinch slightly and motion to Adam and Jo that I am going to step out to take the phone call.

"Dean that is not it at all. I was on a date and Jo made me turn of my phone. I just got back and before I could call you back my phone started ringing. I am sorry. What is going on." I am meet by silence on the other side. "Dean?" I ask hoping he'll talk to me.

"Jesus Lara I came back and Sam is gone. All of his stuff is here and he isn't. I can smell sulfur. Something is wrong and I need help. I already called Bobby and him and Karen are on their way. When can you get here?"

I look down at the clock and it's only 11 pm. "I can be there in 4 hours or less. Listen we are going to be driving through the mountains so I won't have reception. If you find anything leave me a message and I'll get it when we get back into service. I'm leaving right now."

"Just hurry up Lara. Something is wrong I can feel it."

"I'll be there as soon as I can." I hang up and I don't bother changing. I keep a bag of clothes in my car at all times in case something like this comes up. All my weapons and cleaned and ready to go as well. I grab the angel's blade I keep next to my bed and throw it in a duffel and run out of my room. Adam gives me a confused look. "Listen Adam I gotta run. I told you about how I used to work in security systems well something just went wrong with one and I gotta go meet up with my partner and fix it. Umm thanks for a great night call me sometime."

I don't wait for a response. Sam is missing. I grab Jo and we race to my car. She won't stop crying and I know she is terrified. "If something happens to Sam I don't know what I will do." She keeps telling me. I grab on to her hand and try to comfort her. These last few months haven't been any easier on her than they have been for me. She hasn't seen Sam in a long time and they talk on the phone all the time but it's not the same.

After about 2 hours I hear something behind me and I look in the review mirror and Balthazar is there. He touches the back of Jo's head and she falls asleep. "Keep driving Lara!" He demands. I do has he says and before long the whole road behind me flashes a bright white light. I almost lose control of the car but Balthazar reaches forward and gets control of the wheel.

"What is going on?" I stutter out. Before he can respond another man appears in the car. "Are they dead Uriel?" Balthazar asks. He just shakes his head.

"OK what the hell is going on!" I yell out! Uriel gives me a confused look and Balthazar just snickers. "Lara this is my brother Uriel he has been on earth helping me keep you safe. Tonight everything changes. The demons are after you. They want you dead and Uriel just killed the ones currently chasing you."

I have a hard time processing what he just said. "Why do demons want me dead?" I ask turning around. Balthazar looks to Uriel and they both have a silent conservation with each other. "Lara I am not at liberty to discuss it but we will keep you safe."

I know I won't get any information out of them that they don't want to give. Angel's are like that. I pull up to the hotel that Dean said they were at but I can tell he isn't here. The impala is gone and he's not flinging the door open to greet me. I get out of the car and I notice that Jo isn't awake yet. There is a tingle in the air next to me and pivot quickly ready to fight.

"UNCLE GABE! UNCLE CAS!" I cry out has they both appear in front of me. I fall into them sobbing. "You guys are ok. You're back!" I cry into them. They both hug on to me fiercely. Once I get my emotions under control I pull back and Uncle Cas wipes the tears from my eyes.

"We are deeply sorry my dear." Uncle Cas tells me with pain flooding his eyes. "Why are you sorry? You didn't do anything wrong?"

Uncle Gabe puts his arm around me. "Darling when I helped John I knew there would be repercussions. I did not know they would not allow us to see you until this moment. I am sorry we couldn't be here for you this past year and I am deeply sorry I couldn't stop the heart break that is coming your way. We love you deeply and we will never leave you again. You need to get back in your car and drive to him now though."

"Drive to him?" He is speaking in riddles. Uncle Gabe leans over and kisses my forehead. "You need to get to Dean. He found Sam."

There is loud commotion behind me and I see that there are demons in the parking lot with us. "UNCLE GABE!" I scream out. Uriel and Balthazar are already engaged in battle and I know they are going to explode their grace again and all the demons will be incinerated in moments.

"Run Lara! We will never allow anything to happen to you. Castiel you go with her." Uncle Gabe demands. I run to the car and Uncle Cas appears in the backseat. I drive like a bat out of hell and I don't stop even when I see the big white explosion.

A few minutes later Uncle Gabe appears in the backseat next to Cas. "What is going on? Why are all those demons after me all of a sudden?" They both look at each other like Balthazar and Uriel did just a little while before. Jo is still unnaturally passed out next to me.

Uncle Gabe leans forward and rests his hand on my shoulder. "In time all will be revealed my dear. You are special but I think you have already guessed that. The demons have just realized who you are and what you are capable of. They want to stop you to insure that they will win the upcoming war but we will protect you. Nothing will happen to you." I want to beg him to tell me more but I know he won't.

I keep driving, moving towards Dean and Sam. I can feel something is wrong but I don't know what. Dean left me a frantic voice mail of his ware bouts but now I can't get a hold of him. When I am about a mile out Uncle Cas starts to speak. "We are going to wake up Jo and they won't be able to see us but we are here for you. We are so sorry Dear." Then they are gone and Jo starts to wake up.

"I am so sorry I must have passed out. Are we almost there?" Jo asks me yawning. I smile slightly yea you did pass out. "It's fine and we should be there in a few minutes."

I pull up the abandoned house that Dean told me he would be at. I see the impala and I see Uncle Bobby's truck. I pull the bug up next to the impala and we both quickly get out. I am still in my date dress and shoes I never got to change. I guess Dean will get to see me all dressed up. Uncle Bobby and Aunt Karen come to the door when I get there. "Sammy?" I ask them terrified by their grim expressions. I can feel Jo vibrating fear and tension next to me.

Aunt Karen points inside behind her. "He's in there. He's just waking up." She looks pale and nervous. Jo runs off and pushes her way between Aunt Karen and Uncle Bobby. They both turn around and go back inside. I start to follow them when Dean comes out.

It takes me a minute to take him in. At first I feel my breath catch. He's in front of me and I have missed him more than I ever knew. My heart starts to pound and I want to run to him and wrap my arms and legs around him and never leave his side again. Dean meets my gaze and that's when I first notice something is wrong. He takes a step towards me and I move back one step. I take him all in. He has a black cloud just clinging to him.

"Dean what have you done?" I cry out. I can feel tears coming to my eyes. I know what I am seeing. I have seen this on every soul I have taken in my dreams. He doesn't say anything and looks down at the ground. I walk over to him slowly and I put my hand on his shoulder. "Dean please tell me you didn't."

He meets me gaze and I can tell he is dazed and disoriented right now. "He was dead Lara I had to. I had to save him." The tears that were once fighting their way to the surface start to fall freely. I slap him hard across the face. He gives me a shocked look then I pull him into a tight hug and sob into his chest. "How long do you have?"

"One year." He replies quietly. I feel like the world is spinning. One year. I have one year to stop this.

a/n sorry the delay! this last month or so has been shitty. I've had thesis, work, and I broke up with my long time boyfriend... booo to 2012!


	42. Chapter 42

a/n usually I proof read a chapter for a day or two before I post it but I made you all wait so long I decided to just wing it so sorry if there are a lot of errors!

Dean's POV

Lara is not just mad at me. That word hardly portrays the rage that I can see building in her eyes every time she looks at me. It's been a week since that night and she has hardly spoken to me unless she has been forced to.

When she came storming out of her car and I saw her my breath was taken away. She was stunning standing there in her tight blue dress with legs for miles in her high heels. Her leather jacket gave her a hint of kick ass but I had wished it was off so I could see her shoulders. She could tell the moment she saw me. I don't know how she did it but she knew. She gave me a quick punch then pulled me into a tight hug.

That next night we assembled rag tag team and we took down Azazeal. We did what my father couldn't do. We stopped his plans and killed him. A bunch of crazy ass shit got out of the gate though and we are stuck trying to hunt it down. Lara has refused to leave us and said she is hunting again. I did promise her once Azazeal was dead she could join us again and I am not dumb enough to go back on my word.

During the day Lara only talks to me in one word answers and keeps her nose buried in her research. She thinks she can save me but I don't want her too. I would do what I did again if it meant saving Sam. I would do the same for her. Then at night she crawls into bed with me and is like a different person. She wraps herself around me like she is trying to memorize me and goes to sleep sobbing. She wakes up throughout the night screaming out in agony about her most recent nightmare. It's the only time she actually talks to me. She tells me the horrible things that she sees in her dreams. Now not only does she dream about what her other self is doing but she has nightmares on what will happen to me. In the morning I wake up and she is no longer wrapped around and she is back to not talking to me. It's driving me crazy.

Sam keeps giving me looks saying fix it! He wants me to do what it takes to fix things with Lara but there is nothing I can do to fix this. I don't even know where to begin to make things better with her and I. I don't even know what she is truly mad at me for anymore.

We just pulled into a motel for the night and we don't have a hunt lined up right now. We just finished one and to be honest all I want to do is go out, get drunk, and fuck some of this tension out with Lara but what that translates to is the girl I can find that looks the most like her. Then I remember that I promised her I wouldn't sleep with any women when we are hunting together. I'm not totally sure why she made me promise that but I have to assume she was sick of me coming home at strange hours and smelling like a cheap hooker.

Lara's phone starts to ring and she digs through her purse to find it. "Shit where the fuck is my phone!" She screams into the black hole I call her bag. I let out a chuckle and she gives me a steely stare then cracks into a smile herself. Maybe we are on the path to getting better. She finally finds it and grabs it on the last ring. "Lara Maywin." She states into the phone.

I can't hear the other side but I can hear her. "Oh no that horrible... Yeah... um ok... fuck me you have got to be kidding... ok give me the address... we will be there in a few hours." Then she hangs up the phone. Sam and I are both looking at her waiting to hear what that was about. "So... that was Rick and Luke and we have a bit of problem. Apparently the 7 deadly sins got out and they just killed a hunter couple and Rick and Luke are tracking them down but they need back up. So I told them we would come to help."

Sam doesn't even question it. He jumps up and picks up his unopened duffle and waits for us at the door. "Hold up a minute Sam." I tell him totally exasperated by his need to just get up and run off. "You said the 7 deadly sins are out there and killing people?"

"Yes, apparently it's more like the 7 deadly demons and they have already killed civilians and two hunters. Rick and Luke and holed up in deceased couples house and don't think they can take them out on their own. They have traps set up and just need a few more hands on deck for this. We owe them this after dragging their asses to hell gate." Lara cocks her hip the side and rest her hand there just waiting for me to try to persuade her otherwise.

I know she is going to kill me but I have to say it on the off chance she'll listen to me for once. "Lara I don't think you should go on this one. It sounds too dangerous." Oh shit I did it now. Her face starts to turn red and I can see the steam coming out of ears. "Dean Winchester I know you did not just tell me that this hunt is too dangerous for me so I am going to just assume I heard you wrong. I kicked ass the hell gate and I'm the one that took at Azazeal so this should be a cake walk. Now since you seem worried about my safety we'll stick together on this but if you ever try to make me sit out again I swear I will tie you to chair and make you sit it out. Do you understand me?"

I gulp knowing she would do just that too. "Yeah, I understand. Come on lets head out." We all pile into the impala and head out. I can't believe we are actually hunting the 7 deadly sins. Sam and Lara both drift off and I can't help but go back to that horrible night.

_Azazeal has been planning this for centuries and we only have a few hours to come up with a plan. It just seems so impossible. We knew where they were going and were able to get there around the same time now we are at a standoff. That fucker Jake opened the gate and I was able to kill him for killing Sammy. I don't know if I ever experienced such panic has the panic I felt when I saw that knife going into Sam's back. I felt the life slip out of him while I held him tight. The only moment that comes close to that is that night in the apartment when Matt was hurting Lara. _

_ I managed to get the colt and get it to Lara. She is an excellent shot, the best of all of us, and I wanted her to be protected at all costs. The gate is open and horrific demons are pouring out of it and we are helpless to stop it. I am hiding behind a grave stone has the demon smoke flies past me. I look to my left and Lara is huddled behind one too. "Cover me!" She shouts out!_

_ Before I can tell her no she jumps up and I am jumping up with our guns drawn and I am ready to fire on whoever even looks at her. Lara quickly aims up her shot and shoots Azazeal right through the head. It's funny I always thought this moment would be more dramatic but it's just like any other creature. His body lights up and he dies. I had hoped for hell fire and thunder and lighting. This is a bit of a disappointment. "We gotta get that gate closed!" Lara screams to me over the deafening noise. I shake my head in agreement and cross over to her quickly. I grab her hand and we use our weight to get to the gate. Luckily Sam saw us moving and we all meet there are the same time. We throw all our weight into the door and soon we are joined by Rick, Luke, and Bobby. We manage to shut the gate and well collapse down on the ground in front of the door._

_ Lara leans into me and just sits there for a minute. "Shit, what did we let out." She mumbles. "I have no clue but we will soon find out." I respond. Karen, Ellen, and Jo come to meet us at the gate and we all start to get oriented and stand up. We all agree to share what we find with each other and to watch out backs. _

I must have zoned out because Lara is shaking my shoulder. "Hey Dean? I need to go the bathroom can we please pull over?" I turn around and smile. "Sure sorry I must have zoned out."

"Its fine just pull over." I find the nearest gas station and she jumps and goes the bathroom. Sam starts to wake up and looks around. "We there yet?"

I shake my head no. "Bathroom break." Sam's phone starts to vibrate and he picks up and reads the screen and breaks into a shy smile. "Is it Jo?" I ask him. After the hell gate I know we should have immediately started hunting down everything that got out but Sam and Jo deserved a few days. We went back to Jo and Lara's apartment and rested a few days which was code for Sam and Jo screwed like nymphos and Lara lectured me on my stupidity.

"Yea she just wanted to tell me she missed me and was thinking of me." I wish I could just let him go back to the Roadhouse and be with Jo but we opened up a can of shit and we have to find a way to close it back up. Lara comes running out of the gas station and hands out snacks to us all. "Let's roll I want to be killing demons by midnight."

It only takes us another two hours and we are pulling up at the address that Rick and Luke gave us. This is supposed to be someone residence but it seems like a shit hole even compared to the roach motels we stay in. Rick and Luke come out on the porch as we pull up and Lara jumps out of the car to give them tight hugs. I hear them both greeting their "baby girl" and "chickadee." I know that once I am gone I can depend on them take care of her. "So what have we got going on here?" I ask them getting out the car myself.

They both let go of Lara long enough to greet Sam and I and show us around the house. They have demon traps and holy water set up all over the house. With five us we should be able to trap and exorcise this evil bastards. "So what makes you think they will come back here?" I ask them after they give us the tour.

Rick smiles a devious smile that makes me slightly nervous. I know that smile it's the smile that says I did something stupid and I hope it pans out. "I may have set a trap for them at the bar that easily traces back to us so they that they attack on our turf."

"I don't want to know what you did do I?" I ask with a laugh. He shakes his head no and lets out a loud roaring laugh. "Ok let's get our shit and set up shop." Lara and Sam follow me out to the impala and Rick and Luke finish looking over their weapons themselves. I pop open the trunk and start to take out sawed off's and pistols.

Lara leans over and takes what she wants and grabs her strange looking blade that she likes so much. We are all loaded down with weapons, I just hope it's enough to take these fuckers down. Apparently they are easily able to manipulate us into doing what their sin is. The deaths have been gruesome.

We all get back in the house and get in our positions. Rick and Luke are out front to lore them in and hopefully they won't suspect that we are all over the house. Lara starts to move to her own room and I grab her wrist. "Don't you remember you promised to stick with me?" She rolls her eyes and goes with me into the room I was assigned. There are demon traps hidden all over the house in unsuspecting spots. There are the obvious ones above doorways but there are others over sofas, under beds, in showers, hell in the furniture. These aren't your run of the mill stupid demons they are ancient deadly killing machines.

"GET READY!" We hear being yelled out of bowls of the house. I think it was Luke. There may only be 7 of them but the chaos of it sounds like much more. I can hear Rick and Luke firing and luring the demons into the house. Once they are all in Sam is going to shut the door behind them and salt it so they can't get out and all the other exits have demon traps above them. Then he's going to get into the fight himself.

The door slams with a thud and I know that they are all in the house now. I grab Lara's hand and make her look at me. "Don't do anything stupid. I only got a year left you got your whole life." Before she can yell at me a demon fills the doorway to the room we are hiding out in trying to separate the demons into their own rooms where hopefully they will get trapped and we can pick them off one by one. She's blonde, busty, and tan.

"What do we have here?" She purrs out seductively. She goes to take a step into the room but looks up at the demon trap above the door. "Tisk tisk do I look that stupid." She flips her blonde hair and laughs.

Lara snickers. "Well you are a blonde." The demon just laughs and looks at the both of us with black, cold, eyes. "Finally something to work with!" She squeals out has she walks around the devils trap and into the room. She crosses the room gracefully with cat like movements and stops in front of us. Lara and I both have our guns drawn but we can't seem to fire them. "This could be a fun evening." She chuckles out.

The demons stands between up and brings her hands up to both our cheeks and caresses down them. I can't help but close my eyes has she traces my face. I feel my gun lowering. A set of lips capture mine and just kiss lightly and nip on my bottom lip. Then the lips disappear. When I open my eyes again the demon is kissing Lara softly has well. I hate to admit how hot it is to see Lara making out with a girl. Then she pulls away and looks at both of us. "I want to watch you to first."

I am not in control of my body and by the look in Lara's eyes she isn't either. We both throw down our guns and I grab Lara roughly and pull her to my body. I slam her against me and wrap my arms around her so she can't leave. She intertwines her arms around my back and I feel her hands snaking up my back and grabbing my hair. I grab a fist full of her hair and pull her head back and kiss her. I just kiss her lips for a moment then I start to deepen the kiss. She doesn't fight me and opens her mouth for me. I can hear the demon clapping and laughing next to me but all I can think about is Lara in my arms kissing me back. Lara lets out a throaty moan and I pull her even tighter into me. I pull her head back further and lower down to her neck and suck on it until she lets out another moan.

The demon that my mind is somehow realizing is lust but is powerless to stop its affects comes up behind Lara and undoes my hands. I don't want to but I let go at the demons instance and she pulls Lara back into her chest. Lara's eye are hooded over and her pupils are lust blown. She might be even more out of it then I am. She just falls into the demon and if the demon wasn't so strong I know she would be slipping to the floor. I watch the tan pair of hands slide up Lara's side and meet over her breast. "I love it when my victims are willing." She whispers into Lara's ear has she rips open Lara's shirt. "Help me with her pants Dean then we will work on you." She demands. I have no control. I move forward and unbutton her jeans and I slide them down her hips and over her creamy thighs. "Help her out!" The demon demands again.

I get on my knees and get Lara out her boots and socks and help her out of her jeans. Lara almost falls over but I manage to catch her. I stand back up and she is now just in a pair of black bra and panties. Her skin looks so pale and silky next to the black of her underwear and the tanned skin of the demon holding her. "Lara help me undress him too." She pants into Lara's ear. Lara lets out a whimper has the demon kisses down her neck and pushes her on me. Lara grabs on to my chest and starts to unbutton my over shirt and slips it off my shoulders and lets it fall to the floor. The demon comes behind me and yanks off my t-shirt and I am just standing there in my jeans and boots.

Lara gets down on her knees and unlaces my boots and helps me out of them while Lust undoes my jeans from behind me and pulls them off. Lara look up at me from on her knees and the overwhelming desire to shove my cock in her mouth slams into me. DON'T DO IT! I yell at myself and with the last bit of my will power and grab her hand and help her stand in front of me. "On the bed you two." Lust tells us with a push.

We fall into the bed. I am not in control at all but dammit this is what I have been dreaming about for months. Lara is laying down on the bed and I slide up her almost naked body kissing all the exposed flesh I can. I hear Lust behind us shedding her clothes getting ready to join us. I turn my head again and give her an angry glare. She throws her hands up. "Fine I'll give you guys a minute alone." I make my way up to Lara's mouth again and I full on devour it. She is writhing beneath me and it is taking all that is left of my sanity to not just rip off her panties and my boxers and plunge into her, but I can feel Lust's influence starting to force me into that direction.

Her hands intertwine in the short hairs on the back of my head and I feel something burning but I don't care. Lara lets out a wince but I continue to kiss her. The burning sensation gets hotter and I move her hand so it stops hurting me. I keep kissing her mouth and move down to her neck and collar bone.

For the first time since Lust has walked through the door Lara speaks. "Wait Dean." She moans out. I pull back and I look down at her. She has love bites all over her neck and chest but her eyes look a bit clearer. "We need her." I want to shout out that we don't need her for jack shit but I still don't have control. Lara pushes me to the side a bit and extends her hand to the demon waiting rather impatiently and mostly naked at the end of the bed. "Join us." Lara whispers out. She is trying to sound overwhelmed but I can tell by the look in her eyes she knows what's going on even if I don't.

Lust's tan hand takes Lara's pale hand and Lara pulls her into the bed and slides her between us. Once she is fully in the bed Lara kicks out throwing me off the bed and quickly straddles the demon. "Got you bitch!" She screams out. I look up and the affects of the demons power is wearing off and I can see the demon trap above the bed. I also see the ring on Lara's ring finger glowing red. Lara grabs a rosary that was resting on the bedside table and rings it around her neck.

The demon is clawing at Lara's face and neck screaming out in agony. I grab her hands and pull them above her head. Lara tightens the rosary and starts to chant an exorcism. It only takes a few moments and the demon goes slack beneath Lara and the black smokes pours out of the girl's body.

Lara leans back on her legs and lets out a loud sigh and take the rosary off of the girls neck. She checks the girls pulse and shakes her head sadly and fumbles to get off the bed. I catch her before she falls over. "Lara I am so..." She raises her hand and covers my lips. "Not now Dean." I want to remove her hand and tell her how sorry I am but she's right we still have a job to do and now isn't the time.

As if the moment couldn't get any worst Sam comes barging through the doors. "Where the hell have you guys..." His eyes grow large and he takes in the scene before him. Lara and I are both down to our under garments and I am sporting a raging hard on and there is a dead girl on the bed. "What the fuck happened in here!?" He screams out.

Lara looks back to the body on the bed and shrugs her shoulders. "Lust I guess." Then she leans down and pulls up her jeans. "That is such bull shit! I have fucking pride and greed all up my ass and you guys get a threesome!" Sam whines from the door.

"Don't be such a little bitch Sammy." I yell at him has I find my own jeans to put on. Sam gives me his patent bitch face and I throw my boot at his head. Sam turns around and stomps out of the room. Lara and I get dressed in silence and meet everyone back downstairs.

None of the vessels survived but we all did and the demons are gone. "Remind me not to come to another one of your guys parties." I joke with Rick and Luke and they laugh. Sam gives me a death glare. "Oh yes because it was so rough for you rubbing up against Lara and Lust."

Before I can respond Lara whips around and is up Sam's personal space. "Back the fuck off Sam. Just because ours seemed better than yours doesn't mean jack shit and how did you kill both Greed and Pride?"

Sam's face turns red and I can tell he is hiding something. I walk up behind Lara. "Spill it Sasquatch!" She demands. She can tell he is lying too. He looks nervously around the room and his hand raises up and rub the back of his neck like he does when he knows his caught. "Fine! Some girl came barreling the door and was able to kill them with a knife. I didn't know who she was and as she left she flashed demon eyes at me. I mean she was a demon but she helped me."

I feel Lara go rigid in front of me. "Sam she is a demon. Demons don't help you for no reason she wants something."

Sam throws his arms up in surrender and looks to me for help but I have none for him. "I have no clue ok. I am just saying what happened. I was in a bad spot and she came in and saved me." Rick and Luke cough uncomfortably behind us and we turn around to look at them.

"How did she get in?" Luke asks the obvious questions. We all look around the room and I spot a broken window with a equally destroyed devils trap above the window. I point it out. "She's tricky." Luke says to no one in particular.

We all get out of the house and light it on fire. Less questions that way oddly enough. Luke and Rick agree to call us if they find anything out about the mystery demon that just saved Sam. We all agree to call each other if we come across something we can't handle too.

The drive to the nearest motel is awkward at best. Sam is pouting in the seat next to me and Lara is such deep thought behind me that I doubt she would notice me talking to her at all. I pull up to the hotel and Sam lets out a groan. "Listen Dean I am sorry I was so hard you guys I was just pissed. I am going to hotwire a car and head out to see Jo for the night. Meet me there tomorrow." He looks into the backseat and like I thought Lara isn't paying attention at all. "Besides you guys need to talk." Before I can respond he is out of the car and grabbing his duffel and running into the night to steal some poor suckers car.

I get out of the car and go the office to get a room. "Hey I need a room for the night." I tell the clerk. He looks up at me and I assume he now paying attention. "Two beds if you got it."

The man shakes his head no. "Sorry I only got kings left." I let out a sigh I guess we'll be sharing a bed again tonight. I hand him a credit card and he hands me a key. I get back in the Impala and take the car to the spot in front of our room. I turn around and look at Lara. "Hey we are here." She finally looks up at me and notice I'm alone in the car. "Hey where is Sammy?" She asks utterly confused.

"He took off to go see Jo. We are gonna pick him up after we get some sleep. Come on. They only had one bed." She just shrugs her shoulders and get out of the backseat grabbing her bag and mine and handing it to me.

The room is just like any other room. King bed, table, two chairs, crappy tv, and dirty bathroom. We get into the room and shut the door. I drop my stuff on the bed on the side nearest the door and Lara drops hers on her side of the bed. "Listen Lara I am really sorry about what happened back there. It was totally out of line."

"Its fine Dean. It's not like we had any control anyways." She responds not looking at me. She turns her neck and I can see a hickey forming and I internally hit myself. "No Lara I am really sorry..."

Lara whips back around and finally meets my gaze. "I said it's fine Dean. I know you hate having to worry about me and now you have to be all worried I'm going to freak or something." She snaps at me.

"What do you mean I don't like to worry about you?" I snap right back. Anger, sadness, fury all flood her eyes at once. "I figured out after the djinn that all I am to you is some sort of responsibility that you don't want to have to worry about but you are forced to."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I try to think about everything I said to her about the djinn.

Lara's eyes fill with tears and I move forward to comfort her but she puts up her arms to stop me. "When you came back you said that I was just some orphan that was a charity case for your dad and that you didn't want to have to worry about me while you were hunting. I put the two together Dean. In your dream world I am someone else responsibility."

She couldn't be more wrong. In my dream world she is everything to me. "That is not true Lara. I don't look at you has some kind of burden."

"Yes you do!" She shouts at me. "You wouldn't let me hunt with you guys because I was just a burden to you. You couldn't hunt the way you like with me tagging along. That world is based off your biggest wish Dean and there I was nothing to you and a little more than a blip on your radar!"

God I wish I could tell her the truth. "No Lara that is not true!" She tries to stop me but I walk up into her space and grab her into a hug and make her look into my eyes. "Fuck what you think happened or didn't happen in that world because regardless of what happened there it was you that brought me back."

Confusion washes over her face now pushing the anger and the fury away. I stare down at her for another moment before I speak. "Despite how wonderful and perfect that world was I heard you there. It was you calling me that made me realize where I was. My wife there asked, no she begged, me to stay with her but I couldn't. I lied to you the day after you rescued me. I wasn't because it wasn't real. For a moment I really did think about staying. I had everything I ever wanted a wife, two kids on the way, Sammy was happy, Jess was alive, mom was alive. What brought me back was you asking me to. You begged me to come back. You, Lara, are more important to me than anything else in this world or some made up fantasy world. I care about you and I worry about you all the time because of that. If something happens to you now I am fucked. I already gave my free pass out for Sammy. You aren't some burden to me you are the bright spot. The something to be excited about. You brought me back, you were more important than all of that stuff that djinn made me live. I can't believe you ever doubted that."

Lara's lower lip starts to quiver and her buries her head into my chest and starts to sob. "I am sorry Dean. I am so sorry." She cries out into my chest. I rub her back and try to soothe her while she sobs out her feelings that she has trapped for months.

Once she stops crying she pulls away and sits down on the mattress and grabs my hand pulling me next to her. "I can't lose you Dean." I don't respond. I don't know what to say. In less than a year my time is up and there nothing I can do about it.

a/n SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY! I went out of the country for two weeks over the holidays and was to busy to even check my email let alone write! I will try not to make you all wait that long again but I apologize in advance if I do because in a few weeks my last semester for my masters start back up again!

please review if you get a chance they seem to be dwindling.


	43. Chapter 43

a/n I am so sorry guys! I def didn't plan on not writing for like months! School/work/ ex boyfriends can definitely kill you! For those of you who have read becoming free you knew this was coming and I apologize... for those of you who haven't read becoming free well... without further ado...

Dean's POV

Lara has changed since the night we talked after we were attacked by the 7 deadly sins and we kind of hooked up. Before she was angry at me only talking to me in one word answers now she is back to how we were. It's almost like nothing ever happened. But I know she is thinking of my year end date like a ticking time bomb just like I am. I would do it again if I had to but it doesn't make it any easier to wait. It doesn't help much that Sam and Lara have been dragging me all over the country trying to find a loop hole.

Then there is Ruby. What the fuck do I say about that? A demon who wants to help us because she still remembers her human side? I am not sure what to think about Ruby to be honest. She has helped us numerous times but she's a demon. Demons don't help you unless they are getting something out of it. I just can't figure out what she is getting out of it yet. Sam seems to trust her. Not completely but just enough to think about hearing her out about how to save me.

Our last hunt is finally done and we are having our celebratory night out to celebrate our win. Lara isn't even trying to look hot I mean she is just wearing an old guns n roses tshirt that she has fitted to her body and cut up a bit along with loose fitting pants but god I want her. Since that night with lust she is all I can think about. I know what it was like for a few minutes to be with the real her. I thought my time in djinn world was amazing but those moments with her...

She must think I have gone crazy these last few weeks. I can't stop staring at her mouth and wishing it was on mine or even better kissing all over my body. If I am not staring at her mouth I am devouring the rest of her body with my eyes. It has made hunting difficult. Lara's breasts, Lara's hips, ghost trying to fling me across the room. It's been fun.

"Dean... hey Dean... you in there?" Lara's voice cuts into my stream of conscious. Oh great once again to distracted by her to do things like pay attention to my surroundings. I look up and give her a crocked grin. "Yeah sorry Lara just thinking."

Lara frowns slightly. She must assume I have been thinking about my impending due date. I just keep smiling and hope she doesn't ask to many questions. She has been really nice to me lately and I know it's because she knows I only have a few months left. "I was gonna get another drink do you need one?" She asks. That must have been her question in the first place.

I look down and my beer is empty. I shrug. "Yeah that would be good." Lara lips break into a smile, not that I was staring at them or anything, and she jumps out of the booth and dances up to the bar. God her ass is fine.

Slam!

"What the fuck Sam!" I ask him rubbing my chest. Sam hits me again and gives me an incredulous looks. "Will you stop undressing her with your eyes while I'm around!"

I shoot him a glare. "Shut the fuck up Sammy." I spat out at him. He rolls his eyes at me. "Don't pretend that you don't think about her all day every day and that you want to sleep with her and wake up with her every morning for the rest of your life." He says to me so matter of fact that I want to slap that prissy look right off his bitch face.

I just keep glaring at him. "You don't have a clue what the fuck you are talking about Samantha." I retort back.

"Don't be a dumbass Dean. I see the way you look at her and I know you want her. So instead of staring at her like some kind of stalker maybe you should oh I don't know tell her how you feel!" Before I can respond Lara comes back to the table with a tray off all our drinks. She hands Sam and I our beers and puts whisky shots in front of us. She slips into the booth next to me and I feel her leg slide in next to mine. She picks up her shot and looks at us to pick up ours. "To killing witches and surviving!" She exclaims has she puts back her shot. We both take ours and we all slam our shot glasses down and smile at each other.

The waitress keeps giving me seductive glances. I can tell she wants me. I haven't been sleeping around with girls since I was a teenager to not pick up on something as simple as an easy lay. I have been like some sex starved middle of puberty kid that last few weeks. The only thing I haven't had to relive is my voice cracking but hell that might as well be happening. What can I say it's been fun needing alone time in the shower every morning after laying in bed with her all night. I gotta be careful to get up before her and Sammy or they will see little Dean every morning. It's quite pathetic. I am a ladies' man. Hell I am Dean fucking Winchester and I haven't been to a bar where I couldn't bring a woman home in years. She's driving me nuts! I can't think around her!

"So where we off to tomorrow?" Lara asks has she brings her beer bottle to her lips. Her lips gently surround the top of the bottle and I can feel myself hardening just watching her. God dammit Dean! Shake it off!

Sammy starts to dig through his notes. He is such a geek. He always has some kind of file with him. "I think we are gonna split up. I am gonna swing by and pickup Jo and we are gonna go look into something for Dean. You guys are going to go and research some guy who disappeared in some town. How does that sound?"

Lara just shakes her head in agreement. Great now I have to go on a hunt alone with her. That shouldn't end horribly wrong or anything. I need to get away from her for just a minute. I can't do this. I nudge her gently. "I am going to hit up the juke box. Can I get out?" I ask her.

She moves out of the booth and I slide past her to the juke box. I just needed a minute of her not totally surrounding me. If I thought she could ever look at me has something other than big brother Dean I might take up Sam's suggestion and talk to her. Not that I like those kind of talks but for her I think I could do it. Ok Deana put on your dick and pull your head out of your ass!

I get to the juke box and I pick out a few songs that I like. I know I need to head back to the booth and as much as I want her right next to me I can't take it either. I take in a deep breath and I head back to our table and Lara moves into my old side and I slip in next to her. My first pick an ACDC classic comes on. Maybe this song was a bad choice. When the lyrics "knockin me out with those American thighs" comes on I instantly regret this song choice because Lara definitely has some American thighs I want to get in between. Dammit Dean get your shit together this is fucked up.

The waitress gives me another come hither stare. She is pretty in an ordinary way. Her hair is blonde, not naturally, but still blonde. Her breasts are poking out the top of her too tight top. I can only imagine that her jeans would look painted on. We all finished our beers and before one of us can go up to get more the waitress comes prancing around the bar to deliver us another round. And my oh my I was right those jeans are painted on. She drops our beers off and makes sure to push her breasts right into my face. She has nothing on Lara but I would take a round with that. Again with Lara Dean?!

Lara and Sam are talking about only god knows what especially since I can't seem to focus on a god damned thing around her. My eyes follow the waitress has she sways her butt back to the bar. It isn't has natural or fluid as when Lara moves but I need some action like yesterday. I take a quick swig of my drink and I jump out of the booth once again to follow the waitress to the bar. I ignore Lara's eyes following me and focus on my target, busty blonde bar wench! I strut my stuff to the bar and I lean against the bar in a casual manner. "Hey there can I get another shot?" I ask with a grin.

She smiles at me and pours me a drink and slides it to me. "Name is Laura what about you?" Oh great her name is practically Lara. Oh well that should only make this easier. I notice that her eyes are blue but they aren't electric like Lara's. They are just ordinary. Just like every other woman. "Dean." I respond to her with the best I'm sexy grin I can muster.

It doesn't take much of my normal charm to get her to follow me out of the bar. Hell it only took a fraction of what I have to put into a night with a lady. Laura comes out from around the bar and I put my arm around her shoulder and lead her out of the bar. I make eye contact with Sam so he knows I'll meet with him later but I make sure not to look at Lara or I'll lose my nerve. To say that Sammy looks pissed is an understatement. His bitch face is plastered on and even if I was blind I would be able to feel the disappointment in his eyes.

We get out to my car and I smile at her. "So I am sharing a room with my brother and our friend so you got a place for us to go?" I ask kind of awkwardly. This is always the worst part of a hook up. The awkward I got nowhere to take you part. I would bring her back to the room but I wouldn't bring some slut back to the bed that Lara sleeps in.

"I got a roommate but the back of your car looks pretty roomie." She says with a smirk. I knew this girl was gonna be fun! I unlock the car and open the back door and usher her in. She slinks into the backseat and lays on her back and crooks her finger and motions for me to come. Oh I will cum that is for sure.

"That has never happened before I swear." I stutter out to her. Dammit I don't think I have ever been so embarrassed. Things were going good until I moaned out "Lara" and realized I sighed the wrong name. Then all I could think about was Lara and I couldn't keep it up for this girl.

I can tell Laura is pissed but she still wants a go but I'm not a total asshole I made sure she got off so she should be content. "Listen I know the backseat isn't the best. Why don't we head back to your hotel and get another room." I shake my head no. "Listen I'm sorry. We got a early start tomorrow. How about I take you home." There's no point to it now. Lara is too far under my skin and there is nothing I can do about it.

The drive back to her place is tense and she jumps out whenever I pull up to the curb. I would try to say something to her if I cared at all but I don't. I start to get nervous on the way back to the hotel. How could I be so stupid. I promised Lara months ago that I wouldn't just got out and hook with girls while we are hunting together because it makes her worry when she doesn't know where I am. And what do I do? I go out and sleep with some blonde skank. Great Lara shouldn't be pissed or anything.

I wonder what she would say if she knew that I wish it had been her in the back of my car? Probably start to laugh at me and think I was making a joke. I pull up into the spot in front of our door and I sit there for a while. I really don't want to go in there and have to answer to her. I broke a promise with her. Dammit everything I touch falls apart doesn't it. Is there anything I don't fuck up?

Honestly I lose track of time sitting in the car. I realize I am cold and I need to get up and back inside. I can smell the sex on me and in the car. I need a shower. I get out of the car nervously and I pocket the keys to the impala and grab the keys for the hotel. Before I get to the door it feels like something slams into my back and I go fumbling forward. If I didn't have such great reflexes I would have hit the curb. I steady myself and turn around to face my attacker but nothing and no one is there. Either I truly am going crazy or we have a problem at this hotel. Or it could be all the shit I drank tonight and I just tripped over the curb. I shake it off but I'll make sure to check out traps and wards tonight for sure.

The lights are off and I hope they are both asleep. I open the door quietly and shut it softly behind me making sure not to wake anyone up. It takes a moment for my eyes to adjust to the dark and I hear Sammy snoring slightly before my eyes adjust and see him sleeping in the far bed. That's when I notice that my bed is empty. Shit where is she? My heart starts to pound and I feel my nerves rising. She should be here. Sammy wouldn't let her get hurt and he would make sure she made it home. Shit unless she got mad that I broke my promise and she found some guy to take her home too.

Before I can completely freak out I hear movement on the couch. I turn quickly and I see Lara laying on the couch. I let out a sigh of relief then I notice that there are tears on her long lashes. "I know you slept with her Dean." She says quietly. Before I can respond she rolls over and buries her head in the couch and I can tell she doesn't want to talk to me.

I head to the bathroom and kick off my clothes and jump into the shower not caring that the water isn't warm yet. Lara is pissed. I don't know if she will forgive me. I broke a promise to her. One that I know she hasn't broken. How could I be so stupid. Was it really worth it? An hour in the back of the car with some slut and I couldn't even finish. Was that worth breaking a promise to her. No it wasn't.

Once my shower is done I wrap the towel around my hips and walk out into the hotel room. I fumble around for a minute and pull out some clean clothes from my bag. I pull on clean boxers and sleep pants and check all the wards and traps in the room just in case whatever happened outside is supernatural. Then I crawl into bed. I can hear Lara trying to be quiet. Her silent sobs are racking through me.

What have I done?

a/n I am so sorry again for it taking so long to post. I will try to post faster from now on but I am so busy with school and work but I will try for real! I hope you all like the chapter. Try and review if you have a chance. I have some really exciting stuff coming up before Dean goes to hell!


	44. Chapter 44

Lara's POV

How dare he! How fucking dare HE! Every promise he has ever made me he has kept until now. He broke a promise. A promise that I did not break and could have. I have had numerous chances to enjoy some man whore behind a bar. But I haven't. Yes maybe I also made the same promise to my uncles but I promised Dean I wouldn't just run off with some guy even to make out and I haven't done that. I have been true to my word unlike him! He is a liar! For my entire life one thing was a fact, I can trust Dean. He would never break a promise he made to me.

The pain is so intense I don't know if I can breathe let alone stand. I love him. I have unwillingly given him my heart and I would give him my life if it would help him and he sleeps with some disgusting bar slut. God it hurts. I love him so much with every fiber of my being and he does this. I will love him till I die not when he dies but when I die BUT I can't live my life for him any longer. He isn't worthy of my love, my devotion, my heart. I will do what I must to have a full complete life, whether he is in it or not.

Sam has tried to comfort me. He claimed at the table that Dean feels for me what I feel for him but I am not stupid. If he loved me he would not need to go between someone else's legs. I have never been with Dean but my love for him is enough to keep my warm at night and content. If he loved me just being near me would be enough. Sam is wrong. It's times like these that make me miss Jess even more. I would give anything to be able to pick up the phone and call her right now. I know she would know exactly what to say to make me feel better. I could call Jo but well she's no Jess.

I wish I could be stronger. I wish I didn't need to cry. Sam told me to take Dean's and my bed but I can't. I can't stomach the idea of him crawling back smelling of her and getting into bed with me. I would have to bleach my skin right now if he so much as touched me. Sam offered for me to share a bed with him as well and I can't do that either. He kicks and screams in his sleep like me. We would fight each other right off the bed! It would be strange to share a bed with Sam as well. He truly is my brother. No blood test could tell me otherwise. I love him like my own flesh and blood. Just like only very differently likeI love Dean with every fiber of my being, every beat of my heart, every breathe I take. Jesus I am pathetic.

Tears are for weak people but I can't stop them. They slip out from my eyes without my consent and they pour down my cheeks marking me as weak. I want him so bad. Even though he disgusts me I want him. I want him to be mine. I want him to only want me. I want him to only want me to grace his bed! But that will never happen. For a moment after Lust I thought maybe he could want me. He told me I was the reason he came back. I am stupid.

I feel a soft caress on my shoulder and I roll over quickly and see a welcome face. "Uncle Cas." I whisper with a smile through my tears. He smiles at me and leans down and kisses my forehead. "My darling I am sorry you are hurting but I am here now. I will stay with you to comfort you my dear."

I lean into him and cry into his shoulder. Sam is long asleep I can hear his slight snoring and even if he woke he would not see Uncle Cas, not that Uncle Cas would allow him to wake. "Are you going to mark your body in pain again my dear?" He asks softly. He has never liked my penchant for tattoos when I am hurt. I hold him tighter. "No, he does not deserve my blood."

That gets a smile out of my Uncle. I hear a door shut outside and Uncle Cas grips my tighter and smiles at me. "Just a moment love wait here." Then he is gone. After a few moments I hear Dean fumble with the keys to our door. He is trying to be quiet but it doesn't matter I am awake and hear him. He shuts the door behind him and I see him take in Sam's form on the far bed. It doesn't take long for him to realize our bed is empty. I can see him start to worry about me. LAIR! You don't care about me. I can't keep myself from drawing attention to myself.

He whips around and looks me right in the eye. "I know you slept with her Dean." I spit out at him and roll back over so my face is in the safety of the couch. He doesn't even bother to tell me otherwise and I hear him go into the shower. Not only to I just know it my dumbass saw it! I saw his car still sitting outside the bar and I got worried and went to check on him. Big mistake!

Once again I feel a hand on my shoulder. "I am back dear I just had to see him. I could not help myself and I pushed him. He may say there is a threat here but there isn't it was me." I can't help but smile. At least someone did what I wish I could. A little push to scare him is worth it for me. I fall asleep to the sounds of Dean rolling around on his bed and Uncle Cas rubbing my back soothingly.

Sam's POV

Since I can remember I always remember looking up to Dean. I stopped telling him that he was my idol when I became a teenager but I didn't stop idolizing him. He was always faster and stronger than me. Slick with the ladies, and was friends with everyone. He has watched over me like a brother and more importantly like a father.

Since I can remember I have always looked up to Dean, until now. What the fuck was he thinking last night?! Since he has woken up from the djinn I have watched him mourn over the loss of his "wife." But this love he has for Lara started long before the mourning period. He has loved her since the night with the vampires at least. It was probably before then but that is when I think I begun to think something was there. And this love is reciprocated if he could just open his god damned eyes and look at what is right in front of him!

So the man, yes you heard me man because he has been acting like the man of this family since he was 4 years old and my dad shoved me into his arm, that I respect more than anything did something so incredibly stupid last night that I doubt he will ever be able to make her forgive him for. The entire situation is so ridiculous. He loves Lara and Lara loves him and the both spend their entire day trying to keep the other from figuring it out. He stares at her all day long like she is a waterfall and he has been in the desert for his entire life. Then she looks at him like he is the love of her life and she could live off his words alone. And Dean sleeps with some whore who wasn't even that hot. Stupid man.

Luckily Lara is still asleep. I have checked on her a few times and she looks peaceful unlike before when she looked so depressed just a few hours ago. Dean on the other hand looks like shit. He has been rolling around in his bed like a pig in shit, only a pig in shit would have enjoyed it! He knows he fucked up and he has never dealt well with guilt. He very rarely feels guilt for sleeping with a woman though.

I kick Dean's bed with my boots and he jumps awake. "What?!" He hisses out trying to be quiet. Even just woken up he still worried about Lara first. Jesus he's an idiot. "Come out with me." I hiss right back. I walk out the door and make sure not to slam in shut. I lean against the wall of our hotel waiting for him to get his ass out here.

Dean comes out of the door barely awake and only mostly dressed in jeans, an under shirt, and his boots unlaced. Before he notices where I am I grab him and slam against the wall. I wedge my arm under his neck and use my other arm to keep his hands down. "Now listen to me you dumbass." I growl at him. "I am leaving today and I am going to get Jo and were are doing some investigating. By my count that gives you a week or a bit more to make things right with her. I swear to god Dean if I come back and there is even a hint of tears in her eyes I am going to beat the fucking shit out of you!"

"What the fuck are you talking about Sam?" Dean screams at me. He tries to move out from under me but I keep him pinned. "You know what I am talking about! You both promised each other that you would not sleep with anyone when you are hunting and traveling together. Now you are going to fix it while I am gone or I am going to tell her that you are in love with her and that you are being a complete fucking idiot!"

Dean's eyes darken and I push into his throat with my arm and then step away in a huff. "Keep out of this Sam you don't know what the fuck you are talking about it."

I start to walk away and turn back and laugh at him. "Your right what do I know? I just live with you day and night. I have watched you these last few months pine over Lara like a love sick puppy. I was in the Walmart with you that day and I have heard you almost every night Dean in your sleep. But your right what do I know." I turn back around and keep walking.

It's not long before I find a car I can jack for a few hundred miles. I'll leave it filled with gas and clean when I get closer to Jo. We have meeting with a voodoo priestess and another with a psychic. I may want to kick his ass doesn't mean I don't want to keep his ass alive.

Lara's POV

The bed beneath me shifts ever so slightly and I slowly sit up. This isn't the couch I went to bed in. I look to my left and Uncle Cas is sitting next to me and running his hand through my hair. "It's time to wake up darling. Dean will be back soon and I figured you would want time to get yourself together before he came back."

"How did I get in Sam's bed?" I ask him still a bit confused. Uncle Cas smiles at me and leans down and kisses my forehead. "Once they got up I moved you to the bed so you could sleep more comfortably. Your Uncle Gabriel and I will be around. If you need me or him just pray and we will come. If you want we can beat him up." He says with a twinkle in his eyes.

I can't help but smile at him. "No Uncle Cas I don't think you beating him is the answer. Leave it to me. I can handle Dean." Uncle Cas chuckles and his eyes flitter to the door. I can hear the impala pulling up into the parking lot. "I love you dear and I will be around." Then he is gone. I fall back into the cheap pillow and wait till Dean comes back in.

Once the door opens I roll over and face the wall. I am not ready to see him yet. I can smell the food that Dean brought back. Smell like pancakes and sausage to me. "I brought you some breakfast Lara. Do you want some?" He asks nervously. I don't turn around yet and keep looking at the wall. "Lara I know you are awake."

I roll over quickly. "I am awake and I'll eat when I feel like it." I jump out of bed and run to the bathroom to get ready for the day. He doesn't deserve to see my tears. I turn the water on hot and jump in. I have always loved hot water on my skin. It makes me feel better. I spend a bit too long in the shower because the water turns cold. I get out and I look at myself in the mirror. I look tired but with a bit of makeup I can make myself look more awake and better. Every time I put on my makeup I can almost feel Jess in the room with me. I love Aunt Karen but she isn't a makeup kind of woman. Jess on the other hand loved being a girl. I get myself ready and I am thankful I left my bag in the bathroom the night before so I don't have to go back out yet. I dig through my bag and find something suitable for my mood today. I want to make him see what he is missing without trying too hard. I pull out a jean skirt and tights to put on under my boots. I then find a black top tight enough to look sexy but not so tight it looks like I am trying. I give myself one more look over and head back to the bedroom.

When I enter the bedroom I can feel his eyes on me. I can tell he likes what he sees. I smirk and take a seat and dig into the breakfast he got making sure to exaggerate my mouth while I eat the sausage he brought with him. "So what's the plan?" I huff out.

He looks up at me and smiles. Oh he thinks everything is ok because I am talking to him he has another thing coming. "We have a hunt and I figured we could get as far as Chicago tonight then head the rest of the way there tomorrow. Some guy disappeared in a town that also has a mystery spot or some weird shit like that. It's probably totally unrelated but we have to go check it out." I nod and focus back on my meal trying to ignore him even though I can feel tears building behind my eyes. I feel calm wash over me and I look behind Dean to see Uncle Gabe smiling at me. "Lara" Dean starts then stops and takes a deep breath. "I am really sorry about..."

"Don't you dare." I shout at him standing up and stomping out of the room. I get to the impala and I sit on the hood that is still warm from its morning run. Dean comes flying out behind me. "Lara please let me..."

"I said don't you dare. I don't want to hear some bullshit about how you are sorry for breaking your promise when it doesn't matter because you did it anyways. Now go get our stuff and let's get out of here." Dean's face falls and he walks back into the motel. It only takes him a minute and he comes back out of the room and throws me the keys to the room and I run down to the lobby and check out.

The ride is quiet. That's not abnormal for us. We can go hundreds of miles without talking to each other but this time it's different. The quiet isn't comfortable. It is painful. I pull out my ipod and put in my ear buds and put on my music and try to sleep. I can't help but laugh that I am listening to the same song on my ipod has Dean is on his precious stereo.

It's obvious that Dean is thinking hard. He gets this look on his face when he is trying to put something together. It's obvious he feels guilty but I don't care. He did it anyways. I feel a hand on my thigh and I slap it away and give him the nastiest look I can conjure up. He pulls his hand away and apologizes. "I am sorry I was trying to get your attention. We are going to be in Chicago soon and I thought we could mix it up a bit and stay somewhere nice. Think you could look something up."

"Why?" I ask him. He frowns and shrugs his shoulders. "Listen I know you don't want to hear it but I am sorry and I thought it would be nice to stay somewhere that we don't have to share our room with cockroaches."

I sigh and pull out my phone and fumble through the search trying not to cry. I don't want him to see how hurt I am. Let's see how serious he is about a nice hotel. "How about the James?" I give him the phone and he looks at it and nods his head. "Looks good I'll call and make sure they have a room."

He gives me back the phone and I type in the number and hand it back to him. After a few moments the receptionist must have answered. "Hi I was wondering if you had any rooms available for the evening." I don't know what the person on the other side is saying I just hear Dean saying the occasional, "Oh, two, ok, yeah," then finally "Sounds great we'll take it. Put it under Dean Singer and I'll be there in about an hour. Can I arrange for bottle of champagne in our room when we arrive?" I look up at him and I know my eyes most look huge. "Ok thanks see you soon." He then hands me back the phone.

"What the hell Dean?" I ask him incredulously. Was that phone call fake? No I know it was real because I dialed the fucking number! He looks at me and smiles. "I figure if we are going to splurge a bit we may as well go the whole nine yards. Wanna go out somewhere nice for dinner tonight?" I grab a bottle out of my purse and throw its contents in his face. Before he can respond I nick him with a silver knife from my bag. "What the hell Lara?!" He shouts while he get control of the wheel again.

"Don't want the hell me! This is not like you I just wanted to make sure it was you." I say with a laugh. It feels good to laugh with him. He smirks at me and focuses on the road. "I just wanted to do something nice for you."

That gets me going again. "Don't think that a night in a nice hotel is going to make up for what you did Dean." I grumble back at him. He looks at me for a moment and puts his hand on my shoulder. I roll my shoulder to get his hand off me. "Lara I am sorry for what I did." He says so sincerely that I can't help but start to believe him.

"Do you even know why I am so upset Dean?" I ask him quietly. He shakes his head slowly. "It's because I broke a promise to you."

"It's not just that Dean. My entire life I have known one thing." Dean looks at me and frowns. "I have known that you would never break a promise to me. Everything you have ever promised you have done. A promise from you is as good as done. So how do I trust you now?" Dean starts to speak but I keep going. "It's not just that Dean. There is countdown that is constantly ticking away in my head. All I hear all day is tick, tick, tick, at night it just ticks to the point where it's hard to sleep. Every tick brings me a second closer to losing you. I can't imagine not spending every last second with you just in case we can't beat this. How could you not want to spend all of your seconds with the people who love you? That girl doesn't care about you. She won't care that you never call and she wouldn't care if you told her you only had a few months left. I... Sam and me we love you and want to spend whatever time we have left just in case. How could you rather spend your precious moments with her Dean." Shit I almost said it. Good save.

There is a long silent pause in the car after my rant. Dean gets that look on his face again that he is thinking. "First of all I am sorry I broke my promise Lara. I wish I had a good reason for doing it but I don't. I am sorry I broke your trust. I don't want to spend my time, what could be my last moments of time, with anyone but you... and Sam of course. I wasn't thinking. I just acted. It had been so long and I just felt... God I fucked up. Plain and simple, I, Dean Winchester fucked up. I know that no amount of begging or pleading will change that. I fucked up. I may have fucked up so bad that this," Dean flicks his hand between the two of us. "Is unfixable. But Lara I will spend the last seconds of my life trying to fix it and make you trust me again. I will make it the last thing I do if it comes to that. No one in this world is more important than you."

I can tell he means it. It breaks my heart but I can't just forgive him like that. "If I am so important than why did you do it Dean?" I ask quietly and look back out the window. The car is silent again for a while and then he starts to speak. "Men are stupid creatures Lara. Sometimes we don't think with our brains or even our hearts. Sometimes we think with our dick and that's it. I haven't been with a girl in a long time and well my dick said do her. I know it's not an excuse or even a good reason but it's all I got. I just needed to fuck someone and she was there."

"So what if she hadn't have been there?" I ask. I don't know what I hope to get as a response for that. I know he's not going to say what I want to hear. He shrugs. "I don't know Lara. I guess I would have found someone else or jerked off in the shower." He says with a smirk. I punch him in the arm.

"I'll forgive you but I won't forget this Dean. It will take time for me to trust you again. Your broke your promise and it hurts." He reaches across and grabs my hand and squeezes it. "Thank you and I promise that I will make you trust me again."

We drive in silence again but this time it's not as pained. We pull up the hotel and I can't help but drop my jaw. I know it was going to be nice hell I saw the pictures online but this is nice. We pull up to the curb and a bell hop opens the door for me and I get out. Another one is at the trunk but Dean shoos them away. No one should poke around in that trunk. He grabs our bags and waves at the valet. "I'll be out in a minute to take my car to the lot no one drives her but me." The valet rolls his eyes but I can't help but laugh.

Jesus the lobby might be the nicest room I have ever been in. I look around and Dean tenses a bit. I know he hates fancy places like this. He puts on an attitude and walks up to the desk with a cocky stagger. "Dean Singer I called a few hours ago." He says smiling at the receptionist has he leans against the counter. She blushes and looks at her keyboard. "Yes I was the one who talked to you on the phone. I have your room ready. Can I get a card on file." She can hardly make eye contact with him without blushing. Great I wonder if Dean's dick and going to be making decisions again tonight. Dean reaches into his pocket pulls out his wallet and hands over a card and then surprises me by pulling me into him. He nuzzles his face into my hair for a moment and kisses my temple.

"It's our first vacation together." He says with a blush. Dean has always been good at playing whatever alias he is at the moment. I think I could actually believe him at this moment. We must look like some smitten couple showing up at a hotel for a vacation.

The receptionist tries to hide her disappointment and if I wasn't so tuned in to other peoples expressions I may have missed the moment of disappointment on her face but I catch it easily. "Well welcome. I had the champagne sent to your room with an ice bucket about 30 minutes ago. It should be nice and cold. Have a wonderful stay." She hands us our keys and Dean turns around not letting go of me and we head of to the elevators.

Once we are on the elevator I give him a confused look. "What do you think they would buy that we just left a hunt and are on our way to another one?" I chuckle and I follow Dean to our room. He slides the key in and opens the door. If I thought the lobby was nice... Wow.

Dean turns around and smiles at me. "Well this is nice." He says with a smirk and takes our bags further into the room. I stop in a sitting room and take in the modern looking sofa and chairs with the huge flat screen TV. Behind the sofa I see a door leading to the bedroom where there is a huge white bed sitting in. Wow that looks comfy. "I'll sleep on the couch tonight don't worry." Dean mumbles out.

I shake my head no. "It's fine Dean. We have shared a bed for years now." I walk into the bathroom and let out a moan over the shower. It's huge and has three different shower head. "I am taking a shower." I mutter out. Dean chuckles behind me and hands me my bag.

"Get ready we are still going to go to dinner. Wear something nice." He says with a wink. Then shuts the door behind him. I take my time getting ready. I know that Dean is going to go down and park his baby and that should take him at least 20 mins plus what it will take him to get dressed himself. I just relax under the spray of the water. It feels good.

I said I forgave him but that doesn't mean I am still not pissed as hell! Nor does it mean I can fully trust him yet. I need to get over him and find someone who will care for me the way I need to be cared for, the way I need to be loved. I always hoped Dean would be the one to do those things but he isn't capable of it. He'll never feel for me what I feel for him.

After my shower I take my time putting on my makeup. I pull my dress out of my bag and look at myself in the mirror. This is the same dress I wore on my date with Adam, the same night I found out I only had a year with Dean left. I had bought this dress to make Dean want me.

Maybe I should call Adam up sometime. We have texted and called each other a few times in the last few months. He is a nice guy. I know he could love me the way I love Dean, but could I ever grow to love him like I love Dean? Would it even by fair to him for me to try and have a relationship with him when I am hopelessly in love with Dean?

Before I can debate that further there is a knock on the door. I open it and Dean is holding two glasses of champagne and he hands me mine. His gaze travels up and down my body then he smiles at me. "You look nice Lara." He says with a smirk and just a bit of pink covers his cheeks.

"You don't clean up to bad yourself." I reply. He is in part of FBI get up with a pair of dress pants and a blue striped dress up shirt that is unbuttoned on the top without a tie. He more than cleans up nice he looks like a sex god. I take my glass and he clinks his with mine. "To a new night." He says and I nod in agreement.

Gabriel's POV

I followed them the rest of the night. I needed to make sure that I didn't need to kill Dean. I know their entire life plan, I've known it before they were even born, doesn't make this any easier though. I hate having to watch her hurt when I know it could be so easily avoided.

They seem happy at dinner. I don't understand how they don't see it? They both stare at each other when the other isn't looking and get nervous when they think they are caught. They both find the need to make up some fake story that they are a couple when there is no one around who even cares why they are here! I just want to hit their heads together and scream "KISS ALREADY!" But I can't. I knew it when I signed up for this duty. Doesn't make it any easier though.

After dinner they went dancing, more of an excuse to touch each other without it seeming weird. Everyone around them can feel the lust pouring off of them but them. Hell I think half the people from the bar are going to go home and have sex tonight because of how hot and bothered Lara and Dean made them but they don't see it. I wonder if this is one of my father's jokes sometimes.

They get back to the hotel change and both crawl into bed together. Nothing romantic about that is there? Jeez theses are two of the blindest, most obstinate, foolish humans in the world but I love them both very much. I love Lara more even though I shouldn't but I still love Dean. I have known him since he was just a sparkle of a soul. Lara is about to seize up in pain from a nightmare and Dean is already awake and comforting her.

"I am here brother you can go if you want." Castiel says quietly behind me. I turn around slowly and nod at him. "She forgave him but she is still in pain. Just watch over her and I'll see you tomorrow." I tell him.

I know I am not supposed to meddle and technically I won't be meddling, Loki will be meddling. He owes me and I am cashing in a favor. I appear next to him and his eyes flash wide and for a moment he is nervous then he breaks into a smile and claps my back. "Well Gabriel to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?"

I roll my eyes and smile back. "I am cashing in one of the favors you owe me." He smiles bigger and starts to get excited. He loves messing with people. "Two people, Lara Maywin and Dean Winchester, are showing up tomorrow to investigate the guy you are currently punishing. I need you to make Dean realize that he loves Lara and needs to tell her."

Loki laughs, like full belly laughs. "Why do you care about the love lives of humans Gabriel? Are you that bored in your immortality?" He continues to laugh. I slam him against the wall wiping the smug laugh right off his face. "No that is not it. Lara is very special to me and it makes me angry when she is sad. So I need you to make it so she isn't sad anymore."

"I will take care of it. You might not like how I do it but I will do it." He tells me. I shake my head in agreement. "Just don't hurt her."

"I won't really hurt her doesn't mean Dean won't know that." Loki isn't dumb enough to cross me. He knows I could kill him with a blink of an eye. Besides I would venture to say we are even friends. We've known each other for so long I can hardly remember when we meet.

I suppose to him it wouldn't make sense why I care so much about Lara. Truth be told only God and I truly know why I care for her so much. A few centuries after Adam and Eve were kicked out of the garden I fell in love with a woman on earth. It was after the nephilim debacle and angels were still leery of interacting with humans but I loved her. The first time I saw her I knew I had to have her. I went to my father and begged him to let me go to earth to be with her. He allowed me to under one condition. I could only go has a human. So I lived a mortal life with her. None of the other angels know about this. They think I was on a mission for our father. In the end I guess I was. I lived a nice normal mortal life with her. We had children and we grew old together. When I died my father gave me my grace back and I went back to being an angel. My wife went to heaven and I still visit her from time to time. She isn't my mate but I love her deeply.

Come to find out the reason my father had no problem letting me go to earth is that he needed me too. Lara is the last one of my blood line. She needed my blood in the past to be such a great vessel. It's why her mother could hold me and how Karen could hold me if I asked her too. Lara is my father only knows how many great granddaughter. I would never tell her this because it would just confuse her but she is and I love her more because of that. I just want her to be happy. I know she will be some day but these trials in her life are so hard for me to sit back and watch happen when I could fix them. I could have resurrected Sam and kept Dean from ever selling his soul, but I am not allowed too. I could have saved her parents but it was forbidden. So I do what I can when I can to make things better for her.

a/n thanks for reading and leave a review if you get a chance. I hope you liked it!


	45. Chapter 45

Dean's POV

I can't do this again. "I love rock and roll put another dime in the juke box baby..." starts blaring out of the clock radio again. It must be the 100th time or more that this has happened. "Turn it up Dean I love this song!" Lara shouts out from the bathroom.

She comes dancing out of the bathroom in a dark purple tank top and panties. She is full on dancing in front of the bathroom like she has every time I have woken up for months. "I love rock and roll..." She starts singing.

I love seeing her like this every morning. She looks so relaxed and carefree. And does she looks sexy. Her hips sway to the music in her black panties and her eyes close just slightly. Sometimes I tell her what's happening sometimes I don't. Sometimes she believes me sometimes she doesn't. I have seen her die every way possible. The first time was still the most shocking. We were looking into that mystery spot when the fucking owner came in acting like a hero and shot Lara. I held her has the last bit of life was sucked out of her. I thought she died and it was over. Then I woke up in this stupid motel room and she was singing again.

For awhile I thought I was dreaming. But every day I woke up and it's Tuesday. The same Tuesday. It's the same song on the radio that wakes me up and Lara dancing and singing in the same sexy purple tank top and sinfully amazing black panties. "Wanna go get some breakfast?" She asks me has the song finishes up. I shake my head yes and I start to get ready.

It's hard to keep track of how many ways I have seen her die now. Hell I've lost track of how many Tuesdays I have lived. I know it's over 100 but then I lose count. There has been simple deaths like getting hit by a car or a stray bullet hell even an arrow once. Those were more predictable more acceptable. I could handle those in a way.

Then there have been the absolutely crazy ones. There was the sweet puppy that just ripped out her throat and she bleed out in my arms. There was the piano that fell from the sky and smashed her into a pancake.

Once I thought we made it. I was out of the town but we ran out of gas and we stopped at the gas station. I went into get some food while Lara offered to pump the gas. I was standing in the line when I looked out and she smiled at me. It was a beautiful smile. Her dark blue eyes were shining and she looked so happy. Her dark hair was whipping around her face and I just wanted to be able to run my fingers through it. I smiled back at her. I know that if anyone was looking at me they would have laughed and said that I whipped. I know my smile was idiotic and love struck. Then a spark hit and the pump caught on fire and she blew up. Then the next morning happened and I woke up.

The most bizarre was maybe 20 Tuesdays ago but who knows how many really. We made it pretty far. I was able to keep her out the line of fire and It was near night and I thought maybe I kept her alive. She was coming out of the bathroom which made me nervous to begin with. She has already drowned in the bathroom, been electrocuted by free hair dryer falling into the water, slipped on the wet tile and split her head open, and some how choked on her tooth brush once and died. So needless to say the bathroom was a dangerous place for her but I couldn't get her not to go. I heard the toilet flush and the water turn off and I assumed we could make this. She walked over to me and gave me a supportive hug. She knew how stressed I was and how horrible this has been on me. I kissed the top of her head and just kept holding her. I didn't want to let go. I couldn't help from inhaling deeply. She smells so amazing. She smells like home to me. I pulled away slightly and I meet her eyes. She met my gaze and we locked eyes. I couldn't look away. I started to lean in and her eyes started to close just slightly. I knew this was it I was finally going to kiss her. I imagined it all in that one moment. I was going to lean in and just brush my lips against hers. I would pull back and look into her eyes and she would smile at me. Her eyes would be shining with love and happiness and I would lean back down and slowly caress her lips with mine. It would be enough at first to just explore her lips. I would leave feather light kisses on them and then pull her bottom lip between mine and just know what it's like to able to touch the woman I have been in love with for so long the way I want too. After I fully explored her lips I would start to explore the seam of her lips with my tongue and she would open for me. But before my lips could meet hers she started to seize up. She pushed me away then she spontaneously combusted. I didn't handle that one well. When I woke up I jumped out of the bed and held her to me for hours. I explained to her what was happening and she just let me hold her to me. I memorized every curve of her body and how she felt in my arms. I don't know if we'll ever get out of this loop and I need what I can get. After a few hours she convinced me to go out and get food with her when she choked on her meal and died.

I have tried to keep her safe. I have kept her in the room and that always ends in death. There was the black widow spider that bit her. Then there was the springs in the mattress that all popped and punctured her lungs and heart. Oh and how can I forgot the time the bed from upstairs feel through the ceiling and impaled her. And the time she tripped on the carpet and flew forward shoving her face out the window and part of the glass come falling down decapitating her.

So keeping her in the room doesn't work. So I have taken her to the library hoping to research there. But that hasn't gone any better. The book stacks feel over on her once. Two boys throwing pencils at each other missed and the pencil went into her eye and punctured her brain and she died instantly. The computer she was on blew up. And how can I forget the coffee machine that busted covering her in boiling water that killed her. I fucking hate the library but I had to research. I got very little done but I was able to rule out some things.

We have tried every restaurant in this town and they all end the same, death. She somehow acquired allergies here and they have killed her numerous times. Peanuts were the most dangerous but a freak bout with a potato allergy was the most shocking.

We get to the dinner and take a seat. I don't bother looking over the menu I have seen it so often. "Lara I need to tell you something." She looks up at me slightly confused but smiles just like she does every time I decide to tell her. "We are living in some kind of loop. We have been here for over a 100 Tuesdays and you die every day and it restarts."

Confusion washes over her face and she stutters for a moment. "What are you talking about Dean?" We both say at the same time. It usually helps if I do this to make her believe me faster. "Dean what are you doing? Dean stop it! Dean I swear to god why are you copying me! Shit you're not kidding are you!"

I give her an apologetic smile and reach across the table and grab her hands. "I am not kidding and we need to find a way to stop this before I go crazy. I can't watch you die another time. It's killings me."

"How did I die last?" She asks me. I close my eyes for a moment and shake my head. The last time wasn't easy. It was difficult and incredibly painful for me.

"We made it pretty far into the day. Sometimes you get taken out before we even leave the room but yesterday we made it till about 4. We were walking down the street when a car passed us and kicked up a piece of litter on the side of the road. It lodged into your kidney and you bleed out slowly and painfully. I held you while you died." I finished in almost a whisper. I can feel the tears pushing behind my eyes begging to be released.

Lara is out of her seat in a moment and she slides into my side of the booth putting her arms around me. She pulls me to her and rests my head on her chest while she runs her fingers through my hair. "I am sorry you have to go through this Dean. We will find a way to stop it." She tells me has she leans down and kisses my forehead.

Her phone rings like it does every day at this time if we make it this far. "Sammy." I say off handedly has she pulls her phone out her pocket and answers it. I don't bother listening I know what the conversation is about.

"Sam and Jo are going to go to take care of a possible succubus in some suburban community. They came across it on their way to see some psychic." She catches the look on my face and blushes slightly. "But I guess you already knew that didn't you." I shake my head yes. I am just so exhausted.

There's a man sitting at the bar like he is every morning and I can't seem to stop looking at him. Something is off today. I just can't tell what. "What would you like sir?" The waitress asks him. He looks up and smiles at her. "Pancakes with strawberry syrup."

Oh hell no. Everyone does the same thing every day. He gets two eggs, toast, hash browns, and bacon every morning. This isn't right. Lara feels me tense beneath her and she pulls away to look at me. "That man is some how part of this." I whisper to her. I'm not the man I was when I came into this town. I've seen too much to be the same. No one should have to see the love of their life die over and over again.

Being here has made me come to terms with what I feel for her. Facing losing her everyday has forced me to know what I am losing. I watch the missing part of my heart die every day. Every time she dies it physically hurts me. I've accepted that If things had been different and I wasn't going to be dead in a few months, if we ever get out of this loop, that I would have to man up and try to make this work with her. I know now that if I wasn't dying the only way for me to live is with her by my side. Even if she didn't feel the same way about me I would have had time to try and change her mind and man I would have loved the chance. If there wasn't a ticking time bomb over my head I would have wooed her and she would have fallen head over heels in love with me like I am with her. I would have put my pride aside and done whatever chick flick trick I needed to do to make her love me. Moonlight walks, candle light dinners, hell music outside her bedroom window. I would have done it all and I would have loved doing it. Then when all of that failed I would have pulled out the big guns. I would have found a vampire hunt for her to decapitate some of them. Then I would have found a demon for her to exorcise. I would have found a way to make the demon help me propose to her. Maybe I would have promised him a quick death if he played along with it and when Lara poured holy water on him and asked him what he wanted he would have yelled out "Will you marry Dean?" Yeah that would have been the way to my girls heart. The thought of it, making her fall in love with me, just makes me feel warm and tingly all over. But I can't think like that. I can't tell her how I feel, force her to fall in love with me, then go to hell for eternity. That's not fair to her. I want to give her the best chance at a happy life and that chance has its best bet without her knowing about how I feel for her. I don't want her to agree to loving me out of pity because she knows where I am going and even worse I don't want her to have to live without me if she feels the same way about me that I feel about her. I knew I signed up to going to hell but knowing I am going there and will never see her again hurts me enough to make me fall to my knees.

Our food comes but we are both watching the man at the counter waiting for him to make a move or do something to give himself away. After 30 minutes or so he finally pays his bill. I throw down some bills, grab Lara's hand and pull her out of the booth. We trail him trying to keep him from noticing us. Lara is slightly shaky and I know she is nervous. I have just told her that she has died over and over again and now I am trying to make her face the creature who might be in control of her life.

The man takes a sharp right and I tighten my grip on Lara's hand and try to keep myself in front of her slightly. If I turn this corner and he is there guns blazing I am going to take the hit. We turn the corner and he's still walking down the alley. We quietly follow him avoiding trash cans and broken bottles. He takes a left and we turn the corner.

For a moment I don't see him then I feel it. Lara is ripped from my grip and I twist around to find her being pulled towards the wall of the alley. I run to her but I run into a invisible wall. "LARA!" I yell pounding into her invisible prison. I can see Lara's lips screaming my name and her fists pounding on the same barrier I am but I can't hear her. "LARA!" I scream again trying to get to her.

That's when I hear another noise. A laugh. I whip around pulling my gun out of its holster and aiming it at the man laughing behind me. I pull the trigger without thinking but when I do my gun only shots out a flower. I know I must look absolutely ridiculously has I turn my gun around and look in the barrel to see a flower. "Dean we should talk before you try to shoot me. Besides bullets can't kill me." He says calmly.

I throw my gun down and start to charge him, my fists ready to pound his face to a pulp. He puts his hand up and rolls his eyes and I stop right in front of him. "I am not trying to hurt her Dean." He sighs out.

Oh that gets me pissed. "YOU'RE NOT TRYING TO HURT HER?!" I yell at him trying to push against whatever force is keeping me from him. "Then why have you killed her so many times I can't even count them all?" My blood is boiling with rage now.

"I have been trying to teach you a lesson Winchester." He replies. He sounds bored by me. "What lesson you evil asshole?" I retort.

The man flashes a look at Lara. I turn around slightly to see her still pounding against the wall. I want to have her in my arms so badly so I know she is safe but I can't get to her. "I am not evil..." And he gives me a devilish grin. "but nor am I quite good either. You guys came into town while I was punishing a truly evil man. He is learning a lesson. He cheated people out of their life savings and didn't care. He didn't care who was hurt as long as he pockets were lined. Well he is now paying retribution. Then you two came into town. I see the timer over your head human. You don't have much time left and I could sense you felt for that girl. You love her. I wanted to realize it and maybe grow a pair and do something about it."

I don't think he could have said anything to shock me more. "You did all of this to make me realize I love Lara? Are you fucking kidding me? I already knew that you asshole. I have known I am in love with her for so long I almost forgot who I am without that feeling in me."

"I wanted you to realize it and tell her human." He tells me. I shake my head furiously. "I can't tell her."

That gets a laugh out of him. "I don't understand you. You have the woman of your dreams, quite literally, and you don't just reach out an claim her."

"How can I?" I yell at him. I don't mean to look like a petulant child but I can't help but stomp my foot. "If I tell her and I die in a few months she will be left alone. I will make her admit she loves me then leave her forever. That is beyond cruel. I can be content with the time we have left without stealing her heart and leaving her broken."

He just shakes his head in mockery. "Tell me Dean. You have watched her die every day for the past 185 Tuesdays, unlike you I kept count, have you loved her any less every time she died. If you could have had it would you have known she loved you every time she died. Would you not have rejoiced if every time the last words on her lips were I love you Dean. Despite the fact that you knew she was dying and you would never hold her again. Would you have considered it cruel to have that knowledge."

I can't meet his eyes. Of course that would have been amazing. I would given my limbs to have her tell me she loved me just once while she laid there. He snickers slightly. "Do you imagine it would be much different for her. When you go she will wake up every night from the nightmare of you dying. Every morning it will be like you were killed all over again. Don't you want to give her the comfort that you loved her?"

My body turns around to look at her again. She has stopped hitting the barrier and is leaning against the wall in defeat. I can see the tears pooling in her beautiful cobalt eyes. She runs her fingers through her hair and pulls it out of her face. Lara notices I am looking at her and she flicks a weak smile at me. I smile back at her reassuringly. I am going to make sure she walks out of this. I turn back and face him. "When I die I want her to feel free to move on and marry some wonderful guy that my brother will no doubt test over and over again to make sure is good enough for her. I want her to get out of hunting and move into some nice home in suburbia with a white picket fence. I want her to have babies and maybe if I am lucky she will name one of them after me. She will tell her baby Dean about her best friend who died when she was still young before she meet the baby's daddy." I turn slightly and look back at her. I want that for her. I can see her walking down the aisle with Bobby holding her arm giving her away to that mystery man. Jo and Sam standing in has her brides maids. I can see her laughing and smiling has that man picks her up and carries her across the threshold to their new home and kisses her softly like I wished I could have. I can also see her rubbing her pregnant stomach talking to the baby that I wish was mine but it's not. "If I tell her how I feel I know out of guilt she will never move on and won't have those things."

The man looks almost sad. "I feel sorry for you Winchester. You are going to regret this when you are on the rack. The memories of her with you would have given you the strength you needed to survive. I can only teach you the lesson I can't make you do anything. You are free to go." He disappears in front of me and I finally hear Lara's voice behind me. "Dean!"

I turn around and grab her has she throws herself in my arms. "I thought he was going to kill us. What happened. What was that?" She asks into my chest has she nestles into me. I just hold her into me. Taking solace in the fact that she is alive.

"He was just messing with me. He knew I was a hunter and wanted to mess with me. He promised we were free. Let's get out of here. I want this town in baby's rearview mirror in 30 minutes or less." I tell her kissing the crown of her head. She looks up at me and I can tell she doesn't quite believe me but is willing to let it be enough.

Within 23 minutes the town is in our rearview mirror just like I wanted. I don't have it in me to stay in that town and try to save that guy. He was a bad guy getting his lesson taught to him. I am not risking Lara for him.

I refuse to pull over until I am out of the state even. I don't want to risk him finding us and hurting her again. After 14 hours I can't drive anymore and Lara's head keeps lowering down has she falls asleep. I find a cheap hotel and pull over for the night. I get us a room and pull in front of it.

We do our getting ready for bed routine. I take a quick shower and brush my teeth. It is probably my first shower in 185 days. It feels awesome to be clean again. I come out in to the room in a towel while Lara grabs her toiletry bag and heads in after me. I dry off and put on a pair of light weight sweats and a new tshirt. I check our salt lines and paint out a devils trap in front of the door while she gets ready. The water shuts off and pretty shortly after the door opens. Lara comes out surrounded by a cloud of steam. The way the bathroom light is reflecting through the mist in the bathroom makes her looks like this is some kind of movie scene. All I want to do is run across the room gather her in my arms and kiss her senseless. But I can't. I drop my face unable to look at what I can't have for a moment longer when she looks so perfect like that. Completely unaware of her sway over me she turns off the light to the bathroom and moves to her side of the bed. She is wearing one of my old tshirts and it brushes just over the top of her knees.

"The traps down?" She asks pulling back the blanket and getting into the bed. I shake my head yes. I get in the bed next to her and turn off the light. I lie there for 30 minutes unable to sleep. I hear her breathing softly next to me. Her scent overwhelming me. How does she manage to smell like a spring day? I can't take it anymore. I creep closer to her so I don't startle her. I put my arms around her and pull her into me. She doesn't fight me. I pull her into me and curl my body around her protectively. "Dean?" She asks quietly.

I take a deep breath. Her scent filling me lungs. "He said it was 185 times Lara. I saw you die 185 different ways. It was the worst 185 days of my life hands down. Nothing will ever be has horrible has that has long as my soul lives. I just..." I take in another breath of spring air trying not to break. I don't want her to hear my cry. I don't cry god dammit I am Dean fucking Winchester. "I just need to hold you for a bit Lara. I need to know you're alive."

Lara moves around in my arms until she is facing me. She leans in closer and kisses my jaw. "I can't even imagine what that must have been like. You can hold me has long as you need till you know I am alive." I smile at her weakly and she cuddles into my chest and slowly drifts off to sleep. It doesn't take me long now. I have her in my arms I can rest.

Gabriel's POV

"What was that Gabriel? Who would dare hurt our girl?" Castiel yells out next to me. I give him a steely glare to make him calm down. "I will handle it Castiel. You stay here and watch her. I will be back."

I leave Castiel in the hotel room watching over our girl. He will take care of her for the time I need to kill me a trickster! I arrive back where I meet him last time only this time he is sitting down waiting for me. "What! Did! You! Do!" I tell at him.

The shit eating grin that normally graces his face drops quickly. He knows I can kill him with a thought. He starts to stutter. "You told me to make him realize he loves her. I did that Gabriel. Hopefully he'll tell her."

"Yes I told you to make him realize he loves her. Not to kill her 185 times! I am going to really enjoy smiting you Loki!" I am usually able to control my emotions but her hurt my girl. I know the air around me crackling with my ready to smite grace. He looks nervous, he should be. He just pissed of an archangel!

"I didn't actually hurt her. To Dean this was all very real. I never actually touched her. She was never hurt. I swear to you Gabriel." I can tell he is telling the truth and I start to calm down. The air around me stops crackling slowly and I let it shimmer down bit by bit not speaking to him. Keeping a cold hard stare on him. "You are lucky." I tell him has I fly back to the room.

Dean is finally resting. I have watched over that boy since he was born and I have never seen him so broken down. Every time Lara moves his grip gets tighter trying to keep her to him. Castiel is leaning over the bed watching them both sleep . My poor brother has no idea how creepy that is.

I walk to the bed and I touch Dean's forehead making sure he will stay asleep. I gently nudge Lara and her eyes slowly open. When she sees us tries to move but Dean tightens his grip again and actually lets out a whimper. "Don't try to move Lara. He needs you right now."

Lara looks from Castiel to me. "What happened back there?" She asks us sleep still in her voice. I lean down and kiss her forehead. "It was a trickster Lara. He was just playing a trick on Dean but it's over now I can assure you."

She nods to me and Castiel moves the hair out of Lara's face. "Are you guys going to stay tonight?" She asks. I shake my head yes. "We will be outside tonight. You both deserve a night alone." She smiles at me and we pull away. Her eyes shut again and she is asleep in minutes. Castiel and I stand there for a moment watching them.

"He does love her doesn't he brother." Castiel says quietly to me. I put my arm around his shoulder. "He does brother he does. Let's leave them be."

a/n Sorry for the delay. Thesis nearly killed me this semester. I finally got it done and I relax a bit more now. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. If you have time please review!


	46. Chapter 46

Lara's POV

It's so warm. It's not the middle of summer so why am I so toasty? I slowly open my eyes and am greeted by the sight of Dean's chest. Well that would explain why it is so warm. My face is cuddled into his chest and his arms are pining me to him. I move just a little to see if he is awake and he lets out a an angry moan so I just lay there and relax.

He told me about watching me die 185 times and that upset him I guess I didn't realize how much it must have affected him. We usually share a bed if Sammy is with us but take our beds when it's just us until I have a nightmare. Then he will wake me up and hold me till I am asleep. But last night was about his sanity not mine. He was the one who needed me. That really never happens it's always me that needs him. I kind of like how it feels.

To be honest I have lost track of time since I have woken up. I have dozed in and out for quite awhile I suspect before Dean starts to rouse. "Lara?" He murmurs out. "Right here Dean." I say with a chuckle.

That gets him awake. He jumps a bit but doesn't let go of me and looks down at me nestled in his chest and smiles crookedly. "Did you sleep well?" I shake my head yes and lay my head down on his arm has we wake up. "Yeah I did too. I was exhausted it seems like forever since I got a good night sleep." His right arm flings out behind him and grabs his cell phone on the table while his left arm is still my pillow and holds me close to him. "Shit we slept for like 12 hours. I guess we should be getting up."

"Why? Not like we got a hunt. We can take a day to relax." I respond with a yawn not quite ready to leave my comfortable spot. For a moment Dean doesn't respond. I think he may be considering my suggestion but then he shakes his head no. "We should at least get further away today. I don't want to risk that thing deciding to find us and play so more. Besides doesn't Sammy have a hunt?"

"Yeah but him and Jo are on it. They shouldn't need us. And after what you just went through you deserve a small break. I guess we can head out. Do you think we find a motel with a pool next? I feel like swimming." Dean chuckles. "I'll see what I can do."

It takes a lot of will power but I get out of Dean's embrace and start to get ready for the day. He is a bit clinger then normal today. At breakfast or I guess I should say lunch he sits on my side of the booth and has pretty much kept one part of his body on me at all times. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. If it was me I would be the same way. I'm just not used to him being like this.

The drive is fun and just relaxed. We aren't really heading anywhere so we just drive for the fun of it. I know we should be working on his deal and trying to find a loop hole but we need this moments too. Just relaxing together like we don't have a care in the world.

We take back country roads all day. The windows down, the wind blowing the dirt behind us, AC DC blaring out the speakers. I'm relaxed in the passenger seat with my feet hanging out the window just singing along to the music. Poor Dean is a bit tone death but I don't care. We are having fun.

12 hours gets us pretty far even if I am still not quite sure where we are. We pull into a small motel one of the bigger towns we've seen in that last 12 hours that has a pool. We pull in and Dean jumps out to get a room for the night. I am a bit surprised when we open the door and there is only one bed again. I guess he still needs to be near me. I don't say anything about it and drop my bag on the bed. I dig through it until I find my bikini that is buried at the bottom of bag from disuse. I can't remember the last night we just kind of relaxed. I guess it was before Jess died. "I'm gonna change and head to the pool. You wanna come?" I ask heading into the bathroom to change.

Dean gives me a quick grin and pulls his trunks out from the bottom of his bag too. "Yeah I'll change out here."

I quickly change into my swim suit and adjust it in the mirror. This was actually a suit that Jess had gotten for me. I had almost forgotten about it. It's a sapphire blue bikini that is not to skimpy and it has gold accents on it. Jess said she saw it and thought I would like it. I guess I thought I'd not miss her so much almost 3 years later. I mean Sam seems to have gotten over her. I don't mean to but there are just a few tears in my eyes. I wipe them off my cheeks and head outside. Dean takes one look at me and sees I'm upset. He crosses the room quickly and pulls me into his arms. "Hey squirt what's wrong?"

I shrug my shoulders. "Jess had gotten me this suit and it just made me think about her." He hugs me tightly for a few minutes then kisses the top of my head. "Sam is a bit of chameleon isn't he? I don't think he even knows it though. When he is with you he is committed to only you. He thinks the sun rises and sets on you. But if you go away he is able to heal and find someone else to put that faith it. That may be a bit harsh but I've noticed he's a bit like that." I look up at Dean and he has serious expression on his face. Dean isn't like that. When he falls I know he is going to fall hard and that is going to be it for him. It's just his way . God I wish I was the girl he would fall for.

"Sammy isn't like us Lara. He is a bit more practical I guess. He is able to forget and heal quicker. It's not better or worse it's just different."

"I just don't know how he does it Dean. I mean I wasn't engaged to her and I still miss her." I know I sound whiney I just don't get it. "I'm not quite sure either. I know that for me if I had what he had with Jess I would never have gotten over her. I would have been a done deal." I look up at him and I wish I could be his done deal. He looks at me and we just stop for a moment. For just a brief moment I think he might kiss me. Then he drops his arms and takes a step back. "Let's go swimming." He says with a smirk.

We play in the water for awhile and just enjoy our care free day. It may be one of the best days I've had a long time. My stomach starts to rumble and I look at Dean has his does too and we both laugh at each other. "Wanna get a pizza, some beer, and just watch a movie in the room?" I ask pulling the towel around myself.

"Yea that sound great." Dean says getting the rest of our stuff. When we get back to the room I grab my clothes and quickly change. By the time I am done Dean is changed and sitting in one of the chairs next to the pretty beat up table in our room. "Why don't I go out and get it?" I suggest pulling on my shoes.

Dean shakes his head and jumps up. "I'll get it. I saw a place down the street. Why don't you pick a movie for us while I'm gone. Besides we still got a few weeks until you can legally buy beer." I laugh at him and throw my shoes in my duffel across the room. Dean leaves with a quick wave and I lay back on the bed and flip through the tv.

I feel the pressure in the air start to change and all the hair on my arms start to stand up. I instinctively grab my gun and walk to the window. I move the curtain just slightly and look outside. SHIT! Before I can react the air in the room changes and I whip around aiming my gun at the intruder. I let out a sigh of relief when I see it's just my Uncle Gabriel. "Lara I need you to stay here and don't go outside."

"What the hell is going on out here?" I shout referring to the large amounts of demons standing outside my room. Uncle Gabe looks around nervously. "They are after you Lara and they have wards up against us. I can't get you out of here until we break them. Balthazar is trying to and Castiel is here now to fight them. Don't worry I'll keep you safe."

There is a loud explosion outside and Uncle Gabe throws me to the ground and covers me with his body. Before I can react he is literally getting pulled away from me and disappears into the wind. Oh fuck this is it!

Despite the traps and salt surrounding our room the demons get in quickly. I manage to keep my own for awhile. I'm a good fighter and with the door being the only entrance it can act has a choke point but I'm only one person. Before I know what is happening the room is flooded with demons the stench of rotting flesh is overwhelming. I know I am fucked. I have a pretty nasty bump on my head that is making me dizzy and nauseas. My leg is really fucked up. It's broken and the bone is sticking through the skin. I think I have a few broken ribs and my shoulder is dislocated. I don't think I'm going to make it much longer. I never got the chance to tell Dean I love him.

The pressure changes and an African American gentlemen appears in the middle of the room with an angel blade pulled. It takes me a moment to recognize him but its Uriel. He quickly moves and takes a battle stance in front of me. "Why don't you play with someone your own size." He growls at the demons in the room.

While he fights them off I use the last of my strength to start shouting out an exorcism. I have to do what I can to get rid of them. Some of the demons flee but Uriel manages to use his powers to keep most of them trapped in the room. I can see the pressure of it taking a toll on his vessel and his true form. His grace is flaring out has they still attack him.

I keep reciting the Latin words and try to just stay awake. Uriel's sword gets kicked out of his hands and I see him dive for it but another demon gets it first. I am powerless to do anything has I finish the exorcism right has the demon plunges the blade into Uriel's heart. At the same moment the demons are expelled from the room.

I manage to crawl over to Uriel dragging my injured leg behind me. I can hear the sirens coming in the distance. "Uriel!" I shout out has I make it to him. I manage to grab him into my lap. "What can I do?" I ask helplessly.

He looks up at me with his chocolate eyes and smiles at me. "It is fine little one. Everything is fine." I feel his grace wrapping around me. My leg starts to mend, slowly, and painfully, but it is. "It's alright little one help is on the way." Then his body seizes up and I feel the power of his dying grace flair out. I am left with him in my arms and a burnt imprint of his wings spread out around me. The injuries are too much and I can't stay awake. I feel myself slipping and I fall unconscious on his body.

Dean's POV

The wait at this stupid pizza place is ridiculous. If I had known I would have to wait an hour for a pie I would just hit up the vending machine at the hotel. But I finally got it and it's on the seat next to me with a six pack of beer on the floor. Lara is probably going to think I got lost! I hope she wasn't worried.

The sounds of sirens pull me from my thinking. I look ahead and the area is flooded with ambulances and cops. It takes me a minute but I realize they are all around our motel. LARA! I pull baby over and jump out of the car and run to the police tape. I find the first cop available. "What happened here?" I ask on the verge of a panic attack. I can see the police going in and out of our room.

"We're stilling trying to figure it out. Seems like a gang fight that one of the hotel guests got stuck in the middle of. " He says and it's obvious he has no idea what really happened. The area reeks of sulfur.

I point towards the room that all the activity is surrounding. "Listen that is my room and my wife was in there. Where is she?!" I shout out before I realize I just told the guy that Lara was my wife. His face registers what I said and calls for the sheriff.

Even in the all the chaos the sheriff manages to get to us pretty quickly. He eyes me up and looks to his officer. "What do you need?" He asks him. The officer points to me and says. "This guy says he's the girl we found husband."

The sheriff steps under the tape and pulls me the side. "Sir where were you when the attack took place?" Attack? She was attacked.

"Umm... we were hungry I went to get a pizza down the street but they were swamped. Is she alright? Where is she?" I ask freaking out. I can't stop myself from running my hands through my hair like a crazy person and shifting uncomfortably. I am usually able to stay calm in most situations but not this one. Lara was attacked and by the amount of body bags I see filled in the parking lot she was attacked by a lot of them.

The sheriff looks around to see if anyone is listening. "Look I shouldn't be telling you any of this because it's an investigation but I have never seen anything like this. We found her in the middle of the room holding a stab wound victim surrounded by bodies. It looks like they all managed to kill each other and she was just unlucky enough to be caught in the middle of it. The door and the window were busted in and the manager said he saw them all fighting outside first. It looks like one of them got thrown into the room and it moved inside. She is in critical condition and was taken to the hospital about 5 miles down the road. You get to her and we will talk after all of this is cleared up. I can get your bags from the room if you wait here for just a moment."

I look around the war zone in front of me. How did she survive this? If anything happened to her... The sheriff comes jogging up to me and hands me our duffels and I give him a weak but thankful smile. "Thanks." I have never meet a law official that I could stand but this guy seems decent enough. "Just go be with your wife." He says with an encouraging pat on my back. I run back to baby and drive to the hospital as fast as I can.

Surprisingly the hospital isn't that busy. I guess since all the other victims were already dead Lara was the only survivor. I run inside to the information desk not worrying who I run into. The nurse at the desk looks up at me and I can tell she is worried I am going to make a scene. I think hard back to the name we used at the hotel. "My wife was brought in. She was at the fight out at the motel . Her name last name is Rose. Please I need to see her." I beg.

The nurse looks on her computer and gives me a compassionate smile. "You're wife is still in surgery. It looks like she had some internal bleeding and they needed to get in fast. If go to the waiting room on the second floor I'll alert the doctor to come find you once they are out." I nod at her and take the stairs two at a time to get the waiting room.

Patience has never been one of my virtues. Every tick of the second hand on the clock feels like an eternity. I should be calling Sammy, Bobby, and Karen but I don't want them to worry until I know what is happening. A nurse keeps walking by the waiting room and looking in at me. It's starting to make me a uncomfortable.

After 3 hours 23 minutes and 15 seconds a doctor comes into the waiting room. "Mr. Rose." He announces. I immediately jump up and go to him. "How is my wife?" I ask nervously.

The doctor escorts me to a seat and motions for me to sit. "First of all your wife is alive and in recovery right now. She had extensive injuries but we managed to stop the bleeding. From top to bottom she had a head concussion, a dislocated shoulder, a stab wound to her abdomen, 4 broken ribs, a punctured lung, and her leg seemed to have a stab wound and maybe sprained. I am going to recommend she remain in the hospital for awhile under observation . She should be waking up soon if you want to go to her room."

My heart is pounding so loud I'm surprised everyone around me can't hear it. He escorts to the recovery room and I see her asleep on the bed. She has oxygen going into her nose and numerous IV's. I walk into the room slightly in a daze. The doctor said she would survive but she looks so weak and broken. I get closer and I take in the damage. Her left eye is black and her lip is cut. She also has quite a bruise on her right cheek. Her right arm is in an immobility sling because of her shoulder. I can see the bandages that are tightly wrapped around her chest. Her leg is also bandaged. I fall into the seat next to her and take her left hand gently. "I am so sorry Lara." I cry out. I don't remember the last time I cried.

The sounds of shoes on the linoleum bring me to action. I pivot around quickly putting my body in front of Lara's. It's the nurse that has been watching me all night. "Calm down son. I am not here to hurt you." She says calmly.

"What do you want? You have been watching me all night." I demand. The nurse looks behind her and silently shuts the door and moves closer to me. I keep my stance in front of Lara."

"I know what you are and I know what happened to your wife."

"Yeah and what is that?" I smirk out at her.

Again the nurse looks behind her to make sure no one is listening. "You both are hunters and she was attacked by demons." I begin to open my mouth but she keeps going. "There have been demons looking for her. I have sent them to the wrong floor but I can't keep them away forever. You need to get her and run. My home is nearby and my son is expecting you. I will be home and I will look over her."

"Why are you helping us?" I ask nervously. She gives me a genuine smile. "Someone I cared about was a hunter. I would like to think if he was in a similar situation someone would help him too."

I extend my hand. "My name is Dean what is yours?" If she's a shifter my silver ring should react to her. She shakes my hand and smiles. "I am Kate. Now please get her and go out the back. I'll make sure the coast is clear." She hands me a bag of medical supplies and a small oxygen tank.

When she gets to the door she turns to me and lifts up the arm of her nurses outfit showing an anti possession tattoo. "Christo." She whispers. I give her a grin and look at the paper in my hand that has the address I am going too.

I fling the bag over my shoulder and make sure the tank is safe in the there. I carefully disentangle Lara from the machines. I keep the iv's attaches but in her lap until I can get them hung up again. I pick her up carefully. I put my one arm under the legs and the other gently around her back and pull her face into my chest. I go to the door and quickly check the hall. I look both ways and just like Kate said the coast was clear.

Before I know it we are outside and I am running towards the car. "Dean." She mumbles out in my chest. I kiss the top of her head. "I'm here baby, just hang on. You've been in an accident and I need to get you out of here."

"I hurt." She moans. I tighten my grip around her. "I know you do just hang on." I get to the car and gently put her in the passenger seat. She lets out a groan and I take off my jacket and put it around her shoulders hoping it will keep her warm.

The directions to Kate's house are clear but I need to go slowly to make sure not to jostle Lara. She keeps moaning and groaning and I feel horrible. I extend my hand and take her hand in mine trying to give her some comfort. "I know it hurts Lara. I'll have you in a bed real soon."

The house comes into view and I see the porch light on. I pull into the driveway and get out of the car quickly. I grab the medical bag and open Lara's door. She gives me a miserable look. "I am sorry I have to move you again." She shakes her head weakly and I put my arm under her legs and get her out of the car.

The front door opens before I even get there and I am greeted by a young man. "You Dean?" He asks. I shake my head and get inside. He shuts the door behind me and I let out a sigh of relief. I have her inside somewhere safe hopefully.

Lara starts to move uncomfortably in my arms. "Dean?" She asks. I know she wants to know where we are. She rolls her head out of my chest and looks at the kid in front of us. "Adam?" She squeaks out.

"Lara?" He responds equally confused. "Listen we can do this in a minute I need to get her in a bed." I tell them both. Adam jumps and escorts me to a room I can only guess is a guest room. He opens the door and I walk in and lay Lara down on the queen bed.

I put an extra pillow behind her and she relaxes into the down behind her and lets out a sigh. I open the bag and pull out the collapsible IV rack that Kate packed and set it up. I hang her IVs on it. I then get the oxygen and hook her back up. "You can rest now baby it's alright." I tell her caressing her face. She smile weakly at me and motions towards Adam.

He moves towards her on the other side of the bed. "Are you a hunter Lara?" He asks her. She shakes her head slowly. "Are you?" She laboriously asks.

Adam shakes his head no. "I just found out about all this. My dad was though." He responds. Lara picks up on the term was and gives him a sad smile. "My mom is a nurse and she'll be home soon to look over you. Why don't you rest." He tells her moving towards the door.

I lean over and kiss Lara's forehead. "You rest. I'll be right outside. Call me if you need me." She shakes her head slowly and I can see her falling asleep before I even leave the room. I turn off the light and keep the door only slightly shut.

The boy, I guess his name is Adam, is pacing in the living room. "Listen before we get into how you two know each other never let anyone into your home without testing them first." I grab out a bottle of holy water and a silver knife. I splash us both with and before he can react I knick up both with the knife. "Make sure the person at your door isn't a demon or a shifter."

"Secondly do you have wards up?" He shakes his head yes and takes me to the front door and opens it. He lifts the mat up out front and I see a devils trap. I shake my head in approval. He then shows me the windows that have salt laid down. Lastly he shows me the anti possession tattoo he has on his arm like his mom. "Good at least you are prepared. Ok so how do you know Lara?"

He gives me a nervous look. "I didn't know Lara was married." He says shyly. I take a seat and motion for him to do the same. "She isn't. It's the best way to get to see her in the hospital though if they think we are. They would never deny a husband access to his wife."

Adam shakes his head in understanding. "I guess it's been almost a year now. I meet her at the Roadhouse when I was looking for my dad. He went missing. I never heard from him much but he always came for my birthday. I meet her there and helped her with some assholes that were bothering her. I took her out on a date and then she had to leave quickly because her friend Dean... oh I guess that is you... called and needed help. We have kept in contact on and off and I wasn't expecting her to be on the other side of the door."

I let what he just said soak in. "So your dad was a hunter. Is that how you got into this?" I ask him casually. He shakes his head no. "No, my dad never told us about this stuff. When he went missing I went looking for him. Like I said he wasn't around much growing up just my birthday and the odd visit. So I followed some leads and found out about this life. The last contact I found said he's pretty sure my dad is dead though. Killed on the job I guess."

Poor kid, what a horrible way to find about all this. "Who was your dad? I might have known him. I've been hunting since I was four years old."

HIs eyes nearly bug out at my comment about being four years old when I started but doesn't question me. "John Winchester."

I jump out of my seat and start to move towards Lara's room. He is something alright. "What the fuck game are you playing at?" I scream at him. I grab the gun in the back of my jeans and aim it at him. He looks genuinely confused. "Don't fucking play around with me! What are you?" I shout.

Lara must have heard me yelling because I can hear her trying to call out to me. "Dean what is wrong?" I get to her door and open it getting ready to grab her and run. "This kid says John Winchester his is father." I tell her motioning towards Adam with my gun.

Adam's eyes are as big as saucers. "He is my father! I can prove it. I have a picture in my room." I keep the gun trained on Adam and look down at Lara. "I am going to check this out. You stay here."

The gun stays pointed at Adam as we walk to his room. He flicks on the flight and grabs a photo off his bookshelf and hands it to me. Sure enough there is my dad, well my dad about 10 years ago, with a young Adam at the ball game. "Shit." I sigh out lowering my gun.

A/N I hope you liked the update! Leave a note if you get a chance.


	47. Chapter 47

Dean's POV

Well of just about anything that could happen to me this would be the least expected. My dad had another kid. Not only did he have another kid but he never told he kid about us or us about him. He also didn't leave the family protected with information about hunting. This is just so fucked up.

"Dean what's going on?" Lara weakly calls out from the guest room. I push past Adam and head back to Lara's room. She is leaning against the wall trying to make her way to the hallway. She's still in her hospital gown and she's anything but steady on her feet. I quickly get her back in my arms and lay her back down in the bed. "What you doing trying to get out of bed?" I ask her.

She shrugs her shoulders and then winces in pain. "You come in here freaking out then disappear. I got worried." I pull the cover back up over her and adjust the IV stand next to the bed. "Everything is fine Lara. Adam apparently really is dad's son. We will talk about this tomorrow. You rest."

I can tell she wants to fight me but her lids are winning and shutting again. I turn off the light and head back out to the living room. Adam is standing there pacing and I don't blame him. This is crazy. "Listen I gotta make some calls then we can talk about this." Adam shakes his head and I head to the kitchen to call Bobby and Sammy.

First I dial Bobby. I just hope I can keep him calm enough not to come running out here in panic. Bobby might just come out here to kill me though. I pull the cell phone out of my pants and let it ring . "Hello?" Karen's sleepy voice answers the phone. "Hey Karen, it's Dean is Bobby there?"

It's hard to hear but I can just make out Karen's blurry voice handing the phone to Bobby. "Hey Bobby it's Dean."

"Is she ok?" Bobby asks in a panic. "To start off she is fine Bobby. How did you know something was wrong."

"Because its 330 in the morning you idjit! Now put my baby girl on the phone right now!" Bobby demands through the phone line. I shake my head even though I know he can't see me. "Bobby I can't. Lara is alive but she was attacked..."

"I will be there in as soon as possible. Where are you?" Bobby asks frantically.

"Bobby calm down. Lara is alive. She is just asleep. She was attacked by demons while I went out to get us dinner. I came back and the battle was done. Looks like Lara managed to exorcise them before they killed her. A nurse at the hospital knew what we were and saved Lara from some demons that came looking for her. We are at the nurses house now and she is going to take care of her. You can talk to Lara tomorrow. I am so sorry Bobby. If I could have been the one attacked I would and I promise you I will hunt those bastards down and kill them myself even if I have to do it in hell."

The line is silent for a moment. I wince knowing that Bobby is going to start threatening me. "Don't be blaming yourself boy. I know you didn't get her hurt on purpose. Now I want you to just take care of my girl and bring her home to us. If you think it will help Lara we'll come and make sure she's alright." I really didn't expect him not to threaten to kill me.

"Alright. I'll text you the address and you guys can come out."

"Ok son. Take care of my girl and we'll see you both soon."

I hang up relived that Bobby isn't going to kill me but surprised Bobby isn't going to kill me. I guess don't look a gift horse in the mouth. I am just glad I have half my phone calls done. I text Bobby the address like I promised and take a deep breath for my next phone call. Sam's phone rings 5 times before someone answers. "This better be good Dean." Jo answers the phone breathless. Well I guess I know what they were doing.

"Please put Sam on the phone Jo."

"Yeah, Hi missed you too Dean." Jo spits out sarcastically. I roll my eyes and wait for Sam to pick up the phone. "Hey Dean what's up?" He asks just as out of breath has Jo was.

"Before I get to far in this Lara is fine and alive but she was attacked tonight. She was attacked by countless demons but she's alive. She managed to exorcise them I think before I got there. A nurse I the hospital helped her. There were demons there looking for her and she saved her."

"Holy shit Dean! I will be there in just a few hours. Where are you?" I can tell Sam is freaking out. If I was the one getting this phone call I would be freaking out too.

"Sam it's not that easy. I just got here and there is this kid here. Well this kid is apparently... jesus how do I explain this. He is apparently dad's son." I know that was a horrible way to say it but how else do I say it.

"Excuse me?!" Sam shouts out. "I just found out I am going to talk to him about it. I don't know any details. I'll text you the address and we'll see you tomorrow. Try and rest tonight don't come out here exhausted."

"We are still in the middle of a hunt here. We think we know who it is. We will take care of it tomorrow then we will head out to you guys. Just keep Lara safe."

"Don't worry man I will." Sam hangs up and I don't feel much better then when I started. "Hey Adam can I pull my car into the garage? I don't want any of them to recognize it." Adam shakes his head and opens the door the garage and opens it. I quickly put the car into the garage and come back in. Now I have to go talk to this kid who claims to be my little brother, like I needed another one of those. I open the fridge and pull out two beers and head back to the living room. I twist off the top and hand one to Adam and take a seat across the room from him. "I'm sorry about pulling a gun on your earlier."

Adam shakes his head. "I understand. With what you do I guess that was a better reaction then most." Well it helps the kid knows about this world. "Did you spend a lot of time with our dad?"

I shake my head yes. "I was raised on the road with him. Grew up hunting. You have another brother named Sam. He's my baby brother but I guess he's the middle child now." I say with a laugh.

"I'm sorry about going out with Lara. I didn't know she was taken." He says without looking me in the eyes and his face turning red.

"I told you we aren't married. It's fine." I think I sound pretty ok. I mean I don't sound pissed. I don't sound like I could kill the kid. Which I could since he took my Lara on a date. I hope he didn't kiss her or I might have to hit him, just once.

Adam still won't quite look at me. "But you want to be don't you?" I give him a shocked look. I don't think I could pull off denying it out loud when I do want it. "It's alright I should have seen it back then. She talked about you a lot during our date and left the moment you called."

"We've been partners for a long time." I respond without much force. I can't make him believe what isn't true in this matter. "It's more than that I can tell. I liked her but I can tell she is always going to like you more."

I shake my head no. "Listen there are things about me you don't know. I am not going to be around much longer." He gives me a quizzical look. "I will be dead in a few months and you can have her. In fact I want you too. I don't want her to be alone after I am gone, but give me till then. I don't have much left."

"Are you sick? What happens in a few months?"

"I probably shouldn't tell you but we're related and you need to know what kind of stupid stunts are in your blood. I made a deal with a demon to safe Sammy's life. I got a year. At the end of that year I go to hell. The night you guys were on a date is the night I sold my soul. When I leave Sam will have his girl friend, Jo, and I think they will probably get married. Bobby will have his wife Karen and that is about all that's left who care for me. But Lara will be alone. She will feel alone with the two couples. Give her a few weeks then get in her life. Keep her happy and watch over her. Give it a year or so then make your move. She is going to feel guilty that she is happy and I am dead but tell her I told you that she needs to move and be happy and I think that can happen with you." My heart is breaking has I ask this. I don't want to think of him kissing and touching her. I should be the only man to ever kiss and touch her. I should be the one to hold her in my arms every night for the rest of our lives and kiss her lips. But I can't leave her here alone. If I can find someone here to take care of her I will do what it takes to make sure it happens.

Before Adam can respond the nurse, Kate comes in. She has more bags of medical supplies with her and we both jump up. "How is your wife Dean?" She asks me. Before I can respond Adam jumps in. "Mom there is something..."

Kate looks at him and gives him a mom look that says be quiet. "I'll go check on her." She then looks at Adam. "We will talk after I know she is good." Kate just brushes past us and into the guest room is. I follow behind her and I swear I smell chocolate. I know that is weird but the room smells like the candy aisle.

Lara is just barely awake and I can tell her eyes are a bit frantic when she sees Kate come in the room, someone she doesn't know she's meet. I move past Kate and kneel down on the floor next to her so I don't jostle her and grab her hand. "It's alright Lara. This is Kate. She is the nurse who got us safely out of the hospital. She just wants to check you over."

"Ok." She mumbles. I can tell she is in so much pain. I look up at Kate. "Is there anything we can give her for the pain?" Kate checks the iv's and frowns.

"She already is at the max morphine I would give her for her height and weight. I know it is hard to see someone you love in pain but she'll sleep through most of it. I just want to check her stitches and then she can go back to sleep." I squeeze Lara's hand lightly and give her a reassuring smile.

Kate is quite gentle. She pulls the blanket back and smoothly removes the bandages that are all over her body. She looks over them and makes reassuring sounds when she sees them. She applies clean bandages to all her wounds and pulls the blankets back up. "You need to rest dear. Tomorrow we will bathe you and see how you are doing but just try and sleep." Lara shakes her head in agreement and Kate turns around and leaves the room shutting the door behind her.

"How are you doing Lara?" I ask her nervously. She gives me a weak smile. "I am sore but I'm alive. So is Adam really your brother?"

I wish that she would worry about herself right now but I know she is going to worry about that too. "Yeah it looks like he is. How crazy is that huh?" She nods her head in agreement and I can tell she is fighting to stay awake. "I am going to go talk to them some more. I want you to go to sleep. I'll keep the door open and I'll be in soon. If you need me call."

"Ok just let me know you're alright when you come back." With that her eye lids force shut and she's out again. I stand up and lean down and kiss her forehead. I turn off the lamp next to her bed and open the door keeping it cracked open when I leave.

Kate and Adam are huddled together in the living room and they both look up at me when I come in. "So you're John's kid?" She asks me confused. I shake my head yes and approach them in the living room. "Don't worry I am just has surprised has you guys are. If I had known I would have come to you guys right away when he died."

Kate gives me a soft motherly smile. "I know you would have. It's just such a surprise. I can't believe that you're Lara is the same Lara that Adam has been talking about for months too." Adam gives his mom and exasperated sigh. "Mom!" He shouts at her.

"It's not like he doesn't know you guys have been talking Adam calm down." She brushes him off in a way only a mom can. "I wasn't trying to lie to you in the hospital. I just told them we were married because it's the easiest way to get access to her."

"Adam why don't you go get us a drink. I want to talk to Dean for a moment." Adam sighs and goes into the kitchen and Kate motions for me to sit down with her in the living room. "I guess I should have known that John had a family. When we meet he was injured on a hunt and he came into my hospital. We hit it off and we spent a pretty great week together. He did tell me he was married though and his wife had passed away. At the end of the week he left and we exchanged numbers but I knew it was just a great week and nothing more."

Kate smiles and her hand goes to her stomach. "Then a few weeks later I realized I was pregnant. I left your dad a message to call me and it took him about a year to call back." She chuckles at that. "I knew he was a man meant for the road so I wasn't upset. Then he just came breezing in one day and I had just had Adam and he was shocked but he knew what he was doing. He knew how to hold Adam and how to change him. I should have realized he had children of his own. We never made any silly promises about a future. He liked me but I knew your mom was the only woman who would ever own his heart. So he agreed to come by for Adam's birthday every year and to drop by when he could. He also made sure to check in with us every once in awhile."

I try to think of all the times dad left Sam and I in a cheap hotel for weeks at a time or better when he left us at Bobby's. I wonder if he was off with this other family while I was stealing food at the local 7 eleven for Sammy. It got better once he let Sam move in with Bobby, Karen, and Lara. I could always easily take care of myself. It was less stressful than worrying about if Sam had enough food or clothes that fit. "It's just a lot to take in." I respond blandly.

Adam comes back into the room and hands us all a beer and takes a seat next to his mom on the sofa. Kate smiles at him and take a sip of her beer. "I insist that you guys stay until Lara can travel."

"Her Uncle and Aunt are probably on their way here now. They adopted her when her parents passed away and I already called them. We can go to a hotel when they get here." I reply.

Kate smiles and shakes her head no. "I wouldn't dream of it. You will all stay here. Adam can stay on the couch." Adam rolls his eyes but agrees.

"My brother and his girlfriend will probably be coming too. I called him and he grew up with Lara like her brother. He is freaking out. I don't want to impose." Kate just laughs and gets up and pats my head. "We will make room. Now why don't you go to bed." How is this lady this understanding?

I quickly finish my drink and take the bottle to the kitchen. Adam drops his off too. Kate gives me a quick hug before she leaves. "It's alright Dean. We will get Lara well." She then leaves and I am just left there standing in shock.

I push the door open and I grab some clothes out of my duffle and change in the bathroom quickly. I go back to the guest room and Lara is fretfully sleeping on her side of the bed. She moves to her left and winces in her sleep and rolls back to her right. I crawl into the right side of the bed and look her over. She looks alright all things considering. I lay down and start to try to sleep myself. "Dean?" She whispers.

I roll over and look at her. "Yeah I'm here." I respond. She turns her head slightly and frowns. "I'm scared Dean." I act instinctively and gently put my arm under her neck and put my right arm over her.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there. I should have been there. I failed you." I can feel myself getting ready to crack but I can't. I need to stay strong for her.

Lara wriggles in my arms a bit and looks up at me. "You didn't fail me Dean. How could we have known they were going to attack. I'm just sacred they are going to come back."

I kiss her forehead softly. "They don't know we are here. I even pulled the car into the driveway so they wouldn't find us if they drive around. And if by some fluke they do find us I will do whatever it takes to keep you safe I promise."

Lara burrows herself into my chest and I can feel her crying but I don't comment on it. She deserves to cry after what happened to her today. Slowly her crying stops and I know is asleep. I make sure no pressure is on her bad side and that her IV's are still in. Once I know she fine I manage to fall asleep.

Gabriel's POV

I can't believe those beasts managed to figure out how to banish us. Lucifer must have leaked more trade secrets then I thought. I will be forever thankful that Uriel realized what was happening and managed to get to Lara before it was too late. There will be much mourning tonight in heaven.

Castiel and Balthazar have not yet managed to regroup after being banished. I am an archangel, it takes less time for me. The first moment I can I rush back to Lara's side. When I first arrive Dean is knelling next to her bed and his trying to comfort her. I know he is going to feel guilty for years to come over this. I know I should be mad at him for leaving her alone but I do know that he would rather remove his own hand then have someone hurt Lara.

I try to be patient but it's difficult when all I want to do is pull her into my arms and make sure she is alright. Finally Dean leaves the room and I uncloak myself. I knell where Dean just was and move my hand over the side of her face. "Lara." I whisper out.

Lara's eyes flutter open and her eyes fill with tears. "Uncle Gabe. I am so sorry. Uriel died because of me." She cries out. I immediately refute her. "Darling you did not kill Uriel. Those creatures did. He and any of us would be willing to do anything to keep you safe."

"Why?" Lara asks. Before I can respond the door opens and give her a quick wink and cloak myself. I stand to the side while the nurse Kate and Dean look over her. I am glad they found this woman. She will keep my girl safe. I knew about Kate and Adam and I can't believe how well Dean is handling this. Once they leave I get back to her side.

"Why is everyone willing to fight and die for me Uncle Gabe?" She asks again once they are gone. I don't know how to go about this. I can't influence her. She has free will and I won't take that from her.

I take a deep unneeded breath and try to smile at her. "You are special dear. And one day my father, your uncle Cas, and me are going to ask you to do something huge for us. But in the end it is your choice. Castiel and I will love you no matter what you decide but we will ask. That one thing you will be asked is why every angel in heaven would die for you. Not only that you have a way of making my kind want to fight for you." I hope I haven't given to much away. This life is hers . I can ask her not to sleep with Dean before she is married. I can ask her to do what my father wants but it's her choice.

"What about Zachariah?" Of course she wouldn't forget him. "He hates me. I can tell by the way he looks at me."

Zachariah is a unique issue. "I probably shouldn't be telling you this but do not trust him. If he ever comes to you I want you to pray for Castiel, Balthazar, Michael and me. I don't want him near you." I say a bit more strongly then I meant because she looks scared.

"Why are you so afraid of him?" Lara's voice shakes with fear has she asks me. I kiss her forehead and close my eyes trying to think for a moment. My father has never given me a gag order on this.

"I have been doing research on your nightmares darling. The other you who is stuck in that body farm. In that world it is Zachariah who betrays you and gets you captured." Lara's eyes bug out of her eyes and she tries to sit up. I push her back down. "Don't worry I will not allow him to hurt you, ever."

There is sound outside the door again and I know they are getting ready for bed. "Shall I heal you?" I ask her. She shakes her head no. "If you do they will want to know how I am better. I will heal naturally."

Her breathing in labored and I know that her lungs have been punctured. I lean over and put my hand on her forehead and let my grace heal just her lungs. "They won't know I healed you lungs. Now rest dear and I will be here all night." She smiles at me and falls asleep.

I cloak myself and find a comfortable spot in a chair in the room. I watch Dean come in and get into bed with. I watch him promise to protect her and hold her while she cries. I wish I could spare them the pain they are in for but I can't. They have to experience all of these trails.

Sam's POV

I have really fucked up and I have no clue how to fix it. Before I got to Jo well Ruby ran into me. We travelled for a bit and hung out. I didn't mean to but dammit I slept with her. I love Jo, I want to be with Jo, but I slept Ruby. I don't even know how to being to make this better.

Jo is curled into my side right now. Her head is resting on my chest and her naked leg is draped over my legs. I kiss the top of her head and breath her scent in. I love her. I really do. So why did I sleep with Ruby? I can really see a future with Jo I can't with Ruby. What the hell is wrong with me?

It took me awhile to calm Jo down after Dean called about Lara but she is calm and asleep now. We are going to finish this succubus case tomorrow and get there has soon as possible . I gotta meet this kid who claims to be our brother. That is a can of worms I can't even think about right now.

I manage to get my body untangled from Jo's without waking her and pull on my jeans. I grab my phone and head outside the motel room. I am about to call Ruby to see if she knew about the attack on Lara but she is already here leaning against the motel wall. "Did you know that they were going to attack Lara?"

Ruby shakes her head no. She looks me in the eyes and she looks sincere. "Sam I swear to you I didn't know. If I had known I would have called you and been there to help her."

"You're a demon Ruby how can I believe you?" I spit out. Ruby pushes off the side of the wall and walks over to me. She grabs my arms gently and I try to push her off but she keeps her grip. "You know me better than that Sam. I would never hurt or allow Lara to get hurt. You have to believe me."

I don't know why but I do. I look into her eyes and I believe her. She gets on her toes and she kisses me softly. I kiss her back before I know what I am doing. Once I realize I am kissing her outside the room that Jo is sleeping on, the same Jo who I was making love to earlier that evening, the same Jo that I love, I push Ruby back. "I can't Ruby I am with Jo. That night was a mistake."

Ruby actually looks hurts. "I am sorry you feel like Sam. I disagree." She then turns around and walks out into the night. I can't help but watch her leave. I may love Jo but a part of me wants Ruby too.

a/n wow a lot of info in this chapter. I am really excited for next chapter. I can't wait for you guys to see why! review if you get the chance and check out Breaking Free. I just finished it and its a side story to Becoming Free. It's another Lara and Dean story that takes place in the post apocalyptic world that Zachariah took Dean too in season 5.


	48. Chapter 48

Lara's POV

The last few days, god it has been over a week now have been strange if not completely overwhelming. I have everyone I have ever cared about under one roof yet not all of them know everything. Dean, Sam, and Jo think they know but they truly don't. I feel horrible lying to Dean but I guess I'm not truly lying. I don't know why the demons attacked me really I just know it's because of something heaven wants me to do. Uncle Bobby and Aunt Karen know more than any mortal does and that helps me. Uncle Bobby cornered me soon after getting here to see if the angels were able to help or not. I explained to them that they were banished and that Uriel was killed. My uncle held me while I cried. I can't tell Dean about it but I know I would feel better if I could cry on him. Uncle Gabe, Uncle Cas, Balthazar, and even Michael have been around all the time. They stay cloaked but I haven't been without at least one of them since I was attacked. Adam and his mom Kate have been awesome and Dean and Sam have been handling this whole my dad had a secret family thing really well.

What no one was counting on though was Ruby. Apparently she called Sam in a near panic because she had heard through the demonic grape vine I was attacked. She pestered him and even somehow got Dean's phone number and bothered him until they agreed to let her come and see that I was fine and alive. I didn't think we were that close but apparently I must have had some kind of affect on her. We let Kate and Adam know what she was and they refused to let her fully into their home. She could stay in the demon trap on the front porch until they were sure she wasn't going to kill anyone. Ruby willingly got into the trap and talked to us from the door. She looked pretty upset when we saw her. She swore that she didn't know what they were planning or she would have at least warned me if not been there to help. She actually looked like she wished she could have helped. She couldn't see my angelic family but they all were shocked at her sincerity. Kate and Adam have since let her into the home and she has been using her witchy past to make me better hex bags.

Jo doesn't trust her though. She claims that she eye fucks Sam every chance she can and thinks she is only helping to get closer to him. I don't know what to think. On one hand she's a demon how can I trust her. On the other she seems to care. She even killed the demons that were still sniffing around town looking for me.

Then there is Dean. He has been amazing through all of this. He hasn't left my side except when I have to go the bathroom. Even then he stands outside the door like a bouncer to an exclusive club. When Kate bathes me and looks over my healing wounds he carefully carries me into the bathroom and ever so gently places me on the side of the tub and helps me undress and get in, while still giving me some sense of modesty with a towel wrapped around me even if all I want him to do is rip off the towel and take me right there in the bathroom. His hands tenderly trace over my bandages and my bruises every time I wince and when he thinks no one else is looking. Sam and Jo keep giving me knowing winks and stares but I know Dean just feels guilty that he was on Lara patrol when I got hurt.

We have been living here for a week now and I know that Kate is fine with all of us being here but I feel bad. We have completely taken over their home. Kate and Aunt Karen get along famously and even uncle Bobby has been a little less gruff than normal.

More than likely we should stay here a bit longer, give myself more time to heal, but I know that we should be on our way. We have crashed into their lives with 6 people and one demon and they don't even know about the other four angels that have been staying in their home.

I am still resting and don't get out of the bed too often even now. I am just so sore. Dean comes into the room quietly not sure if I am awake. "I'm awake Dean." I say softly. I sit up slowly and try to keep the wince out of my voice.

Dean rushes to my side and brushes his hands softly over my arms. "What's hurting?" He asks with concern written all over his face. I give him a weak smile and look down at my side. "It's just my ribs they still hurt. I am fine." He gives me a I can tell you are bullshitting me look but lets me get away with it.

"Dean we should be leaving here soon. We only have a month left to find a way out of your deal and we have already invaded Adam and Kate's life enough." Dean looks over me and I know he doesn't want to agree with me. I am still a bit banged up and my bruises are somewhat worse now than they were when we showed up. But that's just how bruises are. "I just want to get home to my own bed. " I add at the end. He won't deny me my own bed I know that.

He shakes his head slowly and leans over and kisses my forehead. I can't help but blush like a school girl at the feeling of his lips on my forehead. "Alright. I will talk to everyone and get us ready to move. I want you to rest now though. Get some sleep and I'll let you know what we are doing when you get up." He orders me. I roll my eyes but lean back down on my pillows and despite myself I am asleep quickly.

By the time I am up again the sun light is starting to fade outside. It must be late afternoon. I can hear everyone chatting away in the living room and I struggle to sit up and get out of bed. I am sick of sitting in this damn bed! I manage to get myself upright, and look down at my clothes. I'm in a worn out tshirt and sweat pants but I'm covered and that's all that matters. It takes me longer then I like to admit to make it to the door and I get it open and out in the hallway. I'm not sure how he does it every time I start to move. Dean must have some kind of freaky radar because I am not in the hallway but a few moments when he is on me. "Lara you should be resting." I give him my best pissed off look and he rolls his eyes and helps me into the living room. Sam sees me and jumps off the couch to give me a comfortable place to sit down.

"Lara are you sure you are able to start the drive back tomorrow?" Kate asks me from the kitchen. I give her a warm smile and shake my head weakly. "I really want to get back to my own bed." Kate smiles at me and goes back to what she is doing.

"Which bed is that Lara? The one at our place or the one at your aunt and uncles place?" Jo asks me from the comfortable spot she found sitting between Sam's legs and leaning against his chest on the floor. He kisses the back of her head and she smiles off handedly.

"I want to go back to my aunt and uncles for a bit. We can all meet up at our place soon though." I need my uncles library is what I don't say. I only have a month left to save Dean. I know everyone else is thinking it. Sam and Jo have been researching different avenues all week and even Adam and Kate have stepped in and helped. I know that Sam and Jo have a few people that are going to go see on a way to get out of it.

Ruby is standing in the back of the room. She seems a bit out of place but I will give her props for trying. I notice that she is looking at Sam longingly but I am going to file that under figure out another day. Aunt Karen comes into the living room with a bowl of soup and a cup of iced tea with another pain pill on a small plate on a tray and places it over my lap. Dean gives me a questioning look. "Can you get that on your own?"

I can't help but blush. With my injuries even eating hasn't been that easy. I shake my head yes and get a death grip on my spoon. Aunt Karen takes the other seat next to me and Dean continues to watch my like hawk. "Your uncle and I will be a few days behind you Lara. We are going to stop at one of his contacts on the way home who has a book that might help." No one wants to talk about the impending date straight out.

"If I hear anything I'll let you all know too . I still have some favors to cash in and I am trying to figure out where Lilith is. Our best bet is to kill her before you due date Dean." Ruby adds from the back of the room. Jo rolls her eyes and I know she is about to make a snarky comment when I speak up. I can't afford to piss off Ruby right now. We need every weapon we have against Lilith, even if it's demon. "Thank you Ruby any help would be greatly appreciated."

"I am going to head out. I wanted to say thanks for the hospitality and I'll be in touch." Kate and Adam still don't know what to think about having a demon in their home but Kate does the kind thing and says good bye.

Sam and Jo take off a bit after Ruby. I know they are anxious to get on the road just like I am. They have been crashing on a blow up mattress in the living room in Kate's house and I know they just want a motel room to themselves. We have a plan to make our rounds with different contacts and meet up in two weeks at Jo's and I place to figure out the best plan of attack.

Dean, Uncle Bobby, Aunt Karen, Kate, and Adam are all talking about different ideas and I try to keep up with the conversation but the pain meds are starting to make me really sleepy. Before I know I am out on the couch. I come to and my face is nestled into Dean's chest. "Dean?" I sleepily ask out.

His arms tighten around my shoulders and under my legs. "Go back to sleep Lara. I am just carrying you back to bed. We are all going to talk a bit more than I'll be in."

"Alright." I respond with a yawn and Dean gently places me on the bed and pulls the blankets back up around me. "Just make sure to come back. I don't want them to find me." I mutter out has I fall asleep. He kisses my forehead, turns off the light, and heads back out keeping the door slightly open. I smile at that sweet gesture.

It's not a minute before the angels appear. It's Uncle Cas and Michael this time. Uncle Cas kneels next to me on the floor and Michael stands at the end of the bed. Uncle Cas runs his hand over my forehead and I feel his grace pulsing through me healing me of a few aches and pains but not going so far that anyone would notice. "How are you doing darling?" He asks me, his face wrinkled in concern.

I force out a smile and grab his free hand. "I am fine Uncle Cas. We are headed home tomorrow. It will feel nice to be sleeping in my own bed soon."

"Let my brother heal you before the ride little one. It will be very hard on your body." Michael states from the end of the bed. I shake my head no. "I am sorry but if you all want to stay a secret from the Winchesters then I can miraculously be healed by one of you." Michael knows I am speaking the truth but he doesn't seem happy about it.

"One of us will be in the car with you at all times tomorrow. I know it is difficult for you to ignore us but under the circumstances it is necessary for your safety." I have gotten to know Michael more this week and I know he cares but he is so awkward. He seems tense and stiff at all times. "I understand. I just need to rest."

I fall asleep to the comforting feeling of their grace surrounding me. I can hear Dean creep into the room and he crawls in to the bed next me. On the first night my Uncle was here he got a bit agitated that Dean was sleeping with me and offered to have Aunt Karen stay with me. But I started to cry at the thought of Dean not being next to me if the demons came back and my Uncle dropped it and they have been staying downstairs on a pullout couch. I instinctively move to be closer to Dean once he's settled. He pulls me to his chest and puts his arm around me. I have been more needy of his since the attack. I don't mean to be but I am terrified that they will come back to finish the job. Dean knows I am scared and has done a great job of making me feel safe. He has also made sure to wake me up every 2 hours so that my dreams don't get the best of me.

The next morning is a bit hectic. Kate insists of helping me bath and cleaning my wounds one last time before I leave. Dean and Adam share the morning locked in the basement together talking about brotherly things I suppose. I know Dean told him that he didn't want to make it harder on Adam by him dying in a month and they agreed that if he survived they would spend more time together. I think they should spend all the time they can together but this is their relationship is not mine.

Aunt Karen and Uncle Bobby headed out in the morning with a promise that they will just be two days behind us. Dean gets the impala loaded up and helps me walk out to the car. He tries to get me to lay down in the backseat but I stay firm on the fact I want to sit up front.

The drive is long but I daze through most of it and thankfully Dean doesn't seem bothered by it. He wakes me up every time my dreams get to me and every four hours to take more pain pills. Michael starts the day out with me. The second time I wake up Gabriel is there, and the last time it's Balthazar. I haven't been awake much but they seem terribly anxious today. I wonder if it just them mourning the loss of their brother. They don't like to discuss Uriel's death with me. I keep trying to talk about it. Every time I close my eyes I can see Uriel laying in my arms healing me with the last of his grace. I guess I have a part of him in me. I am going to fill in a bead on the rosary around my hips for him and maybe get a tattoo somewhere special just to remember him and what he gave up for me. Uncle Gabriel assures me that Uriel would have made the same decision again if it came down to it but I just don't know if I can believe that.

Some how I manage to wake up on the last five minutes of the ride and I let out a sigh of relief with I see my Aunt's and Uncle's house appear ahead of us. "Finally." I sigh out. Dean grabs my hand and squeezes it. "I am sorry this has been so rough on you. Let's get you upstairs and in bed asap." I smile at him has he pulls up.

It doesn't take long and Dean has all our bags in one arm and me in the other. I can walk but not without some assistance. We get inside and leave our bags by the front door and Dean helps me upstairs to my room. I go the bathroom while he brings my bags upstairs and by the time I am done he is standing in my room looking anxious himself. I stumble a bit on the way in and let out a wince at the fight my leg muscles are giving me. I am so thankful that Uriel managed to fix my broken leg every time I think about how much harder this would be with a cast instead of just the nasty sprain and stitches I do have. Dean catches me quickly and gets me into bed. He pulls the covers back over me and stands to leave. "Dean please stay with me." I say quietly.

For a moment I think he looks relieved. "Let me get my stuff and call your Aunt and Uncle to let them know we are here. You go to sleep." I am sleep before my head hits the pillow.

"LARA WAKE UP!" I feel hands shaking me and I jump awake to see Balthazar frazzled face above me. I immediately look over at Dean who is still asleep, no doubt to Balthazar's grace. "Lara we don't have much time and I need you to listen to me carefully."

I know I must look terrified and I sit up and look at him. "What is going on?" There is a loud sound outside that sounds like an explosion and I jump but Balthazar grabs me to focus back on him.

"We can't get you out of here the normal way right now Lara. The demons have to many sigils up. Once I leave the room I need you to wake Dean up and come downstairs. I am going to pretend to be a witch and I am going to push you both through a window and when I do it will send you somewhere safe. When you come down I am going to start reciting a spell and when I wink I want you to grab the book from me and push me. I will push you back and you guys will go through the window. Dean will think the spell was messed up and that is how you guys got where you are. In one weeks time you need to be back where you fall through the portal and you guys needs to jump through the same window to get back home. I know this doesn't make any sense but it's the only way to keep you both alive. I need you to trust me and do everything just the way I said." Balthazar looks frantic, I have never seen him anything but cool and calm.

I shake my head in understanding knowing now isn't the time for questions. I can ask them when we get back from wherever the hell we are going. "Alright." I stutter out. He leans forehead and hugs me. "Darling I want you to know the only reason we are doing this is because we literally have no other option. Now wake Dean up." With that he is gone.

There is another loud explosion outside and I flinch again and grab Dean. "Dean wake up!" I shout. He jumps awake grabbing the gun under his pillow. "Something is wrong Dean!" I shout. Dean jumps out of bed and I get up with him and he tries to get me to stay put. "No Dean I need to stay with you I am afraid." I say weakly.

Dean grabs my arm and puts me behind him has we leave the room. "Stay behind me Lara." He instructs. It takes longer then it should but I manage to get down the stairs. Balthazar told me he would be down there but I wasn't expecting him to look so menacing. "Well if it isn't Dean Winchester and his little slut." He spits out. I have never seen this cruel side of him. I don't mean to but I flinch behind Dean.

"Who are you and how did you get in here?" Dean shouts holding his gun up. Balthazar laughs coldly. "I am a witch and it doesn't matter how I got here because you will both be dead in a few moments."

Dean tries to fire the gun but Balthazar flicks his hand and it goes flying. Dean then tries to attack but Balthazar freezes in him his spot. Dean looks at me frantically. "Lara I am sorry. I..."

Balthazar starts to recite the spell he told me he would. I notice him wink at me. I do what he told me. I grab the book and I push him. Has I push him I feel his grace throw me into Dean and we go flying out the window. I brace myself for undoubtedly horrible fall I am about to experience. But it doesn't come. It's soft. "Cut! Fucking hell Jensen how many times do I have to tell you that you can't catch Liv when you guys go out the window!"

I look around and I am not on the ground outside my living room window with gravel biting my back. I can feel the spell book still in my hands, I clutch it tightly making sure I don't lose it. I will need it to make this look real to Dean. I look down and Dean is under me we are still in our pajamas. He must have grabbed me when we fell and took the fall for me. Only we are on some kind of blow up mattress and there are people all around us. "Dean what the hell." I whisper. He looks around and shrugs.

Before I can ask him anything else a big pair of hands are pulling me off Dean. "You doing alright Liv?" Sam asks me. How the hell did he get here and why is he calling me Liv. "Sam?" I ask utterly confused

Sam swipes some of the hair off my forehead and checks me over. "Did you bump your head Liv or have you just been playing Lara to long?" I have no clue how to respond and he laughs and gets me off the blow up mattress and puts me steadily on my feet next to it. He then leans down and grabs Dean's hand and helps him up. "Jensen man they are going to kill you."

"Jared get his dumb ass over here! And set the god damned scene for the 3rd time today!" The disgruntled man from earlier shouts from a chair behind a camera. Am I on a film set. I look around and try to take everything in but it is overwhelming. Dean stands up and grabs me to him. "Are you alright?" He whispers in my ear.

I take stock in my body and I notice I am not hurting at all. My body feels better than it as in a week. "Yeah I am fine." I respond. I feel a bit naked standing in a room with at least 20 people in just a sleeping dress that barely covers my thighs let alone my ass. Dean looks a bit nervous too in just a pair of sleeping pants without even a pair of shoes.

"Ackles get over here now!" The man yells again. I shrug and Sam or is it Jared grabs Dean and laughs has he takes him to the angry man in a chair. I look around for someone familiar and I see Uncle Cas. I smile slightly and run over to him. I make sure that Dean doesn't see me and hope that if he does he just assumes that Uncle Cas grabbed me to talk.

"Boy am I glad to see you here Uncle Cas." I say happily has I close in on him. He gives me the same confused look that Sam gave me. "Did you bump your head Liv?" He asks me seriously. Oh not this again. Who the fuck is Liv?

"I am going to kick Jensen's ass by the way. Last week he won't even let you stand near the fighting for your scenes and insisted on a stunt double and today he lets you get thrown out of window. You need to be taking better care of yourself Liv. I know you both haven't talked to the producers yet but this is serious." I start to feel a bit woozy and I grab Uncle Cas' look alike arm quickly to try and steady myself. "Oh don't try and stop me. He needs to be reminded that..." And it goes black.

"Lara come on baby wake up." I hear Dean whispering into my ear. I slowly open my eyes and realize I must have passed out. Dean is hovering over me and I see Sam look alike and Uncle Cas look alike right behind him. Dean helps me sit up and get me to my feet. I feel the book still in my hands and relax a bit. At least I still have that. Sam grabs Dean's arm. "Why don't you guys go back to our trailer and I'll take care of wrapping this up for the day." Before either of us can agree Uncle Cas look alike is dragging us outside.

Dean keeps a protective arm round me and he keeps looking around like someone is going to jump out at us at any moment. I'm glad for his arm though because it is a bit chilly here and I can feel on my skin start to raise has I shiver. Dean just pulls me closer and rubs his hand over arms."Jensen this is completely irresponsible. I knew today would be too much on her and she passed out." The Cas look alike flashes me angry blue eyes and I flinch back into Dean a bit. "Liv I know you think you are ok but you're not. And you need to think about the fact that.."

"Oh for the love of god Misha will you stop acting like their god damned parent and go get ready for your next scene!" A man who looks like Balthazar yells from the building we just like left. Cas look alike or I guess Misha, is that even a name, storms off to yell at Balthazar look alike who obviously doesn't remember waking me up but is dressed just like him.

"Lara where the hell are we?" Dean asks me under his breath hoping that no one can hear us. I shrug my shoulders because I really don't know. I see a trailer ahead with the names Liv, Jensen, and Jared on it and assume that is where Jared was sending us.

Once we get into the safety of the trailer I let out a sigh. "Dean I have no fucking clue what is going on but I feel like I just woke up in the twilight zone." Dean goes to pull me into a hug and I fall into him and realize something doesn't feel right. I pull back quickly. "Dean I am taller!" I shout out.

"What?" He snips back completely confused. I look down. "I come to the center of your chest and now I am near the top I am taller or you are shorter... oh fuck.." I start to pull up my sleep dress. "Dean my tattoos are gone!" I feel myself start to panic. This isn't my body. My stomach is even a bit bigger. I can see my hair fall in front of my eyes and it's not quite has dark.

"Oh shit so is mine!" Dean yells out smearing the fake tattoo on his chest has he rubs it. We meet each other's glance and we are both freaking out. His eyes aren't quite the same shade of green. They a bit more jade then emerald green. I didn't notice it before but he isn't quite has built either and has a few more freckles on his chest and less on his face. I grab the book that I have been clutching and start to flip through it. Luckily I can actually read the text, I don't think Dean can though. "What does it say? What is going on?"

I read over it quickly. I know Balthazar told me we were going somewhere safe and that we had to be at the same spot a week later but I don't know where we are. I look up quickly and find a clock. Ok so it's 4:11 here. It must have been around 4 when we came through. I find the spell he was on by the slight tear in the page. Oh shit this is not good, this is not good at all. "Dean it looks like I stopped him half way through the spell do you want the bad news or the good news first? " I ask trying to laugh.

"The bad." He states not laughing.

"Well the bad is that we are our souls in a different body and our bodies may or may not be in some kind of suspended state. And it looks like we are stuck here for a week until the portal reopens and we can jump through again." I say wincing at the thought of where my body is. "And the good is that if he had finished the spell we would have been killed and our bodies evaporated."

Dean freezes for a moment then lets out a crazy laugh. "Well thank god for small favors." We both look around the trailer for clues and my eyes land on a dvd box. On the front of the box is a picture of Dean, Sam, and me only above our faces it says Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki, and Olivia Padalecki and the title Supernatural. I grab it and turn it around and quickly read the description. "Dean we are a tv show!"

"What?" He shouts and grabs the box from me. I can see his face paling just like my mine. "People have been watching our lives since the day that we went on that hunt for the lady in white." He mumbles out.

Something else dawns on me. People keep calling Dean Jensen and Sam's look alike Jared. They are calling me Liv which is short for Olivia. Olivia and Jared just so happen to have the same last name. "Oh no don't let it be so..." I fumble around looking for a computer. If it's a tv show they are bound to have our bios up somewhere. "What is it Lara?" Dean asks.

I ignore him until I find a lap top sitting on the couch in the trailer and I grab it and rip the lid open. I shakily type in my new name. I click on a link to a page about me and let out a sigh of relief. "He's just my big brother." I lean back on the sofa and relax. "What are you talking about?"

I laugh and show him the site. "Jared's and my last name were the same. I was terrified we were married." Dean gives me a confused look. "Dean if I am married here we are here for a week. The last thing I need is his big ass hands trying to cop a feel every few moments." Dean nods at me in understanding and my stomach lurches. I jump up and find the nearest trash can and throw up whatever contents Liv put in her body before we got here.

Dean is by my side in a moment rubbing my back. "Let it out. Come on just let it out." I keep throwing up and when I'm done I feel fine. "Maybe the body travelling has you so sick." He says with a confused shrug.

Before I can respond the trailer door rips open and Jared comes bounding in with a small blond haired man behind him. "Hey sis how you feeling?" He asks before he notices I am sitting next to the trash can. "Oh man not again."

The man who came in with Jared chimes in behind him. "Before you all start freaking out about your fainting spell I already made an appointment with the doctor for you. You have one tomorrow morning at 10 am. I also got you the rest of the day off." The man comes over and puts his hand out, I put mine out by instinct and he drops two rings in my palm. "I know you hate having them off any longer then you have to so put them back on."

"If La..Liv isn't working the rest of the day maybe I shouldn't either." Dean mentions next to me. Jared starts to laugh. "We're not idiots Jen! Don't worry Chad took care of it. He has you guys off till at least tomorrow. "

I start to pale. Oh hell no. I am not acting in some stupid show about my life. I am guessing this man's name is Chad. "Do you think you could get us a week off? I just don't feel well and I really need some time off." They seem to already be accepting that I am sick so maybe it won't be that much of a surprise.

Chad chuckles and shakes his head. "Oh they are going to love me but if that is what you need that I will take care of it. What else is your assistant good for. Now why don't you head home and have a nice afternoon with your hubby and when Jared gets off I'll bring you all dinner."

Shit I was hoping to mentally avoid the obvious wedding rings in my palm for at least another 10 minutes. I nervously slip them on and grab onto Dean's arm hoping Chad and Jared don't notice that I am shaking a bit. I don't want to deal with some strange husband. "Do you think you could get us a ride back? And De.. Jensen is coming to right?"

Chad gives me a really confused look and looks at Jared and he just shrugs. "Yeah I already have the driver out front. He'll get you home."

Oh fuck where is home. "I don't know where my keys are!" I shout out more loudly then necessary and Dean chuckles quietly next to me. Chad grabs an expensive looking handbag off the table and digs through it and pulls out a set of keys. "Right here Liv. I swear you weren't supposed to get this batty yet! Do you need me to remind you of your apartment number while I'm at it."

I try to laugh it off like a joke. "Yeah sure I can't seem to remember anything else today." I say standing up. Chad chuckles and hands me my bag. "I'll see you back at the penthouse in a few hours." He winks at Dean and him and Jared are out just as quick as they came in.

"Shit Dean I am married. What the hell am I going to do!?" I ask frantically. "Oh you can't leave me alone with him what if he well what if wants.. you know!" For a moment Dean looks pissed but then he laughs it off. "It will be fine. We will get back to this penthouse and we will figure this out. I can't say that your hubby will be to excited when I say I am staying over but we will deal with it. I am not going to let some strange man defile you."

Maybe I am overreacting but I am a bit nervous about someone I won't even recognize all of a sudden being my husband. We find out clothes folded up on a chair in the trailer and quickly change. These are not the hand be down threads that we normally wear. No this is no thrift shop find. I am in a obviously expensive cream silk dress that feels like heaven on my skin. I also have a very slick light brown leather jacket and a pair of cowboy boots. At least those two parts of my outfit are normal. I study my rings and if I sold them I am pretty sure they would support Dean and I for a few years. The engagement ring is a huge square cut diamond with two diamonds flanking it. The wedding band is encrusted with diamond baguettes. I have more on my hand then my Uncle and Aunts house is even worth. Dean has a pair of jeans that look like they were tailor cut for him, and a nice blue striped button up with a pair of cowboy boots. Dean puts a supportive arm around me and we head outside and see a black town car sitting out front a man leaning against it. He jumps up when we come out and opens the door for us. We slide in and he gets into the driver's seat and heads out.

This ride may go down has one of the awkward rides of my life. I know I must know the man in front driving us but I don't. Dean and I don't want to talk and not sound like Jensen and Liv so we sit quietly in the back seat. It doesn't take long and we pull up to very modern, very tall, very expensive looking apartment building. Well at least we'll be somewhere nice for the next week. The man gets out of the car and opens the door on my side and I get out and wait for Dean. "Thanks." We both shyly tell the man who drove us home.

So maybe I am married and the people in the lobby will find this strange but I am nervous and Dean is right here. I grab his hand and he squeezes mine back. We quickly go through the lobby and wave at a security guard who smiles at us. We get the elevator and hit the top floor I remember Chad saying we live in the penthouse.

The elevator ride seems to take forever and when it opens I see two sets of doors. I pull out my keys and we try to the door the left first and that fails so we go across the hall to the right and try that door and it opens. I let out of sigh of relief but am immediately hit with another question. There is a door to the left and to the right again. There is a console in the middle of the small room with a bunch of framed snap shots of Liv, Jensen, and Jared. "Well shit." I cuss out. Dean laughs and grabs my keys and finds another one. We try it to the door on the left and it opens easily. "Home sweet home." I mutter out. Dean chuckles and I take in the sight before me.

"Holy shit." We both say at the same time. We are in the middle of a very large very expensive living room. I take in the all the modern furniture and the picture glass windows and just let my jaw drop for a moment. Then I notice the bouquet of roses on the table and a wrapped present. I walk over to them and see Liv on the card. I pick it up and open it slowly.

_Liv,_

_ I love you so much! I can't believe the life we created._

_ Love ,_

_ Your adoring husband_

Dean is reading over my shoulder and I can't help but blush. "Apparently they have created quite the life. I mean look at this apartment." Dean says trying to lighten the mood. I try to laugh it off but how am I supposed to pretend to be this adoring husband's wife?!

The package sitting next to the roses is beautifully wrapped and just begging for me to open it. I gently rip the paper off and start to open the box. A pull a frame out and read the note taped on. _Our little life._ It says. I lift off the note and take a moment to look at the picture. It's really blurry and all in different shades of grey. What is it even of... oh shit. I drop the frame and Dean's hunter reflexes catch it before it crashes. "Dean I think I am well Liv is pregnant!" I shout out.

"What?"

I grab the picture and point to the little blob in the middle of the gray. "That is this bodies uterus and that is a baby!" I scream frantically my hands clutching my stomach that I now know why it looked bigger. "Get me a pregnancy test I need to check this!"

Dean face is almost white and he gives me a confused look. I run to a door that leads to the master bedroom that luckily has a bathroom. You have got to be kidding me. My adoring husband has more roses in here and a bottle of sparkling apple cider on ice with two champagne glasses next to the largest tub I have ever seen. I walk over to it and low and behold there are rose pedals in the bottom of the tub along with a bath bomb. "Dean!" I scream out.

He comes running in and takes the bathroom in. "He is totally going to plan on getting lucky tonight! He has roses everywhere and hell this tub is big enough for an orgy!" I exclaim. Dean doesn't move for a second and then makes eye contact with me. "Tell him you have a headache?" He suggests.

I laugh angrily and start to pull open different drawers hoping that this couple might have a pregnancy test in here. They obviously needed one at one point. I move to the linen closet and find one behind a first aid kit. I grab it and read the directions and shoo Dean out so I can pee on this stupid stick. It says I need to wait a minute.

Dean is standing outside the door when I leave. "Well?" He asks. I shrug my shoulders. " I have to wait a minute but if the picture and the apple cider mean anything this chick is knocked up and I don't even know my baby daddy's name." I reply with a pout.

While we are waiting on the longest minute of my life and I notice that the bed is also covered in rose pedals and there are faux candles lit all over the room. "Oh your husband is so planning on getting very lucky tonight." Dean whistles out while we both take in the room.

The minute is up and I run back to the bathroom to see a pink plus sign glaring at me. "Shit Dean I am totally knocked up! I am a virgin and I am pregnant!" I exclaim coming out of the bathroom and showing him the stick. He grabs it and looks at it and gives me a sad smile. My hands rest on my stomach for the first time I feel a little flutter. This is happening. I am pregnant.

At first I throw myself down on the bed and lay there for a moment. Then I notice a picture on the nightstand. I roll over and grab it. There is a man and a woman dressed up for a wedding. I see me or I guess Liv in a beautiful white dress and a man in a tux next to her. No that's not just a man. "Um Dean." I choke out.

He moves towards me and lays down next to me on the bed and I hand him the photograph. "I guess I know who I am married to." I whisper.

It takes a Dean a moment but he lets out a gasp. He must have figured out who the two people are in the photograph. "Holy shit Liv is married to Jensen!" He shouts out.

a/n I hope this chapter was worth the wait! Please review if you get a chance! and to my guest reviewer... This is the beginning of a very dangerous and slippery slope for Sam. The Sam/Jo/Ruby love triangle will become much bigger later on.


	49. Chapter 49

a/n This is going to be a bit different then when they go back in the show so please just put that one aside totally. The character are going to show up a bit differently.

Dean's POV

I swear if this is another djinn trick I am going to fucking kill someone this time. I don't care what it is I kill but something will die. I know it's been a year since the djinn but I still have moments where it haunts me and now this.

"Dean?" Lara asks from the spot on the bed next to me. After my last exclamation I know I haven't said anything and that they may have been a few minutes ago. I quickly sit up and look down at her. "Yeah?" I respond stupidly.

Lara sits up and looks me in the eyes. "So yeah... so I guess Liv and Jensen are married and..." Lara then rubs her stomach softly. "Expecting a child." She finished quietly. I can't stop looking at her. This woman in front of me doesn't look exactly like the Lara I am used to and I guess that is because it's not Lara it's Liv. Her hair isn't quite has dark, her eyes are more a pale blue then a sapphire blue, and she is a bit taller. Her pale eyes are so soft and hooded right now has she looks down at her stomach and gently touches it.

"Fucking bastard!" I curse out. Lara breaks out of her moment with her stomach and looks at me confused. I jump off the bed and flail my arms out around me. "Don't pretend you were thinking it too Lara!" I snap.

Lara jumps up but keeps her distance. "Thinking what?" She asks me obviously confused. I take a step back and let out an angry snarl.

"This is fucking bullshit Lara! We come over here and this guy and girl are playing our lives. And not only are they playing our lives they are getting paid a shit ton to do it. This Jensen guy is rich, has a great apartment, probably has a wonderful family, he has a baby on the way, and dammit he even has you!" I realize what I said but I don't know how to back track on that one. "What do I have? I live off stolen cards and I have my car... oh and I'll be in hell in about a month." I finish out my tirade and sit on the bed putting my head in my hands.

For a moment the room is silent then Lara sits down on the bed next to me and puts her arm around me. "You have me Dean." She whispers out. I sigh and roll my head over to look at her. "You have me... you have Sammy and Jo. Hell you have Uncle Bobby and Aunt Karen. So what if these two have a ton of money and a dream life. We have the knowledge that we have saved lives." I lean into her and for a moment I think now is the time to kiss her but I push that idea out of my head and jump off the bed quickly.

My movements startles her a bit and she gives me her big confused eyes. I can see tears forming in the corners of her eyes. It sends a jolt of pain right to my gut. I knell down in front of her and grab her hands. "Why don't you take advantage of the bath that your adoring husband set up for you and then we will look through their stuff and see what we and can figure out enough about Jensen and Liv to be able to pull this off for a week."

Lara shakes her head slowly and I lean over and kiss her forehead. I help her to her feet and usher her into the bathroom shutting the door behind me. Once I hear the tub start to fill with water I let out a long sigh and head into the living room. I go through the book shelf and dvds and find a wedding video, a wedding photo album, and a few old family albums. I put them on the coffee table so we can look over them together.

The kitchen is a bit bare but I find a bag of popcorn and put it in the microwave. Luckily there is a 6 pack of beer in the fridge and I pull out two. Until I remember that Lara will not be having one. I put one back and pull out a bottle of water. This really is bullshit. Why does this weird pseudo version of me get to be married to her?

The microwave dings and I pull out the hot bag of pop corn and put it on the coffee table. I start to search the apartment to see if they have any precautions up and they don't. So I pour some salt around our front door and I draw two devils traps and put them under the mats under our front door and the main one for what must be the penthouse. I assume that Jared has the one next door. I would feel better with a weapon but I can't find a gun anywhere so I pull out some of the knives from the kitchen and stash them around the apartment.

I hear the bedroom door open and Lara comes out. Her hair is a bit damp and she's in a pair of sweat pants and a tshirt that look ridiculously big on her. She smiles at me and takes a seat. "I had to dig through Liv's clothes to find something comfortable and quite frankly I'm not totally sure these aren't Jensen's. She has quite a collection." She smirks.

We both look over the collection of things in front of us and decide on watching the wedding tape first. Maybe we can to at least figure out the family dynamics. The dvd starts and Lara relaxes on the couch next to me nursing the water and refusing to eat the pop corn. It starts with Lara walking down the aisle on the arm of... "Holy shit is that Dad!?" I shout out. Lara drops her bottle of water and it covers her quickly. "John?" She mutters out.

I hit pause and grab the old family album off the table and flip through Lara's picture. "MOM TOO!?" I shout out. Lara puts the empty bottle of the table and doesn't bother changing yet. She looks over and sees a family picture of her, Jared, another boy, and my mom and dad.

"I guess it makes sense." Lara says quietly. I give her a confused look and she points down on the picture. "Look at how he is holding her Dean. I never saw them together back home obviously but the way your father talked about her they were soul mates. It's no surprise that they would be together on every plane."

I stare at the picture and flip through more. In every picture that mom and dad are in they are giving each other soft glances. She's right they are soul mates. So why do I keep finding myself with Lara every time I go somewhere? "Come on lets watch the rest."

The rest of the wedding goes by. I see Jo standing next to Liv has her maid of honor, I'll be interested to see if she plays Jo too. Jared is oddly standing in has Jensen's best man. I can see the love radiating between Liv and Jensen has they say their vows and kiss for the first time has man and wife. The camera follows them out and restarts at the reception.

"AUNT KAREN AND UNCLE BOBBY!" Lara squeals out. Low and behold they are at the wedding. It looks like they might be Jensen's parents. "Maybe your right Lara. No one would doubt that your aunt and uncle are soul mates and here they are too."

The video shows me, a very different version of myself. I am relaxed and happy. I can't keep my hands off Liv and constantly have at least one hand on her. The toasts start and Jared takes the mike and the person filming the wedding zooms in on him.

Jared stands their confidently looking out amongst what must be all of our friends and family. "I know a lot of you thought it was weird that I was Jensen's best man since he is taking my baby sister from me but then again most of you know I already punched him once for that." The whole hall laughs and Jared gives Jensen and Liv a wink. "I should have known the first day they meet though that they would fall in love. I had just gotten the job offer to play Sam Winchester and was moving up to Canada for the filming to meet my soon to be on screen brother. My mom and sister insisted on going up with me to make sure I was settled. I was talking to Jensen on set when my mom and sister came in. Jensen stopped speaking mid sentence and just starred at Liv. Before I could smack him the director was talking to me and my mom was coming over. The next time I looked over Liv and Jensen were talking and I wasn't the only one who noticed their chemistry. Our producers noticed it too and asked Liv if she could act and if she wanted the role has Lara Maywin. It seemed perfect for her to play a girl who was like my little sister and love interest of the show. From the first moment to the last moment I know you two will forever be in love. Welcome to the family Jensen and I wish you both years of happiness."

The room fills with clapping and Jensen leans over and kisses LIv, well more like devours her mouth. Then Jo stands up. The room quiets down and she grabs the mike. "I know not all of you know me. I am Beth, Liv's best friend since before we even started school. Liv and I grew up like sisters and I am so happy to see her meet her soul mate and be getting married. In high school Liv was not lacking for male attention and we both frequently snuck out on dates so her brothers wouldn't find out. But every time we came home Liv would tell me that he wasn't the one. I would ask her how he knew and Liv would smile at me and start to blush. She said to me Beth I'll know when he's the one because my heart will flutter and just the sight of him and my soul will recognize it's other piece. The day she left with Jared to go to Canada was only supposed to be a week long trip. After that first day she called me up and told me that she found him. She said that her heart nearly beat out of her chest when she saw him across the room and that her soul just knew he was it. So I was not surprised when 6 months later Liv called me asking me to be her maid of honor. I am so happy for your both and wish you the best." The room once again fills with claps and this time Liv leans over and kisses Jensen.

The rest of the dvd is filled with supposed friends and family wishing them well. I see that guy Misha from the set today and the guy who was yelling at him. I see other faces from our lives back home but I don't know who they are here. The dvd ends and Lara and I both look at each other a bit overwhelmed. She leans over and grabs the wedding album and we go through the pictures that take us up to our honeymoon in Tahiti. We then go through the older albums that must of been from both our families of our childhoods. When we are done I look over and Lara is crying. I immediately grab her and pull her to me. "What's wrong?" I ask her.

"Where are my parents Dean? Your parents are here and happy. Aunt Karen and Uncle Bobby are here and raised you and what looks like your older brother but my parents aren't here." She cries out into my chest. I try to comfort her but there is very little I can do right now. For the most part Lara has handled being an orphan extremely well but sometimes she just needs to break down.

I'm not sure how long we sit there but slowly she stops crying. One of our phones start to beep and Lara gets up to get it. She grabs it and reads the message. "That was Jared I think. He said he would be home in about 30 mins with dinner and that if we are going to be indecent to keep our door locked and he won't come in." She smirks at the last part and puts the phone back down. "I am going to put on real clothes before he comes back." She tells me and head back into the bedroom.

While she is changing I put the photo albums back and put the dvd back on the shelf. I trash the pop corn bag, beer bottle, and water bottle. After a few minutes Lara comes out wearing a pair of tight jeans and purple sweater. She blushes a bit and rubs her stomach. "It looks like Liv has bought some bigger jeans but I think she needs to go a size up."

Before my mind can catch up with my mouth I step forward and rest my hand on her stomach. "Is it weird? Knowing there is a life in you?" I ask stupidly.

Lara smiles and shakes her head yes. She doesn't move my hand away and traps it under hers. "I can feel this fluttering feeling in my stomach and I know there is a life there and it is bizarre but in a good, no a great way. " She looks so stunning right now. I can only imagine how beautiful my Lara would look pregnant but I guess this is the closest thing to that I will ever see since I will be dead soon.

The door opens behind me and I pivot quickly putting my body in front of Lara and relax when I see Jared and Chad coming into the room with bags of food. "Oh good your dressed!" Jared jokes with us and puts bags of food on the counter. "I got you a burger Jensen and Liv I got you that salad you like."

Lara's face pales a bit and she shakes her head. "I don't want a salad." She replies sounding disgusted by the thought. Chad pulls the food out and asks. "What do you want then?"

Her face scrunches while she thinks and rubs her stomach. "I want a seven layer burrito from taco bell with cinnamon twist OH and a side of nacho cheese. Oh and I think I want a fish sandwich from McDonalds and if you could get sweet and sour sauce with that. And...um the fries and a shake from Wendy's oh and don't forget chili." Well that is quite a meal my eyes nearly bug out of my head when I face her.

Jared and Chad have similar expressions and Jared nearly chokes has he speaks. "Now don't get me wrong Liv, I have always thought you ate like a rabbit but that is a bit extreme." I guess this Jared isn't the health nut my Sam is. Lara just shrugs her shoulders. "Cravings." She states and Jared grabs the keys from Chad and head back out.

Chad is kind of a funny guy. He is only about 5' 5" maybe 6" max. He's flamboyant and obviously loyal to Liv and Jensen. "So I got you guys a week off. The bosses were no pleased but I explained to them that Liv was ill and needed a break. I think you guys need to come clean though and tell them you are pregnant. Hell you need to tell them you are married!"

Lara and I exchange looks. Is our marriage a secret? "I mean I understand why you guys are so secretive. Everyone thinks that hollywood stars just bounce between lovers because their parts make them fall in love or what not but anyone with eyes can tell you guys are head over heels in love with each other. If you tell them you are married and expecting they won't keep making Liv film these scenes. It's not like they will surprised anyways."

We both stand there silent for a moment and before Lara can respond her hand flutters to her mouth and she turns around and runs to the bathroom. I am left there with Chad. "Hey Chad, can you um do my a favor?" I ask him. He shakes his head yes. "Um so do you remember the episode with the djinn?"

Chad nods his head. "Yeah that was two episodes in season 2 and your characters mental breakdown from it kept cropping up for a few more episodes after that. The ratings were huge." Well I am glad that my almost mental breakdown made for such great tv. "Well I need you to get me a copy of those episodes and please don't tell Liv or Jared. I just need them by Wednesday morning."

"Yeah sure no problem man." Chad tells me. He seems a bit confused but I know he will do this for me. I nod a thanks and run to the bathroom behind Lara. I find her leaning on the wall next to the toilet. "You alright?" I ask sitting down next to her.

She falls over and lays her head on my shoulder. "Yeah I am fine." We sit there for awhile letting her rest in case she needs to throw up again. We slowly get up and I help her to her feet and we head out to the kitchen at the same time has Jared coming back with Lara's food. Just a half an hour ago she was puking but one look at the fast food bags and her face brightens.

We all sit at the table and start to eat but it doesn't take long for us to all stop and just watch Lara. She is dipping the cinnamon sticks into the cheese sauce and poured the sweet and sour sauce over the tarter on her fish sandwich. She is also alternating between dipping her fries in the shake and the chili. At first she doesn't notice we are all watching her. When she does she slowly lower her fry and looks at all of us. "What?" She asks.

"Nothing!" We all exclaim and go back to eating. After dinner Jared pulls a beer out of the fridge and hands one to Chad and me. We all head into the living room and Lara pulls me down on the couch next to her and snuggles into me. I put my arm around her and she lays her head on my chest. Chad pulls out a planner and goes through it. "OK even though you both are technically on vacation for a week we are still very busy. Liv and Jensen you have a doctor's appointment tomorrow at 10 and you have your first birthing class tomorrow night at 6. Jared they still want you to film a few scenes starting at 12 tomorrow."

Birthing classes? Lara must notice I tense because she grabs my hand and squeezes it. Chad just keeps going. "On Friday you guys have an interview with that guy from entertainment weekly and your idiot friends are coming up and you are all going out." I start to speak up saying that Lara and I won't be going but Jared cuts me off. "Not a chance you guys. It's my birthday and you both promised you guys would go out with us if they came up." That shuts me up.

"Ok so then on Saturday Liv and Jared's parents and brother Dylan will be in around 2 pm. They are here until Monday morning. Don't forget they don't know your pregnant Liv and you wanted to bring them up to tell them just like you did with Jensen's parent's two weeks ago." Liv and Jared parents are coming. My mom and dad will be in the same apartment has me. I don't know how I'll handle that. Lara grabs my hand again and I can feel her sending calm at me.

"After they leave you guys have the rest of Monday to yourselves but Jared and Jensen you guys have your bro-lunch." Chad rolls his eyes and Jared gives me a big thumbs up. "Tuesday is a free day for now...Then Wednesday you guys start back up at work."

Most of this seems doable, well all except seeing my parents. I don't know how I'll do that without breaking down.

Jared shuffles on his seat and jumps up. "Well I got a date. I'll see you guys tomorrow." Lara whips around and looks at the clock on the cable for the tv. "It's almost 10:30 Jared!" She yells at him.

He smiles at her and leans down to give her a hug. "She's a bartender and she won't get off for another 2 hours. I am going to keep her company at the bar and we are going to hang out." Lara rolls her eyes and Chad digs in his pocket and hands Jared a condom. Lara's eyes nearly bug out of her face and Chad just starts to laugh. "What if it wasn't for me Jared would have bastards all over Canada, California, and Texas. Someone has to make sure he doesn't knock a girl up. And you guys should be heading to bed. You have an early appointment."

They both leave and Lara heads to the kitchen to clean up from our take out meals while I head to the bedroom to try and find my own sleeping clothes. Lara sure wasn't kidding when she said they had clothes. Jensen has more clothes in his smallest drawer then I probably own. I dig through them until I find a pair of sleeping pants and a tshirt and change quickly. Lara comes through and starts to dig through what is Liv's dresser and pulls out a nightgown. "I can't find anymore tshirts." She says with a blush and heads into the bathroom.

I find another home video in a dvd case and pull it out for us to watch. Lara comes out of the bathroom in what would be a slightly loose ivory silk nightgown but for the first time her bump is really accentuated and it's slightly stretched over her stomach. I can't stop myself from moving to her like a moth to a light and resting my hand softly over her stomach. "Wow you really are pregnant."

Lara looks up at me and smiles. "Yeah I guess she is." I don't want to but I drop my hand and we both get into the bed. "I found another video." I tell her turning the tv on and switching it to video. Lara gets comfortable under the blankets and I hit play.

It takes a moment but I recognize the room we are in. Jensen comes into the frame and so does Liv and they both look at each other and start to laugh. Jensen is in the same pajama pants that I found in his drawer and Liv is in a silk robe. "Are you sure about this Liv?" Jensen asks her with a slight Texas draw.

Liv shakes her head yes. "This was my idea of course I am sure. I just want a memento of what I looked like before I get all big and fat."

Jensen pulls her into a hug and kisses the top of her head. "You will not be fat Liv you are pregnant. Huge difference..." She snuggles into his chest and smiles at his words. "Besides you will always be the most beautiful woman on the planet to me." Liv lifts up her face and he takes her cheeks in his hands and kisses her lips softly. "I love you so much Liv." He mutters into her lips.

"I love you just as much Jen." She responds. He leads her to the camera and faces her to the lens. He stands behind her and rests his chin on her shoulder and wraps his arms around her stomach and his hands fall over her still flat stomach. "In a few months when you are round with our child I want you to put in this dvd and remember how gorgeous I think are you now and how stunning I think are you then."

Liv leans into him and smiles softly. Jensen moves his hands and starts to untie the belt holding her robe together and the silky fabric spreads open showing Liv in slinky lingerie beneath it. Before my brain can catch up with what we are watching he speaks again. He kisses the side of her neck and his hands slip the silky fabric off her shoulders and he moves his hands up to her collar bone and kisses down her shoulder. "I want you to lay in bed and think about how I am touching you now. I want you to start at your neck and think about what my lips feel like on your neck and what my breath feels like on you shoulders."

Jensen moves his hands down her chest and lightly massages her breasts. "I want you to move down to your breasts and touch them. I want you to pull on your nipples and think of me doing those things to you." Liv lets a moan out and her head falls back on Jensen's shoulder in ecstasy has her removes her bra and continues to touch her breasts and play with her nipples. While one of his hand stay on her breasts the other one slips down to her still clothed center and his fingers slip underneath the shear lace and I can tell the moment he enters her because she lets out a sinful moan. "I want you to keep your panties on though. So that when I come home you can present them to me soaked from you touching yourself thinking about me."

I finally shake myself out of it and before Jensen can turn Liv around I grab the remote and hit stop. "Well I guess that is not a home video for the grand kids!" I say with a laugh trying to hide the lust in my voice. I look down and luckily I don't think Lara should be able to see how ridiculously hard I am.

Lara looks over at me and starts to laugh. "No I gotta say that is probably private." She lays back down on her pillow and I can see her cheeks are a bit flushed. "Not gonna lie that was kinda hot."

That statement almost gets me to choke but I cover it with a laugh. "What can I say regardless of the world I am one sexy guy." Lara looks over at me and chuckles. "Hey I think I wasn't too shabby myself."

We both lay there for a moment just looking at each other until I cough nervously. "Well I guess we should get some sleep. I'll hit the lights." I roll over and turn of the lights and roll back to see Lara snuggling into her pillow.

I'm not sure what comes over me but I move over to her and lay my hand on her stomach. "They are lucky aren't they." I say quietly. Lara smiles at shakes her head yes. "Yeah they are." I fall asleep with my hand resting over their child and couldn't have asked for a better night's sleep.

In the morning I am awoken by the smell of bacon and eggs. I don't quite remember when I feel asleep I just know I feel asleep holding Lara, well I guess Liv's body. I stretch out in the bed and hear the faint sounds of Lara's laugh. I get out of the bed and pull on a tshirt and head out to the main space. Chad is sitting on a barstool at the kitchen laughing with Lara while she is cooking on the stove. She is wrapped up in a silk robe and she doesn't notice me yet. "Moring." I tell them both crossing the room and grabbing Lara for a quick kiss, I assume Chad would find it funny if I didn't kiss her, or I just wanted to. I guess it doesn't matter either way I get to touch her lips with mine. "Morning to you too." She whispers into my lips.

"So what's for breakfast?" I ask moving a stool too. Lara puts a plate in front of me and Chad winks at me. "She's nesting." I smile and start to eat my food.

I realize we have an appointment this morning and I have no clue where it is and how to get to it. "So do you think you could write the address down for the appointment?" I ask him trying to sound casual.

Chad breaks out in to laughs. "Don' worry Galileo I have your car pulled around front and already put the address into gps since you couldn't find your way out of paper bag." He keeps laughing but Lara and exchange looks. A lot is different here.

"I'm going to get ready and we can head out then once you're ready." Lara tells me has she heads into the bedroom. Chad smiles at me and continues to eat his food. "So we don't have anything this afternoon right?" I ask him. I want Lara and I to keep to ourselves has much as possible.

He grabs the day planner and goes today. "No you guys are good until your class. It's your first one so you should really go. I'll make sure that Jared makes it to work and we'll see you guys later tonight."

I finish my breakfast and head back to the bedroom myself. I grab a pair of jeans out of the dresser and a tshirt with a button down. The clothes aren't that different then my normal type but I can feel how much more expensive Jensen's clothes are then mine. He does a good job of taking care of Liv. They have a nice life together. I figure I can get a shower after we get back.

"Hey you ready to go?" Lara asks from the bathroom door. She has a skirt and a loose sweater on along with the boots she had on yesterday. I shake my head yes and I grab the keys and we get to the car.

Luckily the key chain has a Mercedes symbol on it so I can match it up with the Mercedes out front. "Nice ride." I say with a smirk to the car out front. Lara smiles and gets in the passenger seat. I turn the car on and the gps is already set. "There a few differences aren't there." I say to her trying to make conversation.

"Yeah I mean for one you have no sense of direction. I am a healthy eater." Lara chuckles and shakes her head. "I mean when was the last time I said no to a burger. Then Jared eats crappy and he's a lady man. I don't remember him ever having one night stands."

It's weird how different yet similar we really are. I pull into the office that the gps tells me to and we get a spot and head into the waiting room. Lara goes in to check in at the desk and then comes back and takes a seat next to me. She grabs my hand and squeezes it. We're married here people expect certain things. We are both reading different magazines until they call us. "Olivia Ackles." The nurse calls from the door.

We get up and follow them through the doors and the nurse takes us into a treatment room and starts by taking Lara's blood pressure and temperature then lets us know the doctor will be in soon. We don't have to wait long and the doctor comes through. The name on her tag says Dr. Cole. "How are you today Olivia?" She asks with a big smile.

Lara looks down at her stomach. "I think I am fine. They made the appointment because not only has my morning sickness been bad but I also passed out at work yesterday." The nurse looks over her chart and comes over to Lara.

"It doesn't look like anything is wrong with your stats more than likely you just wore yourself out working. I want you to try and take a few days off to relax and don't put any unneeded stress on your body or your baby. The morning sickness should be dissipating soon. Now why don't we get an ultrasound and just make sure the baby is fine."

Dr. Cole motions for Lara to lay down on the table and I jump up next to her and hold her hand has the doctor has Lara lift up her shirt and lower her skirt. "This is going to be a bit cold." The doctor tells her while she puts some gel on Lara's stomach and pulls out a wand.

Our eyes are fixed on the monitor has the doctor moves the wand around and stops on a little blob. "Oh there is your baby. It looks good and healthy. Do you guys want to know the sex?"

Lara's eyes nearly bug out and she looks at me. She keeps her eyes on me while she talks to the doctor. "We still aren't sure if we want a surprise. Can you ask me again next time we come in." The doctor smile and shakes her head yes and prints out a copy of the picture on the screen and hands it to Lara.

"Now make sure that you rest the next few days and I'll see you both in class tonight." The doctor leaves and I grab a rag and wipe the gel of her stomach gently. I feel a pain in my gut. I will never get to see my actual Lara like this. I will be long dead by the time she is pregnant. I'll never get to take her to the doctor to look at our baby.

We leave the doctors and Lara keeps the picture of the baby in her hands. "I wasn't sure if we should find out. I wasn't sure if Liv and Jensen want to know the baby's gender. This way they get to find out on their own." Her eyes look down at her stomach. "And to be honest I think it would be too hard on me if I had to know the gender of the baby that is in me." I reach across and grab her hand and squeeze it.

The drive is quiet after that. Lara keeps a hold of my hand and looks out the window. "Hey pull over at the grocery store. I should get us some stuff." I pull in to the grocery store. "So I figured I'd make lasagna, garlic bread, and salad for dinner with my family on Saturday and meatloaf, mashed potatoes and do you want green beans or asparagus."

"Ick, neither!" I say with a laugh. Lara turns a smile on me. "I don't think so. You need to eat something healthy so pick." 

"Green beans." I say with a frown. Lara laughs and continues to write a list on the back of a receipt she found in her purse. "I figured we'd get some lunch meats and I'd make some potato salad and macaroni salad. What do you want for dinner tonight?"

"Steak and french fries?" I ask hopefully. Lara writes it down. "So I was thinking I'd make an apple pie for dessert on Saturday and a cherry for Sunday. Do you want a cake or cupcakes tonight?"

Man this weekend is going to be awesome for food. "Can't we make another pie?" I ask hopefully. Lara laughs. "I won't have time to make a pie tonight so pick between cake or cupcakes. You can even pick the icing."

"Cake and I want funfetti." I say sadly even though I am excited to have it regardless. For just a week I can get a peak at what our live would be like if I ever grew a pair of balls and told Lara that I loved her and get to marry her.

She continues to scribble down notes on her list. "Alright and we'll get pancake batter and I'll do waffles on Sunday morning with bacon and blueberry pancakes with sausage on Monday . Does that sound alright?" I shake my head yes. Quite frankly it sounds amazing. Sometimes I forget that for a year she was a cook at Ellen's. I always knew she was talented in the kitchen I guess I just forgot how talented.

I never thought grocery shopping could be fun. Growing up it was stressful. I only had a few bucks to stretch to keep Sammy feed. Here we have credit card and we can get whatever we want. I don't have to worry about stretching a dollar for a week. Lara and I wonder through the aisles and she picks things up and puts them in the cart. This is the most domestic thing I have ever done.

By the time we get back it is late afternoon and Chad and Jared are long gone. I help Lara get all the food into the kitchen and once it's put away I head to the shower. I enjoy the awesome shower for a bit. The water pressure is beyond amazing and the water stays warm for a long time.

I get dressed and go back to the kitchen where Lara is cooking and singing. I stand back and just listen to her sing Sweet Child of Mine. She is mixing whatever it is she is working on, singing, and dancing. She most finally notice I am in the room because she turns around and smiles at me not stopping her solo. I can't help but start to sing along with her. She laughs at how tone death I am but we finish it up together.

The rest of the afternoon is quite relaxing. Lara makes a cake and starts to make the potato salad and macaroni salad for the weekend. We have a birthing class tonight back at the doctor's office so Lara makes out dinner early with a promise of desert when we get back. I try not to gag when I see her pour chocolate sauce on her steak. She notices me looking at her and she just shrugs it off saying it's cravings. Chad and Jared still haven't come back yet so she leaves their plates in the oven with a note that dinner is there when they get back.

It's strange how quickly this isn't strange. The whole drive over doesn't feel weird and wrong. We pull up and there are quite a few cars there. We head in and see 7 other couples there with us. We take a seat and wait for the class to start. It seems stupid for us to be there but it's expected for Liv and Jensen to be there.

The first part of the class is pretty basic. Dr. Cole goes over the basics of what all the women are going through in the class and what we can expect. We don't get into birthing specifics because most everyone in the class is only a few months along. At the end of the class there is a question and answer session and then we all go home.

Lara is quiet most of the drive home. I think this is hard on her emotionally. The doctor mentioned numerous times how crazy each mom's hormones are right now. She said that in any given hour the mom can go from happy to crying to wanting sex and it was our duty has the ones who knocked her up to support her. Even if that means laughing with her, letting her cry on our shoulder, then fucking her senseless. That part made me a bit squeamish because I am not really Jensen and Lara isn't really Olivia. Has much has I want to fuck her senseless I really shouldn't be touching her.

A man at the front door takes our car and guess puts in a garage somewhere and Lara and I head up to our apartment. Chad and Jared are sitting at the kitchen table laughing when we come in. They both look up at us has we come in and Jared points a fork at Lara. "Ok who are you and what have you done with my sister?"

Lara freezes and looks at me petrified. Then Jared starts to laugh. "Because Liv you can't cook worth a shit and this is awesome." Lara blushes and looks down. "I did some research. I'm going to be a mom soon and I need to learn."

Jared jumps up and gives Lara a hug. "Well I approve. And it was Chad's idea to break into the cake!" He says avoiding Lara's playful slap. Chad gives us a horrified expression. "That is just not true!" We all laugh and I motion for Lara to sit at the table and I get us both a slice of cake has well.

We all spend the rest of the evening hanging out and going over what is in store for tomorrow. I am a bit nervous about the interview but I am hoping that all the bullshiting Lara and I do while we hunt will come in handy now.

Around 11 Jared jumps up and declares that he is going out and Lara and I just laugh at how different Jared is from Sam. It's like pulling teeth to get Sam to go out with me sometimes and Jared seems ready to party every night. Chad heads down to his apartment that is apparently a few floors down and Lara and I head to the bedroom to get ready for bed.

Getting ready with her seems too natural. Unlike the shitty motels we stay at this bathroom is huge and has more than enough room for us both to get ready together. We brush our teeth and Lara washes her face and puts on cream. It feels like we do this every night and I guess these bodies do.

I head out and find another pair of sleep pants and Lara puts on a similar night gown to the one she had on last night. I hate to admit it but I find her little bump to be incredibly sexy and I can't stop caressing it.

Maybe it's the act we put on day. Maybe it's because I can't sleep without her. Maybe it's me trying to get has much of her has possible before I die. Whatever it is once Lara rolls over to sleep I come up behind her and cuddle her from behind resting my hand over their baby and I sleep.

a/n I hope you guys liked it! If you have a chance please review it. I like to know what you guys are thinking and what you like and don't like.


	50. Chapter 50

Lara's POV

I've known Dean most of my life and I have never seen him sleep this well. He is out like a light and he has hardly moved since we went to sleep last night. Sleeping for me has always been a battle but here my dreams aren't haunted. No the first night here I dreamt about Jensen and Olivia's wedding and last night I had a dream about their honeymoon, or more to the fact, the flight to take them there. Jensen is apparently not afraid of flying and they joined the mile high club.

Last night I did sleep well but around 8 am I woke up and had to go the bathroom. I carefully detangled myself from Dean and once I was done came back into the bedroom. I could tell I was awake for the day so I went out the kitchen to prep some stuff for breakfast later. After I had the biscuit batter made and got things ready for the gravy I decided to go back to the bedroom. I looked through my bedside table planning on finding a book to read but instead I found a journal. I know journals are private but if I have to pretend to be Olivia the rest of the time I am here I could deal with any insight I can get.

Getting back into bed with Dean was easy. The moment I got back under the covers and propped up on a pillow he rolled back over and buried his head into my side and threw his arm over my stomach. It makes me wish more than anything that I had this life. I am so in love with him and I'll never have this. I'll never have him.

The journal starts around a month before Jared, Liv, and their mom come up to Canada. She talks about how excited she is for her brother to be getting a starring role in a new tv show and how she isn't sure what she wants to do now that she is graduated. She talks about not wanting to go to college because what she really wants to do is own her own ranch. Her mom and dad's best friends own a ranch the next town over that apparently Liv is in love with. It has a river going through it and some slight rolling hills. The ranch house apparently looks like the Windsor castle of log cabins. Her dream is to raise horses while her husband deals with the cattle. I guess right now it's just a cattle farm but in her mind she's already decided where the horse barn would go. She drew a map of how she would lay out the property for the horses and the kinds she wants to breed. I don't really understand much about what she is talking about but she seems to really love it. I guess acting wasn't her first passion. After the show she could maybe have that though.

I really enjoy reading about her falling in love with Jensen. Her first entry with him in it is just like Beth, my Jo look alike, describes it.

_Dear Journal,_

_ Today was it. I meet the love of my life today. Ok so maybe I am being a bit of a drama queen but I could just tell. We got in last night from Texas and mom and I took Jared in to his first day on set. They still had some spots to fill and wanted both the boys in to test read with them. When we got there Jared went off to talk to his costar while mom and I sat in the back. _

_ The room was so crowded but the moment I locked eyes with him it felt like we were the only two in the room. I didn't know who he was at first. I saw him talking to Jared and he just stopped talking and locked eyes with me. My heart stopped beating and beat faster all at once. He then started to actually walk over to me._

_ When we started talking it felt like we knew each other our whole lives. Before I knew what was happening Jared's boss came over and gave me a script and had me read the part for Lara Maywin. Next thing I know I am getting hired to play her. I never thought about being an actress like my brother has since I can remember but this job will let me be near Jensen everyday so I don't care what it is. _

The whole scene puts a smile on my face. I like to hear about some version of me being so happy. Jared, Jensen, and Liv move into a three bedroom apartment here in Vancouver since they aren't sure if the show is going to take off.

If she loves him even half has much as I love Dean then they will last forever. I can't think like that. He will never be with me. He has known me since I was 5 years old and he could never love me like Jensen loves Olivia. They met old enough to be together. Maybe if I had meet Dean last year on a hunt he could love me but I didn't. At the same time though I would never trade the years I had with him. He was my best friend, my hunting partner, and I wish my lover. I get to the point in her journal when they have sex for the first time. For just a moment I feel like I should skip over it but I don't.

_Dear Journal,_

_ Last night Jensen and I made love for the first time. He knew I was a virgin and he was so gentle that even thinking about it now makes me feel warm and tingly. I always told Beth that I was saving myself for my soul mate. I knew the moment that I meet Jensen he was it for me. Has you know a few weeks ago Jensen and I told each other we know we are soul mates and he said he loved me then...we made out all night._

_ Last night Jared went out with one of his many girl friends leaving Jensen and I alone. We called for carry out and had a candle lit meal. After dinner he poured us champagne and drew me a bath. After my bath I came into my room to see it covered in candles and rose petals. Jensen was smiling and told me that he loved me and that he wanted to spend forever with me. _

_ I have been nervous about this moment since my girl friends started to lose their virginity. I have been told by numerous friends that this is painful and never good the first time. We made out for what felt like hours and he brought foreplay to a whole new level. By the time he entered me I was more than ready. I can't even explain how amazing it was. I can' wait to spend forever with him have sex with him every day and every night._

I keep reading about how they fall even deeper in love and start to date without telling Jared or anyone else for that matter. I guess they are extremely worried about the age difference. Jensen is pretty sure Jared, Dylan, and Liv's dad are going to kill him. One of the most ridiculous entries is when the shit does hit the fan.

_Dear Journal,_

_ I know if you could be you would be saying I told you so bitch! God this is not good. I think they are going to kill him. I guess I am a bit ahead of myself since I haven't written to you in a few days. So last night Jared went out, like he does most nights (insert eye roll because he has random sex with women all the time and I can't have monogamous sex with Jensen.) and like normal he wants Jensen to go out but Jen says he's just to tired and wants to stay home. The moment Jared shuts the door and I hear the lock click I jump and wrap my legs around him and demand he takes me to bed. _

_ So normally we are really careful about going back to our own beds when we are done but well for whatever reason that night it was just so much more than normal. We truly made love and connected on some other plane so the idea of going back to my own bed was physically painful. I promised Jensen I would wake up in a bit and head to my own bed but I drifted off. _

_ Next thing I know Jensen is getting ripped out of my arms and flung on the floor and Jared is pounding his fists into his face. I get wrapped up in a sheet and try to pull Jared off him but he just won't stop. So I grab a book off Jensen's bedside table and throw it at the back of Jared head. That seems to stop him for a moment and he looks at me. "What the fuck is going on here?!" He yells at me._

_ "I love him Jared and he loves me." I knell down and try to take care of Jensen. He is going to have a black eye and his lip is split. His nose might be broken or it's just bleeding like a hydrant. Jared got in a few good shots. _

_ Jared then storms out of the apartment and we don't see him till today when he comes back with Dylan, dad, and mom. I have very little say in the matter and Dylan, Jared, and dad take Jensen out of the apartment. Mom has been trying to calm me down for the last hour and I told her all about Jensen and me and how happy we are. Mom just has this I knew it look on her face and she takes it all really well. I just want him to come back to me, unharmed. I have tried all their phones but they go straight to voice mail. I just want him back._

_Hey Journal it's me again. I just wanted to let you know that he came back about an hour ago. They were all roaring drunk and must have called Chad to pick them all up because they came stumbling back into our apartment with a very sober Chad ushering them in. Jensen has a split lip and his other eye is black now too. He said that he can't tell me what happened between the men because they made a deal and no one is talk about it ever again. He just passed out in bed with me and surprisingly no one threw a shit fit when he crawled into my bed and not his. So I guess things are alright now...?_

I know Sam very well so I can imagine what Jared scary face looks like. I have seen pictures of Dylan and I knew John well enough to know how scary having all of them coming in steaming mad and taking Jensen out of the apartment must have been. I could see how Liv would think her family was going to kill him and bury the body. I am kinda glad that John didn't have a daughter back in my world because I think he would have been outright terrifying if someone ever hurt her. Poor Jensen...

The next few months seem to go well for them. They decide they are just going to tell family and friends that they are together. They don't want to tell the producers or announce it because they don't want the media circus that would surround it. Nor do that they want some stupid nick name like Bradgelina... not that I can blame them. Then comes the proposal. It is not the way I would have imagined it went. Not in this world where everything seems to perfect. It seems like something that would happen in my world. I can't imagine me has Lara getting to have a wonderful and romantic proposal which is what I imaged for Liv. It happened the same night that in my world Dean and I got hit by the semi truck and died temporarily until Gabriel found a way to bring us back. It's also the night John died in our world.

_Dear Journal,_

_Last night was the best and worst night of my life. Jensen and Jared went out for their brodinner. Since we got together Jared insisted on having one meal a month with just Jensen, his best friend, and one meal a month with just me. After 11 I started to get worried. I knew they were just going to get burgers and they should have been back 2 hours before. I kept trying their phones but no one picked up. _

_Around midnight Jared finally called and told me that they had gotten in a horrible crash and that he just woke up and Jensen was still in surgery. I didn't even have time to think before I was running downstairs to grab a cab to get me to the hospital. _

_When I got there Jensen was out of surgery and in recovery. The doctors weren't sure if he would suffer and brain damage and were waiting to see how he was when he woke up. I sat in the room holding his hand and praying for him to wake up all night. _

_Around 6 am he finally woke up. His green eyes meet mine and he broke into a weak smile. "Liv." He sighed out and I fell on him crying. He was awake and he seems alright. He hugged me back has best he good and then asked me to get his jacket. The nurses folded all the clothes he came in with and put them on a chair near the end of the bed. I give him the jacked and he digs through the pockets and pulls out a small box. _

_He smiles at me and says. "I know this isn't the way I thought it would go but after last night I can't wait for the perfect moment. I am so in love with you Liv that it hurts to be away from you. I can only see myself with you for the rest of our lives. Will you marry me?"_

_Of course I said yes and he slipped the ring on my finger and we cuddled on the hospital bed the rest of the morning. It may not have been the perfect moment he planned on but it was the perfect moment._

That is more like the proposal I would see me having. If I was ever lucky enough that Dean would want to marry me. I can't believe that the same night we almost died they got in an accident too. They got lucky. They didn't have an archangel working to bring them back in their world.

I am so wrapped up on their world that I don't notice Dean waking up at first. I am almost to now in her journal and I feel like I have a better understanding of who she is and who they are together. I am not has nervous about going to the interview today. Dean stretches out and his arm flings over my abdomen and pulls me closer to him. He splays his hand out lovingly over my stomach and rubs his finger tips over the baby. I love him touching me even though I know once he wakes up fully and knows what he is doing he will stop. I enjoy it for a few more minutes when Dean finally comes to and pushes back gently and gives me a big goofy grin. "I haven't slept this good in years. I like it over here." I smile back at him.

"I know what you mean. I haven't had a nightmare since we've been here. I have spent most nights dreaming about memories of Liv's." Dean starts to sit up and shakes his head. "Yeah me to. I think I have a good read on their life. Have you been up long?"

The clock next to the bed says 11 am. "Wow yeah I guess I have been. I got up around 8 and found Liv's journal. I wanted to know what I could about her before the interview today."

Dean turns around and looks at the journal in my lap. "Anything I need to know?" He asks me. We both have to answer correct today. "Well just like Beth said in the dvd they feel in love right away. The first time Jared found about them he punched Jensen in the face and called his brother and dad up. Liv doesn't know what happened between them that night but they all came back drunk and Jensen had a black eye. Liv has always wanted to own some ranch near her childhood home. Oh and Jensen proposed to her the day after he woke up from a car accident the same day in our world that we had that accident, you know after Matt and everything." I still don't want to talk about what happened with Matt. It hurts to much. Dean pulls me into a hug knowing that just saying his name hurts.

"Well why don't we get up and have some breakfast and I guess get ready to head over to the interview." I get out of bed and put on a silk robe. "I started breakfast already. Why don't you take a shower. By the time you are done so should breakfast."

Working in the kitchen just feels natural to me. Regardless of it's at the Roadhouse, my apartment, a motel, or apparently another universe. I remember what Jared said yesterday about Liv not being able to cook but I don't care. I very rarely get to cook in a nice kitchen and I am going to enjoy it. I run back to the bedroom while the gravy is simmering and I hear Dean singing off key in the shower. I grab Liv's journal and bring it back to the kitchen with me. I will leave her with some easy recipes before I go so I know she'll be able to feed her family.

_Dear Liv,_

_I know this sounds crazy but well I don't know how to put it but this is Lara Maywin. You may know me since you play my life on tv. I don't know where Balthazar sent you but he sent Dean and me here to be safe for a week. I will try to keep you posted on what we do here so when you come back it's not too confusing. I know you might not believe me and you might decide you have had a breakdown but talk to Jensen. I bet just like you he will agree he hasn't been in his body for the last week. I swear to you that I will keep your little life safe in you while I am here. I won't let anything happen to the baby. I will eat healthy and take all the vitamins that you doctor wants me to take. I passed out a few minutes after coming here and Chad made me go to your doctor. She said everything was fine and gave us another picture of the baby. The next time you go you can find out the gender. I didn't want to make that decision for you. We also went to your first birthing class. Don't worry you didn't miss much. I m going write down a few recipes for you so that you can start to learn how to cook. I hope you and Jensen have been somewhere safe while we've been here. I am sorry for interrupting your life. _

_Lara_

There is noise at the front door and I slam the journal shut and whip around to see Chad coming into the room with a coffee cup and a few newspapers under his arm. He places them on the counter and motions towards the stove. "What's that?" He asks.

"It's breakfast. I have the biscuits baking and the sausage gravy will be done in a few minutes. Jen is showering and will be out in a few minutes. Can I borrow your papers?" I ask him. He smiles and hands them over. I quickly look through them like I would at home. There isn't any strange mystery deaths or anything in them. Maybe those things don't exist here.

A pair of warm hands grab my waist and pulls me into a warm body. I relax and smile knowing it's just Dean. "Breakfast looks great baby. Do you want to eat then take your shower? We have that interview today." I shake my head and just relax in his embrace. He moves the hair off my neck and kisses me softly down to my shoulders. I know this is an act but it feels so good.

"Damn something smells good over!" Jared calls out from the front door has he makes his way to the counter in the kitchen and pulls out a stool. "I guess you weren't kidding when you said you were learning to cook Liv. It's about time!"

I act put out and frown at him but Jared laughs at me and Dean kisses my temple. "I think you are perfect just the way you are." Jared makes fake gagging sounds and I plate everyone's breakfast and hand it out. I go to grab a cup of coffee when Chad jumps up and lightly hits my hand. "You know what the doctor said Liv! No coffee! You can make yourself a cup of herbal tea though." I moan in frustration but I promised Liv I would take care of her baby.

Dean gives me a hug and pours his coffee out. "If you can't have any I won't either." He whispers into my ear. The feel of his breath on my ears make me tingle. "Thanks but you don't have too. I know you love your coffee."

Jared and Chad are both watching us now. Dean spins me around and kisses me softly. "But I love you more." I smile at him and I can feel tears creeping into the corners of my eyes. Stupid hormones! Dean brings his thumbs to my eyes and whips the tears away. "Why don't you go get ready love." I shake my head and stand on my toes and kiss his lips, lingering a bit longer then I should, and pull away and head back to our room.

Getting ready is more difficult than it should be. First of all due to my new found pregnancy hormones Dean's little stunt in the kitchen has me incredibly horny and there is nothing I can do about it. I get showered fast trying to think of anything but his lips on mine and come out in a towel and rip through my closet. After about 5 minutes I yell out to Chad. "What should I wear?"

Chad is chuckling and comes into the bedroom and doesn't seem fazed that I am just in a towel. "It doesn't matter Liv. If they want to do a photo shoot they will dress you." He digs through my closet and pulls out a loose gold sweater that feels softer than anything I have ever owned and a tank to go underneath. He goes right to my jean drawer and pulls a pair out and throws them on the bed. He finishes it up with my cowboy boots and a leather jacket. "That should hide your bump enough. When you're ready come out and we'll go."

Before I know it we are all in what must be Chad's car because it's an old Honda unlike the Mercedes we drove yesterday. Apparently Jared was suppose to drive us in his car but he claims he's to hung over to drive. Jared is up front while Dean and I are in the back. He pulls me across the bench seat and puts his arm around me and kisses the top of my head. Chad reminds me to put my wedding rings in my pocket and Dean puts his on his other hand before we are dropped off.

We pull up at an office building and Chad drops the car off with valet and well all head to the elevator. When we get up there an assistant explains to us that they are going to interview Jared then Jensen, then Olivia, then everyone. I grab on to Dean and shake my head no. I really don't want us being interviewed separately. It's not good for our cover. Dean grabs Chad and whispers something to him and Chad goes to talk to the assistant. In a few minutes he comes back and tells us that we can be interviewed together.

Jared goes first and Dean and I sit nervously off to the side while they set up. I can see a photo shoot set up behind the interviewer and cringe at the idea of having to do one. Chad tries to keep us entertained but I am feeling tired all of a sudden and my stomach is feeling sick. I rub my belly absently until Dean places his hand over mine and smiles. He leans in and whispers. "Don't be nervous. We will try to guide the interview to stuff we know." Then he kisses my temple. I blush and relax in my seat. Before we go in Chad reminds us that we interviewed with this man last year and his name is Bryan.

Way to soon Jared is done and the assistant brings another chair over and motions for us. Once we sit down I am hit with a pungent smell and notice there is a food table set up near us. I just try to ignore it. "Hello Jensen and Olivia. It's nice to see you guys again. It's been awhile since our last interview." He extends his hand and we do the polite thing and shake it. "So how is this season going for you both and your characters?"

My stomach starts to flip and I will it to stop and Dean starts to try and answer. "Um... well.. this is a really emotional season to film... um you well ... you know with the demon thing and everything." The man gives a confused look. I guess we are usually better at this. I start to rub my stomach hoping to calm it.

"How is it playing a man who just sold his soul to save his brother's life and knows he only has a year to live?" Dean tenses next to me and on instinct I reach across and grab his hand and squeeze it. He should not have to talk about this with this stranger. He will hardly talk about it to me. I feel my stomach start to rebel and I gag slightly.

Dean jumps out of his seat and is in front of me in an instant. "Are you alright Lara?" He asks quietly. I shake my head no. "The food table. It's making me..." I don't finish it and I start to throw up. Dean's hunter reflexes kick in and he has a trash can for me to throw up in before I even start. I finish and lean back in my seat. Chad and Jared both have jumped up and are standing behind my chair but I know that Dean will take care of it.

"Can you get me a ginger ale?" Dean asks one of the stage hands quickly. They shake their head and come back in a minute with a ginger ale and wet rag. Dean wipes off my forehead and gives me the ginger ale to sip on then looks back at a confused Bryan. "Can you move the food table it's making her sick."

Bryan starts to bark out orders and the table is quickly moved. He keeps giving me nervous glances. "Are you alright Olivia?" He asks me.

Before my brain can catch up with my mouth I respond. "I'm fine I'm just pregnant." Then it dawns on me. Jensen and Liv are keeping this a secret. Well fuck! Chad and Jared both let out gasps behind me and I mentally hit myself. Great just two days has Liv and I have ruined their biggest secret. Bryan sits back with a shocked look on his face and Dean just smirks at me. No use pretending I didn't just say it. "Bryan when will this article run?"

"It's due out next week." He responds. I shake my head and think for a moment. "Ok so here's the deal. I will tell you everything but I need you to wait till at least Sunday. My parents are coming this weekend and we are waiting to tell them about the baby in person." I reach over and grab Dean's hand. "Just like we did with Jensen's parents."

That gets a response from Bryan. He sits up straighter in his seat and while he is adjusting himself I grab the rings out of my pocket and put them back on my ring finger. Dean does the same thing with his. "Jensen and I have been married for over a year now and we are expecting our first child. I am 4 months pregnant." Sorry Liv I think to myself.

Bryan starts to write things down and he looks back up at us. "So why the secrecy? Every time someone asks you both about your romantic life you always refuse to talk about it."

Dean squeezes me hand . I know he's going to answer. "We have been worried that people would assume the only reason we are together is because of the show but that's not it. The moment I saw her come onto the set I knew she was it for me. She didn't have a part yet and she wasn't going to be auditioning either. It was love at first sight. We both felt it and knew we had meet our soul mate. The directors picked up on our chemistry. We just didn't want people to turn something beautiful into a circus." I think he did good hitting all the points that Jensen and Liv would want us too.

I pull on Dean's hand and he leans over and gives me a soft kiss. "I know it's true love because he gave up coffee today for me since I can't have any since I'm pregnant." I say with a laugh. Bryan chuckles and writes that down.

"So how has it been filming the last few years dating and being married. I mean sometimes they have you guys in pretty precarious scenes. I mean just recently the episode aired where Dean slept with a bartender in the back of the car. Even if he couldn't well... you know perform.." Bryan says with a laugh. I mentally mark that to talk to Dean about later. "You still had to watch your husband in the back of the car."

For a moment I want to yell at the interviewer about talking about our private life but I take a deep breath. This isn't our private life. Our life is a tv show and Bryan doesn't know that the incident he is talking about actually broke my heart. "It was a bit rough but I know that Jensen loves me and that was just him acting." I remember reading about that day in Liv's journal. After the shoot Liv took Jensen back to their trailer and emphasized to him whose man he really is. I can feel my cheeks start to blush. They have quite an active and rigorous sex life.

"How about the season 3 opener when you both almost had a threesome with Lust. That must have been a strange scene to film with your wife." He comments to Dean. When we hunt we just to slip into roles and just like there Dean slips into his role has Jensen here flawlessly. "Oh that was a fun scene to film. I got paid to make out with my gorgeous wife. Not many people get paid to do their favorite thing." Dean says and turns to me and winks.

Bryan chuckles has he flips through some pages of his notes and looks up at us again. "How was it filming the season finale for season 1 then? To the viewer the scene where Lara is being sexually assaulted by ummm... the character Matt seemed very real. I know I felt sick just watching it at home. Was that hard for you to watch Jensen?"

My eyes start to prickle. Damn hormones, I still have a hard time talking about that moment with Dean in the real world. I don't want to talk to a stranger about it. Dean puts his arm around me knowing this is difficult. "It was extremely difficult." Dean looks at me and I calm myself in his green eyes. "I don't wish it on anyone that they would ever have to see the love of their life get attacked like that. It was incredibly painful knowing there was nothing I could do."

I keep my eyes locked on Dean's. He is trying to send me comfort right now. He leans over and kisses my forehead. I rest my head on his shoulder and look at the interviewer. "I know that it was a tv scene but it felt real for a bit. If Jensen hadn't been in the scene with me I don't think I would have survived it." I think that should give the interviewer what he needs but I hope Dean knows how much him being there saved me.

We keep talking for a bit about more mundane things. Mostly about Liv and Jensen's life. We talk about how Jensen proposed, where we had our honeymoon, normal domestic things. Then what has happened to Lara and Dean in the show. Bryan decides he does want to do a photo shoot but totally changes it from his original idea. I guess they were going to dress us all up like our characters and do some dark supernatural based shoot. But instead they do a family setting. It's nice and relaxing. I think holding a gun and pretending to be me would not have been quite has relaxing. By the time the interview and photo shoot is over I am exhausted. We all get back into the car and head home. Jared is all giggles and it's kind of freaking me out. He's so different then Sam. Chad meets my gaze in the rearview mirror. "That was unexpected but I am very proud of you both. You did a great job back there. I am glad you guys have decided to stop hiding your relationship and come out with it." I smile at him and Dean pus his arm around me and pulls me back into him. "Yeah it really is for the best." Dean responds.

"Do you guys still want to go look for a new car today?" Chad asks us both. I give Dean a confused look. I don't remember us talking about that before. "I know you guys are worried that the Mercedes convertible is not a family friendly vehicle and wanted to go look at Audi Q5 I believe. We talked about going today."

I look up at Dean and shake my head. I am just to tired right now. "How about if we drop Liv off to take a nap and we can go take a look." Dean suggests. I relax into him. I could really use a nap. I shake my head in agreement and Chad drops us off. Jared decides to take a nap too since he plans on, and I quote, going all out tonight.

I must have been more tired than I thought. I am asleep in a matter of minutes once I get back to our bed. I'm not sure how long I have been out but I wake up to Dean moving my hair out of my eyes. "Hey Lara it's time to get up. I got them a new car today." He says with a smile. I smile back at him and we head out to the living room.

Chad has a huge smile on his face and he runs over and gives me a tight hug. "Thank you so much Liv." I hug him back but give Dean a confused look. Dean smirks and pulls me back under his arm. "Well while we were looking at getting our car that is safer for the baby I decided that Chad needed a better car too. I assumed he would have our baby in his car at one point so we got him a new one that is safer."

"That's perfect!" I agree and give Dean a hug. "I would have to agree that more than likely you will be carting our baby around at some point and it makes me feel much better that our little peanut will be safer with you." I can't help but touch my stomach when I talk about the baby.

"Thank you both. Don't worry. I will make sure to take care of the baby like it was my own. Now you guys need to get changed. Jared has already gone to airport to pick everyone up. I guess Tom and Chad are coming with Allison and Kristin too." He says with an eye roll. I guess we should start to get ready.

"Where are they staying?" Dean asks. Chad shrugs his shoulders. "I guess they are staying in your alls apartments. You guys have a the guest room and the sofa because you have cleared out the other guest room for the nursery. By the way Jensen your mom called with ideas for the nursery. She said she has mailed you both some paint swatches and a cute print she found. I think it's cute that you are having both moms help with one of the two nurseries."

It seems like we are missing something. This is the unfortunate part of not really knowing what's going on. These names seem like names we should know but for all I know they are just Jared's friends.

Dean and I head back into our bedroom and try and find outfits for the night that is something our counterparts would wear. "Dean can I ask you something?" I start while I am going through our closet pulling out a blue sweater dress. It will be a bit tight but I don't mind showing off the bump a bit. "Yeah what's up?"

"Is what Bryan said true?" I ask him. Dean gives me a confused look. "What he said about you and that bartender. That you weren't actually able to you know."

His face turns bright red. It's rare I get to see him blush. "It's umm.. well..." He starts to rub the back of his neck and I can tell this is an uncomfortable conversation for him. "Ok so yeah I did sleep with her but I wasn't able to you know... I just felt guilty and I knew it was wrong."

What he is expecting my response to be isn't sure but I know it wasn't me giving him a hug. "Why didn't you tell me?"

He shrugs his shoulder. "I still did it. I doubted it would matter if I actually was able to or not. I just didn't want to sound like I was making excuses." I hold him tighter for a moment. "It does make a difference." I respond quietly.

Before he can respond there is a loud commotion in the living room. We both lay the clothes we picked out on the bed and head out to the living room. "Jensen! Liv!" A tall brunette man shouts from the front door. I see a smaller blonde man behind him and two girls peaking through. One has a long dark brown hair and another has a short blonde bob cut. The man makes it over to us and gives us both a hug. I think I recognize him from the wedding photos. He was one of Jensen's groomsmen. I am not totally comfortable with a strange man hugging me especially after Bryan opening up the Matt wound, but he does seem kind. "It's great to see you guys. I can't believe it's been almost 4 months since we have all hung out."

Jared comes in to the room holding more suitcases and the girls file in and wave at me awkwardly. "I figured Tom could take the guest room over here and Chad can take one at my place and ladies if your good you can share one at my place."

The brunette female seems a bit agitated. "I thought you said there were two guest rooms in both apartments." Jared laughs off her attitude. I guess her being a bitch is normal. "Well Liv and Jensen had to clean out the guest room over here to paint." He says with a smirk.

I move to usher everyone to sit down . I assume these are our close friends but I really don't know. Once they sit down Dean drops his arm around my shoulder. "Well we needed to do more than paint. Liv's pregnant and we are working on a nursery."

The two men jump up and give us hugs and the blonde girl gives me a weak hug saying congratulations but the brunette stands back. I don't like her. I find out the tall dark haired man is Tom and he seems over the moon for Jensen and Liv. I get the feeling he is closer with them while the other three are closer to Jared. "Well we should get ready to go out." Jared tells us.

"I really don't want to share a bed with Allison." I assume Kristin responds. Jared rolls his eyes at her. "Well then you can stay on the couch bed at Liv's and Jensen's then." I don't think that was the response she was hoping for and Jared drops what must be her bag on to the sofa.

We go back to our room and put on the clothes we laid out. "This should be fun." I say with a sarcastic laugh. Dean snickers in agreement. "Just a few hours. At least we can tell them we need to go to bed early because of the baby." Well that's a good thing at least.

Once I have my clothes I head into the bathroom and quickly change. I put on the blue dress that accentuates the baby bump a bit. I can't see myself ever having a baby in my world because the only man I would ever want to have one with is Dean so I decide to just enjoy this one time feeling. I put on makeup just like Jess taught me. There's a bottle of perfume that says Still on the label and I spray on a bit and head back to the bedroom to get my shoes. Dean is standing changed into a pair of dark blue jeans, a gray under shirt, and a green over shirt. "You look great." We both say at the same time. We both smile and Dean helps me get my leather jacket on. At least I like Liv's fashion sense. I slip on a pair of high heels and head out to the living room. Everyone else is standing in our living room ready. I can't help but notice that Kristin is wearing a really tight and revealing red dress. She gives Dean or I guess Jensen quite the look. I'm not sure if he notices though.

Tom and the new Chad make a big deal about how cute my stomach looks in the much tighter dress and rub it. I try not to get agitated and just remember that these people are Liv's friends, so I can't break their hand for touching me.

Before we can leave Chad pulls me aside. "I called ahead and there is sparkling apple cider there for you." I smile at him and give him a tight hug. I wish we had him has a friend back at home. "Thanks. You want to come out with us?" Chad looks at the group in front of me and shakes his head no.

The cars are pulled out front including what must be our new family friendly Audi. Dean and I get into that and Kristin and Allison get in with us, almost pushing Tom and I guess another Chad over for it. Jared has a BMW behind us for the rest of them. At least his car will have enough room to take them all back home if we leave early.

The bar isn't smoky and Jared gives me a wink when he points at the no smoking sign. At least he was thoughtful. When we get inside I notice a lot of others from the cast and crew from the show. Some I recognize from the day we were there some I recognize because they are someone to me back in my world. Uncle Gabe and Uncle Cas are both drinking a beer with a girl under their arms and smile when we all come in. It's weird seeing them like this. Balthazar is doing a shot with someone I kind of remember from the set.

Dean and I had found a card already sealed for Jared so I just hope there is a gift in it. I pull it out of my bag and put it on the gift table. "Do you want a drink?" Dean asks me pulling me to the bar. "Chad said he has some apple cider here for me."

We get to the bar and Dean waves at the bartender. "Two of the sparkling apple ciders please." I grab Dean's arm and shake my head no. "How often do you get to drink the good stuff?" He gives me a sheepish smile. "You already gave up coffee for me so you might has well enjoy tonight. I will drive us home." I look to the bartender and tell him. "I'll have the sparkling apple cider he'll take a woodford reserve on ice." Dean beams at me and kisses my forehead.

I grab a food menu and look over it quickly and hand it back to the bartender. "Can I also get the potato skins and the brownie sundae with ranch, sour cream, and chocolate sauce on the side?" His eyes widen and he agrees and puts the order through. Dean laughs at me has he pulls his drink to his lips. He lets out a happy sigh. "Jesus this is good ."

One of the girls orders a margarita and once I smell the tequila I feel my stomach rebel. "I'll be right back." I tell Dean and run to the bathroom. I make there just in time to puke and when I am done I stand up and lean against the stall wall.

Two girls come in and they must not notice I am here because they talk bluntly. I look through the cracks and see it's Kristin and Allsion. "I don't get what he sees in her Allison. I mean he was mine first." The brunette named Kristin sneers. "We were onset together for a year and we played around a bit and we were suppose to see each other once he started this stupid show but once she came into the picture he just disappeared!"

"Well he did get married Kristin. Maybe it's time to chalk this one up to failure." She tells her putting on fresh lip gloss. Kristin snickers. "I worked hard on him and I'll get him back. I don't care if some Texas slut got a ring. Jensen was mine first."

Oh no she didn't! I am going to help Liv out on this one. I slam the door open and I catch reflection in the mirror, I look pissed! I pretend that she just said all of that about Dean to get myself angry enough to scare the shit of our her. "I don't know how they do it where you are from but from where I am from we don't take to kindly to sluts talking about our husbands."

Allison looks shocked and the shock on Kristin's face turns to arrogance. "Oh what so you play a big bad hunter on tv and you want me to be afraid of you?"

My instincts just kick in. I wrap my foot around her leg making her fall forward, wrapping her hair in my hands giving me complete control of her head, and grab her arm in a police hold. I stop her face half an inch from slamming it into the sink and rip her arm up to the point where I know it is killing her but isn't ripping the muscles. "They still had to train me to be a big bad hunter on tv bitch. And just so you know it's harder not to slam your face into the sink and rip your arm out of the socket then it is to just about do it. If we have to have this conversation again I will take the easy way out."

Before she can respond I drop her arm pull her up and throw her against the wall and head out of the bathroom. I hope that makes up for blowing the marriage cover Liv. I doubt that bitch will ever come on to your man again.

Back at the bar Dean is laughing with my Uncle Cas and Gabe. No wait I guess they aren't my uncles here. I don't know what they are laughing about but it makes me feel good to see him smiling. He sees me and waves for me to come over. He pulls me into his side and kisses the top of my head. I don't listen to their conversation much and watch Kristin and Allison leave the bathroom. Kristin looks terrified. Good she should be. I chuckle and Dean looks down at me questioningly. I stand on my toes and whisper into his ear what happened in the bathroom. He laughs and pulls me closer.

My food comes out and the waiter puts it down for me and everyone gives me a hard time when I dip the potato skins in the chocolate sauce and the brownie in the ranch but I don't care it tastes good to me right now.

The rest of the night is fairly uneventful. Everyone minus me gets pretty wasted and Jared seems to have a great birthday. Tom decided to stay sober for Jared's car and at the end of the night we all pile back into the vehicles. Going home Kristin avoids my car like the plague so Chad and Jared's drunk asses pile in with us.

We get back to the apartment building and the boys are acting silly in the elevator. It's been awhile since I've seen Dean this relaxed, probably since he made his deal. I am glad he got to have a fun night. We turn the corner to our apartment and once I get the door unlocked Dean swipes me off my feet and carries me to the bedroom. "Bathroom is down the hall and help yourself to the kitchen." Dean tells Tom and Kristin over his shoulder. "I am going to go make love to my wife. See you in the morning."

He pushes the door open and slams it shut and puts me on my feet. "I thought I would help Kristin get the message that Jensen isn't interested." Dean drunkenly smiles at me. I turn him around and slam him against the wall and let out a sultry moan, just loud enough that she can hear it. "I think she just did."

For the next few hours we fake play around with each other all over the room. We make sure to be loud and obnoxious and we can't stop laughing with each other. We pepper in a few "Oh yes right there harder Jensen!" and some "oh god Liv you are so tight I can't..." I know that Kristin is on the couch listening to every last moan and I want to rub it in her face that Jensen is LIv's and Liv is Jensen's . This is the one thing I can do for her. Once we are done we both collapse into bed and look at each other with a laugh. I pull out Liv's journal and quickly leave her a message.

_Dear Liv,_

_I am very sorry about what happened today. We went to your interview and I accidently let it slip that I was pregnant. We then told them how you and Jensen are married and how happy you both are. I am so sorry I did that. I just wasn't thinking._

_We went out for Jared's birthday tonight and some girl named Kristin was talking shit about you in the bathroom saying that she had Jensen first and would get him back. I taught her quite a lesson, don't worry about her anymore I don't think she will so much has look at you_r _husband again let alone talk about him._

_Lara_

"Whatcha doing?" Dean moans out has I put the journal away and turn off the light. "I am writing to Liv so she knows what we got up to in their bodies when they come back." I roll over on my side and lay my head down on the pillow.

Dean moves from his spot on his back to curled around me. "Don't you think it will freak them out." He mutters into my back. I smile at how husband like he is with me right now. I just enjoy it and soak it in. It's the only time I'll get like this with him. "It might but I think they are stronger than that." Dean doesn't respond and he is lightly snoring into my shoulder blades. He always snores a bit when he drinks too much. I close my eyes and drift off to sleep.

A/n wow that chapter got long fast. I hope you liked it.


	51. Chapter 51

Dean's POV

I don't believe in miracles. I don't even really believe in good thing happening to me at all. In my life I have had very few things go right. Pretty much since my mom died when I was four, the only thing to go right for me was meeting Lara. But this, being here, living like this with Lara, I think it might be some kind of miracle.

My death is imminent. Lara, Sam, Jo, Bobby, Karen, and Ellen all think there is something that can be done. Hell they even have Ruby, Kate, and Adam researching solutions but I am not that optimistic. Good things don't happen to me so why would I even begin to believe I can be saved. I will be in hell in less than a month. End of story. But this is a gift. It may have taken me longer than it should have and I know my dad knew all of this a year ago but I love Lara. I am so in love with her that I will never tell her. I can't have her know how I feel when I will be dead and she will have to deal with that. She would either say she felt the same way out of guilt because I am dying soon or maybe she would actually feel the same way. Either way she would try to stay true to me after I died because that is just the way she is. I can't put this on her. I want her to be happy after I die. I even prepped Adam on how to deal with her and what to do so he can eventually be with her. Being here I get to see what it would have been like if I actually got to be with her. This is what our life could have been well also if we were rich but still this is how easy it would be for us. Maybe saying it's easy is simplifying things a bit but it is. We just fit together so seamlessly. I don't feel wrong or weird holding and touching her and I don't think she does either. Everyone just knows that we belong together. It's refreshing.

Last night was surprisingly fun. I didn't think I would enjoy going out with pseudo Sam and other members of the cast of our life but I had fun. Lara looked gorgeous last night. The blue dress she wore made her eyes look great, I wish I had seen her in that dress in her real body where her eyes are a bit darker. It hugged every curve of her body and it made her look so sexy. I can't get over how amazing she looks pregnant. She just glows.

What happened to Kristin last night was hysterical. I am glad that Lara took care of that bitch for Liv. I don't doubt that Liv can kick some ass but not many men let alone women can kick the kind of ass Lara can. There isn't a doubt in my mind that Jensen is head over heels in love with Liv and would die for her but that doesn't mean that a girl can't fuck with their relationship. I also had more fun than I should have putting on a show for that bitch. I was a bit drunk last night but I do remember all of it, the buzz of top shelf liqueur just made me a bit more loose. I wish that when I had picked Lara off her feet that I had actually been taking her back to their room to make love to her instead of picking her up to fake it.

Today I wake up before Lara. This is the way I wish I could wake up every morning. Lara has her back to me and I can see the top of her back and neck through her dark hair. I have my arm over her side and it's gently resting on the baby. The silk of her night gown just follows the sway of her hips and I can't help but move my hand up and down her silky side before getting out of bed.

My tshirt is on the floor near the bed and I grab it has I jump out of the bed. Lara has been working so hard on making awesome meals while we have been here so I will treat her today. I can't make much. I wish I had learned more, maybe life would have been better for Sammy and he wouldn't have wanted to move in with Bobby and Karen, but I know how to make a few things well. I can make a steak that will make you moan and baked potatoes that melt in your mouth. For breakfast my french toast will make you beg for more and today is my time to shine.

The living room is still quiet and I am surprised to see that Tom is now sleeping on the sofa. I walk up closer to him and notice there is something bright green in his ears, he has in ear plugs. Well that makes me proud. Would have made me prouder if I was actually with her last night. I try not to scare the guy but I gently push his shoulder so he can start getting up while I make breakfast. He jumps awake then once he notices it's me he breaks into a grin. He pulls the ear plugs out and starts to sit up. "So how did you end up out here?" I ask him.

Tom rolls his eyes and looks to the guest bedroom's door. "Kristin came in about an hour after we got back and kicked me out of the bed saying she couldn't sleep on the couch with all the noise you guys were making. Luckily I know to bring ear plugs when I stay with you guys." I laugh and head into the kitchen. "Well I am going to make breakfast why don't you get ready."

It only takes a few minutes to realize why Lara loves cooking in here so much. These two spared no expenses. They have sub zero and viking appliances and even I know that means this is top of the line shit. Lara's supplies for lunch and dinner for the next few days are in various stages of prep in the fridge and I pull out what I need to make Lara's mouth water.

While I am mixing the egg and the milk the front door opens and Jared comes stumbling in wearing douche bag aviator sun glasses with Chad and Allison trailing behind him. He looks hella hung over. "How you doing there champ?" I yell over to him. He moans out like he is gonna vomit. "Do you want some scrapple? I know how much you like pig intestines." I can't help but treat him like my Sammy right now.

Jared hunches over for a second and I think he is gonna puke on the floor the he sits up and gives me his patent bitch face... glad to know some things don't change. "Don't be an asshole Jensen." He says sitting down at the counter. Chad and Allison take a seat at the table and start to talk together. I am not a huge fan of this Chad. He seems a bit like an ass. I can see why our assistant Chad doesn't like him.

Within a few minutes Tom and Kristin both come into the kitchen too. They both take a seat at the table and Kristin won't even look me in the eyes. I have a few pieces of toast done and I plate it and hand them out with a few slices of bacon.

Finally the door opens to the bedroom and Lara comes out looking has adorable as ever. She is still wearing the silk night gown that just sticks out beneath the big sweatshirt that says Texas on it that must be Jensen's on I can just see the slight swell of her belly beneath the oversized sweatshirt. Her hair looks deceptively sex tussled. She searches the room for a moment then sees me at the stove and smiles brightly, her eyes still a bit hooded with sleep. She crosses the room like no one else is in the room and wraps her arms around my waist. I lean down and kiss the top of her head and when she pulls back I kiss her lips. She just smiles and buries her head in my chest. "What smells so good?" She asks into my chest.

"Oh that would be me darlin'." I joke with her. She laughs and I can feel the rumble on my chest. "I am making french toast you hungry?" I ask.

Lara pulls away from my body and rests her hand on her stomach. "Of course I am. Make me a plate." She says with a wink. While I get her a plate she opens the door to the fridge and pulls out a bottle of Tabasco. I give her a look and she shrugs her shoulders. "What I want something spicy on the toast." I laugh and take it from her hands. She goes to push me out of the way so she can finish breakfast but I lightly hit her hand. "Not today sweat heart I got it covered." She cocks her hip to the side and gives me a look but I just laugh.

Before she can respond I quickly pick her up and she makes a little shriek and everyone looks at us. I place her on the counter next to the stove and quickly corner her so she can't jump down. She chuckles and immediately traps me between her legs. I know she is putting on a show for Kristin but I don't care. I am going to enjoy every moment of this and remember it when I am in hell.

She pulls me in closer to her with her legs and I kiss her lips softly. With the position we are in if I am not careful Lara is going to know I am hard and I am going to have a hard time talking my way through that one. Lara slowly deepens the kiss and her legs tighten around me has she pulls me even closer and circles her hands around my neck. For a moment the whole world disappears. Then I smell a burning smell and Jared is yelling at me from the counter. "It's burning there Top Chef."

I reluctantly pull away from Lara and look down at the toast. I dump it in the trash and put two new slices on the pan. Lara hasn't moved from her spot on the counter and when I look back at her she shyly smiles at me. I touch the top of her thighs while I am working without even thinking about it. She lightly hits my leg with her foot and laughs. "You're feet are freezing Liv! Do you have slippers."

Lara just shrugs her shoulders. "I couldn't find them this morning." I look down at the toast and I have a few minutes. I run past everyone eating at the table and go into the bedroom and pull out a pair of thick socks and come back into the kitchen. Lara still hasn't moved and I lightly pick up her left foot. I slowly slip the sock on to her foot and once it's on I pick up her foot an kiss the ball of it. She laughs and I pick her right foot and gently put the other sock on and kiss it too.

"You two are making me sick. Can't you do that somewhere else?" Jared moans from the table. Tom starts to laugh. "You think this is bad you should have heard last night." Jared pales a bit and gives me a death glare that I know he doesn't mean.

Once the toast is down I put it on a plate and put some Tabasco on it and hand it to Lara. "Just the way you wanted it." She blushes and takes her plate over to the table next to Jared and starts to eat. She lets out a sinful moan when the first bit of food touches her lips that go straight to my dick but i manage to keep my cool by facing the stove to finish my breakfast and think about baseball played by naked grandmothers.

The rest of the morning goes quickly. I am happy to have all of these people out of our house even though I know that we are about to be getting more guests and it is going to be difficult. I am going to face some weird version of my parents but they aren't my parents. How am I suppose to deal with that? Jared is way to hung over to drive everyone to the airport and Lara claims she had a lot of work to do before the family comes. I was about to refuse that I was going to take them to the airport but luckily Chad says he will take them so we have time to get everything ready.

Almost immediately she gets to work. I can see how easily Lara could step right into the housewife role and even more surprisingly how much she seems to enjoy it. I try to help and just do what Lara wants but she works gracefully jumping between food and cleaning. I am excited to be able to eat the potato and macaroni salad she is making for lunch along with the sandwiches. I can't wait for the dinner she is preparing and more importantly the pie!

About an hour before her family or my parents or whoever these people are to us are to due come Jared comes stumbling in. Lara has our apartment clean and dinner in the oven with lunch ready to go. She even went over to Jared's side of the apartment to clean up the guest room for Dylan. She had a horrified expression on her face when she came back over and said she was hiring a maid for him. I couldn't help but laugh. The Sam we know is a neat freak and borderline OCD. "Hey guys I am going to go pick everyone up. Are you going to tell them when they first get here or wait till dinner?"

Lara looks to me and shrugs. "I guess when they get here." She rests her hand over the baby. "I don't think I could hide it that well anyways." I know she feels guilty stealing this moment from Liv and Jensen but it just the way the cards were dealt.

Before Jared can leave Chad comes up with a big box. "The maternity clothes you ordered came in Liv. I got them at the desk." Lara lets out an excited squeal and takes the box from him into the bedroom. I pick up a knife and laugh following her into the room. "You didn't even order this stuff Lara." I say quietly in case they are listening.

"I know but the clothes here don't fit. I am excited to have something to wear." I hand her the knife and she starts to pull clothes out. I go out to the living room to talk to Chad while she finishes up. About 25 minutes later she comes into the living room wearing "her" new clothes. They look like normal clothes but I can see they do fit her better and nothing is straining over her belly. She's in a pair of black pants with a silk purple tunic. You wouldn't know she was pregnant at first glance.

I can't stop from staring and she blushes at me and comes to sit by me on the couch and rests her head on my shoulders. "Should we hide the baby's picture?" She asks motioning to the photograph on the console near the front door that Jensen had framed or LIv the day we got here. I shake my head no. "We'll tell them once they get here so there is no need." She smiles and relaxes for a bit longer.

According to the clock they will be here any minute. Lara gets up and pulls out everything for lunch and sets it up buffet style on the counter. She has two big bowls of potato salad and macaroni salad, any kind of lunch meat I can imagine, with every cheese the store had, all kinds of veggies and other toppings and she even put out drinks ranging from beer to pop to water. This is a bit over the top but I know it made her happy.

The front door to the suite opens and we can hear everyone coming in. I tense. I am going to see my mom and dad. Even if they aren't my mom and dad here. Lara grabs my hand and squeezes. "It will be alright. I am here for you." She whispers. Chad is still here and isn't paying much attention to us since he is on his lap top.

Our front door opens and my mom comes through the door. I can't move for a moment. She is beautiful . She is obviously older then I remember and she looks a bit different from the Mary I saw with the djinn. She sees us both standing there and her face breaks in to the warmest smile. She runs over to Lara and grabs her in a tight hug then comes to me. "How are you both doing?" She asks smiling.

I can't respond. I try to but my mouth won't form words. I think I manage to stutter something and Lara just squeezes my hand. "We are wonderful. I am so glad you could make it." Before I can get my feet underneath me my father comes through the door. He looks different here, he looks better. He is the same height but not quite has built. There is no sign of binge drinking affecting his body. He has smile wrinkles around his eyes and he looks so happy. Wow so this is what my dad would have been like if mom never died.

"Baby girl!" He exclaims and pulls Lara into a tight hug. She laughs and hugs him fiercely back. I know she misses my father has well. "Daddy." She says softly when he puts her back on her feet and I can see tears threatening in the corner of her eyes.

"Don't think I forgot about you Jensen." He says to me with a gleam of something playful in his eyes. He grabs me in a tight hug and I sink into for a moment. My dad was never one for hugs after my mom died. "Would you like a drink sir?" I manage to finally choke out.

Mom laughs and hits my playfully. "How many times do I have to tell you to call us mom and dad or Caroline and Mike. I swear your parents raised you to well!" I feel choked up and before anyone can notice another tall man is coming into the apartment. He has on a cowboy hat and boots and is Jared's height. This must be Dylan.

"Get over here sis! I want a hug!" Dylan yells out. Lara goes to him and her hugs her tight. I can tell she is a bit nervous but it is obvious this man would never hurt his little sister. He looks a lot like Jared too. His hair is shorter and his skin is tanner but they have the same eyes and nose. When I see them all lined up I can see how they are all related. Liv's hair is lighter because she takes after Mike and her eyes are lighter because they are like Caroline. She is also taller because Caroline is a bit taller. Jared and Dylan have Mike's build and face but their moms mouth and a mix of their parents hair. They are a beautiful family.

Lara must notice I am freaking out slightly and she grabs my hand again. "Why don't you all put your bags in your rooms and come back out for lunch." Everyone agrees and we are alone for a moment. Lara turns to me and pulls me in a tight caring hug. "Are you doing alright?" She asks me quietly.

I feel a tear fall out of my eye and trickle down my cheek and land in Lara's hair. She looks up and smiles at me. "I know this is hard." I shake my head and try to get control over my emotions. Mike and Caroline comes back into the room and Mike laughs. "Don't think you are going to be hogging my baby girl all to yourself while I am here. You see her every day."

Lara laughs and turns around to escort Liv's father to the food. "Don't pick on him daddy." She says with a wink. I have never been happier of my hunter upbringing. We are both just slipping into an alias and playing our parts.

The next 10 minutes are hectic. Everyone is getting their food and getting situated. Chad tries to leave but Caroline says she wouldn't dream of him leaving before lunch was over. We are all seated and Lara looks at me nervously. We have to tell them. She coughs lightly and everyone stops and looks at her. Jared with a shit eating grin on his face. "So I know you all are probably wondering why we insisted you come up here."

They all shake their heads and smile. Lara grabs my hand and looks to her belly then to Liv's family. "Well Jensen and I had some big news that we wanted to tell you in person." She pauses again and looks at me to finish. I don't know if I can do it but she squeezes my hand and I know she wants me to tell them. "Liv is going to be having a baby." I spit out.

For a moment no one moves then everyone erupts in happy laughter and congratulations. Caroline pulls Lara out of her seat and hugs her the rests her hand on her the baby. "I knew it. I just knew it!" She says happily.

Mike comes over and hugs Lara tightly and I can see him to trying to cry. "Our first grandbaby and it's from our baby." He chokes out. Caroline hits him playfully and they both hug me too.

The next few hours are perfect. We all just hang out has a family. It should be weird since we are not Liv and Jensen but for some reason we slip right in to the role. Dinner was amazing and everyone was shocked that Lara made the meal because apparently Liv can't cook. After dinner Dylan and Jared went out and left the rest of us at home. Lara is on the couch with Liv's mom, my mom, and they are going through baby catalogues. For a moment it looks like a scene from when the djinn had me. Lara is cuddled up leaning on my mom and they are looking at stuff for the twins. Thinking of that time physically hurts me still.

A hand grabs my shoulder and I jump a bit and see Mike standing over me. "Why don't you come with me to the balcony. I have some celebration cigars for us." He offers. I give Lara one last look and she smiles at me then I head out with Mike.

Once on the porch he hands me a lit cigar and he breathes in a deep puff. "I don't know if I've seen a man so smitten with his wife." He says to me off handily. "Except maybe me with Caroline." He then winks a me.

"What can I say I love her." I reply. I can see her through the window laughing at something Caroline said. Her head is thrown back and her eyes are twinkling.

"It's terrifying and wonderful all at once." Mike says puffing on his cigar. I give him a confused look. "Loving someone like that. When Jared called me and told me you were having sex with my baby girl I thought I was going to need to kill you. Until that night we don't speak of, and I realized you truly loved her. Even now I can tell you love her more and more every day. You hardly let her out of arms reach and you touch her constantly. Almost like you are reminding yourself she is there. It's terrifying to love someone like that but it's the most wonderful feeling in the world. It only gets harder with children."

I take a seat next to him on the porch and I take a puff of the cigar has well. I never really liked them much but it seems like the thing to do right now. "Why is it harder with children?" I ask him.

Mike chuckles and looks inside at his wife and who he thinks is his daughter." I know it seems impossible but if your spouse passes away you can survive that. It wouldn't be fun and you would want to be dead but you can survive it. Every time your baby goes out that door without you and your aren't there to protect them you are scared until you see them again. Losing a child is something no one ever gets over. If anything ever happened to one of my kids I would die from the grief. Having a child is the best thing to ever happen to me and I love them all so much but every time they leave they take my heart with them. You will know what I am talking about the moment that baby comes out of Liv and you hold it for the first time. People think that the mom that has the stronger connection with the baby. But it's not true. They just have a different connection. They have 9 months of feeling that child in them growing but that doesn't mean we love them any less." I don't respond and we just sit there in silence for a bit. I feel like this is my dad talking to me. He did survive my mom's death. Not well by any means but he did survive. He told us numerous times he would never handle something happening to Sam and me. "Enjoy these years they go so fast." Mike comments has he rubs out his cigar. "I have something else to talk to you about."

Mike stands up pulls a photograph out of his pocket and hands it to me. It's hard to see in this light but after a moment I recognize Lara's parents. I look up at him confused. Frank and Betsy are flanking Lara only I guess it's Liv in front of huge log house. "Caroline's and mine best friends Joe and Theresa have decided to sell their ranch. It has always been Liv's dream house . They couldn't have kids of their own and are all of my kids god parents has I am sure you know. Liv has always been especially close with them. They wanted to let me know so I could tell Liv first so she would have the chance to buy it. They are willing to sell it to her at a huge bargain. I know you guys are working up here but when the show is done you'll need somewhere to go. Do you think you guys might want to buy it?"

Lara said that Liv wrote about this ranch in her diary and has plans for it already. I stare at the picture and can't help but smile. Lara's parents are here after all and they love her. "I want to buy it for her. Give it to her has a surprise once the baby is born. Can you help me with that?" I ask him holding the picture to me. He breaks into a huge grin and leans across and hugs me. "I am glad you are the man that married my baby girl." He then gets up and heads back inside. I know he will help Jensen get that property for Liv.

I stay outside for a bit and just look at the city. It feels strange being in this apartment. It's so nice, too nice for me, but the life I wish I could give Lara none the less. I look back inside and Lara is laughing with Liv's parents. For a moment I allow myself to pretend this is my life. Lara and I are married and my parents never died. We have just moved into our first house and my parents are staying with us. I like how this fake world feels. A part of me wants to stay here forever. But this isn't my life. I shake off the feeling of longing and go back inside.

The four of us head to bed despite the fact that Jared and Dylan are still out. Once in the safety of our bedroom I pull Lara to me in a strong hug. "That was torture and heaven all at once." I mutter into her hair. She just holds me tighter. "Why did you have me tell them about the baby?" I ask her.

Lara pushes back from me and smiles at me. Her light blue eyes sparkling. They aren't the eyes I am used to but they are still stunning. "I figured this was your only chance to tell your parents you were having a baby. I wanted you to have that." I pull her to me and kiss the top of her head. I wish I could kiss her lips.

"Mike talked to me on the porch about that property in Texas that Liv loves. The owners are selling it and I told him I wanted to buy it for a surprise for LIv when the baby is born." Lara pulls back and smiles at me. "That is lovely Dean." She moves to her drawers to pull out her pajamas.

I come up behind her and pull the photograph out of my pocket. "Your parents are here Lara. They are your god parents and love you very much. In fact they own that ranch." I hand her the photo and Lara stares at it for moment not responding. I stand their awkwardly, worried I upset her. Then Lara looks up at me and smiles with tears running down her face. "Thank you." She mouths unable to speak quite yet. I kiss he lips. and get ready for bed myself. It takes me a few moments to realize what I did and I look up at Lara.

"I am sorry I don't know why I did that." I respond nervously. Lara chuckles and touches her lips for a moment. "It's acting like this. It's hard to keep it straight." She responds getting into bed.

This night like the nights prior we crawl into bed and hold on to each other. It feels so wonderful, so perfect. I drift off quickly and so does Lara.

The next morning I wake up to Lara making breakfast in the kitchen for everyone. We all eat together and spend the day exploring the city. Liv's parents think it's strange how excited we get to see new things but we claim we don't get out much because of filming.

After lunch Caroline takes Lara shopping and Mike and I head out with Jared and Dylan to a pub. By the time we get back to the apartment Lara is making dinner and we are all pretty toasted. It was a great day. I just got to relax with these weird happy versions of my parents. I even enjoyed getting to know Liv and Jared's older brother Dylan. He is a fun guy, and a cow boy at heart. He told me that the would help us run that ranch while we are still in Canada.

I guess the alcohol has been a bit handsy because when we get into the apartment I make a bee line for Lara and my hands are all over her. I caress her sides, rub her back, touch the baby, and nuzzle my face into her neck. "If you want dinner not to burn you'll keep your hands to yourself." Lara says with a laugh.

A piece of bread hits the back of my head and I whip around and frown at the culprit. Jared and Dylan are standing there laughing at me. "Get your paws of my sister at least until after dinner." Dylan yells at me.

Lara stops what she is doing and turns around and sends them glares. She faces me and grabs my face and brings my lips to hers and kisses me deeply. I don't have time to register what is happening. All I know is that Lara's hands are on my neck and her tongue is in my mouth and I am complete. Just has suddenly has she started she stops and smiles at Liv's brothers. "He can put his hands where ever he wants." She smirks at them. They both make gagging sounds and head back to Jared's place. "Go wash up." She tells me quietly.

Dinner is beyond amazing and I'm not just saying that because pie was involved. Lara is just that great of a cook. I wish I had been by the road house more to get some of this grub. After dinner we all hang out in the living room and then Jared's phone gets an alert. He grabs it and looks it and throws it at me. "You've been outted!" He says.

I catch the phone and look at it. There is a series of paparazzi style photos. The first is of Lara and I at the bar for Jared's birthday. Lara's dress didn't leave any curve untouched and her bump is proudly displayed. The next photo is of me kissing Lara at the party. Then there are some shots today of Lara shopping for baby clothes with Caroline and me out with her family. The blog is alluding to the fact that we are together. I hand the phone over to Lara and she looks over it and throws it back to Jared. "We told that interviewer anyways and that's coming out tomorrow."

Dylan coughs and look between us. "You guys have been ridiculously covert about this whole thing. Why are you ok with it now?" Lara shrugs and leans into me. She fits so perfectly with me. "We are having a baby Dylan I think the gig is up." That gets a laugh at out of everyone.

The next morning is rushed. Lara makes breakfast for everyone but their flight leaves in the early afternoon. Jared and I decide to take them to the airport so we have our monthly bro lunch afterwards.

Lara cries has she says good bye to Liv's parents. She isn't sobbing because she is sad. I know this time with them was special for her just like it was for me. She never knew my mother and her and my father had a special relationship. Lara kisses me before we leave and I smile the whole way there. It's been weird yet fun acting like a real couple these last few days. I don't know if I will be able to go back to just being her friend.

At the airport I get out of the car and just hold my mom to me. This was a great gift I was given and I will remember it always. "We will miss you." I tell her trying not to cry. She smiles and kisses both my cheeks. "The season is almost over then you and Liv can come home for a bit and you will get sick of my face."

"That could never happen...mom." She smiles at me and kisses my cheek again. Then I go to say good bye to Mike. I never got to say good bye to my dad that way I wanted too. This makes it hard. I give him a tight hug. "I miss you...I mean we will miss you." I try to cover. He gives me a confused look and pats my back.

"You be good to my baby girl Jensen." He says with a wink. I watch them go into the airport and stand there for a bit without moving until Jared hits me. "You alright there?" I shake out of it and give him a big grin and we head to lunch.

I am once again surprised at how easy lunch is with Jared. I thought it would be weird because he's not Sam but is Sam but we have fun. We mesh easily. We have a long lunch and talk about all kinds of useless stuff. On the way back we get a text for Chad to have me go to his apartment when we get back first.

Once back at the high rise apartment building I head to Chad's and Jared heads back to his place. I knock on Chad's door and he opens it. He is in a much smaller apartment in the same complex and apparently we pay for him to be nearby. "Oh hey Jensen! I got those episodes you wanted." He hands me a dvd case.

"Thanks Chad." I say grabbing the dvds to me. I look around for a moment. "Hey have they send the pages out for the finale yet? You know when Dean's deal comes to an end."

Chad shakes his head. "Yea you read over it last week I think. Why?" I shrug. "I guess I forgot it with all the stuff with Liv. What happens?"

"Well the episode ends with Sam's demon powers coming out, Ruby might be dead, Lilith barely escapes, Lara might be dead, and Dean is in hell." My head shoots up. Lara might be dead? "What happens to Lara?" I ask probably to anxiously.

Chad gives me a weird look and scrunches his face together like he is thinking. "In the season finale Lara insists on going with Dean and Sam. Lilith isn't able to hurt Sam because of his powers but that doesn't help Dean or Lara. They both get ripped to shreds by hellhounds. Her part of the episode ends with Sam trying to stop the bleeding screaming that he can't handle her dying too."

I can't allow that happen. I have to make sure she isn't there at all costs. I can't have anything happen to her. "Thank for these." I say with a wave and head back to our place. The elevator ride seems to take forever has I think about what Chad said. Lara ends up ripped apart by hell hounds. I will never allow them to touch her. I need to hold her to me. I need to feel her and know she is arlight. I notice my grip on the dvd is tight and I loosen it a bit.

The apartment is quiet when I first come in. Maybe Lara is taking a nap. She had a busy weekend. I put the take my jacket off and cover the dvds with it and move to the kitchen to get a bottle of water when I hear a moan from the bedroom. "God Liv..." I hear from behind the door. I freeze for a moment then run to the bedroom and fling the door open.

It takes a moment for my brain to reconcile what is going on. It's like it short circuited or something. Lara is laying on the bed with her head thrown back and she is touching herself. I look to the tv and I see she is watching the at home sex tape that Liv and Jensen filmed. I don't want to scare her and I try to back out of the room quietly but Lara notices me and screams out. "Dean!" She yells.

I take a step back and put my hands up. "Sorry Lara. I heard a noise and just came in." Lara pulls her nightgown down and jumps out of bed. "It's not what it looks like." 

I look around the room and don't mean to laugh. "Ok maybe it's is what it looks like. It's just with all these hormones I was just so horny, like the doctor said at the birthing class and well... I was taking care of it." She makes eye contact with me and we both start to crack up.

We laugh for a few minutes. We laugh hard and for a reason I'm not entirely sure of. By the time our laughs are dying off we are both sitting on the bed. When we stop Lara looks at me and blushes. "What is it?" I ask her softly.

Lara keeps looking down at her feet. "Can I ask you for a favor?" She ask quietly asks back. I put my arm around her shoulder and squeeze. "Of course squirt. What do you need?"

She doesn't say anything for a moment and I just wait for her to speak. She'll ask when she is ready. She turns slowly and looks me in the eyes. "Will you sleep with me?"

a/n So wanna leave a review?! Sorry it took me so long to get this out. I lost track of time.


	52. Chapter 52

Gabriel's POV

We are not on the same plane has Lara and Dean now but they are safe in that world. There are not supernatural creatures there so we can all relax a bit. Doesn't mean that Castiel and I aren't going to watch over them though. People can be just has dangerous has the most vile creature. It don't think it was ever my father's intention for humans to end like this. I wish we didn't have to send her there. It will be difficult for her to come back here. We showed her what she has always wanted and then we are going to take it away. I hope she can forgive us. We just had no other options and I wasn't going to let those demons touch a hair on her head again.

Castiel and I have been glued into their life. It would be difficult but if an emergency arises I could get us there. We would be powerless and have to come back with them on Wednesday but we could get there. It was hysterical watching Lara scare that little harlot in the bathroom the other night. Dean just got the dvds from Chad when Balthazar comes in. "Make sure when you bring them back those dvds come with Dean." I tell him. Balthazar looks into the portal and gives me a confused look. "What's so important about those dvds." He huffs out. He has always been a free spirit and. I see why him and Daphne get along so well.

I roll my eyes at him. "It doesn't matter just make sure they make it." I demand. I rarely use my archangel voice with my brothers but I let a bit of it slip out so he knows how important it is for him to make sure they make it.

Before we get back to watching them Zachariah comes in. I really dislike him. Castiel gives him a glare and comes to stand next to me. "What do you want." Castiel spits at him. He has not forgiven him from keeping us from Lara for that year. We also both know what Zachariah is capable of. We know he would have no problem betraying Lara if it was good for him. I have tried to warn my father about the snake we have in our midst but he refuses to cast out another child. So I just keep an eye on him. Luckily Michael agrees with me. He doesn't trust him either and he has been watching over him and making sure he doesn't do anything that we need to stop. Michael and I have agreed to kill him need be. No one will be hurting our girl, not ever our brothers.

Zachariah pretends not to notice Castiel's venom. "I just wanted to make sure their bodies are safe." Castiel tenses and shakes his head. "They are fine." I know he has no care for their bodies. I just don't know what his end game is yet. If I could figure that out I could protect Lara better.

Their bodies are fine. Once Balthazar pushed their souls to the other dimension we were able to get their bodies out of there. They are safely in heaven waiting until Wednesday when they will reunite with their bodies. The souls of Liv and Jensen are safely in their heaven and they think they are on a beach together on vacation.

Before we can kick Zachariah out he peers behind me right at the moment that Lara asks Dean to sleep with her. I internally wince and wait for his outburst. "We have to go there and stop them. She has to be a virgin Gabriel!"

My grace flares out at him trying to order me. He takes a step back. He knows he has yelled at the wrong brother. "She will be a virgin Zachariah. And you know has well as I do that it is her choice. She doesn't have to wait until marriage. But in this case that body is no longer virginal. It will be fine. Now leave."

Zachariah huffs and leaves knowing he can't match me. Castiel and I give each other a look. We love Lara but like a daughter. If they go through with this I don't want to know about it. Balthazar laughs and pats out backs. "How about you two go out and I'll just make sure everything is alright with Lara ok?"

We both let out a sigh of relief. It would have been like watching my daughter have sex. Balthazar is close with Lara just more like a friend not like a father. He will make sure nothing happens to her and he will get us when it is safe.

"Thank you brother." I tell him has Castiel and I leave. I take Castiel to the mediation room in our father's house. He needs to get centered before he embarks on his journey. He has been training for this since he was created but that won't make it any easier. Going to hell and saving a soul has never been done and it will be dangerous. I just hope I have helped train him enough. I will go with him until we reach the entrance to hell. Once he is ready to enter I will cause a distraction while he slips in and hopefully is able to save Dean.

Lara's POV

"Will you sleep with me?" I ask him looking him in the eyes. I know I should be kicking myself for asking that but fuck it! This will probably by my only chance to be with him. Once we get back to our life we aren't married. He doesn't love me like that. Here I have a pretty good excuse. One I am going to use to make sure I get this one thing. For a moment he doesn't respond. He just sits there motionless like he trying to figure out what I just said. I can see the wheels turning in his head and I want to laugh but I keep a straight face.

Finally I see something on his face. He looks confused and torn. "I don't know if that is a good idea Lara. You said you wanted to wait until you are married and I want you to be able to keep that promise." I know what it probably is, he thinks that it would be weird to sleep with me, his little sister.

I chuckle and grab his hand. "Dean here in this world this body is married. This body is married to your body and they have had sex probably more times than we count in this bed even. " I just need this. I have to have this moment. To know what it is like to sleep with him. This one moment it can keep me going, keep me sane, for an eternity without him.

Once again I see Dean digesting what I am asking. "You know what I mean Lara. You wanted your first time to be with your husband." He responds to me. "And it will be Dean. When I am back in my body my first time will be with my husband. They always say the first time isn't that great so this way my first time will be great."

Dean squeezes myhand tightly and I know he is trying to think of what to say next. "Besides Dean you know that no one would take has good care of me has you would."

"Lara that isn't the point." He snaps back to me. He takes a breath and lets its out slowly. "Your first time should be special Lara. It should be with someone special." Oh god if he only knew the truth. No one is more special than him. There is no one in my existence that I want my first time to be besides him.

"Maybe in my mind it would be the first time but to this body it won't be. And this body has needs. This body has been horny all day and I feel like I am going to jump out of my skin. I can feel the desire pulsating in me but I can't get any relief. Liv's body needs her husband's body Dean. And you happen to be in that body. If it would help we can even call each other Liv and Jensen." I want this. I know to him this seems out of the blue but I have wanted this for so long. And being here has just been dangling it in front of me. I didn't mean to watch their tape but I just needed it and damn I want it now. "This body is pregnant Dean. You can't hurt it. Hell you can even have sex without a condom for once! I have been throwing up and been dizzy for days because of this pregnancy and I have never had sex. Let me know what it's like. Let me know experience all the great things that Liv experienced to get pregnant. I will still be a virgin and Dean I am ready." I beg him. It doesn't help that I am really horny too. I can thank Liv and Jensen's sex drive on that one.

It's silent in their bedroom. He hasn't moved and he isn't talking. I know he thinking it through. I sit in front of him nervously. What was I thinking? What if I messed up our entire relationship? What if he freaks out about me asking this and when we get back he refuses to talk to me again. What if he figures me out and leaves me for good and I don't see him again. His lips bring me out of my silent freak out. They are on mine.

He is actually kissing me. It's soft and tentative but he is. HIs lips are just caressing mine and moving against them. There is no words just this moment. His lips start to part a bit and his tongue slips out and begs for entrance to my mouth. I of course allow it. His hand comes up and supports my neck while he deepens the kiss and I can't help but moan out into his mouth. He pulls back quickly. "Did I do something wrong?" He asks nervously.

I shake my head no and wrap my hands around his neck and pulls his lips back to mine. Before they can meet Dean puts his hand on my shoulder and keeps us from meeting. "Lara you have to promise me you will stop this if you change your mind." I know I am blushing slightly and I can't help but look at his lips that are slightly swollen from kissing me.

"Dean I promise I will but don't forget this is Jensen doing his wife Olivia's body a favor." I add trying to cover up how much I want this. How long I have dreamt about it. Dean smirks and at me and kisses me again. "Yeah ... Liv... just let me know if Jensen needs to stop."

I smirk back at him and pull him the rest of the way into me. For a moment I can't believe this is happening. It feels like I will wake up and be asleep next to Dean in some sleazy motel after a hunt. But no this is real. He is kissing me and I am kissing him and there is no one making us do it. No demon forcing us to kiss, no vampire or ghoul threatening to kill us, just us kissing. Well no I guess that is not true. To get Dean to agree to this I had convince him that it was just Olivia and Jensen making love like they do every night in this bed. I can't think of that. I have to enjoy this and keep it in my mind in case I can't save and protect him.

Dean starts to slow. He is careful with me. He keeps it to kissing until I am a boneless mess. I feel my entire body relax and respond only to him. The rest of the world is shut out. Nothing matters but what is happening in this room. He pulls back quickly and jumps out of the bed. I give him an incredulous look and he just smiles at me. "One minute." He says quickly and runs around the room. He quickly lights the candles that are around the room. He then runs to the speaker in the room and fiddles around with what must be Jensen or Olivia's ipod until he finds what he must be looking for and puts it back on the dock. The music starts to blare out and I can't help but laugh. "Journey Dean really?" I laugh out.

Dean jumps back into the bed and gives me a quick peck. "What can I say La...Liv, Jensen is a romantic." He says with an eye wiggle. Then it's on. If this is the kind of passion that Liv and Jensen experience every night and I don't think I understand why they ever leave this room. Forget going to work, forget eating, forget hanging out with friends and family. I would just lay in bed with him all day everyday and never leave.

It's passionate and it's wild. His lips are all over mine and his tongue is delving deeper and his hands are all over my body. I imagine that Dean's real hands would be rougher with calluses from years of work. HIs hands start just over my clothes while he kisses me senseless. He starts to push me back on the bed and I am just putty in his hands. I will move where he wants.

On my back looking up at him through a candle lit haze I feel like this is what I have been waiting my entire life for. His hands slide over the silk of night down and down past my thigh. Then he slips them back up under my nightgown and lifts my gown off my body and he helps me sit up just a bit to take it completely off and lays be back down. "You sure you good with this?" He asks again, his eyes tracing over my naked body. I grab his hand and put them over my breasts. "Stop asking stupid questions." I respond bringing my hands to his button down. I quickly rip it apart and buttons go flying we both make eye contact and burst out laughing. Through our giggles I grab his undershirt and rip that off too. My hands come back down while skimming over the muscles of his chest. They reach his jeans and I unbutton them and start to pull them down his hips. He jumps up again and before I can protest he kicks off his jeans and boxers and covers my body again. He leans down and kisses my stomach softly. "I've never made love to a pregnant woman before." He says shyly. I push up and kiss his lips. "That is not true Jensen." I say with a wink.

Now that we are naked it slows down a bit. The passion isn't gone it's just changed. It's softer more exploratory. Our hands tracing over our bodies trying to learn them. Learn where we are soft and where we are hard. Learning where we curve and where our muscles move. Learning what makes the other moan and what makes the other one squirm. I like it. I wish we had done this years ago back home.

I start to moan out loudly has his hands caresses and massage my breasts. I can't help it. I have never had someone touch me like that. There was the occasional hand over the bra before but not like this. Skin on skin just like I know our bodies were meant to do. Dean leans down and kisses down my jaw to my neck and sucks there eliciting another moan. I feel his knee start to separate my legs. "Last chance are you sure about this."

I'm not quite sure where this bit of bravery came from but my hands trickle down his stomach to his member and I wrap my hands around him and start to pump his already hard self and smile at him. "I promise I am sure." I respond has he moans in my neck and his hands trail down my chest over my stomach and his fingers probe into me forcing out my own moan.

While our hands explore each other our lips are sealed only slightly leaving each other to take in gasps of air. Deans hands leave my body and he grabs my hands and links our fingers together and pulls them up above my head. He extends over my body and kisses me softly. "Just lay back and enjoy this Liv." He says with a wink. I smile nervously at him and he leans back down and devours my mouth. He releases my hands and slides down my body. He pulls my legs apart even further and nestles into between me. His gaze meets mine and for just a moment I trick myself into thinking he is going to tell me loves me. He opens his mouth to speak then shuts it and just smiles at me and the moment is gone. Not that I should have expected that anyways.

Dean aligns with me and slowly pushes into my body. I let out a moan and arch off the bed. This isn't the way my girlfriends told me it would be like but this is different. To this body it isn't my first time. There is no wince or tug of pain it's just pleasure. Crazy, amazing, mind blowing, pleasure. Once he is fully in Dean stops and kisses me gently. I kiss him back and bite lightly into his bottom lip. Dean smiles and kisses down my jaw and licks my ear lobe and I shiver at the feel of it. "Move with me." He whispers into my ear letting a warm breeze tickle over where he was just licking. Even if I wanted to fight it I couldn't. I start to move with him.

We have always worked in harmony. Hunting with someone only works if you work together. We can tell what the other is thinking just by a flick of a hand or a twitch of a facial muscles. We can take down an entire army of vampires together just with a few glances knowing how to work of the other. But this, what we are doing together here and now is perfect harmony. We aren't clashing we are working together, like one mind and one body. I arch into him and he moulds over me covering my body with his.

My body is humming with excitement. Every inch of my body feels like it is electric. I don't know how we aren't sizzling right now. "I...just...please..." I moan out not able to form a coherent sentence. Dean kisses me deeply and looks into my eyes. "I know, just go with it." He responds meeting my hips thrust for thrust.

His hands trail down to my hips and lift them up a bit to hit me at a different angle and I can't help but scream out in pleasure. "God Dean!" I shout out. I realize I said his name and I look at him nervously worried it is going to freak him out. We agreed to do this has Liv and Jensen not Lara and Dean. He didn't seem to notice and keeps me lifted up pounding into me. I let it go and just go with it.

We have been like this for minutes or days time doesn't matter. It's just us. "I can't... I am gonna..." I moan out wrapping my hands around his ass pulling him further into me. "Just let it come." He responds.

My body tenses up slightly then it explodes. All I can think about is this feeling. My body is on fire and cold at once. I feel better than I have ever felt. While I come down off my high Dean continues to slide in and out of me. I feel him tense and he cums into me. "Lara..." he moans out into my ear while he empties into me.

Neither of us move. We just lay there panting into each other. I have never felt this complete in my life. Our bodies are slick and our hearts seemed to have sunk beats while we feel them pound into each other through our chests. Dean slowly moves of me and pulls me onto his chest. "Don't want to crush the baby." He says with a laugh. I chuckle and lay on him, draping my arm over him.

My eyes start to drop and he kisses the top of my head. "Go to sleep, I got you." He tells has my eyes shut and I drift off. My dreams here have been great. They have been of happy moments of Jensen and Liv together. I have enjoyed sleeping so peacefully for the first time since I can remember.

_I am in my bed back at Uncle Bobby's and I feel a breath on my neck. I don't feel afraid and I feel a hand resting on my stomach reaching around me. I can tell by the feel of it that it is Dean. I smile and push back into him a bit. I must have woken him because I feel his lips on my neck. "Go back to sleep Lara." He whispers into my neck. _

_ I drift off and when I wake up again it is due to the heat. It's so hot and it smells horrible. I don't feel Dean's arm around me and I sit up slowly shaking myself awake. I look around and it's dark, not pitch black, but the room is lit with fire. That is why it is so hot. I can feel the flames licking at my skin. _

_ It hurts to breath. The air is thick with smoke and stinks. I can smell a mixture of smoke, sulfur, blood, and rotting flesh. I sit up and cover myself with one of Dean's shirt I find next to me. I stand up slowly unsure of my surrounding. I slowly turn around the room trying to get a sense of place. _

_ I freeze. "Dean?!" I scream out. His neck twitches a bit but his head doesn't raise. I run across the room and take his body in. He is nailed to wall. There are large railroad spikes hammered into his hands that are pinned about his head. I can see his fingers twitching has the nerves fire. HIs knees are also pinned to the wall with the same railroad spikes. Even if I could get him off the wall I would have no way of moving him. He may never walk again. I caress his cheeks with my hands and lift his face. "Dean I am here." I whisper gently lifting his face to look into his eyes. He makes eye contact with me for just a moment and passes back out. _

_ There is a sound behind me and I quickly spin around using my body has shield to protect him. "Dean?" I squeak out confused. I turn around and yes Dean is still pinned to the wall. Then I look forward at Dean standing in front of me. He chuckles has he takes me in. His eyes flash black. I take a step back and bump into Dean who hisses in pain behind me. "How... what?" I stutter out._

_ Black eyed Dean crosses the room with sure yet menacing steps. He stops in front of me and grabs my jaw tightly. His eyes flicker to Dean trapped on that wall. "That is my humanity. All that is left of what used to be Dean. He is almost dead and totally broken. This is me now. I am powerful." _

_ I feel tears coming down my cheeks. "You're hurting me." I say has clearly has possible with his hand squeezing my jaw. Dean head falls back in a terrifying cackle. "Oh princess if you think this hurts I can't wait to see what you think when I am done with you." _

_ "Dean stop you don't want to hurt me." I beg him, trying to push him back with my hands. It's useless he is to strong. It's like pushing a brick wall. He starts to laugh again. "Oh Lara you have no idea what I want. I not only want to hurt you but I am going to enjoy it. And when I am done fucking you over my dead body I am going to pass you around to every demon down here." _

_ Evil Dean pushes me back into human Dean's body and I feel the spikes on his knees pushing back into my thighs. I hiss and he rips of the shirt I took from the floor and unzips his pants. "Brace yourself Princess." He says slamming himself into me. "Dean no!" I scream._

"Lara wake up!" I hear has I come too. I look around the room and see Dean in the bed next to me. I jump out of the bed but my legs are weak from nerves and I slide to the floor. My body is shaking in terror and I can feel sweat drip down my back and mat my hair to my head. My chest is pounding and I can tell I am sobbing.

There is so much noise and I notice that Dean is now on the floor in front of me. I wince for a moment until I get a chance to see that his eyes are green and clear. "Dean?" I ask falling into his outstretched arms sobbing.

"What the fuck is going on in here?!" Sam screams throwing our bedroom door open. I look up and realize it's not Sam, its Jared. I am in that world. Jared stops seeing that we are both naked and turns around quickly. He keeps his back to us. "Are you guys alright? I heard screaming and came running."

Dean's hands done leave my body. He keeps them going over my in a calming manner while I sob into his naked chest. "She had a bad dream Jared that's all. Go back to bed."

"Are you sure? She sounded like she was getting murdered." He says into the black living room. I sob louder into his chest. I wasn't getting murdered in my dream yet. I was getting raped by a demonic Dean while his thrusts kill what is left of human Dean. Then I was going to get raped by every demon in hell and only hopefully then murdered.

"I am sure Jared. I got this go back to bed." Jared sighs and Dean focuses back on me. He waits till my body is no longer wracked with sobs and stands up pulling me with him. I try to stand but my legs still won't cooperate and I start to sink. Dean catches me and picks me up carrying me to the bathroom. "Shower or bath?" He asks.

"Bath." I mumble out burying my face into the protection of his chest. I feel him nod and I keep my face buried while I hear him start the bath all the while holding and soothing me. I assume the bath is almost full when he stands up and steps into the tub keeping me close to him. He sinks into the water and I feel the water surround me.

We don't talk for a long time. Twice Dean lets the water drain a bit and tops it off with warm water again. I just can't find my voice yet. I lay there in Dean arms while he rubs gentle circles into my back and runs the warm wash cloth over my arms, legs, and belly.

I realize we are still naked together. I wonder if Dean would have ever sat with me in a tub like this back home or if this is just him pretending we are Liv and Jensen again. I move slightly and Dean lets me shift in his arms. I settle between his legs and rest my head on his chest. I can't see his face and talk about this at the same time. "I am sorry for scaring you." I whisper out.

Dean's arms encircle me and pull me into him. He kisses the back of my head. "Never apologize for that Lara. You can't control them. Do you want to talk about it?" He asks quietly keeping his voice soft and even.

I shake my head no. "I really don't know want to give that dream life. It was bad though. We were in hell." Dean tenses behind me and doesn't push further. He understands my need to keep it quiet. If we don't speak it maybe it won't turn into reality.

The water starts to get cold again and Dean reaches out and pulls the plug to the tub. "Come on we are nothing but prunes now. Lets head back to bed." I shake my head in agreement and let Dean stand up first. Just yesterday I would have been shy to have Dean stand naked in front of me and me in front of him but after what happened this evening I can't seem to find the blush. He grabs a towel and quickly dries himself off wrapping it around his hips. He then leans down and helps me out of the tub. I stand on shaky legs in front of him while he take the soft downy towel over my skin. He is especially gentle has he dries off my belly. His hands just skimming over the slightly swell of the baby inside of me.

Dean lifts my arms and wraps the towel around my chest and guides me out to the bedroom. He digs through Jensen's drawers and pulls out a pair of gym shorts and puts them on and drops his towel on the floor. He digs in the drawers again and comes over with an oversized Texas A & M tshirt and slips it over my head and tugs it down over my stomach. "I wish there wasn't a chance I will be leaving you to deal with this alone." He says through closed eyes. I can see him trying to fight off the need to cry.

I stand on my toes and kiss his lips gently. Not has Liv but has Lara. For the first and probably only time just has Lara. "I know you wouldn't leave me if it wasn't the only solution." I drop back down and grab his hand and crawl into bed. He pulls the covers back over us and I roll over onto my side burying my face in his chest. I can't look out into the world right now. I need the safe cocoon that only Dean can provide for me. His right arm slides under my neck and his left covers me and pulls me into him. We don't speak again and we drift off into a fitful sleep. 

A/N

I am so so so so sorry for the delay. I had a major family emergency and have been spending all my free time in the hospital with family. Thanks for sticking with me and review if you can.


	53. Chapter 53

Dean's POV

I can't say that was the worse one ever. I mean her body didn't show any damage from the dream. But there was something about this one. Something about the way she cried out in her sleep. Something about the way she attached herself to me and refused to move. It took her a long time to be able to speak to me. It wasn't the worse ever physically but something about it was horrendous.

Lara is still curled into me. She has her face buried into my chest and her arms are pulling me to her and I am curled around her so she is safely hidden from the world. I feel her move a bit and I think she might wake up then she just digs in deeper.

Before the nightmare though, wow that amazing. I have never been with a woman like that before. I have had sex with a lot of women in my life. I guess you might classify me has a bit of a man whore. I like to think that I am pretty awesome at it too. But last night, wow blew whatever experiences I have ever had out of the water. Technically it was pretty vanilla sex, just missionary style but what everyone says is right, having sex with someone you love makes it better. I feel like I connected with her. Right before I entered her I wanted to tell her the truth. I wanted to tell her that I loved her and that I didn't want to have sex with her has Jensen and Liv but has Lara and Dean. At least I will have that memory. When I am dead in hell I will have this to remember and go to.

The clock on Liv's night stand says its around 11 am. I don't want to wake her up but I have a feeling that Jared is going to be waiting for us to come out to see what happened last night. I try to disentangle myself from Lara's arms and manage to get out and put a pillow in my place. She starts to whimper a bit but curls herself over the pillow and stays asleep. I pull the blanket up over her shoulder and kiss her forehead.

Just has expected Jared is sitting on the couch nervously waiting for us to wake up. Has I open the door he jumps up and visibly drops a bit when he sees its just me. "Is my sister alright?" He asks. I shrug my shoulders and move into the kitchen. "I'm really not sure. I didn't want to wake her up." Jared just shakes his head in understanding and follows me to the kitchen . He takes a seat at the counter and rests his head on his hands.

The coffee machine seems to be angry at me and is taking forever to brew. The machine finally pumps out its dark brewed awesomeness and I remember I stopped drinking coffee since Lara can't have any. I pour my cup out in the sink and give a mug to Jared and he drinks quietly.

"Dean... Dean... DEAN!" I hear being screamed out from the bedroom. Shit! Jared definitely heard that. I run into the room ignoring Jared and shut the door behind me. I get to the bed and Lara is seized up into herself and tears are streaming down her face. I gently pull her into me and rub her back. "Come on baby time to wake up. It's just a dream. Come on Lara come too." I say trying to keep my voice even and calm.

Lara's screams turn into moans that turn into whimpers and she is no longer screaming out. She slowly wakes up and looks around confused of her surroundings. "It's alright Lara. I am here. Just wake up." She sits up in the bed and looks around. "We are in another universe remember. We are Jensen and Olivia right now." She turns her big blue eyes on me and I feel a stab into my heart to see her so upset and confused. "I know this is hard." I tell her sadly pulling her into me and rubbing her back

We sit like that for a few minutes then she starts to move and her hands move to her stomach and she rubs the baby. "I'm Liv right now." She says to herself more than to me. "And you are Jensen.' She finishes. I pull her in closer and kiss the top of her head and shake my head yes.

She just sits there quietly, not moving just sitting still. It starts to scare me. I pull back slightly, normally I would let her work through her dreams on her own but this time I need to get her together and with me. "Lara?" I ask her quietly. She looks up at me and shakes her head. "Yeah I am here. I'm just, well I'm just... just trying to get it together. Give me another minute." She starts to shift and I know she is going to get up.

"Jared is out there." I warn her. She shakes her head and stands up on shaky legs. I walk to her dresser and pull out a pair of her panties and hand them to her. She blushes slightly and pulls them up her thighs. "I figured you wouldn't want to be talking to Jared without panties on." That gets a little chuckle out of her and I feel like mission accomplished on that one.

Back in the living room Jared is pacing and running his hands through his hair nervously. He jumps when he sees Lara leave the bedroom and runs over to her and grabs her in a hug. Lara's eyes nearly bug out of her head when he grabs her. "Are you alright Liv?" He asks almost in a panic. Lara pushes back has much has much as he will let her. "I am fine Jared."

Jared huffs and reluctantly lets her go. Lara walks into the kitchen and pulls out a mug and the tea bags. "Liv are you sure your alright?" He asks her again. Lara looks at him and shakes her head. "Liv are you sure? I mean this is like when you were a kid."

Lara turns around quickly. "Jared I said I am fine will you drop it!" She yells at him. Normally she wouldn't be freaking out like this so I am going to go with pregnancy hormones.

"No LIv I won't drop it! I heard you screaming last night like you were getting killed and then you called out for Dean not only last night but like 5 minutes ago. What the hell is going on? Do I need to call mom and dad back up?" He throws right back at her.

Lara slams her mug down on the floor in the kitchen and it splatters everywhere. I run over to her and make sure to move her through the glass. I don't want her to cut herself. She acts exasperated at me trying to move her but lets me do it. I pick her up in my arms and quickly get her out of the kitchen. Once I get her over the glass she gives Jared a death glare. "What do you want to hear Jared?!"

"Um I don't know the truth!" Jared yells back at her.

"So you want to hear about how last night I dreamt I was Lara? How at first it was a great dream? That I knew I was laying in Lara's bed at her Uncle Bobby's house and Dean was holding her while she slept? Is that what you want to hear? Or maybe you wanted to hear what happened when the dream turned vicious? Yeah that is what you want to hear! I feel asleep in the dream and I woke up in hell. It was hot so freaking hot that I woke up drenched in sweat. The stench was incredible. I thought I was alone. I turned around and I found Dean pinned to the wall. Only when I got closer he wasn't pinned oh no he was fucking nailed to the wall with railroad spikes. He was barely fucking alive. Then who would show up? Oh I don't know demon fucking Dean! He continues to rape me on the dead body of human Dean and is about to pass me around his demon friends! So is that what you wanted to fucking hear?!" Lara yells at Jared. Tears are pouring down her cheeks and she goes running into the bathroom.

"You get what you wanted Jared?" I snap at him. He gives me his guilty eyes and looks down at his shoes. I don't like anyone making Lara upset. It makes me angry and sick to see her upset. "And what the hell were you talking about her having this problem has a kid."

"Figures she wouldn't tell you about it. I doubt she remembers it. The doctors said she probably would forget, a way of her brain protecting herself." What the fuck is he talking about? Jared motions for me to move with him to the sofa. We take a seat and Jared looks at me and frowns. "So?..." I ask trying to figure out what is going on.

"So... when LIv was little she had horrible nightmares, well I guess night terrors. They started when she was just a toddler. I am 4 years older than her so I can kind of remember it starting. The older she got the worse it got and the more I remember. At first I remember our parents thinking it was just nightmares. She pretty much slept in their room every night from the time she was 2 till she was 7 because of it." Jared stops for a moment and puts his head back in his hands and takes in a deep breath and lets it out.

"We all hoped it would get better. Dylan and I were terrified for her. You have never heard such pain in a child's voice as when she would have episode. Has she got older she could explain to mom and dad what she was seeing. It was some crazy messed up shit. Honestly, I don't think I ever thought of it before, but what she saw was a lot like the show. It was all demonic and creatures. Of course mom and dad at first thought we let her watch tv that she wasn't allowed to but it just didn't get better. It just kept getting worse. Finally they took her to a psychologist. He worked with her until she stopped having them. I haven't heard her scream out like that since she was 7." Jared sighs and looks at a spot of the carpet not willing to make eye contact with me. I pat his back and get up off the couch and go in and check on Lara.

When I enter the bedroom I see Lara sitting on the bed writing furiously in Liv's journal. I know she has been keeping a record of our time here for Liv so that she is not confused when she comes back. Lara flashes me her eyes when I come in but goes back to writing. I get into the bed and wait until she is done. Once she is done she puts the journal back and leans into me. "Is he mad at me?"

I turn my head and kiss the top of her head. "He is worried about you, not mad." I respond. We sit there quietly for a bit. "Did you tell you what he meant by when I was girl?"

"Jared said that when Liv was a toddler from about 2 to 7 she had horrible night terrors much like you had. Her parents got her help and she stopped having them. If I had to guess it sounds like she was dreaming the same thing you were. I don't think that Jared or anyone else sees the connection between those dreams and Lara from our show but it's there." Lara doesn't respond and I let her just relax until I feel a wet spot on my arm. I look down and she is crying quietly. I move and wipe my thumb pads under her eyes and push away the tears. "What's wrong?"

Lara continues to cry and rests her head in my chest. "I feel bad for Liv. That she had to have those dreams too. I have lived with them my whole life and I guess now I know what they really are. That must have been terrifying for her and her family." I let her cry it out. I can't imagine it being any worse for Liv than Lara. Not only did Lara live it too but her parents wouldn't let her get help for it. And she still has those dreams. "Sorry I keep crying here. These stupid pregnancy hormones have me all over the place."

I chuckle lightly. "Don't worry about it. Why don't you get ready and I'll go see what we got left in the fridge for breakfast." I suggest. Lara shakes her head yes and gets out of the bed and heads to the bathroom. I head out into the kitchen and see Jared still sitting on the couch. He gives me a weak smile. "Is she mad at me?" He asks sadly.

I can't help but laugh and he gives me his patent bitch face. "It's just she asked me the same thing when I went in there. No she isn't mad. She is just really frustrated today." I explain. Jared relaxes a bit and I dig through the fridge and find eggs and toast.

Cooking is really more of Lara's domain but I don't mind cooking. It reminds me of when I used to take care of Sammy. I must of gotten really into what I was doing because I totally missed Chad coming in. When I notice him he is standing next to me and he doesn't seem happy. "Hey man want some breakfast?" I ask him pointing to the scrambled eggs I am making with the spatula.

Before he can respond Lara comes out of the bedroom. She looks beautiful. Her hair is cascading down her shoulder and framing her amazing face. She has on a purple shirt dress that flows over the bump but makes her breasts look incredible, and I now know for sure what they look like under that dress. She smiles at me shyly and pushes her hair behind her ear. She gives Jared a hug and they whisper something to each other. She crosses the room and gives me a kiss and looks into the frying pan. "So what's up Chad?" She asks grabbing a piece of toast from the counter.

Chad lifts up his phone and waves it at us. "The producers called me and said they need to talk to you guys asap. I think it's about the article and the news that you guys are together and pregnant." Lara rolls her eyes and leans into me. "Can't we wait till tomorrow?" She asks.

He shakes his head no. "I don't think so. They sound pretty pissed. I think we should head over there as soon as you are dressed." I plate out breakfast and we eat quickly and head over. Lara is a bit quiet in the car but she holds me hand and leans into me the whole way there while Chad and Jared talk in the front seat.

The room is filled with people that I assume Liv and Jensen know well. Chad and Jared tell me they will wait outside and Lara and I take the only two seats available in front of three men and woman. Once we sit down one the men start. "So I assume you know why we called you guys in today."

Lara flashes them her best big wide innocent eye look. "No, I don't think we do." She responds so innocently. The man huffs out and nods to the wedding rings we forgot to take off. "And what does that have to do with you?" Lara responds. I chuckle at her response. The four people on the other side of the table look frustrated.

"You two should have told us that you were married, hell you should have told us you were dating!" One of the other men respond. That gets me a bit pissed. "Why is it any of your business?" I spit back at them.

The woman puts her hand out to keep the men quiet. "We could have made it work better for the network. Instead we found out with the rest of the world."

"It is none of your business or the networks what we do once we leave the set. We didn't want a media circus surrounding us." Lara tells them grabbing my hand and squeezing. The same man who started the conversation starts to laugh. "Then you should have picked a different profession sweetheart."

"Don't talk to her like that!" I snap back. The man noticeably shrinks back into his seat. "Just because we decided to be actors doesn't mean that you the world is entitled to know everything about our lives."

The one man who has been quiet the whole time looks at us. "You should have told us about the pregnancy at least. It was unprofessional and dangerous to keep that from us . She or the baby could have been hurt."

We don't respond to that. Quite frankly that is probably true. With the crap we have lived I can only imagine the stunts that Liv has been doing since she found out she was pregnant. "We were going to tell you." Lara responds quietly.

"You two could have been more responsible about this! I mean you get knocked up like a couple of teenagers regardless of your jobs! We could have made this work next season but you had to just do what you wanted! This is going to ruin the filming for the rest of the season because you guys couldn't figure out how to use birth control." One of the men yells at us.

I look over at Lara and I can see tears forming in her eyes. Oh no! I don't think so. No one makes Lara cry and gets away with it. I put my arm around Lara's shoulder protectively. "I want you to go and sit with Chad and Jared for a moment." I whisper into her ear. She shakes her head and wipes a tear off her face. She gets up and heads to the sitting room. Once she shuts the door I shake off caring Dean who is worried about Lara and channel my inner killer.

I jump up and I hit the table with my fists. "So this is how this is going to go. You ever say anything like that again and I swear to god I will fucking kill you. If you ever make her cry again I will rip out of your eyes and give them to her has a gift and make her a necklace out of the teeth I rip from your god damned skulls. Do you understand me?" They all give me shocked blank expressions. "We don't owe you any kind of explanation of our actions. We are married, we are adults, and we are in love. If we want to have 20 kids it is none of your business. So just this once I am going to pretend this conversation never happened. If we have another conversation like this again we will both walk and I have a feeling Jared with walk with us. And then I will hunt you down and make you pay for making her upset. Do you get what I am saying?" I don't need to yell. I know that right now the tone of my voice is as cold as ice and my eyes and expressions are showing them that I am serious as death.

They all shake their heads slowly and I give them a bone chilling smile and head out of the room. Lara is sitting between Chad and Jared and crying. I run across the room and I pull her into my arms. "Don't cry sweetheart." I mutter into her hair has I pull her closer. I hear Jared go into the room I just left. I can't make out what he is saying but I sure as hell can make out that he is screaming at them. I pull Lara back and kiss her softly. "It's fine now. Let's go do something fun." I say with a wink. That gets a small smile out of her.

Jared leaves the room and his face is red with anger. "Those fuckers think they can make my baby sister cry and I am not going to pissed! Assholes!" He yells has he stomps out of the office. We all follow him out and head back to our home.

Once we get back I take Lara back out. I know my Lara well and I know what she will need to feel good again. I drive until I find what I needed and pull over. "A shooting range? Really!?" Lara asks me nearly jumping out of her seat with joy. I laugh and turn off the engine. "Hey do I know my girl or do I know my girl?" I ask with a laugh. Then I realize I just called her my girl. She is doesn't seem to notice though.

We spend the rest of the day shooting stuff and having fun. We don't talk about the fact that tomorrow we are going back home and that last night we made love. We are just us. The us I have known for years.

Our last full day spent this world ends nicely. After our shooting session we go to one of those fancy restaurants that we can never afford to eat at. Lara pouts at the wine menu when the waiter accidently leaves it with us and despite her best efforts I order a coke just like her since she can't have any alcohol. There are few people that seem to recognize us and one fan even asks us for our autographs. It's surreal to say the least.

After dinner we head back home and just relax. It's not often that we aren't running away or to some kind of danger and this week has been a great distraction. I don't remember the last time I was so relaxed. It must have been from before my mom died.

We relax on the couch and both write letters to our other self. Lara finishes writing in Liv's journal and I write Jensen a long letter of everything I have done while I was here. I tell him about the house I decided to buy for Liv and how sorry I am for blowing their cover. They may never believe us and assume they both had a mental break but maybe they will.

"Ready for bed?" Lara asks with a smile has she folds the journal into her lap. I look at the clock and see it is getting late. "Yeah I guess so." I respond getting up off the couch and extending my hand to help Lara up. I turn off the lights and make sure the doors are locked and the traps are down. I don't think are demons here but I can't be too careful. I managed to put more sigils down around the apartment to keep them all safe once we leave.

Lara is just leaving the bathroom when I enter the room and she is wearing another sexy silky night down. She seems nervous and shy about something and I quickly get ready for bed myself. When I come out of the bathroom she is sitting on her side of the bed ringing her hands together. "What's wrong?" I ask her.

Her eyes flash up at me and then back down. "So you know how last night we umm.. well you know... we had sex?" She asks me nervously. I chuckle a bit and shake my head yes. "Well umm... how would you like to umm.. god this shouldn't be so hard we did it yesterday." She mumbles to herself.

I sit down next to her on the bed and put my arm around her shoulders. "Are you asking me to make love to you again?" I whisper into her ear. She faces me and blushes. "Yes." She responds shyly.

After last night I see no need to debate the situation. I don't care that this is wrong. This is the only great thing to ever happen to me and I will need this in hell. I can do this letting her think it's just Jensen and Liv. She won't feel guilty about it when I am dead if it is like this. I lean in and I kiss her softly at first, testing to make sure she is alright with this. She responds to me and kisses me back.

This is going to be hard to give up for the last few weeks of my life. I wish we could go back home and kiss and make love all day every day until my due date, but I know that once we leave here this has to never have happened.

My hands have a mind of their own has the travel over her body trying to memorize every curve. Last night Lara was still a bit shy but tonight she seemed to have lost that with just a few kisses. She pushes on me and I lay back on the bed letting her do whatever she wants . For awhile she just kisses my lips then she starts to explore Jensen's body with her hands and mouth. Last night was about me exploring her and making sure she had a mind blowing orgasm, not that mine wasn't equally has mind blowing, I was just more focused on her. It seems tonight she wants a chance.

Lara's mouth and hands explore everywhere she can touch and she quickly has all my clothes off. Once she is done getting me naked I grab the hem of her nightgown. "You are over dressed." I say with a smirk has I lift her night gown off. Then I notice she wasn't wearing panties. She was hoping I would agree. She blushes like crazy once she realized I knew. Before she and stammer off a response I push myself up and kiss her. Soon she forgets what she wanted to say.

To my surprise Lara stays on top and straddles me. She looks me in the eyes and I can tell she wants me to tell her what she is doing is right has she lines herself up with my already hard cock. I smile at her and pull her down over me slowly. She tenses at first but quickly relaxes until she is fully seated on me. "Why do I want to wait to do this again?" She asks me once she is settled. I laugh and lean up and kiss her again, but don't answer. If I do I will beg her to forget her vows and sleep with me back home.

I grip her hips and guide her to move up and down until she gets the hang of what to do and soon she is in full control again. There is nothing else in the world but Lara on me, riding me, all around me. I know I am close but I want her to cum first. "You close baby?" I moan out careful not to say her real name. She doesn't respond but moans loudly has she slams down over me again. In a few more moves we are both spent and she is panting on my chest.

The blankets are down around my feet and I manage to pull them up without moving her. I keep her settled into my chest. I can feel her sweat slicked skin move over mine has her heart beats into my chest. Once I get the blankets over her I relax back on the pillow and trace my fingers over her back and through her hair.

"Let's stay here Dean." Lara whispers into my chest. I kiss the top of her head and think about it for just a second. It would be nice to stay here and just live this life, but we can't. "This isn't our world Lara. This is Jensen's and Liv's." It breaks my heart to say that but it's true.

She doesn't say anything else but she tightens her hold on me. I feel something warm and wet on my chest. I lift my hand to her chin and lift her face to see that she is crying. Shit maybe she regrets what we just did. "I am sorry Lara we shouldn't have..." I tell her starting to disentangle our limbs so I can move to the couch. Lara grabs on to my tighter and kisses me fiercely.

"It's not that Dean. I just can't lose you in three weeks." She cries into my mouth. I shift us both and I am now encircling my body around her body has she sobs. I pepper the crown of her head and forehead with kisses. I have nothing to say. She will lose me in three weeks. There is no way out.

I hold her until she falls asleep and at one point I drift off has well. We both sleep soundly all night without any nightmares. The next day we are awoken with knocking on our bedroom door. "I am not dumb enough to open this door but we gotta get going to work." Jared yells through the door. I keep one arm around Lara and use the other to grab the clock. It's noon and we do need to start get ready. We have to be there at 2 and we have to be through that window at 4 to go back home.

We are both quiet getting ready. We are constantly reaching out and finding a reason to kiss or touch the other. For a moment I can pretend that we are married and just getting ready for our day but I know better. I was Lara's first regardless of what she says and now her mind is playing tricks with her. Making her think she wants me. Physically she does but in a few months at most a year she will be able to move on.

The drive over to the set is not much lively. Lara sits in her seat with her hands constantly rubbing over the baby. I can't imagine how weird it going to be for her to go back to not being pregnant. She notices me watching her and wipes a tear from her eyes. She reaches across and grabs my hand and squeezes it.

When we came the first time we did not have to go through the prep for the shoot. I didn't realize how much work was involved in making these actors became Lara and Dean. At right about 4 we are both dressed back in the night clothes we arrived here in and standing in front of the set of her Uncle Bobby's house. The producers and the directors won't make eye contact with us and I know my point was made last night.

Before the scene can start Jared grabs Lara. "Are you alright to do this scene?" He asks her. Lara grabs into a tight hug. "I will be fine." She responds. He gives her a funny look at her hug and tugs her hair and leaves the scene.

"Ok places everyone. We need to film the window scene once more than we can move on. Liv are you able to do this?" He asks. Lara looks at me and shakes her head. She has to be able to since it's the only way home. "Ok then, 1, 2, 3, shoot!" He yells.

I remember what happened for us to get here and I know what we need to do to get back. I look at the clock and see it's 4 pm. "We gotta go back." I tell her quietly. She shakes her head in understanding and I can see her fighting tears. I reach out and grab her hand and throw us both through the window, making sure to use my body to absorb the brunt of the fall. There will not be a nice comfy air mattress when we get to the other side.

The glass crashes around us and I can feel the pieces hit out skin. The air turns from stagnate inside air to the fresh smell of South Dakota air. For a moment I think we failed or went at the wrong time. I feel an air mattress under me and I open my eyes and see that we are in fact outside. Lara pushes herself off me and looks around. "Uncle Bobby!" She shouts out jumping off me and giving him a great big hug.

"Where did the mattress come from?" I ask looking around kind of confused. Bobby gives a Lara a pointed look and focuses on me. "After I killed the asshole who did this I found out when you would be coming back so Karen and I prepared."

The next few minutes are a bit chaotic. Bobby, Karen, Sam, and Jo are all over us making sure we are alright. We try to explain to them where we were but it's difficult to talk about. It's weird being back in our bodies. They are just slightly different. They keep pestering us with questions but I can tell that Lara is about to break. This is too much for her to adjust too. Her hands flutter to her now flat stomach has she goes to stroke it. I can see reality soak in has she realizes she isn't pregnant any longer. "I'm sorry I need some time alone." Lara tells them running inside and up the stairs to her room.

Everyone looks at me like I did something wrong. "In that world Olivia was pregnant. Lara lived the last week in a pregnant body. It's just a lot to adjust too." I tell them. All their faces soften in concern and I know they are worried about her. I finish explaining to them where we were and who they were there and that our lives were a show. They all seemed pretty overwhelmed by that fact.

It's been about an hour and Lara still hasn't come out of her room. I look around at everyone and they all realize I want to go to her. Bobby gives me a look and flicks his wrist up the stairs. "Go check on her idjit." He mumbles.

I jump off my chair and take the stairs two at a time and go to her bedroom door that is shut. I knock lightly and wait for a response. "Lara?" I ask knocking again. After a moment I hear her response. "Come in." She says weakly from the other side of the door.

It smells like the ocean in her room which is strange. I look around for a candle or something but can't find one. I don't say anything has I crawl into the bed next to her and pull her into me. I know what's wrong. She misses the baby. Lara doesn't speak either and the exhaustion of dimension travel hits us and we both fall asleep.

Castiel's POV

I know that I should be focusing on preparing for my invasion of hell but I can feel her pain. Lara hurts so badly and I need to be with her. I look at Gabriel and Michael who have been working with me on focusing my energy. They both know what I need and they nod at me in acknowledgement.

When I get to earth Lara is laying on her bed sobbing. I sit down next to her and hold her. "Why did you guys have to send to me there Uncle Cas?" She sobs out. "I had everything there. I had Dean I was going to have a baby. And now I am just Lara again, Dean's best friend and no baby. I miss the baby."

"I know sweetheart. I am sorry we had to send you there but you had to be safe. I promise you that someday you will be happy like Liv is." I promise her. I have seen her future. Has long has I don't fail she will have that. I will die trying if that is what I must do to give her that life.

I continue to hold her while she cries until I feel Dean coming up the stairs. "I need to cloak myself now dear. Dean is coming up. I will be close if you need me." She doesn't talk but shakes her head in understanding. I hide myself has I watch Dean enter the room and comfort my girl. Yes I will fight to the death to make sure they have their happy ever after.

a/n Hey all! I managed to post kinda fast this time. I hope you liked it, leave a review of what you thought.


	54. Chapter 54

Dean's POV

Lara has been acting strange ever since we got back. She is slightly withdrawn and extremely anxious. She can't sit still and her hands are constantly tapping. Her dreams that usually star her have now changed to what she thinks will happen to me in hell. During the day she hardly eats, hardly talks, and I see her stroking her stomach when she thinks I am not looking. At night she pleads with me with her eyes to let her share a bed with me and she holds to me like a demon will burst through the door and take me early. I don't even bother getting us a room with two bed anymore, it just goes unused.

I wish I could do something to alleviate her pain and stress. I know this a lot on her and there is nothing I can do. I have no way to make her feel better or to make her believe I am going to survive this. Because honestly I know I won't survive this. We have been travelling nonstop trying to find a way out of this deal. Sam and Jo going one way, Bobby and Karen going one way, and Lara and I going another. Ruby has even been checking in with us and Adam and Kate have been researching what they can.

"Dean... Dean... oh god Dean!" Lara start to scream out in her sleep. I loosen my grip on her and rotate her on to her back so I can gently try to wake her up. I shake her shoulder lightly but she just keeps thrashing. "God Dean.. no.. please NO!" I push on her shoulder harder and shake her more aggressively trying to get her out of her nightmare. Her eyes finally start to flutter open.

The first few moments are always the worse. When her eyes open there is still a moment where she thinks she's in the dream. Her eyes can't seem to see what is actually in front of her but what her mind was forcing her to see. I can actually see the shift in her eyes when she starts to see the real world. They slowly focus on me and fear is often times replaced with confusion and unfortunately sometimes more terror. After a few more moments her face usually relaxes just a bit because she knows I will take care of her. Then just the hint of relaxation is replaced with tears.

Her eyes have gone through all the stages and now she is ready for the tears. I roll her over into my chest and cradle her into me. I can feel her tears dripping down my naked chest. I rub my hands up and down her back trying to calm her down. "It's alright Lara. You are awake now. I got you. Everything is alright squirt." She continues to cry though and after awhile I am pretty sure she is asleep again. I detangled myself from her and jump into the shower. We only have a few days left. We have what is the rest of today and tomorrow but by midnight tomorrow I am done.

We have a slight plan. Lara thinks that we are meeting with Sam and Jo in a town a few hours away tomorrow morning to try and destroy Lilth, the demon that Ruby told us has my contract. But in reality after talking to Chad in that other world I realized I can't have Lara with me. She could die. Sam and I talked about it and Lara and Jo aren't going. Jo agreed with Sam's pleas but I know better than to tell Lara what to do. I will be drugging her tonight and sneaking out before she wakes up. She will never forgive me for it but she will be alive and I will be dead so there isn't much she can do about it. The town we need is actually about 5 hours 3 hours minimum if you drive like a crazy person away and if I planned the dosage right she should be out till tomorrow night.

By the time I am leaving the bathroom Lara is stretching like a cat in our bed. "How you doing Lara?" I ask making sure she is fully out of the dream world. She sits up her dark hair a bit wild on top her head. She gives me a weak smile. "I am fine Dean. How are you?" She asks me getting out of bed to go through her bag.

What do I say? Yeah I'm doing great, I only have a few hours left. Or maybe no I am doing horribly because I know tomorrow morning will be the last time I ever see you. I just shrug my shoulders and pick my duffel off the floor and start to pack it. "Hungry." I respond. She laughs and after her shower we are quickly on the road.

We stop at dinner in town still and we eat quickly. At the end of the meal Sam calls Lara and they start to fight on the phone and Lara actually gets up and takes the phone outside to yell at Sam. I can see her walking from side to side of the parking lot and moving her hands excitingly has if Sam was with her. I don't want to know what he has done to piss her off this much. I quickly pay for our meal. Lara sees me leaving the dinner and must finish yelling at Sam because she slams her phone shut and puts it in her pocket. "What's wrong squirt?" I ask her motioning to the phone.

Lara laughs angrily and jumps in the car. "Your brother needs to mind his own business that's all." She says with a huff sitting in the car with a scowl on her gorgeous face. I can only imagine what that fight was about.

The drive is surprisingly peaceful. I should be nervous and terrified but I am going to enjoy these last few moment with Lara. I can't let them be ruined by nerves. A few miles away from the diner Lara's hand slinks across the front seat and latches onto mine. She hasn't let go of it for over 200 miles now. We're only another 50 miles from the motel we are meeting Sam at in the morning but I need gas. I pull over at small gas station. "Hey Lara can you get me a coffee?" I ask her getting out of the car to pump gas.

"Sure want anything else?" I look up at her getting out of the car stretching her back. The hem of her tshirt just dusting over the top of her low riding jeans. I can see her rosary tattoo and the start of her abs. God her body is amazing. "Dean?" She asks again. I shake myself out of it and look at her. "Do you need anything else?"

I shake my head no while she goes in. I grab my phone out of my picket and call Sam. He picks up after a few rings. "How far you out Sammy?" I ask him quickly.

"I'll be there by tomorrow in the late morning don't worry. You sure you don't want to just talk to Lara and not drug her?" He asks me with a bit more snark then necessary.

"You know if I were to ask her not to come would come anyways." I look up and I see Lara through the windows at the coffee machine. "So what did you do to piss her off so bad this morning."

"I was just trying to get her to see reason. Don't worry about it." Sam responds. I chuckle at him and he keeps going. "You know Dean you should really tell her."

"Tell her what Sammy?" I ask pulling the pump out and finishing the transaction. There is an exasperated sigh on the other side of the phone. "That you are in love with her."

"No Sammy."

"Dammit Dean you have just a few hours left. You need to tell her. She needs to know just in case!" He yells at me. I shake my head no even though he can't see me. "Sam I can't do it to her. I won't tell her than have her mourn me just because I loved her. I want her to move on and have a great life. If I tell her out of guilt she will stay faithful to me."

I know what bitch face Sam would be giving me right now if I could see it and I can't help but smile at that. "You are an idiot Dean! Don't you think that just maybe she loves you too? That she feels the same way about you that you feel about her? That just maybe knowing you love her back it will make this all easier on her. Please just think about it. She deserves to know and Dean you deserve to have her love you back. If you don't tell her I will."

I don't respond but I know Sam knows I heard him. "Bye Sammy." I end the phone call when she comes out of the gas station. She has two coffees and a bag of snacks. "They had those cheap cherry pies you like so much." She tells me jumping back in the car.

My coffee is in my hands once I get the car turned on and a pie a few moments later. "Thanks!" I respond with food in my mouth. Lara laughs and we drive the last 50 miles talking about the good ole days and laughing at the stuff we have gotten into. I wish this could be my next 50 years. Just her and I travelling around the US together having fun. Hell maybe with a home base somewhere.

The motel is up ahead and I see there is a bar across the street too. "Hey wanna go out tonight?" I ask her. Lara laughs and shakes her head yes. "OK I am gonna go get us a room." I tell her.

"I am gonna make a quick phone call while you go in." She tells me. Maybe she is trying to fix things with Sam. She is horrible at staying mad at one of us for too long. I worry that will kill her one day. I just hope he doesn't say anything stupid to her, like oh I don't know that I am in love with her.

I get us a room with one bed and the cashier is an old man who could talk the ear off a deaf donkey. After what feels like 30 mins I escape the motel office with a key and I see Lara resting against the wall of the motel looking frustrated. It smells like chocolate and I can't figure out why since she hasn't had any that I know of. "My friends Rick and Luke are going to meet us tomorrow to help." She tells me. I shake my head in understanding. I hope they can handle what I have to do to keep her safe.

We both take showers and get ready to go out. It's amazing how gross just sitting in a car all day can make you feel. I feel my phone vibrate and I pick it up to see a text from Sam. TELL HER YOU MORON... OR I WILL! It says. Before she can see it I close my phone. "Ready?" I ask opening the door.

Lara throws her leather jacket over her outfit for the night and I do a double take. I must not have been paying attention while she was getting ready. She is in a skin tight black dress. I can just see a faint outline of a knife holster on her upper thigh. She has on tall heels that bring her up to top of my chest and make her legs looks amazing. The front of her dress a deep dip and I know she is not wearing a bra since I can almost see her belly button. The dream catcher I got her years ago for her birthday resting between her breasts. If I saw another girl in that dress I would think whore but the way she wears it with her attitude, all I can think is damn that woman in confident and I better not fuck with her. I don't know how long I have been standing here staring at her but she smiles and starts to walk out the front door and I powerless but to follow her. God it looks good from behind. Her ass is perfectly hugged by the black fabric and her legs are begging me to worship them. I will be fighting the men off her tonight. I think with a moan.

Sure enough the moment we enter the bar every man looks up and I can see them devouring her with their eyes. She turns to me and links her arm through mine and I escort her to the bar giving all the men staring at her the most hostile back off this is mine stare I can come up with.

I order us both a beer and a round of shots and Lara shakes off her leather jacket. I know my eyes must have popped out of my head when I see her peal the jacket off. Her dress leaves her back almost completely bare the black fabric falling loosely over her shoulder blades and I can see just the top of her anti possession tattoo. I just want to trace my fingers over the exposed flesh and kiss the nape of her neck. "Thanks Dean, what a gentlemen." She says with a smile while looking over her shoulder and me taking her jacket from her. I didn't even notice I was doing it. I can't help but redden and take a seat next to her at the bar.

After a few rounds we are both tipsy and laughing at each other's jokes. I can still feel the men staring at her but I know they won't approach her. I have made sure my body language reads she's taken, at least for one more night. I may not have claimed her mouth but I keep a part of me on her at all times.

Lara gracefully slides out of her stool and extends her hand to me. "Dance with me?" She asks. I jump up and take her over to the make shift dance floor in front of an old juke box. I take her hand and spin her once around the floor. She laughs and I pull her back into me. There is a slight screech to the juke box and the music changes quickly. The room smells like the ocean and chocolate for a moment and that is weird since it smelled like bourbon and cigarettes a moment ago. I think I hear Lara mutter something about Uncles under her breath but I'm not sure. It only takes a moment to recognize the song playing. Guns n Roses Don't Cry.

Before I can get control of my emotions I pull Lara into me and her head rests on my chest. We make it through the first verse and chorus when the second verse starts.

_Give me a whisper  
>And give me a sigh<br>Give me a kiss before you  
>tell me goodbye<br>Don't you take it so hard now  
>And please don't take it so bad<br>I'll still be thinkin' of you  
>And the times we had...baby<em>

I feel something wet on my shirt and I look down and Lara moves her head back and I can see tears in the corners of her big blue eyes. "Don't cry Lara." I whisper. We both can't help but chuckle that I say that during this song.

_And don't you cry tonight  
>Don't you cry tonight<br>Don't you cry tonight  
>There's a heaven above you baby<br>And don't you cry tonight_

"Dean... I..." She starts then rest her head on my chest for just a moment and looks back up at me. "Dean this might come has a shock and you might be angry at me but I have to tell you. I can't let tonight pass without saying something. I understand if you feel like I have been lying to you or betrayed you but I don't care anymore. I have to let you know. Dean I love you." Lara tells me looking me in the eyes. She must sense my confusion because she blushes slightly and gives me a small smile. "I am in love with you Dean and have been for so long but I was so nervous to tell..."

Before she can say anymore I am kissing her. I am kissing Lara has Dean and nothing has ever felt better in my life. She doesn't hesitate and she doesn't push me back. She just holds me tighter and welcomes me into her mouth. I know we need to stop for a moment just to breath but I don't want to break the contact with her. My head starts to spin and I know I need to pull back. I stop kissing her for a moment and looks down at her. Her eyes slowly open and her hand comes up and lightly touches her lips. "Take me back to the room Dean." She whispers to me.

I take out my wallet and leave money on the bar, not caring how much I left, and I pick her up in my arms, grab our coats, and carry her out of the bar. I don't stop kissing her has we leave the bar and I know everyone is looking at us but I don't care I want her.

The walk across the street seems like an eternity. I have to focus on walking a bit so I don't run us into a car but Lara keeps her hands on my body and her lips are kissing and sucking along my jaw and neck. I fumble with keys to the room and get us in quickly and kick the door shut behind me. I put her on her feet and throw myself on her and push her against the wall while I kiss her wildly. Then it dawns on me. I haven't said it back to her yet. I stop kissing her and pull myself away disentangling myself just enough to look her in the eyes for this. "I love you too Lara." I say with a smile. Lara laughs and kisses me just once. "I kind of figured that out when you kissed me."

I redden again and lean down and claim her lips. "No Lara I need to say it. I love you. I will love you for an eternity despite what happens tomorrow." I can't believe I just said all that. I didn't want her to know that. I don't want her mourning me. She doesn't respond with words but goes on the tops of her toes and kisses me. She starts to push me back slowly. I feel the bed hit the back of my knees and I turn us around quickly and pin her beneath me on the mattress. "How long?" I ask her. I stand back up at the end of the bed and grab her leg. I start to kiss up her ankles towards her.

"How long what?" Lara asks looking down at me moving towards her. "How long have you been in love with me?"

Lara starts to blush and I can see the blush move from her chest to her cheeks. "When did I realize it or in retrospect when did I realize it?" I stop kissing her knee and grab a hold of both her knees pulling to me her laugh filling the room. "Both." I respond leaning down and devouring her neck and collarbone.

It takes a bit for her respond. That maybe because I am distracting her though. "Dean..." She moans out beneath me, her back arching of the mattress. I stop kissing her for her to respond to me. She looks at me and smiles. "I think I knew I always loved you since the moment I meet you. In retrospect I realized it at my prom without even knowing it. I didn't want Tyler there. I wanted you. Then in reality the first time I admitted it was to Jess the night she died. I was on the phone with her telling her I was in love with you when she died. She tried to tell me to tell you because you loved me too."

So that is why she knew what happened to Jess. I lean down and kiss her softly, pouring all the love I feel for her into that kiss. I pull away breathless and Lara's hand comes up to my neck. "When did you realize you loved me?"

"When did I realize it or in retrospect when did I realize it?" I ask her back. She laughs at me and I lean down and kiss her again. "Both." She mutters into my lips.

I force my lips off hers and hold myself up above her. "I guess much like you I always knew, even when we were kids that you were special. You could calm me down when I was mad and hearing from you made me so happy. That week that I was in the hospital and you were mad at me and refused to see me was like torture. "

Lara pushes herself up and kisses me. "I didn't leave you Dean. I was mad at you for lying to me but I spent every night in the hallway outside your room making sure you were safe." I look at her in surprise and she shakes her head. "I was hurt Dean but I had to know you were safe."

I kiss her again and continue. "I guess also like you in retrospect it was your prom that I realized it. I didn't want Tyler there. I wanted to be the one with you. In reality though it was the night with the vampires. That fucking vampire had you and was going to turn you. He was touching you and I wanted to kill him. I realized I could not live without you that night."

We don't speak for a while. We let our bodies do the speaking. We kiss each other and touch every inch of the others bodies. I have dreamt of what this would feel like. In that other world I even got to experience it but it is nothing like the real thing. Her body fits into mine like a missing puzzle piece. She moves in sync with me and we truly are one soul right now.

"Make love to me Dean." She moans beneath me. I stop sucking on her nipple and look up at her. Her eyes are serious. I hear a crash outside and jump out of the bed and stand in front of the bed waiting to kill whoever made that crash. Lara's hand grabs mine. There is no other crash so it must have been a benign accident. I turn around and cover Lara with my body again. "No Lara." I respond kissing her neck.

"Dean please." She begs me. I chuckle and sit up a bit. "No, Lara. You are going to wait until your wedding night for that."

She sits up and grabs my hands. "Then let's go find a priest and get married tonight." I don't respond and think about it for a moment. Lara tries to back track. "I am sorry I didn't mean that you don't have to marry..."

I shut her up with a kiss. Once she is kissing me back I pull away. "Lara I would love to wake some priest up tonight and get married. Nothing would make me happier than to make you mine in name, body and soul. But no, I won't risk leaving you a widow in less than 24 hours. If I make it tomorrow the first thing we will do it is get married and then we won't leave whatever the nearest bed is for a week."

"Promise?" Lara asks through tears. I smile and kiss her deeply. "I swear it to you." That seems to placate her and I move my hands to remove her dress. I have been moving around it until now but it is time to see her. I slide the thin straps down her shoulders and stand up taking her with me. I pull the rest of the dress off her body and she kicks it off. I get on my knees and kiss her thighs removing her knife holster. "I thought you said no Dean?" She smirks at me.

I jump up and kiss her deeply while she unbuttons my shirt and pushes it off my shoulder. When I pull back for her to remove my tshirt I give her a smile. "Lara I said I wasn't going to make love you tonight. There is so much more we can do though."

Before getting back into the bed I kick off my shoes and socks. Lara kicks her heels off and unbuttons and unzips my pants. She pulls them down my hips and I step out of them. We are both in front of each other in just our underwear. I trace my fingers over the lace trim of her lacy blue panties. I bring both my hands to her hips and move them up her side then bring them back to the top of her panties. I pick her up and lay her on the bed then I slip the panties off her body.

There is something about her that I can tell I am already addicted too. If I don't die tomorrow I have a feeling I am going to have a hard time keeping my hands off her. I will have to find us a room to lock ourselves in because I doubt her Uncle Bobby wants to see his niece ravaged again and again by me.

"Are you sure Dean? I don't care if I wait till I am married." Lara moans to me. I kiss her collarbone and move up to the center of her throat. "Lara I may not make love to you tonight but I am going to make sure that I am your first orgasm. That I can promise you."

Lara chuckles and I move down her body again. I can't stop mapping it out. She tastes amazing and her skin feels like silk beneath my hands. Her breasts are perfect and for the first time they are mine. I stop on them for a while and lavish them with attention while Lara moans and wriggles beneath me. I wasn't lying I plan on making sure I am her first orgasm and if I am lucky and live tomorrow I will make sure I am her first for everything.

I finally move off the perfection that is her breasts and kiss down her torso. I get between her legs and she looks down at me and blushes. I smirk at her and force her legs further apart. Yeah I am going to make sure to ruin her for any man that follows me. Just because I want her to find happiness when I am gone it doesn't mean I don't want her to think of me every time she cums.

For a girl who has had very little sexual experience she sure has no shyness of a virgin with me. I guess it's because of the time we spent in the other world. I use my tongue to open her up and she moans out and arch's her bed back off the bed and pushes herself up to my mouth. No this is not the shyness of a normal virgin. She tastes divine and I can't believe we haven't been doing this since her prom. "Oh god Dean!" She shouts out from the top of the bed. I kinda feel bad for the neighbors but not enough to stop.

I replace my mouth with my fingers and quickly move back up her body and take her lips with my tongue while my fingers delve in deeper. "I love you so much Lara." I whisper into her lips. She moans against me and wraps her hands around my chest digging her nails into my back. "God Dead I love you too!" She moans out.

" I want you to cum on me baby." I murmer into her neck has I suck on her soft skin leaving my mark. I feel her tense just a bit then release into my tender care. I hold her has she goes through her first orgasm in this body. I hold her close and continue to cover her in kisses and touches.

Has her breathing goes from gasps for air to even breathing I hold her close. "Mark me has yours Dean. Take me and make me yours. I want everyone to know that I belong to you." I wish I could do just that. I want to take her tonight and make her mine. I want to marry her and put my claim in her finger. But I can't. I won't leave her a widow. I jump out of the bed and Lara groans at the loss of me. I dig through my bag and come back to the bed with a marker.

"If I make it tomorrow Lara I will do all of those things but until then this will have do. " I take the black marker over the skin. It marks her lower abdomen. Dean Winchester's. I write in permanent marker right above her sex. That is the most claiming I can do tonight.

Lara looks down when I am done and smiles. She switches our positions and pins me beneath her. She grabs the marker out of my hand and starts to write above my dick. I look down and she has written property of Lara right above it. I laugh and she throws the marker behind her. She leans down and without warning takes me into her mouth. I wasn't expecting that. This was something that I was pretty sure Lara would never be able to do after what happened with Matt in that apartment almost 2 years ago.

I can't help but moan out has she takes me deeper in to her mouth. "Lara..." I moan out has she moves her tongue over my head and moves her hand over my shaft. She continues to give me the best blow job of my life which is saying something. I don't know if it's she has natural talent of it's just that it's her but damn does it affect me. I can feel my body ready to explode. "Squirt I am gonna cum baby." I warn her. She just looks up at me while she continues to move me in and out of her mouth and sucks harder. I can't stop myself from cumming in her mouth. She continue to suck me through my orgasm and when I am nothing but a boneless gasping mess she comes back up to my lips and kisses me. I pull her onto my chest and we both just lay there holding each other.

"Did you honestly call me squirt right then Dean?" She asks with a chuckle. I think about it and start to laugh. "Yeah baby I guess I did. Hard habit to break." I can't stop laughing at the fact I called her by her childhood nick name at such an adult moment. We both slowly stop chuckling and just lay there holding each other.

"Dean if we don't win tomorrow I want you to know I will find a way to save you." Lara tells me has she traces patterns on my stomach. I shake my head no. "I don't want you making a deal for me love."

"I won't make a deal Dean but I have connections. I will never stop trying until you are back in my arms. I can't presume to know what it will be like down there but I am guessing you won't be able to trust anyone or anything. If anyone comes for you and says there are from me to help don't believe them unless they tell you squirt sent them." I move us so I am leaning over her. I can look her right in the eyes.

"Lara if I don't make it tomorrow I don't want you to waste your life trying to save me and waiting for me. I want you to make a life for yourself. I want you to get married and have children and then have grandchildren. You can't do that if you are trying to save me." I need to know that she will find happiness. That she won't wallow in grief.

What I want for her and she wants for herself right now are two different things, I can tell by the look in her eyes. She grabs my face with both her hands and waits till I look her in the eyes. "I want you to know one thing Dean Winchester. I cannot find happiness with another man. I cannot get married and have children with someone that isn't you. That wouldn't have changed if you told me you loved me or not. You said once that Sam wasn't like us. That when you meet the one you would be a done deal. I am the same way Dean. I have been that way since I was 5 years old and meet you. I was just biding my time until I was old enough to be yours. I love you Dean for now until eternity and I will not just meet some man and marry him. You are it for me." She explains to me.

"I know what you mean. I part of me has been waiting for you to grow up for a long time. You may be a done deal but I want you to know that I want you to be happy. If you can find happiness with someone else then please take it." I beg her.

She doesn't respond with words. She pulls me to her mouth and kisses me deeply. I feel her hands ensnare me and there is nowhere else I would rather be. I love the feeling of her naked skin on me. Our kisses turn my heated and her hands move down my chest to my dick and starts to pump me. I want us both to cum together just once. I kiss her neck and leave more marks while my hands travel down to her center and enter her wet core again.

We both moan and writhe for the other. She is my entire universe right now. Nothing else matters. Our breathing becomes sporadic and I know we are both about to cum again. I continue to take her with my fingers while she holds me while I burrow into her warm hands. We both come together and I roll of her and pull her to my chest. We lay there breathing hard and smiling. "I love you so much Lara."

She turns her neck to look at me. "I love you just has much Dean." I kiss the top of her head and get out of bed to get a wash cloth to clean us up a bit. I don't want to shower right now and erase her mark on me. I want to wear it to my final fight. I can die property of Lara's if nothing else. While I am in the bathroom I get her a glass of water and put the ground up pills into the water and spin them till they dissolve. I have to do this to save her .

When I come back into the room Lara is laying seductively on her side waiting for me. I quickly move across the room and hand her the glass of water. "I thought you might need to hydrate." She blushes and drinks the water greedily. When she is done I see the glass is empty and I put it on the bedside table. I take the damp cloth and clean off her body.

It doesn't take long and she starts to get sleepy. "Let's get some rest love. We have a big day ahead of us tomorrow." I suggest pulling the covers up over our bodies. She doesn't fight me and plasters her naked body around mine. I hold her close and feel her fall asleep in my arms for the last time.

I don't remember falling asleep but I hear my cell phone and I see it is morning has the sun comes through the drapes. I reach for my phone and see the name Sam. I answer it. "hello?" I croak out.

"I'll be there in 30 minutes. Just thought I'd give you a heads up." I look down at the dark mop of hair in my arms that leads to the amazing body wrapped around mine. "Did you tell her?" He asks me nervously.

I chuckles. "Yeah actually I did."

Wait for it... oh there it is Sam's girl like screech. "Thank god you two finally got your heads out of yours asses."

"Hey how do you know it went well. Maybe Lara said she doesn't love me back."

Sam starts to laugh. "Not possible. I spent all day yesterday trying to convince her to tell you that she loves you too. I have known about you two for years." Son of bitch played us! "Is she asleep?"

"Soundly. I'll see you soon."

"I know it seems hard but your right it's for the best Dean. I'll see you soon." I hang up the phone and pull her to me. I memorize the curves of her body one last time tracing my fingers over her. I don't want to leave her. This will be the last time I ever wake up and see her. The last time I ever hold her. The last time I ever smell the spring day that is her unique smell. But I can't risk her dying. And that is what Chad said the season finale was. I have to keep her alive.

I pull myself out of her arms and quickly change and get ready to leave. I set up the room the way I want for her. I take out a piece of paper and start to write her a letter. I fold it up and put it on the dresser. I run outside and I see some wildflowers in the empty plot next to the motel. I grab a few and run back to the room. I leave a flower on the pillow next to her. I set up the coffee maker and toaster next the bed. I put my letter for her on the dresser with a dvd, a small box, and flowers on top of them.

Before I leave I kiss her again. I can't believe I only had a few hours to feel her lips on mine. I should have told her years ago. Now I know she would have reciprocated my feelings and we would have been together. It would have been heaven. Now I have to accept this the last time I will ever taste her.

Sam's heavy steps are ominous outside the door. I know he is here and ready to go. I look at her one last time and kiss her again unwilling to leave her. I fight the tears that are trying to escape and cover her naked body with my leather jacket and leave.

Has expected Sam is outside the bedroom door. "You alright Dean?" Sam asks me nervously. i shake off the need to sob. "I am fine lets go gank this bitch."

a/n Sorry it took me so long but I hope it was worth the wait! Let me know what you think and review.


	55. Chapter 55

Lara's POV

What a perfect evening. It was everything I have ever hoped for minus that he refused to make love to me. I want to be with him in every way I can. I don't know what time it is and I can smell Dean all around me. I snuggle into that scent and rest a bit longer. I slowly open my eyes and focus on a flower laying on the pillow next to mine. I grab it and smile at it. Of course Dean would do something wonderful like that. I notice that his leather jacket is placed over me. Maybe he went to get us breakfast.

I sit up and I see that the bedside table next to me is set up. There is a coffee maker ready and a toaster with a bagel in it. The ice bucket is mostly melted but has cream cheese and cream in it. I smile at Dean's thoughtfulness. There is a note that says hit power and pull the leaver down on the toaster. I chuckle and start them both.

Yesterday started so stressful but it ended to perfectly. First Sam and I got in a huge fight about me telling Dean how I felt. I told him it was impossible but he said that Dean deserves to know. I thought it would be impossible for him to love me back. But I was so wrong.

Then after I called Rick and Luke Uncle Gabe came to see me. He begged me to tell Dean how I felt . He told me that it would give me peace knowing that he might leave this world knowing how I felt. And it would give Dean something to hold on to in hell. We got into a tiff and I told him not to meddle where he was not invited.

When I thought they could not mettle anymore at the bar I could sense them there. I looked up and I saw Uncle Gabe and Cas messing with the juke box and change it to a Guns N Roses song that could not have better explained how we felt that night. I could not help myself from telling him. Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe I just realized I had to get this off my chest. I told him. I told him my deepest secret. He then responded with a kiss. I could feel in that kiss that he loved me back.

Back at the room when I asked him to make love to me I know the angels were there. I could sense them outside the room. I could sense my Uncles and Balthazar there. I think that Michael may have been there too. We both heard the crash and If I had to guess Zachariah and a few of his cronies were trying to keep me from making love to Dean and they were there to stop them. They always said it was my choice.

After we spoke I realized we both felt the same way for each other and for a long time. If we were smarter we would have both spoken up and been together for a long time. Maybe if we had told each other the truth we could have avoided this entire soul selling fiasco to begin with.

I wonder where Dean is? I roll over and put the cream cheese on the bagel and pour myself a cup of coffee and one for Dean. I stretch out and love how well loved my body feels at the moment. My bag is open next to the bed and I pull out a pair of jeans and a tight tank top. I don't want to shower and risk removing Dean's mark. I will forever be Dean Winchester's and he will forever be Lara Maywin's.

Where the hell is the clock? What time is it? Something feels wrong. Our room faces East it shouldn't be dark it should be filled with light. I can't help the panic that bubbles up from my stomach. I fumble around my purse searching for my phone. I finally find it and pull it out 8:30 pm?! What the hell? Am I dreaming? I pinch myself tightly, nope not dreaming. "Dean?!" I call out into the dark room. No response. I pull out my phone and find Dean's name and hit send. It only rings a few times. "Dean where are you?" I ask frantically into the phone.

"Calm down love everything is fine." He responds calmly. I relax just a bit. Dean will fix this. "Dean my phone says its 8:30 pm and you are not here." I cry into the phone still feeling overwhelmed and confused.

There is a long pause on the other line. "Lara I am sorry."

"What are you sorry about Dean?" I ask confused.

"Lara I had to do something that I knew you would not like to save your life." He tells me. I don't respond waiting for him to explain. "When we were in Jensen and Liv's life I asked Chad if we knew what happened at the end of the season. He said that I die and that you were ripped apart by hell hounds and most likely dead. I could not risk that squirt."

It takes a moment but it starts to sink in. "What are you saying Dean?" I need to hear it from him. There is a long pause then he starts. "I drugged you so that you would sleep long enough to not be able to be here for this. I could not risk you dying. I had to know that you lived. I could not survive your death."

"Did you fake last night to drug me!?" I shout into the phone. Please God he could not have faked that. I felt his love in every kiss, every touch. There is no way that was fake unless he thought it was the only way to subdue me enough to drug me. That is why he wouldn't make love to me.

"No Lara! How can you even suggest that? You know me better than that. Think of how I held you, how I kissed you. Is there any way to fake the love in every single touch? Nothing that I said or did with you last night was a lie. I love you Lara past my last breath." He reassures me into the phone. "You are everything to me baby. Never doubt that."

"Then why don't you want me with you? We should be spending all the time we can together. You chose to take those hours away from us." Can't he see how wrong this is?

"If I could Lara I would have spent all my last moments with you. I would have loved to see your face for my last vision but Lara you were going to die. I had to do this. I had to sacrifice that to keep you alive." He sounds so sincere.

"I am going to try and make it there!" I yell at him.

"You can try put I will hope you fail." He tells me sadly.

There is nothing I can say right now. My heart breaks. I feel the tears pour from my eyes. "Tell me you love me Dean. I need to hear it."

"I love you Lara. I love you more than anything from the first moment I set my eyes on you until my soul burns up and no longer exists." I can't help but sob into the phone. "Please stay in the hotel room and stay safe. I left a note for you. Please read it and wait until I call you at midnight and if I can't Sam will."

"I can't promise that Dean. I am coming for you. I will make sure I am the last face you see. I love you just has much and I need to see you." I then hang up the phone. I love him but I feel betrayed. I stumbled over the things that are piled up on the dresser. There is a small box, his amulet, a cd in a case and a letter that has my named scrawled in Dean's writing on it. The amulet is cold so I know he has been gone for hours because he never takes it off. I pull it over my head and it sits just below my dream catcher. I pick up the letter and open it.

_Dear Lara,_

_ I know that you are going to have a hard time understanding why I did what I did. When we were in that other world I had to know that you were safe after my deal was due. Chad said that in the finale it ends with me dead and you ripped apart by hell hounds and Sam sobbing over your body begging you to live. I could not risk that. I had to make sure that you survived tonight. I could not go to hell worrying that you weren't on earth to survive me. I love you too much to allow you to die._

_ A part of me wishes that I had grown a pair of balls years ago and told you that I loved you then. I can only imagine what wonderful path our lives would have taken had that been the case. But there was something also perfect about last night. Every word, every touch, every kiss was better than I could have ever imagined and in reality I don't regret anything. Just so you know if you ever show Sam this letter I would deny ever writing it...(Just so you know I am smiling and winking at you right now.)_

_ There is so much I wish I could have told you still though. I may not have the time to tell you but I can show you. If I don't survive tonight I want you to take the dvd that was on top of this letter and watch it when you can. I hope that it will explain how I feel about you. _

_ If things had gone differently if I had been a different, possibly better man, I could have died with the knowledge that you were mine, Mrs. Winchester. The small box holds what is yours anyways. Please accept it but don't let it stop you from finding happiness. If you find a man that can make you happy please take it. It will make me happy knowing that are happy. I know it might take time for you to feel like you can love again but you can Lara. _

_ Last night that was the best night of my life and I hope that we have many more but if we don't I just want you to know I love you. You are my other half, my soul mate. I will love you forever Lara and the memories I have made with you will keep me sane in hell. _

_I love you._

_Love,_

_Dean_

I reread the note over and over again just pouring over his words, my heart breaking. He does love me that is sure. I pick up the small box and open it slowly and let out a sob. It's his mothers engagement ring. I take it out of the box and slip it on my finger. He should have been the one slipping it on my finger from one knee. But it fits so well like it was always meant to be on my finger. I wore it once before for a hunt but it feels heavier now. Feels more real.

The dvd says for Lara and that is it. I pick it up and tuck it in safely in my bag along with Dean's folded leather jacket. "Uncle Cas? Uncle Gabe?" I cry out. Within moments the room is filled with the sound of flapping wings and they are both with me. They envelope me in their arms, wings, and grace. "Please get me to him. I have to be there." I cry out into their shoulders.

Uncle Gabe runs hands through my hair. "Darling I would love to but he is right. If you are there you will die. We are forbidden to take you." His words don't soothe me like they normally do. I cry harder. "Please I need to be with him."

My Uncles share a look and I know they are debating something without words. After a few minutes Uncle Cas takes in a deep breath. "Tonight is unavoidable. We cannot stop Lilith from taking Dean's soul. He made a deal. There is nothing we can do to stop her from taking it."

I raise my head and look him in eyes, my vision clouded with tears. "I wish there was something we could do but our hands are tied. We are not allowed to interfere with the decisions you all make on earth." He says sadly. I know he would do something if he could. He loves me to much not too. I collapse on him. "Please can one of you at least drive with me."

They both shake their heads and they help me gather what I have left spread around the room. There is a bulky envelope taped to my bedroom door and I pull it off and rip it open spilling a set of keys.

_Lara,_

_I agree with him but I know you. It's parked in front of your door._

_Sam_

Low and behold there is a car sitting in front of my room and the keys work to open it. I guess this is the car that Sam stole to get here. Uncle Gabe offers to drive but I need the control right now. I need to be the one to drive. I need to feel the speed.

"Last night did Zachariah try to break into the room?" I ask them both. They both chuckle softly and Uncle Gabe touches me arm softly. "He did not like you asking Dean to make love to you so he tried to break in and stop it. But don't worry Castiel, Balthazar, Michael, and I kept him from interrupting. I told you it was always your choice dear and it is."

I knew they were there. I drive like a crazy woman for the next 3 hours. I am pretty sure that Uncle Gabe and Cas have used their grace to keep the cops from stopping me because I know that I have broken just about every traffic law there is.

At 11:58 my phone rings and I dive for it. "Dean?" I shout into the phone. "Lara I am sorry. I don't think we can beat her. I just wanted to hear your voice. I love you Lara."

"I love you too Dean. Please just hold on I am no more than 5 minutes away. I can help you kill her. Please Dean just hold on." I beg him.

"We can't beat her Lara. She is stronger than I ever thought possible for a demon. The hell hounds are already here. Sam and I have locked ourselves in a room and Rick and Luke took care of the demons outside. I just... Lara I wish we had... well I wish we had more time. But no amount of time would have been enough. I love you."

Growls start to penetrate the sound on the other side of the phone. "Fight it Dean! I will be there soon! I love you! I am 4 minutes away!"

There is a garbled voice on the other side and I hear Ruby's voice but it sounds nothing like her. "I am taking what is mine Winchester. It is time."

"DEAN I LOVE YOU!" I shout into the phone. I want him to hear me last. "Dean I will love you until someone makes my soul stop existing. Dean please fight it."

It is hard to hear on the other line but I know I am on speaker because of the talk back. I hear Sam and Ruby's body fighting and Dean trying to fight off the hell hounds. "I LOVE YOU LARA!" He screams into the phone.

"I LOVE YOU DEAN!" Then the phone is filled with the sounds of muscle being ripped from the bone. "DEAN!" I scream out.

The only sound is blood gurgling and animals feeding. Then I hear Sam's body hit the floor. "Dean, oh god Dean!" He cries out. I am to late I know it. Just 3 minutes to late.

I pull up the house and leave the car still on in the driveway not even bothering saying good bye to my Uncles. I run into Rick and Luke at the front door. "Don't go in there baby girl you don't need to see this." Luke tells me has I push past them. I rip open the front door and run through the house following the sounds of Sam's sobs. The sight in front of me is hard to accept. Sam is crying over Dean's body. God his body is ripped to shreds. His chest is ripped open and I can see where the hounds have gnawed on him. The blood bubbling out of his body.

I drop to my knees next to his body and collapse on him. "Dean!" Please just move Dean. "I love you Dean." I sob into his open chest. I can feel his blood saturating my clothes. For a moment I am glad I left his coat in my bag. "Dean please don't leave me not now."

The room seems to freeze and I feel my Uncles with me next to Sam's unmoving body and Dean's still bleeding corpse. "Fix him please! Bring him back!" I beg them.

Uncle Cas sits next to me and puts his arms around me. "Please save him Uncle Cas! Please bring him back. I need him. I love him." My tears are mixing with his blood and we are one again.

"I am sorry dear. He is gone. His soul is forfeit to hell." He whispers into my hair has he holds me. "Uncle Gabe?" I ask him with a shaky voice. Please can't one of them do something. What is the point of having guardian angels and spending my whole life with them and if they can't keep me from this one heart break.

"Yes dear?" He asks running a hand through my hair. "Can you bring him back to me."

He doesn't respond for awhile. "If any of us ever have that power we will let me him know his squirt sent him." Nothing is certain. The room changes and Uncle Gabe cloaks himself and Sam starts to move again.

"We need to go Lara." He tells me softly. I shake my head no. "Not without him." I respond. Sam stands up and comes back with bedding.

"I need to wrap him up Lara so we can get him in the car." I don't want to let go of him but he is right . For us to get him home we need to wrap him. Dean would be infuriated with me if he comes back and his car is filled with blood. I help Sam gently wrap Dean in the sheets from the beds of the house. I refuse to allow him to cover his face yet though.

Before we leave he grabs a few quilts and lays them out in the back seat of the impala. Rick and Luke help Sam take Dean's body to the car and lay it in the back seat. Before they can shut the door I push them out of the way and crawl into the back seat. I lay my body out next to him and hold him to me. I need to feel him one last time.

They don't say anything and Sam shuts the door behind me. I can hear them talking outside the car but I don't care what they say. I kiss Dean's face tasting his blood on my lips but I don't care. "I am here Dean. I love you." I whisper into his cooling ear.

The car door opens and Sam comes in and turns it on. He doesn't say anything just starts to drive. I know that Uncle Gabe is keeping our car safe. If anyone was to look in the back seat I can only imagine the uproar it would cause, but I don't care. I need him.

I hold his body in my arms the entire drive. I pull him to me and whisper that I love him over and over again. I pepper his face, his lips, his neck with kisses. I tell him the life that we will have because I won't rest until I have rescued him. I tell him about the first time I realized I love him. I tell him everything I wish I had more time say. His body remains immobile and he does not respond yet I can feel that he knows what I am saying.

"We would have been really happy Dean. Possibly happier then Liv and Jensen because we waited so long to be together and we have known each other since we were children. I can see us making a life like them. We would have a small house not fancy like theirs but more like us. We would still hunt but have a home together. Money would be tight but we would have so much fun pulling that house together. I would vote that our first purchase be a bed. A really big awesome comfy mattress. The rest will come with flea markets and a little bit of elbow grease but we need that mattress for everything I plan on doing with you. Then down the road we would have a baby. I can see what our beautiful baby would have looked like. He would have your pouty lips and your green eyes and my dark hair. You would have fallen hopelessly in love with him when the doctors put him in your arms after I gave birth and I know you would have died to protect him. Our life would have been blessed Dean." If Sam hears me he doesn't acknowledge it. He lets me have this drive with Dean.

"I wish I had told you everything I felt sooner. I can only imagine how you would have responded to a 17 year old me telling you that I love you. I assume you would have fought me on it at first. Telling me that I way to young and didn't know what I want. But eventually you would have caved because you felt the same way. Man my uncle Bobby would have castrated you." God we have been so stupid and because of it we only got one night.

All of the bumps in the road tell me that I am home. Each divot in the road reminding me that once I am home someone is going to try and take Dean's body from me and I am not ready for that yet. Sam stops the car and sits in there quietly for a few minutes before I hear him get out of the car. I keep my body turned and holding Dean.

The voices outside the car tell me that Rick, Luke, Sam, Jo, Uncle Bobby, and Aunt Karen are all out there but I can't focus on their words I can only think about the body in my arms. "I'm not going to leave you Dean." I whisper into his ear.

The door creaks open and I feel a pair of hands touch my ankle. "Honey why don't you come inside dear." My aunt Karen says calmly but I can hear the tears in her voice. "Come on darling come out of the car."

"No." I moan out. I can't leave the car. It's Dean's. It smells like him and it even feels like him. "Honey please come out of the car and come inside dear." She tells me again. I just shake my head no. I can't leave him.

The door near my head opens and I see my Uncle Bobby knelling in front of the door and he reaches out and touches my hair. "Honey you need to come inside and we need to bury Dean."

"NO! You can't bury him. Please I'm not ready for that yet." Uncle Bobby shakes his head slowly. "How about you and Dean both move into the house for a bit then. Then we will figure out what we need to do."

That I think I can do. I shake my head slowly yes still unwilling to let go of him yet. I feel Uncle Bobby's arms start to pull me out of the car and I try to cling to Dean but I know we can't get him into the house that way. Once he gets me out I look down at Dean's pale body in the car. "Bring him in you promised." I whisper into my uncle's chest.

"We are honey just relax." He starts to carry me into the house and I twist around to see Sam, Luke, and Rick getting Dean out of the car. Once he is out Rick gets his legs and Luke gets his arms while Jo latches on to Sam and holds him.

"Take us to my room." I tell them. Uncle Bobby carries me into the house and I feel him take me up the stairs and into my room. He sets me on my feet and I Rick and Luke bring Dean in behind us. "Put him on the bed please." I tell them.

Once he is on the bed I look at them. "Please leave us." I can tell that Sam wants to fight me on that request but Jo grabs his hand and they all leave the room. "Uncle Cas?" I pray out.

It only takes a moment and I hear his wings flutter and I know he is with me. I feel his grace and wings surround me in a protective bubble. "I am here dear."

For a few minutes I don't bother speaking. I just soak in the love I can from his grace. "Uncle Cas can you please fix him. I know you can't bring him back but please his body make it whole just for a bit longer." I beg him.

"I can make him whole until they come back. Sam, Jo, Rick, and Luke would not understand if his body was made whole again." The pressure in the room changes and I move to Dean's body. I pull the sheets off his chest and the residual blood sticks to his skin but has I peal it back I see the his skin is mended and no longer ripped open. His skin has a bit more color to it and for just a moment I can pretend he is still with me. I climb into the bed next to him and his muscles are still limber. I guess Dean was able to get rid of rigor mortis for just a while at least. I lay down into his arms and warp myself around him.

Uncle Cas combs his fingers through my hair. "Lara I have to go on a mission starting tonight. I will not be around until my mission is complete. I wish I could stay with you especially now when you will need us so much but I have to go. Your Uncle Gabe, my brother Michael, and my brother Balthazar will be here with you any time you need them."

I turn my neck and look at them. "Please don't leave Uncle Cas. I need you." He gives me a sad smile and kisses my forehead. "If I didn't have to go I would stay but I have too." I shake my head in understanding.

"Take this time with him. When they come his body will revert back to how it should be. I love you Lara and I need you stay strong for me." I don't respond and pull Dean closer into me. I need this with him. His body may not be responsive but it's enough for me to just hold him. I continue to talk to him about whatever comes into my head.

They leave me alone for a long time and it's not till the light outside fades to dark that anyone knocks on my door. "Lara it's me. We need to bury him Lara." Sam tells me from outside the door. I don't respond and he tries the handle and it opens up. The moment the door opens Dean's body changes back to how it was. It goes cold and stiff around me.

"I don't want to bury him Sam. He will need his body when I get him back." I hold on tight not willing to lose him. "We aren't going to give him a hunter's burial Lara. We will leave his body intact. Please come out with me Lara."

Sam's hands come around my arms and starts to pull me out of the bed and away from Dean. "No Sam please..." I cry out. I don't even know how I have tears left but I do. Sam pulls me to his chest. "I am sorry Lara. We have too. Don't worry I will not rest till I bring him back."

Before I can fight him Uncle Bobby comes in the room and they both keep their arms tightly around me. "Come on honey lets go downstairs and get him ready."

I can't fight them. They are right. We have to bury him I just can't stomach the thought of putting him in the ground. They sit me down at the kitchen table and hand me a glass of whiskey. There is a casket sitting in the middle of the living room. "Where did you get that?" I ask my uncle accusingly. Did he not believe that we could save Dean so he bought a casket just in case?

Rick leans down next to me. "Luke and I stole on this afternoon while you were resting chickadee. Don't worry we got him a nice one." He says trying to make me smile. I take a deep swig of my whiskey and like the burning feelings it leaves going down my throat. There is a lot of noise coming down the stairs and I see Sam and Uncle Bobby trying to carry Dean down the stairs to the casket. I jump up and grab his hand before they lower him in. His body is ripped apart again and there is no peace on his face when they lower him in. I hold tightly unto his hand. I don't know if I can let go.

"We are going to go dig up a plot baby girl. Is there anywhere you want it?" Luke asks me from the front door. I think hard. I want it somewhere nice and somewhere I can get to easily. "There is a small field is you walk 20 yards or so from my bedroom window next to the lot." They shake their heads and go outside.

Sam sits on the ground with me staring at his brother. I know this is rough for him to but my heart hurts to much to think about how is he faring. My chest feels like someone has slammed a fist through it and pulled out my heart. How am I supposed to survive this?

Time seems to stop and I don't know how long I have been sitting here on the floor holding Dean's frozen hand. The front door opens and Rick and Luke come through. They give my Uncle Bobby a look and I know the hole is dug. Aunt Karen comes over and kneels down on the ground next to me. "Honey we need to bury him." She whispers into my ear has she holds me. I don't respond.

They all must assume I won't fight them because they move to shut the lid. "If you shut that lid I will rip off your god damned hands and feed it to the dogs out back." I say calmly to my uncle. He jumps back and Aunt Karen holds me tighter. I stand but not letting go of Dean's hand and they all get the gist that we will go out with the casket open for now.

It's difficult to get us all out there. With me holding his hands the lid up but we do. Rick and Luke moved the cars around the plot so we could see. When we get next to it Sam, Rick, Luke, and Uncle Bobby lower the casket to the ground and I kneel down with it. I lean over the lip and kiss Dean's lips softly. "I love you Dean and I will find a way to bring you back." I whisper into them.

Apparently Uncle Bobby did not see this coming because I hear him whisper "What just happened?" To my Aunt Karen and her shush him.

I try to let go of his hand and shut the lid but I can't. "Sam help me." I cry out. He must understand what I mean because he is next to me in a moment and I feel his hand link with mine trying to pry my fingers off Dean's. Once he manages that he pulls my hand back and shuts the lid softly and I fall into Sam's chest sobbing.

Rick, Luke, and Uncle Bobby manage to get the casket in the ground and pick up their shovels to cover it back up. I try to escape Sam's arms once and jump in after him but he manages to trap me. It doesn't take long and the hole is covered. We all start to go inside but I can't leave him. He can't spend his first night alone in the ground. "No I have to stay!" I yell trying to wrestle out of Sam's arms.

"You need to come in Lara. At least shower and eat first honey." Aunt Karen pleads with me. "No I need to be with him! He can't be alone!"

"Why don't we stay with him while you go in eat and take a bath baby girl." Luke suggests from behind me. I shake my head slowly. "Ok just wait till I come back."

They usher me into the house and Sam and I sit together at the table. I can tell he is worried I am going to bolt. He looks just has broken has me right now. I eat a few spoonfuls of the soup that Aunt Karen puts in front of us before I push it away and head upstairs.

I stop in front of the mirror and look at myself for the first time. Shit. I am covered in blood. It looks like I have honest to god been bathing in it. I can just see my eyes peering out through it. "Dean." I cry out touching him still on my skin. I don't want to wash it off but I know I must if I ever want to go out in public again. I strip off my shirt and jeans folding them nicely on the toilet. I will not be washing or throwing them out. They are saturated in Dean's blood and I need to keep it. My hand flutter over my stomach where Dean marked me. I can't shower. "Uncle Gabe." I pray out.

It only takes a moment and he is the small bathroom with me. "What is wrong dear?" He asks me pulling me into his arms. I sink into him. "Dean wrote on me. I can't shower and risk losing it. Can you burn it into my skin."

He chuckles a bit and I give him a incredulous stare. How can be chuckling at a time like this. "Sorry dear. Your Uncle Cas just hates when you get a tattoo. I don't mind though. Of course I will make sure the ink becomes permanent." HIs hand touches my stomach and it's hot for a moment then it's done. "It will never wash off now dear."

"Thank you." I whisper to him. "You can leave now. I need to shower." He leaves and I turn the shower on hot and jump in. I let the hot water scald my skin has I rub the last bit of Dean off my skin. It's hard to wash blood off. Once it dries it sticks to the skin. I scrub at it until I am nothing but a sobbing mess now sitting under a spray of freezing water. I get myself together and turn the water off and dry off.

In my room I find a pair of sweat pants and an old tshirt I am pretty sure was Deans. I put it on and throw my favorite Stanford sweatshirt on over it. I head downstairs and out the door. I pop the trunk to my bug to pull out my sleeping bag. When I get back to Dean's grave Luke and Rick are still there has promised. "Thank you. " I tell them both, opening my sleeping bag over the recently dug grave."

I unzip the sleeping bag slipping into the warm material. I spread my hands over the ground beneath me. "I am here Dean. I won't ever leave you." I tell him and try to fall asleep. I know everyone takes a turn watching me out here and they probably think I am crazy but I don't care. I can't allow Dean to spend his first night in the ground alone.

a/n So I hope you all liked the chapter. let me know what you thought!


	56. Chapter 56

Dean's POV

I only have 2 more minutes. That is certain now. For a moment I thought that we could beat her. It was just a fleeting feeling. We have always won before, but that's what everyone thinks before they lose. Unfortunately my first lost is the game of my life. Now what Chad said would happen is happening. I am just glad Lara wasn't here for this. I grab my phone, I need to hear her again. "Dean?!" She yells into the phone frantically.

"Lara I am sorry. I don't think we can beat her. I Just wanted to hear your voice. I love you Lara." I wish I had better news for her. I don't want to be leaving her in what is now 90 seconds. I never want to have to leave her.

"I love you too Dean." My heart jumps at the declaration. I can't believe I actually get to hear her say she loves me. I will die knowing she loves me back. I would never tell Sammy but I am glad he kept pushing us to say it yesterday. "Please just hold on. I am no more than 5 minutes away. I can help you kill her. Please Dean just hold on." She begs me on the phone. I wish I could hold on 5 minutes. I can tell that I won't last 15 seconds against the hell hounds once my due date comes.

"We can't beat her Lara. She is stronger than I ever thought possible for a demon. The hell hounds are already here. Sam and I have locked ourselves in a room and Rick and Luke took care of the demons outside. I just... Lara I wish we had... well I wish we had more time. But no amount of time would have been enough. I love you." God they are surrounding us. I can hear their growls and almost feel the heat of their breath.

I put the phone on speaker. I want to have these last moments with her. I wish I could see her face again before I die but her voice will have to be enough. "Fight it Dean! I will be there soon I love you! I am 4 minutes away." Lara yells at me.

Ruby turns to me and for the first time I notice that she isn't Ruby. Demons are just so ugly I didn't notice it wasn't her. "I am taking what is mine Winchester. It is time."She growls at me. I have no hope now. She is in the room with us.

I can hear Lara breath in deeply like she is about to sob into the phone. "DEAN I LOVE YOU!" She yells into the phone. God I am happy she will be the last thing I hear. "Dean I will love you until someone makes my soul stop existing. Dean please fight it."

I do try. I try to fight them if to just see her face through the window. I know that Sam and Lilith are fighting whatever and he is doing it is scaring her and she realizes she can't hurt him. One of the hell hounds rip into my arm. "I LOVE YOU LARA!" I yell into the phone that I dropped somewhere. She needs to know I love her.

"I LOVE YOU DEAN!" She responds quickly right as the hell hound gets his teeth sunken into my neck. It doesn't hurt like I thought it would. I guess I am in shock. The next hound is on me. I can feel to sets of teeth sinking into my skin. This one hurts more. The teeth go through my skin, through my muscles, down to the bone. "DEAN!" I hear has the hound gets his teeth around my heart and it goes dark.

For a moment, or maybe eternity, time is stuck here, it goes black. Just black. Calm and peaceful after the hell hounds just made a snack of me and I can get a breath. The part of me that is still connected to my body can feel her. I can feel the brush of her knees on my side, the warmth of her breath on my face, the touch of her hands on my shoulders. "Dean!" She screams for me. I want to respond. I want to tell her I love her. "I love you Dean!" She sobs out. Her face falling into the open cavity that is my chest. "Dean please don't leave me now." She cries out. I want to make my hands move and hold her and let her know I don't want to leave her.

Whatever connection I had to my body is gone now. I can't feel her. I don't feel attached to anything, I'm just floating. I can still hear her voice breaking through the fog though. It's like having a radio go in and out of service. Her voice is breaking that is easy to tell but she is telling me how much she loves me and how she will get me back. All about this amazing life she has planned for us. "I will find you Dean... we will be so happy...we will buy our own home and... then we will have a baby that will..."

Then the images start to flash. It takes a moment for me to realize it's my life. I guess hell can't take this moment from me. I see my mom and dad holding me, my mom singing me to sleep and kissing my scraped knees. I see Sammy being put into my hands for the first time when he was just a new born. There is a lot of moments with Sammy. Him learning to talk and stuttering out De. Sam then learning how to walk and stumbling over to my open arms. Sammy getting an A on a spelling test that I helped him study for all night. Then she comes in my life. It pauses here for a moment. This is one of the most important if not most important moments in my life. It's the moment I meet my soul mate. I forgot how adorable she was that day. She was standing next to her aunt, her dark hair in pig tails but it were slightly falling out. She was clutching onto Suzie and smiling at all of us Winchesters. Her big blue eyes looking at me waiting for my answer to a question as simple as what is your name. I was so distracted by her that I forgot to answer. How could we have been so dumb these last years. Our souls knew what our minds didn't at that age. We were meant to be together and my soul was just soaking in the moment, the warmth of her. Then it restarts. So much flashes. Getting my high school diploma and the proud smile my dad gave me, seeing Sammy's face when we gave him his car, dropping Sam off at Stanford and knowing that I did well by him, taking Lara to prom, taking her on her first hunt. Those were expected. I can't believe that her holding my hand in the hospital bed when I was dying from my heart injury would be in there. I also didn't think the moment after my father dropped his gun from her head and that strange man said that Lara wasn't going to be a vampire would be there, but it make sense. It's the moment I realized I loved her. I look at me holding her and I want to kick my ass. I could have told that morning and we could have had all this time. Lara dropping her tray and running into my arms after months of being separated. Holding her that night while she slept. Coming back from that crazy djinn world but still holding Lara. The first time we kissed, even if lust forced us, pushes its way into my mind. Making love to her in the other world, twice, is definitely a nice one to relive. I know I am near the end. Lara dancing in my arms and looking up at me and saying that she loves me. Carrying her back to the room and ravishing her body, and most importantly saying I love her back. Then hearing her voice say she loves me as I die.

Those moments fade away and the next thing I know I am being pulled in different directions. I feel the thorny web of hell weave itself around my arms and legs and start to pull. The thorns digging into my skin like barbed wire. "Lara!" I can't help but yell out. She is always on my mind, even now. I try to just breath in and out. I need to calm down. I can't afford to lose it in the first minute of being in hell. I have eternity here and I need to ground myself. I close my eyes tightly trying to block out the acidic feel of the sulfur on my eye balls. I call Lara's beautiful smile to my mind. How her lips pull up over her teeth and her deep blue eyes twinkle. Sometimes her hair falls down and cover her face and she'll just flip it back and laugh. Yes I can focus on that. Lara.

It's hard to tell how long I spend in the web. It could have been hours, days, or years. Time here seems go by its own rules. I feel lost. It's amazing how the feel of the prongs digging into my skin start to fade as they become the new normal. I must have drifted off because the next time I come too I am laying down. I move but I'm restricted. I can feel the warm feel of warmed metal on my back. I jiggle my wrists and legs and I can tell they are tethered down with thick metal chains. I couldn't get out if I wanted too. I can feel the weight of my jeans on my legs and an undershirt on my chest but that is it. My coat and boots are gone. Its dark so I can't tell anything else about my surrounding except that it is hot as hell, I guess pun intended.

There's a sound and what I assume is a door being pushed open slamming into the wall. It takes my eyes a moment to adjust the light shadowing the figure. It looks like I am in a dank cave that much I can make out when my eyes adjust. "Dean!" The figure shouts out. It doesn't take but a moment to recognize the voice. "Lara?!" I shout back.

She runs across the room and throws herself on me and starts to sob. I try to lift my hand to run through her hair. I want to comfort her. "Lara how are you here?" I ask her nervously . She looks up at me with tears in her eyes. "I didn't notice the hell hounds still in the room and they got me while I was mourning you."

"No!" I scream out. That is what I was trying to avoid this entire time. The entire reason I gave up those hours with her was to save us from this moment. Before I can say more the room fills with the stench of sulfur and an overhead light comes on. It's one of those fluorescent lights that I hate. They let out such a cold sterile light and I hate that tinking sound they make when they turn on. "Oh so I see the lovers have meet back up. Isn't this dear."

"Dean." Lara mutters out as she pushes herself off me and starts to fiddle with my constraints trying to free me. The creature is behind Lara in a flash and before I can warn her he has her bent over me, trapping her with his body. "Let her go, she shouldn't be here!" I scream out.

The creature cackles into her neck. I can feel Lara shaking above me. I can tell he is a demon but it's hard to look at him, he's just so hideous. The skin on his face is dripping like it is melting off. It's covered in oozing sores, and weeping cracks. There are irregular growths coming out of his head at weird and broken angles. He's even uglier than Lilith. He sticks out his forked tongue that is covered in sores and licks up Lara's neck leaving a trail of slime. I try to break free but I can't. She lets out a sob and he chuckles. "The bitch choose this. Said she wanted to be with you Dean."

Our eyes meet. "Lara... no... you can't. You need to leave here baby. You don't belong here." She starts to respond but before she can speak the demon pushes her head down in to my chest. "Don't worry the bitch will soon belong here."

The sound of ripping fabric fills the room like a nuclear bomb. Lara lets out a startled cry and tries to push herself up but he keeps a firm grip on her head and uses his body to keep her pinned to me. "Someday Dean, if you do everything I say, I may reward you with her body like this. But only if you do what are a supposed to."

"Dean!" Lara cries out and it only takes me a second to know what is happening. He is raping Lara, on me. "Let go over her! I will fucking kill you!" I scream out trying to get to her. If I could just hold her hand. Lara's tears fall freely on to my chest and I can feel them dampening my shirt. "Dean." She keeps yelling out.

"Just look at me baby. This will all be over soon. I love you honey." I tell her trying to get her to focus on me and not him. There has to be something I can do. Then it dawns on me, I don't know if it will work but it might down here. "CHRISTO! CHRISTO! CHRISTO!" I shout trying to startle him even if only a little bit. The creatures eyes flash back and he glares at me. Then I notice that Lara's eyes are black too. "Lara?" I stutter out not sure what is going on. Slowly the facade of Lara simmers away and it is replaced with a demon that is not much prettier then the ugly ass hole behind her. "Not quite..." She laughs out.

The demon behind her growls and grabs the demon by a patch of hair that is still clinging to her head and turns her around. He proceeds to fuck her roughly over me but this time she seems to enjoy it. When he's done he throws her body to the ground. "Leave." He tells her and she jumps up and runs of the room.

"Well so much for that. I thought I could torture you for a few good decades before you realized that bitch was just another demon and not your precious Lara. I guess I'll just have to come up with something else now won't I."

He crosses the room quickly and starts to cut into my upper arm with his razor sharp nails. It hurts but I don't flinch, I can tell this will be nothing compared to what is about to happen. Once he is done he cuts his palm and drips the blood over what he just carved into me. "What are you doing?" I chirp up for the first time.

"You're mine now Dean." He responds cooly not giving me any other idea as to what he just did to my arm. The creatures back is to me and I can hear him playing with metal tools on a table. I can hear them clank as he puts them back down after picking them up. "My name is Aliaster. You will come to worship me Dean."

Sam's POV

The world is different now. Dean isn't here. My big brother for the first time in my life isn't here to reassure me. To back me up. He's gone. He's dead. He's in hell. How has it been a month already? Jo is doing what she can to comfort me but there isn't much she can do. Has she clings to me in my twin bed I can't help but think of Ruby as well. She was there with us for that final fight. She agreed to help and now I have no clue where she is either. Hell for all I know she is dead and not back in hell dead but just gone. I love Jo and I know I shouldn't be thinking of Ruby while I hold her but I can't stop it. I can admit I feel something for Ruby too. I said it would just happen once but I couldn't help myself and it happened again. I hated myself afterwards but it didn't stop me from doing it again and again. It happened the second time at Adam and Kate's house. I don't know how no one found out but they didn't. They were all upstairs and Lara was sleeping. We were working on hex bags in the basement when our hands brushed and the next thing I know we are fighting to remove our pants and fuck like wild animals. It was rushed and quick and dirty but it happened. I swore it wouldn't happen again but I was wrong. While we were meeting with a contact of Ellen's Ruby showed up while I was in the library and Jo was talking with the contact. One look at her and I knew I wouldn't be able to help myself and we barely made it the bathroom before I had her pushed against the wall. It's wrong not just to do it to Jo but also against nature. I know Ruby is a demon but something in her calls to me.

Lara mumbles out and I reach over and touch her shoulder lightly. Tonight is my night on Lara watch. It's been almost month since Dean died and Lara is falling deeper and deeper into a dark hole that I don't see a way out of. We have a rotation going of who is with Lara and on what night she might actually fall asleep. Her nightmares, that have always been terrible, have become increasingly violent and terrifying to everyone. For the most part she refuses to sleep and has buried herself in research and weapons training. On the nights she passes out Bobby, Rick, Luke, or me carry her to bed and one of us stay with her. Karen and Jo have proven to not be strong enough to handle her when she is too wild. The first night Karen watched over her Lara knocked her unconscious. Jo took a turn saying she could handle it but Lara broke her arm and since then it is one of us men who sit with her. She claims she can see what is happening to Dean. I don't know if she can or if she just thinks she does. I guess it doesn't matter it is real to her.

My little sister, my best friend, my first friend is falling apart and the only that can fix her is my older brother and he's dead. Lara has her nose buried in any book she can get her hands on and I know we are all on the phone constantly trying to find someone who can fix this. The door to Lara's bedroom cracks open and Jo gives me a sad smile and points at Lara with her unbroken arm. I give her a nod letting her know that Lara is alright for now.

Alright that is a funny word. Is Lara alright? I guess it's how you define it. Is she alive? Yes, but then again is she really alive or just breathing? In reality she's breathing, she can hear, she can see but she isn't alright she isn't living. I can see it in her eyes she is dying. Her heart is breaking apart into little pieces that are slowly killing her. I wouldn't be surprised if she's dead within the year. She can't keep going like this. Reading and researching until she is too tired to keep her eyes open. Then instead of sleeping going out and training to stay awake. Shooting targets and killing imaginary adversaries. She was always scary accurate with a gun but with her constant training she's deadly, with nothing to lose. Karen and Jo try to get her to eat but she refuses. When she tries she says it tastes like sulfur and throws it up. I was able to convince her to eat apple pie one day for Dean's sake. Her eyes have lost that luster that she always had. They are now glossy and blank. Her hair is tangled and greasy. Her skin is shallow and pale. If I showed someone a picture they would think she was already dead.

The crying is difficult but the vacant staring is worse. For the first few days she sobbed nonstop. I didn't know the human body could cry that long. Her eyes became so swollen she could hardly keep them open. Karen held her head in her lap while changing out soothing cold water and ice masks. Then it changed. She still cries. No matter what she is doing there is almost at least one tear trickling out of her eyes and down her pale cheeks. But now she will just sit there and stare. Her eyes aren't focused on anything in particular and she doesn't' say anything or moves. She just stares.

It's just Jo, Karen, and me tonight. Bobby, Rick, and Luke are out trying to get information on how to save Dean. I was honestly hoping Lara wouldn't go to sleep until at least one of them got back but her body just collapsed. It's giving out around her.

I haven't even been able to mourn Dean's death myself yet. Lara is so consumed by it that I have stopped my own mourning to watch over her. Oddly it's the only thing keeping me sane right now. Only on the rare moments that she is asleep do I really have to think about it. Dean is dead. And it seems he might not be coming back. I am pretty sure last week Lara managed to escape and tried to make a deal to bring him back. Rick came back with Lara curled up in his arms muttering about how they won't deal with her. He gave me a look that said I won't be talking about this. If they won't deal with her I doubt they would deal with me. I haven't even had time to wrap my head around the idea that the reason Dean is dead is me. He made the deal for me. If Ruby was here she would slap me and tell me to grow a pair. Dean did what he did on his own and I didn't make him to anything. She would remind me that I have to stop being a little bitch if I want to save him. I miss her. No you can't think like that. Jo loves you. You love Jo. You want to marry her. The ring you have had in your pocket for two month says that. But a little voice inside of me that sounds suspiciously like Ruby says "Then why haven't you given it to her yet Sam?" Dammit I don't know.

"Sam?" Lara says quietly. I look down and she is curled into a small ball holding Dean's jacket to her. "Yes Lara?"

Lara sits up slowly and I see her eyes are still shut. "Sam, it's me." I stand up out of the bed and turn on the overhead light. "It's Ruby."

"Ruby?! How are you in Lara?" If Bobby was here he would kill her. I have to get her out of Lara and quickly before anyone finds out. Lara stands up and chuckles. "I know Sam. I thought I was gone for too. Lilith pushed me out and I was back in hell but I was able to fight my way out."

"Ruby? What are you talking about?" I am lost. Lara walks over to me swaying her hips and wraps her arms around me. "I know you missed me. Don't pretend you don't. I know I never told you what you meant to me before what happened but I think you know I liked you. When I was in hell I wished I had kissed you just once."

I push her off me and shake her slightly. "Lara, Ruby, whoever you are wake up. What is going on?" We had kissed, we had sex for Christ's sake what is she talking about.

"I know it's hard to understand Sam, but demons have feelings to. I was human once and what is left of humanity is screaming at me to make you mine." Lara starts to shake a bit and when she speaks next her voice is different. It's weaker and unsure of herself. "Stop it Ruby! You can't do this!" The panic on her face fades and is replaced with pure wrath. "Shut the fuck up six! I am doing what I have to do!"

The next thing I know Lara is pushing me down on the bed and crawling up over me. "I wish I had done this months ago Sam." Lara whispers into my ear as she kisses down my neck. I grab her face and flip her under me grabbing her hand and trapping her with my body.

"I know Sam, I know." She says out of breath. Then she starts to breath heavy and moan. Before I can figure out what is happening she is screaming out my name like we are fucking. The door to her bedroom flings open and Jo and Karen come crashing into the room.

"What the hell is happening in here Sam?!" Jo yells out looking at the sight in front of her. I look frantically down at Lara writhing beneath me yelling me name. But her face changes and the quieter, weaker girl, comes out again. "Please Sam see me! You're a hunter help me!" She begs me.

"Help!" I yell at the girls. They both look at me scared and confused. Lara starts to yell out and I know she just came and she goes quiet. I let go over hands and she drifts off. I get off the bed and walk over to Jo and Karen. There is a loud knock at the front door and we all jump. "What just happened?!" I asked them both.

We all look at Lara and stare for a moment before the knocking starts again. "I'll go see who that is. You guys just... well... watch her I guess." Karen says leaving the room.

Jo walks to the bed slowly and takes Lara in. "That wasn't Lara was it." She mummers quietly. I have no idea what that was.

Gabriel's POV

We always knew it would be like this. Doesn't make it easier. Castiel is in a fight for his life trying to save Dean for our girl and I can't be there for him. He has to do this. Lara is falling apart and losing it and I can't tell her about our plan in case he does fail. I can't get her hopes up to tell her in a few months that her Uncle Cas has failed and is dead and Dean is not coming back. So I comfort her when I can and stay out of sight when I have too.

When it gets to bad I will freeze everyone and appear to her. They don't leave her alone much which is a relief. I am afraid she would kill herself if they did. Just last week they weren't paying enough attention and she managed to escape and make it to cross roads demon. I made sure Rick got there in time and if not I was going to step in. But then the demon surprised me. She said she wouldn't deal with Lara or anyone else about Dean. That only can mean one thing. The demons know who Dean is. They know he is their righteous man and their key to unlocking their father, my brother, Lucifer.

"Oh Father please let Castiel be successful. I don't want my girl going through what will happen if he doesn't." I pray to my father. I don't want her to go through the apocalypse. To lose Sammy. Or even worse if Castiel truly fails and Dean never comes back she will never survive. Not even with the promise of new life in her.

I can see it. She is dying. Her soul is screaming out for its mate and her body is slowly falling apart. If we don't get a hold of him she will be dead of a broken heart in 7 months, 2 weeks, 3 days, 16 hours, 22 minutes, and 16 seconds. I can try to save her but if she doesn't want the help she will die.

Even though the others can't see me I have been with her every moment. She can see me though and I know it helps her. When she sits in a chair in a vacant stare I will stand next to her just petting her head trying to give her comfort.

Karen and Bobby have both prayed to me separately and asked for me. I have appeared before them and they both have begged me to find a way to save her. They see her slipping away as well. They know she dying but don't see the timer on her like I do. I have assured them I am doing all I can do.

Balthazar has been sitting this vigil with me. He spends his time patrolling the house. Lara asked him to watch over Dean and make sure he is safe. And just like any other time we are powerless in ignoring her wishes. I know Daphne pushed him to do this as well. He doesn't like to be separated from her this long but she made him swear to take care of Lara.

When they were just souls and in the temple they would talk about this day. I was allowed in the temple for the souls yet to be born in heaven. So was Michael, Balthazar, and Castiel because of our statuses. It always pissed Zachariah off that he wasn't allowed in there. God was always firm that no one was to access to the souls in case they would try to harness and abuse the great power that their souls are. But he made an exception for us. The bond between grace and soul is just too strong to separate. We would spend hours there with our charges, Dean, Lara, and Sam. Anytime I couldn't find Balthazar in the millennia before Lara was born I knew I would find him with Daphne curled up in his lap chatting away lazily. Even as she aged showing her grown up form instead of the childish one she favored for 1000's of years they would be found together like that.

Lara and Dean were rarely ever truly alone up there. They were usually flocked by their children and other souls that just liked their warmth. But on occasion they were and they would talk about this time. Dean would hold Lara to him and try to feed her soul all he had to offer. He would mutter little love nothings into her ear and promise to come back to her. The thought of being separated by hell would put Lara in a deep state of depression the few times they allowed themselves to think about it. I came in one night when the other souls were resting and Lara and Dean were in the garden together. The moonlight covering them in her soft glow. Lara was sobbing into Dean's chest while he linked their souls together. I could tell they were blending too much. A part of me knew I should stop it because they are too connected but I also know they would never listen even if I told them not too. In heaven then would weave their souls together until you couldn't tell whose was whose anymore. They are far to connected and a separation like this is a slow painful death for the soul that is left. Parts of her soul were ripped from her body when he died and chunks of his stayed with her. They didn't realize it but while they were in human form they have been linking themselves further. It was unconscious but their souls recognized each other instantly and started to blend again. I fear that if Castiel fails and my precious girl dies she will go to hell. Her soul is crying out for the missing pieces and it could act like a magnet pulling her to Dean. If she goes to hell I know that regardless of what my father will say Michael and Balthazar will fight with me to free her and Dean. "Oh father please let Castiel be successful." I pray out again.

Sam has been with Lara today. There is a part of me that will always love that boy. I have known his soul just as long as the others and he is truly is a good one but he is so easily mislead. I can see him starting to go down a dangerous path that I am helpless to stop. He will one day be lost to us until the end. "Sam." Lara calls out. I look up and make sure she looks ok. "Sam it's me." Well that is strange why would she say that. "It's Ruby." Oh no this can't be happening.

I run over to her and put my hands on her head and look inside her dreams. "MICHAEL!" I yell out. He appears in the room cloaked so Sam can't see us. "What is it brother?" He asks a timber of fear rippling through his voice.

"The lives have crossed. In that other world her body is being brought to Sam. They are crossing Michael." He freezes for a moment and his grace stills. He knows this is not good. We were only able to stop her nightmares from ripping her body to shreds by separating her mind from the other Lara's. We always knew if the lives over lapped it could be disastrous.

"Brother you and Balthazar must find a way to enter her life as a mortal so you can watch over her regardless of the mortals. I will stay with her but act quickly." Michael will always be my older brother. He can bring a sense of direction to any situation. Without him I know I would drift and turn into another Gabriel. I can almost sense the version of me breaking free sometimes. The need to wreck a little havoc and dole out my father's justice but then he comes around me and his grace calms me.

I take my vessel and like Michael asks I call out to Balthazar and he meets me outside the Singer's home in his vessel. "Brother Lara is in trouble. We must integrate ourselves with her and watch over her as mortals to help her." He shakes head in understanding and I knock on the door.

There is no sound on the other side and I give them a moment. Then I knock again pounding louder. I hear feet on the stairs and I recognize Karen's soul. She sees us through the window and I can see her sigh in relief. "Thank god!" She exclaims opening the door and bringing us in with a hug. "I will tell Sam and Jo that you are family friends that can help. I will handle them you help her."

We all rush up the stairs and I can hear Lara muttering. "Please Ruby just take me back. He is hurting we can't do this to him."

Her voice changes and it goes cold and a cruel. "Six I swear to Lucifer if you don't stop your sniveling I will destroy you and you will be stuck in a small corner of your mind for the rest of your pitiful existence."

Balthazar and I come charging through the room and move past Sam and Jo and quickly fall to our knees flanking Lara. I can see Michael and her head soothing her and trying to calm her down with his grace. "Who are these men Karen?" Sam yells out.

Karen walks into the room and grabs Sam's hand pulling him out of the room. "They are friends of the family and have known Lara for a long time. Bobby and I called them to help her. Come with me and let them try." Karen explains with Sam and Jo following her from the room.

"Please Lara wake up. You need to wake up." I whisper to her. Michael, Balthazar, and I keep soothing her with our graces trying to pull her from this trance. I know we have been here a long time because when we showed up it was dark and now it is sunny and we still haven't woken her yet. Finally her eye lids start to flutter open. Her eyes are unfocused and glossy at first but she finally focuses on me. "Uncle Gabriel?" She asks confused. She looks around and sees the others. "Balthazar, Michael why are you all here?"

I wipe her brow with my hand. "Darling your two paths have crossed. The Lara in that other universe has meet Sam and you were having a hard time breaking free. We helped you wake up." Lara doesn't say anything for a long time. I can tell she needs to process what I just told her and think of what she just saw.

"My journal?" She asks. I reach behind me and produce her dream journal that Dean got her. She scribbles out what she saw quickly and then hands to me to put back. "Will you all be staying?" She asks looking at us.

"Balthazar and I will be staying in our vessels with you from now on. Your Aunt has told them that we are old family friends here to help. Michael does not have a vessel to take but he will be here with you." I hope this can comfort her. It's all I can offer right now.

A/N Wow I am sorry I really let time get away from me. Sorry it took so long to post but I hope you all enjoyed it. Please leave a review if you have the chance.


	57. Chapter 57

Dean's POV

10 years. They claim I have been here a decade. I would believe any time they say though. I can't tell. Time ceases to matter here. How is that possible. Time used to rule me and now it just an intangible thing that has no meaning. It feels like an eternity without her though. Every slice through my skin seems to be dragged out hours past what a simple slice should take.

In the last 10 years or however long it has been I haven't left this rack. I have been tied up and killed over and over again. The creature, Alistair, is creative. Every time is different, each new trick more painful than the last. He physically hurts me but mentally destroys me. He may have found all my physical weakness and has made me weep in pain more times than I can count but he has found every single one of my mental weakness and exploits them daily. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that they figured out Lara was my weakness. My father once told me that Lara was my greatest weakness but because of that she was my strength and that I had to protect her. How can I protect her when I am dead and chained to this rack!

Oh Lara. I close my eyes. I can now. Alistair isn't here. It isn't quiet or peaceful but it is the most rest I can hope here. I can hear the souls around me screaming and begging for God. The heat is something I had prayed I would adjust too but I never have. Every time your body adjusts it seems to get hotter and more humid. It hurts to breath the acidic air. When I breath it my lungs feel like they are on fire but at least for this brief moment he isn't here. I can think of her. I bring what I can of her to my mind. She was so stunning. It's getting hard to remember her but I force myself to every time I can. I remember her dark raven hair that cascaded in waves down her back. Her pale skin that was so soft, just begging me to caress it. Her beautiful sapphire eyes that would twinkle with joy when I made her smile. They were slightly too big for her face and maybe on another woman it would be freakish but on her it just added to her beauty. Her pink pouty lips that just cried out for me to kiss them. The way her head would fall on to my chest when she needed a hug. Oh and her smell. I can still bring that spring day smell to my mind if I try hard. But it's getting harder. They have brought so many demonic versions of her into this room.

The demonic Lara's are easy to spot now. I can always spot the dark spot breaking through the illusion. Alistair as long ago stopped trying to trick me. Now he just does it to mentally break me down. Sometimes he'll have her torture me. Other times he will torture her. Sometimes he'll fuck her and sometimes he'll have her rape me. He knows I know it's not her but it still hurts to see her like this.

I sometimes wonder how I haven't disappeared. The pain of the torture is nothing like the constant ache in my chest. The constant agonizing pain that pulsates in me begging to be reconnected with Lara. I can see the chunks of my soul trying to rip out of their bindings to find her and it hurts worse than any torture Alistair could ever dream up.

The door opens and I tense for a minute. He's here. "Dean?" That's not his voice. "Ruby?" I call out. She enters the room and shuts the door quietly turning on the light. I see her for the first time with my new adjusted sight. She is a demon that is easy to see but she isn't as monstrous as the others down her. "You're not as ugly as I thought you would be. " I say blandly. It's true. She has some of the growths coming out of her head and her skin has a few sores but she looks fairly human. It actually looks like some of the sores are healing.

"Thank you Dean." She says with a slight blush on her cheeks Why is she acting like this. "I tried to get here sooner but I couldn't. I have been held captive and they just now trust me again." I can see she is marked like me. When I was topside I don't know if I would have noticed the mark. Now it's the first thing I see, who created them, who owns them. Most of the demons that come into this room have my same mark, Alistair's mark. Ruby's is different though. She must notice me looking at her arm and she looks down and frowns. "Lilith." It's all she needs to say. I know Lilith is the one who tied her down and tortured her like Alistair does me every fucking day. She broke her apart then rebuilt her to her will just like he hopes to do to me.

"Why are you here?" I hate playing games just get to the point. I don't have time for games anymore. Games just make it more confusing and hurt more.

Ruby looks the door to make sure it is closed. "I came here for Lara. I promised her I would look after you if it couldn't be stopped." The mention of her name sends ripples of pain through me. I see my soul trying to reach for it but is stopped by an invisible forces. Ruby hand shots out and touches just the tops of my soul. I try to recoil but I can't. "I never realized what you two were. Alistair has bound you here. You can't go to her like this Dean. But Dean you can get to her."

That gets my attention. I watch her warily. "If you give into Alistair you will be a demon and I can get you top side and you can be with her. I know she will take you back. Regardless of you being a demon you are soul mates. They can't take that away. Just give in Dean."

Always with trying to break me. Always trying to get me give in and become one of them. "I won't do that to her Ruby. I won't be brought back to her a demon." I've stuck to that mantra for a decade now and it's not going to break anytime soon. I won't be reunited with her as one of these putrid monsters that torture me every day. I know if it was reversed and she was down here she would never cave, never give in. She would stay strong and let them cut into her perfect flesh every day for the rest of eternity.

Ruby gives me a sad smile. "When I sold my soul to that witch and was brought down here I was in love. I loved him so much. At first I thought I would never cave. That I could never cut into someone like they do. But.." she stops for a moment and I can tell she is back on the rack, "we all cave. I wasn't fast enough though. By the time I made it top side he had been dead for 10 days. I wish I had given in faster. Even just a few days would have made the difference. Think about it Dean. You will cave at one point, we all do. Wouldn't you rather cave and see her again then cave a century from now and never hold her again?"

I won't cave. I refuse to cave. I am a hunter. I will not become a demon. Ruby leaves just as quietly as she came in. She leaves me with my thoughts. I can't think of if she is right. I can't let Lara see me has demon. I don't even know if I would have enough control to not hurt her. To become a demon I would have to give up what makes me well me. Even if I did resurface she would go to heaven when she dies and I would never see her again anyways. There is no way someone as perfect as her would end up in hell likes the rest of the people down here with me. No, I must stay strong.

Being here has activated a new group of senses in me. I can feel him in the hallway. Sure enough he comes through the door. "Miss me Dean?" He asks with a laugh. I don't respond and focus on the ceiling. He has a soul behind him sniveling like a coward on a leash. He drags to soul to the other rack in my cell and ties him up. "All you have to do to get off that rack Dean is agree to cut this man. He was truly evil in life. He used to molest little boys. He deserves everything he gets from what he did to those countless children. Come on Dean take me up on this offer and you can rest."

I don't respond. I stay quiet and refuse to even look at that man. I can't do it. He maybe evil but I can't be the one to punish him. "Your choice Dean. But if you change your mind let me know. I'll even keep him here in case." I know it won't matter I won't change my mind I hear his cart of tools being pushed into the room but again I don't acknowledge them. I hear the roar of a chain saw starting and I try not to flinch. Has the moving blades chop through my legs I start to scream.

Gabriel's POV

"We are losing her brother! We have to do something and soon. Daphne wants me to find a way to bring her to heaven until Dean is brought back. She thinks she will rest easier with her and the others in the temple for the souls. I'm beginning to think that's not such a bad idea. It's been a month since we got here and she is just getting worse." Balthazar is freaking out and rightly so. With the strain of these dreams on her body Lara's countdown is speeding up. What should have been 6 months, 2 weeks, 5 days, 12 hours, 8 minutes, and 45 seconds is now 2 months, 1 week, 3 days, 2 hours, 47 minutes, and 2 seconds. That is too close to Castiel's anticipated date.

"I know Balthazar. I know we are losing this battle but we cannot take her to heaven. That is not our father's plan. We must find a way to save her here." I try to stay calm but it's impossible. I need Michael. I can feel the urge in me to snap out and punish those responsible for Lara's predicament without care of caution of who it would hurt. But inside I know we have done all that we can. Balthazar scowls at me and I know it's more out of frustration then anger at me. His charge is on the brink of a nervous breakdown over this and I know he can feel it through their bond . I sometimes wonder if I should have listened to Zachariah and separated them more. They are too blended for charge and guardian to be good for either of them.

At first Jo, Sam, Rick, and Luke were hesitant about our introduction into their lives. But as time as gone on and Lara gets worse they have grown begrudgingly accustomed to us. We are the only ones who can bring her out of her spells. We have had to cut all contact between Lara and Sam minus text messaging. Even his voice on the phone will send her into a tailspin. Two days ago we allowed them to talk on the phone and she slipped. Her body stayed her and her mind went to that poor Lara in that horrible world where we are not there to protect her. Just a week ago I thought we lost her for good. It's the night we had to send Sam away.

_Lara is finally resting and she seems not to be connected with her other self yet. We try to catch her before she goes there but we can't always, we're lucky if we can 30 percent of the time. They are even connecting while she is awake now. Just two weeks ago Lara walked into the kitchen and Sam was making dinner and she went into one of her trances and started to talk like she was Ruby and they were in that other world. It is eerie to see her have these one sides conversations yet she thinks he's right there responding to her. The sounds she makes when Ruby and Sam are having sex in their world has been hurting Jo more and more. _

_ There's a light knock on the door and Bobby comes in. "How is she doing?" He asks quietly sitting on the bed next to her and looking over her body for new scratches or bruises. "She is stable right now." _

_ Like she knew we were talking about her she starts to moan. "oh god Sam. Just like that Sam. Right there! Oh God so close! Sam!" We both flinch at the sounds and just hope Jo hasn't heard it. Jo won't talk to Lara about how much it is hurting her and even if she did I don't know if Lara would be able to talk to her about it without slipping. Jo is a true friend to her. She knows Lara is being destroyed from the inside out and keeps her own pain to herself. I try to wake her up but she slips back into a quiet slumber. _

_ Before Bobby and I can do anything else Lara gets out of the bed slowly. I try to grab her but she pushes me off and keeps for her door. Bobby and I follow her hoping to get an idea of what she thinks she needs to do. We follow her into Sam's room, at this point we both start to worry. She shouldn't be near him right now. I try to stop her but she refuses to budge. She walks into his room and stops next to his bed looking down at him and ignoring Jo who is caught in his tight embrace. _

_ Sam and Jo wake with a start and I manage to stop Sam from punching her which is his first instinct as a hunter. She fondles around on his night stand and finds a knife and brings it up. I try to grab it from her but she flashes me her black eyes and stumble back startled. She's not truly a demon but her mind can't separate the two. She cuts her finger tip and drips her blood into Sam's lips. We watch her in stunned silence and follow her back to her bed. She gets under the covers and goes back to sleep. _

_ Not a moment later her eyes flicker open and she is sitting upright and screaming. "SAM! Oh my God where is Sam!" She screams out this time terrified herself. We hear a crash next door and soon enough Sam comes barreling through the door with a startled Jo behind him. "Lara what is wrong?" He asks running into the room next to the bed her crimson blood still dripping from his lips._

_ I can see Lara trying not to slip back into the other world but it is hard with him in the room. "She is... not now you can't... she is cutting... please Sam see me! I'm here she's in... me she's cutting my fingers... Sam you're stronger than this see me...bleeding in your mouth to make you hers... please Sam you have to see me!" Then she falls over losing herself completely to the other Lara._

_ "Please Sam you have to see me. I'm trapped in here!" She cries over and over again. "He'll never see you six. He is mine and he only sees me." Ruby laughs at her. Her voice changes to frequently now that when she is awake you can hear the strain on her vocal cords. _

_ I feel terrible knowing what I have to say next especially with how little good times Lara and Sam have left. "Sam I think you need to leave."_

_ "No! She needs me I can't." He responds angrily. I give him a sympathetic nod. "I know she needs you but seeing you right now, just hearing you, sends her back there. We need to cut her from that world and you are the main connection. I am sorry but until she is better you need to leave."  
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_ Jo wraps her broken arm around Sam's waist. "I know you don't want to leave her Sam but Gabriel is right. You can't help her right now. The best thing you can do for her is leave. We can go tonight and call her to see how she is doing." _

_ It's clear the Sam is beginning to see this is the best thing for her but I know it is killing him to agree to it. He is silent for a long time. No one says a thing just letting him mull it over. "Fine we will leave tonight. We should be looking for Lilith anyways." They both leave the room and over the next hour we can hear them packing and leaving. _

Without Sam being here things have been better. She hasn't slipped into her episodes while she is awake as much. She has also slept walk less. Doesn't mean she's better thought. Just last week a chunk of her collar bone went missing and she was bleeding like stuck pig. I had a hard time forcing my grace on her in that state but we finally stopped the bleeding and made sure it didn't scar.

Balthazar and I continue to sit our vigil and watch over her. I think once she wakes up I will talk to her about taking her to a safe house I have in the pacific ocean. It's an island I made that is warded from almost everything. It might be a safe place for her to heal while Michael continues to figure out what we can do to stop this.

"Daphne is worried she won't make it. If Castiel fails or is late by just a day she won't and you know what. We need to do something." Balthazar tries to stay calm but I can heard the panic in his voice. I let out a long sigh. "I know Balthazar trust me I know."

"Six will you shut up the fuck up in there? I don't care that you almost died." Oh not again. She's not strong enough for this anymore. Lara sits up and pushes past us and stands next to the bed. "Did you miss me Sam." She asks seductively in her Ruby voice.

Bruises appear on Lara's upper arms in the shape of Sam's fingers. We have learned it's almost impossible to cure her when she is in this state and as long as she isn't at risk of dying at the moment we will wait until she wakes up before we heal her. We have removed all the weapons from her reach even while she is awake now but I never thought of the pens. She grabs her journal pen dragging it down her forearms and throwing them up for Sammy to drink.

Her giggles are terrifying, so evil yet so innocent. An invisible force throws Lara on to the bed and she lets out a loud laugh as she rips off her clothes. "God Sam I have missed you so much." She calls out arching her back of the bed. I don't want to watch this but I have to. Just to make sure she isn't killed.

The moans fill the room and it makes me nauseous. Then she jumps up and gets on top of this imaginary Sam. She thrusts her bleeding arms over where his mouth would be. "Get him out of me! Stop it Sam you know better!" She screams out not in ecstasy but pain this time. Her sheets quickly fill with blood. I turn for a moment horrified at what I see but Balthazar's firm grip on my arm brings me back and I try to force my grace in her to stop the bleeding. It's obvious that the Sam in that world has fully lost it now. He is ripping her apart from the inside out.

Before our eyes large claw marks appear on her back. For a moment we are motionless. We can't believe what we are seeing. Three large set of claw marks are ripping through multiple layers of her skin with blood pouring out of her. Her blood curdling scream is what brings us to action. We are then up like a flash trying to get Lara on her stomach so we can see the damage. She is completely out. Whatever happened there was too much. We force our grace in her but the other world is to strong and as we heal her it reopens. We have almost completely forgotten about the vaginal bleeding because this is coming out like a waterfall.

The footsteps in the hallway finally make it to her door and Karen and Bobby come running in. "What is going on in here?" Bobby asks before he can see the bloody mess that his is niece on the bed. "Oh my god!" Karen screams out running to the bed to try and help.

"Do something quick!" Bobby yells. Balthazar and I keep trying to push our grace in but it's not stopping the bleeding. "MICHAEL!" I pray out hoping he comes quickly.

"Gabriel, what is... Lara!" Even he is frantic. The next few hours are the worse of my long existence. Bobby and Karen try to staunch the bleeding with her sheets while Balthazar, Michael, and I keep flooding her body with our grace trying to wake her up and heal her.

After countless hours she finally starts to come too. As she wakes up and takes control over her body our grace finally connects and heals her body fully, just not her mind. She comes to confused and wincing. "What happened?" Her voice cracking after screaming for so many hours.

We don't respond hoping she won't remember but I can see the memories making their way into her mind. Her eyes start to well and she sits up slowly looking at the mess around her. It looks like she was murdered in this bed. "My journal." She asks quietly. I grab it and hand it to her with her blood stained pen.

For a few minutes she just writes then she turns the page over. I am not looking at the journal but her back and don't notice that she is sobbing until her whole body is wracked with them. I put my arms around her while Karen jumps up to get her a tissue. "What is wrong my dear?" I ask her stupidly. What isn't wrong?

She holds the journal up to me. "It's done!" I must look confused because she falls into my chest clutching the journal. "I don't have any other pages and Dean isn't here to get me a new one. It's done. It's done... It's done...It's done...He's gone." She cries over and over again.

We should have seen this coming and planned for it. She knows he's gone but the last thing she needs is a reminder like this. I cradle her to me until she is just shaking and not sobbing. All of us surround her trying to give her any quiet comfort we can. "Darling Balthazar and I have been talking and I think we need to take you away from here for a bit."

Lara pushes herself away from me and shakes her head no. "I can't leave Uncle Gabriel. Dean is out back and my place is with him. Besides Luke and Rick said I could join them in trying to find Lilith so I can maybe get Dean back." She goes out there every day and tends his grave. It's quite beautiful actually.

"Darling you can't hunt right now. I am sorry to say but you are too unstable." She wants to fight me on it but she knows she can't. "Let me take you somewhere safe and we can try and fix this then you can join them." I try to reason with her.

It is silent for a few minutes and then Bobby chimes in. "Lara, I know you don't want to leave but for right now I think it is what is best for you. Gabriel thinks he can help you if he can separate you from any connection to that world for now so please go with him." He practically begs her.

Her face softens and she shakes her head slowly. "Fine I will go. But only if you bring him with us though. But once I can control it I get to go out and find that bitch and get him back." I shake my head in agreement and move to help her out of the bed. For the first time I see the bedroom fully. It is covered in blood. I can't allow her to soak all this in. I snap my fingers and it goes back to normal.

"Why don't you pack and we can leave." I tell her softly. Karen immediately starts to pull some of Lara's clothes together but Lara stops her. "No I will pack."

She moves around her room like a ghost picking up black pieces of clothes and shoving them in Dean's old duffel bag, a few of his old pieces of clothes making it in there. She puts on a pair of black jeans and a black tshirt and puts Dean's leather coat on over her shoulders. "I'm ready." She states. I grab her hand and Balthazar nods at me and we leave.

It only takes a moment and we are there. The air is warm and envelops us in comfort. Lara opens her eyes and takes in her surroundings. I built this island and house on earth to be a haven from the world. There will be plenty of times that we will need this haven this is just the first of many. The ocean breeze moves through the open windows and through the white sheers in front of all the windows.

"Where is he?" Is the first question she asks. I take her hand and guide her out the front door and take her to a beautiful spot out the front door. He's near the ocean so she will have something beautiful to look at while she sits with him. "He is right here dear. He is close by."

Lara slips down to the ground and moves her hands over the ground beneath her. "I'm here Dean. I won't ever leave you." She whispers to him. Balthazar moves back inside to open the rest of the windows and I move to the porch so she can have a private moment with him. A moment turns into hours and she still hasn't moved. She's sprawled out over his grave talking to him as if he is there and can answer her.

By the time the sun is starting to set Lara gets up slowly and moves back towards the house. Her eyes are red rimmed and her hands are shaking but I don't say a word about it. "I'm tired." Lara yawns out.

I guide her to a bedroom on the second floor I designed specifically for her. It faces the ocean therefore it faces Dean as well. The room itself has a large four poster bed with a mosquito net encircling it. The French doors that lead to the balcony are wide open to let in the fresh hair and the smell of flowers from the pots. "Rest dear. We will be right here."

She crawls into bed and is asleep in moments. She isn't resting enough. The timer to her death speed up again last night. Balthazar looks at me nervously. "We have to stop this or we will lose her." I shake my head in agreement we have too.

For a few hours she rests as peacefully as she can right now. We watch over and hope she doesn't have another episode. We notice tears breaking free from under her closed eyes. She doesn't scream out just cries. I brush out with my grace and see she is stuck in that world again. Balthazar tenses up once he realizes it as well. "Gabriel we have to wake her." I know this but I can't.

We worked so hard to clean up her back this morning but the longer she stays asleep the more damage reappears. The rip marks slowly reopening and oozing all blood down her back.

She finally wakes up. She sits up and her hand clutches her stomach. "She's pregnant Uncle Gabe. Sam got her pregnant." She states before passing out again.

Sam's POV

I know they were right when they said I had to leave her. Deep down and I know they are right BUT it doesn't make it feel any better. A part of me is kicking myself for leaving her. Dean we could kill me if he knew I wasn't taking care of her. The entire ride from the hotel to Lilith he made me swear up and down to him that I would take care of her. That I would make sure nothing got her and that she was provided for. He told me about how he talked to Adam about coming to find her a few months after his death and how I'm supposed to push her into that relationship. Stupid son of bitch couldn't see that she will never move on. But I agreed to everything regardless.

This morning my phone woke me up with a text. I saw Lara's name and opened it quickly. I am not even allowed to talk with her on the phone anymore. What I read on the text nearly floored me. "Sam I don't know how to say this but in that world you got my body pregnant." Of course Jo read it and she doesn't act angry about it but I know she is pissed.

Jo has been great about this entire thing. She hasn't yelled at me or Lara about any of this and I know it's been hard on her. She is hearing her best friend call her boyfriend's name out every night and doesn't yell or scream. I thought for sure this would be the last straw but it hasn't been. She just frowned and looked up at me. "It's not you Sam. I know that."

How can she be so trusting? I am glad she trusts me but I am also disgusted with myself. It could easily be me. Hell I have already slept with her so for all I know she is pregnant right now with some weird human/demon baby.

Knock Knock

That is strange. Only Jo knows that we're here and she has a key. She went out to get us some food. I grab a gun and I go to the door and look in the pep hole. There is a lovely young woman standing outside tapping her foot looking quite frustrated. I hold the gun behind the door and open it slowly. "Hello?" I ask hesitantly.

"Sam it's me. It's Ruby." the brunette responds. Well that nearly makes me drop my gun. "What?" I can hardly believe my eyes.

She looks behind her and pushes through the door knowingly stepping into a devils trap. "I don't have a lot of time. I just got out and I needed to make sure you were alright. I have seen Dean and he is not doing great."

"You saw Dean?" I ask leaning down to cut the trap. "Yes I saw him." She doesn't say anything else and nervously scratches her upper arm.

It shouldn't have taken this long to dawn on me. It's like Lara's dreams. Ruby came back to me. I grab her roughly and shove her against the wall. "What the hell are you doing here? And don't lie to me. Lara has seen what you plan on doing!"

Ruby's new eyes bulge out of her head. "What are you talking about? I wanted to let you know I saw Dean and try to bring him something to bring him strength." I give her a leery eye and take her in. "Don't give me that crap. Lara has seen you every night in that weird world she sees coming to me and feeding me blood. Hell getting her pregnant!"

"Well isn't that great! Lara has a bad dream and you stop trusting me. Hate to break it to you Sam but we aren't there and I'm not getting anyone pregnant. I saw Dean and he is hurting. I thought if I could bring him something of hers he would feel a bit better. Do you know how much I had to risk to get here to do that for him? How much I am risking just talking to you right now?!" Well now I've done it! She is pissed.

I sheepishly let her go and step back. "Look I'm sorry. Things have been tense. Lara has been slipping and her body is getting ripped to shreds. She's been breaking into my room at night and bleeding in my mouth and well we're all a mess." I try to explain to her what is happening but I know it's not making sense.

"Look I know I don't know what she sees or what you think you know but that person she sees isn't me. Besides I would never force you to drink my blood. If you want to you can. It will give you more power than you can ever imagine. You would have enough power to rip open hells door and get your brother and take down half of hell with it. But it would be your choice. I would never force you do something you don't want to do." She seems so sincere that now I feel bad for accusing her of anything.

I reach out and touch her arm softly. "What do you mean it would give me powers?" This is the first I have heard about this. She lets out a long sigh and sits down on the bed. "You were infected as a baby with Azazeal's blood. All it took was few drops decades ago and Lilith can't hurt you. Now as an adult if you consume more you would become very powerful. Just think if those few drops did that what a spoonful of my blood would do now. You'd have the demon blood added with your human soul and it would create something like no one has ever seen. That is what Azazeal wanted to do with you in the first place. Only he would have forced you to his will. I would never do that to you."

"I'm not drinking your blood." I respond quickly. She gives me a sweet smile and grabs my hand. "I'm not asking you too. I'm just telling you the facts. Now do you have a picture of her or something I could take back with me?"

How can a demon be so sweet? I dig through my bag and pull out a photo of Dean and Lara that I had. We don't have a lot of photos but I took that two summers ago when we visited them at the road house. I printed it out to give to Dean since he was hurting so much from the djinn but never had the heart to give it to him. How could they be so blind all these years? I hand it over and she puts it in her pocket. "I'll see you later. Stay safe." She stands on her toes and kisses me softly. I don't mean to but I grab her arms and push her against the wall and kiss her back. "You too." I respond and she's gone.

Before Jo can get back I quickly repaint the trap and make sure there are no signs of Ruby anywhere. What are you doing Winchester? You can't get mixed up with a demon. I hear the key go into the lock and I whip around to see Jo coming back with grocery bags. She kisses me as she passes by to the small kitchen. "You hungry?" She asks pulling the food out of the bag.

I smile and walk up behind her wrapping my arms around her thin waist pulling her into me and burying my face in her hair. "I am but not for food." Jo laughs and I spin her around and kiss her greedily. I pick her up and carry her to the bed and drop her down softly. Then I proceed to force myself to forget Ruby.

a/n sorry again for the long wait on the last one. I hope you guys like this new chapter and leave a review if you can. thanks!


	58. Chapter 58

Lara's POV

This constant retching has got to stop. I can't do it anymore. How the hell is she surviving it? Once all the contents of my stomach are emptied I can lay back against the cool tile walls of the bathroom. She was in control for awhile but halfway through puking our guts out I got my mind back but had to finish it out. She doesn't even understand what is happening to her. She is just a scared girl who never had a chance.

"Lara are you alright in there?" Balthazar asks from the door. I try to respond but I'm just to weak. It's too much and I drift off.

It was morning when I was last up and now it is late afternoon because the sun is no longer coming in through my window. I sit up slowly and wince at the soreness of my body. I'm not stupid. I know I am dying. They don't want me to know but I know. I can feel my body, my heart, my soul failing. I just want Dean.

Dean. I can't say his name easily anymore. When I say it my voice starts to crack and my lips start to tremble and it's not long before I am a sobbing mess. When I think it I can handle it better. Not saying it out loud not having to admit out loud what I have lost. I've lost everything and I'm never getting it back. I can feel the finality of it. How can I get into hell and get him out? The only way would be for him to become a demon and come back to me. But then what? I just prance off into the sunset with a demon? And even if that did happen how long would take it? Years, decades? Hell I might even be dead by the time he came back.

The scary thing is I know if he came to me a demon I would accept that. It might be hard to do but I would do it without thinking. I could jump into his borrowed arms and kiss his borrowed face and just feel content knowing some part of him is with me. I would hate myself for it every time his borrowed body manages to remind me it's possessed but I would deal with it because Dean would be back with me. I could handle him not being in his body, I can't handle not having him.

There's a knock at the door and it opens slowly. "Lara darling I brought you some food. Do you think you can eat?" I shrug has Uncle Gabe comes into the room and puts down a tray of food on my bed. It's neutral food. Just toast with butter, a side of carrot sticks, and a mug of hot tea. He knows not to bother with anything else right now. I grab the toast and nibble slightly. I can taste the sulfur on it. I know it's not there but every time I eat or drink I think about how Dean isn't eating or drinking and I can taste hell on it. I try to push down the disgust and just eat it.

"You seemed a bit better today." Uncle Gabe says cheerily. He is always trying to cheer me up. I smile weakly and try to swallow the little bit of toast in my mouth. "It's easier now. She's back in her cell and not with Ruby or Sam. I just connect with her and it's not so bad."

Uncle Gabe gives me a fake smile but I know he doesn't think it's not so bad. Every time I connect with her my body changes. The wounds on my back open up and scab over, my stomach starts to turn queasy, my breasts turn sore, the morning sickness takes over. But it's better than seeing my best friend having sex with a demon and ingesting her blood. It breaks my heart how confused she is. She doesn't understand what is happening to her body and no one is telling her. She thinks she dying and that they are going to take her out back soon to kill her. She doesn't understand why they are allowing her to eat and even put a mattress in her cell. She just thinks it's a trick to make her more comfortable before they snap her neck and throw away her body.

"I know I'm dying Uncle Gabe you guys don't have to hide it anymore." I must shock him because he doesn't respond for a moment. Next thing I know he is holding me in his arms and rocking me back and forth.

We sit like that for a long time. I know I am crying but I don't care. "I used to hold you like this when you were a baby." He says quietly. I look up at him and see he is crying. "Your mother and father may not have understood what we had and I can say I scared them on numerous occasions but they knew not to separate us. Sometimes I wish you were just that little baby again and I could protect you from all this. But you are all grown up. A grown woman with a mind and heart of her own and there is nothing I can do to protect you from this."

"You have done all you can Uncle Gabe. I wish I could lie and tell you that I will hang on and fight it but to be honest I don't want too. I can't live like this. It hurts so much and I just can't do it." He can't comprehend the pain I am in. If he knew he wouldn't be trying to keep me alive.

"This isn't what Dean would want for you Lara." I glare at him. How dare he mention what Dean would want for me. "Don't give me that look. You know he would want you to live for him. So can you try that? Just for a few days." I don't respond and move out of his arms. He used Dean against me.

The air in the room changes and Michael appears. He gives me a slight smile and looks up at Uncle Gabriel. "I think I found a solution." He exclaims proudly. I look between them waiting to hear what this solution too.

Uncle Gabe jumps up and hugs his brother. "I knew you would figure something out. What do we do?" Michael sits down on the bed next to me and grabs my hand. "Lara you know that you should not be connected to her like that. I have a way to separate you two. I managed it once but I was always worried if your paths crossed at all it would send you into a tailspin. Which is exactly what happened. You're paths crossing with Sam has confused your souls and you can't control it. So I have a way to stop it. I need you to let one of us in you and we are going to find the connections between your souls and snip them. They shouldn't be there to begin with."

I take in what he has to say. It's hard to comprehend. "I want to have final say over any connection you snip." I am not going to let them mess around with what makes me, well me without having final say. Uncle Gabe grabs my hands. "Of course dear. That seems fair."

"I want Uncle Gabe to do it." I don't mean to hurt Michael I just don't know him as well. He doesn't seem hurt by it though and shakes his head in agreement. The door opens to my bedroom opens once again and Balthazar comes in this time. Michael looks at him and smiles softly. "Brother, Gabriel and I got this. Why don't you head to heaven for a while." I can tell there is something else behind that. Balthazar has been anxious lately and I have heard him whispering with my Uncle a lot since we got here. Balthazar's face lights up and he leaves without a second thought.

Then both of their attentions are back on me. Michael positions me comfortably on the bed and runs a hand over my forehead. "You need to allow Gabriel in dear."

I sigh and look at my uncle. "Gabriel I allow you into my body." I have only been possessed once by Azazael and I hated how it felt. I know my uncle won't be anything like that though. It only takes a moment and I feel my whole body overwhelmed by his grace.

When your possessed usually your mind sends you somewhere safe. For the other version of me that is so frequently possessed its usually her cell. It breaks my heart to think that a cell is her happy place but it's the most peaceful spot in her life. That last time Michael broke my connection with her it didn't separate us completely it just made it easier for me to realize it was her life and not mine. I would see it but my body wouldn't react to it like it had been. My safe and happy place is a bit of surprise but it really shouldn't be, it's the impala. I can smell Dean in it even if he isn't here.

I hear a chuckle and I turn around to see Uncle Gabriel. "Of course this would be where you go." He chimes in from the back seat. I roll my eyes in the rear view mirror and he just chuckles. "I need you to imagine her darling so I can see how you are connected."

This part is difficult. I know what she looks like, she looks like me. But she is so different. She is broken and abused. Just a shade of the girl she can be. Her body is worn out and used and her mind is fragile yet she is strong. So strong it scares me. Could I survive that? I doubt it. I've been free to long to survive something like that and still have her kindness. I've seen her with the newbies to the body farm. She tries to comfort them even if they are angry and violent towards her.

I imagine her like I just last saw her a few hours ago. She is my height but she slumps over a bit trying to hold herself together, make herself even smaller. Her hair is greasy and uncombed and her back is caked with blood. The parts of our souls that connect us start to appear between us. Her eyes grow large with fear and I try to comfort her. "It's ok Lara. This isn't real you are sleeping."

The girl looks up at me with a confused smile. "Thank you." She says softly. I get out of impala and give her a slight hug. "For what?" I ask.

"For calling me Lara and not six." I take a step back and smile at her. "You are Lara and never forget that." She smiles and Uncle Gabriel stands next to me looking at the connections. I don't know if the other Lara is actually here or if she is just a figment of my imagination but in case she is real I want her to have a few moments to relax.

"Why don't you rest for a while. The baby needs it." I tell her softly while escorting her to the impala and helping her lay down in the backseat. "Baby?" She asks me with a confusion clouding her big blue eyes, my big blue eyes.

"Yes Lara, baby. I know they haven't explained to you what is happening but you are pregnant. That is why you need to rest." Her hands flutter to her stomach and her face softens a bit. She doesn't fight me about getting into the car, I guess years of following orders make this easy. She is quickly sound asleep in the back seat. "Do you what you need to." I tell my uncle.

I watch him inspecting each connection and making a slice with his angel blade. I feel the connection with her start to fade. I feel guilty. If she can handle it I should be able too. "Lara you're not meant to handle her pain as well. You have your own life to handle." Uncle Gabe tells me knowing what I am thinking by the worried expression on my face.

We've been here awhile now and I have watched him lift up and inspect each part of our souls carefully and make the smallest cut possible separating it from other parts of ourselves. There is only one left and I already feel a great relief. My back no longer aches and I don't feel the same morning sickness I felt. He picks up the last one and tugs on it gently. The tug pulls right into my chest and I cry out. "No! Not that one." I scream.

Uncle Gabe's face pales and he drops it and puts his arm around me. "What is wrong?" He asks frantically. I wait for my heart to stop pounding. "That one is connected with Dean. You can't cut it." I should have known. Dean is so ingrained in every part of my life. That is the part he was pulled into. He knows about these dreams and he helped me with them.

"Dear I need to or you can be ruled by them." He begs. I shake my head no. "I would rather never wake up and be completely connected with her then have you cut one connection I have to Dean."

"Please Lara, I don't want you to hurt anymore. She is killing you." He pleads with me. I refuse to budge on this. "You will kill me if you cut that connection." I firmly state.

I can tell he isn't happy with my decision but he respects it. He leaves and I watch over her a minute longer until I come to on my bed. "You are only connected to her through that one thread Lara. You need to work to not fall into it though. Her life is hers to deal with. You have your own trials and tribulations." My uncle tells me has I wake up.

"I will try." I know I am lying.

"No Lara you must." He states has he leaves me alone with my thoughts. I lay in bed for a bit longer just thinking. I feel so lost and empty. My chest feels empty and my soul is so lonely. My heart aches constantly and my brain has shut off unable to deal with the loss. I know I can't live without him but I can live long enough to get my revenge.

I get out of bed with a new found vigor and dig through my closet. I pull on a black tshirt and jeans and head downstairs to the kitchen where Uncle Gabriel and Michael are talking. They both look up at me and wait for me to talk. "I want her dead."

"Who dear?" Uncle Gabe asks. I smirk. "I won't stop until Lilith is dead. She took Dean from me and I will take her life. I want to go home and raise a little hell." The both smile at me happy to see me doing more than cry I assume.

"We can do that." Michael responds. I know I don't need to pack just like I know they will bring Dean with me. Before I can ask I am back in my aunt and uncles kitchen. I have been gone a month. They must be asleep because I see the clock says 1:00 am and it is quiet. I see my stuff in a duffel on the kitchen counter.

Before I can do anything I head out to Dean's grave. I stop on top of it kneel down resting my hand over where I know he is. I can feel his body down there. They brought him back. "I won't rest until she is dead for what she did to you Dean. I love you." I jump up and head back to the house and quickly dial Rick. He picks up after a few rings. "Hey chickadee how are you?"

"I want back in. I have some revenge to dish out." He tells me where to meet and I know in a few days I will be out there doing what I need to do to rest again. Dean's baby will be back where she belongs as well, the open road.

Sam and Jo prodded me for days when Dean died about one of his last gifts for me. They wanted me to watch whatever was on the dvd he left for me but it's been too hard. Regardless of what is on that dvd it was will be the last new thing I will ever have from Dean. Anything after that point will be re read, re watched, re worn. Nothing will be new and a surprise. Everyone figured I would rush to watch it. I do wear his amulet, his jacket, his mothers engagement ring, and drive the impala but that to me this was his last gift. He says it will explain how he feels about me. I know he loved me but a part of me is terrified that it might have all been a rouse and this is his way to let me down easy. But if I am going to dedicate my life to killing the bitch that took him from me I might as well know what it was he really felt about me. We only had one night that I was honest with how I felt about him. I need to know what he was feeling while we were hiding our true feelings from each other.

I head to my room and get the dvd that has been sitting next to my bed for over two months now. It's just a blank dvd. There is nothing on it to give away what I am about to see. I turn on my dvd player and put it in and hit play.

The screen is dark for a moment then I see Dean shot up straight in bed breathing heavy. It's the middle of the night and room is dark minus the light coming in from the light post outside the bedroom he is in. It's raining outside because I can hear the pitter patter of drops on the screen. His breathing regulates and the camera moves has he looks down in the bed next to him.

What the fuck Dean? Why did you send me a dvd of you sleeping with some woman. He looks down at her confused and lifts up the sheet probably checking out the obviously naked girls ass. Like I expected he smirks. Is this some kind of joke? Cause I gotta say I'm not laughing, fuming is more like it. I asked him when he left me behind at that hotel if he lied about how he felt so he could drug me and he said that he did love me. Maybe it was all a lie and now after death he can tell me the truth. My eyes are swelling but I will give it a few more minutes. See if it makes sense.

The Dean on the screen pulls up a pair of sleep pants then leaves the bedroom and walks quickly through a hallway and down the stairs. The camera takes in his clothes strewn about. His leather jacket on the chair, his keys in a bowl by the door, his boots next to the sofa. What the hell is this and who the fuck is filming? He grabs his phone off the kitchen island where it was charging and dials.

I can hear the phone ringing then Sam's tired voice answering it. "Dean? Are you alright? It's 3 in the morning." I wait to see what Dean says. "Um Sam where are you? What the hell happened?" He asks confused. It doesn't sounds quite like Dean though. It's not as hard as his normal voice. "Is that Jo?" He asks to the obvious sound of a woman on the other line.

"Are you drunk Dean? Who the hell is Jo? I am at home. Is child bride there?" He asks and I can hear the concern in his voice. How does he not know who Jo is? And who the hell is child bride.

"Who?" Well I guess Dean is just as confused as I am.

"Dean put Lara on the phone." Sam orders Dean through the phone. Get me? I'm not there. I would have remembered this. "Dean I am serious get Lara." He demands more forcefully. Dean's voice is awash with confusion. But I look closer. It doesn't look exactly like him. It's more like Jensen. Just small subtle differences that separate them.

There is a sound on the stairs and the camera whips around to show me coming down the stairs holding a dark blue silk robe around my body moving the hair out of my face while yawning. "Dean?" I ask.

Then the screen cuts into the words SUPERNATURAL going across the screen. What the fuck? It starts to go through the actors names we meet at the other world. This is an episode from that TV show. Why did he want me to see this? How did he get it here?

The next two hours I spend with all of my focus on the TV. I watch them and try to figure out how this is a part of the show. Is it in the future? No that can't be because Jess is there. And it can't be the past because we know from our time there that Lara and Dean aren't together on their show. I watch them learn they are having twins and make love. I can't stop watching how they interact together. How they make a nursery for their twins and interact with everyone around them. They, we, are just so happy.

There is a lot I don't understand like when the Lara on the screen said her parents were Bobby and Karen and that they died or that John died in a car crash but his mom is still alive. It's confusing but terribly amazing to watch. I can see how we fit together and how wonderful our lives would have been. I'm pretty sure I have cried almost the whole time but I can't worry about that right now.

Near the end the filming gets a little grainy and confusing. It keeps breaking between the happy pregnant me and the angry hunter me and I am screaming. "Come on Dean just try! Don't do this to me! Don't you give up! I need you to come back!"

I watch Dean tell Lara how he loves her but has to get back Lara. I am amazed when he stabs himself in the heart and wakes up with me in our world. Wait a minute. This I remember. THIS WAS THE DJINN! He was with me the entire time. I was his perfect woman that he hated leaving. That morning that he touched me and told me he thought I was his wife he actually thought I was his wife. He loves me... no he loved me. He truly did. I was his biggest fantasy come alive.

I move onto the next episode and I'm hardly able to see the tv through my tears. I watch the morning that he woke me up touching me only they make it a bit more PG. But then I see things I never saw. I see him telling Sam I am the reason he came back. I see him tell a waitress what my order is then realize I am not there. I see him open car doors for me to realize I'm not there. I see him dream about me and wake up heart broken. I even see him trying to buy baby clothes with Sam and his soul crushing response when he realizes I am not there and that wasn't real.

This is what he wanted me to know. He wanted me to know that he loves me more than anything and that just like my parents and his parents we are soul mates. We are meant to be together everywhere.

Lilth must die.

a/n sorry for the delay and I hope you like this one! I will get a new one as fast as I can! Sorry I don't have time to respond to everyone's pms and reviews I got to post this and head out. But thank you for all your reviews and let me know what you think of this new chapter.


	59. Chapter 59

Dean's POV

I can't do this any longer. I just want to disappear. I feel terrible even thinking this but I don't know if I could have made that deal if I knew this is what would have happened to me. Day after day year after year decade after decade of torture. I just want to fold but I can't. I won't let him win and I won't become a demon. I would rather get sliced into everyday then tell Lara that I failed.

Alistair has a very specific feel to him. I can feel him walking towards me. Maybe it's the mark he gave me or maybe it is me finally assimilating to hell. "Good day Dean. You ready to cave yet? All you have to do to get off that rack is to knick one little soul. The souls down here aren't good people Dean. They are sick twisted souls that deserve this."

A long time ago Ruby managed to come see me again. She brought a picture of Lara and I together. It was taken the summer before I gave up my soul while she was living and working at the Roadhouse. I had my arm around her and I was smirking and she was leaning into me laughing. It helps. I have it wedged under the table I am strapped too. I am surprised that Alistair hasn't found it but I guess why would he even look for it. I could easily cut into a soul and get off this rack but how would I explain myself to her?

"Well I brought someone special for you today Dean." Alistair chuckles out. He snaps to the door and someone else enters. You have got to be fucking kidding me! "MATTHEW!" I growl out. He cowers into the room and quickly stops at Alistair's side.

"So how is hell Matt? Everything you ever wanted?" I sarcastically shout at him. He looks up to Alistair for permission to speak and he nods. "Not quite but it will be."

For the first time since I have gotten here Alistair walks over to me and unlocks my shackles. He doesn't say anything just leaves a knife on the table and leaves the room. "So what are you supposed to come in here and tell me how great it will be if I cave. About all the wonders that life will have for me if I just do what they want."

Matt lets out a chuckle. "No, not quite. I asked to come." I give him a questioning look as I roll my wrists and stretch out my arms and legs. "I wanted to see you and see if you ever got a piece of the sweet ass you had with you when we were topside."

I can feel the rage building in my but I don't want to respond. "Man what I wouldn't do to get topside for a day and just fuck her until she couldn't move. Find her at home in her bed. Grab her when she wasn't expecting it and just plunge in and out of her over and over again."

"I would shut up if I were you!" I yell at him. He just chuckles. "Let me tell you Dean for those few moments when my dick was in between her soft lips and sunk deep into her warm mouth I could imagine doing that for eternity. Maybe I'll even ask Alistair to find a way to get her down her so I can do just that."

Before I can stop myself I pick up the knife and rush him. My mind stops thinking and I just sink the blade into his gut. "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

"I can imagine it Dean. Her at first begging for mercy but me fucking her until she is crazy and begging for it. Plunging herself on me and splitting herself open all the while she is moaning like a whore." I take the blade out of his stomach and cut his throat to shut him up.

I realize what I have done and I drop the blade and stumble back. I caved. I cut up a soul. He deserved it. He deserves more than what I did. But I did it. I did what Alistair has been asking for months. Clap, Clap, Clap, I turn around and see Alistair clapping at the door. "Good work Dean. Broke faster than I thought. I could bring him back if you want." He says with a chuckle. I look down at his dead body and see it slowly heal and soon he is standing up in front of me again.

This seems to go on for months. Alistair bring in Matthew and he just talks and talks until I cave. Sometimes it takes minutes to cave others takes weeks. He just goes on and on about everything he is going to do to Lara and how much he is going to like and even worse how much she will grow to love it. I just have to make him shut up. I have to stop that voice.

With a slice to his throat he stops talking and it's gargling. With a pair of pliers I can pull out his tongue and he can't say a word about her but I don't kill him. With a single sewing needle I can sew this god damned mouth shut and when his eyes don't stop following me I can sew them shut too.

It progresses. I can hack off a leg with a machete and he's not nearly has cocky with one leg. When he gets really bad I might shove a drill into his gut and watch his stomach spin around the power tool. There are so many ways to make him shut up and I have found them all.

Only for him though. He's the only one I touch. Alistair has brought in more but only Matthew deserves or warrants my wrath. None of the other poor saps down here have done anything to me personally but Matthew he did. He touched Lara. He touched what was mine.

One up side, I'm not tied down all the time now. It's refreshing to have a bit of freedom. It feels nice to stretch and move around the room. I guess it just my mind playing tricks on me though. I'm a soul how can it feel good to stretch? Who knows but it does. I pull out the picture of Lara whenever I dare and will sit in the corner just staring at her face when I have a break , which is more often now. God what I wouldn't give to hold her for just a minute. She is probably married with children by now, hell maybe even grandchildren.

The thought of Lara marrying someone who isn't me breaks my heart but I am glad to. I don't want her to be alone. Maybe it was Adam. I told him what he needed to do to break her down. Yes I like to think that maybe he did convince her that I said it was alright and that I wanted her to be happy with him. I can see them getting married and the proud look on Bobby's face as he gave her away to Adam at the end of the aisle. And since Sam is such a little bitch I can see him crying as he hands Lara her ring to slip over Adam's finger. Adam gets Lara a really nice ring. It's not sentimental like mine but it is bigger and flashier. More than I could ever afford for her. It's a little too big for her finger but she works it and looks stunning walking down that aisle in all white.

It's hard to imagine but it makes me happy to think about her being happy. They probably buy a house near Bobby's and Karen's but then again maybe Adam wants to stay near his mom and where his life is. Yeah that is probably right. They buy a home down the street from his mom. It's a cute two story home. Upstairs is their master bedroom and a home office for Adam since he probably has a responsible job and a spare room. In time Lara gets pregnant and they are both so happy. Of course when they call Sam he drops everything and drives over and talks to her stomach like some kind of mental fool but he looks so happy doing it.

I can just see Lara sitting in the window seat of their living room rubbing her stomach and talking to her baby. It was a hard battle but she convinces Adam to let her name the baby Dean. He was worried that Lara was still in love with me and just humoring him but she kissed him real softly and grabbed his hand and brought it to her heart. "I love you Adam. You have all of me but a part of me will always care for Dean. Let me honor him as my best friend and your brother and name our first born after him." Adam caves quickly after that.

Little baby Dean is adorable and looks so much like Lara. He is smart too, learns to walk early and even says mama a month earlier than most kids. I guess by now he would be a grown up too. Lara would be older now. Maybe even a grandmother by now. She probably only thinks of me a few times a year after all this time. The normal time at Christmas when Sammy is over with Jo and their kids or on my birthday. She's found a way to adjust to her life and she's happy.

Even if I could break out I wouldn't want to ruin that happiness for her. What would I do? What would I say? Hey I know I've been dead for 40 years and you are now married with a child with my younger brother no less but do you want to blow this popsicle stand and hit the road together? No I couldn't do that. If I got out I would just look in her window once and make sure she is happy. Then I would leave and start off where I left off on hunting and hope I never run into someone who knew me.

There's a loud commotion that breaks me from my thoughts. There are a lot of loud commotions down here all day every day but this one is different. It feels, this is going to sound crazy, but it feels good. I feel a breath of fresh air.

The door to my cell is blown away and a burst of bright white light enters the room with a blow of the wind. I try to stand up and face this newcomer but I am so blown away by the feeling that I can't find my feet to stand. "Dean, Dean Winchester?" The light looks at me and says. I can see a figure start to form in the light. I shake my head yes not sure what else to do. The figure smiles at me softly and crosses the room and kneels down in front of me and caresses the side of my face with it's cool touch. "Squirt sent me. It's time to go home."

"Squirt?!" I stutter out. The figure chuckles. "Yes your squirt, Lara, asked me to come get you. It's time to leave. I have searched long and hard for you Dean. "

Before I can respond Alistair is in the room. I should have sensed him but the feeling of this new creature has overwhelmed my senses and I didn't sense him. "He is mine Angel. He will not be going anywhere with you!" He snarls out. I look at the new creature with a set of clear eyes. An angel? That isn't possible. There is no way that angels exists... right?

The creature, I guess an angel, flares out just enough to show it means business. "Dean's soul belongs to no one but Lara you fool. You may have reaped him but he is not yours." The angel doesn't need to scream or shout to get his point across. I can tell he means business with the calm cadence of his voice.

Alistair begins to chuckle. "You think I care that some whore top side thinks this meat suit is her soul mate. He is mine angel and I worked hard for him. Now get out of here before I make you mine as well and you aren't allowed back into heaven. "

"Then why have you used every trick you know to bind his soul to this cell?" Alistair doesn't respond at first. "Get out the fuck out of here." He says with a low growl.

"Not without the righteous man." The angel retorts. Alistair laughs again. "You are too late. He is not righteous any longer. He did what he was meant to and now he belongs to me. The mark on his arm proves as much." I am lost in this conversation I don't even know where to begin.

"The mark you say?" The angel says with a smirk. Alistair shakes his head. The angel reaches back and grabs the top of my arm and brings me to him. I feel a burning sensation in my arm and I start to scream out. The angel gives me a apologetic smile and when he drops his hand I see his hand print burned over Alistair's mark on my arm. "Now he is mine." And before Alistair can respond he grabs my arm and shoots off and up. For a moment I feel the angel falter and I am worried he is hurt and we will plummet back into hell but we don't.

The accession from hell is disorienting and uncomfortable but the angel holds me tight and climbs higher and higher. When we stop I can see we are in a field but I am still just a soul. "Did squirt really send you?" I ask him.

The angel smiles and shakes his head. "Yes amongst others but it is my love I bore her that I found the will to crawl through hell to free you. "

"Who are you? Why do you care about Lara?" I ask him. The angel laughs softly then starts to cough. "My name is Castiel and you have so many questions. I promise once you return you will have answers to them all." The angel starts to stumble forward and I run to catch him. I can see now that he was hurt. Alistair got his claws into his back and it oozing. It's starting to spread through his back. I can see the black gunk slowing gaining ground on his grace.

"You are hurt!" I shout out. He shakes his head. "I will worry on that later. Now I must return you to your body. Good bye Dean. I will see you soon." With that he touches my forehead and I feel my soul moving quickly and it slams into a hard object. Then it goes black.

When I come to again it is black and it is hot. Are you fucking kidding me? All of this was fake? Just a big joke and I am in hell. I let out a growl of frustration and kick out my limbs to find them hit something close by. What the fuck. I hit them out again and I meet resistance. Where the hell am I? I kick out and this time I pay attention it sounds like wood. I am in a coffin aren't I? This has got to be a fucking joke!

I start to kick out and fight against the wood. With a lot of effort and a little time I manage to break myself through the wood of the coffin and I am struggling against the dirt to make it to surface. By the time my hand reaches the day light I am scratching through the earth to get a fresh breath of air. I crawl out of the grave and pull myself to the side and roll over just looking to the sky and breathing in deeply. I try to think of how I got here and everything is a blur. I remember hell. I remember a fight of some sort it's like my brain is blocking me from the actual event. I try to piece it together but I can't. I will have to worry about that later.

Before long I know I need to move. I roll over and push myself up and take in my surroundings. I can see Bobby and Karen's house just a short distance from me then I look down and everything is dead around me. It looks like a mini nuclear bomb went off just right here. I guess life pays for life. I need to get out of here.

I start to run to the house when I realize that Bobby and Karen might not be living here. It's been 40 years they could be dead or moved somewhere else to be with Lara. I'll just look in the window and see if I recognize anyone and then figure out what to do. Even then I don't want them to tell Lara if she is happily married or something.

For the first time I approach the house cautiously. This has been the only home I have known since my mom died and I usually just barge in but not this time. I need to be careful. I can't risk ruining whatever life Lara has now.

No one is on the first floor when I first look in so I wait a bit. The house still looks like same so maybe they still live here. I keep looking into the window until the first person appears. Bobby? Seriously he doesn't look like he has aged at all. He turns around and I am not fast enough before he catches me. His jaw just drops and he doesn't move for a minute and neither do I. I decide that he's already seen me so what else could happen.

We both move to the front door at the same time and he opens it has I push the door in. Before I can start to explain he grabs me in to the house and throws me on to a devils trap. "Karen! Sam! Jo! Get your asses down here!" He yells up the stairs. "CHRISTO!" He yells at me and of course I don't flinch.

They all come running down the stairs and all stop to stare at me. One by one they look me over and start to test me. I feel like I have been tested for hours before Sam pulls me into a tight bear hug. "Dean it's really you. How did you get back?" He asks crying into my shoulder. Bobby patiently waits his turn and finally gives up and grabs me into a hug to be soon followed by Karen.

I start to think back to my rescue and it is to jumbled for me to think through right now. Its coming together more than before but it still in pieces. "Where is Lara?" Is all I can ask. They all pull back and give each other looks. "I don't know how long I have been gone. I thought it was 40 years and I already accepted that she had gotten married and moved on. If she is happy with someone please don't let her know I am back. I want her to be happy." I tell them.

Again they all look between each other. Finally Karen steps forward and grabs my hand. "Dean Lara hasn't dealt with your death that well. You said you thought you were gone 40 years but to us it's only been 4 months. Trust me when I say she has not moved on and is not happy..."

"More like lost her god damned mind." Sam mutters under his breath. I pivot quickly and pin him against the wall. "I told you to watch after her and make sure she is safe. What do you mean she has lost her mind?!" I yell at him.

Jo grabs my arm. "Dean it was not that easy. Lara and Sam couldn't even talk on the phone let alone be in the same house. He couldn't watch over her."

"What the fuck is going on?!" I yell at them all. It takes awhile but Bobby explains to me how Lara didn't handle my death well at all and even slept on my grave a few nights. Then went into how she was connecting with her other self and what happened with her and Sam. I was shocked to say the least and can't wait to see her and make sure she is alright. "Where is she now? I need to see her."

Bobby and Karen exchange glances and Bobby takes a deep breath. "Two months ago Lara came home and was ready to kick some ass. She wanted to dole out some vengeance and get you home. She went with Luke and Rick and has been a nonstop hunting machine. In just two months she has exorcised 10 demons, killed 4 were wolves, salt and burned 12 ghosts, pretty sure stopped 3 shape shifters, a lady in white, and even killed a succubus. She has been a machine. Rick and Luke have been telling me what she driving herself to exhaustion and they are concerned. She has become one of the most deadly hunters out there and already has a reputation. She is doing it all to find you and get you back but she has changed Dean. She isn't the same girl you left behind. She is different. I worry about her but this is better than the constant crying she was doing before she went hunting."

"I need to see her. Please where is she." I plead with them. If I have done this to her then I can fix it. I can be here and not leave her ever again.

Once again they all share a glance. Bobby goes to speak but Karen grabs his arm. "I don't know Dean. We don't know how you came back and I don't want to risk telling Lara you are here if you are just going to go back to hell in a few days. You don't understand what she was like. I can't do it to her." I look to Bobby hoping he will say something different.

Bobby looks at the ground and I can see him thinking while he pulls on his beard. "She's right Dean. You don't understand what she was like at first. I was debating having her committed to a home for bit and honestly if her body wasn't ripping itself open every time she went to sleep I might have but if you go back to hell she will not survive it."

"What she is doing now isn't surviving!" Sam yells at them all. I pivot quickly and he stomps his foot and throws his hands up in the air. "She is merely going through the motions. I know that she would prefer him for two minutes than not at all. So if he goes back to hell or disappears or whatever we'll deal with it. We'll commit her or whatever you think will work but she should have whatever small time she has."

Jo grabs on to his Sam's arm. "I agree. She should know about this and make up her own mind. If she finds out he was back and we didn't call him she will kill us all. And to be honest I don't think I am joking about that. She will kill us."

Bobby and Karen exchange another set of looks and Bobby just lets out a long sigh. "Fuck it. I'll call Balthazar and see how fast he can get her here." He tells us all. I look to Sam. "Who is Balthazar? I thought you said she hasn't meet anyone."

"He is just a hunter Dean. Him and another one Gabriel showed up a few months ago when she was at her worst. They really helped. He must have gone off with her and Rick and Luke. " Sam explains and I start to calm down. I really can accept if she moved on, doesn't mean it won't kill me but I can accept it.

Bobby's voice fills the room. "Hey Balthazar do you think you can get Lara home quick? Dean just apparently came back to life." There is a long pause. "Oh really you guys are going to tell them now. Ok just bring her then." Then Bobby hangs up.

"Tell us what?" I ask him. What the hell don't I know! Before he can respond the feeling in the room changes and it sounds like a flap of wings and I see a man in a blazer appear in the doorway. Before I can respond to a man appearing out of nowhere I hear her. "What the fuck Baltahzar! I was just about to rip that fucking vampires head off. How fucking dare you!" Then the man stumbles back and I'm pretty sure she pushed him hard.

He moves out of the way and I see her for just a moment before she sees me. I am first blown away by her just everything that makes her well her but then I see the details. Her skin is so pale, not like before, it's almost sickly pale. There are dark circles under her eyes and her hair is lifeless. Its pulled up in a bun with parts just falling down haphazardly. She is in all black and her black tank top doesn't hide the bruises on her arms, or the blood splatter.

She makes eye contact with me and the world stops for a moment. Those gorgeous sapphire eyes are staring at me and I just want to grab her and kiss her with all my might. We both just stand there for a moment staring then she moves towards me.

Within moments I am laying on my back and she is crouched over me with a knife to my throat. "What the fuck are you?! How dare you fucking wear him!" She screams at me as the knife just grazes me neck.

"Lara stop its really..." Sam starts but she turns and gives him a death glare. "This is not Dean. I know it isn't because I haven't found a way to bring him back yet. So there is no way this is him." She looks back down at me. "I will ask again what the fuck are you." Shit they were right. She is different. She is strong and lethal. I hunted with her for years and never seen her like this. Her whole body is a weapon and she isn't backing down.

"Lara it's me Dean. Squirt it's me." I can see the tears forming in her eyes and she doesn't move her blade hand to brush them away. Her eyes stay hard even while she is crying. "Don't you fucking use that name. You have 30 seconds to tell me what you are before I just say fuck it and slit your throat."

Before I can respond or anyone can move there is another sound of flapping wings and there is a loud thump in the room. I look over and there is a really hurt man falling over in the living room. He is hunched over and I can tell his back is severely injured. "Lara no! It's Dean I swear it. I saved him Lara. I gripped him tight and pulled him from perdition. I brought him back to you."

The room is once again filled with the same sound and a short man appears next to the injured man. "Castiel what are you doing here? You need to be seen by a healer!"

Lara drops the blade to my throat and covers me with her body. Her lips are on mine in a moment. She doesn't say anything for a moment and we just kiss. My hands come up and start to move all over her body remembering all the curves and dips. She is much thinner than when I left. Her hands move up and down my sides as well. I can tell she is trying to remember me. It doesn't matter that I am sticky and gross and covered in a dirt. It doesn't matter that is covered in vamp blood and near exhaustion. We have each other again.

"Dean I can't believe you are here." She whispers into my lips. "I thought of you every moment." I respond to her. I don't care everyone is looking at us I am going to kiss the hell out of her! The others in the room must be uncomfortable because Bobby starts to cough and we slowly stop. Lara reluctantly sits back and stands up. She extends her hand and helps me up.

Once I am standing next to her she grabs my hand and pulls me with her while she goes to the men standing in the living room. "Uncle Cas are you alright? Is this why you had to leave me?"

The man she called Uncle Cas starts to fall over and the shorter man grabs him. "Yes Lara. He has been training for this since he was created and that is why he had to leave. He will be fine but he needs to go and be healed. It will be some time yet before he is back to his normal self."

Lara lets go of my hand and pulls the injured man to her. She cries into his neck. "Thank you Uncle Cas. Thank you so much. I love you. Please get well." The man lifts his arms up slowly and holds her back. He whispers into her ear but I can't hear it.

"Can someone explain to me who these people are?!" I ask the room. Lara drops the man and turns around. She pulls me to her and kisses me again. "I will explain everything I swear but please just give me an hour with you before we go into it. I just want to have some time with you." I shake my head in agreement. What I want is answers what I need is Lara in my arms. So this way I get both.

Lara turns around and looks to the rest of the room. "Uncle Gabe please get Uncle Cas to help then please come back. The rest of you please just give us an hour then we can all sit down and discuss what is going on alright." They all agree and she grabs my hand and pulls me up to her room.

In a flash she is on me. Her legs are wrapped around my waist and her hands and gripping my neck. Her lips are on my neck, my jaw, my mouth. "Dean I love you so much. I love you Dean." She murmurs into my lips.

I turn us around and lay her down on the bed and cage her in with my limbs. "I love you to Lara. I love you so much that it physically hurt while I was down there." Lara lifts her hand and silences me with her finger. "Later Dean. We will talk about how we survived without each other but right now I just want you to kiss me. I need to feel you."

How can I deny her that? The last few months don't matter. The time apart will just be a memory because right now I have her with me. I have her in my arms where she belongs. The rest doesn't matter.

a/n i hoped you liked it! please review if you have a chance.


	60. Chapter 60

Lara's POV

I can't believe he is here. He is back in my arms where he belongs. I feel whole again, its strange after feeling so empty for so long. I know we have to untangle ourselves and go downstairs but I just want him. Everything else doesn't matter. Our kisses turn from fast and furious to slow and loving and our hands are no longer groping at each other but memorizing.

Dean kisses me softly and pulls back leaning over me. "Has much as I want to just do this forever they are waiting for us. And I need a shower." I notice for the first time that he is still covered in grave dirt and I am covered in vampire blood. I let out a laugh. "Yes I think a shower is in order. I have your clothes here so you can change." He leans down and kisses me again and reluctantly gets off the bed to dig through his clothes for something clean to wear.

I grab his leather jacket from the spot under my pillow and breath in deep and throw it to him as well. "I guess I won't be needing this anymore. I mean I have the real thing now." I tell him with a wink. He puts it on my bed and stares at it for a moment before turning around.

When he leaves the room I stand to go with him but he stops me. "Not with your uncle downstairs. I don't want to get shot me dead on my first hour back." He says with a smirk. It kills me but I let him go alone. While he's showering I dig through my clothes to find something not covered in blood. I want to look pretty though. I want Dean to want me. I chose a teal summer dress that is short enough to look sexy but not short Uncle Bobby will have a heart attack.

The door opens and I pivot quickly and see it's just Dean. I break into a smile. I haven't smiled in months. I cross the distance between us and kiss him desperately. I take off his amulet that I have been wearing since he was killed and put it around his neck. Now he looks complete again. "I'll be right back." I assure him. I jump in the shower and quickly shower off the blood and scrub under my nails because I know I have a few hunts under them. I look down at my rosary around my waist touch the bead I filled in for Dean. I had the artists fill it with green because he was to special to not stand out. But he doesn't need this spot any longer, he is back with me. I throw my dress on and try to style my hair quickly but I give up in favor of being with him sooner.

Dean is sitting on my bed looking at my last dream journal that is still covered in blood. He turns when he hears me come in and his eyes go wide. "You look stunning Lara." I blush and go over to him and grab the journal. "It was rough without you Dean. I will explain everything downstairs." He leans in and kisses me softly and grabs my hand and helps me up from the bed.

At the bottom of the stairs I see that Uncle Gabe is back. Uncle Bobby and Aunt Karen are talking with him and Balthazar in the corner while Sam and Jo are standing in the den debating something amongst themselves as well. They all stop and look up as we come down the stairs and Uncle Gabe ushers us to the sofa where I sit with my entire side pressed up to Dean's still clutching his hand. Sam and Jo squeeze in on the sofa with us and my aunt and uncle take the love seat. Uncle Gabe faces us and smiles at me. "Dean I want you to know that it was forbidden for Lara to talk to you about us. She wanted to many times but she was not allowed too."

"Who are you guys?" He growls out squeezing my hand. Before Uncle Gabe can talk I start. "Dean they are angels. This is the arch angel Gabriel and the blond one is Balthazar and the one who saved you is Castiel. I have seen them since I was baby."

"If you knew them why didn't they do a better job at protecting you?!" He shouts at them. I flinch slightly and pull on him to look at me. "They weren't allowed to interfere with my life Dean, and they did a few times and were punished for it." 

"What do you mean?" He asks. I look to Gabriel and he walks over to us and goes to touch Dean. He pulls away but I squeeze his hand so he allows Uncle Gabe to touch his forehead. After a moment he looks between us. "You were there when we died. You saved my dad?"

Uncle Gabe shakes his head. "I have watched over all of you since you were just souls in heaven. I care for you all deeply and I wanted to spare you both from everything you have gone through. If I could have both your parents would still be alive and you would have lived normal lives but I could not interfere. God is very emphatic on that. Said all of your trials and tribulations make who you are and I could not change that."

"Why?" Dean asks him angrily. "Why have you been watching her. I know nothing in this world is free so what do you want?"

"Dean they don't want anything they are my family. They love me just like Uncle Bobby and Aunt Karen." I explain to him. Uncle Gabe frowns and kneels in front of me. "That is not entirely true darling and you know that. "

Dean jumps and stands between Uncle Gabe and I. "What do you want with her?" He shouts. Uncle Gabe stands and lightly touches Dean's arm.

"When the time is right I will ask her for a great favor. She is allowed to say no. It will not change how I, Castiel, Balthazar, or even Michael feel for her. She has free will and can make her own choices. I have asked her to remain pure until she is married but that is also her choice. The night before your deal was up you heard a noise outside, that was one of my brothers trying to break into your room so you would not sleep with her."

"YOU TRIED TO SLEEP WITH MY NIECE!" Bobby roars from the loveseat and gets into the fray. I roll my eyes and grab my Uncle Bobby. "No I asked him to but he refused too."

"What?!" Sam barks from behind me. I whip around and give him an incredulous stare. "What! He has been crazy about you for damn well near years and he said no! I just don't believe that. Hell I had to listen to his sex dreams about you on the regular."

"Really Sam, not helping!" Dean shouts at him. Uncle Bobby looks at Dean. "You told her no?" He asks him more calmly this time.

Dean looks at me and smiles. He grabs my hand and kisses it, I can't help but blush. "She told me when she was teenager that she was going to wait until she was married and I wanted to make sure that she kept that promise. She seemed so sincere with it back then and I wasn't going to let her break it even for me."

"Well isn't that fucking precious." Uncle Bobby exclaims and Aunt Karen jumps up too. "Robert Singer we do not allow language like that in this house. Now apologize to Lara and sit your ass back down."

Uncle Bobby starts to blush and I smile. No one can talk to him but her like that. "I'm sorry Lara and Dean we are talking about this later. Like once all of this is sorted out later." I roll my eyes and we all sit back down.

"So what do you want her to do?" Dean asks Uncle Gabe. "I can't tell you yet. I do not want it to affect her choices coming up. But know that I will love her regardless what she does."

The room is silent for a moment then Dean's head shoots up. "Wait a minute all those times she has called for Uncle Gabe and Uncle Cas since was just a toddler was you guys wasn't it." Uncle Gabe shakes his head yes and looks at my fondly. Dean stand up and I can tell he is going to punch Uncle Gabe but I jump up as well and grab his fist. Dean looks at me. "You can't Dean, he's an angel your hand would break."

"You were calling for them when, well when... when Matt happened and they didn't come in and rescue you!" He shouts at Uncle Gabe. I grab him. "Dean were there but the place was angel warded. How do you think your ropes go loose?"

"I guess I owe you an apology then." Dean mutters out. I smile at him and pull him back to our seats. He then looks at Balthazar. I see wheels turning in his head then a light bulb go off. "Wait you were there too! That night with the vampires!"

Balthazar chuckles and walks next to Uncle Gabe. "Yes I was there. Gabriel and Castiel were detained. They were told that they could not interfere with what was happening, but I sensed what was happening and stepped in. Otherwise I am pretty sure your father would have killed her."

"Why didn't she turn?" Dean asks them both. Balthazar looks at Uncle Gabe for permission to speak and he shakes his head. "Her blood is special Dean. She can't be turned into a vampire or a werewolf. She also gave you the same gift."

Dean turns quickly and looks at me. "What?" He asks me confused. I kiss his lips softly despite my Uncle Bobby glaring at me. "Uncle Gabe gave me a vial for my birthday that I could give to anyone. It would make them like me. I couldn't imagine you ever being taken from me so I gave it to you."

"When was that?" That makes me blush. It was way before I ever told him that I loved him. Before he ever told me that he loved me. "Shortly after that night." Dean gives me a crooked smile and pulls my face to his lips and kisses my forehead.

"I love you too." He whispers just me for me to hear. I can't help but to smile at that. Dean stops in his tracks and look up Uncle Gabe. "That night she was attacked where you guys there?"

Uncle Gabe's smile falters and I can tell he doesn't want to talk about it. I grab Dean's hand and he looks at me. "The night I was attacked Uncle Gabe, Uncle Cas, and Balthazar were all there but the demons found a way to send them away. Another angel Uriel came and helped me fight them off but they killed him right before I could exorcise them. He was the man I was holding when the police found me. He died for me." I finish softly.

"So how does this work? Are you going to be here now or do you just disappear again." He asks the angels.

"We have always been here Dean. Sometimes we come in just our graces and only Lara can see us. Other times we come in our vessels and everyone can see us." He explains to Dean . "Vessels?" Dean asks.

"Yes vessels, angels have to ask permission from the humans we inhabit before we can. Balthazar and I are slightly unorthodox in that our vessels are dead and we are the only ones in them. Castiel had to ask James Novak's permission to inhabit him and only does when he needs too. "

"Why can Lara see you and no one else?"

Uncle Gabe smiles at me. "She is very special Dean. She is a unique vessel. She could hold just about everything including God. It's part of what has made her such a great hunter. She can see Angels and demons." 

Dean looks at me worryingly. "Are you going to try and take her? Use her to house an angel?" He asks softly, I can hear the terror behind it though. Uncle Gabe shakes his head no. "No there are no plans for anyone to take over Lara and I wouldn't allow it even if someone needed her. I don't think she would handle being possessed for a long time that well." No I wouldn't. Having experienced the other Lara's world has made the idea so repulsive to me I'd rather be dead and they all know it.

"Wait a minute, her dreams! What are they? What happened while I was gone." This is a time I don't really want to talk about but I know I need too.

"The dreams are of me Dean. A different me but you knew that. This me is in a different world and the angel Zachariah betrayed her and sold her to the demons. A few years ago Michael was able to help me block the connection with her a bit but warned me if my paths crossed with someone in this life there it would have severe consequences. " I look at Sammy sadly and he nods.

"The me there was possessed by Ruby shortly after you died in both worlds and went to see Sam. They well they had a relationship and it got violent quickly and I was sent back to the body farm." Dean looks between us. "What aren't you telling me?"

I look at Sam, I don't want to tell Dean if he isn't ready . Sam takes in a deep breath. "In that world Ruby and Sam were sleeping together and she started to feed him demon blood. He got out of control and brutalized Lara's body. He also got her pregnant."

"This that why you couldn't be with her while I was gone?" Dean asks. Sam shakes his head. "Yes, it got to the point that just hearing my voice sent her to that world and she could not separate herself. Her body fully connected and everything that happened to that Lara also happened to ours."

"What does that mean exactly?" Dean asks us, I can tell he is about to lose it. I grab his hand tightly. "Dean it doesn't matter. It's done, Uncle Gabe and Michael found a way to separate us to an acceptable level and it doesn't happen anymore."

Dean looks at Sam. "I repeat what does that mean?" Sam looks down at his feet and refuses to look up. "She experienced everything Dean. From kissing me to having sex with me to when that me got violent and violated her body. She also had signs of being pregnant for awhile."

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I ASKED YOU TO TAKE CARE OF HER AND THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS!" Dean bursts out. I jump and grab him. "Don't you dare Dean. That wasn't our Sam. It was a different one, with a different life. That Sam didn't have me, Jo, or even Aunt Karen and Uncle Bobby like he does here. It wasn't him. I realized that, Jo realizes it and you need too. It was hard on all of us but we got through it."

"We will be talking about this more later." Dean assures me. I roll my eyes and pull him back down. This has been quite the reunion. "So what does this mean for now?" Dean asks the angels.

Uncle Gabe shrugs. "Not much, you guys can restart your lives and when you are needed we will ask. Otherwise we will be around like we always have been."

"Why did you guys rescue me?" Dean asks Uncle Gabe. I see him rub his arm and I move his hand and lift up his shirt and see a hand print burned into his skin. "What is that?" I frantically ask Dean.

"It's hard to remember but it's coming back. The one who was injured burned me to erase a demons mark." I stare at the scar intently and graze my fingers over it making sure it doesn't hurt him. When he doesn't wince I know he is fine. I look up to Uncle Gabe for answers.

Balthazar has been mostly quiet throughout this whole ordeal, which is very unlike him, and he crosses the room. "We saved you for many reasons Dean. One is because Lara needs you and was so miserable without you. The others we can't say yet. But again what we did has no bearing on if you both do what we ask in the future or not. There are no conditions."

"I don't like this." Dean replies. "I didn't expect you would." Uncle Gabe says then disappears. To Aunt Karen, Uncle Bobby, and me this is old hat. To Dean, Sam, and Jo it's a bit shocking to have someone disappear on you.

Everyone is quiet for a moment before Sam lets out a long sigh. "Well that was unexpected. Any other secrets you want to reveal now while we are at it Lara?" He spits at me rather harshly. Dean jumps and faces Sam. Before they can get into an argument I grab Dean's hand and pull him away from Sam. "I wanted to tell you both so many time but I wasn't allowed. I have seen them since I can remember. It used to scare my parents something awful and the only reason Uncle Bobby and Aunt Karen know is because I managed to exorcise Aunt Karen when I was a kid. If I could have I would have told you." I try to reason with him.

Sam doesn't respond and gets up. "I get it I just need to think alright." He tells me as he walks up stairs to his room. Jo gives me an apologetic smile and follows Sam up the stairs.

Uncle Bobby clears his throat and stands up. "Before this gets any further I need to speak with you boy." He directs at Dean. I squeeze Dean's hand and he follows Uncle Bobby outside. I want to follow them but Aunt Karen grabs me. "Let them work this out." She tells me.

When I hear the impala start up I get worried but Aunt Karen gives me a reassuring smile and drags me into the kitchen to help her with dinner. They are gone for hours and I am starting to get worried. I can't imagine what is taking them so long. Uncle Bobby should have just given him the hurt my niece and I'll kill you speech. Now I am worried he is actually killing him and hiding the body.

I hear the car come back and look out the window but Aunt Karen pulls me away again saying I need to let them work this out. I let out a groan and sit down on the sofa. I don't want to be separated from him right now. Haven't we been separated enough as it is?

Shortly after sunset Uncle Bobby comes into the house and I jump off the sofa. "He's out back." Is all he says. I run past him, out the front steps, and down the steps. Dean meets me at the side of the house and grabs me into him and kisses me passionately. "What took you so long?" I finally manage to ask him.

Dean just smirks and kisses me again. "We had something to discuss now come on." He grabs my hand and drags me around the back of the house and I just stop for a second while my brain catches up to what I am seeing. The tree in my back yard is covered in outdoor lights and there is a blanket beneath the twinkling lights with a picnic basket. "Dean?" I ask him unsure what he is doing. He just smiles and drags me over to blanket and pulls me down next to him. He opens the basket and pulls out two champagne glasses and then two bottles of Miller High Life. "I couldn't find champagne on such short notice but I did find the champagne of beers." I let out a laugh and he opens the bottles and fills our glasses.

He then starts to pull out food and spreads them out. He has two cheeseburger which make me laugh and an apple pie. We eat our dinner all the while not taking our eyes off one another. When we are done he leans in and kisses me softly. "Sorry I just really needed a burger and some pie after everything. Just give me one minute." Dean jumps up and runs to the impala which is parked nearby and fiddles inside till it turns on and I hear Led Zeppelin coming out of the stereo. He runs back to the blanket and pulls me to my feet then falls to one knee. I give him a questioning look but he just smiles. "Humor me please."

I stand there and wait for him to say whatever it is he needs to say. Then I stop and notice what is happening. The romantic lights and dinner, the almost champagne, the music, him on one knee... Dean grabs my left hand that already has his mothers engagement ring on it and brings it to his lips and kisses is. "I didn't go about this the right way before I died. I should have still done the whole one knee thing but I chickened out and just left it there for you."

I try to rebuff him but he silences me with a smile. "No Lara, I did it wrong. I want to make for it though. To me I was dead for 40 years and I know to you it was 4 months. I have been in love with you for years Lara and it took me until that night to be able to tell you the truth. I have had 40 years to think about what our life could have been together and what I hoped your life was without me in it. I know now more than ever that you are it for me. I love you with every ounce of my being and I will love you long after I am dead. I want to do this right and do right by you. I can't imagine a life where I don't see your face the last thing before I go to bed and the first thing in the morning. Where you aren't with me for every moment of it. I want to have time to prove to you that I can be a good man for you. That I love you and that I will take care of you for as long as we live. What I want to ask Lara is will you marry me?"

It's quiet for a moment. All I hear is the strum of the guitar from Led Zeppelin in the back ground and crickets chirping in the night. I fall down to my knees and grab his face in my hands and pull him forward and kiss him. "Yes Dean, I will marry you." I say into his lips. I can feel him smile into mine and he pushes me down on the soft blanket beneath me. "But I have conditions." I tell him before I get to wrapped up in him.

He pulls back quickly and gives me a nervous glance. "Dean you can't ever do that to me again. I don't care what the situation is you have to promise me that you will never make a deal like that again." Dean starts to argue. "No Dean, you can't ever leave me like that again. If something happens it happens. My uncles are angels if one of us dies don't you think they will reunite us. If you die again I won't make it. I could see it in their eyes that I was dying. My soul was aching to me reunited with you. I am fairly certain I would have gone to hell just to be with you. So promise me you won't even make a deal like that again and leave me."

"I promise Lara. I will never make a deal again and leave you. I can't promise that nothing will ever unwillingly take me from you, but I can promise I will never be the one to start it."

"Also you can have to treat me like an equal." Dean starts to try to tell me I am but I shush him. "No Dean you don't. That night when you drugged me you took away my choice. You should have talked to me about it. You should have given me a choice. If you want me to be your wife you have to treat me like an equal. We will be partners. If you lie to me or take away my choices again I will not stay with you. It will kill me to walk away but I won't be treated like that again." I don't mean to hurt him but he has to know that I will not ever put up with that again.

"I promise you I will try. I can't promise that I won't go all cave man on you again but I do promise that when you tell me to stop and listen I will. I trust you more than anyone Lara. I want us to be a team." Dean promises me.

"Alright then. Let's get married." I say with a laugh. Dean leans down and captures my mouth again. I can't believe I went without this for four months. His tongue begs access into my mouth and I let him in. I need him.

Dean starts to kiss down my jaw to my neck and nibbles on my ear. "What's your ideal wedding." He breaths into my ear. I turn my neck and kiss his cheek and wrap my arms around his neck.

"Where ever you are." I reply honestly. That gets a chuckle out of him and he kisses my collar bone. "No Lara if I could give you any ceremony what would it be."

I hadn't honestly thought about it. I know that is weird, most girls think about their wedding since they are just kids but to me I guess I just always knew it would only be Dean and that is all I ever thought of. "I guess to me it would perfect outside, maybe on a beach somewhere. A small ceremony. Jo would be my maid of honor and Sam would be your best man. Uncle Bobby would give me away and Uncle Gabe would marry us. Obliviously Aunt Karen, Uncle Cas, Baltahzar, Ellen, Kate, Adam, Rick, and Luke would be there. Then we have a reception at a seaside bar somewhere that is relaxed and low key where we can have fun with all our friends and family. Followed by us not leaving the nearest bed for a week like you promised." I end with a smile.

"Ok then that is what we will have." I shake my head no. "Absolutely not. I am not waiting that long. That would take months to plan. I have no problem going to a justice of the peace tomorrow. "

Dean moves back up my collar bone and sucks on my neck. "No Lara you deserve a fancy wedding with a white dress and all our friends and family there."

"No Dean what I want is you. Nothing else matters." Dean sits up and looks down at me. "Is there a compromise?" He asks with a smile.

"You have one week Dean. I will only wait one week. Whatever you can have planned by then is enough. I won't wait a day past one week." I hate to sound so winey and demanding but if it were up to me I would not wait another minute. "This proposal was beautiful Dean. I don't need a big wedding ceremony too."

"No I know you don't need it but I want you to have it. I don't want you to look back and regret just going down to the justice of the peace." Dean replies softly. I smile at him. "Dean I would never regret it. I just want you. And I am guessing based off last time you will not make love to me until we are married so I don't want to wait any longer than I have too." Dean chuckles and kisses me again.

"I don't want to wait either but I want you to have this. In one week we will get married. Then we will not leave a bed for a week. I promise." That is a compromise I can live with. We spend a bit longer outside before we realize that it is getting late and we need to get back to bed.

We gather everything up from our picnic and turn off the lights and run back to the house giggling and touching each other the whole way. We can't keep our hands off each other and stumble into the house kissing each other. I start to go up the stairs but want his lips on mine and turn around quickly and kiss him. That is when I hear my Uncle Bobby cough. "And where do you two think you are going?" He asks us.

"To bed Uncle Bobby. We are tired." I respond to him. He lets out a laugh. "Not in the same bed you aren't."

I try to argue with him but he starts up again. "No Dean will be sleeping down here and you will going up to your bed, alone."

"We have shared a bed for years. What's the difference now?" I fight with him. I don't want to be separated from him again. Even if just for the night. "That was before you two were romantic with each other. He will be sleeping down here and you up there until you are officially Mrs. Winchester. Those are the rules." He states.

I give him my best pissed of stare and lean down and kiss Dean deeply. I know this is going to piss my uncle off and I don't care. "Good night Dean. I love you." I tell him as I turn around and go up the stairs shaking my ass as I go. Take that Uncle Bobby!

It only takes me a few minutes to get ready for bed and I climb in with a long sigh. I raise my hand and look at my engagement ring in the moonlight. It is different now. It's real. We are getting married in a week. I can't help but fall asleep with a huge smile on my lips.

_It's dark when I wake up. I move my hands trying to feel where I am and all I feel is nothing. I sit up and try to look around but it's too dark to see. "Dean?" I call out. There is no response. I stand on shaky legs and start to move forward. I have to run into something at one point. _

_ Time moves and I am not sure how much as passed by the time I hit a wall. It's still dark and I am quickly going from nervous to terrified. I keep one hand on the wall and follow it hoping to come to a door. "Dean?" I call out again hoping he will hear me. _

_ My hand brushes on a door handle and I grip it and take a deep breath and pull it open. After being in the dark it takes a while for my eyes to adjust to the blinding light. It's not that bright but to me it is like looking into the sun. Once they adjust I see Dean's figure. _

_ I quickly run to him. "Dean, I was so scared I woke up alone. Where were you?" I ask him. He turns to look at me and I see that his eyes are black. That is when I notice that there is a body beneath his hands and it is carved up. "Dean?" I ask him not willing to accept what I am seeing yet. _

_ "You here for a show or do you want to help?" He asks with a laugh . I don't respond and he crosses the room and grabs me to him, getting blood from his victim on me. "There are no watchers just those that do and those that are done too. What are you?" He asks dragging a blade down my cheek. _

"Jesus Lara please wake up!" I hear as I come too. I am sitting up in bed and I am covered in sweat. I look and see Dean and let out a shriek and pull away from him.

It takes me a minute to realize I am back in my bed. "I woke up alone." I tell him shakily. He frowns. "I know and I am sorry about that but your Uncle..."

"No in my dream I was alone and it was dark. So dark Dean. Then I found you and it was bright but it was hell and you were hurting someone." I cry out. He pulls me to him and I cry into his chest. I turn my head when I hear another set of feet at my door. Uncle Bobby is standing there and frowns at the scene in front of him.

"Will your dreams be easier if he stays." He asks me quietly. I shake my head yes. "Alright he can stay in here. But I swear to god it better be PG in this bedroom!" He warns us and turns around and heads back down the stairs.

Dean pulls me into his lap and holds me against him while I cry into his chest. "I have to tell you the truth Lara. I did hurt a soul down there. Every day the demon who was in charge of me would give me a deal . He said if I cut into another soul he would leave me alone. I could leave the rack and hurt them like they hurt me. I always refused him. I would think of you and how you would never cave and I didn't. But then he brought someone in. He brought in Matt. I couldn't stop myself. He was talking about you and every time it was like I was taken over my rage and I would come too with him carved up beneath my hands. It took me 39 years to cave but for one I started to love cutting into him." I can hear just a hint of tears in his voice. He is worried I will hate him for what he did.

I lift my head to look at him and kiss his jaw until he lowers his face enough for me to kiss his lips. "Dean I am not angry with you. I can't imagine what you went through, even though I won't lie I dreamt about it almost every night. The fact that you only ever hurt Matt shows how strong you really are. I love you Dean. All of you, even the you who tortured him and liked it." I want him to know that it doesn't change anything.

He starts to cry but I won't call him out on it. He doesn't need that and I know he would feel even worse if I said something. He just leans down and captures my lips with his. His kisses are desperate and fierce. He is trying to show how much he missed me with just his mouth. He picks me up and moves me to lay out beneath him and he covers me with his body. "I never cut into anyone else because of you Lara. You kept me human. I refused to change, to come back to you a demon." He murmurs into my lips.

"I would have taken you whether you were a demon or not. I decided if you came back to me one I would deal with it. It would be hard but I couldn't be without you. If having you meant having a demonic you I would have dealt with it." I respond to him. He frowns slightly and kisses my lips softly. "You would have deserved more than that." He whispers out.

I grab his face and make him look at me. "No Dean I wouldn't have. All I want is you. Whether you are human, a demon, hell even a vampire. I want you and only you. And in one week I will make that a vow to you in front of everyone we know and love. You could have come to be me a woman Dean and I would have taken you in a heartbeat. " That gets a smile out of him and I bring his face back to mine and kiss him again. "You're all I need. I love you."

"I love you too Lara. I swear I will always come back, regardless of what I become." I smile at that. That is promise I can live with. We kiss each other and our touches become slower and our lips meet less as we drift off to sleep in each other's arms.

a/n I hope you liked this chapter. I was surprised how few reviews I had last chapter though. Thanks for all of those who did though.


	61. Chapter 61

a/n wow time got away with me. I wish I had a good excuse but I just work a lot. this is my outlet from work and when I get overwhelmed with it I just go into survival mode and forget most all else. So I hope you are still reading and not to mad at the delay.

Dean's POV

_He claims I'm his favorite. That I will become his masterpiece. Alistair says one of the favorite things about me is how hard I fight it, says it will make the break all the more amazing when it happens. He pushes and pushes me to my breaking point but I stay firm, for Lara._

_ "Your body is so fun to work with Dean." Alistair says more to himself than to me. "I just love connecting the dots and seeing what design is underneath." Today Alistair has found a new way for my body to entertain him. He's starting with my face, which is rare because anytime you are near the brain you could kill your victim faster and he likes to draw out his talents. He likes to explain to me what he is doing. Some how along the line I have absorbed all he has to offer and if I ever caved I know I would be just as good as him. He has been using my freckles like some kind of demented child's connect the dot game. He slices through my skin with the finesse of a artists and connects each freckles with a line of blood. Once he has the pattern he was looking for he expertly skins it off my face, leaving me with what I can only imagine is some harlequin pattern from my worst nightmares. "I wish I could send her a picture of you like this. I bet she would love to see how far you have come." I know he is speaking about Lara. I refuse to take his bait. I won't let him use her like that. _

_ "What do you think she would think of you now Dean? Chained to table, tortured daily. Do you think she could kiss you with your face like this?" He holds up a mirror and I refuse to look. He just chuckles and puts the mirror down. I think, no I hope, that he will just let me be because I know better but can still hope. But like normal he has to go that extra step. His hands move over his tools with purpose and before I know what is happening he is using one hand to steady my face while he fingers pull up my eye lids and the other slices them off. I can't help but scream out in horror. My eyes feel like they are on fire and all I want to do is close them like you would when you spill shampoo in them but I can't. Alistair just chuckles and picks the mirror back up. This time forcing me to see what he has done. _

_ At first all I can see are my eyes. They look unnatural and like they are crying tears of blood. Then all the different patterns of my skin start to show. To the part of me that has been in hell to long I can appreciate the art form. The cuts are perfect and he has pulled out the skin with such exact care that it looks like it was done with a laser. The part of me that is still me is horrified but we it sees. This is me now. This is me for the rest of eternity, a play thing for this demon. "Do you think she could still kiss you?" He asks with a laugh and snaps his finger._

_ On queue a demonic Lara look alike comes in to the room. I'm use to these now but they still hurt me to see. She comes in with her head bowed low not looking up, even has a slight shy blush on her cheeks. "What is it master." She asks with a damn well near perfect Lara accent. I cringe knowing this one is going to be rough. _

_ "Look at this man Lara, look at your man and tell me could you kiss him?" We both know this game well and the demonic Lara is more than happy to make her master happy. She slowly lifts her face and I see the human emotions of shock and horror flood her face, then do something it usually doesn't, it softens and smiles at me. "Of course I could, he's my Dean." She says softly. I can actually see her saying that. I would be able to do the same thing for her. Nothing could keep me from her lips._

_ "Fine then give him a kiss." Alistair tells the Lara double. She crosses the room slowly and caresses the side of my mutilated face. If I wasn't tied down to this steel bed and in so much pain I would try to fight her off but I know it is no use. She leans down and kisses me lips softly. "I love you Dean." She says has she pulls herself off my lips. I wish it was Lara so bad. I miss her so much but I can see the bit of darkness that clings to the edges of her. She is nothing but a poor imitation of her. _

_ Alistair leers on and grabs more tools of his cart. He has a pair of thongs and a sharp knife. He leans over quickly and grabs my lips in between the thongs and slices the knife through them quickly severing them from my face. I let out a wail of pain has the blood from my mouth starts to coat my throat. "How about now Lara? Can you still kiss him?"_

_ She gives him a devilish smile that lets me know that has been planned out for a while. "Of course Master." She says leaning down and grinding her mouth down on my abused mouth. I whimper too tired to even fight. She pulls back with my blood dripping from her lips. Her tongue darts out and laps up the drops of blood. _

_ "Do you think you could fuck him like this Lara?" He asks her. She just smiles and slides off the thin excuse of a dress and jumps up on the table straddling me. "Always Master." She tells him. Alistair hands her a knife and she trails it over my torso, she doesn't have the talent that Alistair has but it doesn't matter, it hurts anyways. I can't get it up for her and Alistair just won't accept that. _

_ "If you're not going to fuck her then I'll just cut it off Dean." He snarls at me. I don't have it in me to care anymore. Why should I? I don't respond and he just tisks under his breath. I know what he is going to do before he even grabs the knife and before I can even flinch he's grabbed me and cuts it off. He hands it to the demonic twin of the love my life and she just laughs. "For me Master?" She asks with an upbeat squeal at the end. If I had any energy I would come back with some smart ass remark but I can't even bother to turn my head up to look at her._

_ "Of course my dear now go play with your present." He tells with a sly smile. "Now Dean you didn't need to be so difficult. You could have enjoyed that. I thought I was being pretty generous allowing you to have intercourse with that little demon over there. But no you had to be difficult. You always have to be so fucking difficult. If that is how you are going to be then I am just going to have to treat you like I would any petulant child. I am going to have to punish you." _

_ He doesn't often go for the tools that are off to the side. They are for when he is really pissed. I really did it this time. He snaps his finger and a fire pit appears in the room and he grabs a long poker from his side pile and puts it in the fire pit. He comes back and plays with my restraints pulling my legs further apart. He never gags me, he likes to hear his people scream out in agony. The demon who looked like Lara no longer looks like her. They usually can't hold up the charade to long especially if they are distracted and low and behold based off the moans coming from her she is very distracted with her new present. _

_ "You should have just fucked the girl Dean." Alistair's sneers has he picks up the red hot poker and slams it into me. I let out a scream that shakes the room and I pray for death. _

"Dean please, Dean I'm here." I hear in my mind. I swim towards it wanting to get away from whatever hell I am in. "Wake up Dean, I am here. Just wake up." She says again. I break through and come to twisted up in her sheets in a heap on the floor. "Calm down Dean. You are safe. You are at Bobby and Karen's home not hell." Lara tells me calmly.

It takes a minute for the fog that has filled my mind to dissipate and I know I am no longer in hell. I am safe. I am with Lara again and I am alive. I still can't seem to move my muscles but Lara sees that I am back with her and slowly crawls over to me and pulls me into her arms and rubs her hands softly over my back. "Take a minute and relax. It's hard to shake off I know it is but you are safe. You are home. I am here, and I love you." Lara whispers to me.

I take another few minutes to clear my mind and center myself. It's easy to do with her arms around me, her scent encircling me. The demons could never mimic that. That is how I know I am safe right now. "Well we're a great pair now aren't we. " I say with a laugh trying to break the tension. She pulls back and gives me a confused look and I chuckle. "The nightmares, we both have them now. That should lead to an interesting life in bed." She chuckles knowing I need a laugh and kisses my forehead.

"We'll just have to find something else besides sleep to do in bed then." She responds with a wink. "I am going to take a quick shower then you get in when you are ready. I'll be downstairs and have breakfast done when you come down."

Lara leaves me with a deep kiss and I can still taste her on my lips when she leaves her room. I move to the bed and rest my head in my hands for a moment while I try to push the memories from the dream out of my head. It's the past. It's not happening I can't let it rule my life.

The same fluttering I heard yesterday when I meet the angels fill the room and I look up to see Gabriel standing next to the bed. "I would try and erase the memories from your head but I have a feeling you wouldn't let me. "

He must sense I am confused because he chuckles and moves to sit next to me on the bed. "While you were gone I had to cut all the connections that Lara had with the other Lara. I got almost all of them cut until the last one, the one that was connected to you. She would rather live in hell every night then have one part of you cut off from her. For me to erase your memories of that time would erase what you felt for her, what you are to her, and I have a feeling you won't let me even though I think you should let me."

I shake my head no. "I can handle this. Don't mess with me head." I say more sharply then I mean t too. Gabriel doesn't seem to take any offense to it thought. "I am glad you proposed she deserved that."

"You were watching us?" I accuse him. The last thing I need is to know that the angels are watching us every time I kiss Lara. He just chuckles. "No not watching but we know everything that happens to her, and I want to help."

"With what?" I ask him totally confused.

"She said she would only give you a week to plan this wedding and if I know my stubborn girl she won't help you plan it. I saw what she wanted and we both know you could not plan that in a week. So I am offering to plan it so it can. I have the perfect spot for it already set aside. I can bring in your guest list and even create the seaside bar for your reception." He sounds sincere. A part of me wants to ask him why he wants to help but another part of my already knows why. Despite everything, all of my doubts, he loves her like a daughter and wants her to be happy.

So I do the only thing I can think to do, which 4 months ago I would never have done, and just agree. I shake my head yes. "Thank you that would be nice. I want that for her. What do I need to do?"

"I'll bring you there to see what I have put together but I think you will find that it fits what was in her mind and even yours to a T." I give him the closest thing to a bitch face that I can do. "Don't give me that look. I know you have thought about marrying that girl and you know what you want it to look like. Just trust us. I will take you for a suit fitting later today because no way in hell am I letting my girl marry you in one of those ill fitted sears suits you wear on a hunt." Before I can respond he is already gone. Damn angels just going and coming as they please.

By the time I am showered and ready for the day I can smell the food wafting up to the second floor from the kitchen. I am greeted by the sight of Lara laughing with her Aunt Karen and cooking at the stove when I get to the bottom of the stairs. She turns quickly and gives me a shy smile then turns back to her cooking. I want to go over to her and kiss her senseless but with Bobby sitting at the table I think better of it and settle for grabbing her from behind and kissing the top of her head. "Thanks." I whisper into her ear.

I can feel her smile has she leans into me. "Don't mention it. It's not like you haven't protected me from my dreams since I was a child." I don't respond and take a seat with Bobby while Lara plates our breakfasts.

To say that breakfast is a bit awkward would be an understatement. Bobby keeps looking at me like I am going to defile is niece at the breakfast table, which is ridiculous, I don't want a buck shot in my ass. But then again having Lara's body under my hands and her lips attached to mine might be worth a sore ass for a few weeks. Karen tries to break the tension but I think Bobby still needs a few days or maybe years to adjust to the changes.

After breakfast I am surprised to hear the kitchen fill with the sound of wings again. It's Gabriel and Balthazar, I guess Castiel is still too injured to appear in peoples kitchens. "Good morning." Balthazar announces to the room. Everyone except me seems unbothered by people randomly appearing in their kitchen. "We are going shopping today." He explains as if that makes all the sense in the world.

Lara and I give each other looks and I am glad that she seems just as confused as I am. "I hear we have a week to get you both dressed for a wedding and we have a plan to fix that." Balthazar explains to us. I moan out not really excited about the idea of spending my day shopping. Lara shakes her head no. "I don't have time for that."

Gabriel just laughs and grabs a cup of coffee. "That is crap and you know it. You, Karen, and Jo will be going with Balthazar today to find a wedding dress, a bridesmaid dress, and a nice little dress for Karen as well. Dean you on the other hand will be coming with me and Sam and if Bobby is done plotting your death he can come too."

It takes a bit but we manage to get Sam and Jo up and awake with bribes of coffee. Before I know what is happening Gabriel is grabbing my arm and we are no longer in Bobby's house. Next thing I am aware of before the sick feeling in my stomach is we are in a store. "What the fuck!" I shout out.

Bobby just chuckles. "Angels." As if that explains everything. Gabriel just shrugs and shouts out. "Timothy we're here."

I take in the room and I can tell Sam is a bit overwhelmed as well. But I guess how do you adjust to transporting like that. Honestly I zone out a bit while Gabriel is talking to "Timothy." I grab onto Sam. "Where the fuck are we?"

Sam just shrugs and looks around the tailors shop. "Dean get over here! We are fitting you first." Gabriel yells out. Gabriel grabs my arm and pulls me with him. "Where the hell are we Gabriel?"

"We're at my favorite tailors shop in London. I am going to make sure you don't look like a slob when you marry my Lara. Then I am going to get those two fitted as well. Can't wait to see the look on Bobby's face when I make him wear a tux." He says with a laugh.

There are very few situations that I could be less prepared for then getting fitted for a tux in a real tailors shop in London. Hell I might be better suited to be in pointe shoes and dancing in a ballet then this. "I want to get him a tux and while you're at it get him a nice charcoal suit and a navy one. Yes that will match my darling Lara's eyes well." I whip around to tell him no but I can tell by the look on his face that it's useless.

All of this is just so surreal. "So where is Lara?" I ask him trying to keep still while some strange British man measures me and moves my body around. "Oh they went to Milan."

"Excuse me?!" I reply shocked. Gabriel laughs at out loud and pulls a lollipop out of his pocket. "I put Balthazar in charge of the girls and he found a nice place in Milan for her to get fitted and pick out a gown." I love how he says it like it's the most normal thing he could say. Fucking Milan, I have a feeling Lara is going to love that.

I've never been fitted for a suit before so I guess it takes about the normal amount of time. When my time is done Gabriel grabs me and pulls me down in the seat next to him and pulls a cold beer out of his coat and hands it to me. Where the hell did that come from. He twists off the cap and gives it to me. Bobby laughs and nudges me. "Angels." I have a feeling I am going to be feeling that sentiment for years to come.

"So this guy can have all these ready in a week?" I ask him not sure what we are supposed to talk about. Gabriel lets out a low chuckle. "No but I will go the future and pick them up when they are ready." I spit out my beer just a bit. Angels, I think to myself.

Sam seems to handle his time getting fitted well and so does Bobby surprisingly. The day goes fast and I am surprised that it was actually decent company. Who would have thought I would be hanging out with an angel the second day back from hell. "So what do I need to do to help set up for the wedding?" I ask trying to figure out what I need to do for Lara to have a great day.

"Don't worry about it. Balthazar and I got it covered." He says off handedly. It's only been a few hours since I even heard of angels being real and here I am letting them plan my wedding. Wedding what a strange word to ever have associated with me. I never thought I'd be getting married. I can only imagine the ridiculously dopey smile I must have on my face right now thinking of what my life is going to be like with my Lara.

After everyone is fitted Gabriel takes us back to Bobby's, at least this time I am bit more prepared for it even if it still makes me feel like I am going to barf. "Where's Lara?" I ask Gabriel. He just shrugs. "Takes longer for women."

I take the time before Lara gets back to work on my baby. It's felt like a lifetime since I have been under her hood, which I guess 40 years really almost is. I get Bobby's old boom box from the garage and play some of my old favorites while I check her out. I am glad to see that Lara has been taking excellent care of her. I knew she would. The engine looks up to my level of perfection and the interior is spotless minus some of her clothes and used tissues, I try not to think of her crying in here thinking of me.

I'm lost in my baby and the second verse of Back in Black when I feel a hand graze my side and wrap around my waist then a pair of lips kiss my neck. "Missed you today." She whispers in my ear. I grab her hand and squeeze then turn around and pull her to me. "Gabriel took me to London to get fitted for a tux." I tell her matter of factly and she chuckles at me.

"You'll get used to it. Balthazar took us to this ridiculous shop in Milan to pick out a dress and I may have had a bit too much Champagne while there. All I could think about was getting back here and slowly undressing you..." Her hands move up to my neck and she pulls me down to her lips and kisses me softly. "I thought about dragging my hands all over your chest..." I grab her hips and pull her up so her legs have to wrap around my waist and I turn us around and slam the hood of the impala down and sit her down.

"What else were you thinking about doing today?" I ask her while I kiss down her neck, her legs pulling me in closer.

She doesn't respond with words at first. Her hands make their way under my over shirt and pulls is slowly down my arms all without her lips leaving mine. Her hands make it under my shirt and I shift a bit rubbing up against her and she lets out a moan. "I was thinking about all the stuff we could be doing if you weren't being a stick in the mud." She says with a smile.

"Now that I know about your other so called Uncles I will not be doing it any other way. They would definitely find a way to kill me if Bobby can't." I finish with chuckle but I have a feeling it really isn't a joke, they would find a way to kill me.

"Well I suppose there are still things we can do without anyone trying to kill you." She offers as she drags her nails down my back and now it's my turn to moan. I push her down on the hood of baby and push her up while I crawl over her. "Yes I suppose there are things." I say with a wink.

The week goes by fast. I had thought it would drag on for an eternity but before we know it the night before our wedding is upon us. I am amazed all week at the amount of hunters that call her on a daily hell sometimes hourly basis for help on hunts. Lara doesn't like to talk about it but Sam fills me in. After she got over the crying phase of my death she went hardcore into the revenge part. She basically went on a supernatural killing spree that quite frankly amazes me. My girl has always been a good hunter but she's now known as a cold blooded ruthless hunter and is wanted on a lot of hunts. I'm pretty sure that Balthazar has been secretly taking her on afternoon hunts to help out someone way over their head but I pretend I don't know and focus on catching up on what I have missed.

It's only a few hours away now, we will say our vows in front of each other and she will be Mrs. Winchester. I can't help but smile. We are on a the couch and I pull her closer to me and kiss the top of her head. She cranes her neck back and gives me a big smile and I lean down and kiss her lips. "Get ready!" Jo yells from the top of the stairs as she comes bouncing down the stairs.

Lara and I don't separate and give her confused looks. "Come on get up and get ready!" She yells out. "What am I getting ready for?" Lara asks her.

Sam's loud steps can be heard on the stairs behind Jo and he enters the den next. "It's your bachelor and bachelorette party tonight so go get ready." He tells me grabbing me off the sofa and pushing me up the stairs.

"I don't need a bachelor party. I am fine just hanging out here tonight." I snap back him completely exasperated by the situation. I just want to relax on the couch while holding Lara until tomorrow. Then spend the rest of my life holding her. I don't need some bachelor party because I don't feel like I will be leaving anything behind. This right here is all I need.

"Not going to happen Deano. We are all going out." I hear from the top of the stairs. Well apparently any hope I had left in me for a relaxing evening is useless, the angels are here. "I even have your little brother Adam downstairs ready to go. So stop bitching and get changed. Wear something nice." I roll my eyes and dig through my duffel next to Lara's bed. I grab out a clean black tee and jeans and dig a bit more to find my favorite army green over shirt. I will be dressing up tomorrow so they will have to deal with this tonight.

I purposefully take a long time to get ready just to piss everyone else off. I can hear Lara yelling at Jo from the bathroom and I can't help but chuckle. She hates being pushed into things. At least I know I'm not the only one a bit frustrated. When I'm done I head downstairs and see the living room filled with people. Gabriel and Balthazar are laughing with Bobby, Rick, and Luke while Sam and Adam are talking near the door. Kate, Karen, and Ellen are even all dressed up talking in the kitchen amongst themselves. I haven't seen Adam since I have gotten back but we have talked on the phone a few times. His face lights up when he sees me and all but runs to me and gives me a tight hug. I forget sometimes that not everyone was raised to be as emotionally stunted as me. "I'm so glad your back Dean." I pat his back and assure him that I am glad too.

The sounds of heels on the stairs grab my attention and I turn around to see Lara floating down the stairs. My brain flashes back to a similar sight years ago when Sammy, Jo, Lara and I went out. She looks stunning then and stunning now. I know my jaw is dropped a bit but it's hard not to stare at the vision on beauty in front of me. She's in a short tight teal dress that hugs her thighs and breast like a glove and make her legs look like they go for miles. She's wearing 6 inch heels like she was born doing it and her eyes are smoky and sultry. I finally manage to collect myself and I stumble over to her by the stairs. I wrap my arms around her waist and kiss her deeply while grabbing her off the stairs and placing her down softly in front of me. "You look amazing Lara." I murmur into her lips like the room isn't full of our family and closest friends.

Lara kisses me back, her tongue darting in and out of my mouth, her teeth nibbling on my bottom lip as she pulls away. "You look pretty amazing yourself Dean. What do you say? Wanna blow this party and just neck in the back of baby all night?" She asks with a wink.

"Oh hell no! We have planned way too much for you to ruin it that easily. Come on Lara we have reservations." Jo exclaims behind us. I manage to finally rip my eyes from Lara's body and look around the room, Bobby is glaring at me but less so then a few days ago when he found me making out with her behind the house.

Before I let go I kiss her deeply one more time. I pull her closer into me and glare at Jo. "Before you go and take my fiancé out where are you taking her?"

Jo looks at Gabriel and smirks. "We are going to LA. We got reservations at Catch and a VIP table at the Sayers Club, which if you don't mind we are going to be late for." She huffs out. Lara just shakes her head at Jo and looks to Gabriel. "And where exactly are you taking my soon to be husband tonight?"

Gabriel looks to Sam and smiles. "Well darling we are headed to Vegas and we are taking him to the Whisky Attic then Casa Fuente." He sure seems proud of himself. Lara turns her head and glares at Sam then looks back at him.

"I know this crew and there will be strippers." Before anyone can protest Lara cuts them off with a single glance. "I know there will be strippers. You can look but I swear to God if you touch I will make the first year of your married life hell." She then turns her fiery look to Gabriel. "And don't think I won't angel banish your ass for a month!" Her face soften and she pushes up and kisses me softly. "But please have fun. I love you."

Despite Bobby's glares I can't help but kiss her back. I look up at Gabriel then. "When will we be home?" I ask him getting ready to count down the hours till Lara is back in my arms. "You won't. It's bad luck for the bride to see the groom before the wedding. They will stay here until tomorrow when we go to the island and we men will be staying at a hotel in town."

I go to protest but Lara gets to it before I can. "Like hell we are sleeping apart tonight!" Balthazar comes up behind her and put his hand on her shoulder. "It's for tonight dear and then you'll have the rest of your lives, plus its tradition."

"Well it's a stupid fucking tradition." Lara mumbles under her breath. She looks up at me and shrugs saying what the hell can you do with her eyes. I smile at her and pull her into me inhaling her scent deeply. "I'll see you bright and early tomorrow. I love you and don't let Jo get you in too much trouble."

I feel Lara breath me in as well and she pulls back slightly, wraps her arms around my neck and pulls me into her. She kisses me like no one is there and it's not until Balthazar coughs out uncomfortably that she lets up. "I love you too." 

Balthazar then gets Karen, Ellen, Jo, and Lara together and with a flap they disappear. "How'd he get roped into the bachelorette party?" I smirk out. Gabriel laughs and gets the men together holding on to my arm. "I would have gone but I need to keep an eye on you, make sure your good enough for my girl." And just like that we are in Las Vegas.

a/n Sorry again for the delay and I hope you liked it!


	62. Chapter 62

Lara's POV

I wouldn't consider myself one of those pathetic girls who can't live without their boy friend next to them every second of the day. I really don't, despite the fact that my actions at the moment say otherwise. Fuck it! I don't care if that's how I come off. I spent four fucking months knowing the love of my life was in hell and being tortured while I was topside. If I don't want to spend another night alone I won't. And none of them are going to make me.

My bedroom window is conveniently located above the porch. So all I need to do is be nice and quiet, sneak out the window, and shimmy down the corner of the porch, easy. I'm a hunter for god's sake what is escaping a perfectly safe bedroom! The tricky part will be getting out of the scrap yard without waking anyone up. Jo was watching me like a hawk since we got back home to make sure I didn't make a dash for it. I refused to let her sleep with me and quite frankly after I broke her arm a few months ago I don't think she was looking forward to a night in bed with me. I know that Kate is set up on the sofa downstairs to make sure I don't dart and Jo has her bedroom door open in case I try to leave as well. Balthazar left shortly after we got back to check on Uncle Cas so he won't be bothering me. Amateurs. I figure I can get my bug in neutral and push it a couple hundred feet from the house then start it. Easy.

It's not that I didn't have fun tonight because I did. I really had an excellent time. Dinner was amazing and I can tell that my Aunt Karen was just thrilled by the fancy experience. Her smile alone was worth being taken from Dean for the evening. Balthazar was great and put up with all the girl talk and even went to the strip club that shockingly Kate and Ellen insisted we go to before the dance club, hell the both were throwing around money like a bunch of sex starved house wives. Aunt Karen seemed nervous and out of place at first but soon was laughing and enjoying herself like the others. But I kept my threat to Dean as a promise for myself. I had no problem looking but none of them were going to touch me and I wasn't going to touch them. Why would I want one of them when tomorrow I will be married to the hottest man on the planet? OK so maybe I am a little biased but I believe that is my right to be. The club was great too even if I think Aunt Karen and Ellen didn't enjoy that part as much as the strippers, but Jo, Kate, Balthazar, and I enjoyed dancing like fiends for a few hours. By the time I got home I should have been too exhausted to even come up with the ridiculous plan to get to Dean's hotel room.

It's such a gorgeous night out. The stars are like diamonds sparkling over me. It's warm without being too hot with a slight breeze brushing by my exposed skin. I couldn't appreciate it without Dean though. Everything without him seemed dull and actually painful. I think I understand John just a bit better now. If he felt just a fraction of what I felt then he should have gone mad. I know he just kept himself together for his boys but that's a feat I am not sure I could do. I don't know how I would have reacted to all this if Dean and I had a child before he went to hell. Would I have been able to get my ass out of bed and raise the child or would I have slipped into a deep depression and died. I hope I never have to know the answer to that. I get to my car but before I can get the keys in I hear crunching on the gravel a few hundred feet away. I tense and reach into the band of my jean shorts that I changed into after they thought I went to bed and pull out my gun. Like hell something is going to keep me from getting married tomorrow.

The noise is getting louder and luckily it is near a full moon so I know I'll be seeing who or whatever it is in a few moments. I train my eyes down the lane and hold my breath when I see the dark figure start to become a man in pair of ruggedly loose jeans and a black tshirt. "Dean!" I yell out louder then I should and quickly put the gun back in my jeans and run down the lane to him. "What are you doing here?!" I whisper loudly has I jump up on him and wrap my legs around his hips kissing him senseless. I feel his hands rest on my hips and move down to squeeze my ass and I stifle a moan has I feel him growing against me.

He doesn't respond at first. I assume it is hard to talk with my tongue down his throat. He pulls back slowly and I stop attacking his mouth long enough for him to smile at me cockily and answer. "Looks like the same thing you were thinking. I thought this whole separation thing was bullshit and I was going to sneak into your room and steal you away."

I laugh and kiss him again but unwind my legs so I can stand in front of him. "So how did you escape Sammy and my uncles?" I assume Adam, Rick, and Luke would not be so emphatic on us sleeping apart as the rest of them. Dean blushes and looks at the ground. "Well I may have made sure Sammy got drunk enough to pass the fuck out the moment we got the room. I wasn't too worried about Adam and he crashed within a few moments too. Your Uncle Bobby demanded his own room saying he didn't want to hear Sam sing anymore boy band songs." He pauses a moment when my eyebrow goes up at that one. "We went to a karaoke bar at one point. Then let's see Gabriel went to check on Castiel so I took it as my moment to escape. Little did I know that you were thinking the same thing and already on your way to me."

"Where should we go? Back to the hotel?" I look back at the house not relishing in the idea of climbing up the porch again and risking waking the entire house. Dean just smiles and pulls me behind him. I follow without question and we stop at baby. His hand graze my hips before he holds them steady then he lifts me up and rests me on the hood. He jumps up next to me and we move back and lean back on her windshield. I know we'll end up sleeping in her like we used to but we can relax and talk better out here before going to bed. "So how was your night?" I ask rolling over and resting my head on his chest. This last week being able to hear his steady heart beat and the feel of his breath on the top of my head has brought me the sanity I have been lacking the last four months. Dean's arm comes up around me and he runs his fingers through my hair.

"Minus the fact you weren't there it was great. We had a really fun time. I got Sammy drunk at the first spot and he was acting like a foolish teenager all night. I am pretty sure I got enough video evidence to black mail him for the rest of our lives." I let out a chuckle knowing how ridiculous Sam can get when he is drunk. "Bobby seemed a little less homicidal to me tonight and I had fun with Gabriel. I got to spend some real quality non stressful time with Adam. He really seems to fit in with Sam and I well. Rick and Luke seemed to have a blast too. I see why you like them so much."

"We're the strippers?" I ask him deviously. He groans a little and uses his free hand to rub his face. "Yes, but I swear I didn't touch. Rick and Luke may have taken it has an all you can eat buffet but I just watched."

I move to straddle his hips and face him. "Kate and Ellen insisted on strippers as well and I didn't feel the need to touch either." I say with a wink. He laughs and reaches up to move the hair that has fallen over my eyes. "And why is that?" He asks with a smirk. I lean into his hand loving the warmth on my face.

"I found no need to touch some other man when I knew when I got home I would have you." I smirk back and lean down to kiss him. I just graze my lips over his at first. I want to make him want it. His hands start to move up and down my sides but before he can touch my breasts I grab them and pin them over his head. He gives me a surprised smile and I give him a serious glare. "What did I say about touching Dean?" I have apparently rendered him speechless and doesn't respond before I can lean back down and kiss his lips again. This time I lick the seam of his lips waiting for him to let me enter which he does quickly. For a few moments I let us just get lost in the sensation of our lips and tongues meeting. I loosen my grip and he tries to reach for me again so I jump off him. "Wait here and don't move." I tell him.

I run to the car and dig under the passenger seat and dig through his well I guess our tape collection until I found what I wanted. I turn the battery on and put the tape in and keep it low enough that the sound won't travel back to the house. I run around back to the front of the car and pull on his legs until he gets the point and drags himself back down the hood of the car until he is sitting on the front. I pull the gun out of my shorts and rest it on the hood of the car and kick off my chucks as well.

The music starts to build and he laughs when he hears "She's my cherry pie." Coming through the speakers. I plan on knocking that grin right off his face though. I start to move my hips to the music and his laughter fades while he takes me in. I see the look in his eyes change from shock to hunger in a matter of moments. I move my hands up my body stopping to rub my breasts that I refused to let him touch just a few moments before. I keep moving up and run them through me hair lifting and dropping it over my shoulders. I spin around gracefully and back up to him and bend down so he has a great view of my ass and before he can reach out I move back up and spin to face him again.

I really have no idea what has gotten into me but I don't care because he seems to be thoroughly enjoying whatever it is. I graze my fingers up the hem of my tank top rubbing the skin beneath and start to move it up until I pull it over my head and throw it to the side with a dramatic spin. I am extremely glad that I let Jo talk me into wearing a lacy black bra with matching lacy panties not expecting what I would be doing later. Dean just drops a "wow" and I doubt he even knows he said it. I move my hands over the band of my jean shorts and dramatically start to unbutton them and drag the zipper down. I think his eyes are going to bulge out of his head as I slowly and methodically pull them down my legs and fluidly come back up touching my legs the whole way up and kick the shorts of when I'm standing again. I walk forward and he opens his legs for me to nestle in between them. I rest each of my hands on his knees and continue to move my hips into between his legs swaying to the music. I turn around again and walk into him until my back is covered by his chest and shimmy down and up in front of him brining my arm up behind him pulling on his neck until his face is resting on my shoulder. I turn and kiss him softly and turn around and smile as the song starts to end. I push him back on the car and soon crawl up over him and move to straddle his hips again. "I thought you should be able to touch at least one dancer tonight." I moan out seductively into his ear.

Up until now I have been running the show but before I know what is happening he has grabbed me and flipped us over so I am on my back with one of his knees in between my legs and the other one pinning me beneath him. He leans down and kisses me deeply. He devours my mouth and his hands are wildly exploring all over my body unable to stop too long on any one part driven by desire. I arch up into him has he moves down my neck and kisses up my shoulders while his hands find the snaps to my bra and slides it off.

My free leg moves to wrap around his hips and pull him closer to me while his hands settle on my hips for a moment almost like he is going to pull them against him. I feel him against me and I arch my back up to feel him better and we both moan out at the contact. He releases my hips and kisses me softly not with the need he was just a moment ago. "Just a few more hours Lara." He can hear the fight in his voice to just take me here and now on the hood of his car. He leans his forehead against mine while he tries to calm his breathing down. "Just a few more hours and I won't stop." I know if I pushed further I might be able to actually convince him to let go but I don't. This is hard enough for him. I unwrap my leg and lay back down beneath him. I pull him down for one more kiss. "Let's get in the back and get some sleep. We have a big day ahead of us tomorrow." I smile sweetly to let him know I am not mad we didn't go further. He's right it's just a few more hours and I've waited this long what's a few more.

Dean slides off me and leans down to collect my bra, shorts, and tank top. He grabs my legs and pulls down the hood while I let out a startled laugh. He pulls me until he is between my legs down and smiles. He grabs my arms and lifts them up and puts my tank top back on. Then he stands back and slides my shorts back up my legs and pulls me to stand so he can pull them fully up my hips and zips and button them. "Let's get some rest."

He grabs my hand and we move to the back seat where I see he has a blanket and a pillow set up from the hotel already. He opens the door and leans over the seats to turn the car off while throwing my bra in the front seat and jumps in laying down with his back to the seat and extends his hand out to take mine to pull me in to lay in front of him. I shut the door before his arms can trap me to him completely. The windows are open and the breeze is welcomed on my flushed skin but once we both start to relax from our adventure on the hood of the car I start to shiver a bit. Dean's hands move up and down my arms trying to warm me while he kisses my neck his warm breath on me making me shiver again. He reaches down and pulls the blanket up and over us. "I love you Lara." He whispers as he falls asleep. I smile. "I love you too Dean." And we are both out quickly.

The sun wakes us up in the morning and I roll over lazily and nestle my head into his chest. "Good morning." I mutter into his chest. His arms tighten around me and I feel like if he could he would pull me into him. His hands rub up and down my back. "Morning to you too." He pulls back just a bit enough to see my face and kisses my forehead.

"You should get back before they notice I have taken you." He tells me laughing. I smile and push myself up to kiss him lightly. "I'll see you in a few hours." I jump out of the back of the car. I grab my gun off the hood and slip my sneakers back on and run back to the house. I turn around once to wave at him before climbing up the side of the porch to sneak back into my room. When I get in I nearly jump out of my skin to see Aunt Karen sitting on my bed with a mug of coffee extended to me.

Before I can start coming up with excuses she just smiles and walks over to me. "Don't worry you secret is safe with me. " She says with a wink and leaves the room. I don't have a lot of alone time before the house is abuzz with action and Uncle Gabriel is here to take me to wherever he has planned the wedding for.

For the last week I knew they were planning something because they kept pulling Dean away to ask him questions but this is far beyond what I had every expected. We arrive on the porch of the room I had recovered in for a month after leaving Uncle Bobby's and Aunt Karen's. I look out to the front to see a portico standing on the beach decorated with flowers and chairs lining a small aisle. There are splashes of blue to compliment the ocean just a few yards past. To the left further up the beach I see the perfect seaside hut from my dreams that will house our reception. I whip around and smile at Uncle Gabe. "This is perfect." I move towards him and hug him tightly.

"I was worried the house would have to many bad memories for you but it seemed like the perfect spot." I look past him at where Dean rested while we were here and I see all the flowers I painstakingly took care of still look perfect. It was painful but with him back nothing will hurt like that again. "No, this is perfect."

Over the next few hours the house is abuzz with action. I find out that they built or dreamed up a guest house that Dean and Sam are getting ready in. Jo, Ellen, and Kate help me with my hair and makeup but I want just my Aunt Karen while I am getting actually dressed.

We get the dress finally on and buttoned up and we both stand next to each other looking at the mirror. It's the perfect dress for the simple yet beautiful wedding I want. The ivory silk looks great next to my skin compared to a harsh white. It is strapless with a heart shaped neckline and fitted to a high waist where it slightly loosens but stays close to my body till my feet. It is very simple minus the jewel incrusted belt that decorates the high waist of the dress. I slip on the ballet flats that will easily traverse the beach and lean into my Aunt. She looks stunning to. She is in a dark blue silk dress that is tea length. It is cut to fit her perfectly and I know my Uncle Bobby's eye will bounce out of his head with he sees her. They love each other so much and I love seeing how he still finds excuses to touch her even if I am in the room with them. Aunt Karen kisses the top of my head and wraps her arm around my shoulder. She is just a bit taller than me and the wedges she is wearing has almost towering over me. "You look beautiful honey. I know your mom would be so happy to be standing here with you."

I don't want to cry, this is a happy day, but my parents aren't here. My mom isn't here to put my dress on and my dad isn't here to walk me down the aisle. But I wouldn't trade my aunt for anything or anyone. I wouldn't say I wish my Aunt wasn't here it's just I really want my mom here too. I can feel the tears getting ready to come out when my aunt clasps something on my wrist. I look down at a delicate white gold bracelet with sapphires in it. It's the same one my mom always wore and the identical twin to my aunt's. "When your mom and I got married our mom gave us these bracelets. They were our something blue and something new. For you honey it's your blue and old. Your mom and dad will be watching today even if it's not from the first row with us." I turn around and hold my Aunt to me for a long time not wanting to let go.

There is a flutter in the room and I turn around slowly to see Uncle Gabriel standing with a small fifties style hat with a small veil. There are a few white feathers acting as decoration and it goes perfect with the simple style of my dress. He hands it to my Aunt Karen who clips it in my hair. The veil just covers my eyes and noise and dusts my lips. "Here is your something new and borrowed."

"Borrowed?" I ask him confused. He smirks and flashes me his wings. I just smile at him and take myself in. I'm getting married today. I am getting married to Dean today. "Thank you both so much for this."

They both hold me for a moment and I feel my aunts tears on my cheek as well. "Oh honey I love you so much. Having you with us these last years have been some of the happiest of my life. Your uncle and I never had kids of our own but honey you really are our daughter. I would do anything for you."

We stand there a few more moments until Uncle Gabe coughs lightly. "We should head down. I sent Balthazar to the guest house to get the boys ready." He extends his elbow to escort me down the stairs and out of the house.

Once we exit I can really take it in. Uncle Bobby and Jo are waiting for me at the end of the aisle and I see Luke, Rick, Adam, Ellen, and Kate already seated. Balthazar has a camera and is apparently the official camera man of the day. Uncle Cas is actually standing off to the side when I make it to Uncle Bobby. I pull him into a tight hug. "Thank you so much for saving him. I owe you my life for that."

I feel him smile into my neck. "I would have done it a 1000 more times to make you happy honey." He replies. He knows that he saved my life by bringing Dean back to me. I would never have survived without him.

"Shouldn't you be resting?" I saw the damage that demon did to him in hell and I know he will be on the mend for quite a while. He just smiles and shakes his head no. "I wouldn't miss this for the world." Balthazar appears while Aunt Karen helps escort Uncle Cas down the aisle to a seat near the front. Aunt Karen sits next to him lacing her arm through his.

Uncle Gabe moves to the front and I stand next to Uncle Bobby until they start. Balthazar cues music from somewhere and the harp fills the beach. I can't listen to the song though because at that moment I see Dean start to move to his spot at the altar beneath the portico. They could have been playing the flight of the bumble bee for all I cared. He looks up and finds me quickly and flashes me a knee melting smile. I take him in for a moment unable to look elsewhere. I want to run down the aisle and kiss him but I stay where I am knowing I'll be holding him soon. He looks amazing in his custom made tux. I see the blue tipped rose pinned to his tux matched my bouquet perfectly. Somewhere I know I notice Sam is next to him but I can't focus on him. Dean and mine eyes haven't left each other since we saw each other.

Uncle Bobby starts to pull on me and I notice that Jo has already made it down the aisle and it is my turn. I can't keep my eyes from Dean at the end waiting for me impatiently has Uncle Bobby escorts me down. When we stop I pass my bouquet off to Jo not wanting to be burdened by it any longer.

At the end I want to rush to Dean but Uncle Gabe stops us. "Who gives away the bride?" He asks. Uncle Bobby turns me to him and kisses my cheek while he lifts my veil over the top of my head. "I, her uncle do." He takes me hands and squeezes them in his.

"I love you so much honey. I am so proud to be able to do this for you today." He then takes my hands and places them in Dean's. Before I can help myself I raise on my toes and kiss Dean's lips softly. I hear Sam coughing behind him. "Lara you got to wait till after the ceremony." He hisses at me.

Dean flicks his head around and I know is giving Sam a taste of his own bitch face medicine. "She has to do nothing of the sort." Then whips back around and smiles at me and kisses me back softly. "You can kiss me whenever you want." I can't help but blush has he pulls me up to stand in front of Uncle Gabe.

I know this is a big moment for us but all I can do is focus on my hand in Dean's. I can't seem to stop staring in his eyes and luckily he can't stop staring into mine. Neither of us have stopped smiling since we say each other from separate sides of the aisle. The hand on my shoulder is what breaks me from my staring contest and I turn to see Uncle Gabe talking to me. He has to start again because I was not listening. "Lara you both wanted to write you own vows. You can begin now."

My face brightens as I turn back to face Dean. I grab his hands in both of mine and I squeeze them tight. "Dean I am still not quite sure how to verbalize what I feel for you. You are everything, my best friend, my hunting partner, my hustling partner, my drinking partner, my doctor, my chauffer, my fellow explorer, my protector, my soul mate, Uncle Bobby cover your ears for this one," I shot back to him," my lover, and soon to be my husband. Every ounce of me belongs to you and I give it to you willingly with no hesitation or reservations. There is nothing you could ask me that I wouldn't do for you and nothing that I want to do without you. I have known you since I was just five years old and even then when I couldn't recognize what the feeling was I knew I was yours. I cannot wait until we get to move forward from today as a single unit, just us against the world. From this moment forward I promise you that I will always love you, even when I am yelling at you or fighting you tooth and nail on some dumb decision you made. I promise that I will lean on you when I need to and hold you to me when you need it. I will nurture and cherish you until the day I die. Dean I love you so much and the day you told me you loved me back jumpstarted something in me that I can never life without again. I will go through it all with you and we will come out the other side closer and still in love. I will be your woman and you will be my man and nothing will come between us. I want to wake up seeing your face every morning and go to sleep holding you every night. I love you more than life itself Dean and I can't wait to be your wife."

Uncle Gabe looks to Dean whose eyes haven't left mine once. "Dean you can begin now." Before he can start he leans down and lightly kisses my lips. "Really guys!" Sam exclaims behind him. I can't even bothered by it and Dean just smirks at me.

"It just couldn't be helped." He tells me with a wink. "Lara I can say now that I have been in love with you for decades. All I want is for you to be happy. I would think of how your life would be without me and it would kill be but I wanted you to happy. When I could really dream I would imagine every way our lives could have gone and you know what in each version it ended with us together. That night that you told me you loved me I thought I had misheard you until you repeated it and I realized that you felt for me what I felt for you all those years. I realize how stupid we were to not just spit it out years ago but at the same time that night was just so magical I wouldn't trade it for anything. I thought of typical vows. To promise to love each other in sickness and in health, in richer or poorer, till death do us part. And I realize we've already done all of those tasks and came out closer. We have been together perfectly healthy and sicker than dogs. We went through my heart failing, we went through your attack when I really thought for a moment I had lost you, we went through us both being so near death that the only thing that would bring us back was the others blood and we gave it up willingly. We have been rich enough to stay in nice hotels while ordering room service and champagne and poor enough to share ramen noodles while camping out in baby in the dead of winter with only our shared body heat keeping us warm. We have already been through till death do us part and you know what, at the end of it I love you more and more every moment that passes. I don't want to be healthy or rich without you and I would take you poor and sick without blinking. You are my everything. Without you I don't think I could exists again. From this moment forward I can't wait to grab your hand and go up against that world knowing you are my partner, my wife, my soul mate. I love you Lara from the moment I meet you until the end of time. I still can't believe you agreed to marry me sometimes. I worry I will wake up and this will have been a dream but even if it was a dream it is well worth destroying my waking self over. I have obtained my greatest wish, to have you has my wife and to be with you forever. The djinn proved that to you if my words can't. I love you so much that I think my heart could just explode with it. I can't wait for this to be over an for us to walk down that aisle holding hands as husband and wife. I love you Mrs. Winchester from now till the end of time."

Before Uncle Gabe can continue I reach out and wrap my hands around Dean's neck and kiss him passionately. I don't care that everyone is watching and I bet Uncle Bobby is gaping at me right now. It's not until Sam and Jo pull us apart slightly rudely that we pull back and smile at each other. "Try not to act like sex starved teens for just a few more minutes." Sam whispers harshly at us but I can't help but to laugh. I look up at Dean and the moment out eyes meet we both burst out laughing.

Uncle Gabe waits a moment and begins again pointing to Jo. She hands him a ring and he hands it to me. I look down and I stifle happy cry. Dean grabs my hand for a moment worried about the tears in my eyes. My eyes meet his and I break into a watery smile. "This was my father's ring." I explain. He smiles back at me and Uncle Gabe starts again. "Repeat after me Lara. With this ring, I thee wed."

I slide the ring up Dean's fingers. "With this ring I thee wed."

"To have and to hold."

"To have and to hold." I tell Dean gazing into his eyes.

"From this day forth until the end of days."

This is an easy one to say. "From this day forth until the end of days."

"Sam please give Dean the ring." Sam hands Dean a wedding band and I let out a gasp when I see it's my mother's band as well. "Repeat after me Dean. With this ring I thee wed."

Dean takes my hands softly and slides the ring up until it meets with my engagement ring. "With the ring I thee wed."

"To have and to hold."

"To have and to hold from this day forth until the end of days." Dean looks up at Uncle Gabe and shrugs. "I want you to get to the good part faster." I see Sammy roll his eyes behind Dean but Uncle Gabe just laughs.

"Well I guess to the good part. Lara do you take Dean to be your husband from this day forth?" I don't even need to think about my answer. It's engrained in my soul. "I do."

Before Uncle Gabe can ask Dean he caresses the side of my face with his palm. "I do." He says loud and proud. Uncle Gabe just chuckle while Sam seems to get more frustrated. "Well then it is my great pleasure to say Dean you may kiss your bride."

Dean doesn't dive in like I know Sam thought he would. He takes a moment to just soak it all in. His hand lifts to my cheek and I lean into his palm and just close my eyes for a moment. This is a moment I have dreamt about but never thought would happen. He slowly closes the gap between us and kisses my lips taking my bottom lip between his has he pulls back slowly. Then he moves back in begging entrance into my mouth with his tongue lazily. It's like no one else is there. It's just us and we are finally one. I'm not quite sure how long the kiss lasts. It could have been a moment or forever but the next thing I know I hear my Uncle Gabe again. "It is an honor to be the first to introduce you all to Mr. and Mrs. Winchester." Dean pulls back and pulls my arm through his has he pulls be down the aisle our closest friends and family showering us with rose petals.

We get to the end of the aisle where he spin me around to face me and he kisses me again. "Mrs. Winchester." He mutters into my mouth. "Now that is something I have wanted to call you for a long time."

Everything after is a perfect and wonderful blur. Balthazar makes us take the requisite wedding photos of us with everyone in the wedding party and family and it goes on and on. At one point Dean and I are standing in front of the portico when he just kicks off his shoes and lifts me up bridal style and carries me into the ocean. "If we are going to get pictures they may as well be more like us!" He yells at Balthazar. I can't stop laughing has he carries us into the ocean and kisses me deeply before putting me down next to him. I know Balthazar is still flashing away and I can tell these are going to be the photos I love the most. Of course Balthazar couldn't stand our clothes being destroyed and graced them back to normal before we could join the rest of the party.

The reception is wonderful and we have fun eating and drinking with everyone that matters in our lives. Nothing about this day could be changed it's just so perfect. At one point I am dancing in Dean's arms and I look out to see Sammy and Jo dancing next to us, Aunt Karen and Uncle Bobby dancing, Ellen is with Luke, and Kate is even dancing with Rick. Behind them Adam is having a few drinks with Uncle Gabriel and Balthazar. Uncle Cas is sitting happily next to them laughing about something they are all talking about. I can even see Michael off to the side of them watching over his little brother, my savior for rescuing Dean. This is my perfect day. They even insist on some of the old traditions and I throw the bouqet which Jo catches and Dean slides my garter off that surprise surprise Sam catches.

There is even a gift table which I told them all not to get us but they all claim we will need things for our lives coming up. I don't need any of it. I just need Dean and I know he feels the same. A few hours into the reception Uncle Bobby nods and Dean and I know something is up. Dean pulls me back to the house while everyone else is enjoying themselves. When we get there Uncle Bobby and Aunt Karen are already sitting at the table with a few envelopes in front of them. They hand one to Dean and I see his scribble spelling out Lara on it. He hands it to me and I look at it waiting for him to explain.

"Since I was just a kid I have been putting money aside for Sammy. I knew he was going to need it one day because he wasn't meant to be a hunter like dad and me. Once I meet you I started to put money aside for you too. I know you had your parents and your aunt and uncle but I still felt like I needed to make sure I had something to give you if it ever came up. When Sammy went to school I gave him his savings account and told him he could use it for school or save it for later. He used a lot of it for school but still kept some. Before I died I gave Bobby the information for yours so he could give it to you a few years after I died has something I could give you to help you. It's not much but it's enough for us to start." I take the envelope in my hands and turn it around to open still unsure what Dean is really talking about. He never told me about this. I pull out the sheet of paper and read the numbers my eyes growing large.

"Dean this isn't a small amount how the hell did you save all this?" I screech out knowing I sound like a crazy person . He has an account with $50,254.15 in it for me. "We slept on the side of the road more times than I can count while you were saving this for me? I know when you were younger you would go without new clothes or food even and you had this?"

Dean looks at the floor obviously nervous about this conversation. "Honestly Lara even when I was 13 I thought I would be long gone by now. I saved every penny I could and at one point had Bobby help me invest it. I just wanted to be able to leave the most important people in my life something to take care of themselves with. I just want you to be happy and taken care of. I never thought of it as going without but you and Sammy having what you needed." I can't help myself even with my aunt and uncle in the room and I jump on him kissing him with all my might.

"Dammit Dean I fucking love you." I mutter into his lips as I kiss him deeper. He just smiles into my lips and kisses me back. "I fucking love you too Lara." He responds.

The coughing behind us makes us separate and I can't help but blush when I face my aunt and uncle again. "We have something to go over with you both as well." Uncle Bobby tells us. He hands Aunt Karen another envelope. She holds it for a moment and shoves it at me.

They share a glance and I know whatever this is will be big. "Honey when your parents died they left behind a lot of different things for you. Your uncle and I made sure to pack up their belongings and store it for you, we then sold whatever was left and put it an account. Your parents both also had really sizable life insurance policies. It was like they knew something could happen to them someday big. I know that we might seem like simple people sometimes but your Uncle Bobby does have a mind for numbers and he invested it for you and well just open it honey." I have never seen my Aunt this nervous.

My hands are shaking has I open the envelope in my hands. Dean's over mine to calm them and I lean into him knowing I'll never have to be alone again. I pull the pages out and once again this night I can't believe what I am reading. I look up at Dean making sure I read it right and since he is pale and slack jawed I guess I did. "This umm well this can't be right. It says 1,734,145.26 That just can't be right." I stutter out.

"Like your Aunt said I have a great mind for numbers. You should have seen what your parents and Dean started me with. I know I should have given this to you sooner but I know this is how your parents would have wanted it." He responds with a cocky grin.

"This can't be right. Growing up we just well no this is a joke right?" I ask them staring at the paper. Aunt Karen comes to my side and puts her arm around me. "This was never our money to spend honey. We saved it all for you so that you would have a break sometime. This will make it so much easier for you and Dean now."

"But you could have used this?" I ask but state unable to comprehend what is on this paper. Uncle Bobby just smile and shakes his head. "No we couldn't. As much as losing your parents devastated us all we were so happy to have you and we loved having you with us. We never wanted to take anything from you and I don't think we were ever lacking. We even had enough that your Aunt and I found ways to give hunters extra money when they dropped by. "

I still don't quite know what to do and just fall on my Uncle hugging him. "Thank you Uncle Bobby I love you too." I whisper into his ear. I can feel him smile as his arms come around me. "Come on honey let's get you to say good bye to your guests like I know you and Dean have been wanting to do for hours." I give him a stunned look and he just winks at me.

We all head back to the party and we hug everyone good bye and soon it is just Uncle Cas, Uncle Gabe, Dean and I. I notice the look that Balthazar gives us all before he takes everyone home, it's almost sad. Once everyone is gone Uncle Gabe and Cas share a look that looks nervous and Uncle Gabe takes my arm to escort us back to the main house.

Once inside he makes sure I take a seat on the sofa and waits till Dean sits down next to me. He hands me a key and I look at it confused. "Before I get into the really hard stuff I just wanted to give you both my wedding present. I designed this island for you both damn near millennia ago. The house is newer I put it up a few months ago when I brought Lara here to heal after you died. I knew you would both need a place to escape to that was warded against just about everything and was peaceful in your lives. If you put that key in any door when you turn it and open it you will be here. When you want to come back all you need to do is put the key back in the front door, turn it, and be back where you were. I know it's too far from your family to live here but I wanted you both to have a safe haven to be able to relax it." How many more ridiculous surprises can I take tonight?

After Dean's check, Uncle Bobby and Aunt Karen's revelation, I just take this in stride. I jump up and give Uncle Gabe a tight hug. "This is wonderful and way too much but thank you so much." I tell him while he holds me to his chest. I feel Dean stand behind me and put his hand on Uncle Gabe's back. "Lara is right this is way too much but thank you so much."

"Why don't you both sit back down." Uncle Gabe says nervously. We take a seat and Dean puts his arm around me pulling me to him. My uncles share another glance that makes my stomach drop. They are scared.

Uncle Cas stands up painfully and stands next to his brother. I can tell he is not healed yet. Uncle Gabe takes in a deep breath and looks at me. "Honey you know that I love you so much and nothing will ever change that. Nothing you could ever do would change how I, Castiel, Balthazar, or even Michael feel about you ever. But you know that someday I would come to you to ask a great favor well honey today is that day."

Dean's arm tightens around me and I lean into him. "Why today of all days?" It goes without saying that what I mean is why my wedding day.

"Well you remember when you were younger and on that date with Travis?" Uncle Cas asks me. I shake my head kind of remembering him visiting me at the restaurant. "We asked you to remain pure until you were married. We would not have cared if you didn't because we love you but we had to ask, heaven required us asking this." He stops looking at his brother nervously. "I can't Gabriel I am sorry."

Uncle Gabriel gives him a sad smile and escorts him back to his seat and stands in front of us again. "Let's just rip the band aid off shall we? There has been a set of events sent into motion that could end in the apocalypse." I know our jaws drop but he gives us a sad smile. "It is not set in stone but the possibility is there. Part of heaven's plan in case it does is making sure there is a team on earth that can destroy Lucifer and the anti Christ. You both are that plan."

Dean and I look at each other in otter confusion but Uncle Gabe keeps going. "We might as well get this all out there but Dean you are a very special vessel designed to be able to accept my brother Michael into his body in case the apocalypse happens." Before Dean can freak Uncle Gabe keeps going. "You can say no of course and we would never force you but you are."

The room is silent for a moment and Uncle Gabe's gaze falls on me again. "Honey you are another very powerful quite possibly the most powerful vessel to ever live. Your body could accept anything from a low level angel to God himself. Your blood line has been planned since the beginning of time with one task in mind, to house, give birth to, and raise the second coming of Christ."

a/n well that ended up longer than I thought it would. I hope you liked it. Let me know what you thought!


	63. Chapter 63

Dean's Pov

"Honey you are another very powerful quite possibly the most powerful vessel to ever live. Your body could accept anything from a low level angel to God himself. Your blood line has been planned since the beginning of time with one task in mind, to house, give birth to, and raise the second coming of Christ." I feel like I misheard something. I look over at Lara who is wrapped in my arms and her face has the same confused look I know I have. "Um hey Gabriel wanna run that by us again?" I ask him utterly confused.

The angel doesn't seem to upset to have to explain it again more worried we are going to snap. "Heaven planned for Lara to be born so we could have the perfect vessel to be able to conceive and house the second coming of Christ here on earth."

We are all quiet for a moment. I don't move until I feel Lara move in my arms. I look down at her and she is still just as overwhelmed as I am. This isn't right. She is still dressed in her wedding dress and looks so beautiful. We should just be enjoying our wedding night not whatever this is. "OK so apparently I did hear you right the first time. But I am going to need you to be a bit more exact on... well... exactly, what the fuck you plan on doing to my wife?" Huh wife that sounds strange off my tongue but I like it.

"You just called me your wife?" Lara says with awe. I look at her and break into a big smile. "Yeah I did, that's what you are now." We are unable to keep ourselves from kissing before we remember there are two angels trying to change our lives drastically in front of us.

Cas tries to stand up to come over to us but it is obvious he is exhausted and ends up falling back down in his seat. "The bible didn't quite get everything right. Lucifer didn't fall until long after Adam and Eve. God had many of the angels come to earth as humans and procreate with the humans. He let them think he was letting them do something special when in reality he was just planning. It also helped vary the mating pool. They were not nephelim but the beginnings of family lines that could be vessels."

"How did you know about that?!" Gabriels asks Cas. He just gives his brother a small smile. "I'm not dumb brother. I may not have been one of the angels asked to create the vessels but I could figure out why all the arch angels and many of our strongest leaders went to earth sometimes multiple times. Then why some of you followed certain families so closely once you got back."

Gabriel seems shocked at what his brother is saying but Cas keeps going. "Dean your family line descends from Michael and Lucifer. That is why you can hold Michael. You are from his line."

Um did I just hear that right? Michael and Lucifer? "So I can hold the devil too?" What the fuck is happening. Cas shakes his head no. "Absolutely not. You are made for Michael. Many of Lucifer's and Michael's line can hold other angels but you are for him only. In fact part of my line is from Raphael's but this is not Raphael's vessel."

"So how does this make me such a great vessel?" Lara asks still confused how she fits into this. Hell I am confused to how we fall fit in to this.

Gabe looks at Cas and I know he wants to be the one to finish this. "You are the first human born with all the lines of the archangels. Your mother's line has her father being from Michael's line and her father from mine. Then your father's line has his mother with Raphael's line and father with Lucifer's line." Oh yea like that is supposed to explain anything.

"Your saying my parents were both vessels? But I only ever remember you ever using my mom as one and even that was only a few times at most." Lara has a hard time talking about her parents still and I never knew about the angels let alone they used to use her mom as a vessel.

There is their shared glances again and I know that Cas will be the one finishing this. "Lara you know your parents loved you very much right?" She shakes her head yes. "That will never change. They loved you so much and they were so happy when Betsy gave birth. They both sat in the hospital bed crying with joy when they held you for the first time. But... well your father Frank was barren. I came to my vessel James Novak when he was just a young teenager and asked him to donate sperm so that your mother could have you."

Oh fuck. This shouldn't be happening. Not tonight. Today is a happy day not the day they take away her childhood. "NO! You are lying! He was my daddy! He loved me!" She shouts out them burying her face in my side. I can feel her tears and I pull her close and shoot daggers at them with my eyes.

"Why the fuck do you need to bring this up now? This is not the day for this. I want you both to leave." I shoot at them. Both their faces fall but Gabriel moves closer and rests his hand on her shoulder. "I said leave! What is confusing about that? Get the fuck out of here!" I scream at them.

Of course he won't listen he just has to keep going. "Frank loved you very much Lara. He always thought of you as his daughter and loved you with all his heart. He knew though. Betsy and him wanted children so bad they didn't care that they had a sperm donor. And I am sorry but this has to happen tonight."

"WHY!" She shouts of them. I can tell she is seething. She leaves me side and jumps and gets in his in face as much as her short stature will allow her. "This is my fucking wedding day and you have to come in here and start messing with what few good memories I have of my parents."

"You have to be a virgin for it to work Lara." Gabriel sighs out unwilling to yell back at her. Lara takes a step back and before she can fall over I jump up and catch her. "Are you kidding me?" I shout at them.

I can tell by the grim look on their faces that they aren't kidding. Gabriel reaches out to grab Lara but she flinches into me. "For her to house the Christ child she has be a virgin and she has to accept it of her own free will. We also hope you will choose to raise the child as your own. He needs a strong and loving father figure to get him through the trails of this life. But if we are lucky maybe it will never happen and you can all live a regular life."

The room is silent for a moment except for Lara's sobs. "You are telling me that you want to agree to become pregnant right now today. To have my first child not even be Dean's and you want me to make him raise it like his own? All for an apocalypse that may or may not happen?" Well I'm glad she summed that one up for me because I was having a hard time coming up with a retort.

Both the angels shake their heads slowly. "Yes that is what we are asking of you. I know it is a great favor to ask but the human race will need him if the time comes. I promise you that you will have a relatively normal childhood with him though. He will not be called upon until he is an adult."

"You have got to be fucking kidding me! Is this why you have watched over me my entire life? Is this why Uriel gave his life for me? All so I could have this child for you, for heaven." I can hear the fight leaving her and being replaced with sadness.

Cas manages to get up and both the angels move to hug her and this time she allows them. "That is why we were assigned to you yes but we love you very much. I told you what you decided would not change how we feel for you. It is your decision." I can tell that Gabriel isn't lying. He will love her no matter what but what he isn't saying is that it will only be him, Cas, Balthazar, and Michael who will care for her still.

"What about the others?" I ask out loud. They all look at me and I continue. "The other angels what will they think if Lara says no. What will God say if she says no?" I have to know what kind of risk she is in.

Both of their faces fall and Cas grabs Lara's hand. "The other angels will be angry and some of them may try to attack you but we will keep you safe. God will be disappointed but he was the one who said it was your choice."

Oh great all the angels will be hunting her down if she says no. That shouldn't be too hard to fight against oh no not at all. "If she says yes will she get hurt? You are saying she will be housing the Christ child that seems like quite a power and I could see how this could go very wrong."

Gabe shakes his head no. "She will be not be harmed. He loves his mother very much and would never hurt her. In fact while she is pregnant with him nothing can really touch her. The child's essence will lash out and kill anything that tries to hurt them both to insure he is born."

"He loves me?" Lara squeaks out. Gabriel's face softens and he puts his two fingers to Lara's forehead and I can see a smile spread across her face and then a happy sob catch in her throat. "That's what he feels about me?" He just shakes his head yes fondly at her.

"This seems crazy and risky. If the demons find out they will try to kill her and him for sure. Not only that you want her to then be willing to hand her son over to the apocalypse when the time comes. I will not sit here and watch my brand new family be put at risk. I just said vows that I will stand by her until the end of time and protect her. I will not in the first 5 hours put her in danger. You couldn't protect her from demons that night she was attacked how can I believe you can now?" I know I sound petty but she is my everything. I just can't risk it.

"Every angel, and there are more than I can even express to you, will die for Lara and her son if it comes down to it. I cannot promise she will never be hurt because I know you both will not give up hunting but we will do our best to protect her. I love Lara very much Dean. She comes from my line. She is possibly my 1000 great grand daughter and I would burn this planet to the ground before something happens to her." Lara stops him from getting angry just with a touch of her hand. "Uncle Gabe let him feel what I felt. It will explain it to him." Her eyes look still a little glazed over.

I don't miss the nod that Cas gives Gabriel from over Lara's head. "For that dear I would need you to accept the holy spirit into your body. He asked if it was needed to be able to talk to Dean." He wants her to what?! I grab Lara and pull her to the safety of my arms.

"No one is possessing Lara, you go that!" I scream at them. Lara puts her arm around me and squeezes me trying to calm me down.

Gabe tries to reach out to us and I pull her back further. "It would not be for long Dean. The holy spirit is the part of the Christ child that stays in heaven when he is on earth. It is the god like part of him while he walks amongst you. He would never hurt Lara and he said he had a message for you if it came down to it."

Lara pulls on me and I look down at her. "Dean it is ok. I felt his love he would never hurt me. Let him talk to you. I know it will explain what they cannot."I don't want her to do this but she seems convinced it will be alright. I promised her I would treat her like a partner from here on our so I give her subtle nod that I know only she will catch. "Not quite sure how to do this but holy spirit you are welcome into my body."

It doesn't take long for her body to go from slumped to upright again and I can tell she is not the one driving the car. It's just little things about the way she is standing and how she is squaring her shoulders. She then turns to me and I can tell in her eyes she's different. "Dad!" She shouts and latches on me. I nearly fall over but manage to stay upright a little caught off guard. It's also a little weird to have your new wife calling you dad in earnest. Whoever is driving her must notice I am a little uncomfortable and takes step back. I can see the hurt in her eyes and Gabriel moves to put his arm around her and whisper something in her ear. She just shakes her head. "I am sorry dad I forgot myself for a minute. You haven't agreed to anything yet and you don't remember me."

"Remember you?" How would I have meet him before. The being in Lara must notice I am confused and just chuckles in a way so different from how Lara does. "When you were in heaven in the temple of the souls we were all together before you and then mom was born. We were together for a very long time. Normally we are not supposed to share those memories with humans on earth but there was one you told me to share with you if this time came and you weren't what sure what to do. If you would allow me I will show you and walk through it with you." The being seems so sincere that I can't help but shake my head yes.

Lara walks towards me and before I can really take in how different she is walking her hand is to my forehead and I am transported to a memory. I look around and this must be the temple of the souls he spoke of. I see a version of me sitting next to Lara. They are relaxing together with their limbs intertwined laughing at some private joke. I feel a presence next to me and I turn to see a young man about my height but with a slightly slimmer frame. He has Lara's dark raven hair and sapphire eyes. "Are you the Christ child?" I ask him. He shakes his head yes but points at the scene beyond Lara and me.

Not too far from us I see him with another family. I can tell it is him but he looks younger. "When we are here we can change how we are perceived sometimes we choose it other times our emotions will change it for us." I see him standing to the side of a man hugging what must be his wife and many children. The version of the child next to me tries to go and hug him but he keeps him at arms length. "Jesus this is really a family affair you shouldn't be here." I see his shoulders slump and his age slip a few years as he steps back.

The me holding Lara sees all of this and his eyes turn dark. He whispers something to her and she nods and watches him leave. I age a bit as I am walking and go to the child who is leaving the temple with a heavy heart. We both follow them out. Right outside the door I catch up to the boy and pick him up in my arms. For awhile he just cries on my shoulder. "Let it out. I am here. I'll always be here for you." He soothes the boy. After a while he stops crying but I still keep him in my arms and walk over to a pond near the entrance of the temple.

"I'm sorry I got so upset. I know that Joseph isn't my father but I wanted to wish him well before he was born." The child sounds so sad. "Will I be able to be there when you go? I know I'm not you son either he has reminded me of that enough."

"Joseph is an asshole and you know it." The child seems to smirk at my crass response can I even cuss in heaven? "Don't let him tell you that you aren't my son. You are just as much my son as the others. I love you very much and you know what. I might have to kick Joe's ass one more time before he leaves to remind him how he will treat MY son the first time you go to earth."

The boy seems happy by my words and jumps on me. We give each other a tight hug and I can see the love in my eyes has I hold him to me. "You are my son don't you ever forget that. I promise that when Lara and I have you I will make up for all the crap Joe gives you the first time on earth. I still can't believe that at one point they are going to actually let you get crucified. I just got in a fight with Michael about that again today. I kind of hope at the time Mary says no but Michael said I have no say over the matter and I told him if anyone so much as touches a hair on your head when you are my son I will torture them for decades. You don't have to do it you know that right?"

The boy just smiles into my neck. "I know dad but I want to. It will only be a moment of pain compared what will happen to mankind if I don't. And besides after I know I will be back here with you and mom."

"I am still going to see if somehow they can get me there for you at the last moments. I can't let you go through that alone. Your mom can't even talk about it without breaking down. She and Mary have been lamenting it and are begging the angels and god to come up with another plan." I can't believe this version of me. He is talking about all of heaven's plans like it is normal.

"No dad it is fine. We all have our trials. Heck at one point you actually go to hell to save Uncle Sammy." I hold him for a bit longer before picking him up and taking him back to the temple.

I look at the man next to me and he is smiling. "You always made sure I felt loved here. My other mom loved me greatly but Joseph just never quite warmed to me."

"Was I there for you?" I blurt out not quite sure where that came from . He just smiles and shakes his head. "Somehow you convinced Gabriel to let you switch spots with one of the other crucified men so you could be with me. They wrote it wrong in the bible but you were nailed up next to me and kept eye contact with me the entire time while sending me words of encouragement. You made it easy for me to be strong. You let me know I was loved and reminded me why I was doing what I was doing. Mom was furious at you for not telling her before but then also kissed you wildly for being there for me. When I first got back she made me turn into a toddler so she could hold me decades on end after seeing what happened on earth."

"What happens now?" I ask him still unsure how this is actually happening to us. His eyes are so sad and I can see the discouraged shrug he gives me. I recognize the look in his eyes. He doesn't feel good enough. "You and mom decide if you will have me or not. I don't blame you if you don't. I know I am not really your son and..." Before he can finish I pull him into a tight hug.

"I think I made it clear that you are. Let's go back and I'll talk with Lara and we will figure this out." Before we leave the memory completely I look at him once more. "I look forward to seeing you again soon."

When I come to again I am laying out on the sofa and Lara is laying on top of me. As we come to I know it's just Lara. "I saw your memory Dean." She tells me softly just between us and not the angels. I shake my head. "Dean what do we do?" She asks me.

"I will go with whatever you agree to Lara but I think we both know what your answer it." I tell her. She lowers her face and kisses me softly. "No Dean it has to be our answer and what is yours?"

I put my arms around her and whisper in her ear. "Yes, my answer is yes." I hear her let out a sob before I feel a tear hit my cheek. I lift her up a bit so I can see her and she gives me a watery smile. "I am glad you said yes because if you said no it would have hurt so much but it had to be both of us wanting this. Wanting him."

"I want him." I say pulling her to me. I almost forgot the angels were still here but Gabriel coughs and we both look at them. "So you will do this Lara?" He asks her hopefully.

Lara gets off me slowly and we both stand up to face him. "Yes we will do this." She says with the emphasis on we and grabs my hand. "What do I need to do?" She asks.

"Nothing at all. I will just transfer his essence into you and you will be pregnant. But I am not totally cruel and know it is still your honeymoon so until it is over I will make sure he is protected so you can eat, drink, hell smoke anything you want. I know for a fact there is a bottle of champagne chilling in your room that Dean demanded we have waiting for you and I won't let you miss all that. Once you are back home though it will change and you will need to be like any normal pregnant person minus the fact you are caring a very special baby." He explains it all to us.

"What if something happens?" I ask the angels nervously pulling Lara into me. I won't know how to help her in that case. They both smile at us and Gabriel puts his hand on my shoulder. "You pray for me then and I will be there in just a moment to fix it."

"Well let's do this." Lara states obviously trying to stay brave and strong. "Can Dean stay?" She asks nervously. Gabriel shakes his head yes and I hold her tighter.

Gabriel lifts his hand out and a little ball of light starts to appear. It starts as a spark and then starts to grow. "That's our son?" I ask out. Gabriel flashes me a big smile. "Yes that is your son." Once the ball is about the size of a tennis ball he walks to Lara and moves the ball to her abdomen. "This won't hurt but please stand still."

Lara tenses and I keep my arm around her while Gabriel makes his hand to go flush to her stomach the ball of light disappearing into Lara. For just a moment I think nothing will happen but then Lara's head shoots back. Before I can see what is happening Gabriel has his hands over my eyes. "It's nothing Dean just the grace taking root." By the time he is done talking the room is no longer bright and his hand is gone. Lara leaning on my heavily obviously a little weakened by what just happened so I knell down in front of her supporting her with my body. "Are you alright?" I ask frantically.

Her head shakes for a moment and her hand moves to her stomach. "I am fine Dean. It was just a shock for a moment but I am fine no I'm great." She then raises her head and I can tell in her blue eyes she isn't lying and is fine. She latches herself on me and kisses me deeply. "Thank you Dean."

I laugh into her mouth. "Why?" What have I done that she should be thanking me. "You said yes. We are going to have a baby."

Holy shit! I haven't quite thought of it like that. My hand flicks out and finds her resting over her womb. "We have a child in there." I say with awe. She shakes her head enthusiastically. "We do." We just stay still for a moment soaking in that fact. Lara is with child at this moment.

By the time we have come back to our senses we look up to see the angels are gone. In their place is a note on the coffee table.

_Lara and Dean,_

_We took the liberty of filling the fridge for you and having Jo and Sam pack for you. This will be the perfect spot to spend time alone together. In a week we will be a back to take you home but if you want to come back for some reason beforehand you have the key. _

_Love_

_Gabriel_

After reading the note together looks up at me and smirks. "You ready to not to leave the nearest bed for a week just like you promised?" She asks. I don't respond with words and quickly lean down to pick her up in my arms. Once I get her securely in them I lean down and take her lips. "You better believe it... Mrs. Winchester."

Lara guides me to the master bedroom with moans and hand motions as we nearly devour each other on the way. I get us up to the room finally and put her down on her feet once we passed the threshold and are next to the bed. I see the champagne I requested with two glasses and even a bowl of strawberries. I run over and pop the cork and pour it into the two glasses and hand her one. "To our future, love." I say as we toast. "To our future." She responds resting her hand lightly over her stomach.

We both see another note on the bed with Lara's name on it. She picks it up and reads it quickly blushing in the process. "What is it?" I ask trying to read over her shoulder. She just pushes me a way and smiles. "It's a surprise. Why don't I got change into something more comfortable. You get ready here and I'll be right back."

I like the look in her eyes as she moves to the bathroom flashing me a sultry glance before shutting the door behind her. After her little show last night I haven't been able to think of anything else but this moment. It's not that I haven't wanted to make love to her every waking moment since I have been back but she told me as a teen she wanted to wait till she was married and I wasn't going to be the one to take that from her. Now I am glad I didn't or we would not be getting that child I just meet. I gets my shoes and socks off then throw my jacket on a chair. I get the belt and tie off and unbutton my shirt while I go for another sip of my drink.

The door to the bathroom opens and Lara fills my plan of vision completely and I can't help but drop my glass on the floor completely forgotten about has I am pulled to her. "You look stunning Lara." I try to get out as I cross the room to get to her. She is an ivory silk rob covering an extremely sexy lace corset and small itty bitty panties I want to rip off. I think I just found my favorite clothes ever, well if the small pieces of lacy fabric can even be classified as clothing. There are ivory stockings attached to garters coming up her glorious legs that I can't wait to peel off. She blushes a bit and looks down at the floor for a moment. I raise her chin with my finger and kiss her lips softly. "You are so beautiful Lara. I can't believe I am about to make you mine."

It takes me a while to want to move from our spot standing by the door. I just want her and being separated even long enough to move to the bed seems like too much for me right now. "I know it seems funny after how much I have pressured you these last few days but now that it's here I'm a bit nervous. What if I am terrible." She tells me shyly. "I just want you to enjoy it too." I can tell what she is thinking without saying it. She knows I was a bit of slut in my past and she hopes she's not a disappointment.

I wrap my arms around her and pull her into me and kiss her lightly. "After I got back and I had to get Gabriel to put my anti possession tattoo back I realized this is a new body. Tonight is just as much my first time as yours. There is no way I won't enjoy it because it's you." Before she can respond I pick up her and carry her to the bed laying her out. She looks up at me with such trust and happiness that it makes me want to hold her to me and never let her go. Her bright blue eyes are staring back at mine and I know I could drown in their sapphire pools. "I should have been telling you every day since I realized I loved you all the thing I love about you. While I was on the rack I had all the time in the world to commit to memory every part of your body I am in love with."

My fingers slip into the knot holding the robe together and I pull them through the silk to loosen it. I start by tracing my fingers over her cheek bones. "Your eyes are the first thing I always thought of. They are so beautiful and expressive. You have always been able to tell me everything I needed to know with just a glance. Even when we are old and wrinkled you will be looking at me with those same stunning eyes and I will remember every reason I feel in love with you." I lean down and kiss her lips. I just brush my lips against hers at first. "Then your lips. God how I thought of them in hell. They are the most beautiful shade of pink and so soft against mine. I would close my eyes and remember how you tasted." Then I kiss her deeply. I beg entrance with my tongue and she grants it willingly. "You taste like spring and I can't get enough of it." I moan into her mouth. Her hands reach up to hold me and I grab them loosely and pull them over her head. "No, right now is for me to worship you."

I pull the silk robe off her shoulders and trace down the slope of them and over her collar bones. "I never knew collar bones could be so sexy until I saw yours." I trace my tongue over them and she moans out as she lifts her body into mine. I pull her up and slip the robe off her body and lay her back down softly while I lift her arm and kiss down her forearm. "Who would have thought the plane of your arm could make me want you. It's so soft and I know I will be the only one to ever kiss up and down every inch of your body." I link our fingers together as I stare at how our hands link so perfectly. "Your hands are a thing of wonder. Your slender fingers could have done anything they set their minds too but they choose to train and become deadly, that yes does turn me on. Your hands are soft and lady like yet beneath that I can smell the hint of gun oil under the nails and it just makes me want you all the more."

The next part is like unwrapping a present. I start to unsnap the front of the lacey corset and slowly and painfully free her chest to me. I move my hands to her breast and splay them over her perfect body. "It's almost like your breasts were made for my hands. Do you feel how perfectly they fill them?" I move my hands and lean down and take her nipple in my mouth and suck lightly. I love how her body moves against mine and the soft moans she lets out. "Needless to say your nipples are perfection. They are like small rose buds that were placed on this earth just for me." I trace down to her stomach and move my hands over her abdomen. "I've always loved the planes of your stomach. When you wear those short tops I always wanted to trace the line of flesh that was always showing. It was torture and heaven all at once." I rest my hands on her hip bones and grab them pulling her up as kiss from bone to bone across her stomach. "Your hip bones have always been these magnets to me just pulling me to you." I trace the band of her rosary tattoo and stop on the only bead that is not black. "What is the green for?" I ask her.

Her eyes flutter open and I am lost once again in their pools. She grabs my hand and pulls it to her cheek leaning into the warmth. "When I lost you..." She chokes up a moment and restarts. "I knew your bead had to be special. I worked with the tattoo artists who did out possession tattoos for hours to get the right shade of green. The shade to match your eyes." I can't help but to kiss her and hold her just for a moment.

"I'm so sorry for leaving you." She just holds me to her for a moment. "It's ok you came back that's all that matters."

For a moment we just lay there holding each other but I want to go back to what I was doing and letting her know every part of her body that I missed. I go back to her lower half and grab her left leg lifting it up and unsnapping the stockings. I pull it slowly off kissing her leg down to her toes as I pull. I then start with the right leg and repeat. "I have always loved your legs. Every part of them in everything from inside a pair of jeans and bare with heels on. I always thought how they were formed to wrap around me has I loved you over and over again." Her legs wrap around me and pull me to her. "Just like that. God how I have dreamed about this. See how perfect that feels." I feel the soft skin of her legs on my hips and I want to just grab her and dive in but I'm not ready yet. I grab her legs and loosen them then flip her over.

"Dean?!" She laughs out an I lean down and kiss her between the shoulder blades. "You don't think I forgot about your backside did you?" I respond with a laugh.

I trace over her shoulder blades and I watch as her skin raises. "Shoulder blades shouldn't be sexy but I can't wait to sleep with my face buried between them while I hold your naked body to me. " I lean down and kiss down her spine and lick my way back up to the nape of her neck where I leave a kiss. "Your back makes me just as hard as your front. There isn't a part of you I don't want." I splay my hands over her butt. "I was never an ass man but damn Lara you could convert me."

As much as I want to worship her back side I want her looking at me again so I pull back and flip her back over. She grabs at my shirt and pulls it off me quickly. "You look over dressed." She says with a smirk. I jump up and kick off my pants and lean back over her. We are both just down to our underwear.

I trace the line of her panties that run low on her hips. She moans and I can't get over how responsive she is. I hook my pointer fingers into the thin silky sides of her panties and pull them down. I am surprised what I find and just stare for a moment. "Surprise." She laughs out. My mark is still there. Dean Winchester's, it says right above her sex in my handwriting. "I couldn't lose it. I made Uncle Gabe burn it into me forever." I lean down and kiss the mark softly. I move back up to her mouth and can't help but pour my desire into the kiss.

"It's really fucking hot Lara." I pant out to her. She laughs and pulls me to her. We just kiss for a while and explore each other's bodies. I can hardly think with Lara's hands tracing every inch of me. Her hands start to trace a line around the top of my boxer briefs and she starts to pull on them. I help her get them off and it's just us, nothing left between us. I know this is her first time and that is going to hurt but I am going to do everything I can to make it good for her. I trail my hands from her neck, between her breasts, down over her stomach, and slowly move my fingers inside of her. I know the moment I find the spot I was looking for when her head flings back and she exposes her neck to me arching off the bed. I take a moment to kiss her neck and leave my mark. "I love you so much Lara."

My free hand finds her right hand and I link our fingers above her head has I move my right hand in and out of her loving every sound she is moaning out. "I love you just as much Dean." She purrs out. "Please I can't..." She cries out as I move faster and make sure to stimulate her in just the right way. I feel her body tense and I take her mouth as she cries out into my lips and clenches over my fingers. "Dean I... god that was... wow." She manages to get out. She is relaxed and feeling good and hopefully stretched enough that it won't hurt too bad.

My dick is pulsing and I know if it doesn't find it's home in her soon I will be consumed by the desire and burn up. I line up with her and put my hands around her face. "Are you ready?" I ask her needing to make sure she is truly ready for this. She smiles and shakes her head yes. "I have been ready for this for a long time Dean.'

I slowly enter her and feel her welcome me home. God she is so tight but I have to move slow has I become one with her taking her as mine. I keep my eyes locked with hers and can see the discomfort on her face. Once I am fully in I wait a moment for her to adjust to my size. "Are you alright love?" I ask her feeling terrible for any pain I am causing her.

She shakes her head and lets out a breath. "Just give me a minute." She says as I feel her body start to relax beneath me. I move by hands to her breast and start to massage them wanting her to forget the discomfort below. I lower my face and kiss her nipples softly then trace my tongue around each one. I then take them one at a time into my mouth and pull on them lightly. She bucks up and I can feel her get more comfortable.

Her hands rest on my hips and she pulls on them. "Move, slowly." She whispers out her eyes hooded and her head thrown back. I move out so slowly I think my body will explode but I move in just as painfully slowly back and wait for her to show she is ready for more. "More Dean." She moans out. I increase my pace slightly and move back out and come back in with a bit more force and a little faster. I keep up that rhythm while working her up into a frenzy. I love knowing I will be the only man to reduce her to a mumbling mess. "God Dean more!" She moans out as I move in and out of her a little faster. I feel her nails digging into my back and I want more.

"Dean I can't..." She moans out as I continue to build her up more and more. "Just hold on a bit longer baby." I moan out in shock that I have been able to hold off this long. "Dean please... I have too..."

I lean down and kiss her. "Let go..." I moan into her lips as I feel my body ready to cum. She cries out into my lips and I feel her walls tighten around me spurring me to my own completion. I fall down and quickly flip us so she is resting on my chest and lay there spent inside of her, home for the first time. "Lara that was... I just..." I try to get it out but how to explain how perfect that was. How amazing that was. I am officially addicted and have a feeling we won't be able to around people for a while. "I love you Lara." I whisper out as I run my fingers through her hair.

"I love you Dean, so much. I am so glad that I was able to give you that part of myself." She mutters into my chest. I pull her closer and kiss the top of her head.

"Going to hell was no ideal but I am glad that it allowed me to give you that part of me too." I tell her back. I never regretted sleeping around when I was younger but now I wish I had waited for her. In a way I was able to now.

"We have a lot of lost time to make up for." She says with a laugh still spread out over my body a boneless mess. I laugh and run my fingers up her spine. "We aren't leaving this bed for a week so I have a feeling we will make up for it."

a/n I hope you all liked it. I didn't get a lot of feedback last chapter so let me know what you thought. Hope you all are having a good new year so far.


	64. Chapter 64

Lara's POV

Heaven is here. Heaven has been our week together. There is nothing that I want, nothing that I need. I have it all. I have Dean and he has me and we are complete. We have left our bed this week but we haven't stopped making love almost the entire time. It took us a day but we did manage to leave the bed just long enough to make love in the shower. Then again bent over the sink in the bathroom. I really liked that one. I could us in the mirror while he took me from behind.

_The mirror is foggy from us being in the shower way to long but it is so worth it. I am getting exactly what he promised me. An entire week of just us, no one to bother us, not even clothes to get between us. This is more than I could have ever dreamed about. With him being taken from me for those four months this is even more precious. I need him all the more for it. _

_ We both grab our towels and help the other dry off gently taking the terry cloth over our partner. I take my towel down Dean's back and chest and over his legs while he smirks at me. He then takes his and takes the soft fabric over my arms lifting them up as he moves them. Then down my chest even gently drying off my breast. He gets on his knees to dry my legs and I can't help but smile at him. He then gets up and takes the towel down my back and pulling my hair off my neck. The towel drops into a pile at my feet as he kisses the back of my neck. "I want you so bad Lara. It doesn't feel like I just had you a moment ago in the shower it seems like an eternity." _

_ "I know what you mean Dean." I drag my hand across the mirror so I can see us together in it. His emerald green eyes meet my gaze in the mirror and despite the fact he has seen me naked for a day now I blush has his eyes devour my body in the mirror. "Take me Dean." I moan out falling into his naked chest. _

_ Despite our need he is still gentle has he pushes me forward, making sure I am comfortable. My hands fall onto the counter supporting my weight and I feel butterflies in my stomach has his hand wraps around my waist pulling me into him. He lays his chest over my back and kisses my neck down to my shoulder. "You are so fucking gorgeous Lara. I can't believe I get to call you my wife, till death do us part." _

_ The feeling of him digging into me forces a very unlady like sound from my lips. "I'm yours beyond that Dean." I moan out has he enters me. My breath hitches has he bottoms out in me. I look into the mirror to see my eyes lust blown on my body connected to Dean's in every way possible. His left hand is braced on the counter making sure not to put too much of his weight on me while his right hand is traversing every part of my body he can grab. _

_ When he finally starts to move I am pretty sure I see stars. I shout out unable to contain myself any longer. "Harder Dean!" I exclaim has he pulls out and slams back into my body. We can't keep the pace long our bodies are too sensitive from the almost 28 hours love fest we have been in ensnared in and before I know it we are both cumming and falling to the ground holding each other laying on our long forgotten towels. _

At one point we had to eat so of course we made our way down stairs to the kitchen where we thoroughly debauched that room as well. To be honest on the 4th day I was too sore to do much else but lay down and relax. Dean picked me up and laid me down in a bubble bath and snuck in behind me. We were in there so long we got turned into prunes before we left. We spent the rest of the day on the beach relaxing in the hot sand while we listened to the waves crash. I may have found a second wind and jumped on him in the sand right there in the open. We have lost any inhibitions we would have back in the real world.

We did manage to open our wedding gifts and write out thank notes on the 5th day. We sat on the back deck and opened them one at a time while sipping on beers. We have decided not to think about my pregnancy for the time being and just enjoy being a newlywed couple. Sam got us a new camera and we may or may not have put that to good use later that night, not that we will be letting anyone look at those wedding pictures or videos. Balthazar got us really fancy luggage and put in the note that we need something besides our ratty duffel bags. I guess they are nice but I like our duffel bags.

This morning when we woke up there was a note on the table from Uncle Gabe saying he will be here around 12 pm to take us back home to have our things packed. I really don't want to leave yet but we can always come back and we do need to get back home and start to figure out what we are going to do with the rest of our lives.

"Lara is your bag packed? I am going to bring it down if it is." Dean yells down from the bedroom while I finish up in the kitchen. "It's finished just bring it down with you." I want to leave the kitchen clean for the next time we come. We did very little exploring in our new home and I imagine we will come back soon to look around more than the bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen.

A set of hands sneak around me grabbing onto my hips and pulling me back into the hard body behind me. "God Dean how can I still want you after a week of just you?" I moan out unable to fathom how my body is still responding to him, still craving him. He moves the hair off the left side of my neck and starts to kiss down my neck over my shoulders.

"I don't know but I feel the same way." I lose myself in him again for a moment until I hear a cough in the room. We both jump and look up to see Uncle Gabe and Balthazar standing in front of us. "I shouldn't be surprised but you knew we were coming at 12." Balthazar snorts out with a laugh.

I don't care and just fall back into Dean's chest and wrap his arms around me tighter. "You guys packed and ready to go?" Uncle Gabe asks. We shake our heads yes and Balthazar grabs the luggage and Uncle Gabe grabs us and we go. When we come back to solid land I am surprised to see us in an airport and even more surprised to see they must have changed out clothes. "What is going on?" I ask them confused.

Balthazar smiles and puts the luggage down. "My wedding present is your real honeymoon. I got you first class tickets and hotel reservations already. I took the liberty of repacking your bags, Jo put in a few surprises as well. I thought you might want real clothes on the plane as well." I look down and I'm in a simple yet soft blue silky summer dress with a pair of ballet flats and Dean is in a nice pair of jeans with a black t-shirt and button up striped shirt. Not our normal clothes but comfortable all the same.

My face must show the complete and utter shock because Balthazar just smirks at me. I give him a quick hug. "I have always wanted to go on plane. I am so excited. Thank you so much Balthazar!"

"Did you say plane tickets?" Dean gulps out. I look up at his face and he is pale. "Oh god Dean I forgot I am so sorry."

Balthazar looks at us quizzically. "Forgot what?" He asks me. "We have to cancel I forgot Dean is afraid of flying."

He looks between us again and starts to laugh. "Really big bad hunter Dean is afraid of flying?" I go to hit Balthazar lightly and he moves out the way and continues to laugh. Dean reaches out and grabs me to him and I wrap my arm around his waist and hold him. "No we will go I will just need to um... I guess... grow a pair and get on the plane."

"No Dean if you aren't comfortable with it we don't need to go. I am sure they won't have a problem brining us home and cancelling the trip or even just taking us there." Dean shakes his head no and grabs my hand bringing it to his lips to kiss. "You have always wanted to go to Paris, we are going to Paris, and we are doing it on a plane that you have also always wanted to be on."

"Don't worry Dean we would never let anything happen to either of you. Balthazar and I made sure the plane was safe. No need to worry and we will pick you both back up here when you come back." Uncle Gabe tries to reassure us. Dean nervously shakes his head in agreement but he is still pale and shaky.

Balthazar hands me a packet of information about our flights and hotel reservations as well as an envelope of euros. "Have fun you two and we will see you in a week." He says with a wink.

Dean remains nervous and uneasy while I check us in and get us ready for the flight. He most certainly doesn't like that we can't take any weapons with us on the plane but I found a box with enochian symbols in our luggage that I assume will hide our weapons until we are in Paris. We maybe on our honeymoon but we are still hunters and refuse to be caught unaware.

We don't have to wait long at the gate before they call us to board. I've never been on a plane before so I'm pretty excited even though it looks like Dean is about to throw up from nerves. I grab his hand and give it a squeeze trying to give him some comfort. He squeezes back maybe a little too tight. I don't see out seats so I head over the flight attendant and show her our boarding passes. "I'm not quite sure where I am going? Would you be able to direct me?" I ask. She looks at our tickets and smile and points to the small stair case behind us. "You guys are upstairs. If you want to head up there is another flight attendant waiting."

"Upstairs?" Dean squeaks out. I to look at him and smile. "Why does a plane need two floors? Is it even safe to have two floors?" I silence him with a deep kiss and by the time I pull back he isn't questioning floors anymore. 

"Do you really think that the angels would do anything to hurt us? Now come on we are going to have a nice flight." He shakes his head nervously and despite being nervous I can feel his gaze on my ass the whole way up the stairs. "Enjoying the view Winchester?" I send back with a laugh.

His hands cups my butt quickly and I jump a little. "Better believe it Mrs. Winchester." He responds with an actually laugh. I just roll my eyes and get to the top of the stairs and hand our ticket to the flight attendant up there. She shows us to our seats. "Champagne?" She asks us both.

"I'll have champagne but trust me he's doing to need bourbon, lots of bourbon." I say with a laugh. "Nervous flyer?" She asks looking at Dean staring at his seat like it is an electric chair.

"You better believe it , but he agreed to come because it's out honeymoon and I have always wanted to go to Paris." I tell her happy to let the world know I am married to him. "Well congratulations! And don't worry I will keep the drinks coming."

"Do you want the aisle or the window?" I ask Dean not sure what will make him feel safer. "Aisle is fine." He says taking his seat with a few deep breaths. By the time the attendant is back with our drinks his eyes are closed and he is humming Metallica to himself. I search through the carry on Balthazar packed for me and pull out my ipod. I put actual Metallica on and slip the buds into his ears. His eyes flip open and he gives me a thankful smile and goes back to focusing on the music.

We manage to get through the take off which to be honest I am not sure if it was the 2 bourbons, the music, or holding my hand till I thought it would fall off that got him through it. He manages to eat some of his food and I can't help but laugh at him missing a meal.

A few hours after we take off I excuse myself to the bathroom and pray for Balthazar. "So you having fun?" He asks from behind me. I am so used to them just appearing it doesn't even startle me anymore. "I made sure to buy up the whole upper floor so you guys could have some alone time." He says with an eye wiggle.

"Yeah about that... can you make the flight attendant like maybe go take a nap or something for an hour or so?" I ask sheepishly, but this is why I prayed for Balthazar and not one of my uncles. I couldn't ask them to clear the cabin so I can join the mile high club.

"Wow one week and your already a sexual defiant!" He jokes with me and I roll my eyes and hit him lightly. "Consider it done, now go back to your seat." Before I can thank him he is gone. I quickly finish up and go back to my seat. Dean is nursing another drink and I see the flight attendant go into the bunk upstairs for the crew with a loud yawn. Thank you Balthazar I pray out.

I flip the lights off above our seats and push his recline button back. He gives me a confused look as I push the seat back and move to straddle him. "I know you are nervous so just lay back and let me do all the work." I whisper into his ear. I unbuckle his seat belt which he freaks out about. "Lara this isn't safe." I've known Dean almost my whole life and I have never seen him turn down a lay due to safety. I can't help but laugh. He gives me a prissy grimace and I kiss him softly. I quickly undo his jeans and pull him out making sure to buckle is seat belt back up over his chest.

"There now you are safe." I am glad I had the foresight to take my panties off in the bathroom so I could make fast action of my plan. Despite him being so nervous it doesn't take him long to get with the program and with a few well placed kisses and caresses he is hard and ready to go. I move my hips up to line up with him and slowly fall onto him letting out an obscene moan as he enters me. We are fast and dirty but it feels oh so good.

The feeling of him in me is enough to send me into over drive. I can't help has I let out a small cry that he silences by kisses me deeply. "Please Dean I'm close." I moan out.

"Just a little longer baby. Hold on with me." He replies driving his hips up to meet mine. My body starts to tense and my clenching around him is enough to send him over the edge. I collapse back on him and sprawl out over him in his seat. After we both regain the use of our limbs I move to tuck him back into his jeans and zip him up. I don't leave my spot on him but dig blindly through my bag on the seat next to me until I find my panties. I manage to wiggle myself back into them and lay back over Dean. "That was fun." I tell him as I listen to his heart rate start to calm down in his chest. I feel the rumble of his laughter and can't help but smile.

"That may have been worth getting on this death trap." We lay there a bit longer until I hear the door on the bunk room start to shake. I quickly jump up and land in my seat. The flight attendant looks a bit dazed and quickly goes back to doing her job.

"Ladies and Gentlemen we will be landing at Charles De Gaulle airport in about 30 minutes. Please make your way back to your seats and thank you for flying with us." The captain alerts the plane.

I reach across and grab Dean's hand. "We're almost there and we can enjoy a week in the most romantic city in the world." He laughs and kiss my hand. "If we manage to the leave the bedroom." He retorts.

Sam's POV

How did this happen? It seems like some kind of nightmare. One moment I am sitting at Bobby's kitchen table doing research for a hunter in Oregon who isn't sure what he is hunting then the phone rings. After that everything is blur and doesn't seem real. This isn't how it's supposed to go.

There is the soft sounds of shoes on the linoleum behind me and I don't bother to turn around knowing it's just one of the doctors. "Sir you need to think about letting us pull the plug. She is gone and the only thing keeping her alive are the machines."

I shake my head no violently. "Not until my brother and his wife get here." I respond shortly not even bothering to look at him. They are due back tomorrow morning from their honeymoon in Paris. Bobby said we should call them two days ago but I didn't want to ruin their honeymoon. There was nothing they could do so I saw no reason to bring them home early. I keep her hand in mine and lean down to kiss it softly. "I am so sorry Jo." I whisper out with tears in my throat.

According to the authorities there was a robbery at the Roadhouse. Three men came in with masks and guns and asked for all the money. Once they got what they wanted they shot and killed everyone in the bar at the time which was only Jo, Ellen, and three customers. Ellen and the other three were pronounced dead on the spot but Jo still had a heart beat when they brought her in. The doctors say she is dead and that the machines are the only thing keeping her alive but I know her, she can fight this. I still have her ring in my pocket and I want the chance to ask her to marry me. It just was never the right moment. Now I will never get that moment. I pull it out and slip the ring over her finger. This isn't how it was supposed to be. I was supposed to be slipping it on her finger from one knee. Her beautiful face would have blushed slightly as she said yes. More than likely she would have hit me softly and told me it took me long enough and of course she would marry me. It looks good on her finger though. The center diamond is flanked by two smaller ones and it sparkles even in the dim light of the hospital. At least she will have what was always meant to be hers.

I wonder what our wedding would have been like? Would it have been like Dean's and Lara's or would it have been more traditional? I can't imagine Jo in a big fancy dress but I can see her in a simple white dress that clings to her curves with two thin straps that I could easily slide off her shoulders and down her body when we got the wedding night. More than likely she would have wanted a small church wedding in the church her parents were married and we would have had a fun and reckless reception at the Roadhouse. Dean would have been my best man and Lara would have been her matron of honor. The guest list would have been very similar to my brother's but it would have been different. I can imagine my hands on her hips as we dance our first dance as Mr. and Mrs. Winchester. Her hands tracing my back and kissing me softly. Her beautiful blonde hair pulls into a simple twist with a few babies breathe stuck in twist.

After I could see us getting a small house near the Roadhouse. She would have taken over it for her mother and I would never ask her not too. It would been a lot of second hand furniture but we would have put some elbow grease to it and our home would have been lovely. A few years down the road we may have even had enough luck to have a child. I can see Jo pregnant. I can see her petite frame growing round knowing I am the one who made her like that. I can see her standing in the nursery with the sun hitting her cheeks and highlighting her hair like a halo and her hands resting over our child as it kicked slightly.

Then it fades. It won't happen. She is dead. Bobby and Karen investigated since I refused to leave Jo's side and they say it was just humans nothing supernatural about it. It's hard to remember there are just as many human monsters as supernatural ones.

I hear another set of feet on the linoleum behind me. "What part of not until my brother gets here don't you get?!" I yell at the doctor. The feet stop abruptly then continue into the room. I don't drop her hand but turn around to face the doctor. I am shocked to see a brunette girl behind me not in any hospital garb. It only takes me a moment to realize who it is. "Ruby." I say out loud.

"How did you know?" She asks legitimately confused. I just shrug. "I've known you long enough to recognize you I guess." I've fucked her in almost every body she's ever used but I could always tell what was her and what was the body. She has a way of carrying herself that is so uniquely her that I could recognize her anywhere in anyone.

"I am sorry and came as soon as I heard about what happened. I didn't know Sam I swear. " She cries out still keeping her distance. Her arms are wrapped around her almost like she is protecting herself as if I would do anything to hurt her. "I know you didn't it was humans Ruby." I respond dryly.

Ruby shakes her head no slowly. "No it wasn't Sam, well no I guess it was but the demons made them do it." She responds nervously not sure how I will respond. "What do you mean it was demons making them do it?"

She quickly looks behind her and shuts the door softly and comes closer the hospital bed and stops next to me. "We have humans that do things for us. When we don't want anyone suspecting it was a demon we get humans, really sick and fucked up humans, who for some reason want us to like them to do it for us. Lilith ordered the hit on you. She thought you found a way to get Dean out of hell and wanted to send you a warning."

I jump up quickly. "No! No! NO! That can't be right! She can't be dead because of me." Ruby moves over to me and wraps me in her arms. "I am sorry Sam. I swear if I knew about it ahead of time I would have warned you and her."

"Can you make a deal with me? To bring her back?" Ruby shakes her head no. I can see the sadness in her eyes at my begging for another woman but if there is a way I will save Jo. "I am not a crossroads demon Sam I am sorry there is nothing I can do." I push her back slightly and feel like hitting something.

"I want her dead!" I scream out knowing Ruby knows I am talking about Lilith. "I want her to pay and I want her to suffer." I manage out through gritted teeth.

"I do too." She responds nervously, again her arms wrapping around her body like a shield. I walk to her and she takes a slight step back and I yell at myself for pushing her just a few moments ago. "What did she do." I can tell this isn't her normal dislike for Lilith this is something else

Ruby looks around the room like someone could come in at any moment. For a moment I don't think she's going to tell me then she starts. "Lilith figured out how I felt about you. She captured me and tortured me for information about you and Dean. When I wouldn't break she tried to condition me to hate you and I just couldn't. I managed to escape after she thought she destroyed me and left me to rot."

That bitch did what! I pull Ruby to me and kiss her forehead. "The bitch is going to pay. I am a going to find her and torture her. I am going to make her beg for death. I will make her pay for what she did to Dean and Lara, then Jo, and now you. I will find her and I will kill her." I look down at her so she can see that I am serious. I won't let Lilith get away with this.

"I can help you with that Sam." She says with a devilish gleam in her eyes. She rests her head on my chest for a moment and then pulls away to stand across from me. "I know this is not the time or the place for this but Sam I have to ask now. When Lara and Dean get here it will be too late."

I give her a confused look and she looks at Jo behind me and back to me. "I am just going to get this out. I love you Sam. I have for awhile now." I try to speak but she silences me with her finger tip. "Those nights with you were the best of my life but I was never going to ask you to leave Jo for me because I know you love Jo, that you wanted to have a nice normal life with her. She could offer you a life I never could. But Sam she can still offer you that life... in a way."

"What are you talking about Ruby?" Why is she talking in riddles. I know she likes me hell I like her too, probably too much. I know she is the reason I never proposed to Jo, the reason the time was never right. I can see it again. Jo and I in our house but then I see Ruby in the corner. She would always be there. She would always have a part of me. I would never be able to be completely faithful to Jo while Ruby was still around.

"If you would allow me ,because I won't do it without your blessing, I could possess her." Oh that is crazy but before I can respond she restarts. "You would get the best of both worlds Sam. You would get me and her. You could still have Jo next to you every night, still have children with her body, I will just be the one in her."

"Why does this have to happen now and not when Dean and Lara get here?" I ask her. "Why can't I take my time to think of this. Fuck Ruby she just died and you want me to just let you jump in her and act like nothing happened. "

"If I could I would have waited more time but for what I would do it needs to be now. I was a witch before becoming a demon Sam. I can do a spell that will bind me to her body. I will not be able to leave her ever, I won't be able to be exorcised, the only weakness I will have is to a devil's trap. Holy water may sting a bit but nothing else will really hurt me. My powers will be very dampened but I will still be able to help you fight Lilith. I will age in her with you, and I will die at one point. I will be mortal but you would have a real life with me. I can also hide my true self with this spell and not even the angels will know that I am me." She seems to sincere.

"Why? Why are you willing to give all that up to grow old and die? What is in it for you?" I spit back at her. Her eyes fill with hurt for a moment and I reach out to touch her but she pulls back. "Sam I would do it for you. I want to do it because I love you. Because I want to give you that life you wanted. If I don't do this I won't age ever and I would have to keep jumping bodies that I have to share with someone. I am doing this because I love you and because this is what you deserve and I want to spend my life with you as human as I can."

I think it through. Jo is dead and she isn't coming back. This would be the only way I can still have her at all. And in some odd way I get them both. Both the women I love. "I'm not saying I'm agreeing but do you have what you need if I agree to this?"

She hits the bag over her shoulder. "I have everything right here. I know this is hard Sam but you could have us both. You would have me and you would have her. If you wanted we could even have children and you would see Jo in your children. There is no choosing to be done between us because you get us both."

"Jo would never forgive me for this." It's my last hang up. Ruby looks at Jo laying in the bed behind me. "She is gone Sam. She will never know that I am in her body. And when you pass you could be with her again in heaven. But just so you know if we do this there is no going back. I can't undo the spell and go back to just being a demon. I am in her body for good. I am one with her body. "

My mind is screaming that this is a trap but my heart is screaming this is the only way to truly be happy. I could have them both. I could have everything. I move back to Jo's bed and lean down and kiss her lips softly. "I am sorry Jo. I love you." I face Ruby and shake my head. "Ok do it, but I can't be here to see it."

Ruby runs to me and pulls me in a tight hug and kisses me deeply. "Come back in 3 hours. It will be done by then." I turn to leave looking back at Jo laying in the bed lifeless. I can't believe I am going to do this but it's not something I can say no to.

I do the only thing us Winchester's really know how to do in moments like this and go to a bar. I sit down and order a shot of bourbon and drink it fast and hit the bar again. Once I get the buzz going to kill the pain in my chest I slow down and switch to beer. Time should be dragging but before I know it three hours has passed. I leave my cash on the bar and go back to the hospital. Honestly unsure of what I will find.

When I get to Jo's room I stop at the door for a moment unwilling to push it open. I take a deep breath and turn the knob and walk in. Ruby is sitting up in bed wearing Jo. She smiles at me softly and I move the seat I hadn't left in 2 days next to the bed. she lifts up her hospital gown and shows me a mark on her hip. "It's done Sam." I see Ruby so clearly in my Jo. Physically it's all Jo. Her blonde hair, her soft pink lips, her high cheek bones, her creamy skin, but beneath it all now it's Ruby. Her proud and confident swagger.

Ruby looks down at her ring finger and pulls it off and hands it to me. "I assume you want this back. I know it was for her." I look at the ring in my hand and hold it for a moment but shake my head no. I slip the ring back on her hand. "No Ruby it was meant to be like this. It was meant for Jo but it was meant for you too. Do you think you want to do this though?"

She jumps and hugs me. "I just tethered myself to a human body for you Sam. Of course I will marry you." She cries out. I look down at her hand and I like how it looks on her. It's on Jo's hand like I always wanted but with Ruby mixed in just like I always wanted.

This is so many shades of wrong but I can't stop has her lips meet mine. I can still taste Jo in the kiss but I feel Ruby breaking through and pulling me tempting me to just succumb and be with her. She pulls back slightly, she must notice my hesitation. "I'm sorry Sam I know it's still too soon."

My body is in full control now. I push her down on the bed and I climb over her slotting myself against her body. I don't speak I just lean down and kiss her. This is what I have agreed too I may as well accept it. My hands slip under the hospital gown and I trace my fingers over Jo's abdomen and up to her breast but I feel Ruby under the skin. I kiss down her neck and over her collar bone smelling Jo but tasting Ruby.

The ripping of the hospital gown has I rip it down the center should shake me out of my madness but all it does it drive me further to see Jo's gorgeous body willing beneath me. I lean down and take her breast into my mouth has Ruby arches off the bed. "Sam!" She cries out has I slip my hand down her stomach to her center.

A part of me wants to go slow but another part wants to just drive into her. I war with myself until Ruby reaches out for me and caresses the side of my face. "I'm not glass Sam fuck me." That's all the prodding I need before I am undoing my jeans and kicking them off and entering her. I move my hips pushing me in and out of her and she just clings to me. "Harder Sam! Harder!" She cries out.

Ruby grabs my face in both her hands and make sure I look her in the eye. "I am not Jo Sam, I can take it. I know what you want." She states. It's like I lose all control of my body and I am brutally slamming into her and she is keeping pace and moaning beneath me. We both cum quickly and I fall on her unable to support my own weight. I shift us in the hospital bed trying not to squish her and still leave us comfortable.

The vision I had earlier is changed now. I can see us getting married but it's as Ruby not in Jo's body. It won't be a church wedding like before nor will the reception be at the Roadhouse. Her dress won't be simple and there will be no babies breathe in her hair. Jo's body will still be in white dress but now it will be strapless and exuding sex. I know I will hardly be able to keep my hands off of her during the ceremony let alone the reception. That house is no longer a small simple house but I large home somewhere warm. I don't see Ruby being happy with second hand furniture and she will enjoy filling the home with things she likes. She's so different from Jo yet so similar all at once.

"Are you alright?" She asks me with Jo's voice. I shake my head yes and she runs her hands through my hair. I am oddly alright. I should be freaking out right now but I'm not. I have both of them in a way and I feel oddly complete.

a/n so what did you think? Hope you liked it!


	65. Chapter 65

Dean's POV

There she goes again. I jump up after her but don't make it to the bathroom before I hear her heaving into the toilet again. I grab the wash cloth off the ledge of the sink and quickly turn on the water and damp it. I knell on the floor beside her making sure to lift the hair off the back of her neck and putting the cold compress there. I don't bother trying to tell her it's going to be alright because I know in a little bit she will be puking again. I wonder if I had known the morning sickness would have been this bad if I would have agreed to this. It's been a month of constant sickness, she's only two months along and since our honeymoon she hasn't even had time to enjoy it.

It seems like she is finally done because she leans back in to my chest and lets out a long sigh. "So much for our morning round." She tries to joke with me. We've been quite enthusiastic newlyweds with years of unrequited sexual tension to work out of our systems. I chuckle at her joke while kissing the top of her head pulling her closer to me. "We'll get to it. We still have a few hours till Bobby shows up."

"You guys alright in there?" Sam asks from outside the door. "We are fine, be out soon." I yell back. We haven't told anyone yet that Lara is pregnant. It just hasn't seemed like the right time. When we got back from our honeymoon Bobby meet us at the gate and dropped the terrible bombshell on us that Ellen was killed. Not only that Jo is awake but has severe memory loss and is still in the hospital. We immediately rushed to them and it just hasn't seemed right to that we have good news when everyone is still healing. We are planning on telling everyone today when Bobby and Karen show up to help us all pack up Lara's and Jo's apartment.

Lara seems steady enough so I stand up and help her to her feet. She quickly brushes her teeth and gives me a smile. She is just in my discarded shirt so I grab her robe off the back of the door and help her into it. I doubt she wants Sammy to get a peak. Back in the living room Sam and Jo are sitting on the couch watching tv. Jo is so different then she used to be but I guess I can't blame her. Her mom was killed in front of her, she was shot in the head, was in a coma for a week, and now comes back and seems to have forgotten a lot of her past life. Sometimes things trigger her memories and for the most part with Sam staying glued to her side she seems to have remembered a lot about him but it's rough on her.

"Are you sure about this move Jo?" Lara asks her, taking a seat next to her on the sofa. She wraps her arm around Jo's shoulder as the blonde rests her head on Lara's shoulder. "You don't have to decide yet we can cancel the lease and you can stay here a bit longer."

Jo turns to Lara and I can see tears in her eyes. "I'm sure Lara. I just can't be here anymore. Being in that bar or at my mom's home it's just too much for me. It's too painful. Rick and Luke will take good care of it and I can always come back if it stops hurting so much." Lara pulls her closer. Jo decided that she did not want to stay here any longer that it hurt too much. She was going to sell the bar and the house but Rick and Luke said they were looking for a reason to slow down and that they would run the bar for Jo until she decided she wants back in or until she decided to sell. Jo has tried to go back into the Roadhouse and her mom's home numerous times but always breaks down sobbing outside unable to go in. Sammy ends up carrying her back home and we don't push her any longer. Her and Sam found an apartment in Sioux Falls near Bobby's that they are going to lease for awhile until they decide what they want to do next. They got engaged recently and I know they are still trying to decide when they want to get married and all the fun things that go along with it. It is something happy for Jo to focus on instead.

"We're going to go ahead and start getting ready . Uncle Bobby should be here soon with the moving truck and we can start loading up." Lara explains jumping off the sofa and leading me to the bedroom. Everything is already in boxes and most the furniture is ready to go minus the beds, sofa, and tv. Once we get to the bedroom she pushes me on the bed and starts to kiss me. "What were you saying about we had plenty of time before my Uncle came?" She asks with a wink.

I make it quick not wanting to piss off Bobby by him coming into the house while I am still defiling his niece. He has seemed to have gotten better with me but not that much better. I'll be interested to see how he reacts to our news later today.

Lara only gets sick one more time before Bobby shows up and luckily Jo and Sam don't notice this time. They are too busy packing up their rooms to notice Lara throwing her guts up in the bathroom. I meet her in the living room with saltines and ginger ale. "Thanks Dean." Lara thanks me standing on her tippy toes to kiss my lips lightly.

By the time Bobby and Karen show up Lara is sitting on the sofa munching on her crackers and sipping on her pop. "Wow you guys did actually pack!" Bobby exclaims seeing everything in boxes and ready to go.

"Of course we did old man. Couldn't have you bitching at us when you got here."I respond with a laugh. He just narrows his eyes at me playfully. Sam and Jo come out of their room with a suitcase in each hand to put in the living room. We are moving them into their apartment today. We will be storing Lara's things her Bobby's house until we have decided what we are going to do.

Finally everyone is together. Lara meets my gaze and I know she wants me to start. "So now that we are all together Lara and I have some news we wanted to share with you all." Lara jumps off the sofa and nestles into my side. I put my arm around her shoulders and squeeze. She looks up at me and flashes mea smile then looks back to our family.

"Dean and I are expecting a baby." She tells me nervously not sure how they will react. For a moment the room is completely silent then Karen breaks into a huge grin and runs to Lara and hugs her. "Oh honey I am so happy for you both. Congratulations."

"I knew something has been up with all the puking!" Sam speaks up. I look to Bobby not sure how he will react he still looks like he's in shock. "Well you guys worked fast." He manages to stammer out.

Lara looks up at me again and her smile wavered. I nod my head letting her know we have to tell them. "The baby isn't Dean's." Lara supplies quietly. I quickly grab her hand. "That's not quite true Lara and you know that. I love that little baby like my own." I tell her laying my hand over her stomach.

"What do you mean the baby isn't Dean's?" Bobby inquires. Karen pulls back a bit too and gives us both leery glances. "Did someone hurt you?" Sam chimes in from next to Bobby and starts to move towards Lara.

"It's nothing like that." I respond quickly not wanting out family to freak out. I pull Lara back into my side and kiss the top of her head. "On our wedding night the angels explained to Lara why they have always been watching over her and asked her for a great favor." I look down at her not sure if she wants to finish this part.

"Apparently I am a really special vessel and they needed me to the carry the second coming of Christ incase of the apocalypse." Lara spits out quickly figuring we would answer all their questions after. "You let my niece get pregnant with the Christ child? Are you kidding me! What if something happens?!"

"I swear to you Robert that me and all my brothers will die to protect her and her child." A voice speaks up from behind everyone. We all jump and see that it's just Gabriel. "I am still hopeful that we can avoid the entire thing but if not humanity will need their child to save them. Dean and Lara agreed together to have the child and to raise him like any other baby until a time where he will needed."

"So this is why you have been watching over her since she was a baby?" Robert asks Gabriel accusingly. I understand I had the same worry. Gabriel shakes his head. "It was the original reason but Castiel, Balthazar, Michael, and I couldn't help falling in love with her. We have sworn our lives to keeping her, Dean, and their children save. I assure you that we will keep that promise."

Bobby seems pissed but unable to really say anything back to that. Karen grabs Bobby's arm and tries to calm him down. Sam looks from Lara back to Gabriel and then to me. "So my soon to be nephew is Jesus Christ?" For a smart kid he can be slow on the uptake sometimes. Jo looks positivity terrified at this revelation.

My left arm is still around Lara's shoulders so I move my right hand to rest over her womb again. Her hands both rest over mine. "Yeah Sammy, your nephew and our soon to be new born son is going to be Jesus Christ." I pause for a moment and look up at Gabriel. "Do we have to name him Jesus?"

Gabriel breaks into uncontrollable laughing and just shakes his head at us. "No you both are free to name him whatever you want. Just try to avoid names like Lucifer or Satan." He jokes right back at us.

"Well I guess it's time we look for a house when we get you guys back home then I guess." Karen supplies the group. Lara and I meet eyes and shrug. We really hadn't have time to really think about things that far yet. We hadn't thought about putting down roots yet because neither of us thought we would need to so soon. "I guess so." I respond.

We all make quick work of loading up the moving truck that Bobby rented. We put Lara's and I things towards the back and Jo's and Sam near the front since we will be moving their things in first. We all hit the road and make it back to Sioux Falls by night fall.

Lara refuses to go home saying she can still be of use and we all quickly unload the truck then leave Sam and Jo to go through their things. Bobby promises to loan them his pickup truck anytime they need to get any furniture that they need. Back at Bobby's we quickly unload everything in to the garage but decide to work on it tomorrow.

It's late and we all had a long day and I for one am exhausted. Probably even too exhausted to make love my beautiful wife. Lara and I climb the stairs to her room and take turns brushing our teeth in the small bathroom and both fall into the bed sleepily. Lara curls into my side and lays her head on my chest. "So what do you think Dean? Do we start looking for a house soon?"

I may be exhausted but not so tired that I can't trace my finger tips up and down her back. "I guess we do. I'll start looking for a job tomorrow and in a few months we can maybe get enough to try to make a down payment."

Lara props herself on my chest to look at me. "Dean we have plenty of money to buy a house." I shake my head no. "No Lara you have plenty of money. I don't want you to spend it on this."

"Don't be silly Dean. You saved a big chunk of that money and we are married it is now our money. We said our vows and what is mine is yours and yours is mine. We can buy a home without having to go into debt or you having to work yourself to the bone." Lara tries to explain to me.

"Lara that money is yours. I am your husband I want to be able to provide for you. " I don't say it but I know she understand what I am not saying. It shouldn't be her having to take care of me.

Lara moves closer to my lips and kisses me. "Dean I am your wife now too. We provide for each other. We can look for a home and if you are so worried about it we can save to put the money back into the account. We can get regular jobs if that is what you want or just live off that money for now and continue to hunt."

It's hard to fight with her when she is always so right. "Alright we will borrow the money for the house and I will keep putting money back into the account until I have paid it back. And until you give birth I don't want you hunting. It's not safe."

I was expecting her to get mad at me not start to laugh. "Dean I am pregnant with the Christ child. Do you really think anything can hurt me? We can keep hunting together like we always have or we can both wait until I give birth. I'm not about to let you run off and hunt the ugly without me. Besides I don't want to have to give you up quite yet. We are still in the honeymoon phase and I plan on us being able to thoroughly enjoy it.

Before I can respond her lips are on mine and she's straddling my waist. So much for being too tired to make love to her.

_Four Months Later_

I wake up alone in bed again. Last few months have been fairly normal, which for us is something abnormal. Lara and I have only taken two hunts close to home that were fairly simple. Lara was right about being safe to hunt. On the first hunt a ghost popped up out of nowhere and tried to push her down a flight of stairs. The next thing we both know there is a blinding light emanating from her stomach and the ghost was eradicated. We didn't even have to salt and burn it. Sam hasn't felt comfortable enough to leave Jo behind and she isn't mentally ready to hunt yet.

We have been looking at homes but haven't found one yet that we really like. They are all nice but they don't feel like home. Lara is certain she will know it when she sees it. I am going to let her do her thing and pick the house out. I am happy with anything that involves her in my bed every night.

The last few months though have been a bit strained with Lara. It is not that we are fighting it's more she seems to have changed a bit. She seems quiet and nervous. I can't get her to talk to me about it. She won't let me be involved anything that involves the baby saying I don't need to worry about it. She has thankfully stopped throwing up but by the end of that she would try to keep it from me. She won't let me get her food for her weird cravings and insists that Gabriel or Castiel get it for her. The only thing I'm allowed to help with is that she is incredibly horny to the point of being almost insatiable which I am not complaining about.

To be honest I am worried enough about it that I talked to Bobby. He told me not worry about that woman's hormones go all over the place when they are pregnant and that with her being pregnant with a heavenly child who knows what's going on inside her head. He assured me that Lara loves me more than anything and I don't need to stress out about it. When I mentioned it to Sam earlier he said the same thing. He went as far as to say that when he is in a room with us it's distracting watching us look at each other all come hither and what not so he thinks we are fine. I just want her to come to me with these things.

More than likely Lara is just in the kitchen or bathroom. I throw on a pair of sweat pant and tshirt and head down the hall to see the bathroom is unoccupied. I go down stairs and follow the kitchen lights to see Lara sitting at the table and talking to Gabriel. I cross the room and kiss the top of her. "Hey baby what are you doing up? It's late."

Lara looks up at me with her big blue eyes and shrugs. She looks sad. "I was hungry so I was just asking Gabriel to go get me something. "

"Don't worry Gabe. I got this. Just let me get my keys. What do you want honey?" I ask searching the counter for my keys. "No Dean Gabriel can go don't worry about it.

I turn around and knell on the floor next to her and kiss her gently. "Lara you are my wife, my pregnant wife. I can go get you food. What do you want?" I don't leave room for debate. Lara's eyes lower and I can see tears in them. I put my hand around the back of her neck and pull her forward to kiss her forehead. I rest my hand over our baby for a moment and feel him kick slightly against my hand. "Come on baby it's alright. What do you want? Little guy is hungry."

"Can you get me a cherry pie, sour cream, and chocolate sauce?" She manages to get out without crying but I can still hear the tears in her throat. "Of course be back soon." That sounds terribly gross but it's not for me so whatever.

Before I leave I try to give Gabriel and questioning look and he just shakes his head that we'll talk later. I don't understand why she so upset. It doesn't take me long to go the store and back, not a lot of traffic or people in line at 3 am. Lara eyes the food hungrily and pours the sour cream over the pie and the chocolate sauce over them both. I try not to gag when she eats it but she lets out a little moan that tells me she is happy.

We manage to get a few hours of sleep before I have to head to work. I got a job at a bar in town. The owner knows about the supernatural so I don't have problems getting off for a hunt if I need it. Jo also got a job there with me. Sam has decided to go back to school and Stanford said he had so few credits left to finish that if he gets them done at a community college they will let the credits transfer and he can get his diploma.

"Lara, Dean? " Karen asks from outside the door. "Yeah come in." I call back to her. I am still wearing bottoms and Lara is wearing a t shirt that is slightly stretched over her adorable stomach and I got the sheets pulled up around us.

"I know you have work today Dean but Bobby and I saw a house in the paper we think you guys might like if you want to go before hand." I look over at Lara and she shakes her head yes. "Great we'll be done in a few minutes and we can head out."

It doesn't take us long to get dressed and we all pile into my car to head over to the house. Lara has been working too with Bobby. She's been helping him with his salvage yard and with helping hunters with questions. There is nothing sexier than coming home to see her coming in from the garage with a greasy wife beater on with the coveralls tied around her waist with her baby bell just swelling out. After she gives birth I might make her wear that just to spice things up in the bedroom, I'd have to imagine she would be up for a little role play.

We pull up and I got to say I like the look of this one. The outside is dark blue with a dark gray front door, white shutters, and a white painted porch. It's not a wrap around but the entire front of the house has a big porch that I can see us putting a swing up and sitting out in the summer. I look down at Lara and she is smiling brightly. The realtor is at the door and lets us in. She is happily yapping at us about the house but Lara and I are just looking around .

The front door opens into the living room. There is a set of stairs heading up stairs but opens into a large great room. The living room is large enough for a sectional and a huge tv and it leads into the massive kitchen. Lara looks around trailing her fingers over the granite counter tops and stainless steel appliances. She rests her other hand over the baby and rubs it in slow soothing circles. The kitchen also has room for a enormous dining table if we want. There is small bathroom on this floor and sliding glass doors that lead to the back yard. "We'd have room for a swing set Dean." Lara tells me happily. I shake my head in agreement and look around back to see a large shed out back. The house has a two car garage but it will be nice to have space to tinker and to keep hunting things out of the house.

Bobby and Karen are still talking with the realtor when we decide to go upstairs. At the top of the stairs we take a quick right and the first door is a good sized bathroom with a bathtub. At the end of the hall is a good sized bed room. There are two more bedrooms in the main hall and at the end of the hall to the left is the master. We both walk in and let out contented sighs. "This looks awesome Lara." I tell her liking that the room is large enough for a king bed and there seems to be a lot of closet space. We check out the bathroom but Lara cringes. "I need the bathroom redone. After sharing one with Sammy I want a big one Dean. jacuzzi style tub, walk in shower, two sinks the works."

I check out the closet and figure its huge we can take some of it away to give her the bathroom of her dreams. "That should be easy baby. I can probably do a lot of the work myself. You maybe want to join me in that jacuzzi style tub?" I ask with a wink and she just blushes. "So what do you think of the house?"

Lara does a quick spin in the bed room then faces me and launches herself on me kissing me wildly. "I love it Dean. It feels like home. It feels like our home." I can't help but grin back at her. "I love it too. Let's go talk to her and get this set up."

The realtor is psyched that we love it and said she would contact the owners and put an offer in today. She says we could know by the end of the week. Lara and her exchange numbers and information and I can only hope we get it. I get everyone home just in time to get back to work on time.

Jo is at the bar when I get in and I wave at her has I tie on the bar apron over our black tshirts with the logo for the bar on it.. "How's it been so far today?" Jo shrugs and motions to the room. "Fairly dead but maybe it will pick up for you later. How was your morning?"

"I think we found a house!" I can't seem to keep it in and I know I sound like an excited school girl. Jo breaks into a smile. "That's great! I can't wait to see it."

We get a bit of a lunch rush and we manage to serve the tables and the bar without too much hassle. After the rush we are empty again. I notice Jo staring off into space like she does often. "You doing alright kiddo?" She usually doesn't open up to me but I hope she will some day.

She just shakes her head yes than breaks into tears. I quickly pull her into a hug and debate calling Sammy, it's what I would want him to do if he was Lara and she started to cry. "It's just hard sorry Dean. Everything feels so overwhelming and it's hard to explain. You all want things to go back to how they were but they can't. A part of me died that day and I won't ever get it back. What is left is a very different girl than you guys knew. Sam gets it I know he does but I worry I am disappointing you and Lara every day."

I hate these moments and typically only partake in them for Lara but Jo needs us. "Hush now Jo. I understand and so does Lara. We both lost our parents and there is nothing like it. It does change you. I have never been the same since what happened to my mom then later my dad and I know Lara feels the same way about her parents. We love you no matter who you are then or now. You are the best girl friend Lara has ever had and you are like the little sister I never knew I needed. You do whatever you need to do to get through the day. The things that Lara and I had to do sometimes to get through the day were not pretty but necessary. And don't worry about what you think we think."

"Would you guys hate me if I wanted Sam and I to move after we get married?" She asks me with tears in her eyes. I shake my head no. "No how could I? If what you guys think you both need is to move that you move. We can all still talk every night and see each other all the time. Where do you want to move?"

Jo blushes slightly. "I know this sounds silly but Detroit. Sam and I have had some great times there and I think we can start a life there. Here I feel like I am just living with the ghost of my mom, the ghost of who Jo was, and I can't move past it. Sam says he is alright with it and that you would to but I worried. You and Sam are so close and Sam and Lara are like siblings."

"You're right we are family, and you are too. And family doesn't break apart because you move. Besides Detroit isn't that far away. It will be fine you will see." I try to reassure her. She looks at me with a brighter smile than she has in months and I am glad to her happy.

The rest of the day goes quickly and I am able to finish up around 2 am. I'm excited to finally be able to head home. Lara is sound asleep on the sofa waiting for me when I come in. I try not to wake her and pick her up without jostling her too much. She comes to about half way up the stairs. "You're home. I missed you." She yawns out. I just chuckle and carry her the rest of the way up the stairs and lay her down in bed. "Gabriel says we'll get the house. He even went back today and laid down iron beams underground around the entire property along with pvc pipes filled with salt. He said nothings getting in."

"That sounds awesome." I laugh thinking about him digging all those holes even though I know he just angel mojoed it. "Even the baby liked it. He was kicking up a storm at the house."

I jump into the bed and lay my hand over her stomach hoping to feel him kicking. "Why didn't you tell me at the house?" He seems to be sound asleep right now. Lara looks away but I cup her face and make her look back at me. "I didn't want to bother you. We were both excited to be looking around."

"It's not a bother Lara. It's our son. I want to be part of those things with you." I push myself over to her and kiss her lips softly then get a more greedy. She starts to yawn but goes to start to apologize to me. "No need baby. You are tired. Lets head to sleep." We both get snuggled up under the quilt and I pull her to me so she can rest her head on my chest. I rest my hand over the baby until I myself fall asleep. She makes up for falling asleep on me last night with a good morning blow job that I was certainly next expected but thoroughly enjoyed.

By the end of the week we are both anxious to hear if we are going to get the house. Gabriel keeps saying we will but I want to hear it for real before I get to excited. I head to work and tell Lara to call me if she hears anything which she promises me she will.

I missed the lunch rush but that's because I'll be closing tonight. Jo looks exhausted and I force her to go into the kitchen and a take a break for a bit. It's not too busy out here.

The door opens and I don't bother to look up until I notice someone takes a seat at the bar. I look up ready to give them a smile and a menu but my smile drops when I see Sarah sitting at the bar. I hand her the menu trying not to be rude but not really feeling like dealing with her normal bull shit right now. "I heard you had worked here but I wanted to come see for myself." She purrs out leaning onto the bar trying to show off her breasts.

"Yeah I started working here a few months back. I just got married and we have a baby on the way so I figured it was time to get serious." I respond dryly making sure to mention I am married and have a baby, so I am off the market. I hand her a glass of water while she looks over the menu.

Sarah frowns slightly then shrugs her shoulder. "So who is the lucky lady? Have I met her before?" I laugh and shake my head yes. "You have meet her quite a few times actually. I just got married to Lara Maywin about 6 months ago."

"That little girl from the diner all the those years ago?" She nearly chokes on her water. "That's the one, only she isn't a little girl anymore that's for sure." I turn to walk away and check on Jo in the kitchen. She isn't there so I go to check in the bathrooms. I knock on the door but don't hear a response so I walk in. "Jo you in here?"

I am not greeted by her voice but her puking. I quickly run in and check on her. I grab a few paper towels off the counter and hand them to her. When she is gone she smiles at me slightly. "Sam and I found out we are pregnant, we are about 2 months along. I was going to tell you both this weekend but I guess the cats out of the bag."

"Holy shit you and Sam are having a baby? I'm going to be an Uncle?" I ask her getting more and more excited. She just smiles at me. "Yeppers, you will be able to say hi to the little guy in about 7 months. It looks like our kids will be growing up together."

I give her a quick hug then head back out to the bar. When I go out Sarah is standing next to the juke box and looking through the songs. "Do you want something to drink?" I ask her getting back behind the bar.

"Yeah a Miller light would be great." I grab a glass and fill it on tap and put it back at her seat. I do good job of mostly ignoring her for the next few hours. I try to make Jo sit comfortably at the bar as much as possible despite the fact she keeps laughing at me much like Lara used too. Jo lets me know that Lara called and she will be coming in soon to see me. I put in an order of cheese fries for her knowing she has been craving them badly lately. I figured I could get them ready along with the ranch and raspberry jam she has been dipping them into. I hear the guy in the kitchen let me know they are ready and I head back to get them.

On my way there Sarah stops me by jumping in front of me. "So I won't get one last run with you now that you are married?"

I grab her shoulders to move her out of the way. "Sarah back off. I am married and I am happy. There is nothing between us then or now. So stop making a fool of yourself." I'm about to push her out of my way which I normally don't do to women but she just won't let up.

Before I know what is happening Sarah's hand is cradling the back of my neck and she kissing me. I freeze for a second not sure if this is actually happening when I hear a gasp behind me. I quickly turn and see Lara standing in the front door with her hand to her mouth and tears already in her eyes. "Lara this isn't what it looks like!" I yell out.

Lara pivots as quick as she can and runs out of the bar. I push Sarah away and don't care that she lands on her ass on the floor. I dash after Lara and don't see her in the parking lot but I still see her bug sitting there. I run around the building once and still don't see her. I grab my cell phone out and try to call her but the call just says she's out of service.

"GABRIEL! CASTIEL! I NEED YOU!" I pray out hoping one of them hear me. Balthazar is actually the one to appear. He lunges at me and punches me in the face. "What the fuck did you do!"

I reach up and feel the blood running down my face from my nose. "Nothing that fucking bitch just kissed me. I didn't know Lara was there and I certainty didn't want that bitch touching me. Where is she."

Balthazar narrows his eyes at me. I don't think he quite trusts me yet. "She used the key and is at the house on the island. And no I won't take you to her. When she is ready she will come back." He then disappears.

Oh god she thinks I cheated on her. That I actually wanted that whore to touch me. There is no one's lips but Lara's that I ever want to kiss again. I fall down to my knees in the parking lot and do something I never do, I cry.

Ruby's POV

I am not Jo but that doesn't mean I don't love the people she loves. I have known Lara and Dean for years now and I do like Lara a lot. She is the closest thing I have ever had to a friend. It is because of that friendship that I am going to do what I am about to do.

It's been a week and Lara still hasn't come back. Dean is a complete wreck and hasn't been coming into work except to drink himself. Sam says that Lara is beside herself and not quite ready to talk to Dean yet even though I wish she would. I was there, that bitch kissed him not the other way around. So I am going to take matters into my own hands a bit.

I have been following that bitch for the past couple hours and she is just now heading home. I follow her quietly going up the stairs to her apartment. Once she unlocks her door and goes in I stealthy move and push the door forward knocking her unconscious. I make quick work of tying the bitch to a chair and waiting for to wake up.

When Sarah comes to I am facing her sitting backwards on a chair spinning my knife on the back of her chair. Her eyes grow large with worry then she seems to recognize me before she can speak I start. "I am going to make this easy for you Sarah. You ever come near Dean again and I will kill you. You ever try to hurt Lara again and I will kill you. You try to even get near my family or friends again and I kill you. Am I clear?"

Sarah goes to snort out some snappy come back but I quickly jump out of my seat and grab the knife by the handle putting it to her throat. I allow my black eyes to flash one of the few things I still have left. "There are things about me no one knows. I can torture you for decades and make you believe you are in hell. I can make your life an undying eternal suffering. Don't fuck with me. If I ever see you near them or if you try to rat me out I will be back. And trust me princess if I come back here it will end with you begging me to kill you."

I take the blade and slice the side of her face shallowly. Just enough for it to hurt but not so much she can't chalk it up to an accident. "Don't forget I don't want to come back here ever again."

Sarah just shakes her head yes. "I swear I'll never touch him again. You'll never see me again." I just laugh. "Good I would hate to deliver you to my father sooner than necessary."

Poor bitch has no idea who she has messed with. Lara's uncles are angels, her brother in law is a intimidating hunter, her husband is deadly hunter, and her best friend is the scariest of them all... a fucking demon.

a/n SO SORRY GUYS! I know where I am going with this but I got a bit of writers block even if I know what is going to happen. I seem to have gotten it back so hopefully it will be smooth sailing from here on out. I didn't proof read as much on this just wanting to get it out to you so if you see terribly mistakes I am so sorry! So sorry again and leave a review on how you liked the chapter thanks!


	66. Chapter 66

Lara's POV

I can't believe he kissed her. I don't want to think about it and can hardly stomach it but it's all I can think about. I was so excited to go see him that day. I had heard from the realtor that we got the house. I had just gone down to the bank and had the money moved over and signed the paper work that the house was ours. I was so excited to get to the bar and show him the deed with our names, Dean and Lara Winchester on it. I had the keys in my hands to give him his copy as well. It was supposed to be an amazing day. But instead when I enter the bar I see the blonde bimbo wrapped around my husband kissing him. I ran out and luckily had the key to our island home and fled there immediately. Not a few seconds later Uncle Gabe and Cas were there and they have been ever since.

A part of me wants to talk to Dean another part of me never wants to see him again. He was kissing her. How can he explain that? Uncle Cas said he has been to see Dean and that he is a mess. He isn't sleeping and hardly eating just drinking. Sam has called me and told me the same thing and that I need to talk to Dean that it was a big misunderstanding. Uncle Bobby and Aunt Karen came to visit a few times and tell me I need to go home and talk to Dean. I was surprised when even Uncle Bobby told me too because at first he said he was going to kill him. I'm afraid to talk to him to find out it wasn't a misunderstanding and that she is what he wants from now on, not me. I love him too much to lose him like this.

"Darling you need to go home and talk to him. He is your husband and you need to hear what he has to say. If after that you hate him and want him gone I will bring you back here and take care of everything for you. But you need to give him the chance to talk to you. He has been praying to me and Castiel every day all day just begging us to let him talk to you. He says he's been working on your bathroom at the house hoping it will lure you home. Please let me take you back to him it's been three weeks you need too." Uncle Gabe is practically begging me. I know he wouldn't be if he wasn't sure this is what I need to do.

On queue my baby starts to kick in my stomach. I can almost feel him saying go see Dean you need to see Dean! I let out a sob and Uncle Gabe comes to sit with me on the sofa and holds me while I cry. "I can't survive hearing him say he wanted her and doesn't want to be my husband Uncle Gabe. It will kill me."

"Lara you can't survive like this either. You need to talk to him." Uncle Gabe counters. I finish crying on his shoulder and try to clean myself up a bit. "Alright I will go back to talk to him. Take me to him."

It seems like before I am done with the sentence I am moving. Next thing I know I am standing in our new house in the bedroom. I can hear pounding in the bathroom. This must be the construction Uncle Gabe was telling me about. I take in a deep breath and put a hand over my womb and head to the bathroom. For a moment Dean doesn't notice me. He is too busy setting up the frame work for the shower. I take him in and at first am blown away by how attractive he is. It's been three weeks since I've been able to ogle him. Then I see how his eyes are red rimmed and his skin looks a bit pale. I did this to him. No Lara he did this to himself.

Dean's eyes finally meet mine and he drops is hammer without looking just moving towards me like a moth to light. "Lara." He cries out moving to pull me into his arms. I keep my hand up not ready for him to hug me yet. "You kissed Sarah Dean how could you." I cry out dropping my arm and wrapping them around me for strength.

"I swear it wasn't what it looked like Lara. She was drinking at the bar and I told her I was married and had a baby on the way and was happy. Jo told me you were coming so I put an order in for the cheese fries the way you like it with ranch and raspberry jam. On my way to get them she got in my way and started to kiss me. Once my brain realized what was happening you were there and I pushed her off me and she feel to the floor and I was running after you. I didn't kiss her she kissed me. You are the only woman I want to kiss for the rest of my life Lara I swear it." He seems to sincere. I can see the tears in his eyes and all I want to do is forgive him.

"What was I supposed to think Dean. She was one of your flings in the past and I know you hooked up with her quite a few times. " I try to stop sobbing not wanting him to see me this way. He moves to hold me again but I keep him back.

"I know she was Lara and I barely liked her then. She was an easy fuck when I was younger and that was it. I don't even like her Lara. I love you. I love you and only you forever I swear it. If I had known she was going to kiss me I would have decked her before she ever touched me I swear it Lara." He sounds to broke not to be. So I do the only thing I can think and that is jump onto him and pull him close and kiss him wildly.

"Do you swear you love me and only me forever Dean?" I ask him through kisses. I need to hear I won't have to see him with another woman like that. Dean growls actually and pulls me even closer. "I swear it Lara. You and only you forever. I am so sorry you had to see that."

We continue to kiss a bit longer in the bathroom exploring each other 's bodies with our hands. We take turns wiping the tears of each other's cheek and linking fingers. "Why did you leave me like Lara? How come you didn't stay to hear me tell you the truth? How could you think I would do that to you?"

I take a step back and look to the sky trying to keep from crying again. "Because it's what I was worried was going to happen so I just believed it." Dean looks at me like I hit him and takes a step back. "You thought because I was a bit of whore in my youth I would cheat on you?"

"No that isn't what I meant Dean." I shout out not wanting him to think that. He leaves the bathroom and goes to the bedroom to take a seat on the floor. "It wasn't really about you Dean it was about me." I try to explain.

"What are you talking about Lara?" I can tell he is going to be upset again soon. He isn't understanding me at all and I don't want to hurt him. "It's because of the baby Dean!" I exclaim just getting it out there.

Dean jumps off the floor and lays his hand over my stomach. "What do you mean the baby Lara? What's wrong with him? Is he alright?" The terror is leaking into his voice and he is about to go into full on hunter mode.

"No it's not that Dean. The baby is fine and healthy. I have been getting worried about how you were reacting to me having a baby. We are newlyweds and I am already pregnant and not with your child. I was worried you would regret it or get angry at me for allowing myself to have our first child not be yours. I guess I was just waiting for you to realize I wasn't worth it and find someone else who is." It hurts to say this out loud. I had been thinking it for months but haven't wanted to verbalizes.

The wheels in Dean's head seem to be turning. "That's why you wouldn't let me help you when you were throwing up. Or why you would ask Gabe and Cas to get you food. Or why you always looked a bit sad when he kicked and you wanted to get excited about it but stopped. Or why you haven't let me go out and buy thing for him yet."

I just shake my head yes. "I didn't want to burden you with my morning sickness and crazy cravings when it wasn't even your baby. I felt that Uncle Cas and Gabe should have to deal with it. And I felt guilty getting excited about the baby when it wasn't yours. I had always imagined us having our first child and it wasn't like this. We were together for a while and it was yours and in my mind you were so excited. You held my hand at the doctors appointments and begged me to print out extra copies of the ultrasound to give to Sam and Uncle Bobby. But I took that all away from you. Our first child is from heaven and not yours. There is no doctor's appointments and sonograms. Hell we can't even give birth in a hospital. I've been waiting for it all to dawn on you and decide this is too much and you can't be part of it." I can't stop myself from sobbing. Dean pulls me to him and kisses the top of my head.

"Lara you listen to me and you listen to me good. That baby you are carrying is mine in all the ways that matter. He may not have any of my DNA but I love him so much already. I don't care about sonograms and paternity that baby is mine. That baby is yours which means it is mine. I meet him that night Lara and we are family. He loves me like a father and I love him like a son. You are not robbing me from anything. I have wanted so badly to be part of these things with you. I wanted to rub your back when you will ill, get your crazy foods in the middle of the night, feel our son kick in you, hell I even wanted to impulsively buy adorable little high top sneakers for him. You should have come to me about this sooner Lara. You shouldn't have been carrying this alone." 

"You mean that?" I choke out. He shakes his head with his signature grin gracing his lips. "Every fucking word of it Lara. I love you more than anything and I love that little guy inside of you just as much." I maybe sobbing but I can't stop myself from reaching up to kiss him.

Soon I am not longer crying and just focused on Dean on me. He manages to get my shirt of easily enough and I get his off just as quickly. His hands move to my back and undo my bra and move back to cup my breast and I let out a moan and he massages them. His hands move to my pants and he undoes them and pulls them off my hips. I kick my shoes off with them and he lowers me to the ground. From above me he quickly kicks off his boots and tugs off his jeans then covers my body with is. "Never leave me like that again Lara. Promise me if we have a fight or misunderstanding like that again you won't leave. You can kick my ass to the couch just not that again."

"I swear Dean I won't. I was just worried that you were going to tell me you wanted her. I didn't think I could survive you leaving me for her." I try to explain to him. He leans down and kisses me passionately begging entrance to my lips then pulls back. "Well the way to fix that isn't to leave me. From here on out we don't run. We fight it out hell throw a punch if you have to but no running. I swear I won't either."

"Deal, now make love to me before I explode." I promise him. Dean leans back down and claims my lips and I feel his hands rip my panties off. I manage to get his boxers off. I spread my legs for him and leans in and soon we are one. "Damn Lara you feel better than I remember." He cries out into my neck has he pushes further into me.

"Move Dean! I need you!" I beg him. He doesn't leave me wanting long and soon is moving in and out of me. His lips all over my face, my neck, my chest, my lips again. All the while my hands are all over his chest, his back, his hips, even his ass. I just want him. "So close." I moan out.

"Me too baby." Dean responds and slides in again. I arch off the floor and let out a cry has I cum hoping is not far behind. Not one slide more and he is cumming into me as well. Before he can fall over he falls to my side and pulls me into him his resting his hand over the baby.

" I have missed you so much Lara. I love you more than words can express. I've been missing the little guy too." He tells me running his finger tips over my shoulders and back as he traces little circles over my belly.

"I miss you too Dean and so did the baby. He was constantly kicking me and I could feel him telling me to come home to Dean. To come home to his Daddy." I sigh. Dean turns to me and kisses me gently. "That's right I am his daddy and don't you go forgetting that." He says with a wink.

We lay there a bit longer excited to be reunited. "We should head back to Bobby's and let him know you came back. He has been worried about us."

"I'm sorry about that. I know I shouldn't have left I just needed to get my thoughts together." I know it's a poor excuse but it's all I have.

"It's fine your Uncle actually seems to like me a bit more because of it." I raise my eye brow at him and he just chuckles searching the room for his boxers. My panties are destroyed so I just pull my pants up. "He heard what at happened and when he saw him he punched me just like Balthazar did. Then I told him what happened and he saw me mop around for the last three weeks without you. I think he believes now how much I love you. So if nothing else your Uncle isn't as angry as he was."

"They hit you?" I scream out checking his face. "Balthazar could have broken every bone in your face are you alright?" I don't mean to panic but I have to check him over. He just chuckles at me. "I am fine. Balthazar must have used human strength because all I got was a bloody nose."

I do one more check and am happy to see he isn't hurt anymore. If he was I would have kicked Balthazar's ass and made him fix it. Dean helps me down the stairs since I am bit wobbly on my feet at the moment and out the door to baby to head back home. "We can start to get furniture now that you are back." He tells me with a smile. "We have a lot of work to do before I give birth."

The drive back is quiet but we are happy. We are both holding hands tightly in the front seat and I even move over and lean my head on his shoulder. We pull up to my Uncle and Aunt's house and come in through the front door. I can smell Aunt Karen cooking in the kitchen. "Dinner is almost ready Dean why don't you wash up."

We both enter the kitchen and she has her back to us then finally turns around. "Lara!" She exclaims and runs to me to hug me. "Thank goodness you came back to your senses and came back to hear what your poor husband had to say. He has been a wreck without you Lara. An absolute wreck. Barley eating, drinking constantly, moping around. You tell him your sorry now."

I wrap my arm around Dean's waist and he puts his arm around me. "I did Aunt Karen don't worry. I swore I would never run again."

"Good! It is a terrible way to solve a fight and I raised you to be more mature than that." My Uncle Bobby yells coming in from behind us. I turn and blush at the truth my uncle was speaking. "In a marriage running away from your problems it never fixes a thing. Never thought I'd be agreeing with Dean over you in something like this but Lara that was the wrong way to handle that situation. I am not saying you didn't have reason to believe he was being an ass because we all thought it at first but you shouldn't have waited three weeks to come hear what he has to say. You are lucky he is so head over heels in love with you."

"I know Uncle Bobby, I was wrong. I told Dean as much. I was just so upset by what I saw and it was something I had been dreading for weeks to begin with it." Damn hormones I can feel the tears coming back.

Uncle Bobby starts to laugh. "You were worried he was going to cheat on you? Are you blind girl. That boy is so moon eyed over you I doubt he ever knows other women exist. I am glad you are all made up now but don't let this happen again. I don't need to be picking his drunk ass off the floor at my age." I just stand there speechless and Dean squeezes me a bit to let me know he still loves me.

After dinner we had to Sammy's and Jo's so they both know I am back and everything is alright. Neither of them lecture me but they both tell me I was being silly thinking Dean would ever cheat on me. Jo even pulled me aside to tell me she was there and that the slut did come on to Dean not the other way around. Before we leave though they both sit us down.

"So Lara we wanted to tell you both at the same time but Dean found me puking at work a few weeks ago and you took off before we could tell you." Jo reaches for Sam's hand and smiles at him adoringly. "We are going to have a baby, we are almost 3 months along." Jo finished.

I try to jump off the couch but Sam ends up helping me up and I pull her into a hug. "Oh Jo I am so happy for you. You to Sammy." I tell him over Jo's shoulder.

"Now that you are back we can get married too. We aren't going to do anything to crazy, it would be too painful to. We are going to go to the justice of the peace and then a nice restaurant but I wanted you to be my matron of honor Lara."

"Of course Jo! I would be honored. I am sorry I put such a stop in your plans as well. I messed everything up." Sam comes up behind me and puts his hand on my shoulder. "You're pregnant your hormones are everywhere we understand. But we want to get married as soon as possible. So I hope you both can be ready by the weekend because Dean you are my best man."

"Oh gosh Jo we can't get a bridal shower, a bachelorette party, a wedding, and reception planned in that short of time." I exclaim.

Jo breaks into laughter. "It's the same time line you gave Dean and that turned out great! Besides I don't want the bridal shower and bachelorette party. Without my mom it just doesn't seem right. Sam and I have already got our clothes picked out and I have an idea for you too. This is going to be real low key and relaxing. Just family and friends. I'm pregnant already, Sam loves me, I have what I want the vows are merely a formality."

"Alright we do it your way. I will try and find a restaurant for us tomorrow. You don't worry about a thing Jo." She pulls me into a hug and kisses my cheek. "I'm so glad you're back I missed you."

We leave shortly after and we are both humming with excitement for Jo and Sammy. They needed something happy to happen to them. Dean reaches across the seat and squeezes me hand. "I am so happy for them. A few weeks ago Jo told me she was worried that we were all mad at her because she wasn't the same. She needed good news."

I turn to Dean and smile. "I am too. I have been worried about her because she has been so different since what happened but what could she expect. Her whole world changed violently. Hell most of the stuff we all did together she barley remembers."

"They want to move to Detroit after the wedding. Sam will finish up with the last of his credits in the next few weeks and they want to start fresh there. He even already got accepted to University of Detroit Mercy Law." Dean tells me a bit nervous to how I will react.

I take in a deep breath. It will be weird to not have them in town. I lived with Sam for years and then later with Jo. I want them both nearby but they know what they need. "Well it's more than a day trip for sure but if that's what they need we will support them."

A few minutes before we pull up to the house the rains starts to pitter patter on our windshield. We pull up as close to the house as possible and Dean runs out first lifting his coat over my head so I don't get wet. I can't so much as run to the house in my state but Dean stays with me and helps me to the front porch.

The lights are already off so it looks like Aunt Karen and Uncle Bobby went to bed a while ago. I meet Dean's eyes and our bodies just start to move towards each other. There is nothing I can do but kiss him senseless by the front door. It's been three weeks without him even if it was my dumb ass that separated us. I sneak my hands up the back of his shirt and end up dragging my nails down his back as he starts to suck on my neck. "Dean." I moan out unable to stop myself.

Dean pulls back slightly and gives me his cocky I am making you horny grin. "Come on baby I am taking you to bed." He tells me with a wink. He goes to pick me up to carry me up the stairs but I swat him away knowing I am heavier than normal.

The entire way up the stairs we can't seem to keep our hands off each other and we are losing clothes faster than we should considering my Aunt and Uncle are still in the home. We practically trip into my room and fall onto my bed. This time I am on top of him not wanting my stomach to be in the way of what we are about to do.

We spend the next few hours making slow and passionate love to each other. I kind of lose track of how many times he made me cum and by the end of it all I am boneless mess draped over him breathing hard, sweat slicked, and ever so content. We manage to kiss one last time before drifting off to sleep.

_It's comfortable in my cell for once. They don't bother me much. I am allowed more food than normal, frequent bathroom breaks, almost daily showers, even a mattress. Some of the demons have brought me things for the baby. I understand now that I am pregnant. They have explained it to me and told me that this baby is very special and I need to take good care of it. Which of course I am. I make sure to talk to him all day and tell it how much I love him. _

_ It's very risky but I even have a plan to try to escape. I assume someone will have to come and help me give birth. I am not quite sure what all it entails but I can't imagine that I can get the baby out of me alone. I am hopeful that they take me out of my cell or leave my cell open for whatever they need to do. If I can just stay focused enough that will be my time to make a move. I will run for the keys, yell out an exorcism, and make a run for it. It's the only chance I have of making sure my baby is not raised by these monsters. _

_ My back is finally better. I can move around without the scabs breaking open and bleeding all over again. I think I finally have the strength to make a run for it. It pains me to know that the man that hurt me the most also gave me the most beautiful gift. Sam Winchester may be a monster who destroyed me but he also gave me hope in the form of our baby. _

_ If I manage to get free I will not allow that monster to ever touch my baby. I can't have my child knowing a father that drinks demon blood. I will also make sure demons never get their hands on my child. I will make a dash to the closest church. I will try and hide there until I can make my next move. I assume a priest will be able to help me. They have to do know and believe demons are real right? They will know how to keep my child and me safe, or at least my baby. If I die to make sure he lives it is worth it. I don't know what they have planned for my baby but it can't be good. Any other woman who has ever gotten pregnant down her had her baby ripped out of her body without so much as an ounce of compassion. The fact they are not only letting me keep him but trying to make me comfortable makes me more scared than if they did just rip him out. _

_ I've had more than enough time to contemplate my child's name. I don't know a lot of non demonic names. I hear them say it's going to be a boy but how do I know if that is true. Any of the masculine names I have heard have been on missions and I just don't want one of those for my child. How can I look a Sam or a Nick in the face knowing what they did to me. There is only one name that doesn't terrify me and that is Dean. When Ruby was wearing me I was there to try to comfort and lure Sam away because he was mourning the death of his brother Dean. Sam would lay in bed and tell us all about his amazing brother. He sounds like a true hero, a perfect man for my son to be named after. I only hope I can give my Dean a life and not a cell. _

_ The door to the cellar opens and I flinch out of habit. I relax knowing they won't be down for me. They haven't been since I got back with Ruby. I watch as a tall woman descends into my hell. She is gorgeous and moves with a fluidity that I am sure I will never processes. I can see the woman in her begging to be released and I know the pain she is suffering being stuck in her own body. The woman walks to my cell and stops. I notice she is being followed by one of my captors. "So this is her?" She barks out to the demon behind her. _

_ "Yes that is her." He replies coldly. The woman waves me to come forward but I don't move to scared to move. "Come closer, you do not want me to have to come in there and get you."_

_ It's hard for me to get off the floor in my state but I manage to get up without any help an waddle over to my cell door. The demon's hand enters my cell and grabs my cheek moving my head from side to side. "She's pretty I see why Sam Winchester fell for her so fast. Is the baby due soon?  
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_ "Oh yes, we are hoping to see him by the end of the month." My captor tells the new demon with an evil smile. I try not to cower at the idea of one of these creatures touching my baby Dean. _

_ The new demon drops my face and reaches behind her back. Everything moves so fast and I see her hand move quickly and slash the demons neck, his whole body is alight and he falls to the floor. The demon's other hand reaches out and grabs my arm with an iron grip and pulls me to the cell doors. "This baby can't be allowed to be born." It tells me as it stabs my stomach over and over again. I feel the life force in my baby slowly drain out of my body, and I have nothing left to live for._

"DEAN! THE BABY! DEAN!" I scream out sitting straight up in bed. I am caught in the sheets and I can't seem to move my hands fast enough. I finally get them out and bring them to my stomach. "I WAS STABBED DEAN!"

"Oh my god Lara! CAS! GABe! WE NEED YOU!" Dean prays out jumping from the bed and moving to my side to turn on the light. The light finally floods the room and Dean starts to examine my naked stomach.

There is a sound of fluttering and the room is filled with my Uncles. "Dean what is the matter?" They both ask quickly rushing to my side unbothered by our nakedness. "I don't know she woke up screaming she was stabbed."

Before they can get to me the door opens and Uncle Bobby and Aunt Karen come running in with guns and knives. "Lara, Dean, are you alright?" Uncle Bobby huffs out.

Dean is focused on my stomach and keeps moving his hand around it looking for a wound. "Lara what happened? I don't see anything?" We are both looking at my stomach with three slash marks appear and they start to bleed. "Dean the baby!" I cry out.

Both Uncle Cas and Gabe throw their hands on me and start to pour their grace through me. I can feel it going through every crevice of my body and the wounds start to close up. They both take a step back and examine my stomach again. "It is fine, the baby is fine." Uncle Gabe finally assures us.

I let out a sob unable to contain it any longer. Dean jumps in the bed next to me, wraps a sheet around me and pulls me to him. I cry into his naked chest trying to understand everything that just happened in my head. "Dean the baby, her baby, it was killed I could feel it."

Uncle Bobby coughs lightly and hands Dean a pair of pants. I guess someone is bothered by his naked state. Dean gives him a pissed of glare and quickly jumps up pulls them on and then gets back into the bed and pulls me to him again. "What baby honey? What happened?"

I turn my face up to look him in the eyes. "The other Lara. Lara's and Sam's baby, a demon well it stabbed her and killed the baby. I felt it Dean I swear I did." I try to explain it to him. He wasn't here at the time he doesn't know what happened.

"This has happened before Dean. While you were in hell Lara completely connected with her other self. It is not surprising that with such a traumatic event she connected with her again. Luckily her child is safe but to her she was stabbed and the baby died." Uncle Gabe tells Dean trying to explain how it felt to me which is nearly impossible.

Dean pulls me even closer if that is possible and rocks me a bit. "You are positive that our child is fine?" He asks just making sure. Both Uncle Cas and Uncle Gabe shake their heads yes. Dean lets out a breath I doubt he knew he was holding. "Alright thank you all. I got this from here. Cas, Gabe, please stay close in case we need you again."

Just as fast as our room filled up it emptied again. Dean spends the rest of the night holding me and soothing me. He promised me that our child will be fine and he will protect him at all costs. He doesn't force me to go back to sleep in case I go back there and feel her lifeless baby still in her body. He doesn't ask me to stop crying, he just holds me all through the night.

a/n I Hope you like the new chapter. I got my first negative review on this story but I'm not sure why you would go 22 chapters to realize you hate it. Just stop early on! Well I hope you like it.


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